lememequeen - Tumblr blog

[lememequeen]

but i did forget the email to this account!! im also very very busy at the moment, this wasnt such a good idea i dont think

[lememequeen]

im not dead wtf

[lememequeen]

Your shoulders slump and you sigh shakily into his ear, resigned.

"I-" you swallow and the words die on the tip of your tongue. This would be easier if you didn't notice the faint scent of nicotine embedded into the fabric of his shirt, or the way he's clutching at you like he's afraid you'll disappear if he let's go.

That's probably a little too true to be comfortable, and you stifle a sob against his shoulder.

"Sorry." It comes out a little more cracked and insincere than you wanted it to; you make a face and clear your throat, drawing back just enough so you can make sure he knows you mean it. "I'm sorry." 

> Jade: Return.

It takes a moment, but you just step forward and wrap your arms around her, pulling her into a hug.

You’d been watching Mei Ling, but now your face is in her long, messy black hair and you never want to move again. You love her hair, you love the feeling of her in your arms, and unless she pulls away, you quietly decide not to let go. 

"I missed you," you manage to whisper. "I always do."

[lememequeen]

You catch your bottom lip between your teeth before it has a chance to wobble.

There's paws on your feet and a snout at your knees, sniffing and woofing and slobbering like you'd only been gone a few hours instead of a few months; ike you hadn't completely abandoned her. She rears up on her hind legs, looking pretty goofy with her tongue lolling out the side of her mouth, and you almost choke on your own saliva because she's gotten so big.

After a minute of licking at your toes- your bare toes, you suddenly realize, and you kick yourself mentally for forgetting to put on shoes- Mei Ling seems content with the fact that you're still you and promptly sits right at your feet, looking between you and Karkat until you get the idea.

Granted, it takes longer than it should have, but you eventually get the courage to lift your chin and focus on the tired, tired man in front of you.

"Hi," you manage, clamping down on your lip again once it's out. The ring in your pocket suddenly becomes about twenty times heavier than before.

> Jade: Return.

When Jade finally arrives, you’re lounging on the couch, and doing your best not to fall asleep. It’s late, and you’re exhausted, as always, but you can deal with it. You just have to not fall asleep. Your clothes are much - some worn out jeans, and an old t-shirt. Your hair is a tousled mess, but you figure Jade wouldn’t really care much - hers, most likely, wasn’t much better.

Mei Ling, as usual, is right beside you. Every now and then she paws at your lap to pet her more, and each time, you let out a sigh and oblige until she stops all together.

The second you hear the knock on the door, you look up, and almost immediately stand. Mei is there before you, barking happily and wagging her tail. When you get there, you quickly open the door to find Jade standing there, looking the same as she always had. Nonetheless, your heart leaps at just the sight of her, catching in your throat.

Out of loss of words or actions, you mumble a pathetic, “Hey.”

[lememequeen]

> Jade: Return.

And, man, is this long overdue.

You tug on some old jeans that are a little too loose around your hips and pull your hair back before considering yourself in the mirror. You're only halfway decent, but you don't have the time to dwell on little details. Karkat's seen you at your worst, anyway, so you don't think a little dishevelment will put him off too much.

Hopefully.

You shake the thought and pull the tie out of your hair- it makes you look too neat, maybe even slightly pretentious- before bringing up the mental image of home. Your home.

No. His home. You heave a sigh and wait until the static in your ears fades back into silence.

He's not on the porch this time, but you don't blame him. You'd get tired of waiting around for you, too.

You make a face at yourself before rapping softly on the front door.

[lememequeen]

doomedleader replied to your post:doomedleader replied to your post:doomedleader...

OF COURSE I DO. COME ON OVER.

[lememequeen]

doomedleader replied to your post:doomedleader replied to your post:doomedleader...

WHAT? NO. WHY?

you still want me to come back, right?

or did you change your mind

[lememequeen]

doomedleader replied to your post:doomedleader replied to your post:doomedleader...

ANYTHING OUT OF ANYTHING THAT MAKES SOMETHING HOT IS DANGEROUS THAT WAY. MY POINT STILL STANDS.

are you busy tonight??

[lememequeen]

doomedleader replied to your post:doomedleader replied to your post:dont eat pizza...

YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL! ANYTHING OUT OF THE OVEN IS DANGEROUS THAT WAY.

they were actually out of the microwave

[lememequeen]

doomedleader replied to your post:dont eat pizza rolls theyre dangerous

DID YOU BURN YOURSELF?

yeah!! :(

[lememequeen]

dont eat pizza rolls

theyre dangerous

[lememequeen]

yeah

i

yeah

i cant promise anything, but ill come back for a while i suppose

I WAS KIND OF HOPING YOUR ANSWER WOULD BE SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES.

…WILL YOU COME BACK, THEN? PLEASE?

[lememequeen]

you cant pull that card on me and expect me to be able to say no

JADE.

JADE, LISTEN TO ME, AND LISTEN CLOSELY, JUST FOR ONCE. ALL I WANT IS FOR YOU TO COME BACK, AND TRY TO STAY HERE WITH ME. MEI LING MISSES YOU, AND I THINK AT LEAST SHE DESERVES TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

I DON’T WANT TO MAKE ANYTHING OFFICIAL, NOT UNTIL WE TALK THIS OUT COMPLETELY CALMLY, AND IN PERSON. THAT’S ALL I ASK. THAT’S LITERALLY IT.

PLEASE.

[lememequeen]

yeah, i

i dont really know how to fix this

i have a feeling that if i just disappeared forever, that it would probably be for the best

thats the only solution i can think of because no matter how sorry i am, no matter what i do or say or think, there will always be that doubt in your heart that one day ill leave again and youll be stuck waiting for the rest of your life which isnt fair to anyone

so why not just make it official now???? you can have the house and the dog and the ring because even if thats the opposite of what i want, its still whats best for you and thats all that matters to me now

I DON’T HAVE MUCH TO SAY MYSELF. I’M NOT GOING TO YELL AT YOU OR GET MAD OR ANYTHING SO DON’T EXPECT ME TO. IN ALL HONESTY, I’M JUST GLAD YOU’RE BACK AGAIN. I WISH YOU’D STAY.

YEAH, THOUGH. IT’S ABOUT TWICE NOW. YOU WEREN’T HERE FOR VERY LONG THE LAST TIME YOU CAME BACK.

MOST OF ALL, I’M JUST DISAPPOINTED AND SAD THAT YOU KEEP LEAVING FOR SO LONG WITHOUT MUCH WARNING. I’M DONE GETTING MAD AT YOU AND STARTING A WHOLE DAMN FIGHT. I LOVE YOU, AND I FEEL LIKE THAT’S ALL THAT’S NECESSARY TO SAY HERE. AT LEAST, ON THIS SUBJECT. I LOVE YOU, AND I MISS YOU WHENEVER YOU LEAVE, EVEN IF IT’S JUST FOR AN HOUR.

[lememequeen]

TUMBLR USER LEMEMEQUEEN

[lememequeen]

and theres dave right on time

[lememequeen]

i was going to be stubborn and argue with you, but youre totally right?? plus, its not really fair to waste what time we have fighting over something stupid

who knows when ill disappear again???

im going to say this one time and one time only so you better take a screenshot or something so you have proof later

but im sorry

i was thinking of listing the things im specifically sorry for, but the goal here is not to make you feel guilty and then go easier on me!!! by all means, yell and scream and be mad because i totally deserve it for ditching you like, what, twice now????

feel free to continuously point that out throughout this conversation, because im a total jerk and deserve to be constantly reminded of my mistakes

and no, im not being sarcastic

STOP RIGHT THERE, JADE.

PAUSE. CEASE. DON’T YOU EVEN FUCKING THINK ABOUT STARTING EVEN TRYING TO GO DOWN THAT ROAD. BECAUSE THAT RIGHT THERE, JADINE HARLEY, IS THE BULLSHIT ROAD. MOST IMPORTANTLY, WE DON’T TALK ABOUT *THAT* ROAD.

BUT NOW YOU’RE TRYING TO GO DOWN THAT DREADED, CURSED ROAD, AND I STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU DO NOT. THAT ROAD ONLY LEADS TO MORE BULLSHIT LIKE ARGUMENTS AND UPSETNESS.

YOU KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION. DON’T TRY TO ACT LIKE YOU DON’T, BECAUSE I KNOW IT’S ALL YOU GOING DOWN BULLSHIT ROAD, AND YOU KNOW THE DIRECTIONS.