lemongrass77777 - Tumblr blog

[lemongrass77777]

I think we should make more marauders era OCs, like half the characters are practicing made by fans anyway and I do rarely see people make regular OCs for this fandom. I have several of my own, I’ve just yet to post anything about them, but I’m gonna change that soon. Like I’ve always said, be the change you wanna see in the world.

[lemongrass77777]

you've got me writing bible fanfiction

ive never read the bible or been involved in the church

im sorry why im not at all religious myself!! what did i say that made this happen

[lemongrass77777]

Have you seen the crap they're putting on children's television nowadays? When I was a kid, TV shows made for us were meant to do one thing: sell toys. Now they're all about doing fun activities with your friends, and learning about your responsibilities to greater social harmony. No wonder capitalism is flaming out like a Boeing stock option.

Thing is, even with this renewed focus on teaching children not to be useless, cranky ultra-consumers, the shows don't exactly teach valuable skills. Yeah, yeah, I know, interpersonal discussion, knowing about recycling, outer space, Freudian psychoanalysis, how to make change. All that stuff is covered, and it's fine, but it seems like shows are expecting parents to fill in the gap with these skills. Skills the parents often don't have. The cycle needs to be fixed, and it's television's role, as always, to tell people what to do.

Kids should be learning about the different kinds of screwdrivers, basic wiring, how to replace floor moulding, and what sorts of chemicals might inadvertently create bombs. If there's time, they can cover less practical information, like how to drive an unsynchronized manual transmission in a Detroit Diesel. I'm not asking for too much: I think children do not necessarily need to know how to operate a Lenco unless they're planning on going drag racing, which is a sign of excellent parenting already.

That's why I've bought the rights to the entire back catalogue of The New Yankee Workshop, and recruited a pop starlet to sing a new earworm of a theme song. We're gonna chop up the existing episodes with lots of fast transitions, exploding effects, and a dance party at the end. Wouldn't you rather your toddler ask you for a scroll saw for Christmas?

[lemongrass77777]

A year ago I got an anonymous message telling me that everything I post has already been foretold in a medium-sized book that they found in an eagle's nest in 2008. Now every time I publish a post they tell me where in the book it was foretold. Like they send a message just saying (for example) "page 85 line 10". The book isn't in order, so it's become sort of a personal hobby for them to find each day's post, and eventually cross out all the posts in the book, kind of like a birdwatcher's checklist. Once I asked them why they don't just send me the book so i know what posts to make and they responded:

three reasons. 1, the book is very wormeaten. theres still enough left to match up ur posts to the posts in the book (tho sometimes it takes MUCH scrutiny!) but not nearly enough that u could write the exact post just from seeing the remaining text. 2, dont u enjoy coming up with posts? it seems like a lot less fun for u to just copy them out of a book. 3, some of the posts contain information about ur future that u definitely wouldnt want to know yet. u couldnt handle it.

[lemongrass77777]

I just can't suspend my disbelief about anteaters. It doesn't make any sense that a mammal that huge can keep its body sustained eating just ants and termites. "Oh but they raid hundreds of nests per day and eat thousands and thousands of them!" Dude, I feel like even you must know you're reaching here. Come on.

It's a shame, because the idea is genuinely really cool, a big fluffy guy whose main deal is slurping up insects with its crazy tongue, what's not to love. But they went too far and felt the need to make that gimmick its ENTIRE food supply, and then it just... doesn't work! Nobody would be complaining if it ALSO ate some berries or something every once in a while! Your worldbuilding is allowed to have some nuance!

And I guess they tried to address this when they made the aardvark by introducing the aardvark cucumber, which is a special melon-looking fruit that only aardvarks care about and which supplements their mostly insect-based diet. Which... okay to be honest I think that's a really ham-fisted and dumb solution, but at least it's something.

[lemongrass77777]

I can make anything about prongsfoot if i try hard enough

[lemongrass77777]

funniest character dynamic in the world to me is when you have one guy knows hes gay but doesnt realise hes in love with his best friend and another guy who knows hes in love with his best friend but does not know hes gay

[lemongrass77777]

When people get a little too gung-ho about-

wait. cancel post. gung-ho cannot be English. where did that phrase come from? China?

ok, yes. gōnghé, which is…an abbreviation for “industrial cooperative”? Like it was just a term for a worker-run organization? A specific U.S. marine stationed in China interpreted it as a motivational slogan about teamwork, and as a commander he got his whole battalion using it, and other U.S. marines found those guys so exhausting that it migrated into English slang with the meaning “overly enthusiastic”.

That’s…wild. What was I talking about?

[lemongrass77777]

Everyone's short if you're tall enough

[lemongrass77777]

i found this on pinterest, i didnt make it but i love it soooooo

[lemongrass77777]

taylor will never do anything as funny or iconic as this ever again

[lemongrass77777]

Chastity kink guy who is also a prison abolitionist: the only cages people belong in are—

[lemongrass77777]

since the cowboy and the samurai were both dying out in the 1800s i want an action adventure historically wildly inaccurate comic about the last cowboy and the last samurai teaming up BUT one of them is gay and the other doesn’t understand what being gay is and there are multiple comedic mishaps resulting from this

[lemongrass77777]

russia commits ecocide in Ukraine

[lemongrass77777]

D:

Noooo

I guess I have sufficiently annoyed thee but at what cost?

This man loves u

i will turn asks off do not dest me.

[lemongrass77777]

You can take the apartheid out of South Africa but you can never take it out of a white South African

[lemongrass77777]

krillix is that-?

you lick one pussy and no one cares, but you lick 23 rocks and youre the rock licking guy forever, SOCIETY *inhuman screaming noises*

krilling self