lelapinmasque

[lelapinmasque]

Casting Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in a youth theatre environment is a unique experience because the children all say “Veruca’s parents are wrong for insisting she can have whatever she wants! They don’t even listen to Mr. Wonka who is in charge!”

And I have to agree knowing full well some of their parents have been emailing about how their child didn’t get the part they want.

[lelapinmasque]

The next time brennan wants to make up a language code cipher thing he needs to go FULL TOLKIEN in that bitch. Like. Have symbols be for phonemes not for letters. Have weird accents that denote grammatic structure and cultural interpretation of the phoneme. Make it so that if Siobhan DOES figure out what it says, she can't translate it. She knows what all the characters sound like but she wouldn't know what the combination of sounds means unless she has a dictionary. The Siobhan VS Brennan (aka, childhood spy VS Professional DM) antics will only be fueled by this but also I think it would be funny.

[lelapinmasque]

trans girls are always so good at everything hey what do those red dots on that plane mean

[lelapinmasque]

Kiss thy knights

[lelapinmasque]

Listening to Hotel California on the store radio and they muted the word "kill" when he says "but they just can't kill the beast" like what are we doing here has humanity not suffered enough

[lelapinmasque]

apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

[lelapinmasque]

Great idea: A nature documentary about the most scientifically accurate, realistic, and lovingly rendered dinosaurs, but it's narrated by just some guy who knows nothing about dinosaurs and is also really fucking high. Like just going

"Holy shit look at this guy. Fuck look at that fella. It's like a parrot with fingers. It could probably open a coke can. Look at him go."

Dinosaur: KAAA! :V

[moved to tears] "Holy shit you're so right little dude. No idea what you're saying but you're so right."

[lelapinmasque]

again that rat man thing wheres the fucking post

[lelapinmasque]

[lelapinmasque]

Tumblr, I propose a battle of wits!

I have put Iocaine powder in one of these two goblets. You choose, then we both drink.

[lelapinmasque]

I haven’t done anything for 4 hours but watch whatever cartoon loads up next so anyways there’s a whole episode of american dad bout klaus the fish dating an ancient malevolent wraith

[lelapinmasque]

“if you’re sensitive to sounds when sleeping, just use earplugs!” i cannot stress enough that the sensory feeling of having my ears fully blocked AND now being able to hear my own heartbeat and breathing and every other sound that’s happening inside my own body is a million times worse than whatever ambient noise may be keeping me awake

[lelapinmasque]

in honor of the Lilo & Stitch remake being a huge piece of shit here's a comic about what the original meant to me as an 8 year old

[lelapinmasque]

[lelapinmasque]

[lelapinmasque]

[lelapinmasque]

I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.