lesslaivyy

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Was this recorded in a mug

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Beautiful siblings insider trading and money laundering

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what are we even saying anymore

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the only reason I go on Reddit now is to find these bad two sentence horror posts. they're great. they're bad. but they're great.

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The lastest update for minecraft pocket edition! Including new mobs and bow and arrows! Go update/download it now!

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I constantly manipulate everyone around me by calculating what would be the nicest thing to do in any given situation, making a point of doing it when it matters the most. This is supported by subtly, casually tailoring what I talk about to the person I'm speaking to, and saying what I think they may find funny or interesting. the really sick thing is I look just like a normal person and there's no way you can tell me apart from anyone. If I weren't such a monster I would be afraid knowing people like this are out there, but I know I'm on top and have nothing to fear.

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wanting the future to come faster will have you ripping your chest out but wanting the present to stay will have you sleepin with the fishes

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Being raised irreligious within a broadly Christian culture, I know what angels are but don't have any strong feelings towards them. To me, an Angel is just a Birdgirl with delusions of divinity

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sending my hated nemesis a bouquet of spider lilies to signal the depths of my disdain but she's a really stupid airheaded hero type and so she doesn't understand the symbolism and continues to labour under the misapprehension that we are very good friends who occasional have violent lesbian sex

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I don't personally find spiders cute but I understand people who do because of my deep affection for the humble lobster

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pros: it would most likely vastly improve my life in a multitude of ways

cons: might get scared

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wow…ahead of its time (and ahead of its host)