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everything just feels jumbled on this blog ..  so i made a new one.  feel free to follow if you’d like to write in the future @scxtape @scxtape @scxtape !! 

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I'm still suffering and I don't wanna recover

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𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐧 + 𝐣𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐲𝐧 .

“  to  me  ,  yeah  ,  you’re  an  𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗲  .  ”  everything  about  this  seemed  so  stereotypical  .  public  break  up  .  excuses  she  doesn’t  agree  with  it  .  it  fucking  hurts  .  “  i’m  the  child  ?  who  brought  who  out  tonight  just  to  break  up  with  them  ?  how  can  i  accept  something  i  don’t  even  get  ,  like  come  on  !  what  about  my  life  that  isn’t  𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴  for  you  ?  you  know  ,  what  ,  no  ,  i  don’t  even  want  to  k  n  o  w  .  false  accusations  ?!  that’s  how  i  feel  ,  that’s  how  you  make  me  feel  .  i  know  you  tried  to  put  a  cap  on  my  emotions  with  your  whole  i  appreciate  knowing  you  spiel  .  so  fake  .  that’s  so  fucking  fake  to  me  !  and  yeah  ,  i’m  going  to  cry  about  this  to  my  friends  .  am  i  not  allowed  to  ?  ”  dam  shatters  ,  blinking  fast  as  she  𝗱𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘁𝘀  gaze  to  her  lap  as  tears  begin  silent  stream  down  cheeks  ,  “  got  it  .  message  received  .  ”  

“ i brought you out here tonight cause’ i respect you , jocelyn . would you rather have me break up with you through a text message ? maybe a call ? “ he was at an absolute lost . no matter what he did , he still couldn’t please the woman seated just a few feet away from him . she was never satisfied and made him feel as though his efforts weren’t worth a dime . “ i’m on the road 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 than i’d like to be . my career doesn’t support a relationship — our relationship . i tried to make this as easy as possible for the both of us . “ placing both of his forearms on the table , he leans in slightly , the grief of their now dead relationship starting to eat at him. “ i’m not tryna make you cry mama .. and everything i just said i really meant . i’ve never lied about my feelings for you. if i’m fake for trying to go about this in a 𝗺 𝗮 𝘁 𝘂 𝗿 𝗲 manner , then so be it . “

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𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐞 + 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 .

“  don’t  get  it  𝘁𝘄𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱  .  i  wanted  to  be  with  you  forever  .  i  don’t  fuckin’  hate  your  presence  ,  you  hurt  me  .  and  i’m  done  with  that  shit  ,  like  damn  ,  man  ,  don’t  i  deserve  a  fuckin’  break  ?  you  bailed  on  me  ,  i  don’t  wanna  hear  your  𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲𝘀  .  ”  words  shatter  heart  ,  mainly  because  he  couldn’t  believe  it  .  they  weren’t  just  on  different  pages  ,  a  whole  other  fucking  books  apart  .  he’s  never  really  felt  safe  around  anyone  .  he’s  surrounded  by  yes  men  .  rosalie  made  him  feel  comfortable  enough  to  o  p  e  n  up  .  carter  didn’t  realize  in  the  process  she  had  been  feeling  neglected  .  views  it  as  just  another  thing  he  can’t  get  right  .  fingers  ruffle  through  his  curls  ,  he  swallows  a  𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗸  lump  in  his  throat  ,  staring  intensely  at  the  ground  to  avoid  bursting  into  tears  himself  .  hands  dive  into  his  pockets  .  for  once  ,  he  doesn’t  have  anything  to  say  .  “  …  because  of  me  ?  ”  hand  drags  down  his  face  ,  feels  suffocated  ,  anxiety  coating  him  like  a  heavy  jacket  he  desperately  wants  𝗼𝗳𝗳  .  “  i  didn’t  know  .  i  just  thought  you  were  safe  .  i  didn’t  know  .  ”  a  slow  exhale  .  “  i  need  to  leave  .  ”  

eyebrows bridges furrow , taken aback at how quickly his entire demeanor changed by her confession . rosalie could pinpoint the transition from defensiveness to remorse and self-loathing all over his countenance . it appeared that he was truly oblivious to her emotions , and now she was the one feeling like the worst person in the world for even bringing it to his attention . “ wait wait , “ her hand reached for his own before he could escape to deal with his internal issues on his own. “ don’t go .. please. take a deep breath with me. “ anxiety always seems to 𝗱 𝗿 𝗼 𝘄 𝗻 him during intense situations like this one ; she witnessed it first hand. she helped him through it during their relationship , and she was still willing to be there for him now. cautiously , she grabbed his other hand and took a deep inhale in , her brunette orbs silently begging him to do it with her. “ breathe out carter , i’m right here with you . you can let it all out love — whatever you’re feeling . “ nothing else mattered in that moment. not the argument , not the harsh words exchanged between each other a minute ago , not the sinking feeling in her gut. nothing. only thing that mattered was 𝗵 𝗶 𝗺 . she needed him to know that he wasn’t alone.

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𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 @malboraslihan .

“ i’d ruin your life — all while batting my eyelashes at y o u so you’d never see it coming . “

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𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 @malboraslihan .

“ you always seem to come running back .. can’t say i’m surprised though . “

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MARIAH THE SCIENTIST on Genius Verified.

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JAYSON TATUM 2021 POST GAME INTERVIEWS. 

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DOJA CAT for Candy Crush All Stars

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i’m annoying , ik 😩 i need more threads tho so like this for a one liner ..

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𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐧 + 𝐣𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐲𝐧 .

it’s  like  swatting  away  a  fly  ,  instinctual  as  she’s  𝗯𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴  away  from  homme’s  touch  all  the  while  clenching  jaw  as  though  tightened  muscles  could  freeze  tears  before  they  could  manifest  .  “  don’t  touch  me  .  ”  to  say  she  feels  led  on  would  be  a  poor  reflection  of  the  sheer  humiliation  bubbling  within  her  .  “  don’t  coddle  me  as  you  break  up  with  me  .  you  meant  exactly  what  you  said  .  what  do  you  want  me  to  say  here  ?  thanks  for  using  me  and  leading  me  on  for  the  past  couple  of  months  ,  have  a  nice  life  asshole  ?  no  ,  actually  that  𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀  this  situation  perfectly  .  ”

releasing a 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩 exhale after witnessing her reaction , he took a couple steps back until his back hit the wall. she wanted to be heard , so he gifted her the stage. jourdan was more of a listener anyways , preferring to observe and dissect each word warily before responding. “ oh so i’m an asshole now ? okay. “ licking his full lips , his mind still processing everything that she had just voiced. “ ima be real with you , you are being childish as fuck right now. instead of accepting the simple fact that our separate lives won’t allow us to be together , you wanna make false accusations. using you and leading you on ? cut the bullshit. ” he shook his head , hoodie strings swinging in the midst. “ creating this dumbass narrative so you can tell social media and your friends that i’m some fucked up person. grow up shawty. “

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𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐞 + 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 .

“  i  don’t  get  why  you  think  i’m  supposed  to  be  𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗲  here  .  i  was  mindin’  my  own  fuckin’  business  .  i  stopped  textin’  you  .  i  left  you  alone  .  so  why  the  fuck  do  you  feel  like  you  gotta  torture  me  here  ?  ”  there  are  many  l  a  y  e  r  s  that  make  up  carter  pointdexter  .  at  the  core  of  him  ,  he’s  an  𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗲  little  boy  who  just  wants  peace  and  happiness  .  but  after  so  many  years  of  being  painted  as  persona  non  grada  ,  he’s  embraced  darker  mannerisms  just  to  stop  fighting  the  inevitable  .  blonde  groans  when  his  ex  girlfriend  boldly  snatches  away  his  cigarette  ,  teetering  on  the  verge  of  losing  his  temper  once  more  .  “  are  you  𝗱𝗼𝗻𝗲  yet  ?  after  all  the  shit  i  spilled  to  you  …  you’re  still  gonna  tell  me  i’m  fuckin’  fake  ?  ”

“ torture you ? god , do you really contemn my presence that much ? “ her head couldn’t even begin to fathom the hostility that was being shot her way by the only man she ever truly loved — l o v e s. “ you wanna know why i left ? i’ll tell you why i fucking left carter , “ eye contact incessant as she took a mere foot forward. “ i felt more like a 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘁 than a 𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱. you carry so much deep trauma and a shit-load of chips on your shoulder that when i was trying to fix you , i was leaving myself to crumble. “ a dry chuckle audible as she turns away from the homme. “ i never got a ‘ thank you ‘ or ‘ i appreciate you rosalie. ‘ nothing. you’ve never been transparent about your feelings for me … sorry , i should’ve been more clear. ” that little protective shell she wore beginning to crack , an emotional waterfall threatening to 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸 loose. “ i fucking lost myself because of you but whatever , guess you’re the only victim here. “

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“this is so romantic” and it’s two characters trying to kill each other

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Mädchen Amick SLEEPWALKERS 1992, dir. Mick Garris