leslaiiiii

[leslaiiiii]

On Bruce's birthday, Jason gifts him a self-made intellectual game in a "resolve this case" style that contains a secret prize. And Bruce? Bruce loves it. He always likes resolving mysteries (you have no idea how many times he reread Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christi) and it is finally so refreshing to work on something... fun and not threatening others' lives! And there will be another prize as a reward? That's great! Brilliant, even.

The problem? Bruce absolutely overthinks the whole thing and instead of finding an obvious answer, he starts plotting insane theories and spiralling in the rabbit hole.

Jason, slightly anxious but hopeful: So, had you resolved it? Did you find what was the victim's last words? Bruce, running on 55 cups of coffee, with a mischievous glint in his eyes: Oh, Jaylad, don't even start. I am thinking between the theory regarding Russian spies and involvement of Epstein. Jason, double-checking his father's state, with smile switching on growl: What.

Bruce is so entertained and sucked into the drama of the fake case that he doesn't even realise that Jason is awfully close to throwing the whole tantrum. Because he didn't just put all his heart into this stupid surprise answer for Bruce to went in a complete opposite direction???

Dick, amused: He is so distracted that he refused going patrolling today and sent us. I can't. This is hilarious. Jason, kicking rocks in frustration: I might as well kill Joker while he is at it. He probably won't even notice. Damian: So, Todd, what is the secret surprise that you are so... hysterical? Jason: Nothing! It is nothing! I don't care! Tim, who looked at the case once and figured the answer out instantly: Yeah, buddy, that's rough.

Jason, a one week after, sitting on the tea ceremony with Alfred: Let me guess, old man is still hadn't figured out the mystery behind the case? Alfred: I am afraid he went... slightly aboard with the capacity of his imagination, master Jason. Now, if you allow me to ask... What was the surprise hidden in the victim's last words? Jason, sniffling: It was supposed to be "I love you, Dad. Can I return home?" Alfred: Alfred: You want to say that I could have my grandson back home a week ago, and we could already arrange and decorate you a new room, and have you over on every dinner, if your father wasn't this... complicated? Jason: Uh, I guess? Jason: Also, why did you just call him my father and not master Bruce... Alfred, standing up to take a riffle: Right now he is not my master. Just your father. Jason: Uh, Alfie????

[leslaiiiii]

Hello, I first wanna say that you're Moriarty the Patriot works are really good!

I was wondering if I could ask for headcanons for each of the Moriarty Brothers with a fem!reader where she is getting clearly unwanted attention from some nobleman (you can decide if she is a noblewoman or not), and she looks around hoping someone will help?

Again, I think you do a great job with your writings, and thank you! I hope you have a great day!

Hi! That's so sweet of you to say :)

I really hope you like this! It's a really cute idea.

Warning: this chapter does include some slight suggestive language used as harassment. It is specifically in Louis' section. To anyone reading this, if you get stuck in any of these situations, do anything you need to to get out of it. Are they getting handsy? Jab your thumbs into their eyes.

Stay safe. I love you guys.

Requests, as always, are OPEN.

**********

Unwanted Attention, with the Moriarty Brothers

William Moriarty

You had been getting groceries when a man approached you, clearly with not-so-good intentions.

"Well aren't you pretty today?" His grin was almost unsettling, "How about you join me on a walk?"

His hands were moving towards your waist, intent on trying to grab you. You stepped back, "I apologize, sir. But I am quite busy today."

His face flashed with anger, "Come on, now. Don't be prude! I promise I'll give you a good time!"

You gulped nervously, "I'm sorry, sir, but I am betrothed. He's..." you scanned the area around you, "Right over here!"

You placed your hands on the nearest man's arm, "This is my lovely soon-to-be husband, Mr...."

He gave you a knowing look, followed by a cheeky smirk. Red eyes shined bright, "William Moriarty. Is this man giving you trouble, my love?"

He glared at the man, who was obviously getting antsy, "Don't you know that isn't the way you treat a woman? Especially not one as fine and beautiful as this one." The man, William, pulled you closer to him.

Within minutes, you two were alone in the aisle. He had finally left.

You sighed in relief, "Thank you, Mr. Moriarty. I don't know what would have happened without you there..."

He smiled, "It was no problem. In fact, I find you quite beautiful myself. If you don't mind, would you like to join me for lunch sometime?"

Louis Moriarty

(it annoys me that he doesn't have his scar in that gif-)

You were a servant at a charity ball for nobles. It wasn't all bad, honestly. The tips were good, and you got plenty of breaks. But when too much alcohol and entitled men mix, it's never good.

You had been serving champagne when arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you far too closely to a man's chest.

A gruff voice whispered, "You look so beautiful in this dress. I wish I knew how you looked without it..."

You tried to get out of his grip, but to no avail, "Please let go of me, my Lord. I am simply doing my job. No need to pay any attention to me."

A sickening laugh, followed by, "But I think there is. How about I take you back to one of the guest rooms for some fun?" His hands almost started to roam your front, when a much lighter voice spoke, "Let go of her, Lord Alabhan. You're drunk, and she is not interested."

His grip on you loosened, and you took the opportunity to wiggle out of his grip.

Lord Alabhan scowled, "Moriarty, you bastard..."

Moriarty sighed, "You never learn, do you?"

You took the opportunity to quietly slip away.

******

Later that night, you managed to find Moriarty again. He was talking to another man, presumably his older brother, when you caught his eye.

"Thank you so much for earlier, Lord Moriarty." You curtsied.

He smiled at you, "I'd much prefer if you called me Louis. It was no trouble at all. Alabhan has always been rather crude..."

His brother chimed in, "Not to mention quite a drunk."

Louis pulled out the chair next to him, "How about we sit together and chat, Ms...?"

"Y/N," You sat down next to him, "Ms. Y/N."

Albert Moriarty

You worked as a secretary. Though you talked to and met many clients every day, one of them showed up much more often.

He had been kind at first, but had soon become quite rude once you had rejected his advances. So, when he showed up again, you knew it likely wasn't going to go very well.

"Hello again, Sir Lyke. Here for your usual tax consultation?" You forced a smile.

He shook his head, "Oh no, my dear. I'm here for much more personal reasons. You see, I'd be delighted if you would like to spend my lunch break with me."

"I'm very sorry, Sir Lyke. But I'm truly not interested."

He sighed, placing both hands on your desk. It felt oddly threatening, "Y/N, I've been kind. I've been courteous. But you simply must accept. You've been so rude, rejecting me like this..."

As he spoke, you found yourself shying away, shrinking into your chair. He went on, his words starting to get aggressive, until you heard:

"My wife is obviously not interested. I'd greatly prefer if you left her alone. Sir Lyke, was it?"

Lyke turned, and you got a glimpse of who he was. You recognized him instantly. Lord Albert Moriarty, a wealthy nobleman who occasionally came around to promote some sort of consulting business his brother had.

You took this information to heart, saying, "Albert! Thank you for visiting me! It's a delight to see you..."

He smiled, eyes looking at you as if you were his entire world, "It's a pleasure, my dear. I am quite upset that Mr. Lyke here has been harassing you..."

Lyke took this moment to blurt, "I had no idea she has a husband! I apologize dearly. I shall leave." He was out the door in a flash, not keen on Albert seeing him for any longer.

You breathed a sigh of relief, "Lord Moriarty, thank you so much. I'm not sure what would have happened if you hadn't showed up."

"I'm just happy you're alright, Ms. L/N."

"Is there anything I can do to thank you? You're always so kind when you come in..."

He thought for a moment, "If you would like to, I'd be overjoyed to have afternoon tea with you one of these days."

[leslaiiiii]

Reblog In 5 seconds for good luck

[leslaiiiii]

[leslaiiiii]

May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. 💵✨

[leslaiiiii]

“Chunta vs Junta”

pick your fighter either way, rip Takato

[leslaiiiii]

Hi! So, if you're still taking prompts: ive just woken up from a really bad dream, so im in a big mood of just some irondad spider-son hug being glad to have the other alive? (If you are not not taking prompts feel free to ignore! But if you are: theres no hurry! :) <3)

“Hey there, son.”

Peter barely glanced up at Steve. Once, he might have felt giddy with excitement at the idea of Captain America actually talking to him. Now, it took everything he had to shove a cursory acknowledgement the man’s way.

Steve sat down beside him, elbows resting casually on his knees. If he was perturbed by Peter’s lack of response, he didn’t show it. “Tony’s come out of some tight situations before. He’ll show up.”

He swallowed, wet frustration filling his eyes, his nose, his throat. “He’s dead.”

“We don’t know that, Peter.”

“He would’ve come.” He hated his youth. He hated the fact that no one seemed to take him seriously, not since the mask came off and his baby-face betrayed his age. “If he’d heard the alert, nothing would have stopped him.”

Peter knew he was right. He could feel it somewhere deep inside him, in a place so dusty with disacknowledgement that it creaked with every inspection.

Because Peter’s heart had stopped. His heart had stopped, and Karen had sent a distress signal to Tony. The kind of distress signal that blared and screamed and overrode any other program that F.R.I.D.A.Y. might have been running.

Karen had sent the distress signal, and Tony hadn’t come.

That had been three days ago. Three days. Three days without so much as a whisper from his mentor. Three days of camping on the outskirts of the half-destroyed Hydra base. Three days of knowing a truth that the other Avengers seemed incapable of staring in the face.

There was only one force in the universe that would’ve stopped Tony from coming to Peter when he got that alert. Only one.

Steve watched him for a moment, eyes heavy. “We think they captured him, Peter. If we’re right, he couldn’t have come to you.”

He just shrugged. He’d heard these same arguments a hundred times over. It didn’t change what he knew.

“I guess.”

Steve gave up, nodding at the bowl held loosely in Peter’s hands. “You eat?”

He glanced down at the cold soup. It rippled a little, as if it sensed his scrutiny. “A little.”

He had pushed down about two mouthfuls before they’d come right back up.

“Want me to warm it back up for you?”

“No, thank you.”

May would be proud. Drowning in grief and he still remembered his manners.

A sigh. “Tony’s going to kill me when he comes back and finds out I didn’t make you eat.”

Tony’s not coming back. “Yeah, well…”

“Bruce said you need to eat more, too. You died a few days ago, kid. That kind of thing takes up a lot of calories.”

I died. I died. IdiedIdiedIdied.

Peter wondered if Tony was already dead by then, or if he’d lived long enough to get the alert, and something stopped him from actually getting to Peter. He hoped not. He didn’t want Mister Stark to have died thinking Peter went out before him.

His eyes darted towards the night sky, a smattering of pinpricks peeking through a tangle of forest leaves. I’m okay, Mister Stark. I’m okay.

A crack of a branch to their left had Steve surging to his feet in a split second, placing himself bodily between the hunched teenager and the possible threat.

Peter, on the other hand, didn’t even flinch.

He didn’t care. Something in him must have died along with Tony. Hell, even his spider sense had abandoned him. Feet away from danger, and it was as silent as a windless day.

“Whoa, Rogers. Stand down, will you?” A laugh, stained and tattered with the same misery that had taken up residence in Peter’s own chest. “I don’t need anyone else trying to kill me today.”

Something swelled through him at the familiar snark. His head snapped up. He couldn’t see past Steve’s bulk, but his limbs wouldn’t cooperate when he tried to stand.

But he didn’t come. He didn’t come. He didn’t come. He didn’t-

“Tony.” Steve’s voice was just one big current of relief. “Thank god.”

His mentor let out a bitter laugh. “Well, I hope you’ll forgive me if I don’t thank him.” Something in his voice seemed to break and re-harden. “Not really feeling the gratitude right about now.”

Slowly, Peter clambered to his feet. His shuffling must have reminded Steve of his presence, because the soldier spun around and reached a hand out for him. He shied away from it, feeling strangely aggravated.

He took a step to the side, and stared.

Tony stood just a handful of footsteps away, suit missing and the compression clothes he usually wore under the armor in tatters.

But he was alive.

He was alive, and Peter’s spider sense wasn’t broken.

It hadn’t gone off because there had never been any danger in the first place.

“Peter?” Tony’s entire demeanor seemed to wobble. “Peter.”

“M-Mister Stark?”

Suddenly, strong arms were jerking him close. Tony’s chin rested on the top of his head, a heavy presence and seemed to run all the way through his body and down to the soles of his feet. For the first time in three days, he felt anchored in place. Secure, steadied, safe.

“Kid.” One of Tony’s hands palmed roughly against the back of his neck, as if his mentor was testing that the teenager was solid. “Fuck, kid. I thought you were dead. The suit lit up and said your fucking heart stopped. I tried to get to you, but they knocked me out of the sky before I could make it two meters. Next thing I know, my armor’s gone and I’m locked in a shitty cell in some underground bunker. They-They told me they killed you. Showed me footage and everything.”

Peter buried his face into his neck, digging his nose into the man’s pulse point. He smelled like sweat and smoke and dirt, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care. He’d never cared about anything less in his life.

“I thought you were dead.” He didn’t know how Tony had managed his version of this speech without crying. Peter made it about two words in before the deep, shuddering sobs overtook his control. “I-I checked K-Karen’s databases after. She said that-that F.R.I.D.A.Y. received her distress signal and that you didn’t come. You would’ve come. I knew you would’ve. I-I thought…”

“Shh. It’s okay. Not dead, buddy. I’m not dead, you’re not dead, nobody’s dead…” Tony tightened his grip all at once. Peter wondered absently if he’d bruise in the morning. “Wait. Fuck. That means they weren’t lying, then? They didn’t hack Karen? Your heart actually stopped?”

Peter closed his eyes and let Tony take on more of his weight. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to think about anything besides the fact that Tony was alive, Tony was okay, Tony was here. 

“Just for like, a little bit.”

Steve piped up, voice quiet. “It was about 3 minutes. Rhodey restarted it.”

“Of course it was Rhodey. God, I love that man. I’m going to kiss him. I mean, it wouldn’t be the first time, but this time I’m really going to mean it…”

For a few shaky breaths, they were all silent. Peter clenched and unclenched his fist in the fabric of his mentor’s shirt. Tony alternated between dragging trembling fingers through the curls at the base of the teenager’s skull and roving his hands over his back and sides in search of injury. Finally, two fingertips found their resting spot against the pulse point on Peter’s neck.

“If your heart pulls any of that bullshit ever again,” Tony’s voice was just a whisper, “we’re going to have words.”

He laughed at the absurdity of the statement. He laughed at the absurdity of their situation.

But most of all, he laughed because Tony was alive. 

“Sure, Mister Stark.”

[leslaiiiii]

Summary of Methods Used to Get Tony to Eat

Steve: Tony, I brought you some food.

Tony: Sorry cap, I’m busy

Steve: *puppy dog eyes*

Tony: ……. okay

Success rate 60%

__________

Bucky: I made you some food.

Tony: Sorry robocop, I’m busy.

Bucky: I slaved all morning to make you something, the least you could do is eat it you little shit! *tries to shove food down Tony’s throat*

Success rate 20%

__________

Pepper: Hey Tony, I brought food.

Tony: Sorry Pep, can’t right now.

Pepper: I also brought coffee

Tony: Oh gimme! *grabby hands*

Pepper: Food first though

Tony: But coffee!

Success rate 45%

__________

Stephen: Tony I brought you food

Tony: Can’t right now Doc, busy.

Stephen: We can either do this the easy or hard way

Tony: what’s the hard way?

Stephen: I make a portal into your stomach, but trust me it won’t be comfortable

Success rate 14% [Well 100% if he uses the portal but then Tony won’t speak to him for a week]

___________

Rhodey: Hey Tones! Brought you food

Tony: Ah sorry honey bear, but I’m busy.

Rhodey: It’s burgers

Tony: ..well

Rhodey: with milkshakes!

Tony: ….I guess

Rhodey: And if you don’t I’ll let hammer upgrade war machine

Tony: YOU WOULDN’T DARE

Success rate 40%

__________

Natasha: Tony, here’s food. *drops on table*

Tony: Sorry itsy bitsy, I’m busy

Natasha: *murder glare*

Tony: *nervous sweating*

Natasha: *narrows eyes* Well?

Tony: *slowly reaches for food*

Success rate 80%

__________

Peter: Mr. Stark, I’m hungry. Can we go out to eat?

Tony: *drops everything* Sure kid. I’ll always have time for you

Peter: *beams*

Success rate 100%

[leslaiiiii]

peter: *mentions he’s missing home once after starting college*

tony: hey MIT you’ve been begging me to lecture for years guess what bitch

[leslaiiiii]

PFFF LMAO wHAT WAS MY BRAIN THINKING

so this is basically how it happened

[leslaiiiii]

American movie be like

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Simon: Oh no!!! You're dying!!!

Raphael: What the fuck? Your charger is literally just across the room

Simon [still talking to his phone]: I—I wish I could help!

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Clary: Why does Raphael love you so much?

Simon: 'Cause of my sweet moves. Check this out.

Simon [to Raphael]: I'm coming in for a hug!

Raphael: I'm not in the mood to be touched right now.

Simon: No problem! [Backs off]

Simon [to Clary]: That move is called “Listening and Respecting.”

[leslaiiiii]

Prompt I will never do anything with: instead of being given to the Dursleys, Harry Potter is put up for adoption and is adopted by the Addams Family

[leslaiiiii]

thaddeus ross is a little bitch

[leslaiiiii]

THIS WHOLE SCENE IS EPIC

I CANT BELIEVE THEY DID IT