You should never feel bad about wanting to change or re-shape yourself into the person you want to be. Just because people have an old image of you in their minds, doesn’t mean it’s your responsibility to maintain that. Saying things like “what will they think of me?” will only place fear in your heart and paralyze you from reaching your greatest potential. You deserve to meet the highest version of youself during this lifetime. You can out grow, re-new, evolve as much as you desire. There’s so many layers to us, unravel and explore all of you.
How clearly does the point need to be made that "police officer" is just a fucking job, one with minimal training and minimal monitoring. It is NOT some kind of promise of honesty, truth, or heroism. It is a bunch of assistant managers with extremely powerful weapons. IF you can understand "pedophiles choose to be priests and teachers so they can get to children", IF you understand "arsonists choose to be firefighters so they can be present at their own crimes" - then you can ALSO understand "people who are bigoted, violent, and power-hungry choose to be cops for the opportunities the job presents" and you can ALSO understand "any occupational culture that chooses fraternity over justice - and the allowance of violence in the name of a unified front - is therefore siding with their worst representatives"