lets-why-do-i-hate-myself-w-blog

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We can't help but be human and get hurt

Do Kyungsoo

[lets-why-do-i-hate-myself-w-blog]

Rant #2

You know what sucks? When your parents make fun of what you love and devote yourself to. When you adore something and want to express that. When you like Kpop, J-pop or Anime or anything else for that matter and they tell you, "You're weird. You are retarded! How could you like that Asian crap?"(I'm using Kpop as my example)

Do parents even know how that feels? You show your enjoyment in something and they feel the need to shoot you down. To show you that you are strange because you like something different? Fuck, it sucks.

Do they realise how that makes me feel? How stupid I feel and weird? How could they know? They never ask, they just assume I never care.

I hate this! I HATE FEELING SO WORTHLESS! I hate it. Why don't they understand? Why do they feel the need to discriminate me? Why?

비가 ��는 짙은 색 서울 그 위에 ~ Bangtan Boys, Rain

[lets-why-do-i-hate-myself-w-blog]

First Rant

She has never been the person who instantly goes, she is a worthless fat human being. Or the person who instantly thinks they are the hottest person in the world. She is the person who sits in the back of the class because she doesn't want to talk to other people or get picked on for reading answers. That girl who will give you small smiles in the hall just because she can, she is the person who will be your friend in an instant and give you her heart. She is the one who always wonders what if? What if I was pretty or what if I wasn't so honest. What if I was just like anybody else? What if I lost weight. Would I still be the same person? Or would I dig myself a deeper hole?

This girl is the one who hears that a person doesn't like her and always wonder why. She wonders what she did, what she could have done to prevent it. Just what could she have done wrong? She instantly thinks the worst but will never let anybody know. She is the one who looks at herself in the mirror and says, "I HATE YOU!" When she doesn't really mean it.

But....She will be the first to pick you up off of the ground, to dust off your coat for you and be your rock. Be the one who stays put, when you face your own storms. She is the girl who her friends come to first, telling her she is beautiful. But, she is also the girl who slowly tears herself apart. Telling herself that she isn't worth their attention. Not worth all of the compliments she is showered with from her friends. The one who's brain screams, "NEVER WORTH IT!" She is slowly breaking.

But, never will she let anybody else see the cracks. She will slowly pick them up and put them together again, only the careful observers will notice the small cracks where her heart lies, and the missing piece in her mind where her confidence resides.

비가 오는 짙은 색 서울 그 위에 ~ Bangtan Boys, Rain