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A chapter by chapter breakdown of how I would have written "The Fowl Twins: Deny All Charges" (aka book 2)

Okay, so no one asked for this, but I got a sudden burst of inspiration. This is a chapter by chapter breakdown on this idea here where I explain what I would have done with the series, since the actual plot just... wasn't it honey. God bless Eoin, he tried but it just wasn't it. (The first book in the trilogy was pretty good though, so that's the same).

Chapter 1

We open with the Twins pottering about (probably about 13 years old by this point), doing their thing as usual. Myles is trying to teach Beckett about The Lower Elements biosystem, since he got inspired to research it when they were down there having a meeting with the Council (under very heavy guard) concerning legal proceeding for them keeping their memories. The plant life of the Lower Elements has been something of a hyper fixation for Myles ever since. Beckett is having non of it, however, and is already mentally somewhere else.

Since he's not getting anywhere, Myles suggests they take the jet out for a spin to get the energy out of Beck's system, and allow Myles to observe one of the projects he and Artemis were working on before he left. (A new strain of sea kelp that thrives in polluted water and is better at filtering said pollution by at least 60% according to Myles (yes, he takes credit for it, since Artemis couldn't possibly figure out how to do it by himself, great big simpletoon as he is)

Once they get out there, they realise there's a fairy ship in distress. They tap into the frequency to find out that it's Lazuli. They help her out (much like the original) and nearly die in the process.

Chapter 2

Their parents freak out, and Fowl Sr manipulates them into compliance with their wrist bump and they send Whistle Blower and Lazuli away. (We are getting rid of the "Fowl and Fairy have been friends throughout our family history" thing. It was a bad idea, and I have no doubt it was supposed to tie into the movie.)

Myles, however, goes missing that night. His bed is empty, he is no where on the island, and Beck is distraught. No one listens to him when he says they should try and find him themselves. His parents say no. Beck doesn't care.

Beck goes into Artemis's bedroom. Since NANNI has been shut down by Fowl Sr, there's no way for him to contact Lazuli. There is, however, one thing that can get a message to the fairies. Artemis's old ring communicator for Holly.

Holly is understandably miffed about being contacted (especially in the middle of the "fairy" night aka mid day for humans), but when Beckett explains the situation, she softens a bit.

Since one of The Councils demands for the Twins was that, in order to keep their memories, all LEP/Section 8 operations involving them would have to be approved by their parents and The Council until they were 18. Meaning Holly can not get involved (officially) until The Fowl Parents and The Council say so.

Lazuli, on the other hand, has been neglecting her mandatory vacation days, and she's been looking after Whistle Blower in her home since he was sent away, under Beck's own request. On top of that, Foaly buts into the call, (because he thought it might be Artemis attempting to contact Holly when he saw the communicators registration come up on his computer, and as much as he hates to admit it, he misses the mud boy) and says he knows where Myles's kidnappers took him, thanks to his Fowl surveillance.

They took him through the Berserker gate.

Chapter 3

That night, Beck sneaks out the house and uses one of the family's boats to get to the main land. He is set to meet up with Lazuli and Whistle Blower at Fowl Manor, along with a few other people, since Holly said she'd make some calls. He reflects on how he's not been back to the Manor since they moved to Villa Eco, and how the Family isn't moving on as they said they were going to. They're running away from all the pain and crime that happened on the estate, rather than address it, as if ignoring it will make things any better.

Beck meets up with Lazuli and Whistle Blower, and who should also be there but Juliet Butler and Mulch Diggums. Juliet was already on her way to Ireland, since it's off season in her wrestling troop, and Mulch is there because Holly said she'd buy him dinner if he went along, and he was getting bored of the P.I. stuff.

They all head to the Berserker gate to find it wide open, with clear evidence of people going through it recently. They start their decent.

~~~Cut to Myles~~~

Myles wakes up from being drugged in a cold damp tunnel (still in his pyjamas), with Gundred of the Hortenknut Seven and Sister Jeronima of ACRONYM. The two women are working together to recover a fairy treasure that has been lost, to use against the fairy Council.

They shove a journal into his hands. It's written partly in ancient Gnomish and partly in an unknown code by one Darach (which means Oak in Irish Gaelic), also known as "Darach the Moron" by history, the brother of Frond the first elfin king. He was a historian and pacifist who believed that humans and fairies could, some day, share the same planet once more. That they belonged together. The way he tried to do that was through collecting the shared myths and legends that fairies and humans had so that it could form one complete culture. He even moved his home and family above ground, trading and conversing openly with humans, to prove it was true, only for the humans to slaughter his wife and children.

They want Myles to translate the codes, which hold the key to the many traps and puzzles held within the tunnels they'll be traveling down (which, yes, is under the berserker gate). If Myles doesn't help them, much like with Darach, they will slaughter his entire family in retribution. (They would have liked to have kidnapped Artemis for the job, since he was the first human to translate Gnomish in centuries, but Myles will have to do.) Myles gets to work with the translations, bound and carried along on the back of an ACRONYM solider.

Chapter 4

The new and improved Regretables (as Beckett declares them) travel in The ACRONYM and Hortenknut Seven's wake, with Beckett catching everyone up in what's happened thus far. Juliet and Mulch reflect how this is just like the good old days with Artemis's schemes.

Lazuli, on the other hand, has been having a time recently. The whole reason she was traveling above ground, and subsequently needed rescuing by the Twins, was because she was looking into traces of her ancestry. Foaly did a trace on the magic in her system, and it seems weirdly close to the magic of the Berserker gate. She kind of blames herself for the Twin's recent grounding, but Beck tells her that's no the case.

When the subject of "How can all this be down here? I thought this gate was supposed to be closed off forever thanks to the berserkers" is brought up by Lazuli, Juliet recalls memories from the berserker who possessed her, saying that, about a century after the wars end, an emergency entrance was put in in the form of a well, and that Darach, the elven man who made the traps and passages, used it when the tunnel was closed off for good because he knew other fairies were frightened of it because of the berserker souls. (Juliet's been using meditation as a way of recalling those memories, since she wanted to learn to understand the soul that possessed her, and thus move on from the trauma of being possessed. We love and stan a queen of mental health)

They come across the first of the gates. It's surrounded by the bodies of ACRONYM soldiers, which are weeks old (from ACRONYM attempting to open the gate without Myles, and finding they couldn't).

Before the Regretables are tiles with particular symbols on them. Lazuli scopes out the room using her wing rig, and mentions that the walls are covered in illustrations from a particular fairy myth, where a boy who went from one end of Ireland to another, bottom to top, to take a message from one king to another in time to stop a war. Using the imagery of the story, they figure out which tiles are okay for them to step on until they reach the other side (Mulch has a close call, since he's out of practise from no longer being a burglar and all)

Chapter 5

Myles and his unfortunate companions reach the second gate, after Myles directs them down the left tunnel after they were prompted with two directions, (just as the soldier set to look after Myles declares he wants to kill him).

The second chamber is a little more complicated than the first, and relies upon a knowledge of the stars. There are holes spread about the entire room in the shape of constellations, and the levers inside the holes of specific constellations have to be pulled at the same time in order for the door to unlock. If not, metal teeth set into each and every one of the holes will take off said arm.

While Sister Jeronima is ordering her troops about, with a lot of loud Italian and hand gestures, Myles attempts to appeal to Gundred, having already known who she is and what the Hortenknut Seven are all about. She talks about how the underground used to be the kingdom of the dwarves. That Haven was their capital. But after the other fairy families went down, and when Frond took over, the dwarves were ostracised for fear they would some day take back control. Now, thanks to her, that fear will be fully realised.

The door is released successfully.

Myles, knowing Beckett is probably on his way, pretends to slip (an easy enough thing when you're already prone to falling over), grabbing and ripping the crests of both a Hortenknut an ACRONYM soldier so Beck knows who he's dealing with, leaving the pieces of material just outside the door as he's grabbed and dragged into the next tunnel.

~~~ Cut to Beckett~~~

Non of the Regrettables know which of the two tunnels they should go down, left or right. So Beckett, Whistle Blower, and Lazuli go down the right tunnel, with Juliet and Mulch going down the left, with short range communicators equipped in case they get into trouble.

Along the way, Beckett admits to Lazuli that he feels totally out of his depth with this adventure, since he's supposed to be the stupid one and Myles is the clever one. Just when Lazuli is about to tell him that's not true, Whistle Blower gets agitated. Poisonous, sentient vines above them are trying to attack the three. They run, with Whistle Blower directing them down a side tunnel he can sense through his heightened troll senses. They escape down the side passage, somewhere the vines cant reach because of a protection rune on the door.

Down this corridor there's a room. It's very ancient and has been abandoned for centuries. Beckett and Lazuli learn from a journal on the desk that this was Darach's room, the self appointed protector of this place.

His journal reveals that it wasn't humans who killed his wife and children, but his brother, King Frond. This was both to remove Darach's offspring as potential rivals to his own children when he died, as he wanted to preserve his own dynasty, but also because some of The People were beginning to listen to Darach about interacting with the humans. And Frond didn't want that, because the moment his people realised that not all humans were to be feared, they may start questioning why they needed to stay underground, or indeed why they needed Frond's protection in the first place. (Kind of null anyway since he's canonically the "last king of the fairies" but whatever)

The journal goes onto explain what Darach is protecting. Frond's crown. A crown imbued with strong Warlock magics to give the king sway over the hearts and minds of his people, essentially acting as an amplified Mesmer. Frond had already, by that time, enacted some of his rules with the crowns power, like how his people were not allowed to enter a human dwelling without permission, further limiting fairies contact with humanity.

Darach, after centuries of placating his brother, pretending he didn't know he was the one to kill his family, stole the crown away and placed it deep in the tunnels, so the fairies were no longer forced to obey Frond against their will. Concluding that, logically and morally, no one deserved that power in the first place, and nobody should want it.

And finally, the journal mentions Darach's final revenge over his brother. Falling in love with an Atlantean pixie woman who had been contracted to supply him with paper and squid ink for his various writings. And together, they had had a child. He would never reveal the child's existence, because he feared that if he did Frond and his descendants would hunt his family down again. He hoped, however, that some day his descendants would protect both The People and Humans, just as he had.

Chapter 6

Beckett, Lazuli, and Whistle Blower make it back to the Star chamber by painting the protecting rune from the door on a barrel lid and running back down the tunnel with the symbol held above them so the plants can't get them.

Juliet presents them with the material Myles left behind. They all conclude that ACRONYM is behind it, but non of them can figure out what the second crest is. Mulch does, however, get a strange look about his face and gets oddly serious.

Juliet is the one to realise the room is a star chart, since Butler used to take her and Artemis to go star gazing when they were kids. Mulch and Lazuli are able to figure out the story this room is based off between them, since one of the constellations is from a specific dwarven story called "The Stink Worm with many heads", talking about said constellation. (The constellation which we would recognise as Serpens).

They unlock the door and head down the tunnel. About half way down, they hear Myles arguing with someone (what else is new?).

Beckett and the others rush down the hall just as the door to the third tunnel opens. A fire fight ensues. Juliet gives them all quick instruction. Lazuli and her will draw ACRONYM's fire, being the most experienced fighters. Mulch will be sent up to the weird hamster wheel set above them which a couple of ACRONYM soldiers are currently walking around to open the gate. Beckett's job is to get to Myles. (Butler would be so proud. His little sister all grown up).

They split. Lazuli and Juliet take the fight to the soldiers, Lazuli attacking from the air, Juliet from the ground. Mulch gets up high and gets ready to take out the soldiers with a few bursts of dwarf gas. Beckett decided to be sneaky, and creep around the sides of the hall while the chaos is raging. He's just about to grab Myles, when Gundred looks up and spots Mulch.

Or should I say her brother.

Dun dun DU~N!

Instead of tears or hugs, Gundred throws a grenade at the wheel where Mulch is perched.

The explosion is so sudden Sister Jeronima, who is fighting against Juliet, manages to stab her in the side with her knife, before turning and running with her men into the next tunnel. Myles and Beckett try to reach for each other but they can't. Instead, Myles throws Darach's journal at Beck, with Gundred shooting the young man with a neutrino just as the doors close, knocking him out.

Chapter 7

Beckett wakes up some time later, and he is distraught. He was so close to getting his brother back and he couldn't do it. Lazuli and Juliet (who Lazuli healed with one of the experimental magic packs that No 1's been developing) try to console him, but Beckett's not listening. Out of anger, he grabs Mulch by the collar and demand to know about Gundred, and how she knows him.

Mulch reveals that he was born into the Hortenknut Seven, but left. He didn't want to live the life they wanted for him, being driven every day by revenge and honour. He wanted to live his life for himself, something his sister, Gundred, saw as a betrayal. So he left and used the thieving tools they had provided him with to begin his life of crime.

Satisfied, Beck apologises and sets him down.

All hope seems lost. The hamster wheel needed to open the gate is completely destroyed, and they don't even know how to make it work even if it was intact.

Beckett takes out the Journal, and skims through it, going more by the pictures than anything. He finds the story they need. A Centaur story called "The Sun King Padarock" where the fairy's hold a competition to see who should get the honour of becoming ruler of the Sun and pull it around the earth for the rest of time. They have a racing tournament, a swimming tournament, and an archery tournament to decide, declaring that the person with the most points over all is the winner. The Dwarves won the race, the pixies the swimming, and the elves the archery. Padarock the centaur, however, came in second place in each of these contests, and therefor had the most points out of everyone else, becoming the King of the Sun.

To the side of them there are a set of pullies, connected to the mechanism over head. Each of these pullies has the symbol of one of the fairy races. Beckett instructs Juliet, Mulch, and Lazuli to go over and pull on the corresponding symbols for the Dwarves, Pixies, and Elves (Whistle Blower has to go help Lazuli with her's, since she doesn't weight enough to pull it all the way down herself).

High above them, Beckett spots a big metal sun leaver. Spinning the wheel when it was intact would have caused the sun/leaver to move across the sky and open the door. So Beck climbs up and, once his friends start pulling their leavers, pushes the sun across the sky.

The doors start opening. Beckett orders the others to get through. Unfortunately, since the mechanism is so old, and has gone through a lot of strain recently, it starts literally falling apart and Beck narrowly misses being squished by a falling rock.

Lazuli flies back into the room and gets Beck to jump into her arms. He does, and they fly back through the door as it closes.

Chapter 8

They rush down the corridor, but stop at the entrance of the final chamber to plan their attack.

Myles is not having a good time. Both Sister Jeronima and Gundred are threatening to kill him for losing the book, saying he either figures out the final puzzle or they go find The Regrettables and kill them, and if he still can't figure it out, kill him as well. Myles is genuinely panicking, because there's seemingly nothing for him to figure out. No pictures, no codes, no mechanisms. The room is a dead end, seemingly to trap those looking for the crown and starve them to death as retribution. The room is filled with lower elements flowers that grow from the walls, but nothing else.

When Myles makes one too many snide comments, Jeronima raises her gun to kill him.

Beckett jumps out, saying he knows how the puzzle is solved. Everyone thinks that's ridiculous, since he's the stupid one, but he does... partly.

Everyone is taken to the sides, while Beckett sets to work. He recalls from Myles's lecture at the very beginning of the book that there was a specific species of flower that grew underground that came in two colours. Purple and yellow. The yellow one was used as invisible ink in the days of the fairy monarchy. Only able to become visible when sprinkled with the purple one's pollen.

He finds the purple flower in question, and douses the very last page of the book with the pollen. On the page is a rune designed for communication with the dead.

Before them rises the spirit of Darach, and intelligent but sad looking elfin man. He asks them why they have come, and both Sister Jeronima and Gundred jump in with their own agendas. Jeronima wants to expose the fairies to the humans and then enslave them, becoming their queen, while Gundred wants for the fairies to rise up and overtake both The Council, and the human world (there's "Truth" charm on the door, so they have to be honest).

Darach is very disappointed. All his life, he just wanted humans and fairies to live in peace, but they're as bad now as they were a thousand years ago.

Gundred demands to know what the final puzzle is, and the answer is Darach himself. If any of them want to attain the crown they have to go through him. They have to convince him that they are worth of such a dangerous item.

This enrages Jeronima. Shots are fired. Mulch tackles Gundred to the floor, taking a bullet meant for her.

This pushes Darach over the edge. His soul is suddenly thrust into total and utter despair, and when one of the soldiers decides its a good idea to try and attack the ghost, Darach viciously retaliates, attacking both the humans and fairies, flinging them about the room using the flowers that grow from the wall.

Chapter 9

Beckett and Myles both think their hardest about what to do. Everyone is fighting, there are no weapons that work against Darach, and no matter what they do they'll still be trapped in that dead end room.

Then Beckett remembers Darach's second journal.

He stands up and declares that he doesn't want the crown and that no one should.

Darach stops. The room goes quiet.

Beckett repeats himself. That no one should have the crown, and no one should want it. To do so would be to take away complete free will and agency from the fairy people, and that they deserved that much. After a bit of a heart to heart, Darach pulls back the plants to reveal the crown tangled inside. He's about to hand it over to Beckett, when the roof to the room explodes.

Sister Jeronima grabs at the crown and is taken up via helicopter. Her people had been tracking her position through the tunnels, and had found that this room was one of the closest to the surface, so it wasn't difficult to blow it up.

Myles and Beckett take hold of the rope and go after her. They scale to the top (well, Beckett scales to the top. Myles gets on his back and is taken to the top). Jeronima is losing what's left of her mind, declaring that she is the queen and that nothing will get in her way.

You've guessed it people. Opal Koboi has been controlling Sister Jeronima this whole time!

During ACRONYM's first expedition down into the tunnels, most of her squad had died, and Jeronima had almost followed. But the ghost of Opal Koboi had possessed her, and concocted this scheme to get the crown, something Opal wasn't able to do in her ghostly form. The only problem was Opal was down a few IQ points after having been a ghost for so long, so she needed someone else to solve the puzzles.

The helicopter crashes.

Chapter 10

Everyone gets out of the helicopter relatively unscathed, apart from Beckett breaking an arm protecting Myles, who has a mild concussion.

Opal/Jeronima is very close to getting the crown for herself. She reaches down, and is about to place the crown on her head when Beckett stands up and demands to know how it feels to get bested by the dumb one, twice.

Opal/Jeronima is confused, until she remembers who Beckett is and that his body, controlled by a berserker, killed her the first time.

Beckett laughs in her face, saying people could forgive her for being bested by Artemis or Myles. They're bonified geniuses. Him? Well he's just Beckett. He's the one who talks to animals, and loses things, and forgets to pay attention most of the time. And yet he was smart enough to get through all the puzzles, the puzzles Opal herself was too stupid to understand and had to kidnap someone to do it for her. He was smart enough to earn the right to wear that crown honestly, simply by going the wrong direction when presented with two tunnels, and empathising with a man who had lost everything in life, and yet still wanted to see the best in humanity because that's who he is. The best of humanity.

While he talks, Beckett gets closer and closer to Opal/Jeronima, as she gets more and more angry until he is standing right in front of her and smiles because there's still one thing she's forgotten to do. Learn. From. Her. Past.

He punches Opal/Jeronima in her stomach and snatches the crown away, throwing it to Lazuli who is flying overhead. Opal/Jeronima is so startled she turns and runs away, only to go tumbling down into the sea (no, she is not recovered later. This ain't over people).

Beckett and Lazuli help Myles off the ground, and they head into the manor, in search of the medical supplies they know are still kept inside, to be greeted by a teary eyed Darach who is glad to see his descendants (aka Lazuli) have fulfilled his wish to protect both The People and humanity. His soul is released and he moves on to the other side.

Chapter 11

Mulch survives his bullet wound, and reconciles with his sister, who declares the Horteknut mission over, and that they should find better more productive ways of challenging the Council.

Juliet locks all the ACRONYM soldiers in the basement and makes sure everyone has tea like the queen she is.

The Fowl parents head over to the house and are desperate to make sure their children are okay. They're all healed up, and have called up Artemis on Mars to talk out their experiences. They are, however, not happy with their parents thanks to the whole "manipulation for your own good" (yes Artemis Jr pulls the "I am very disappointed with the both of you" on his parents. It's great). The siblings have a written list of demands going forward, including a quota for how many days out of the year the Fowl parents must stay home with their children, at least, and a demand that they both go to therapy (something both Fowl parents have been avoiding). The parents agree.

The story ends with Myles and Beckett talking things out on the balcony, and with Myles telling his brother that he's never thought of him as the dumb one, and that he is very proud to call him his brother.

It's cute. The end (and God it's 4:30 AM. I have been writing for hours!)

(hey @tarchey if you like this, what do you think about my latest creation?)

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