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[leileisa]

video girl [ kenma kozume x reader ] 

⌙ kenma’s not too sure what his feelings about you are.

video girl who rocked my world for a whole two seconds, and now i know i’m not about to be another victim of the video girl syndrome

part of the love is on it’s way series [masterlist] 

word count: 1.1k

genre: fluff idk it’s cute tho

if someone were to ask kenma what he loved, he would say video games.

he’s played them his whole life. ever since he was a kid, he’s been addicted to having his eyes on a monitor with some sort of electronic in his hand, be it a keyboard and mouse, a controller, or his switch. he’s grown accustomed to the all genres: the thrill and precision needed in first person shooters like call of duty or overwatch, or the relaxing music and mindless playing in games that require much less concentration, like minecraft or animal crossing.

every button and key is almost part of him, and the repeated noise of persistent clicking provides an unwavering form of familiarity that calms him down.

he thinks that if someone were to ask him why he was so addicted to them, his answer would simply be ‘because it’s different’. different scenery, different methods, different themes that create new worlds that are so unlike the one he’s living in- it’s a reassurance that there’s always a way to escape.

kemna loves video games because they’ve always been part of him.

“what are you thinking about?”

but then- then there’s you. a refresher from the false realities that he indulges himself in daily.

yet “nothing,” is kenma’s response to your question.

“it’s impossible to think about nothing,” you say, and for a second he thinks you sound just like kuroo, “plus, it has to be something important. you’re not playing anymore.”

he lets out a quiet ‘huh?’ when you say that, but when he looks at his monitor and then his hands, he sees that, while lost in his own mind, he has stopped playing. “oh, sorry.”

he can hear you shuffle on his bed behind him, and not long after that he feels your weight on the back of his chair, leaning it forward. “no need to be sorry,” you tell him with a laugh, “i was just wondering if you were okay. i’ve never seen you stop playing like that.”

“it’s nothing,” kenma says, as quiet as he always is, and gets back to his game.

“you sure?” you ask, and kenma can still feel how you’re leaning on his chair.

“yeah,” he says, and his heart swells. you’re so caring- too caring, kenma thinks, to someone like him. he knows he’s quiet, and unapproachable- he always has been, ever since he was a kid. he keeps almost all his thoughts to himself and he’s not one to step out of line. he has no idea why someone like you- someone who’s always been bright and optimistic, someone who’s always been people’s first choice to go to in a time of need, someone who’s willing to give another person their all just to make them happy would be with someone like him.

someone like you- who’s everything he’s not.

“if you say so,” you pout, and he can tell you’re thinking about it a little too hard. the two of you have been friends long enough for him to tell how far your mind travels by your tone of voice, and he knows that you’re worrying about him. so kenma saves his game and when the glaring light from the title screen shines back at him, he turns off his computer.

“do you want to go get some food?” all he hears is your hum in response, and when he turns to look at you, he’s met with the sight of you laying on his bed fiddling with his nintendo switch.

“are you hungry?” he tries again, and you look his way.

“are you?” you ask, putting the device down, “i can go order something, if you want.” he knows you’re asking him because he’s not a fan of going out, and doing anything unnecessary, but he can’t help but feel a little guilty when he thinks about having you go out and get something for the two of you- just because you know he wouldn’t want to do it.

so he stands up and takes his headset off, and the rustling he makes in the process causes you to look up at him. “no,” he says, “i’ll go with you.”

and as you smile at him, a smile that’s so soft, so caring, so you- it makes his heart sore and he can feel the heat rushing to his cheeks.

in that moment, he takes a good look at you. you’re really pretty- beautiful, even- just standing there, smiling at him. your eyes are soft and gentle, and he thinks it’s a perfect representation of you as a person. there’s no hardness when it comes to you, nothing fake or artificial. for all the time that he’s known you (which has almost been two years), you’ve always been completely natural and raw.

when the thought comes to his mind, he can’t help but revel in the irony. aside from kuroo, his best friend since childhood, he’s surrounded himself with artificial things. his electronics: the t.v., his computer, his switch (which he’s noticed you have taken a severe liking to).

you’re the sweetest breath of fresh air he’s had in what seems like forever, and there’s an odd feeling in his stomach when he thinks about it.

it’s your voice that breaks kenma from his thoughts, a ‘yeah?’ followed by a small laugh.

“what’s wrong?” he asks you, but you just laugh at him, a big grin on your face.

“kenma, it’s like eleven at night,” you say, and kenma’s intense eyes just blink in confusion.

“so?”

“there’s not really a place to go for a quick snack,” it’s a yawn that separates the first sentence, and kenma can’t help but think you look cute when you yawn. “i was just going to order something on uber or door dash.”

“oh, sorry.” he says, and you just give him a reassuring smile.

“it’s convenient,” you grin at him as you sit back on his bed, switch already in hand. ��you get to play your computer games, and i get to go back to redoing your whole island on animal crossing.”

kenma just smiles at you- a soft smile that you don’t see because you’re already too focused on renovating, but a smile that’s filled with adoration and appreciation. to him, you’re the embodiment of perfection, his complete opposite, but the butterflies kenma feels in his stomach are the undeniable confirmation that’s he’s utterly and hopelessly in love with you.

and so when he sits back down in his seat, still smiling and chest warm, he knows that he’d have a real answer to the question “what do you love?”.

taglist: @noya-sleftankle​, @crayonwriting​, @aonenthusiast​, @nekogakuro​

►send an ask/dm me to be added to the taglist!

[leileisa]

sucker [ daichi sawamura x reader ] [ gang! au ]

    ⌙ daichi would follow you to the end of the earth, and he wants you to know that.

say the word and i’ll go anywhere blindly,  i’m a sucker for you

part of the love is on it’s way series [masterlist]

word count: 1.4k

genre: fluff

warnings: soft daichi but like also mentions of killing

“don’t you think it’s funny that a group of crows are called a murder?”

it’s a quarter ‘till eleven at night, almost time for the two of you to go to bed, when you ask him this. your head is resting on his thighs as you lay across the couch in your boyfriends living room. the t.v. across from you provides to be a soothing background noise. daichi blinks, eyes heavy from almost falling asleep, and he looks down at you. you’re looking at him with eyes filled with curiosity, but there’s also a faint glimmer of mischief, and daichi feels his chest swell.

“i think it’s ironic.” he responds, covering his mouth with the back of his hand as a yawn trails after his words. he brings it down to softly cradle your face in his palms, and you can feel his thumbs rub soothing circles on your temple. you press a kiss to the inside of his right palm and hum.

“it’s very ironic,” you say, “that your little crew of bad men is named after them.”

daichi can’t disagree with anything you say, because it’s right- he does have a crew of bad men, and they are named after  crows. but he’s proud, his men are intelligent and adaptable, and they’re damn near the best people he’s ever met.

“we did it on purpose,” daichi tells you, eyes looking at you with such adoration in them that it makes you met, “we’re one of a kind.”

his words are a reminder of one of the reasons you fell for him- his humility. sure, he’s a leader of one of the most infamous gangs in miyagi, but he views all of his men as equal. he’s well aware that each men is built differently, with different skills in different places, but they’re all talented and useful and part of his family.

it’s funny, because the first time you met his friends, they told you that they were scared shitless of daichi- that he was, without a doubt, the scariest person they’d ever met. they told you that he’s super strict, and an absolute monster when scary, but you just laughed. because despite being the responsible leader a notorious gang, daichi was the sweetest person you’ve ever met.  

you know that, even in a life of crime, daichi always looks for the good in people. and once he finds it, he does everything he can to enhance it. you’ve seen it with the most recent members- some boys who have very prominent personalities, and who you were, admittedly, a little worried for at first but seem to shine brighter every day. but you know that daichi has faith in his newbies, with how much he gushes over them when the two of you are alone, and you’ve put your full trust in your boyfriend. so you just take one of his hands and give it another kiss, and intertwine your fingers together.

“yeah,” you agree, “certainly one of a kind.”

daichi just squeezes your hand harder.

there’s a comfortable silence that overcomes the two of you, and the buzzing of the t.v. nearly lolls you to sleep. daichi’s body warmth is nearly enough to make you sweat, and his strong arms that are wrapped around you provide to be the best security blanket in the world. which is, one again, ironic- you know that the arms that make you feel safe have held other criminals in place after they put up a struggle, that his fists have sent people to hospitals, and that his fingers (the ones you kiss every night, to remind him that there’s some things that just have to happen) have pulled triggers and taken lives. but ironic is perfect, because you know that the man you love would do anything in his power to keep you safe.

“it’s getting late,” daichi reminds you, “we should get to bed soon.”

“mmm, we should,” you give him a tired smile, “but i’m so comfortable here.”

“you know, it’s a possibility that it’s even more comfortable in my bed.”

after a moment of contemplating, you decide that he’s right. the couch, as plush as it is, wont be nice to your body if you were to sleep there the entire night, and sleeping right next to your boyfriend is just more endearing than sleeping on his nice thighs.

“okay,” you say, a bright smile on your face “but only if you carry me.”

daichi laughs, patting your stomach twice as a sign for you to get off of his legs. “such a princess,” he whispers to himself as he rolls his eyes and gets up from the couch. you’re sure you’re meant to hear it when you respond with a quick ‘your princess’, and he just laughs again.

“you sure are,” he agrees, “c’mon, let’s go.”

you look at him with pleading eyes and a baby from on your face because last time you checked, you were supposed to be carried. so you just stare at him, refusing to move, until daichi just shakes his head with a small smile.

“ok, princess,” he says, and within a few seconds daichi’s arms are wrapped around your frame and you throw your arms around his neck. “you ready?” he picks you up with little to no struggle, and you’re quick to wrap your legs around his waist and put your head in the crook between his neck and shoulder.

“thank you,” you hum, kissing his jawline. “i love you.”

“i love you too,” he says, kissing you on the lips. you laugh into it, pulling him closer to you. his lips are soft tonight, and not the dry and chapped ones you’re used to kissing after his long, stressful days. you tell him this as he puts you under the covers of his silk sheets, and daichi runs his thumb over your lips gently. “i’m learning how to take care of myself.”

“haven’t you always?” you ask him, eyes following his form as he walks to his side of the bed (well, technically, it’s all his side because it’s bed, but this is your side when you stay over). once he’s next to you, he pulls your back towards him, and the warmth you felt under the covers is nothing compared to your boyfriends sturdy chest.

“i’m learning how to take care of myself better,” he corrects, and you feel one of his hands play with the hem of your shirt, “that way i can take care of you, too.”

“why do you need to take care of me?” you ask, reaching to hold the hand that is by your stomach.

“‘cause of what i do,” he mumbles, pressing his face into your hair. his breath is warm on your neck gives you goosebumps, and you shiver. “i just need to make sure you’re safe. always.”

“i’m always safe with you, daichi,” you whisper, kissing his fingertips, “i’ve never felt unsafe with you by my side.” it’s a reminder for him, because you know he gets nervous. he doesn’t do it an awful lot, and nights like these are few in far between, but it breaks your heart. it’s silent for a moment, the two of you just basking in each others presence, as daichi plays with your fingers.

“if i asked you to marry me, what would you say?”

he says it so quietly, a whisper that you’re not sure you were supposed to hear, but daichi squeezes your hands.

“i’d say yes,” you tell him, squeezing his hand back. you can feel him relax behind you, and he kisses your neck.

“that’s good,” he tells you, in-between neck kisses, “because i don’t know what i’d do without you.”

you turn around so you’re laying face-to-face, and hold his cheeks in your palms. he’s looking at you with his eyes half-lidded, and you can tell he’s tired. “you don’t have to know, dai,” you whisper, kissing him. it’s a soft kiss, full of love, as daichi pulls your face closer to his. “i wont leave you.”

“i’d do anything for you,” he promises, staring into your eyes; it’s so intense, and it’s nothing unlike the usual daichi, and your heart swells so much you feel like you might combust, “i love you.”

he’s got almost everything he could possibly want: money, power, you. but you’re so innocent, so pure, so perfectly you that he’s sure he doesn’t deserve you. you’re his breath of fresh air in a world of smoke and toxic haze, and it was hopeless to not feel addicted to you.

and sure, being with daichi sawamura is dangerous. he’s dangerous. but loving a dangerous man is a story you willing to write the ending to.

taglist: @noya-sleftankle​, @crayonwriting​, @aonenthusiast​, @nekogakuro​

►send an ask/dm me to be added to the taglist!

[leileisa]

hold on [ kuroo tetsurō x reader ] [ soulmate! au ]

   ⌙ kuroo has been against love since the very beginning, but maybe you can give him something to hold onto.

when you love someone, and they break your heart   don’t give up on love, have faith restart

part of the love is on it’s way series [masterlist]

word count: 2.2k

genre: fluff? kinda? maybe a little angst

warnings: timeskip spoilers, arguments

ever since he was young, kuroo has had multiple interactions with lady luck.

but he knows that she’s not picking on him for every single thing he does, because he’s had one too many valuable experiences throughout his life that, when he looks back on, makes a soft smile break out on his face in content. he’s well aware that lady luck has been especially kind with his friendships- he’s so thankful for every single person in his life, but he’d be caught dead before being sentimental to their faces. she’s also been generous with his success and his smarts, and while he knows that he worked hard in school, opportunities like his didn’t come out of thin air.

kuroo tetsurō knows that he’s living a life that others would kill to have, and he’s appreciative of his good luck; he wouldn’t change the opportunities that he was given for anything. but with all the good that lady luck has given him, he can’t help but bear the overwhelming weight of hating the one thing that others hold so dear to their heart, the thing that clutches the hearts of everyone around him so tightly and refuses to let go.

he thinks that people who believe in love- in their soulmates, specifically- are foolish. not stupid, or dumb, just unaware of the deceitful illusion that was marred onto their skin that they believe to be their ‘one, true person’. they’re fools because they haven’t seen what love can do to people. it’s destructive, dangerous, an unstable hallucination that people cling to on the belief that it’ll make them happy, and it’ll satisfy their need to be loved. their expectations of love blind them from the reality of a fabricated assurance that was never actually promised to them- just idealized in order to create a society that was dead set on believing.

but believing wasn’t enough, not whenever you’re a product of a  mother and father who separated because their love for each other had crashed and faded away into nothing-ness. it was obvious, after a short period of time, that they were tired of pretending; the fighting, the screaming, and sometimes even short bouts of violence that haunted his childhood. he remembers crying himself to sleep nearly every night.

kuroo despises that people can love blindly. he doesn’t see a reason why a phrase that magically appears once you turn eighteen should determine who you’re supposed to fall in love with. he used to argue that he hated soulmates because there was no scientific reason behind them, that it was almost impossible for the universe to have a perfect match for everyone, but even his science-obsessed self couldn’t put it off for so long (he got tired of saying “magic isn’t real, so why are soulmates?”). so he decided that his person would be a person he chooses, not someone that was picked out for him.

but after numerous arguments with his friends, he stopped bringing it up. nobody besides kenma, his best friend, knew why he was so against soulmates, and he wanted it to stay that way.

when he turned eighteen, kuroo can’t say that he wasn’t a little bit excited to see his tattoo, his tattoo that would show what the first thing his ‘soulmate’ was going to say to him. it was like a mystery game; was it going to be something funny, a witty pick-up line, maybe? or was it going to be an apology- maybe you two bumped into each other on accident. the possibilities were endless, and it was exciting to see what would be on his skin forever. but there was no way that he believed in soulmates, or that this person would be his person forever.

but when his tattoo finally showed up, at the ass crack of dawn on his birthday, right on the inside of his pinky finger (which was really weird, because he’s never seen that on any of his seniors, ever), he knew that lady luck was on his side.

‘sorry, but no.’

it was almost ironic- actually, it was totally ironic, that the first things his soulmate would say to him was something so bland and boring. it actually gave him a sense of relief, knowing that the first thing that this person would say to him is a dismissive apology, and it only fueled his distain for soulmates even more.

the satisfaction that he got eventually led to him forgetting about his mark, and it helped him focus on his future. in a way, he was thankful for his soulmate for his tremendous success.

it helped him live more freely, to live without restraint, when he talked to people. it was almost impossible to completely avoid the topic of soulmates, but he didn’t care. he wasn’t worried about what others thought of him, because it was his life. he lived it however he wanted. and if there was anything that his mark told him, it was that his soulmate wasn’t interested in him either.

kuroo was incredibly charismatic, and he knew how to keep a conversation. he knew of so many things, old and new, that kept everyone he was talking to on his toes. he flirted endlessly with people, and it didn’t hurt his feelings when someone turned him down. he knew how people were fully committed to a person they had yet to meet, or had already fallen in love with. he respected other people’s decision, because he knew what is was like when people disrespected his.

but lady luck had a twisted sense of humor.

it was just supposed to be a get together with his friend, bokuto. catching up, he called it, after months of being busy with their adult lives. the two sat at a fancy restaurant (past them would never believe that they’d be successful enough to spend this much money on food), dressed head to toe in suits that made the middle-class drool with envy.

“still not feelin’ the whole soulmate thing, huh?” bokuto asked, closing the menu. there was so many options it was overwhelming, but he knew what he wanted (he wasn’t the type to explore his tastebuds).

“don’t think i ever will,” kuroo replied, meeting bokuto’s teasing eye contact.

“that’s so funny,” the professional volleyball player said. kuroo was proud that one of his closest friends got so far with  his passion, but who in their right mind would let an overgrown child on the court?

“how so?” he prompted.

bokuto grinned, leaning onto the table. he was cautious not to knock over the expensive alcohol. “i met someone the other day,” he said; kuroo groaned, and he awaited for an upcoming tale of what he assumed to be bokuto’s soulmate encounter, but was instead met with: “who has the same feeling about soulmates that you do.”

“oh really?” kuroo had met a select few who had the same thought process as him. well, theirs more steered on the ‘how can a soul be split in two’ while his was more like ‘i’ve seen how faulty soulmates can be’.

“yup,” bokuto said, popping the ‘p’, "you guys should talk!"

"i think i'm okay," kuroo responded, taking a delicate sip of his whiskey. it stung as it went down, but what's to enjoy in life if there's little pain?

"no, seriously," bokuto stated, getting his phone out of his coat pocket. "you guys should talk. you two have a lot in common."

the noirette rolled his eyes, leaning back in the cushioned chair. "how so?"

"you guys both can't get a date." bokuto grinned, holding the phone up to his ear, “let's see if she picks up."

"haha," kuroo said, voice monotone, "very funny." he was a little ticked that bokuto was calling a girl during thier friend-date, but once bokuto had his mind set on something, trying to get him to stop was impossible.

he saw bokuto’s eyes gleam with mischief when the ringing stopped, and kuroo thought he heard a “what do you want?” coming from the other end.

“you know how you talked about never being able to get a date?” bokuto asked. he didn’t wait for your response before he handed the phone to kuroo with an overly eager nod.

“sorry, but no.”

kuroo’s throat went dry as his mind instantly raced to the words that were tattooed on his the inside of his smallest finger. suddenly, he’s anxious. his heart stops, and his hands are starting to get sweaty. he doesn’t know what to say-

“i’m not going on a date with you, bo.”

it doesn’t make sense, kuroo thinks. you weren’t talking to him, you didn’t know he was the one who had his phone to his ear, so how- just how were those the same words that were supposed help him find his other half?

the lack of response obviously confused you, and he heard a small ‘bo?’ from the other side of the phone. he couldn’t help it, he told himself, that he thought your voice sounded beautiful. you were supposed to be perfect to him, but there’s no way that you were actually meant for him. so with a wary glance towards his friend, kuroo got himself together.

“well, that’s just not nice.” he said. he’s surprised he didn’t stutter, with how his heart was still racing. maybe it’s the faint amount of alcohol in his veins that provided little comfort, but he’d take what he could get.

for a moment, kuroo is afraid. he’s afraid you’ll hang up on him, because if bokuto said you two have the same view on soulmates, he feels like you’d run away. not because you’re scared of the commitment, but because you know what being a soulmate entails. he knows that the most frightening thing to him is being forced to love someone, and the endless possibilities that could follow. he’s afraid because he doesn’t know the outcome, and he assumes you feel the same way. he tells himself that it doesn’t mean anything if you hang up.

but you stutter for a second, at a loss for words, just like he was. there’s silence on your side, and he knows you figured out that you’re supposed to be meant for each other. he waits for it, the monotonous beeping to show that you’ve ended the call, but-

“have you met bo?” you ask, voice quiet. “he’s-“

“a lot,” kuroo finishes, and he knows that he’s done for.

he’s lived his whole life telling himself that the connection and relief you feel when you meet your soulmate isn’t real. he rejected the thought of soulmates since he was little. but even he can’t ignore the feeling of his swelling heart as a smile breaks across his face. it’s an overwhelming sense of comfort that flows through his body, and he can’t do anything to dwell the overall pleasantness that he feels inside from just talking to you.

you, his soulmate, the person he told himself he was never going to give a fading chance because there's no way that he'd love someone just because the universe told him to. you, his soulmate, the person that he wants to hate so much because he doesn't believe in a love that's set in stone for him. you, his soulmate, the person that he didn't choose.

“yeah, a lot,” you agree, and he hears you let out a small chuckle- it’s a blessing to his ears, “and ugly.”

kuroo laughs, because that’s definitely not how anyone would describe the professional volleyball player, and he knows you say it in jest.

“you wouldn’t go on a date with him because he’s ugly?” he asks, saying it loud and clear for bokuto to hear. his friend lets out a loud ‘hey!’, loud enough for you to hear, and his suspicions are only confirmed when he hears you let out a snicker. the conversation is cut short when the phone is snatched out of his hands, and kuroo laughs again as bokuto hangs up the call after telling you ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.’

"i'll send you her number," bokuto says with a pout on his face. and kuroo can't wait. once he feels the vibration of a notification that bokuto did, in fact, send your contact to him. he doesn't hesitate to send you a quick text.

[kuroo tetsurō to you]      would you go on a date with me?

he curses lady luck. he's mad that, within a span of less than two minutes, he might change his mind on soulmates. he's scared because he knows that, if he goes along with what fate has in store for him, he might get hurt. he can't lie and say that your voice wasn't magic to his ears, and that he can't wait to hear it again, but he has to pace himself. if he throws all the caution that his past has given him, he's can't help but think that his parents divorce would have taught him nothing.

but it was so easy to talk to you, even if it was to make fun of your mutual friend. even as bokuto's pouting at him from across the table, kuroo can't fight the grin that's been on his face for the past few minutes.

[you to kuroo tetsurō]      idk, are you ugly too?

kuroo just hopes that you're both willing to give this whole soulmates thing a chance.

taglist: @noya-sleftankle​, @crayonwriting​, @aonenthusiast​ (there was one more ask that i forgot to save the name of! im so sorry ☹︎ )

►send an ask/dm me to be added to the taglist!

[leileisa]

a little bit longer [ oikawa torū x reader ] 

⌙ oikawa thought that breaking up with you was for the best, but when he sees you smile without him, his heart breaks.

all this time goes by, with still no reason why, a little while longer and i’ll be fine

part of the love is on it’s way series [masterlist]

word count: 1.6k

genre: angst

warnings: talk of insecurities, post-break up

oikawa likes to think that he doesn’t make a lot of mistakes. but he’s human, and he knows that it’s impossible to be perfect- it’s the thing that keeps him up at night.

but he can’t help but strive for the top- he is the great king, after all.

tōru oikawa is broken inside. nobody seems to notice, because he’s put on the front of the flirtatious, childish volleyball captain who is so perfect and flawless to the naked eye. but he’s built his cover out of insecurities and self-doubt that destroy his mind and hack at his confidence until there’s nothing left but the rubble of his dissolved character that’s been dead for years. it’s the relentless pressure that he puts onto himself that’s sabotaged him from the inside out.

his ceaseless practicing has taken a massive toll on his body, but he can’t stop- he’s the captain, it’s his job, his duty, it’s his responsibility, to be the one his teammates look up to in a time of need, and he can’t be that person if he’s flawed. so he pushes himself past his limits, not ignorant of the consequences, but gives it a blind eye, because failure isn’t an option.

he’s unsure of a lot of things, but he covers it with confidence. however, there is one thing he knows, the one thing that he’s sure of, and it’s the one thing that he would never doubt.

tōru oikawa loves you. he realizes that trying to convince himself that he doesn’t is a hopeless feat in itself, because he’s so in love with you that it almost kills him.

he’s loves how you’re so independent- you’re strong-willed, and stubborn. you’re the living embodiment of ’i don’t need someone else to make me happy’. he loves the way that you’re so kind to everyone, despite your confidence. you know you’re pretty (everyone does, it’d be impractical if someone said otherwise), and smart, but you treat everybody as your equal. on the outside, you have every reason to think down on people, because he thinks that it’s so obvious that you stand on a pedestal above everyone else.

he knows that he was blessed with good looks, and his love for volleyball helped boost his popularity around the school. he knows people would fall down to their knees in mere seconds for him. most times, it’s a relief. he can’t help the bit of pride that swells in his heart when girls come up to him and tell him how much they love him. the satisfaction that pleases his ego is only as strong as the as a wall built from scraps of paper, and it falls down in destruction once the onslaught of reality kicks in. they don’t know him, he realizes, they just see what he wants them to see.

it took him a while to acknowledge the fact that he wants to be like you. you’re so effortlessly perfect, and the world seems to revolve around you. there’s no sense of rush when he sees you take your sweet time helping others. you’re always the first person kneeling down and helping others pick their fallen stuff, or to hint that there’s food in their teeth. you always tell them in such a way that saves their dignity from your stealthy consideration. everything about you is perfect, and you’re so meticulous in every action you take.

every time he agrees that yes, he’s head over heels in love with you, it breaks him even more.

you’re too kind, too perfect for someone like him. you’re everything he wants to be, and everything he tells himself that he’s not.

but it’s too late for him, now, because he’s made a mistake. a mistake that would surely follow him until the end of time, one that lingers over his head insistently like a dark cloud that refuses to provide any comfort that maybe, just maybe, he did the right thing.

he made a mistake, one that’s too big, too late to go back on. he can’t fix this one with an ‘i’m sorry’, or a promise to be better, because he messed up so bad that he can’t help but laugh at himself for being such a failure.

he lost you, and he did it on purpose.

he had you right beside him. it felt like everything was right in the world. you smiled at him, kissed him, laughed with him. you were his, just as much as he was yours. he’d do anything for you, and he told you that every day. he told you how much you meant to him, how you’re the light in a world full of darkness that just never seemed to relent. he told you that he loved you, every day. or, he used to.

he used to, because he thought that having you was ruining you. you didn’t see it, but he saw how sad you got when he couldn’t hang out with you because of practice. he could see right through your fake smiles and soft ‘it’s okay’’s, because he loved you so much that he knew what it was like when something wasn’t sincere with you. and when he started to see you smile less, or to force yourself to be nice to people, he knew that broke you.

he couldn’t live with it- the guilt, the endless harassment from himself that told him that he was so imperfect that he ruined one of the only good things in his life. he was such a broken human that he started breaking you, and knowing that almost killed him as much as loving you. but he knew that he couldn’t live like this, with you, the embodiment of perfect, being broken because you were in love with someone like him.

at first, he tried telling himself that he didn’t love you, and that you were doing it to yourself. that it wasn’t his fault you were acting different, because how you act has nothing to do with him, but he knew. he knew that you loved him, just not as much as he loved you.

it wasn’t easy, telling himself that he had to end it. this wasn’t anything like telling a girl from his fan club ‘no’. he’s broken so many hearts, but he’s never broken his. and this was you, his girlfriend, his love. this was so, so much harder, but if he couldn’t do this for you, what kind of boyfriend would he be?

and so, despite how his heart yearned for you, he broke up with you.

he told you that he just didn’t love you anymore (his exact words were “it’s not that complicated, i just don’t want to be with you anymore.” he practiced it nights before hand in the mirror, trying to find the a phrase that didn’t say he hated you but got the point across, just because he hated seeing you as broken as him.). it was a lie, but it he felt like it was something that needed to be done so you could live your life like the person you were before. he needed to clip his own wings, because seeing you soar was a sight so unforgettable. he was willing to let himself crash and burn for you to reach the stars like he knew you would someday. he loved you so much that he had to lose you, because seeing the you that dated him felt like it was a you who was tied down. you deserved to be free. to him, seeing you happy was worth any amount of self-destruction in the world.

he dealt with the pain at first, because he knew that he lost you. he knew that it was his fault, and for a few weeks he was okay with losing himself. but as time went on and the pain never subsided, it was hard to tell himself that he’d be okay. he tried to tell himself that he’d stop loving you, but he was foolish for even thinking that he’d be able to stop something so big and so him.

he finds himself overthinking every time his minds drifts towards you. he doesn’t want to believe that you got over him so fast,

it just hurts him even more when he sees you talking to someone else. it doesn’t matter who it is- it could be the person you’re helping, a classmate, a best friend, but there’s a rift in his heart when he watches you smile and laugh the right way. the way you laughed before you started dating him.

“you need to get over her,” iwaizumi says, looking at oikawa. he’s seen him do this too many times during class or before practice. he’s well aware of the reason why the relationship ended, even if his friend didn’t tell him. he’s known oikawa for years, and he’s pretty accurate at guessing what goes on in his head.

“i will,” oikawa says. they both know it’s a lie, but iwaizumi doesn’t say anything. he’s well aware that oikawa is saying it because he’s trying to get himself to believe it, but with the envious stare that refuses to move off of you, they know it’s not working. iwaizumi turns back to the gym doors.

“we need to hurry up,” he says, “we’ll be late.”

the captain sighs, but follows iwaizumi anyways.

“i’ll get over her,” oikawa says, thoughtless, as he treads onto the wooden floors. iwaizumi just stares at him, his lips tight. yet again, he doesn’t say anything.

oikawa takes one last look behind him, in one last hope to see you smile, but all he’s met with is an empty space. he sighs.

“it’ll just take a little bit longer.”

taglist: @noya-sleftankle​, @crayonwriting​

►send an ask/dm me to be added to the taglist!

[leileisa]

love is on its way

various! haikyuu x reader

a series of independent fics based off of songs written by the jonas brothers

‣it’s alright, you’ll find a brighter day ‣cause love is on its way

 hold on [kuroo tetsurō x reader] [ soulmate!au ]

     ⌙ kuroo has been against love since the very beginning, but maybe you can give him something to hold onto.

when you love someone, and they break your heart don’t give up on love, have faith restart

video girl [ kenma kozume x reader ]

     ⌙ kenma’s not too sure what his feelings about you are.

video girl who rocked my world for a whole two seconds,  and now i know i’m not about to be another victim of the video girl syndrome

l.a. baby [ iwaizume hajime x reader ] 

     ⌙ hajime realizes he left something in california.

it’s the two of us tonight, we can make it last forever we’ll need to realize it’s just you and me together

a little bit longer [ oikawa tōru x reader ] 

     ⌙ oikawa thought that breaking up with you was for the best, but when he sees you smile without him, his heart breaks.

all this time goes by, with still no reason why a little bit longer and i’ll be fine

pushin’ me away [ matsukawa issei x reader ] 

     ⌙ you and matsukawa have been at each other’s throats since the beginning. you’re confident he hates you, but he has other reasons he gets on your nerves.

pushing me away, every last word, every single thing you say pushing me away, try to stop be but it’s already too late

what a man gotta do [ miya atsumu x reader ]

     ⌙ atsumu’s pretty sure he broke your ‘no feelings’ rule.

i’m not tryin’ to be your part-time lover,  sign me up for that full time, i’m yours

lonely [ miya osamu x reader ]

     ⌙ osamu is tired of seeing you get your heart broken. 

i think you should be alone with me, cause we don’t have to be lonely

when you look me in the eye [ kita shinsuke x reader ] 

     ⌙ kita’s so glad he has you.

when you look me in the eyes, i catch a glimpse of heaven, i find my paradise

sucker [ daichi sawamura x reader ]  [ gang! au ] 

     ⌙ daichi would follow you to the end of the earth, and he wants you to know that.

say the word and i’ll go anywhere blindly, i’m a sucker for you

hesitate [ sugawara kōshi x reader ] 

     ⌙ you’ve been by suga’s side since the beginning, and he wants you to know that he has your back too.

i thank the oceans for giving me you, you saved me once and now i’ll save you too

five more minutes [ tsukishima kei x reader ] 

     ⌙ tsukki doesn’t want you to get out of bed. 

give me five more minutes, baby, i’m not finished loving you

pom poms [ bokuto kōtarō x reader ]

     ⌙ bokuto loves seeing you cheer for him. 

more to love when your hands are free, baby put your pom poms down for me

lovebug [ akaashi keiji x reader ] 

     ⌙ you’ve got akaashi wrapped around your finger, but you don’t even know.

i think about your eyes all the time,  you’re beautiful but you don’t even try

X [ terushima yūji x reader ]

     ⌙ terushima loved the way that you danced like you were the only one in the room.

don’t be afraid of something new, if you play it right, you can be that someone who wont leave me lonely tonight

✗ all the songs above belong to the jonas brothers! can i get an amen

©️ leivapats 2020

►send an ask to be added to a taglist!

[leileisa]

midnight encounters [hanamaki takahiro x reader]

pairing: hanamaki takahiro x reader

warnings: none, zip, zero, n/a

word count: 1.5k

a/n: lowkey for @noya-sleftankle​ but nobody tell her🙄

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there was always something about the night sky that made you never want to go to sleep. maybe it was the stillness of the city, with the street lamps that glowed a dim off-white and unforgivingly exposed the empty roads and sidewalks. or maybe it was the cool air that somehow always managed to calm you as you sat on the wooden bench that belonged to the park barely two blocks away from your house with a near-boiling cup of coffee in your hands. though you come out to the park to think, you’ve never actually come up with an answer as to why you like to stay up.

when you hear people talk about sleep, and how it’s ‘one of the easiest things to do’, and how it’s a moment to just forget what’s going on in your life, you feel conflicted. yes, it’s one of the easiest things to do, and yes, it’s also a way to forget, but that’s what makes falling asleep one of the scariest things as well. time flies by so quickly when you’re asleep, and you have no clue what’s going on in your surroundings. it’s like you’re willingly giving up your awareness just for a few moments of peace that you wont ever remember. and when you think about people freely giving away their consciousness, you can’t help but feel unsettled.

maybe you’re just at odds with everyone else in your city, but the last thing you want to do is forget.

to you, thinking is how you learn and improve. in order to grow as a person one has to reflect on their thoughts, and there’s nothing better than to do that when the moon is out and all other distractions that are present during the bustling days are doing the very last thing you want to do: sleeping.

and while doing it at an empty park in the dead of night seems like an unusual place to think, there’s an odd sense of familiarity that encourages a constant endurance of thinking that you can’t ignore. you tend to lose all sense of your surroundings when you’re thinking, and even though it irks you that being ignorant to your surroundings while lost in thought is the same unawareness that someone has when they’re asleep, you’re biased and believe that there’s nothing that tops indulging yourself in your imagination. and yes, you know it’s dangerous, but there’s always a sense in comfort when you know you’re not alone.

“hey there, stranger.”

it’s not exactly a false statement- you don’t know his name, and he has no knowledge of yours. You don’t really have a clear picture as to what he looks like, either. It’s always cold outside when you two happen to stumble across each other, and tonight, it just happens to be snowing. there’s white all around, and jack frost is definitely nipping at your nose, but there’s a warmth that floods through your body when his voice breaks your train of thought.

“hey, stranger.”

it’s not much of a response, but for some reason when you two have these inconsistent interactions, your mind comes to an abrupt stop. it’s unusual, rare, an absolutely almost impossible thing to happen to you, but there’s not really a lot of thinking when this stranger comes around to your park bench. for some reason, things almost come naturally, and no thought is needed.

“sorry i’ve been m.i.a for so long,” he says, clearing off the snow on the bench to sit next to you. it has been a while- a couple of weeks, actually, but you know it’s not his fault. you understand that things get busy. life sucks, you’re well aware, but there’s always things to look forward to. you’d ‘found it hard to admit, at first, but the company of a stranger who avoids sleep just as avidly as you do gives you a sense of relief. “sometimes i think i bother you when you’re out here.”

“it bothered me in the beginning,” you say, handing your hot cup to him when you noticed that he was sporting gloveless hands. “here, it’s cold. i’ve heard frostbite is quite an unpleasant experience.”

he laughs at that, and you can’t help but smile. he takes the cup without hesitation and says a soft ‘thank you’ in response. he knows that the liquid inside is coffee, because you tell him that it is. but he also knows that you’re not one to drink coffee (tea is your favorite, he remembered), and he can’t help but wonder if the only reason you brought it out here is because he mentioned that coffee was his preferred caffeinated drink of choice.

“good thing i’ve got you here to keep me warm, huh?”

you can tell that he’s grinning without even thinking, and when you look up to meet his eyes, you’re exactly right. his face is scrunched up in the goofiest smile you’ve ever seen, and you just shake your head and let out a quiet laugh of your own.

“it’s a good thing that i’m always thinking one step ahead.” you retort, leaning into his shoulder as he wraps the arm that doesn’t hold his cup around your shoulders.

“you’re always so thoughtful,” he says, squeezing your shoulder. “to be honest, that’s why i think i bother you. i feel like i disturb your peace and queit out here.”

“you do,” you agree, “but i don’t mind it when it’s you that interrupting. i don’t have to think when i talk to you.”

“you’re too sweet,” he takes a sip of the coffee you gave him, “again, i’m sorry for being gone for so long. life’s been stressful.”

“you’re never obligated to come see me,” you say, moving the arm around your shoulder into your lap. he intertwines his hand with yours, and the simple yet intimate action makes your cheeks burn a darker shade of pink than they were a few moments ago. “but if you ever want to, you know how to find me.”

he goes silent, and you can tell that he’s pondering hard at something. he’s not one to do this, you know him, you know that he’s more of a ‘speak before you think’ kind of person. he’s biting at his lip and chewing on the inside of his cheek, and you can hear the slight tapping of his finger against his cup. they’re signs that he’s thinking too hard, that he’s probably stressed about something, so you open your mouth to speak-

“you can-“

“i want-“

you both speak at the same time, and it makes the both of you let out a laugh. his shoulders relax as he takes a deep breath, and tells you to go first. “i just want you to know that you can tell me anything,” you say.

“so you promise you wont hate me for what i’m about to say next?” he asks, and you get worried. his thumb is rubbing in circles around your hand, and you place your other one on top of it to try and calm him down.

“i promise.” you reassure him. he shifts his body to turn and face you, but he’s looking at your hands when he speaks.

“i want to see you tomorrow,” he says, and you’re confused. he know’s you’re always here, at the same bench, at the same time at night, and he knows he has your full permission to come visit you, but-

“tomorrow as in tomorrow afternoon, or morning, or-or any time when the sun is out. i want to see you more.” he blurts it out, and you can tell that this, this is the kind of thing that your stranger would say to you. it’s something that’s in the moment, hasty and hurried as he tries to put his thoughts together. but he knows what he’s saying, and so do you.

“ok,” you say. “i’m okay with that.” and the way that he looks at you, with eyes wide and mouth slightly open, and the off-white illumination from the street lamp behind you, you just know that this is a sight that you’ll be thinking about for a vast majority of the future.

“i’ll take you on a date,” he promises, and you just grin up at him. he’s cupping your hands in his much larger ones, and there’s flecks of white on his brown-pink hair, and his smile is so bright you almost doubt that the moon is out.

“you know where to find me?” you joke, because it’s obvious where you’ll be. this is the same spot where you’ve meet countless times in the past months, with the same darkness and quiet that provides you peace of mind.

“of course i do.” you can’t help but feel excited to see what it’s like in the day time, full of kids, adult, dogs and so many other things. it’ll be a completely different change in scenery, but with you can’t help but be reassured in the fact that your stranger will be right besides you.

“i’ll even beat you to it.”

and it’s like hell that you’ll ever let that happen.

[leileisa]

pretty [iwaizumi hajime x reader]

pairing: yandere! iwaizumi hajime x reader

warnings: idk slight mention of sex, yandere, kidnapping, mentions of bondage

word count: 2.9k

a/n: my weakness for handsome, pure daddy material boys is immaculate. 

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He remembers the first time he saw you as clear as day. A new transfer into class five, who came in almost as silent as the night. The teacher didn’t introduce you, unlike how they normally would, and instead just glanced at you as you entered the class silently. Iwaizumi met your eyes for just a second before you headed towards the only empty seat in the room, right next to him. 

That was when he fell in love with the sight of you: absolutely stunning in your looks, yet silent in your movements; a real life goddess. And he was the first person to see you. 

“Hi,” you whispered, trying to pull out the chair as quietly as possible. You were so cute, so considerate, with a slight grin on your face. “My name’s (y/n), what’s yours?” For a second, he thought he wasn’t going to be able to make eye contact with you for a second time that day. He could just tell you were looking at him so gently, and he had a hunch there wasn’t a malicious bone in your body. 

“Iwaizumi,” he said, his voice matching the same hushed tone as his eyes met yours. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Iwaizumi. Let’s have a good year.”

He watched you a lot, after that. He couldn’t get you out of his head. He didn’t even want to— you sat right next to him, and it was so easy for him to observe you. He noticed you used pens for the math and science classes, and pencils for your writing and languages (he realized that meant you were more confident in the classes you used pens in-- how convenient, because he was better at the latter classes). And that when you were confused about something, you bit the inside of your cheeks before letting out a sigh; after that, you’d confidently raised your hand and as for clarification.

Iwaizumi wasn’t the type to believe in love at first sight. He’s seen people fall into its deadly grip one too many times with Oikawa. He always thought it was stupid, how girls fell in love with his friend so easily. Maybe just because he’s been with Oikawa since childhood, but there wasn’t anything exciting about him— besides the fact that he knew how to play people. But Iwaizumi thought it was an obvious act to see through. Now, though, he could totally understand falling head over heels with someone at first glance. 

It only took one second, a singular moment in time, a barely registered eye contact for him to know that you— you were the one. 

It was like a message from God, for you to sit next to him. An opportunity that he couldn’t let slide past his fingers. So he sat next to you, for as long as he could, and just observed you. He knew your studying habits from when you would ask him to study with you, fifteen minutes before class started, just as a precaution. He noticed you always ate the fruits in your bentos before anything else, and you seemed to have an extra bottle of water in your backpack. You weren’t in any sports, but he liked that you tried to keep yourself healthy. 

“You’re in the volleyball club, right, Iwaizumi?” You had asked him once. You looked a little different that day, a little less tired, but you still slide next to him with a lazy grin on your face. 

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi responded, setting down his pencil. “Why do you ask?” 

He remembers the way your grin turned more enthusiastic, more eager, after his response. “I went to your game last weekend! It was amazing watching you play!”

Watching you play.

You watched him play! Not the other third years on the team, him, Iwaizumi Hajime. For a second, he feels foolish; he didn’t see or hear you in the crowd. How did he miss someone who shines as brightly as you in the crowd, cheering for him, watching him play? 

He quickly put those thoughts behind him, because that doesn’t change the fact that you were there. That you watched him play. Iwaizumi couldn’t help the giddiness that spread throughout his body. Is this what Oikawa felt every game when he knew that people watched him? The pure, unadultured excitement that coursed through his veins, a slight shiver to go up his spine that causes goosebumps to explode across his arms? He loved it. He loves you.

“You’re the ace, right?” You’re as gentle but precise with your words as you usually are when you interrupt his thoughts. “Watching you hit the ball so hard was unreal. I had no idea you were that strong! I knew you guys practiced a lot, but I didn’t realize it was a lot a lot. I mean, you guys communicated so easily out there it was like you were telepathic!”

“We’re a team, we have to work together.” God, Hajime, don’t sound like you don’t care. “With the amount of time we spend together, we’re like a family.” 

“That’s so sweet, Iwaizumi!” You gushed, giving him a goofy grin with your hands pressed against your cheeks. “You’re usually so composed, but it’s always nice to be able to rely on people like you do.” 

“You could become our manager.” It was an honest offer, and it came out of his mouth without thinking. I want to see you more.

“I couldn’t,” you sighed. “It’s our third year, and I don’t know anything about volleyball-- me being around would just be a waste.”

“It wouldn’t be a waste,” Iwaizumi was quick to shut you down. “We could always use the extra help with practice. I could teach you the rules— I can help you. You can be part of the team.” We can get to know each other better. 

The words came out of his mouth easily. They were honest, determined. He wanted nothing less than to spend every waking moment of the day with you; if you joined the team, he would have more reasons to talk to you. He could spend more time with you, and he would get to know you more. It would be perfect.

Keeping eye contact with him was hard. Iwaizumi’s full focus was on you, and his eyes were so intense as they stared into yours. You were determined to keep eye contact with him, though, and you just stared back. A sigh, then, “I’ll think about it.” 

Iwaizumi couldn’t wait for your response.

He got his answer a couple days later, when he saw you talking to coach Nobuteru with papers in your hands. Coach had his arms crossed as he looked down at you. You were nodding as your delicate fingers shifted through the papers, taking in every word that coach said to you. He couldn’t believe it— you were there, you took his advice. You were joining the team!

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa said, slinging an arm across his shoulders before Iwaizumi shrugged it off. “A little birdy told me this cutie is in your class, Iwa-chan! How’d you do it?” 

“Back off, Shittykawa.” Iwaizumi growled, harshly shoving his childhood friend out of his personal space. “I just asked her to consider it.” There was no way Iwaizumi would tell Oikawa how he felt, despite them being friends for ages. He knows Oikawa would make a big deal out of it (a way bigger deal then it needed to be, anyway), and there was no way he would risk any potential embarrassment around you. Things were already going so perfectly, and he wasn’t about to let anything ruin his chance. 

A knowing glint shone in Oikawa’s eyes as he just placed his arm back around him. “I’m not stupid, Hajime. You don’t talk to just anyone.” 

“I talk to you,” he retorted quickly, glaring. He made no move to move the eccentric males arm. He would never, ever, admit his feelings to Oikawa. But he couldn’t help the intensity in his eyes as he watched you from across the gym, or the pure elation that spread throughout his body. You were just in his reach, and he could almost taste you. 

“Iwaizumi, hi!” You shouted as you ran across the gym, papers still in your hand, and your gorgeous, illuminating smile on your face.

“Hey,” He said, a fraction of a smile on his face. It was genuine, but he couldn’t be too expressive with his best friend right beside him. 

“I— uh, I took your advice,” you grinned sheepishly, showing him the papers. “I’m joining the team. As your, um, your manager, of course. I don’t play volleyball.”

It was so cute, how timid and insecure you were when you talked to him sometimes. You had no reason to worry, he thought, nothing could change how beautiful you were to him. 

“I can see that,” Iwaizumi grinned at you. He felt his hands twitch; you were so close to him, and you were starting to share likes for the same things. Can’t you just see that you were meant for each other?

“Welcome to the team, Manager-chan! I’m Oikawa, the captain of this team.” As annoying and inconvenient as ever, his enthusiastic best friend (he cringed as he thought of that), interrupted their moment. 

“I know!” You chirped, waving the papers in your hands. “I went to some of your games. You’re a setter, right?” Instead of looking at Oikawa, your face turned towards his dark-haired friend instead. Iwaizumi nodded, and when your attention went back to his friend, he just let out a grin. Iwaizumi’s way of dominance, his way of saying she’s mine. 

It just showed how perfect you were; that you were such a good girl, asking for his confirmation. He could just imagine you asking his permission for things— asking to hold his hand, your soft eyes looking into his with overwhelming adoration, or the desperation as you cry out to him, begging for him to let you come, that you’ll be his good girl if he just doesn’t stop.

After becoming the manager, you and Iwaizumi immediately grew immensely closer. He taught you about volleyball, and you listen intently. You stay late with him when he feels like practicing late with the other third years, and he can’t help the flutter in your heart when you ask to join. You’re not that great— but you’re trying, and it’s just so cute to see you try your best. 

The more he sees you, the more he hangs out with you, the more he falls in love. It’s an endless spiral of devotion, he realizes, every time you cross his mind. He’s absolutely, undoubtedly, in love with you, and just thinking of having you be his makes skin erupt into excited goosebumps.

He never thought that it’d only be a few years later before he could get the real thing. He has you in his grasp, the love of his life living with him, looking just so perfect and exactly how he wants. 

“See, baby? Such a good girl for me,” he coos, his fingers twirling in your hair. “It’s not that hard to just do as I say, you know? If you keep being so good for me, I’ll give you a reward. You want that reward, my sweet thing?”

Your back is aching from sitting upright in the chair for hours on end. The soft pink leather that binds your wrists and ankles to the edges of the chair were tied just a little too tight, the slight numbing in your hands, though not enough to distract you from the bathroom mirror that you were facing. Soft pastels, pinks, blues, and even yellows surrounded you. The only thing standing out in the reflection was the black shirt and pants that Iwaizumi was wearing as he stood behind you, gently combing your slightly damp hair. Your body shook as tears threatened to spill across your waterline, bottom lip shaking.  

Iwaizumi pulls at your hair. “Answer me, baby girl. Be good.”

“Yes,” you whisper, eyes never wavering from your reflection. He wanted you to see just how perfect you were in his eyes, with soft hair that was styled the same way it was in high school. The last time you shut your eyes to try and escape the visual nightmare, you hadn’t seen anything for days. Iwaizumi locked you in a dark room, chained to the bed with a metal collar and chain that allowed almost no movement, and had barely fed you anything until you were a sobbing mess, telling him how sorry you were— that you wouldn’t make that mistake again, that you would be good. 

You still have the bruises around your throat as a reminder. 

“Yes, what?” He spoke, voice stern and commanding. His body went straight and rigid behind you, grip still tight on your hair, as if he was showcasing the ring of purple and blue around your neck as a suggestion to not test his patience. 

“Yes, sir.” You repeated, voice trembling. You swallow the lump in your throat in an effort to not cry, but you couldn’t help the sob as a few tears flood down your face. 

“Don’t cry, baby,” his voice lowered into a soothing whisper as he released his grip on your hair to rub your scalp. You watch as he brings his face close to yours. Iwaizumi pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, an action that would make your heart flutter and swell with adoration if the situation had been different, and his lips trail until they reach your ear. The closeness of his face and the warmth of his breath does nothing to help you calm down, and you cry harder. “You’re so pretty, see? So perfect for me. My perfect girl. There’s no reason to cry.”

“I would have said yes,” you say quickly, eyes looking at him in the mirror. You can see him pause, so you continue. “If you asked me out, I-I would have said yes.” His body shook slightly in the mirror, and you could hear his deep chuckle from right beside you.

“I know,” he said. “I watched you for months. I saw everything you did, you think I didn’t notice the way you looked at me?” Iwaizumi moves from his hunched over position, and you can see him move directly behind you.

“Look at me.” 

Your eyes immediately meet his in the mirror, and he just grins at you. He fists your hair, painfully, and pulls your head back until you feel the cramp in your neck. 

“No, baby. I said look at me.” 

Your eyes move from the mirror and look into his. It was always scarier, when you looked at him face to face. The mirror made it feel like there was a barrier between the two of you, some form of protection, but looking into his eyes was so much more painful. The pure, uncontrollable, raw passion that shone in his eyes like an untamed fire that refused to die out was what scared you the most. It scared you how much he cared for you.

“Still so pretty for me, even when you’re crying.” His thumb gently wiped the tear stains from your cheeks. He brought his tongue to the edge of his mouth, the appendage slowly peaking between his beautiful lips and delicately wiping the salty tears he collected away. “You know I love you, right? I’d do anything for you.”

Your heart is racing, neck still cramping in the uncomfortable position. Your head stings from the painful grip Iwaizumi still has on your hair, but you refused to avoid eye contact. 

There’s still a part of you that thinks that there’s still the Iwaizumi that you met years ago, your old seat mate, the first person you felt close to at a new school, is still there. The first person you considered a friend in the most stressful year of your life, and the one who invited you into his boisterous, overwhelming volleyball family when you expressed your jealousy. The one who just looked out for you when you felt like nobody else would. 

“Then-then let me go,” you plead, eyes begging him to just listen to you. “I’ll be good, you know I will. I’ll be your good girl if you just let me go.”

“Oh, my pretty baby.”

You can see his brows furrow, but he lets go of his deathly grip on your hair. You follow his figure as he goes to sit on the bathroom counter in front of you, his forearms resting on his thighs with his broad chest slightly hunched over. His tongue shoots out to lick his lips, and he clicks his tongue. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Ple-please, you know I won’t do anything to upset you. I’ll stay with you, just please let me out. I hate these!” You say, trying to move your hands and feet. All you feel is the rawness and resistance against them. “They’re too tight, a-and they’re uncomfortable. Please take them off,” You’re begging at this point, full-blown tears falling across your face. You have enough mobility to reach your head to place it on his thigh, and you look up at him from between his legs. “Just take them off, Iwaizumi, please!”

He just sighs, and you feel his fingers lightly trace across your face as you close your eyes. Iwaizumi holds your head between his hands as he lifts your head off his thigh, and he presses a tender kiss right between your eyes. You hate it, but you can feel the love and care he puts behind it.

“I can’t do that,” he whispers, pressing two more delicate kisses on your eyelids. “You’re just too pretty.”

[leileisa]

if daichi told me to take care of myself i’d never drink soda ever again AND i’d get 8 hours of sleep every night

this man would whip me right into shape— yessir🥴🤤

ship your moots!! pick a few mutuals and ship them with which hq boys you can see them with and why! 🤪🤪

LMAO THIS TOOK FOREVER also i have quite a few moots but i don’t talk to a lot of them?? which made this v v hard so i only put the 2 moots i talk to on a regular basis LMAOO SO IF UR NOT HERE SORRY I LOVE YOU <3<3

@al3x1ss - this is lichrally the easiest thing in the world LMAO akaashi ofc!! i feel like you’re both organized & focused but you’re deffff more chaotic than him which adds a nice ✨spice✨ to life hehe — if i didn’t ship u w akaashi the runner up would be osamuuu just don’t get rice stuck in ur coochie :0

@leivapats - also kinda easy?? idk in my head you’d go rlly well w mr dadchi LMAO but no rlly he’s sexy, d o m i n a n t, && he’d force you to take care of urself!! like drinking water & getting enough sleep & not overworking urself to death 🙄 — the runner up i gotta say would probably be either suga or akaashiii

[leileisa]

the sun [matsukawa issei x reader]

pairing: yandere! matsukawa issei x reader

warnings: yandere, kidnapping

word count: ~1.2k

a/n: lol i would do anything for this handsome hunk of a man🤩

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Matsukawa Issei loved the feeling of the sun on his skin. He appreciated the knowing tell-tale sign of the slight burning on the tip of his hairs that was undeniably going to lead to a barely-there sun burn. Sometimes, he thought that the tenderness of his skin made things feel more real. 

When he had the time to sit outside, he could forget everything. He could forget what he does for work— all the sadness, the death, the horrible smell of dead people that surrounded him every day. He hated it because it irritated him. Normal people couldn’t stand what he does for work. 

Matsukawa let out a laugh. 

He knows that he doesn’t deserve to be classified as “normal”. He’s lost all sense of feeling from his job: there was no sense of remorse when people showed up to the morgue and talked about their loved ones. He knew that they would forget the pain from losing them eventually. They always did.

The cycle, he realized, was always the same with his clients. They went through their five stages (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) without flaw. He just thought it was so unfair that he had to deal with everyone in the fourth stage-- it made his work just that much more gloomy. The fact didn’t change that people seemed to be more calm after the ceremonies, and that gave him a sense of relief. Seeing so many people cry over one person just made him angry: he knew some cried because they were truly sad, but the others cried because of how many people were crying. But they all left the building with dried eyes and a tiny smile.

Time really was all people needed in order to heal, he supposed.

And with all that feeling of sadness, some of which even seemed coerced (or fake), was why Matsukawa loved the feeling of the sun: it just radiated happiness. There was no negativity in the way that the sun shined brightly and without hesitation. There was no fake feelings when the sun was out, everything was clear and there was no reason to hide anything. The shining never stopped, either, the earth just turned until it the darkness overturned it. 

The first time you walked into his office, and greeted him, he gave you no special attention. And you took notice of his indifference right away— the bags under his eyes, the creases in his eyebrows, and the way his mouth seemed to be in a permanent frown. But that didn’t stop you from smiling at him when you sat into the chair across from him.

“Hey now, don’t give me the cold shoulder. Isn’t there already enough of those in this place?”

Your joke (as unexpected and inappropriate as it was for someone to make on their first day), made him do a double take.When he looked towards you, with that confident smile like you knew you had a joke that was just morally wrong but incredibly funny, Matsukawa couldn’t help the deep laugh that escaped him.

“What, you’re saying you don’t think we have enough room for more? It’s a pretty big building, after all.”

It took a different kind of person do what he does for a living, and he never expected someone like you to apply. You seemed pretty mundane on your application, with it pristine and professional to a max; it was exactly what he was looking for. But when you showed up, all smiles and funny jokes, he was imminently intrigued. 

He figured that’s why he liked you so much: you resembled the sun. He doesn’t think he had ever seen you without a smile on your face, or that special twinkle in your eyes that only you seemed to carry. There was such a gentleness in your voice, too, when you talked to people— you always knew the exact thing to say to people when they were grieving. Somehow, you always ended up making his clients seem less depressed.

Yes, that was definitely why Matsukawa liked you. Your brightness outshone all the darkness and depression he saw on a daily basis. He couldn’t be more thankful that you had started working under him; seeing you walk into the building in the mornings, giving him that beautiful smile, and he knew that it was going to be a good day. 

The more you were around, Matsukawa noticed, the happier he was. He smiled more often, his mind was clear, and sometimes, he was empathetic to his clients because he could relate to the sadness they felt. He felt it, too, every time you weren’t around. 

He noticed he would frown the every time it came around for you to go home, and he would go home a little more angry every night. He thought about what you did when you finally got home— were you still happy and shining, or was it all a facade? Did you shower before you went to bed, or did you shower in the mornings? 

And while Matsukawa loved that you brought so much happiness and joy into his life, he hated that you had so much control over his thoughts without even knowing. 

He figured out you showered in the mornings, when he started paying more attention. Your hair was always a little damp, but it was so effortlessly perfect that he never really noticed it. But once he did, he couldn’t stop noticing other things about you, too: like the way when you got a little excited, your fist would clench as a tell-tale sign of your enjoyment, or the way that when you were totally engrossed in your thoughts, you had your pen or pencil dance between your forefinger and ring finger. Every time he saw you do that, he wondered just how perfect your hands would look with a ring on your finger.

But now, with the sun shining on his skin, it’s a constant reminder that not only does he have you in his life— but he has you. Completely. 

Matsukawa knows that the sun never stops shining, but that doesn’t change the fact that the moon comes and darkness overcomes everything.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He grins, opening the door to your room. It was bright and happy— just like you were when he first met you. You looked different, though, now. Your eyes were red, and he could tell you had been crying. 

You were shaking, too, and hiding under the covers like they could hide the big bad monsters that kids were scared of. You didn’t have a reason to worry, anymore— he was there to protect you. He wouldn’t let anything hurt you.

“Sorry I was gone for so long,” Mattsun says, “working without you makes the days drag by so slow.” There’s a dip in the mattress as he sits next to you. Just the sight of you, laying down in his house, makes him feel better. He runs his fingers through your hair, delicately— he doesn’t want to scare you, but he can tell by the way you’re shaking that he’s failed.

But that’s okay. He knows that change is scary, but he’ll be with you every step of the way. You were there for him when all he could see was the darkest outcomes that plagued his dreams, and now all he can think about how happy he is now with you in his life. And even while you trembled under his light caress across your cheek, and new tears running down your face, he knew that you just needed time to get used to this.

 He just figured that right now, the moon was out, and the sun would shine bright soon.

[leileisa]

we stan some big bootie bitches🤪

TWAS FUN!! thank y’all who came to play and sorry for calling you some trifling ass hoes 🥺<3

when y’all wouldn’t just come w me to watch me do trash & just voted me out: