lesbiankormir - Tumblr blog

[lesbiankormir]

*gets booed out of the doctor's office*

[lesbiankormir]

Bitches only sluts only whores only

[lesbiankormir]

[lesbiankormir]

Prozac doesn’t work but you know what does. I figured out that the cure for my depression is always getting exactly what I want

[lesbiankormir]

nobody:

common house spider: can i die of malnutrition in your bedroom please?

[lesbiankormir]

so imagine you’re making ratatouille and you don’t like tomatoes. you don’t like the taste, the texture, the putting them in the water and the peeling them - eugh! so you say to yourself “lookit, this whole dish is nothing but vegetables, so what does it matter if i leave the tomatoes out?” a seemingly innocuous decision on the surface, but 2 hours or whatever later when you’re done cooking, you open the oven to find a complete mess! just a pot full of baked vegetables, none of them congealed or somehow unified. what happened to your beloved ratatouille? so you take to google and find that actually the tomatoes are an essential ingredient of ratatouille, as they form a “sauce” of a certain kind that makes the whole thing work. and so a seemingly innocent decision has destroyed the very foundation of the established order with disturbing ramifications towards the whole. in this essay i will examine how martin luther’s 95 theses lead to protestants being more boring than catholics

[lesbiankormir]

isn’t this what Julius Caesar said to the Roman senate

[lesbiankormir]

i made an “evil sim” or at least the closest i could do to it, shez materialistic, self-absorbed, gregarious and self-assured. all she does is train her skills and fuck

[lesbiankormir]

this pussy? designer. cucci, if u will,

[lesbiankormir]

[lesbiankormir]

[lesbiankormir]

*Sees the grim in the mint leaves of my mojito*

[lesbiankormir]

[lesbiankormir]

my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.

[lesbiankormir]

[lesbiankormir]

[lesbiankormir]

Sunday funday.

Own this BCV Original.