leto-imagines

[leto-imagines]

IMAGINE SHANNON HELPING YOU WITH YOUR EATING DISORDER

TRIGGER WARNING: PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS IMAGINE IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED BY CERTAIN EVENTS. This is, unfortunately, a very real thing for many people (including myself). If you need any help, feel free to reach out to me. I don’t give a shit how long it will take, I will talk to you until you feel better xoxo

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Sitting down on the cold floor, you had thought about what just happened. You didn’t mean for it to happen. You had been so good for so long. Who knew that one day with friends would turn you back, into this. Your worst nightmare. The very thing you have been trying to escape, and almost did over the course of two years. In the distance, you hear the front door to your apartment open.

“Babe,” Shannon, your boyfriend, calls out, “I have coffee and cookies!” Shit. He wasn’t supposed to come over until much, much later. You jump up off the floor and flush the toilet. You grab your toothbrush and some toothpaste, frantically squeezing it out to get the smell of vomit out of your mouth.

Shannon hugs you from behind and kisses your cheek, after placing two cups of coffee and a bag of chocolate chip cookies on the counter. He rests his head between your shoulder and neck and looks at your reflection in the mirror brushing your teeth, while you try to steady the shaking of your hand.

“Wait, hold on,” Shannon turns you around and puts his hands on your cheeks, wiping away tear stains you had forgotten to wash off, “Why were you crying?”

“Um,” you spit into the sink and rinse out your mouth and add quickly, “Yeah, it’s nothing, I spent the whole day watching a million sad movies.”

Shannon’s eyes focused on you, “I thought it was a girl’s day.”

You look away and rub your hand across your forehead, noticing little things all around the two of you that could hint that your problem was back. You fight every fiber being of your body wanting, begging you, to just break down in front of him. To just have Shannon hold you and tell you things would be okay. Of course, your boyfriend was well aware of your eating disorder. It was all too familiar for him, and it was pointless to think he wouldn’t be able to tell it was happening again. Shannon grabs your hand and spins you around, resulting in you burying your face in his shirt. For a few minutes, Shannon rubbed your back as you sobbed quietly.

“Talk to me,” Shannon whispers after what seemed like forever.

“Your shirt is drenched because of me,” you joke at the big tear spot on Shannon’s shoulder. You obviously knew it was not what he had meant.

“I don’t give a fuck about this shirt,” he said. You could hear the pain in his voice, and the realization of just how much you hurt Shannon when you hurt yourself hit you like a truck.

“I don’t know why that happened,” you cried, “I’m sorry, Shannon.” You had never meant to hurt the person you love.

Shannon walked you over to your bedroom and layed you down on your bed.

Shannon’s voice shaking while he drew small imaginary circles on the palm of your hand, “It is so unbelievably unhealthy. Please.”

“I’m scared of what’s going to happen,” you say.

Shannon smiles at you as he tucks you under your warm and comforting sheets, “We’ll get through it. We have before and we will do it again.”

“Help me?” you say as your boyfriend lays down beside you.

“I will, baby,” Shannon kisses the top of your head, “I promise.”

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You woke up with Shannon's head on your chest, his arms wrapped tightly around you. You look over at the clock beside your bed: 9:18 AM. After everything that happened the night before, you were desperate for this to never happen again. You would do anything, because you knew that you and Shannon both didn't deserve any of it. But old habits die hard, and it would be a long fight.

You run your hand through your boyfriend's hair. Shannon catches your hand and squeezes it reassuringly.

“I promise,” you whisper. Shannon looks at you, his beautiful eyes relaxing.

“I promise.”

[leto-imagines]

IMAGINE ACCOMPANYING JARED TO A RADIO SHOW

Jared looks over at you through the big pane of glass, with the goofiest face you’ve ever seen. You laugh, but there was no way he could’ve heard. You check your phone for the time: 6 AM.

“Remind me why I agreed to wake up this early?” you say to your best friend, who you brung to Jared’s radio interview.

“Because you’re here to support your boyfriend. Why you had to drag me here, I will never understand,” she yawned.

“Couldn’t I support him from the warmth of my bed?” you answered, and turned back over to the interview. Jared had his eyes on you the whole time, while Tomo and Shannon laughed about something the radio host said. For the next couple of minutes, the two of you make silly faces at one another.

“You guys are really weird,” your friend smirked.

“Jared?” the host asks, as Jared returns his attention back to him. Jared shakes his head, apologetically.

“I’m sorry,” Jared laughs, “What was your question, again?” The host turns around in his chair to look over at you, who was, at this point, bright red with embarrassment.

“Okay, I see what’s going on here,” the interviewer chuckled, “So how long have the two of you been together?”

“Well, um,” Jared stuttered, “Erhm a while now, yeah, we actually really care about one another.”

“Woah,” your best friend groaned, “Somehow you have managed to turn the great Jared Leto speechless!” You couldn’t help but to worry whether you had just botched a career opportunity for the band. You would never be able to forgive yourself.

“Well you seem to be really smitten, the two of you have been spotted almost everywhere together,” the host said. You put you face into your hands and could not believe this was happening.

“Yeah, she’s-um,” Jared rubbed his forehead, “She’s really special.” Your eyes meet for a split second before you nervously dart them away.

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After the show, Jared joins you outside while waiting for Shannon, Tomo and your best friend to drive up in the car and take you home.

“Hey you,” you felt Jared put his hand around your back as you wrapped yours around his neck, “You alright?”

“Yeah, that got very awkward very fast,” you added.

“I meant it, you know,” Jared lowered his voice, “Everything I said in there, I meant all of it.”

“Really?” you froze, scared that if you were to move you would ruin a perfectly good moment between the two of you. Jared pulled you in, your lips meeting.

“Does that answer your question?” he smiled. You laughed and leaned back into a kiss.

“Get a room!” you hear Shannon shout from inside the car that just drove up to the both of you.

“Let’s go,” Jared whispers and helps you into the car.

[leto-imagines]

IMAGINE YOU AND JARED SKYPING

You run over to your computer after seeing you've missed a video call from your boyfriend, Jared. You press the call button and anxiously wait for him to pick up. What if you missed it? What if you missed your chance to talk to him? You haven't seen or heard from Jared in a while and you miss him more than you've ever missed anyone before.

“Hey!” Jared’s voice booms through the speakers of your computer.

“Hey you,” you smile, “Sorry for missing your call.” You played with the end of your sleeve, amazed at how nervous he still made you feel even after you've been together for so long.

“Not a problem, how are you? I've been missing you like crazy,” Jared said as he adjusted his screen and leaned in forward to get a better look at you.

“I'm alright,” you say quickly. Jared looks at you, concerned.

“You sure?” he asked. You quickly nod your head yes, after all, the last thing you wanted to do was worry him. The truth was that you hated Jared being away, but you hated complaining to him even more, because this was his passion. And you would never take that away from him.

“Oh, hey, Shan, can you get me a bottle of water from the other room?” Jared looks over the computer and you hear the door closing shut a few moments later.

“Alright, what’s wrong?” Jared looks back over at the screen. Crap, you’ve forgotten what a bad liar you were. And you’ve forgotten just how much Jared knows you.

“I told you,” you reassure him. This. This is what you’ve been avoiding. You wished Jared didn’t push. You were afraid of losing him, “I’m okay.”

“I know what you said,” Jared said slowly, “Now, please, tell me the real reason you’re upset.”

You looked away from the screen, embarrassed of what you were about to say, “I just..I..miss you.”

“Sweetheart,” Jared laughed, “I miss you too, but it’s not a big deal. Why wouldn't you just tell me?”

“I don’t know, I guess I didn't want to seem needy,” you sigh.

“Right, right, because missing your boyfriend is a completely irrational thing to do,” Jared mocked. You heard the door open and saw Jared reach for a water bottle.

“You’re right,” you say.

“Of course I am!” Jared shouts, taking a sip of his water.

“Don't get cocky,” you giggle as you move your computer from your desk over to your couch.

“How about this?” Jared clapped his hands and sat up, “You come on out here and then we will fly home together.”

“No, we don’t have to,” you protest, but Jared shakes his head.

“Yeah, sure,” Jared grins at you. Shannon walks over to the screen, gulping down his coffee like theres no tomorrow.

“Don’t fight it sugar,” Shannon shakes his head, making you laugh.

“I’ll see you guys soon then,” you say before hanging up, “Muah!”

[leto-imagines]

IMAGINE YOU AND JARED SHARING A MOMENT

“Wake up sleepyhead!” Jared yells. You hear the front door slam shut and your boyfriends heavy footsteps run to the room you share. You hide yourself under the warmth of your sheets.

“How are you still asleep?” he laughed, “I just had the most amazing walk, I have to take you one day.” Jared lifts the covers from over your head, and smiles.

“Mm, I’m far too drained of energy to do anything today,” you exclaim, “Let’s just order pizza and cuddle.” Jared leans in close, your nose touching his.

“Unacceptable!” he yells and grabs your hands, pulling you up to sit on his lap. You don’t protest though, because truthfully you’ve missed Jared. He’s been so busy with work, you’ve rarely had the time to just hang out.

“Alright alright, I’m up. Tell me more about the walk,” you lean in, burying your face into his chest. You wanted to savor this moment, for however long it lasts.

“Well the climb was a pain in the ass, I could imagine you the whole time yelling at me to carry you. But the view from the top was, erm, it was inspirational,” he chuckled to himself, “Sorry, that was stupid to say.”

You look up to Jared, taking his face in your hands, “Don’t say that. It is not stupid. It’s beautiful.”

After a while, Jared sighed, “I’ve really missed you.”

“Me too,” you whisper, so quietly you doubt he heard. For the next couple of minutes the two of you sit in silence. You didn’t need to say anything, the connection you had spoke for itself.

[leto-imagines]

WELCOME FRANDS

So I had an "imagine" account and I was being nostalgic so I attempted to log back in and start it up again. (UNFORTUNATELY) I lost the password sooo here we are now. I'm going to be 100% real with you guys: I'm not going to promise to upload at certain times (did that on my other account and things got out of hand). I'll upload new imagines when I can, but please realize that I've got loads of schoolwork, work in general, etc. Now that we're all caught up, I hope you guys enjoy my blog. xoxo