lazarus-lazuli

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getting murdered but i can’t even afford the name brand stuff so im getting snawed in half and scrabbed to death and shit

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first day as a small-town sherif and you discover that some of the convicts you're transporting managed to escape in the night and since the penalty for letting prisoners escape is death, and the penalty for being late because you were looking for escaped prisoners is also death, you decide to free ALL of them and go hide out in the wilderness for a bit, except the convicts are super grateful so they make you their leader and it turns out they're decent guys who were exploited by a tyrannical government, so long story short you're crowd-sourcing for a peasant uprising and would anyone like to chip in?

3650th day and due to a series of unforeseen events you are now the emperor and founder of the han dynasty.

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sound off everyone what’s the worst texture. just in anything. for me it’s ground beef not even a question

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[guy experiencing the first stage of grief voice] damn i got through the five stages of grief pretty quickly 😄

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i genuinely dont know if theres a better feeling out there than finding a new album and its good

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You just KNOW they talking about anime.

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does anyone have your ass hurt done

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mostquito on my monitor bastard im typing at you

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Too many people will pass around "always trust your gut!" and "your intuition never lies" content when actually your "intuition" isn't immune to either propaganda, bigotry or trauma reactions. Which is important to be aware of actually

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Indigenous peoples of the great plains should've never told white people about tornadoes. "I don't know man that shit never happened before you showed up"

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I understand some of you are 19 but that is not an old man, he's 32.

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drivers ed is like:

what should you do while driving?

a) text on your phone

b) look at the road

c) cocaine

d) hit children with your car on purpose

[lazarus-lazuli]

having a smart woman follow you back is so scary bc it’s like what if she finds out that im stupid