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art-explosion-blog
ART EXPLOSION
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i cried all of the water out of my body long before i could swim
like old christmas cards now tossed into a fire
i meant something for a brief amount time
sat uselessly in your bedroom cabinet
in the bottom drawer with the rest of the kindling
im sorry i grew up, i never meant to
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I had a dream? Nightmare? Memory?? About you, your hands, your breath on me.
You told me I wanted it and shoved my face into the mattress again and again.
I couldn't breathe and you didn't have a care in the world. With venom in your mouth you told me I deserved it.
I told you to stop that it hurt and other protests but you never let up, never let me properly catch my breath. Even called me useless after you were finished.
I was nothing but an outlet for your frustrations.
#i would say 'fuck you' but you've already gone and done that haven't you?#in a sickening turn of events.. i miss you#m. x.#you weren't always terrible to me#i miss your praises#i miss your hands around my neck
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i swing back and forth between “i fucking hate adult men creeping on young girls leave me alone you sick freaks i hate you i hate you i hate you” and “i just want an older man to call me his pretty little doll, his good girl, and use me as his fucktoy”
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Picking at scabs to feel something, anything.
My fingers are bloody but it feels good.
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