lazybones-purple-phantom-blog - Tumblr blog

[lazybones-purple-phantom-blog]

Anything that is more than 62 miles away from me is further away from me than space is.

[lazybones-purple-phantom-blog]

Give a spider a fly, it eats for a day. Teach a spider to fly and suddenly you’re Satan.

[lazybones-purple-phantom-blog]

Everytime I play a video game I care more about the character’s wellbeing than my own.

[lazybones-purple-phantom-blog]

If companies paid me to view their ads, I would be much more apt to buy their products

[lazybones-purple-phantom-blog]

Rap diss tracks are essentially just two grown men writing poems about eachother.

[lazybones-purple-phantom-blog]

If I hear a car alarm I get annoyed, not concerned if a car is being stolen.

[lazybones-purple-phantom-blog]

As an adult it’s generally considered shameful if you live with your parents, but commendable if your parents live with you.

[lazybones-purple-phantom-blog]

The misuse of literally makes me want to figuratively drown myself.

[lazybones-purple-phantom-blog]

Yankee Candle should rename itself The Headache Store.

[lazybones-purple-phantom-blog]

Microwaves should have a mute button to turn off the beeps for those late night uses.

[lazybones-purple-phantom-blog]

People who speed up their walk when crossing streets: the real heroes of this world

[lazybones-purple-phantom-blog]

I can’t be the only person in the world who puts potato chips inside his sandwhich………

[lazybones-purple-phantom-blog]

The share button of reddit should be changed to “spreddit”.

[lazybones-purple-phantom-blog]

Every type of hoarding is extremely frowned upon; except money hoarding, that type is idolized.

[lazybones-purple-phantom-blog]

Glass buildings are just really elaborate sand castles

[lazybones-purple-phantom-blog]

People who don’t use their blinker are essentially too lazy to lift a finger

[lazybones-purple-phantom-blog]

If you wear an orange vest and hold a stop sign, literally no one will question you ability to stop traffic whenever you want