laylauganda

[laylauganda]

Hanahaki disease III.

The last POV remains, can they later deal with the disease.. or will they let it consume them?

Lada’s POV

My story is a bit different, like every single one here. It started when i was a little kid.

“Will you be my friend, please?” Said 8 years old chan shyly, looking for friends.

“i guess we can! Hey! I am Lada, i looove cats”that’s how it started, so simple. None of us knew it would start such a strong friendship.

Best friends since little, that was me and him. The guy who has dimples since he was a baby. He took care of me, he was a little bit older than me and protected me like a knight protects princess.

little chan holding a wooden sword- a stick with a rock glued on it with a little imagination. He fought dragons and probably all the guys who looked in my direction, letting me hold his arm when we walked our way home while saying

“I’ll protect you, forever!”

So many memories with him. Full of sleepovers. “When we turn 30 and we are going to be still single. We’ll marry eachother, yeah?” 10 years old Chan said and i nodded. Hoping to be single ever since.

Chan was 11 when we were walking outside in rain, talking about what magic potion from random flowers to make when we saw a little kitty. Chan kneeled down and took the cat in his tiny hands.

“We gotta help it!, it must be cold. Shhh-“ chan said as he put the kitty under his chin and tried to calm it down.

“Hurry! I can make her a little bed in my garage!” I suggested and chan nodded and raised his finger smartly.

“It might be a boy too so.. let’s call it it” he said with a proud smirk and i apologized as we both giggled, running home with the kitty.

I made it a bed out of cardboard and old clothes and chan used to bring it food everyday. We put the kitty to a family who can take care of it fully.

When chan was 13, he had to leave to country for 5 months to visit his family from afar. One day i looked in the mail and there was a letter. A letter from Chan where he begged me not to forget about our deal, that we will make our dreams come true together.

I have that letter hidden, it actually means a lot.

Or when i was sick, i had an everyday visitor, chan. He came to my house with a soup.

“If you eat this soup.. Boom! Illness gone!” he cheekily said. He told me stories to make me laugh and he hugged me even tho i was smelly and sick, but he didn’t care. Once he brought a pressed flower he made, when he found a red little flower and it reminded him of me.

I realised how i miss chan everytime he’s not with me. Because the little channie would make a way to spend time with me all the time.

One of the strongest memory was when we were on a trip when he was 17. We hiked so much that we both got so tired that we ended up on top of a mountain where the sunrise was beautiful. The orange, red and yellow mixing together that we both got fascinated.

I was sitting down and chan quickly put his hoodie on the ground so i wouldn’t be dirty and he put his arms around me, my head on his shoulder.

“Y’know” chan said and i looked up at him. “This is the prettiest moment of my life. Like- everything about this is perfect.” he said as i looked at the sunrise and he quietly watched me.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” i said.

“So much” he said with a big smile, dimples showing. Admiring the girl resting on his shoulder.

Not falling in love with him was hard, he was a well raised boy. A true gentleman. And a little dreamer, who wished to make music.

he sang me thousand of bruno mars’s songs and i loved it, cause he was perfect in my eyes. But chan never thought that about himself.

I think we were like 14 when he first opened up to me, that’s like six years so.. it takes him time to trust people and i got the privilige. Everytime he feels sad, i come there to help him, to cuddle him to sleep when he fights insomnia.

He was there for me too, he helped me so much too. We went through so many years together and now..

He’s simple but complicated, sometimes when he puts all of the people he knows before himself, it hurts.

Chan entered the school music band with his friend Han, who i also got to know from sushi’s random talking about a handsome and funny guy in class. I used to go on the band practices they had to support them and root for them. Mainly for chan.

Ever since he got into the band, he’s been too much focused on it and we ended up fighting over his well being after i found him not sleeping for three days because he was writing a song:

“Why do you care so much? You got even more shit going on, please let me finish this.” Chan says, he’s clearly trying to stay calm and not to raise his voice at me.

“Why do i care so much? Chris, you are slowly dying inside. I care about you more than ordinary friend. Let me help you too!” I say. Did i say too much? Tears in my eyes rolling down and i turn away from him.

“Come here” his voice softens as his tired body sits on the couch and he wraps his arms around my waist. “You are my best friend, i know.”

best friend. a word haunting me always.

Chan was slowly giving me less attention, focusing on the band. Not replying and not writing first. He took me as a sure thing, he just wasn’t there because of trying to be good enough for so many people. I would wait for him tho. Even if it takes forever.

One day a new girl entered the band, she was everything i wasn’t. Short, black short hair, big tits and all natural. I hated her and i didn’t know why. Her name was Anna (i have a target)

Anna this Anna that.. chan spent hours with her, clicking with her instantly. Are you gonna replace me with someone you know few weeks?

Chan was getting distant, it was serious this time. I decided to visit his practice. Han greeted me with a wave and i waved back, looking for chan.

He came from the backstage with her, laughing and giggling. Get the fuck away from him

Chan saw me and he rushed down the few stairs and came to hug me.

“Heyy! Gonna watch us today, huh?” He said and i nodded.

“I am your biggest fan, remember?” I said and he giggled. I missed this.

“Oh yeah? Prove it” he said teasingly as he rushed back to get to his spot.

After two hours they were done and i overthinked. What if she’s his type? What if-

Just as he knew. “Wanna go watch our concert tomorrow?” Chan said, walking with me to my car with guitar on his back.

“Of course, it’s a big thing for you.” I smiled at him and he smiled back.

“I missed you.” i spit out, unlocking my car.

“missed you too” chan says back.

Did you really?

The concert day.

I sat in the first row, ready more than ever. It was a small concert but i was here for it. Chan was enjoying the music and he was smiling, hyping up everyone. Smirking at me here and then.

At the end of the concert, the girl was hugging him, giggling with him and she was all over him. He looked down at her with a bright smile and my chest started closing up.

*Sting*

*cough*

What is this?

I arrive home, leaving as soon as possible. Not even saying anything to chan and dropping to my bed. Fuck yourself today. I love you, that should be me

*cough*

A rose petal is laying in my bed.

[laylauganda]

Part II

Hanahaki disease.

Naty, Lada and Sushi haven’t met much, they had their own problems and nobody wanted to be a burden. They didn’t know that all three of them got the same problem. Let’s reveal another one, shall we?

Naty’s POV

it was a normal day but there was a random school concert we could go to and I usually don’t really go there, why would i?

Maybe, just maybe it was the poster next to my locker. Something caught my eye, more like someone caught my eye..

“Do you know her name? By any chance?” I asked my friend in class as i showed her a photo of the poster, pointing to that one girl who caught my attention.

“Yeah it’s Jihyo, i heard she’s really good at dancing and singing. She’s probably at the dancing club.. why?” the girl asked, i looked away shyly.

“Oh nothing, i..” i lost words, these girls wouldn’t get it.

“You’re not… into girls… right?” The girl almost whispered, almost like she was embarrassed to say it loudly.

i shake my head quickly, looking away from her. I don’t want them to judge me, keep it in.

i went to use the toilet, walking by the podium where school concerts usually are at.

“Alright guys, we got it! Group hug!” I heard a pretty voice scream supportingly, i looked in the gap between the door and i saw the girl from the poster hugging all the girls there. Picking up one little girl up to the air and spinning in circle as a wave of happy giggles fills the room.

what was her name? Jihyo?

“the concert starts in 10 minutes, young lady” a voice said, i turned around to find the school janitor. His name was Larry and he was pretty much chill.. he just looked well, dead.

10 minutes goes by quickly as i sit in the third row, not to be too obvious, as if that would help.

People around me sit down, the room filling up quickly and i can’t even hear my own thoughts through these voices. Oh, there she is

The so called jihyo quickly hopps in the middle of the stage with a microphone, humming into it playfully to quiet people down. A bright smile on her face. Have i seen a prettier smile? I feel like faintin-

“Attention please!” Jihyo screams with a sweet voice, quieting everyone down. She lookes excitedly over the filled seats and she smiles.

“Our dancing club prepared a performance for you! It’s about hope, you should never lose hope. Our dancing club is here for everyone by the way, feel free to join us!” Jihyo says. The hope? Explains the white dress she has on.

jihyo turns around, showing a white bow in her hair as she stands in the middle of the podium and she tilts her head to look back and snaps her fingers. Lights off.

A sound almost sounding like a hang out with a loved one on a special place where you can sit and talk all night.. like a summer night sky.

The lights quickly turns on and all the dancers are on the stage, quietly dancing and moving like feathers. The performance holds a special story. Jihyo fell down and everyone gasped and she had a pleading face. Every dancer came running to her only to pick her up and raise her to the air where she shined. Her beauty shined. it was all part of the choreography.

i haven’t seen anyone so pretty. I wanna damce with her too.

there was a thing about jihyo dancing, well she almost became the movements and she let them almost control her, and the enjoyment on her fave with special acting skills with the story. Chef’s kiss.

I analyzed the performance, maybe focusing on her too much. Suddenly an eye contact with her was made and she… looked like she wanted to help me too. Or did the music and this choreography do it? She almost looked at me like she hypnotized me.

After the concert the girl inspired me, i wanna dance like her and i wanna be close to her. Well, i can’t lose anything for a try, right?

I read the instructions to actually join the club. ”wanna join us?”

i jump and quickly join my head. A hand touched my shoulder.

“I’m sorry for scaring you. I am Jihyo!” She smiled brightly, giving me a handshake.

“I am Naty, nice to meet you. How do i join?” i look shyly down and she tilts her head playfully.

“Why nervous, huh? I’ll help you, come!” She took my hand and ran to the podium. I have never been closer to a heartattack.

she sat on the podium, taking some lists of paper in her hands with a pen in her mouth.

“L-me h-p” she mumbled and i raised my eyebrows, what is this girl saying

Jihyo spit out the pen from her mouth with a chuckle. “Let me help! Sorry! I am kind of a leader here so.. i need to just write your name down and you signing on this paper. Easy peasy!” Jihyo said. Is this girl a magnet to the sweetest energy? I think she stole it from everyone

I crouch to bring her the pen she threw away and she giggled. I told her my name and signed down.

“We usually practice here on the podium, and we practice three times a week but you only need to come here two times a week, the one time is more voluntarily.” She smiled

“And we dance so many styles, this was just full of feelings” she said, almost dissolving into the air in my eyes. Calm down Naty, it’s just a girl.

“Monday, wednesday, friday” jihyo says and i nod.

Tomorrow? Do i shit myself now?

I said goodbye to jihyo, she gave me a small hug. Why am i so happy?

The problem was nobody knew i was gay, and people here were judgy as fuck.

Next day: wednesday

I came to school happily, nervous but happy. I can watch her for hours! Wait.. does that make me a creep?

After classes full of making fake scenarious, i finally changed into some baggy sweats and shirt, entering the practice room/podium.

The dancers were already dancing, i was lost. Where do i go? Thankfully Jihyo saw me.

“Hey Naty! Come here!” Jihyo screamed as he waved at me and i hopped on the podium.

Jihyo caressed my back and looked at the others.

“This is Naty, she’s a new dancer here and i would like for all of us to let her feel welcomed here, okay? What do we do when there’s a new member?” Jihyo smiled excitedly, pushing me gently into the girls as they all picked me up and spinned me while screaming welcomings, it was not weird as it might sound. It was refreshing, watching her look at them like she raised them.

The lesson started and Jihyo showed us the choreography.

“Our coach is not here and she takes it all on herself, she’s not our actual coach.” A girl next to me says while closely watching the steps Jihyo shows us.

“Really? She is so good tho” i say, following jihyo’s moves as jihyo claps happily while watching all of us learn quickly.

“She is, she doesn’t even get paid for this. She loves this job even tho it’s more like a hobby she spent her life on”. The girl says, i smile at Jihyo. She’s strong

after a while there goes nothing, the new steps get too hard to learn and i get stuck. Helplessly watching everyone learn quickly, Jihyo noticed and she calls another girl to show the steps to others as she walks towards me to help me.

“Wanna help?” Jihyo asks with a sweet smile, i shyly nod. Shitting myself.

Jihyo helped me a lot, i was scared to fuck it up even more tho. Last thing i wanted was to get embarrassed but she was so kind. After the practice was over, she gave me a highfive and smirked at me. Patting my back while adding “good job"

The other practice was okay, few fuck ups but okay. After the weekend it was monday and that meant. Hours with her.

I entered the practice room and greeted her with a smile, this choreography was a hip hop one and jihyo was just as talented in hip hop than in any other dance style.

If there only wasn’t a move only a lucifer could make up. I felt like a homeless man, lost like a traveller in a dessert. I look around me and everyone was dancing correctly, jumping pver their legs like it was nothing.

I looked at jihyo and she was already looking at me with a chuckle, i playfully rolled my eyes and she came to me.

“You look lost, let me explain it to you later. After the practice?” Jihyo asked with a smile and i nodded. Girl i got so much time for you, i am not budy anymore

After the training everyone left and jihyo stepped infront of me. Looking in the mirror in the back of the podium, perfect for practices.

“Well well well, let me explain everything slowly, okay?” Jihyo said. Slowly showing me the move and i just couldn’t figure it out, raging and angrily kicking my shoe off my foot.

Jihyo giggles and brings me the shoes.

“Sweetie, you gotta calm down. Okay? Look me in the eyes” jihyo took my shoulders and helped me do the move while looking in her eyes, a way to focus on the front of your body.

After what felt like hours i finally did it and Jihyo didn’t get mad this whole time. The attention from her and her touch. She’s just a friend, right? Not even that.. a dance trainee.

After few more trainings we got a performance. I was nervous as fuck. Not being able to sleep.

I put the special clothes on to perform and i looked in the mirror, Jihyo coming up to me to carress my lower back. I shiver at her touch.

“Look at you. You are gonna kill it today” Jihyo said while watching me in the mirror.

“What if i mess it up? I don’t want to-“ i say but Jihyo interrupts.

“No, sweetie- don’t let these get to your head” Jihyo looks at me and points at my head.

“You got this. I got you, you are not alone there.” Jihyo says with a proud smile.

why is she so perfect? She’s just a girl. She can’t see me differently.

The dance performance ended nicely, no mistakes and i jumped up and down. Happy. I left the podium and went to the back stage. Seeing Jihyo hug a girl and carress her hair.

“You did so great, baby. I am so proud of you” Jihyo said.

What the? That should be me. I knew she’s not gonna touch me like that. I can’t watch her do this. This is not a friendly mindset anymore

*sting*

What is this? I?

I run to the changing room and i cough.

Leaving a rose petal in my hands.

[laylauganda]

Hanahaki disease.

For my two best friends. Hanahaki disease is a strong metaphor for untold and hidden feelings, you keep inside you until the rose petals inside you start to smother you and slowly kill you. In this story, the disease is more like a legend and you could never expect to actually get it.

There are gonna be POV’s for each one of us. Enjoy, i love you girls♡

School is draining and absolutely tiring. One thing’s good, being able to be with them.

The three girls named Lada, Sushi- a nickname she has for so long and Naty. Such a good friends, knowing each other since elementary school, always promising not to leave each other’s side. They would tell each other everything, right?

To better understand the story, there has to be POV’s.

Sushi’s POV:

I had a reason to go to school, well.. was it dumb

Of course my friend group was awesome but more people started adding in and I missed my big three. Me, Lada and Naty were divided into different classes and in my class..

there was a boy

Not just any boy, the guy who made me laugh my ass off from afar and who I absolutely adored. His name was Han and was he beautiful.. the big boba eyes and his chaotic behaviour was something everyone would say makes him gorgeous, right? The problem is that I never really talked to him, he’s popular in boy’s side of the classroom and he probably can’t even talk to women..

Today it was biology and we had to make pairs for our project, well that’s what i thought

“So, students! I am gonna make the pairs for you!” Said the teacher and i sighed.

‘is she fucking me? I was planning to be with my friend’ i thought in my head.

i looked around the class, worried.

“Okay! You are gonna get paper with a number, 1-15. If you match a number, that means you’re in a pair for the project!” the teacher said

i forgot to mention, it’s a project you can’t do in classes but in your free time, just great.

the teacher started walking from desk to desk, handing papers. “It better be someone smart, miss. I am a busy man” he said, obviously the one speaking was Han. He always seemed to try make everyone laugh.

i got the paper and i unfolded it. four.. okay, that is my lucky number after all.

i looked around the classroom, seeing pair of hands flash up. “Who’s my four!?”

are you kidding me? Out of all of them I GOT THE MOST HANDSOME AND ANTI-WOMEN GUY?

he stood there with proud nod and smirk, Han’s eyes quickly searching for his match.

I raise my hands slowly. “me?” I say with more like quiet voice. Han’s boba eyes shoot in my direction, smirk on his face. He got up from his desk, making his way to mine until-

“Ehm.. sit down everyone! You will talk about your project after class!” the teacher said. she really pisses me off these days

I look at Han with apologetic eyes and the teacher turns away from us. he sticks his tongue playfully at the teacher and i giggle quietly.Han proudly smiles to himself, probably because he made a girl laugh.

after class i pack my things

tap tap.. i feel fingers tapping my shoulder. I quickly look up with a shocked gasp. Oh.. it’s him

“hey! I am han and I heard we got the project together” han says with a bright smile. “you’re…”

“my name is Sushi.. a nickname for Sofie” i say. Han nods and pulls out his hands to get a handshake with me.

“okay, Sushi it is…” Han says as he nervously looks around.

“Should we exchange numbers? We can talk about the project and stuff” i say to save the situation and Han nods, handing me his phone whole i hand him mine.

me and Han decided to meet on Saturday at my place. Exact time was 4pm, not too late and not too early. Since we exchanged numbers, han seems like he doesn’t take it too seriosly. It would be okay if this wasn’t the project making half of our final grade.

4:30 PM… where is he? Should i text him?

5 PM.. is he okay? Where the fuck is-

“I’m at your door” a text message pops up. After an hour? Too early.

i open the door for him. he smiles at me and waved a little as he gets in my house. Weird.

“Where can i sit?” he asks and i point at the sofa. “Here, please make yourself at home” i say.

“You know, you could be on time the next time” i say, still confused. Han nods and looks down.

“Yeah.. sorry, i had some things that needed to be taken care of” he says. “Do you have plans for this project?” He adds.

i nod and show him my ideas, he doesn’t really care about the project but.. atleast he’s funny.

“This one looks like weed, seriosly!” han says with a giggle. i die with laughter.

“WHAT?” I say with loud chuckles, it was a picture of a cell that has chlorophyll inside.

the night was long, full of his stupid jokes i for some reason love so much. Han joined me in actually working on that project, occasionaly stealing my ipad so he can write it in himself, ending up with a fight over my own device.

i catched myself looking at him with glued eyes. How can such an autistic boy be so attractive and cute?

meetings happened and after two more, next was at his place, next week. The week i was supposed to meet my friends. I decided to finish the project already, even though these meetings are gonna be something i will miss so much.

“What’s up, sexy. Whatcha doing here?” han says while smirking and blowing me a kiss, him ending up laughing at his own joke on the floor.

we eventually sit in his bed, laughing more than working.

“lock in, yeah?” Han says, compressing a laugh, slightly looking in my direction and bursting out with laughter.

“CAN YOU STOP?” I say, trying not to pee my pants as he keeps adding the jokes up.

“Then you no talking now” han says and he covers my mouth with his palm, signalling to be quiet, i roll my eyes. He was the yapping one this whole time, WDYM?

the meeting today was different.. atleast for me. Ifelt more close, clicking with the same stupid humour. But han.. was complicated. He was a mood maker for sure, but.. does he even care?

He was really nice, yes but also.. he never talks about his inner thoughts. I wonder if he would even see me as a friend.

“I think this is enough!” han says happily, looking at the project we made.

“See? It wasn’t that big of a pain in the ass” i say with raised eyebrows, happy he actually helped a lot.

“I think the every five minutes burst outs were the key. and that’s my pleasure, don’t thank me!” Han proudly says and pats my head.

“I wasn’t planning to but-“ i chuckle as han gasps with a fake upset sound. Shaking his head in disbelief.

It became a comfortable silence, something so soothing I could fall asleep. I heard Han’ breathing and maybe even birds outside, but that was possibly my imagination making me remember this moment forever. I got the balls to speak.

“Is this the last time we actually hang out together?” I asked, leaning onto his shoulder. Feeling han’s hand brush my back but quickly put away confused me.

“I- i would want to hang out later too… we can, for sure” han says. Han thinks she’s a great friend and a gorgeous one too.

After a few minutes, i decided to go home. Driving from Han’s house to mine. Noticing a notebook i accidentaly took away from him. I’ll give it back later

Next day in school:

the day was starting good and i was excited more than ever. It was for him of course. That’s what friends feel like.

I sat down in my seat, Han greeting me with a bright smile and wave. The class started and the day went well.

Before the last class, Han asked me if i wanted to just hang out while he worked on some texts. Han had a little band at the school with his friends. Of course i couldn’t say no. The class was torture, maths. After surviving the killingly slowly ticking 45 minutes Han sat next to me.

After few minutes i spoke up. “You can sing right?” I smirked at him.

“I am a god at singing, wanna hear?” He asked and i nodded. Hearing him sing almost made my sob. He had such a beautiful voice. I guess i’d never change my mind about Han being talented.

suddenly a girl was standing in the doorway. Clapping loudly. “Wow! Han, you have such a nice voice!” the girl says. what does she want?

“Thank you, i have an inspo for lyrics loss but i guess singing stayed with me today” han said proudly with a smirk.

“How about i’ll be your inspo?” The girls says with a almost annoying giggle, god i hate these.

“Careful, i can’t decline these offers!” Han says jokingly.

why doesn’t he talk to me like that? Why do i even care right? He’s just a friend. Nothing else. Just Han.

“You okay? You look pretty bored” han asks. I look at him with straight face.

you say that after smiling like an idiot at that girl

“Everything’s fine, i just wish you could actually focus on work instead of other things” i said, immediately regretting it.

“Was this something against me?” Han says carefully.

yes, idiot.

“Not at all.. why would it? I gotta get home early today” i say quickly, leaving him confused.

why would he look at her like that? He would never say anything like this to me neither look at me like that.

I arrive home, laying in my bed.

is he not just a.. friend to me?

*Cough, cough*

i decide to drink some water to ease up.

Two weeks later:

i was laying in my bed again, thinking about Han.

He wouldn’t want me like that, he wouldn’t get it

*cough, cough*.. this coughing is getting a bit of annoying. am i sick or something?

i cough again, opening my eyes slowly to see two rose petals in my hand.

what the fuck?