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[lcvesickbf]

[lcvesickbf]

I'm very lucky.

I wake up in the morning to his touch. There's breakfast and coffee on the table for me. The coffee's warm and made exactly how I like it. The chores are done with me, if I'm having a difficult time doing them myself.

He holds me willingly. He looks at me with respect. He looks at me with lust, when the situation calls for it. He listens to me. He engages with me and my interests.

What did I do to deserve this? All I've known is abuse. It feels good, but it also feels strange.

[lcvesickbf]

He cares so deeply for me. What a privilege, to be loved by someone like him -- what a joy, to know he wants to live with me forever. 💙

[lcvesickbf]

I've been playing around with makeup, recently. He seems to really like it -- and for the first time in my life, I don't mind it.

I'm so used to being interpreted as an object. A painted, pretty thing. It's nice to have someone see me as an autonomous being, regardless of how deeply I've pressed myself inside of the skin of a bastard femininity. It feels nice, being a man in his eyes.

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i’d kill for you. i’d die for you. i’d live for you.

bleed with you. rot with you. die with you.

[lcvesickbf]

i am what’s right for you. what more could you need?

[lcvesickbf]

i want to curl my fingers around his heart, feel every inch and crevice, feel it pulsate and rest on my palm, i want him to feel safe with my hand wrapped around the organ that keeps him alive, so vulnerable for me, only for me

[lcvesickbf]

True love is feral, obsessive and violent.

[lcvesickbf]

[lcvesickbf]

True love is feral, obsessive and violent.

[lcvesickbf]

[lcvesickbf]

[lcvesickbf]

His birthday is coming up soon.

He said all he wanted for it was love...and recently, he gave me permission to do as I please. Safe word permitting, of course.

I'm still going to try to find something he wants object-wise, but if that's truly what he wants...

[lcvesickbf]

Everything was fine, actually.

Anyway. I was looking in my tea cabinet yesterday, and I noticed all of the different things I have in my mini-apothecary. Many things that have altering effects on the brain. Many sedatives. Many stimulatives. Many things that work together without much of a risk of problems.

He did say he was okay with surprises.

Maybe...maybe...

[lcvesickbf]

Tell me that I'm your religion again.

Thank me for making you almost pass out from smothering you in my thighs. Beg my forgiveness after you bite me too hard. Worship me. Revere me. Praise me. Be at beck and call for me, and thank me for giving you orders.

Give me all of your attention, and then beg me for the joy of being carved. 💙

[lcvesickbf]

Poor, sleepy thing...so cute when he's just surfacing from rest...so soft, so sweet, so unassuming...

[lcvesickbf]