leeknowswifesblog

[leeknowswifesblog]

My very first story here on Tumblr 💌

Set during Stray Kids’ Brazil concert trip, this is a slow-burn hurt/comfort fic focused on Chan pushing through unbearable pain in silence, hiding it behind his leader smile. But when Hyunjin notices what no one else does, everything begins to shift. Sometimes the strongest person needs someone to hold them too.

💔 angst / 💞 comfort / 🛏️ soft intimacy / 💬 Chan x Hyunjin

I poured my heart into this—hope you feel something when you read it.

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Where it Hurts

Chan tried to keep his smile steady despite the sharp pain shooting up from his flat feet. The three-hour performance had taken its toll, but as the leader, he couldn't show weakness. Not when they had two more nights to go. Not when everyone else was riding the high of their success. Not when they needed him to be strong.

"That was insane!" Changbin shouted, eyes still alight with the electricity of the stage as they entered the hotel lobby. "Did you see how they sang along to every word? Even the Korean parts!"

Lee Know nodded excitedly, his usually calm demeanor broken by genuine awe. "Brazilian stays are something else, man. The energy in that arena..."

"I thought my eardrums would burst," Han added, pushing his sweaty hair back with trembling fingers. "In a good way, though. Like, I never want to forget that sound."

Chan forced a smile, shifting his weight subtly to relieve the pressure on his right foot. The pain had started as a dull ache during rehearsal that morning, but he'd pushed through. He always did. Because that's what being a leader meant putting everyone else first. Even when every step felt like walking on broken glass.

"Everyone did well today," Chan said, voice steady despite the fire burning through his feet. "Let's make sure we rest properly for tomorrow."

Hyunjin gave him a curious glance, eyes lingering a moment too long. "You okay hyung? You're walking a bit funny."

Chan's heart stuttered. Was his pain that obvious? Panic fluttered in his chest .. the last thing he wanted was to become a burden, a worry, a distraction from their success.

"I'm fine," he replied too quickly, forcing brightness into his voice. "Just tired."

Felix yawned dramatically, stretching his arms above his head. "Aren't we all? I could sleep for a week."

"But food first," Seungmin declared, eyes bright with anticipation. "I heard there's an amazing churrascaria nearby. Who's in?"

Everyone raised their hands enthusiastically, their faces lit with childlike excitement, except Chan, who feigned a yawn to hide the tears threatening to form in his eyes. The thought of standing for even a minute longer made his stomach clench.

"I think I'll have dinner in my room," he said with practiced casualness. "Need to review some footage from tonight's performance."

Always the responsible one. Always the leader. Always the excuse.

The group reluctantly departed, their excited chatter about dinner fading as they walked away. Chan watched them go, a hollow feeling spreading in his chest. They looked so happy , so carefree. He couldn't remember the last time he felt that way.

The moment they were out of sight, Chan's smile crumbled like a sandcastle in the tide. He limped heavily toward the elevator, leaning against the wall as the pain he had been holding in for so long escaped his mouth in a soft, broken moan. Alone. Always alone with his pain.

---

In his hotel room, he collapsed onto the bed with a pained groan that tore from his throat. His feet throbbed mercilessly, every heartbeat sending fresh waves of agony up his legs. He knew he should ice them, but even the thought of getting up again was unbearable. The doctor had been clear that morning.. he needed rest, no performance tonight. But how could he let everyone down? Let the fans down? Let himself down?

With trembling hands, he managed to untie his shoelaces, wincing as he pulled them off to reveal swollen, angry red feet. The pain brought tears to his eyes, hot and stinging.

"Just two more nights," he whispered to himself, voice breaking on each word. "You can do this. You have to do this."

He dragged himself to the bathroom, intent on taking a hot shower to soothe his aching muscles. But standing proved too painful, each attempt sending lightning bolts of agony up his legs. After several failed attempts, tears streaming down his face, he gave up, settling for wiping his face and changing into the hotel bathrobe.

The magnitude of his situation finally hit him like a physical blow. Alone in a foreign country, in too much pain to even shower, but worse than that was the ache in his heart.. a deep, hollow feeling that seemed to grow with each passing minute. No one had noticed. No one had checked on him. They had all gone to eat, laughing and enjoying their time, assuming he was fine.

As he always was. As he always pretended to be.

"I'm supposed to be the strong one," he sobbed quietly into his pillow, the fabric growing damp beneath his face. "The leader."

The word felt like a weight around his neck, dragging him deeper into the ocean of his isolation. Leader. The one who smiles through pain. The one who carries everyone else's burdens. The one who never asks for help.

But his pain was getting worse, each throb more intense than the last, making it impossible for him to even reach the painkillers on the nightstand. The only thing he could do was curl up in agony on the large bed, feeling small and forgotten.

A knock at the door startled him from his spiral of self pity. Quickly wiping his tears with the back of his hand, he called out, "Who is it?" His voice sounded foreign to his own ears, raw and vulnerable.

"Hotel staff, sir. I've brought your water."

Chan cleared his throat, trying to compose himself. "Just a moment."

For a fleeting second, his heart had jumped—the soft-spoken tone reminded him of Hyunjin. That same gentle cadence. He sat up, wincing as fire shot through his feet, and arranged his face into what he hoped was a neutral expression. "Come in."

A young staff member entered with a tray of water bottles. "Here you are, sir. The hotel provides complimentary..." The man stopped mid-sentence, noticing Chan's reddened eyes and tense posture. Concern flashed across his face. "Are you alright, sir?"

"Yes, thank you," Chan replied with forced brightness, the smile on his face feeling like a mask that was too tight. "Just tired from the concert. You can leave them on the table."

The staff member hesitated, clearly not convinced, but nodded, setting down the water. "Will you need anything else, sir?"

"No, that's all. Thank you."

After the staff member left, Chan let his facade drop again like a heavy curtain. He reached for a water bottle but knocked it to the floor instead, watching helplessly as it rolled away. The simple task of retrieving it seemed as impossible as climbing a mountain.

He buried his face into the pillow, gripping it tightly as his shoulders shook with silent sobs. Tears slid down his cheeks, hot against his cold skin.

“Why does it hurt so much?”

Not just the physical pain shooting up his leg. The emptiness. The loneliness. The feeling of being surrounded by people who loved him but still feeling utterly alone.

The others weren't cruel. He knew that. They cared about him deeply. But somehow, being left behind stung more than he had expected, opening wounds he'd thought long healed wounds from a childhood spent being the responsible one, the one who never complained, the one who was always fine.

Minutes passed, or maybe hours. Time lost meaning in the haze of his pain. His head felt light, his limbs heavy. The world seemed to be slipping away from him, reality blurring at the edges. He had barely registered the distant sound of footsteps fast, urgent until his door burst open with a force that startled him from his half-conscious state.

"Chan!"

Hyunjin.

Chan's breath hitched, his heart leaping like a startled deer. He turned his head slightly, eyes red-rimmed and swollen, lips parted in surprise.

Hyunjin stood in the doorway, chest rising and falling rapidly as if he'd run all the way there. His brows were furrowed so deeply they almost touched, creating a line of worry between his eyes. His gaze.. dark, piercing.. swept over Chan, taking in everything at once: the way he clutched the pillow like a lifeline, the tear-streaked cheeks, the bathrobe loosely tied around his trembling body, the unnatural angle of his leg.

And then, just like that, Hyunjin was at his side, the mattress dipping beneath his weight. The warmth of his presence was immediate, almost overwhelming after hours of cold solitude.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice was low, almost a whisper, but there was an unmistakable sharpness beneath it. Not ange, hurt. Deep, aching hurt that matched the pain in Chan's feet.

Chan swallowed, his throat tight with unshed tears. "It's nothing," he managed, the lie tasting bitter on his tongue.

Hyunjin's hand was already reaching out, his long fingers gentle yet firm as they pressed into Chan's sole. Chan flinched, unable to hide his pain, a small gasp escaping his lips.

Hyunjin froze, his expression changing from concern to something deeper, more intense. His jaw clenched, a muscle jumping beneath his skin. "...You're shaking."

The simple observation broke something inside Chan. The wall he'd built around his vulnerability began to crumble, brick by brick. A lump formed in his throat, making it difficult to breathe. He turned his face away, unable to bear the weight of Hyunjin's gaze. "Go eat with the others. I'm fine."

The words sounded hollow even to his own ears, a script he'd recited too many times.

But then... a sensation so unexpected, so tender that it sent a shock through his entire body. Warmth against the sole of his foot. Chan looked down in disbelief to see Hyunjin pressing his lips to the inflamed skin, his eyes closed, brows furrowed in concentration.

Chan's eyes widened, his heart skipping several beats before racing ahead. His whole body began to tremble uncontrollably, no longer from pain but from something else entirely.. something he'd been denying for far too long. He immediately sat up straight in bed, the sudden movement sending fresh waves of pain through his legs, but he barely noticed. Tears began to flow again, but these weren't tears of pain or loneliness. They were tears of being seen, truly seen, for the first time in as long as he could remember.

A soft sob escaped his mouth, raw and unfiltered.

"Don't say that," Hyunjin murmured against his skin, his warm breath sending shivers up Chan's leg. "You know, you know I wouldn't do that." His voice broke slightly on the last word, revealing his own vulnerability.

Chan couldn't look at him anymore. The intensity of the moment was too much, too raw. He wanted to say something.. anything.. but his words felt stuck in his throat, trapped by the storm of emotions raging inside him: the physical pain that had been his constant companion all day, the ache in his heart that had been there much longer, and this new feeling, this terrifying, exhilarating feeling that threatened to consume him whole.

He looked away again, avoiding Hyunjin's eyes, afraid of what he might find there.. or worse, what Hyunjin might see in his.

"Don't hide your face anymore," Hyunjin said, his voice rough with emotion. His touch was unbearably gentle as he cupped Chan's face, turning him back. "Please."

Their eyes met.

And in that moment, something shifted between them like tectonic plates moving beneath the surface, changing the landscape forever.

Hyunjin's thumb brushed away the remnants of a tear, leaving a trail of warmth on Chan's skin. His hand lingered a second too long, warm and steady against Chan's flushed cheek.

Neither of them spoke.

Neither of them moved.

The air between them was heavy, charged with everything they'd never said to each other, everything they'd been too afraid to acknowledge. It was filled with something unspoken, something that had been there for longer than either of them had cared to admit.

And for the first time in what felt like forever, Chan didn't feel alone. The realization brought fresh tears to his eyes, but he didn't turn away this time. He let Hyunjin see them, see him.. not the leader, not the strong one, just Chan.

Hyunjin, who had been cradling Chan's face with a tenderness that made his heart ache, finally looked around the room, his expression growing more concerned with each passing second.

It wasn't like Chan at all.

Chan was always the type to keep everything in order, a physical manifestation of the control he maintained over his life and emotions. Even in the midst of bone-deep exhaustion, he would at least fold his clothes neatly on the chair or tuck them into his suitcase with methodical precision. But tonight, his clothes were scattered, untouched. His jacket was draped haphazardly over the couch. His stage outfit was still crumpled on the floor where he'd let it fall.

Hyunjin's eyes darkened as they landed on the untouched table, the room service menu still sealed with the hotel sticker.

No food.

His stomach twisted with guilt and worry.

He didn't even eat.

His grip on Chan tightened before he even realized it, his fingers pressing into Chan's skin like he was afraid he might disappear.

Chan felt the change in Hyunjin's touch. "Jinnie!” His voice was small, tired, almost childlike in its vulnerability.

Hyunjin didn't answer immediately. Instead, he moved with surprising gentleness, pulling Chan into his arms, wrapping himself around him as if trying to shield him from the world.. or perhaps from himself. One arm circled Chan's waist while the other cradled the back of his head, holding him against his chest.

Chan stiffened for a second, unused to being the one held rather than the one doing the holding. But then, as if a dam had broken, his body melted against Hyunjin's warmth, surrendering to the comfort he offered. He was too exhausted to pretend anymore, too raw to maintain the facade that had been slowly killing him.

Hyunjin pressed his lips together, his throat tight with emotion. His fingers ran gently through Chan's hair before resting against his nape, holding him close. The intimacy of the gesture was not lost on either of them.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he murmured, voice heavy with something Chan couldn't place.. or perhaps was afraid to name.

"I didn't want to be a burden," Chan whispered against Hyunjin's chest, the words muffled but clear enough. The truth, finally spoken aloud, felt both terrifying and freeing.

Hyunjin's jaw clenched. His arms tightened around Chan, as if the very thought of him suffering alone was physically painful. "You—" He took a deep breath, trying to steady his voice. "Idiot."

The word was harsh, but his tone was impossibly fond, filled with an emotion that made Chan's heart race.

Chan let out a weak chuckle, the sound watery and fragile. "Maybe."

Hyunjin pulled back just enough to look at him, his large hands cupping both sides of Chan's face again. His thumbs brushed under Chan's eyes, wiping away the remnants of tears, his touch impossibly soft. "Don't ever do this again," he said, voice firm but gentle, eyes intense with emotion. "Not to me."

The implications of those two simple words to me hung in the air between them, heavy with meaning.

Chan blinked, something warm blooming in his chest, spreading outward like ripples in a pond. But before he could find the words to respond, Hyunjin shifted his attention back to Chan's feet, his expression growing serious again.

Chan's feet were curled up tightly, the tendons visible beneath the skin, as if he had been holding in the pain for hours. Which he had.

"Does it hurt a lot?" Hyunjin asked quietly, his hands hovering over Chan's ankles, afraid to cause more pain.

Chan hesitated, years of automatically downplaying his pain warring with this new, fragile honesty between them. Finally, he gave a small nod, admitting weakness for perhaps the first time since becoming the leader.

Hyunjin sighed, a sound filled with both sadness and fondness. He began rubbing slow, comforting circles over Chan's ankles, his touch feather light. "You're really hopeless, aren't you?" The words were teasing, but his eyes were soft with an emotion that made Chan's heart skip.

Chan pouted slightly, a glimpse of his playful side emerging through the pain. "I thought you were trying to cheer me up."

Hyunjin huffed a laugh, the sound warming Chan from the inside out. "I am. You're just making it difficult." He reached for his phone and quickly called the hotel front desk, his free hand still stroking Chan's ankle in a gesture that felt remarkably intimate.

"This is room number 143. Send up some foods. Light but filling. And water. A lot of it." His voice left no room for argument, protective and commanding in a way Chan had rarely heard from him.

Chan blinked up at him, slightly stunned by the authoritative tone. "You didn't even ask what I wanted… and we have water”The last words came out of his mouth inaudibly.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, but his lips quirked up at the corners. "Because you won't pick something that's good for you. You never do."

Chan gave him a half hearted glare, but Hyunjin only smirked before putting his phone aside, his expression softening again.

Then, with no warning, he scooped Chan up into his arms, one arm under his knees and the other supporting his back.

"Wha—- !" Chan spluttered, his face flushing with heat.

"You haven't bathed," Hyunjin said simply, carrying him toward the bathroom as if he weighed nothing. "And judging by how you can barely move, you're not going to anytime soon."

Chan's face burned hotter, embarrassment and something else entirely flooding his system. "I can—"

"Shut up." Hyunjin's voice was stern, but his eyes were gentle, filled with a tenderness that made Chan's protests die in his throat.

Chan shut up.

Hyunjin glanced down at him, amused and something more. "Good boy."

The simple praise sent a shiver down Chan's spine, and he buried his face in Hyunjin's shoulder, breathing in the familiar scent of his cologne mixed with the lingering adrenaline of the concert. Maybe he was too tired to argue, or maybe.. just maybe.... he didn't want to. Maybe, for once, he wanted to be taken care of instead of being the caretaker.

The bathroom was warm, filled with the faint scent of lavender from the hotel toiletries. Hyunjin set Chan down gently on the closed toilet seat, crouching in front of him. His hands didn't leave Chan's legs, still rubbing slow circles against his ankles, each touch electric.

Chan, who had been trying to keep his composure, suddenly felt a lump rise in his throat. The gentleness of Hyunjin's hands, the concern in his eyes, the way he was looking at him..it was all too much.

Hyunjin was always the cool one. The composed one. The one who rarely showed concern in obvious ways. But right now, he was looking at Chan like he was something fragile…something precious. Something he didn't want to break.

And it made Chan feel both weak and stronger than he'd ever been.

"I can do it myself," he mumbled, staring at the floor, a last-ditch effort to maintain some semblance of the independence he'd always prided himself on.

Hyunjin scoffed, seeing right through him. "Yeah? Then stand up."

Chan hesitated, knowing it was a challenge he couldn't meet but unwilling to admit defeat so easily. He gritted his teeth, pushing against the seat. The moment he shifted weight onto his injured foot, a sharp pain shot up his leg, white hot and blinding. His body jerked involuntarily, and he nearly toppled forward, a strangled cry escaping his lips.

But Hyunjin was already there, as if he'd anticipated it. Strong arms caught him before he could fall, holding him steady, holding him close.

"...Right. You're doing great," Hyunjin said dryly, but his eyes betrayed his concern as he held Chan against his chest, their faces inches apart.

Chan let out a breathless laugh, genuine despite the pain. "Shut up."

Hyunjin smirked, but his eyes softened. "You first."

Their faces were close. Too close.

For a moment, neither of them moved. Chan could feel the rise and fall of Hyunjin's chest against his own, could feel his own heart racing, could feel his breath hitching just slightly. His fingers curled into the fabric of Hyunjin's shirt, unsure whether to push him away or pull him closer.

Hyunjin was staring at him. Not teasingly. Not impatiently. Just... watching. His eyes roamed over Chan's face, taking in every detail, lingering on his lips for a heartbeat too long. As if waiting for something. As if asking a question he couldn't put into words.

The moment stretched between them, taut with possibility.

And for once, Chan didn't feel like a leader, responsible for everything and everyone. He didn't feel like the strong one, carrying the weight of expectations on his shoulders.

He just felt like himself. Seen. Understood. And not alone.

Not anymore.

The tension between them seemed to stretch into infinity. Chan felt himself leaning in slightly, unconsciously, drawn by something magnetic and undeniable. Hyunjin's eyes darkened, his gaze dropping to Chan's lips once more. The distance between them shortened, their breaths mingling in the small space.

Then..Hyunjin's expression shifted. Something flashed across his features.. hesitation, uncertainty, perhaps even fear. He pulled back abruptly, his hands still steadying Chan but his body retreating as if burned.

"I—" Hyunjin's voice was rough, unsteady. He cleared his throat, looking away. "Let me run you a bath."

Chan felt a pang of loss, of confusion, but nodded, trying to ignore the way his heart had leaped and then plummeted. "Okay," he whispered, unsure what else to say.

Hyunjin gently helped Chan sit back down on the toilet seat before turning to the bathtub, his movements suddenly stiff, mechanical. The soft sound of running water filled the silence between them, steam slowly rising to fog the mirror.

Chan watched Hyunjin's back, the tension visible in his shoulders as he tested the water temperature with his fingertips. There was something vulnerable about seeing him like this.. uncertain, careful, trying so hard to do the right thing.

"Not too hot," Hyunjin murmured, more to himself than to Chan. He added some of the hotel's bath salts, the scent of lavender intensifying in the warm, humid air. "It'll help with the inflammation."

Chan nodded again, words failing him. The almost-moment between them hung in the air, unacknowledged but impossible to ignore.

When the tub was half full, Hyunjin turned back to him, his expression carefully neutral. "Can you—" He gestured vaguely at Chan's bathrobe, a hint of color rising to his cheeks. "Or do you need help?"

"I can manage," Chan said quickly, feeling heat rise in his own face.

Hyunjin nodded, stepping back. "I'll—I'll wait outside. Call me when you're in."

Before Chan could respond, Hyunjin had slipped out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him with a soft click.

Chan sat there for a moment, the silence suddenly deafening. His mind replayed what had almost happened..the way Hyunjin had looked at him, the closeness, the charged moment that had passed between them. Had he imagined it? Had he misunderstood?

With a sigh, he carefully untied his bathrobe, letting it fall from his shoulders. Every movement was slow, painful, but he managed to ease himself into the tub without crying out. The hot water enveloped him, and he couldn't suppress a groan of relief as it soothed his aching muscles.

"Jinnie?" he called out, his voice echoing slightly in the tiled bathroom.

The door opened immediately, as if Hyunjin had been waiting right outside, perhaps listening for any sounds of distress. Their eyes met, and something unspoken passed between them again.. an acknowledgment of the fragile thing between them, neither of them ready to name it yet.

"Is it okay?" Hyunjin asked, hovering in the doorway, his eyes carefully averted from Chan's body, visible beneath the clear water.

"Perfect," Chan murmured, sinking deeper into the water. "Thank you."

Hyunjin nodded, his hand lingering on the doorknob. "I'll be right outside. Room service should be here soon." He hesitated, as if there was something more he wanted to say. Instead, he simply said, "Call if you need anything."

And then he was gone, leaving Chan alone with his thoughts and the soothing warmth of the water.

Chan leaned his head back against the edge of the tub, closing his eyes. The pain in his feet had dulled to a manageable ache, the hot water doing its work. But there was a different kind of ache in his chest now.. one he wasn't sure how to soothe.

He thought of the way Hyunjin had looked at him, so full of concern and something deeper. Something he'd tried to deny for too long. Something that had been there, unspoken between them, for longer than either of them would admit.

Outside, he could hear Hyunjin moving around, the faint sounds of him tidying up the room, making it comfortable for Chan's return. Taking care of him in ways no one had in a long time.

Chan's heart swelled with emotion..gratitude, affection, and something more complex. Something that made his breath catch and his pulse quicken.

Something that, perhaps, they would have to face sooner or later.

But for now, the warmth of the water and the knowledge that he wasn't alone anymore were enough. For the first time in a long time, as the tension slowly drained from his body, Chan allowed himself to be taken care of.

And in the quiet of the steamy bathroom, with Hyunjin's presence just beyond the door, he felt something he hadn't truly felt in years: safe.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

The water had grown lukewarm by the time Chan found the strength to pull himself out of the tub. His muscles felt looser, the pain in his feet reduced to a dull throb thanks to the bath salts. He dried himself off carefully and slipped back into the hotel bathrobe, cinching it tightly around his waist.

"Jinnie?" he called out, his voice sounding small even to his own ears.

The bathroom door opened almost immediately. Hyunjin stood in the doorway, his expression a mixture of concern and something more vulnerable that made Chan's heart skip.

"Need help?" Hyunjin asked, extending his hand.

Chan nodded, swallowing his pride as he took the offered hand. Hyunjin's fingers closed around his, warm and steady, then slipped an arm around Chan's waist to support him. The simple contact sent electricity racing up Chan's spine.

Together, they made their way back to the bedroom, which had been transformed in Chan's absence. The scattered clothes were gone, neatly folded in his suitcase. The bed was turned down invitingly, with extra pillows arranged at the headboard. On the small table by the window sat a room service tray with covered dishes, a vase with a single flower, and a pot of steaming tea.

"You did all this?" Chan asked, voice soft with surprise.

Hyunjin shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant despite the color rising in his cheeks. "It wasn't much."

But it was. It was everything.

Chan let Hyunjin guide him to the bed, settling him against the pillows with a tenderness that made his chest ache. When Hyunjin moved to pull away, Chan caught his wrist, holding him there. Their eyes met, and the air between them seemed to crackle with something electric, something inevitable.

"Stay," Chan whispered, the single word carrying the weight of everything he couldn't yet say.

Hyunjin's breath caught audibly. He nodded once, slowly, eyes never leaving Chan's.

"Let me get your food first," he said, his voice low and rough around the edges. "You need to eat."

Chan reluctantly released his wrist, watching as Hyunjin brought over the room service tray and set it on the bed beside him. He removed the covers to reveal a simple but appealing meal.. soup, grilled fish, and fresh fruit.

"The hotel chef made this specially," Hyunjin explained, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I told them you needed something nutritious but gentle on the stomach."

Chan smiled, touched by the thoughtfulness. "Thank you."

Their fingers brushed as Hyunjin handed him a spoon, the brief contact sending warmth spreading through Chan's body. He tried to focus on eating, suddenly aware of how hungry he was, but he couldn't help stealing glances at Hyunjin, who was watching him with soft eyes.

"What?" Chan asked after a few moments of this, self-consciousness coloring his voice.

Hyunjin's lips curved into a small smile. "Nothing. Just making sure you're eating properly for once."

Chan rolled his eyes, but there was no heat in it. "Says the one who survives on iced americanos and two hours of sleep."

"Do as I say, not as I do," Hyunjin replied, his smile widening.

They lapsed into comfortable silence, the only sounds the clink of silverware and the distant hum of the city beyond the window. When Chan had eaten his fill, Hyunjin took the tray and set it aside, then poured them both cups of tea from the steaming pot.

"How are your feet now?" Hyunjin asked, his eyes dropping to where Chan's feet were propped on a pillow.

"Better," Chan admitted. "Still sore, but the bath helped."

Hyunjin nodded, setting down his tea. "May I?" he asked, gesturing to Chan's feet.

Chan hesitated only briefly before nodding, curious and a little nervous about what Hyunjin intended. Hyunjin moved to the foot of the bed, sitting cross-legged as he gently took one of Chan's feet into his lap. With careful movements, he began to massage it, his thumbs pressing into the arch with just enough pressure to relieve tension without causing pain.

Chan couldn't suppress the moan that escaped his lips. The sensation was incredible, a perfect balance of pleasure and relief that made his toes curl.

"Too much?" Hyunjin asked, immediately lightening his touch.

"No," Chan breathed, letting his head fall back against the pillows. "It's... it's perfect. Where did you learn to do this?"

Hyunjin smiled, continuing his ministrations. "Remember my ankle injury last year? The physical therapist taught me. I've been doing it for myself ever since."

Chan felt a pang of guilt. "I should have noticed you were in pain then. I should have helped."

Hyunjin's hands paused, his expression serious. "Like you're one to talk. At least I told someone when I was hurt." There was no accusation in his voice, only gentle concern.

Chan looked away, unable to meet his gaze. "It's different. I'm the leader."

"And that means you have to suffer alone?" Hyunjin asked, his voice soft but steady as he resumed the massage, moving to Chan's other foot. "That's bullshit, Chan."

The use of his name… not "hyung" or his stage name… caught Chan's attention. It felt intimate, personal in a way that made his heart race.

"I just..." Chan struggled to find the words. "I don't want to be a burden. Everyone already works so hard."

"And you think we don't worry when you push yourself too far?" Hyunjin countered, his hands still working magic on Chan's aching feet. "You think we don't notice when you're in pain but trying to hide it?"

Chan stared at him, surprised. "You noticed?"

Hyunjin met his gaze, something fierce and protective in his eyes. "I always notice. I just... didn't know how to help without making you feel weak. You're so stubborn about these things."

The admission hung in the air between them, heavy with implications. Chan felt something shift in his chest, a realization dawning slowly.

"How long?" he asked quietly.

Hyunjin didn't pretend to misunderstand. His hands stilled on Chan's foot, his gaze dropping to where his fingers rested against Chan's skin. "Too long," he finally said, voice barely above a whisper. "Years, maybe."

Chan's breath caught in his throat. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Hyunjin gave a humorless laugh. "Why didn't you tell anyone you were in pain?" He looked up, his eyes meeting Chan's with unexpected intensity. "Some things are hard to say out loud."

The room seemed to shrink around them, the air charged with unspoken feelings. Chan felt his heart pounding against his ribs, so loud he was certain Hyunjin must hear it.

"What if..." Chan began, then stopped, gathering his courage. "What if I want to hear it now?"

Hyunjin went very still, his eyes widening slightly. "Chan..." The single syllable of his name sounded like both a warning and a plea on Hyunjin's lips.

"Please," Chan whispered, not even entirely sure what he was asking for.

Hyunjin moved then, abandoning his position at the foot of the bed to edge closer, until he was sitting beside Chan, their faces only inches apart. His hand came up slowly, hesitantly, to cup Chan's cheek, his touch feather-light.

"I've been in love with you," Hyunjin said softly, each word careful and deliberate, "for so long that I don't remember what it was like before."

Chan's heart soared, his breath catching in his throat. The confession, so simply stated yet so profound, left him momentarily speechless. Hyunjin's eyes searched his face, looking for any sign of rejection, any hint that he should retreat.

Instead, Chan leaned into his touch, his own hand coming up to cover Hyunjin's where it rested against his cheek. "I think," he said, voice unsteady with emotion, "I've been waiting to hear that without realizing it."

Hyunjin's breath hitched. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying," Chan murmured, gathering his courage, "that I feel the same way. I just didn't know how to admit it.. to myself or to you."

For a moment, Hyunjin looked almost stunned, as if he'd never truly expected his feelings to be returned. Then, slowly, a smile spread across his face, transforming his features with a joy so pure it made Chan's heart ache.

"Can I..." Hyunjin hesitated, his gaze dropping to Chan's lips. "Can I kiss you now?"

Chan's answer was to lean forward, closing the distance between them. Their lips met in a kiss that was gentle at first, tentative, as if both were afraid the other might pull away. But when Chan's fingers threaded into Hyunjin's hair, pulling him closer, the kiss deepened, years of unspoken longing pouring into it.

Hyunjin's hand slid from Chan's cheek to the back of his neck, holding him close as if afraid he might disappear. The kiss was everything Chan hadn't known he needed… tender yet passionate, a confession more eloquent than words.

When they finally broke apart, both breathless, Hyunjin rested his forehead against Chan's, his eyes closed as if savoring the moment. "I've wanted to do that for so long," he admitted, his voice raw with emotion.

Chan smiled, his heart fuller than it had been in years. "Why did you stop yourself earlier? In the bathroom?"

Hyunjin opened his eyes, meeting Chan's gaze. "I was afraid," he confessed. "Afraid you were vulnerable and I was taking advantage. Afraid you might regret it when you weren't in pain and didn't need me."

Chan's heart swelled with affection. "I've never needed anyone the way I need you," he said softly. "And I don't mean just for helping me when I'm hurt."

Hyunjin smiled, his eyes suspiciously bright. "Good, because I'm not going anywhere." He shifted, carefully arranging himself beside Chan on the bed, mindful of his injured feet. "Is this okay?"

Chan nodded, settling against Hyunjin's chest as the younger man's arm wrapped around his shoulders. The position felt natural, as if they'd been doing this for years rather than minutes. "It's perfect."

They lay together in comfortable silence, the weight of unspoken feelings finally lifted from both their shoulders. Chan felt lighter than he had in years, despite the lingering pain in his feet. For the first time in a long time, he didn't feel alone with his burden.

"The others will be back soon," Hyunjin murmured after a while, his fingers idly tracing patterns on Chan's arm.

Chan hummed in acknowledgment, not wanting to think about reality intruding just yet. "What do we tell them?"

Hyunjin pressed a soft kiss to the top of Chan's head. "Whatever you're comfortable with. We don't have to figure everything out tonight."

Chan looked up at him, touched by his patience and understanding. "Just one thing, then."

"What's that?" Hyunjin asked, meeting his gaze.

"Stay with me tonight," Chan said softly. "Not just until the others get back. All night."

Hyunjin's expression softened, a smile curving his lips. "Try to make me leave," he replied, tightening his arm around Chan. "I dare you."

Chan laughed, a sound free from the weight of pretense and leadership and responsibility.. just pure, unbridled happiness. He leaned up to press another kiss to Hyunjin's lips, marveling at how natural it felt, how right.

As night settled over Rio de Janeiro, the sounds of the city filtering through the window like distant music, Chan found himself thinking that maybe, sometimes, it was okay to not be the strong one. Maybe sometimes, the greatest strength was in allowing yourself to be vulnerable, to be seen, to be loved.

And as he drifted off to sleep in Hyunjin's arms, the pain in his feet forgotten in the warmth of newfound love, Chan knew with certainty that whatever challenges tomorrow's concert might bring, he wouldn't be facing them alone.

Not anymore.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

[leeknowswifesblog]

There was something about the way the shadows kissed his face, like even the darkness couldn’t stay away. I watched him quietly, memorizing the curve of his lips and the way his eyes held stories I would spend lifetimes trying to understand. He didn’t need to say a word ♥️ just existing near him felt like love in its gentlest form.