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lavaparker Ā· 8 days
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Breeding as a concept? Amazing
Mentions of breeding/getting pregnant during dirty talk? Outstanding
Real life pregnancy? No. Horrifying. Never. Hard pass. Worst thing imaginable.
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lavaparker Ā· 3 months
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*Spidey and the Sinister Six having their usual fight*
Doc Ock, landing a hit: Youā€™re getting slow Spider-Man! Age finally catching up to you?
Spider-Man: You wish! I havenā€™t even hit my 30s! From those costumes I can already tell I failed to save you guys from those midlife crises! Sorry by the way.
Vulture: Watch it wallcr- waitā€¦ Did you just say your not in your thirties yet?
Spider-Man: Surprised that this spiders so young and spry? Well-
Electro: Dude Iā€™ve been fighting you for at least 5 fucking years! How old even are you?
Shocker, joking cause heā€™s the only one who picked up no grown adult acts likes Spidey: Donā€™t swear in-front of the boy you donā€™t want him to pick it up.
Rhino: Christ! Youā€™re tellin me I almost crushed some 12-year-olds skull all those years ago?
Spider-Man, regretting his quipping: I was not that young! Like just starting freshman year but-
Sandman, horrified as heā€™s the only one with a kid and dad instincts(as of my iteration): I couldā€™ve killed a kidā€¦
Shocker, genuinely curious: Are you even old enough to drink? Cruel to kill a man who ainā€™t had his first drink yet.
Electro: Please tell us youā€™re at least over 25 as of this fight. Hell, Iā€™ll take over 21!
Spider-Man:ā€¦.
Sandman, realizing just how young he really is: Oh my god.
Spider-Man: My birthdayā€™s coming up soon so I guess it counts?
Doc Ock, exacerbated: It. Does. Not!
Vulture: What would your mother think if she knew her son was out here risking his life telling poorly constructed jokes?
Spider-Man, offended cause it quips slap: 1. My jokes are great 2. She and my dad are dead so-
Sandman, hysterical cause holy shit he almost killed a kid orphan: OH MY GOD!
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lavaparker Ā· 4 months
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The fun will never end, it's...
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lavaparker Ā· 4 months
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Mission is over, papa is home šŸ’–
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lavaparker Ā· 4 months
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read tumblr's update wrong and thought it said tumblr was closing its website and i was so surprised at first then reread it lmao
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lavaparker Ā· 5 months
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ACES!!! Look at this Scientific American article!!! It makes me genuinely so happy to read. Weā€™re making it!!!!
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/asexuality-is-finally-breaking-free-from-medical-stigma/
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lavaparker Ā· 5 months
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so done with people today omg
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lavaparker Ā· 5 months
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a mutual i used to be friends with blocked me on here lmao nice
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lavaparker Ā· 5 months
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Details: breaking waves from paintings by Jeanne Smith.
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lavaparker Ā· 5 months
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The four penguins from Madagascar are, somehow, isekaied in the middle of the clone wars
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lavaparker Ā· 5 months
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lavaparker Ā· 6 months
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uu-chan
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original and context:
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Based on myself showing off an uu-chan someone gifted me when I last cosplayed Reigen
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lavaparker Ā· 6 months
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THIS!!
THIS IS AN AMAZING WAY TO THINK OF CHRONIC PAIN
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lavaparker Ā· 6 months
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Franz Kafka writing a letter to his dad
~ 1919, colorized
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lavaparker Ā· 7 months
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THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER (2023) + TEXT POSTS
@lgbtqcreators creator challenge - text posts
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lavaparker Ā· 8 months
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Hello Iā€™m here to talk about an opinion that isnā€™t so much unpopular because people donā€™t like it, but because it is splitting hairs and basically an argument based in semantics that sane people reasonably do not waste their time caring about it.
I am neither sane nor reasonable and therefore think about this a lot, and get ready to pull out a soapbox and type the Text Wall of China any time I hear people offhandedly contradict this opinion, and so I have come here today to die on this molehill, and write the over-long post of my dreams, because fuck it, itā€™s my blog.
Drumroll please:
Sauron is not The Lord of the Rings
The Lord of the Rings is the main antagonist though, so furthermore,
Sauron is not the main antagonist of The Lord of the Rings
I internally go insane every time someone says ā€œSauron, the eponymous Lord of the Ringsā€ or ā€œThe antagonist never actually appears in Lord of the Ringsā€ or uses Lord of the Rings as an penultimate example of having a flat ā€˜evil for evilā€™s sakeā€™ villain. This is mostly in YouTube videos so Iā€™m not calling out anyone here.
So who is the Lord of the Rings? Where do I get this shit? Why should anyone care?
I will tell you in far too much detail under this cut, because I told you I was gonna be extra about it and this is already long enough to inflict on my followers without their consent.
First and foremost, Frodo is not the Lord of the Rings either. Letā€™s get that out of the way. Gandalf explicitly tells us that in Many Meetings (the first chapter in Rivendell in Fellowship), when Pippin greets a newly awakened Frodo with quintessential Fool of a Tookā„¢ļø swagger.
ā€˜Hurray!ā€™ cried Pippin, springing up. ā€˜Here is our noble cousin! Make way for Frodo, Lord of the Ring!ā€™
ā€˜Hush!ā€™ Said Gandalf from the shadows at the back of the porch. ā€˜Evil things do not come into this valley; but all the same we should not name them. The Lord of the Ring is not Frodo, but the master of the Dark Tower of Mordor, whose power is again stretching out over the world! We are sitting in a fortress. Outside it is getting dark.ā€™
So thatā€™s my theory busted right off the bat! Gandalf straight up tells us the Lord of the Ring is Sauron (ā€˜the master of the Dark Tower of Mordorā€™ which is Sauron).
But I already told you, this is a hair-splitting semantics-based theory! He said Sauron was the Lord of the Ring. Not the Lord of the RingS. Yes, this whole theory revolves around a single letter difference between the title of the series and Gandalfā€™s statement, WHAT OF IT?
But in all seriousness. Tolkien was a linguist. There was no way this choice was not deliberate, not on something so important to the narrative. And there is a very important difference between what he is referring to when he uses ā€˜The Ringā€ singular, and ā€œThe Ringsā€ plural. The Ring that Frodo carried to Mordor has itā€™s singular nature highly emphasized by the language that surrounds it. THE definite article Ring, the ONE Ring. Just the One. Singular Singular Singular.
The Rings (plural) refers to the rings of power which Celebrimbor wrought, with Sauronā€™s help, but Sauron is objectively not the Lord of those rings. Not the three Elven ones at least, which he never touched and only suspects the location of. Without his One Ring he has no power over the Three, and a big problem with him regaining his Ring is that he would gain power over those rings, the ringbearers, and the safe realms that had been wrought with them, basically crippling those with the power to resist him.
Him NOT having the Ring, and therefore NOT having lordship over all the rings, is a pretty major plot point. Like, itā€™s not a reach to say Sauron not having the Ring is what drives the entire story. And he is NOT the Lord of the Rings without it.
And he never gains it, so is the whole series named after Sauronā€™s aspirations, that the main characters are trying to prevent? I mean, from an angle yes. But also no.
Because while Pippin and Gandalfā€™s exchange is the closest we come in the text to seeing the title, let me show you the only place within the covers that ā€œThe Lord of the Ringsā€ is presented, at least in my beat up third hand 70ā€™s edition. It may not be formatted like this in other editions, but I still think it says something about how we are supposed to read the title:
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[Image ID: Masking tape can clearly be seen holding together my poor abused copy of Fellowship, open to the title page. THE LORD OF THE RINGS is written across the top of the page in all caps, directly below it is the Ring Poem, as if The Lord of the Rings is a the title not only of the series but of the poem. /.End ID]
The One Ring is the Lord of the Rings, not Sauron, who is the Lord of the Ring.
ā€œWhat?ā€ Say imaginary naysayers in my head, ā€œHow can a Ring be a Lord? And why does this matter, if Sauron is the Lord of the Ring, doesnā€™t that make him the Lord of the Rings by proxy? Why are you wasting your and my time making an argument about this?ā€
Iā€™m glad you asked imaginary naysayer, let me speak to your first point. How can a ring be a Lord? Well, like any good first time speechwriter, Iā€™ve turned to Miriam Webster, and asked it to define a word we already know, in this case ā€˜lord.ā€™
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[Image ID: Screenshot of the Miriam Webster definition of ā€˜lord.ā€™ The ones that are relevant are 1: One having power and authority over others. 1a: A ruler by hereditary right or preeminence to whom service and obedience are due. And 1f: One that has achieved mastery or that exercises leadership or great power in some area /.End ID]
In the poem, it is the Ring that is spoken of as ruling, not Sauron. Sauron is actually listed in the same position as all the others who receive rings, ā€œThe Dark Lord on his Dark Throneā€ occupying the same place in the sentence structure as the ā€œthe Elven-kings under the skyā€ and ā€œthe Dwarf-lords in their halls of stoneā€ and ā€œMortal Men doomed to die.ā€ It is the One Ring, not Sauron, who rules them all, fulfilling our first definition ā€œA ruler by hereditary right or preeminence.ā€ In this case it would be by right of preeminence, or superiority. The One Ring outclasses the other rings and thus dominates them, binding them to obedience and service. Gandalf calls it ā€œthe Master-Ringā€ when it is first revealed for what it is in Bag-End with the words appearing from the flame.
The Ring has itā€™s own will too. Itā€™s repeatedly stated to be in control of Gollum when Gandalf is first telling us about it. Iā€™m literally so spoiled for quotes about this that I was paralyzed with indecisiveness over what to use but letā€™s keep it simple with this one. Itā€™s from Gandalf explaining why Gollum didnā€™t have the Ring allowing Bilbo to come upon it in the chapter ā€œShadows of the Pastā€ from Fellowship:
ā€˜It was not Gollum, Frodo, but the Ring itself that decided things. The Ring left him.ā€™
So if Sauron is the Lord of the Ring, and the Ring is the Lord of the Rings, isnā€™t he Lord of the Rings by proxy? Yes, when he has the Ring. But also being the ruler of a lord doesnā€™t make the title of that lord your title, if that makes sense. People donā€™t call Aragorn the Prince of Ithilien, thatā€™s Faramirā€™s title, Aragorn is King of the Reunited Kingdoms, he rules Ithilien, sure, but by proxy. Ithilien reports to Faramir who reports to Aragorn (I should be calling him Elessar since Iā€™m talking about him as king, but whatever). If Aragorn lost the ability to contact Faramir or Ithilian, he would still theoretically be king there but he would have no practical control, just like Sauron with the Rings of Power.
Why does this matter? It mostly doesnā€™t. It does not change anything practically in the story at all.
But it matters to me, because it might help change perspective on the antagonist of LotR. Itā€™s the Ring. Sauron is a force in the world, one the Ring is closely allied with, and from whom many of the obstacles come, but the entity that our protagonist is really fighting on every page is the Ring.
If Gandalf were the main character, or Aragorn, or almost anyone else on Middle Earth, Sauron would be the Primary Antagonist. But they are not. Frodo is the Primary Protagonist, and his struggle is NOT against Sauron, it is against the Ring.
If destroying the Ring had not destroyed Sauron, would Frodo have kept fighting in this war? NO! He had his task, and once it was done he was done, even if the world ended afterwards. Everything is driven by the Ring. The threat to the Shire comes from the presence of the Ring, so Frodo takes the Ring to Rivendell. The danger of the Ring is not neutralized by it being brought to Rivendell, so he continues his journey to destroy it once and for all. He doesnā€™t fight Sauron, he fights the Ring. He fights with himself to keep going in spite of the despair it levels on him, the poisonous words it whispers in his ear, the physical toll it takes on his body. He fights Boromir and Sam (not to the extent he does in the movie, but still a bit) and Gollum over the Ring. He negotiates with Faramir over the Ring.
And the Ring is SUCH a more interesting and nuanced villain to struggle with than Sauron. Sauron is representative of a force in the world. He controls events but never appears, because he acts as the source of all evil, itā€™s representation on earth (at least now Melkor is in the Void), but it is far more interesting to watch the effect he has on others than deal directly with a character that is so obviously in the wrong in every way. Making Sauron a physical character in LotR is like making the Devil a present character in basically any piece of media that deals with evil.
Evil at its purest isnā€™t that interesting, because it contains no conflict. Leaving Sauron as an offscreen player leaves us to see characters that are not pure evil struggle with that conflict.
The fascinating thing about the Ring is that it has no power outside of what you give it. But given enough time even the best people, like Frodo, will end up losing themselves to it, as it whispers in your ear with your own voice.
I want to go ballistic when people point to LotR and say it has a one dimensional villain. EVERYONEā€™S OWN VIOLENCE, DESPAIR AND THIRST FOR POWER IS THE VILLAIN OF LORD OF THE RINGS! Brought to the fore by a small unassuming golden trinket which just happens to also be the titular Lord of the Rings.
Honestly ā€œThe Ring is the Villain of LotR change my mindā€ should be its own big long post with lots of quotes and shit, the fact that the Ring is The Lord of the Rings just being a small point in it.
But unless you are a specific type of interested in story structure and stuff none of this is at all meaningful and it really, really doesnā€™t matter, so Iā€™m gonna go.
Thanks for coming with me on this dumb journey.
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lavaparker Ā· 8 months
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insanely important thrift store find
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