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[legolasinmordor]

It’s hard not to overthink. Especially when he seems to put everything before our relationship. I know his career is important, his company dinners are important, his friends are important. But whenever he does not make time for me, I feel like I’m second choice. I know he’s busy at work but, I can’t help but feel neglected.

You’re sick and you still attend those Christmas dinners. So why can’t you at least take the time and meet me for an hour? You’re leaving for your trip soon for fuck sake. I haven’t seen you in 3 weeks. It’s gonna be a month when you’re back from your trip.

I don’t know. I just feel I’m not important enough.

[legolasinmordor]

new love

It’s intriguing.

It’s refreshing.

It’s healthy.

[legolasinmordor]

Our Favorites: [Day 20/24] Anastasia’s Favorite Sad Scene (The Hobbit) ↳ Thranduil tells Legolas about his mother

[legolasinmordor]

freedom smells great

List of things I can finally do without you:

- eat ice cream

- have cold drinks without hiding

- turn on airplane mode to have alone time

- have alone time

- have days to just relax

- talk to my friends without having to explain who they are and why am I talking to them

- have friends of the opposite gender

- talk to people of the opposite gender without explaining to you why

- be respectful to people, smile at people that smiles at me

- go out with my parents without getting your permission

- spend time with my parents without having to look at my phone to reply you

- having to meet you every single day because you can’t deal with not meeting me everyday. Wow.

- going shopping and walk about anywhere I want.

- wear anything I want to wear.

- meet my Best Friend in the whole wide world without having to deal with your guilt tripping.

- reconnect with my school friends because you don’t like me talking/meeting up with them.

- walking around eggshells when talking to you

- having to call you immediately after you leave the bus stop

- being myself.

[legolasinmordor]

thankful

I must admit, losing you took quite a toll on me emotionally. I’ve felt like I’ve lost something. And all these feelings were felt before we have even officially broken up. It’s like I’ve finally woken up from all these and realised that you’re not good for me. It took me quite awhile. But it’s fine. I’ve woken up. Finally.

Maybe that’s why the pain wasn’t that bad. I wasn’t crying like before. I wasn’t hurting badly. I wasn’t losing my appetite. I wasn’t having suicidal thoughts. Because I’ve cried everything out when it happened a year before. I’ve let everything out. There’s no more tears to cry for you.

Moving on, I’ve realised how much of my freedom you have taken away from me. How much control you had over my life and I was just okay with it. I’ve changed myself for you so much that I don’t even recognise myself.

So now I’m fixing myself. Fixing on going back to how I was before while keeping the good things I have learnt from this relationship and removing the bad. I feel like I’ve learnt so much from this relationship about loving myself. Because you can’t love someone without loving yourself first.

I am thankful for this relationship & the memories that it has brought. But it’s time to get going. It’s time to do what I love now. It’s time for freedom. It’s time for me now.

[legolasinmordor]

“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.”

— Oscar Wilde

[legolasinmordor]

I want your ice cream melting on my tongue.

[legolasinmordor]

Breakup with your girlfriend, I’m bored.

[legolasinmordor]

“You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place. Like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you’ll never be this way ever again.”

— Azar Nafisi, Reading Lolita in Tehran (via hplyrikz)

[legolasinmordor]

[legolasinmordor]

“I still catch myself feeling sad about things that don’t matter anymore.”

— Kurt Vonnegut (via hplyrikz)

Clear your mind here

(via hplyrikz)

[legolasinmordor]

Give me something that will haunt me when you’re not around.

[legolasinmordor]

-

My heart hurts so much

The feeling of emptiness

The void

The loneliness

Everything.

I’m feeling everything now.

It’s so overwhelming

I can’t take this.

I can’t live with it.

—————————————

I want that feeling back.

That euphoric feeling you gave me

That hope.

That happiness

That feeling of being loved.

I live for that feeling.

From you.

—————————————

It’s total darkness here.

I’m tired.

I can’t find a way out.

I’m tired.

I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel everyone is talking about.

I’m tired.

I’ve tried and tried.

I’m tired.

I’m going in circles. It’s going nowhere.

I’m tired.

I can’t get out of this heartache.

I’m tired.

Save me.

[legolasinmordor]

[legolasinmordor]

[legolasinmordor]

Clear your mind here

[legolasinmordor]