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blog is being archived. all current threads are being moved over! old threads i will be abandoning, unless we are mains. but honestly still happy to pick up the same plot type again. muses will shift a little, I will be dropping some and privating others. may see if I want to pick up any new muses. I won't be following back people who I don't/haven't interacted with over a long period of time! just so I keep things kept to my writing partners. this doesn't count to people waiting on my slow ass either.

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the way I would canonly ship them (ignore armin he's being polite and looking away)

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on a small break while my mental health declines so i'll be back to writing when my head isn't completed meshed!

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Kicking my feet and giggling whenever I get to read replies

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Laura doesn't lust and honestly, in her perspective, she doesn't find people attractive. Can't comment on their physical beauty because she doesn't ponder on it. Very demi of her. Unattractive until proven pretty. It takes her awhile, or, in very specific moments where their inner beauty speaks, that she might stand there and think. Oh. They are actually, very beautiful. She may slowly fall for the sound of your heartbeat, and the lightest changes in your eyes when viewing the world, it might be a point of view that challenges hers in a way that inspires her rather than irritates. Then, she will notice physical features she hadn't paid mind to; and it takes her by surprise because, did they always look this way. It's also why she doesn't find herself pretty; she knows she is attractive in looks, that was drilled in her mind since childhood, but she knows she's an ugly person.

So, when she actually does feel attraction, she is a bit of a mess with it. You could stand nose to nose with her before and she'd be ready for a challenge / she may recoil because she's offended, but not flustered. But otherwise, she may be motionless, deer in headlights, before finding an appropriate excuse to storm off, because her face is about to burn up, and she's mad about it.

Even drunk Laura, who doesn't ever drink, and I need to find situations when she WOULD, doesn't really change in that aspect. Unless you've gotten to that stage. Then she is stupid. And touchy. I say that like her version isn't just, hand on your cheek.

Anyway, I love Laura who slowly starts to find everything about you ridiculously attractive after getting to this stage and slowly noticing more and more, being mad about how distracting it is, until she finally just succumbs to it and accepts. Even people who aren't conventionally attractive? That's now the prettiest person in the room, and no one else catches her eyes.

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Back from the long con weekend so will be online this evening! Stupidly excited to start writing.

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I must sleep I was driving for over an hour to pick something up before and it got so late fast. But by sleep I mean I am going to mobile now for another hour or so, so I am finally getting to chatting again / plotting / all etc. ! Thank you everyone who is so patient with me. Feel free to come chat! If I pass out at some point during, I am sorry in advance.

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@viitlumi continued.

REQUESTS AREN'T MADE LIGHTLY. Laura doesn't ask for help, rarely needs it / refuses the belittlement of needing anyone, for she can make herself an expert instead, surpassing any flaw that might come her way. Years had grown on her, not so much rambunctious as she'd once been. Defeat in knowing she can't rely on her own skills here ... or lack of. She's impatient, can't afford to wait; riding horseback was fine enough. The animals in question, however, were the problem. She manages well enough, the military horses in the inner walls complied without much resistance. But there's rarely a use for them. It's the scouts horses that were her target. Far more reliable, capable, trained as any war horse should. She remembers her THE FIRST, long ago, who seemed out for her especially; refused to bow to her. It had taken awhile, but even then, off-field she'd find no leeway with him. That had been her one and only horse in her time with the survey corp.

Animals weren't her strong suit, nor was she much of an animal person to begin with. Laura didn't need to be. Her issue right now was the new horses.

He's not from here and it makes it easier to approach. From what she can already gather, he's the easy-going sort; but, time will tell. Never completely trusting, she has her eyes set sharply on those across the sea. But it's different. All of them are. It intrigues her in a way she can't describe; eye opening and oddly freeing. She's been suffocating in these walls.

“ ... ”

Laura should be relieved for his help. Happy he had accepted. But at his words, lips shut together, pressing into a hard line. Expression wavers, and there's a light twitch in her brow ... maybe, she clicks her tongue quietly and lets her biting gaze glare at nothing in particular. Admitting it feels like vile in her throat, bitterness when she finally gets the words out; demeaning to hear them out loud. To have someone on full witness to her shame.

“ They don't like me. ” It's almost too quiet at first, her words coming out under a muttered breath. Her face twists with a semblance of disgust. With a moment to recover, she straightens herself up, regaining her domineering manner with a frown and a tilt of her head. “ I'm not exactly an animal person. And they don't listen to me. I don't want to waste time on it. So you don't need to be perfect, good enough works fine. ”

She can't quite admit how bad it is / to Vito, or herself. It's not a matter of riding. It's getting close enough to them without issue. Sometimes she gets lucky, they do what they need to do and she can leave it at that. But lately, it had gotten ridiculous. She blames the new horses above all else. Ones who had yet to get used to her presence; and she had gotten impatient.

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The love I have for her exceeds normality.

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random yearnings I have to write but mostly muse about and drabble about one day when my brain does the thing I enjoy; work:

survey corps pre-series is always a brainrot so that gets to be jotted down here.

I really want Laura to talk about Rickard and Norman but it's so hard with her she won't do it. But I need her to finally talk about it. I want her to confide. Have the strong urge for her to voice how she feels. How the stories of mothers protecting their children during the catastrophe is bittersweet. Let her break, for being a terrible would-be mother. And that it haunts her in a way she wouldn't have once imagined.

I am still brainrotted about muses meeting as children. I don't know how, or why, because Laura is locked away in her room most her days, but I crave. I want childhood and even pre-teen, any age setting before fifteen. Because she is so different.

I waaant misunderstood conflict that gets too personal and out of control and they are saying things that end up getting harsh, because Laura can be so vicious. But you say things that manage to get to her and she is beyond offended, pierced through the stomach, and will overstep. And I love that. I love the aftermath of things like that where everything is tense and everyone around them is uncomfortable by the energy they are bringing.

I do want to re-add and go into modern verses, because honestly, she be giving Caitlyn (arcane) energy in one specific verse.

I blame the Farlan obsession for wanting more underground setting, and my love for high-class prissy fucker to be in that setting because she is a danger to herself by opening her mouth at any instance. More so during her survey corps days, that specific age she is /worse/, but any age, any setting. It fuels me.

AU! setting for Laura who doesn't ever join the military. Not the training corps. Not the survey corps. None. Who never breaks free. She is so, so broken inside, she is the doll her mother wanted, and she is well versed in the game they play. She is fake. Her eyes are sad, but she will smile and say all the right things. Is so empty, that she doesn't care for all the men she attracts, because none can have her. She feels like a phantom. And it's the noble and military gatherings of this setting that also rot my brain. It takes a certain type to see through her mask, because her mother is a natural, and she learnt from the best. Tell Laura her smile is fake and she just smiles wider.

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Laura is a fucking goblin

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SHE HARBORS NO REMORSE. A part of her knows how cutting her tongue is / another, ignorant to it's weight. Laura's intent has no ill will, nor does it have much warmth. And still so easy to rile up, almost losing composure at ilse's baffling commentary; guarded, repulsion in her stunned agape. Offended by the mere notion, as though the teasing element of the girls theatrics were absent. Laura is quick to straighten up, pull her scowl into a neat line, resist the urge to bite her inner cheek ... instead, she looks down from her nose. “ I don't need or want anything like that. Go find someone to baby if you're so insistent. If you can. You're barely in shape to look after yourself. ”

Laura doesn't want it twisted. There's a twitch in her brow as ilse falters. Eyes don't waver from the girl, always watching, always aware / and Laura wasn't being nice. She wasn't trying to show kindness. It would be fake otherwise. Laura would prefer to focus on other things, mostly improving herself.

wouldn’t want you losing sleep over me.

It hadn't crossed her mind, and still ... hearing it out loud almost makes her recoil. In a way, there's things she didn't understand. Not about ilse, nor her insistence to bother with her. There's nothing here she wants from the girl. BONDS ARE A LIE. She's seen the fabrication of masks all her life. Laura had no intention of living with that, playing pretend with others, caring how they might see her so long as they understood one crucial thing - and that was she was never beneath them.

She spent awhile ignoring it before the consistency of her company made her question it. Laura had a foul personality in the eyes of others; she wasn't shy about that fact. AND STILL IT DIDN'T DETER THE GIRL. What had she hoped to gain? If she wanted companionship, she'd better find someone else. There was nothing here for ilse either.

I'm not collapsing. What a joke. Just watching the display beforehand had been enough. Laura isn't quite sure why, doesn't know where it stems from, but at some point, it had irritated her. A gnawing in her chest. Her stare only leaves briefly, looking above to where she could be right now. As she said, you're next. Laura is silent. Growing increasingly annoyed. Her head basically snaps back to her with a GLARE.

Then, without warning, she pushes her. Hard.

laura’s scowl digs into her, sharp and unrelenting, but it only makes her want to push back, just a little. not with force, no - something softer, something that slides between the cracks laura tries so hard to keep sealed.  a grin threatens the corners of her mouth as she tilts her head. "oh, so you’re not into being the babier? hmm," she lets her voice linger, soft but edged with something playful, teasing. the wind tugs at her hair, pulling loose strands across her face, but she doesn’t bother to push them away. "maybe you prefer being the one who’s babied? i can do that, you know. been told i’m great at taking care of people." the words are light, meant to push against laura’s seriousness, to balance the weight pressing down on her chest.  it’s the kind of thing she says because it’s easier than letting laura’s words dig too deep, but beneath the tease, there’s something else - something she doesn’t want to name.

ilse straightens, puts more pressure on her left heel and hovers above the ground, the wires supporting her easily. she wipes the dampness from her palms against her thighs, and lets the smile slip, slow and steady, like a tide receding. 

“i’m not collapsing,”  the words are softer than she meant them to be. there's no bite this time, just an ache she doesn’t know how to hide. but her chest is tight, constricting. laura's words, you’ll slow people down, stick to the inside of her mind, festering. not her worst nightmare, but close. not being totally useless, but being a hindrance. her fingers fumble with the straps of her gear, re-adjusting them, something to focus on that isn’t laura’s eyes boring into her. “ but i’ll take better care of myself. wouldn’t want you losing sleep over me.” she knows knows her words will probably bounce off that hard exterior, but ilse can’t help herself. it’s easier to push through with humor than to admit how just how much sleep has been elusive lately. 

she shifts her weight and, with a soft click, disengages the hooks from her waist, feeling the familiar lurch as gravity takes hold again, her boots hitting the dirt with a thud.

“you’re next.”

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this is more of a wishlist from canon events and it's the biggest brainrot. I am cringe and free. I keep this as potential ideas of plotting for worldbuilding and character building within canon exploration, which is away from my default verse so no one is forced to deal with my brainrot.

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its laura brainrot today I will try jump on my multi but this fucker calls to me

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new dash banner 🔥🔥🔥

THANK YOU!! me who always changes graphics to be able to function. Plus I am finally reusing my old fc more because I have time to edit ehe, so now we vibe!

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spending my time editing screencaps and editing more face expressions, while I wait for my brain to work for writing

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ੈ✩‧₊˚ smutty dialogue prompts

¹⁾ “you heard me. strip.”

²⁾ “let me hear you, baby.”

³⁾ “show me how you want to be touched.”

⁴⁾ “why don’t we film it?”

⁵⁾ “you have no idea how much i want you right now.”

⁶⁾ “i’m going to fuck every last thought out of this pretty little head.”

⁷⁾ “god, you look amazing like this.”

⁸⁾ “let’s put that smart mouth to good use.”

��⁾ “you should probably hold on to something.”

¹⁰⁾ “what if someone sees?!”

¹¹⁾ “don’t be afraid, it’s just me.”

¹²⁾ “no underwear?”

¹³⁾ “i could lift up your dress right now, and no one would even notice.”

¹⁴⁾ “since when do friends do things like this?”

¹⁵⁾ “go on, baby. ride my thigh.”

¹⁶⁾ “say that again.”

¹⁷⁾ “let’s give them a real reason to be jealous.”

¹⁸⁾ “don’t worry about the damn clothes, i’ll just buy you new ones.”

¹⁹⁾ “touch me.”

²⁰⁾ “i’m yours.”

²¹⁾ “if you want to come, you’ll have to beg.”

²²⁾ “if i have to pull over, you won’t be able to walk for a week.”

²³⁾ “did you wear this just for me?”

²⁴⁾ “shush, we can’t have anyone hearing this.”

²⁵⁾ “i’ll buy you whatever the hell you want, so long as you let me take it off you.”

²⁶⁾ “you look so pretty when you’re cumming for me.”

²⁷⁾ “why don’t we use some of your toys?”

²⁸⁾ “i need you. now.”

²⁹⁾ “it’s my thigh or nothing. i’m not lifting a finger to help you get off.”

³⁰⁾ “bite me”.

³¹⁾ “beg for it.”

³²⁾ “people who’re just friends don’t do shit like this, and you know it.”

³³⁾ “stop that, i told you that you can’t leave any marks.”

³⁴⁾ “oh, yeah? you like it when i do that, baby?”

³⁵⁾ “tell me what you want me to do to you.”

³⁶⁾ “i know i said we couldn’t do this anymore, but i need you. please.”

³⁷⁾ “oh, fuck- do that thing with your tongue again.”

³⁸⁾ “wait- what if someone sees?”

³⁹⁾ “i had no idea you were into this.”

⁴⁰⁾ “go on. fuck yourself on my cock/strap/hand.”

⁴¹⁾ “i, uh- i might’ve left a few marks.”

⁴²⁾ “let me give you a reason to stay in bed.”

⁴³⁾ “if you’re worried about people hearing then you’d better stay quiet, hadn’t you?”

⁴⁴⁾ “i like you so much better with my hand around your throat.”

⁴⁵⁾ “what would they think if they could see you now, hm?”

⁴⁶⁾ “poor baby, all fucked out and i’ve barely even touched you.”

⁴⁷⁾ “you heard me. i want you to sit on my face.”

⁴⁸⁾ “you never look better than you do when you’re underneath me.”

⁴⁹⁾ “do you seriously think it’s funny? sending me shit like that while i’m at work?!”

⁵⁰⁾ “you can be a little rougher, y’know. i’m not exactly delicate.”