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leftanchorstudentthings-blog · 8 years ago

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A Part of Me

I am L.A Joco., 18 years old and I’m from Bataan. This is a part of my story.

Once in my life, I’ve experienced a chain of events which felt like a decade encapsulated in a week. It happened so fast that I didn’t even had the chance to breathe, it’s like a trance that voluntarily entered my mind and because of its forceful gate-crash into my mind and heart; it eventually, left a wound that will forever be in the depths of my heart.

I grew up with my grandparents because my mom and dad had to work for 10 hours a day which is worth about 125 php at that time, just to sustain and support our daily needs. So, obviously, I was left at home with my grandparents all day.

That also means that I have more or less than 24 hours of adventure with my grandparents everyday for approximately 7 years. Not until, I had to undergo the gradual establishment process of school life into my system. My grandpa was a fisherman who owns a big fishing boat named “Everlasting” that sailed through Manila bay down to the South China Sea to make a hard turn to the Freeport Zone to sell all the fishes that they caught to the buyers of Subic Bay. But unfortunately, i didn’t have the chance to be a part of their daily grind/ adventures. Every day, after my grandpa’s work, we would grab some ice cream, stroll at the park and probably, sit there while we enjoy the cool ocean breeze (because the park in our place is close the ocean). Every day for the 7 years that was my daily activity always shared with the man that I look up to until, this very day of my life. For the first 12 years of my childhood, I enjoyed every single part of it, realizing that the pros of our life outweighs the cons.

Not until, one seemingly normal day came. It was a gloomy afternoon in November 12th. We ,“the living room crew”, as I would like to call it were all watching the afternoon TV shows, delightfully, except one and that was my grandfather, he’s not his usually self. He was quiet, pale, motionless and blank from the looks of his face. So, I came up to him and asked, “Ano pong problema, Tatay? and he replied saying, “Wala, medyo inaantok lang ako.” But still, I worried for him all day long. AND THIS IS IT. The darkness of night sky ruled over the vast universe up above, star-less and the moon was as morbid as it is today for me, as if its frowning in pity for what’s about to take place; foreseeing the agony of a child’s heart. At 7pm to 8:30pm, Me and my brother were playing at the other side of the large bedroom that we shared, while our grandfather lied at the bed seemingly immersed in his slumber. 8:35pm, I felt an eeriely overwhelming beating in my chest but I thought, it was an instance that happens every once in a while for a kid like me and also because of what my doctor said, that my heart and my lungs were both weak when I was born, but it wasn’t. I was wrong. Moments later, My grandfather called saying, “Tawagin mo ang papa mo.” I flurried into the staircase, making my way to our living room where my papa was watching the evening news. We both made our way upstairs in a rapid fashion like mouse dears running for their lives when they heard a gunshot in the middle of the wilderness. Soon, all the people in the house were wide awake busy in helping my grandfather to our family van. The agony has began. Millions of pessimistic imaginations were creeping into my mind. I cried ceaselessly in my room; only to wake up in the morning, mistakenly thinking that the morning rain was audacious enough to get its tears into my bed because I felt the wetness of my pillow, but I was wrong it was my tears which drenched my whole pillow. For 3 days, I was extremely optimistic about his return;that he will come back stronger as ever like what he told me when my grandmother was ill. He told me, “You must be strong, hardworking, courteous, responsible and loyal for the people you love.” until....

Once in my life, I’ve experienced a chain of events which felt like a decade encapsulated in a week. It happened so fast that I didn’t even had the chance to breathe, it’s a trance that violently entered my mind and because of its forceful gate-crash into my psyche and heart; it eventually, left a wound that will forever be in the depths of my heart.

THE time has come inadvertently. We were all waiting in one room; a room in which anxiety, pain, tranquility and hopefulness clashed to take control of. Hopefulness that evaporated as soon as that loud and devious knocking on the door killed the air in the room. The man in white said, “He’s having a heart attack.” And for the last time, I saw myself running for the man whom God called to be my beloved Grandfather, but this time I was not laughing at all; instead i was drowning in tears. Tears of fear. Tears of longing. Tears of anxiety. Tears of losing my superhero. Tears that came down from the face of an innocent and loving child to the cold, heartless and silently witnessing floors of the hospital’s hallway. I stood at his bedside, overwhelmed with pain and a feeling of betrayal because he said at our last stroll in the park, “Wait for me, I’ll come back.” but like that same instance, I realized that he isn’t coming back for me so, I need to walk audaciously on my own.

7 years had passed since the most agonizing and painful week of my young life, but like what my beautiful and faithful grandmother would always say, “All things work together for those who truly love the Lord.” And by all of these, I can say that who I am and who I will be in the future will forever be my indelible debt to my grandparents and to the abundance of love that they’ve showered us with for the entirity of our existence in the face of the earth. I will forever treasure his sayings and well-rounded and proven teachings in my mind and my heart. Thank you for reading my story. I hope that God will use my story to give you a realization or something that will be of considerable importance to your own story. God bless :)

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