lesbo-baggins-blog

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I revealed my secrets and they ended up as bullets fired behind my back.

-s.g. (via wordsnquotes)

[lesbo-baggins-blog]

your story was so funny omg. do you have any more?

So i lived the town over from my high school, and had to catch the bus like an hour and a half every day to and from

(a movie. thats a fucking movie, every day, twice a day)

(I WAS TWELVE)

(commuter tragedy)

and because we were all stuck together for so long for like six years, we followed the natural inclination of teenagers to be fucking idiots at every chance

and we formed this group of bus kids

forged by ridiculous travel times

bonded in suffering the ridiculous rule of

our bus driver.

our bus driver was an old, old lady called jeannine

(nickname: the grinch, due to the time we were singing christmas carols and she got annoyed and declared that christmas was canceled.)

(CANCELED.)

(we put up a sign written in texta that said ‘NO CHRISTMAS - SIGNED, THE GRINCH’)

(she did not find it funny)

jeannine had been driving the bus since time immemorial

(and may have of, in fact, been one of the Old Ones)

(never confirmed)

(but i have my suspicions)

Jeannie ran a tight ship.

the tightest ship

jeannine was the generalissimo of bus drivers

she played this talkback radio station over the speaker system

and when we were being too loud or she was jut annoyed with us she would turn it up to deafening levels

and we would all block our ears, and then having gotten our attention she would turn it down and shout at us

when we were REALLY TERRIBLE

(like those two weeks after high school musical premiered and we used to have breaking free singalongs)

(yeah)

(I would have turned the radio up on our asses too)

she would park next to the city graveyard

(always the graveyard?)

(i dont know why)

(mental conditioning?)

(subliminal messgakng?)

and walk/hobble

(she was pretty stooped over)

(basically she was your standard old crone)

(potentially witch)

up and down the aisle tellin us how terrible we were

so anyway, one year jeannine goes on a two week break for surgery

(what surgery? We never found out. Various sources claim knee, hip or shoulder replacement)

(could have been a stay at a lazarus pit)

(stay woke)

and we get a replacement driver.

we called him nickelback because he played a nickelback cd over the speaker,

on repeat

every bus trip

EVERY.

TRIP.

how the hell’d we wind up like this?

so free from the reign of terror that was jeannine, we get a bit wild.

and by ‘wild’ i mean we:

talk above speaking level,

eat our food in the ooen,

someone busts out a guitar anyway here’s wonderwall

its one of these days,

that the Great Apple Fiasco happens.

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He then greeted death as an old friend, and went with him gladly, and, as equals, they departed this life.

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