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speaking of peeing the bed it's been long enough that i can tell this story publicly. in high school i went to a party at some house with no adults, as you sometimes would, and at the end of the night like 10 people all clonked out together in the same bed. fully clothed, one of those teenage moments where you're like wow heehee how rule-breaking, because sure a lot of our parents wouldn't like us sleeping in a bed with a bunch of other teenagers and no adult supervision blah blah. fond memories. anyway.

i'm an extremely light sleeper, so i barely slept, and sometime around 6 am, i woke up to a girl totally panicking, very quietly, because she peed the bed in her sleep. and listen. this wasn't a group of mean kids by any measure. but there's no level of kindness or understanding in the world that will make peeing the bed when you're 17, surrounded by people you only sort of know, a gentle blow.

so i sat up and she was like "oh my god" and I signaled at her to be absolutely silent and I said I'd be right back. And I crawled over everyone and out of the bed like a stupid cat.

and the thing is, by senior year i wasn't getting bullied much anymore. i was generally pretty well liked by my peers, but, if this makes sense, people still didn't always expect very much from me. i was still figuring out how to mask (autistic) and i still often said or did something that made everyone remember i'm weird and they'd just be like "well. that's story for you. i guess." and for the most part i'd become pretty secure in that.

so what i'm saying is i had nothing to lose and this girl had everything to lose.

so i went downstairs and i made tomato soup. and by "made" i mean i put a whole can of tomato soup in a too-small mug and microwaved it until it was lukewarm so as to be convincingly "made" but not so hot to burn someone.

and then i walked back upstairs, and no longer like a cat, i clumsily "attempted" to crawl back into bed, loudly lost my balance, and spilled tomato soup all over the girl and her lap and several other people's laps and heads and the mattress.

everyone woke up confused and anguished and i was like, "oh my god, I'm so sorry. I just got really hungry and it's all i could find."

and everyone immediately accepted with absolutely no further questions that I would go downstairs, make tomato soup at 6 am,and bring it back to bed. everyone just begrudgingly climbed onto the floor and went back to sleep while I put the bedding right into the laundry.

i don't even know this girl's name. i only remembered this story recently because i'm in my hometown for a few months and recently a high school acquaintance said, "hey. do you remember spilling soup on everyone after prom? why did you do that?" and for a moment i genuinely did not and i stared at them completely dumbfounded while the memory loaded and then i started laughing too hard to answer for 2 minutes.

the best part is i can tell this story, and even if it reaches the people who were there, none of them will know which one of them peed the bed. thanks to tomato soup.

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Gen z stared at an 80 year old man who came into my work yesterday WHILE THE FIRE ALARMS WERE BLARING BOTH INSIDE AND OUTSIDE OF THE BUILDING

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as someone who was on deviantart way too much in middleschool my relationship to the furry community is sort of like how athiest people still celebrate christmas.

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does my gay little dance

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Arguments with your mom can never just be about one thing it always has to be about your entire life and her parents and your siblings n shit under the guise of like, somebody needing to do the dishes

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there is no getting over the realm of the elderlings. it haunts you for life

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that’s a good one

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Ace lives au where he and Luffy reunite with Sabo and they spend hours telling Sabo every adventure they've been on one after the other from Alabasta and Sixis, how Ace joined Whitebeard and his journey to Wano, Luffy talks about Thriller Bark and Water 7. Then when they finish they're like "okay your turn what adventures have you been on?" And they're super excited cuz Sabo has always been THE best at telling stories, but then Sabo is like "oh I don't really go on adventures" cuz he doesn't really, and all his missions are classified so he can't exactly tell Luffy and Ace about those, and Luffy and Ace are quiet for a moment, then MORTIFIED cuz what do you MEAN you don't go on adventures, that was your dream??? To go on adventures and write about them??? What the fuck??? And Sabo is like "I mean I'm too busy to do that kind of thing" and they are. So devastated.

Anyway do you ever think about how Sabo’s version of freedom is giving up his freedom to fight for other people's freedom?

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Another thing we don't talk about nearly enough is that Luffy absolutely has some serious tendencies to self-destruct, ESPECIALLY if he's alone. The scene of him repeatedly slamming his head into the ground on Sabaody after Robin disappears is ingrained in my fucking psyche.

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chopper so silly

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I love Luffy's canonical freaky mind/vibe reading ability. He'll do the super intense autism stare at someone and then go "Yep! They're a good one!" like he just got to see a mental tiktok reel of their life play out in his rubbery head. Freakass guy. I love him so much

Even funnier, with regards to this ability, is that he usually either rolls a nat 20 and pulls it off with a flair that makes him seem fucking psychic, or he hits 1 and gets a critical failure so severe that an evil witch could convince him to climb into her soup pot because there's meat in there and he'll just do it, no questions asked.

It's always either one or the other. No in between. Luffy, the man you are ♡

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Just saw a ship that made my skin crawl so bad I couldnt even hope it was a crack ship then scrolled on past bc its non of my business how anyone else plays with their dollies

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At least once a month my best friend texts me to stop reposting sad one piece edits and at least once a month I ignore her

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Saja boys are like,, 100% inspired by bts right?

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