lensandpens - Tumblr blog

[lensandpens]

My love,

When I say I LOVE YOU,

I mean I'm willing to bleed night by night,

down on my bending knees,

begging the moon to let this love remain beyond forever

and after thousands of that.

I love you more than anyone in this universe.

wawie

[lensandpens]

HIS SIDE; HER SIDE

I broke up with him today

SHE BROKE UP WITH ME TODAY

I told him I wasn’t happy

SHE SAID SHE WASN’T HAPPY

He didn’t even ask me why

I WAS TOO HURT TO ASK WHY

I thought he would ask me to stay. But he didn’t

I WANTED TO STOP HER FROM LEAVING.

He just let me go

BUT IF SHE’S NOT HAPPY WITH ME, THERE’S NO WAY I CAN MAKE HER STAY

And just like that

SO I JUST LET HER GO, AND JUST LIKE THAT.

I lost the guy I’ve waited for so long

I LOST THE GIRL I’VE BEEN DREAMING FOR SO LONG.

[lensandpens]

MONEY OR HAPPINESS? THAT IS THE QUESTION

When I was in high school, I always think of what would I become when I graduate from college. I was worried. I was anxious at some point because I don’t know what will happen to me, simply because I have a lot of things in mind and I don’t know what to go for. I torn between what will make me rich and what will make me happy. So as early as 16 I tried to go with what would make me rich. I tried putting up businesses that at some point in life, I gave up. I became too tired of a lot of things that exhausts me from doing something that doesn’t make me happy. Then I found out that money is not the only thing that gives me stability. As time goes, I went to the other side of the graph, employment. It was fun at first, but as time also passes by, I get too used of thinking what would happen next because, not that I have less money; I have nothing for my future. I was totally wasted. Physically, emotionally and mentally drained from working for others for a couple of bucks, I need something that will make me happy and rich at the same time.   Now I don’t know what to do. Currently, I work for a company that doesn’t give me credits for performing well. Instead, they just wanted me to be present to have something to entertain some of their obnoxious clients. I’m working for people who only think of money to shit with. I work for a company with a lot of bogus and crap over flowing from their greedy minds. And because of what they’re doing to me and my colleagues, they’ve opened my interest of doing what is right. It’s not about the money, and not even about happiness. It is about doing right and lawful enough to do what is just.

[lensandpens]

I won’t stand in you way

could this day get any worst? first, we’re getting distant. then everything between us became a blur. yes, we are workmates but as time goes. i’m getting though this pain because i have her. i know she’s there. but then she drop the bomb. the though of resigning.

it’s a big pain in my gut to know that it also has something to do with whatever happened between us. alam ko part ako nun. kahit hindi nya sabihin. it shows in her action that we are now distant to each other. kung pwede ko nga lang talagang bawiin yung mga nagyari, i’d choose to keep this feeling. i hate myself for being so dumb enough to do that. i blame myself for her sufferings. i mean, i’m use to this. having a bad feeling. loner ako eh. but her? i can’t afford to see her grieving inside. it kills me to see her suffering.

so as much as i would like er to stay, i won’t be selfish. i wanted her to be okay. i wanted us in time to be okay. if this would make her happy, then who am i to stand in her way. basta as long as she’s happy, it’s fine with me.

but always remember. whatever your decision is, i’ll be happy with it. that’s how much i respect her.

[lensandpens]

I NEED A CPR

I am now in the state where almost everything that we’ve been doing seems to be falling apart. Fuck my heart for crossing the line! She’s my friend for god’s sake! Lesson learned, NEVER FALL FOR A FRIEND ESPECIALLY IF SHE’S BROKEN.

Okay na eh. I was suppose to be having the time of my life wherein i was FINALLY able to come to work with something to anticipate. And shit my heart for ditching me. Yan tuloy, all the happy things that we did went to trash. The effort to move on and meet new people became blur again.

I know. It was my fault, and i am still in the stage of blaming myself why she’s acting very different. I got hooked up to a feeling na sya na. Wrong move my friend. Wrong move. Now i have to face the consequence of my selfishness. Di ko inisip na hurting din sya. Lets not play with feelings anymore. I need help pano ko ba to aayusin. I need a hand who will lighten up my mind. Lugmok na ko.

[lensandpens]

BAD TO WORST

Kelangan ko na sigurong masanay. Di na kami tulad ng dati. Namimiss ko yung pagiging clingy nya. Yung childish acts nya. Yung lunch bonding namin (if you call that bonding), nagyayabangan lang naman kami eh. Yung kaartehan nya. I miss her company.

Namiss ko yung kakulitan ko. Wala na kong nakukulit at wala ng nangungulit sakin the way she does. Sad, but I have to deal with it. She needs time to think, according to her. I need time to think about things that might help me in coping up from this situation. But damn, I really miss her. Not because I have a special feeling for her, but because she’s my friend. I miss her company. Really, seriously, I do miss her. Sana bumalik na ang lahat sa dati. Ilang beses ko na bang sinabi na miss ko na sya?

I made things complicated for the both of us. I blame myself for telling her what I feel. Every time I do that, bad things happen. In our case, pinakomplikado ko ang mundong ginagalawan namin. Now it’s hard for the both of us to breathe. Knowing that magkatabi lang station namin at we have common friends through our collegues, Yet di kami nagpapansinan. Sana bumalik na yung dati. Yung makulit na jo na nakilala ko. :(

Sana wag na sya maawkward. Sana balik na kami sa dati kasi ang hirap magpanggap na masaya kahit na alam kong sobrang lungkot na ng puso ko every time pumapasok ako dito knowing na nagkakailangan kami. I want my friend back. :(

[lensandpens]

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