lavenderandbugs

[lavenderandbugs]

It’s 12:45 at a party

It’s my first house party

Iv had two drinks and were all standing in the back garden

I’m trying to convince my best friend that my boyfriend is the most supportive person I have in my life

She doesn’t like him

I tell her about how he did everything to get me a dentist appointment Becuase my teeth are crumbling away.

He called the dentist, booked the appointment, stayed with me the entier night before making us have happy memories to take my mind off it , he held my hand the entire way back, he did all of the talking to the dentist explained my autism and fears, he held my hand the entire time she inspected my rotten teeth , he reassured me , gave me time to think, helped me fill out the forms and then took me out on a date straight after and let me have what ever treats I wanted he was kinder to my soul than any person has ever been

Her boyfriend told me

“ you don’t want your boyfriend to be your parent”

I have never had a parent.

Yes I have a mother and farther. However my father found a new family to love and my mother is so wrapped up in her work and mental health that to be neglected was expected

I have made myself every single meal since I was 12

I have booked my own doctors appointments

Applied for my own schools and education

I have been independent not out of choice but out of necessity

And now iv found a man who wants to cook for me

Books the appointments I stuggle with for me

He’s washed my back

He’s cleaned my clothes

He teaches me how to keep things tidy

He teaches me how to be kind he teaches me how to do the washing

He teaches me how to be a good partner and a good person

There was one time I hit my head really hard and started to loose vision and feeling in my right side of my body. I told him and he sent his friend home and came straight over and called the paramedics for me. Even though they said I was fine he slept in my hard uncomfortable bed to make sure I was okay and took me back to his so he could look after me

I phoned my mother the day after it happened. She asked me if I was okay now in which I replied a little better

Then she started to go on at me about how I had left the shop I work at that she managed messy and untidy.

I haven’t felt the love of a parent in a very long time. And finally I have met someone who loves my being my soul and body so much that he’s willing to the job they were supposed to.

So yes

I do want my boyfriend to be my parent Becuase no one else has been.