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Keanu Reeves loves Wong so much that, after she reached out to his people with a long-shot ask—would the very busy movie star appear in the aforementioned rom-com (and not, by the way, as the male lead)?—he not only agreed but requested an audience with her, in which he quoted some of her stand-up and launched into an impromptu martial-arts interpretation of her specials. Exceedingly modest, she only admits this after I press her for details of the meeting: “I watched both specials…. You took no prisoners,” Wong recalls Reeves saying. “You were like”—she gestures karate-chopping the air, then mimes biting a grenade and throwing it.

Ali Wong for Vanity Fair, May 2019

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crowley’s literally what you’d get if loki had good taste and was scottish. we do stan.

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ive eaten shrimp exactly 5 times in my life, always with gusto and an utter lack of self-restaint, and each time has ingrained itself in my memory as distinctly nightmarish when they ended with me ralphing it all back up within the hour. i thought this was reflective of my hubris and insufficient fear of god, but it is only as i write this post now, crumpled to my knees on the floor of this eresto’s bathroom after eating half a baja taco and recalling that my dad is allergic to shellfish, i realize perhaps the issue is not with a higher power, but with a deeper one. biology.

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SNL Weekend Update: May 18th 2019, Leslie Jones on the new abortion laws

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When the whole party is down but your bard is up

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the flat earth society bought a $20,000 super accurate laser gyroscope to prove the earth doesn’t rotate 15 degrees per hour and they kept getting results that proved it does so they kept altering the test to try and make it not drift 15 degrees but it didn’t work so they just said “well we still don’t believe it and we have other stuff that proves it so whatever”

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Reese Witherspoon is not wrong

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omg

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📸 Rami Malek on the set of Mr.Robot. they made him a cake for congratulated him for his Oscars. this is so cute.

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John Mulaney’s next bit: I was walking down the carpet at the Oscars and everyone started cheering, I thought I had finally made it. Then I looked around and there was Captian fucking America.

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You gonna throw up or are you gonna smile?

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WHY ARE YOU RUNNIG

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interesting that ellen page gets a bunch of hate for calling out the anti-gay rhetoric and practices of the hillsong church, but people rush to support chris pratt and his weak statement about how the church is “totally open to everyone” because they apparently helped him through his divorce

interesting that chris evans is about two seconds from punching donald trump on twitter everyday and gets praised for it, meanwhile brie larson is similarly political and speaks out about sexual assault and inclusion in hollywood – and gets branded as an “sjw” who’s going to “turn people away” from her upcoming movie

interesting

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I AM DECEASED 😭😭

for the love of god UNMUTE this