letslearnyall

[letslearnyall]

The reason why you can't seperate our transness from our manhood is the exact same reason why transmisogyny is one word.

Its not just transphobia and misogyny. It's transmisogyny. The discrimination transfems face isn't discretely divided into 2 categories. Those experiences overlap in a way where you can't adequately address one without acknowledging the other. That's why it was crucial to come up with vocabulary to describe this intersection. To seperate them is to attempt to erase intersectionality.

In the same way, you can't adequately address the oppression transmascs face without addressing all aspects of our identity.

Manhood and/or masculinity in isolation may not be targeted by a specific axis of oppression; but when they intersect with a marginalized identity, they become a target for gendered violence. Because our manhood does not, and cannot, exist removed from the context of our transness and life experiences. That is the entire purpose of intersectionality.

To remove our manhood / masculinity from that equation is to refuse to view us holistically, and is an attempt to seperate us from our identity - exactly the same way transphobes do.

The term intersectionality was coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, a black woman, who was pointing out that her various identities do not exist independently, rather, they inform each other, and create a convergence of social positions.

White feminists did not (and often still don't) acknowledge the ways that other axes of identity and oppression inform misogyny. They excluded women of color from the conversation because they did not want to discuss how racism intersects with misogyny. There was similar silencing of queer and disabled women, as well, for the same reason.

By telling us "it's because you're trans, not because you're men" you're just repeating history. The marginalization of non-hegemonic manhood and masculinity is a very real axis that must be addressed when discussing the oppression of trans men and transmascs - as well as other marginalized men.

If you refuse to hear about this aspect of our experience, our voices will never truly be heard. You are actively contributing to our erasure and to our continued harm.

I am a transgender man. I am a whole person. Treat me as such.

[letslearnyall]

I’ve said this a million times but if your leftism does not come from a place of genuine compassion for other human beings – if you do not accept that all human life is valuable and there is inherent dignity therein – then it’s less than useless

[letslearnyall]

I have an acquaintance who I believe has been gone to the tirf side and while I don't think she's going to be able to be talked to on this the thing she posted to me to try to be like "well this trans man thinks you can't be specifically against trans masc people" did make me think like,

If transmisogyny has been expanded from just being about the type of extreme violence described by serrano to a lot of other items, but some people don't believe that anything similar can be described to trans men, then it feels like they are saying that men are the default in the way that anything bad that happens to a trans man or trans masc person is just transphobia but bad things that happen to trans women are transmisogyny.

Like I feel like it's a bit like, what is just transphobia any more then, is it something which just applies to all trans people or is it the same transphobia which can affect trans masc and trans fems?

Are there limits to what can be called transmisogyny like people are putting to transandrophobia?

Honestly, I think this idea kind of rests on this very weird model of gender categorization that really just ignores what transphobia is, and how it actually works on a systemic level.

The implication here is that trans women are women, therefore what they experience is misogyny. Which means that because trans men are men, what we experience cannot be misogyny.

We see this same logic in "TME/TMA" ("transmisogyny exempt/transmisogyny affected") language, which also conflates oppression with identity: do your actual lived experiences with oppression determine your "TME/TMA" categorization? Or are people of certain identities simply considered exempt from transmisogyny, by nature of those identities alone? In practice, it is overwhelmingly the later.

If we consider transmisogyny to be a system of oppression that is expressed in particular ways, rather than a kind of oppression that only impacts certain people, "TME/TMA" categorization immediately falls apart. Nobody is "exempt" from a system of oppression that, for example, polices conformity to idealized western standards of cis womanhood in sports; we know for a fact that women of color are regularly deeply affected by transmisogynistic rules and laws in sports. Those same women do not face many other aspects of transmisogyny-- currently they are not in danger of being places in men's prisons, for example-- but clearly, that doesn't mean they're exempt from transmisogyny, either.

The point here is that these are systems of oppression, and while they target certain qualities in people, their goal is ultimately to police certain societal rules. It doesn't matter what your identity actually is; only that you are breaking those rules.

Trans women are women, but they are not seen as women by these systems. They are seen as people who are breaking a particular set of rules; not "woman", not "man", but "other". Even "defective", "failed", or "outlaw". Transmisogyny exists to police their particular ways of breaking those rules, and it does not particularly care how they actually identity themselves, on an individual level.

Trans men are men, but we are not seen as men. We are breaking rules, too, and there are systems in place to police those rules; we've named them "transandrophobia" (or "transmisandry", or "antitransmasculinity", or whatever) so we can talk about them a little more easily.

[letslearnyall]

so much trans discourse is just different groups of trans people throwing "no YOU guys are the ones irreversibly tainted by Male Privilege and who serve the patriarchy, WE'RE actually oppressed by misogyny and need cis feminists to support us!!!!" back and forth at each other. radfeminism traumatized us so bad none of us take five seconds to ask why trans people have to be divided into Privileged Oppressive Basically-Cis-Men and Untainted Oppressed Basically-Cis Women in the first place. stop trying to make cisfeminist frameworks fit trans experiences!

[letslearnyall]

Abortion Clinic Employee Shares How Some Pro-Life Women Act When They Come In As Customers

I am not surprised that anti-choice zealots would hypocritically obtain abortions, but I am thoroughly fucking shocked that they wouldn’t even attempt to hide their anti-choice views when doing so. 

[letslearnyall]

HB2885, filed on Thursday, February 29 by state Representative Jamie Gragg (R-Ozark), would make it a Class E felony  for teachers or school counselors to aid the “social transition” of a child — meaning that a teacher "provides support, regardless of whether the support is material, information, or other resources to a child regarding social transition." The bill defines "social transition" as: “The process by which an individual adopts the name, pronouns, and gender expression, such as clothing or haircuts, that match the individual's gender identity and not the gender assumed by the individual's sex at birth.” Teachers found guilty of “supporting social transition” would be placed in the same sex offender registration category as Tier 1 sex offenders, which is Missouri’s lowest level but includes possession of child porn or attempting a sexual act. And since no Missouri sex offender is permitted to be within 500 feet of a school or daycare, the bill would effectively end the teacher’s career.

This is unlikely to pass but it really says a lot they want people to get registered as sex offenders for calling someone a pronoun they prefer or telling them where to get the forbidden and blasphemous clothes and haircuts.

[letslearnyall]

if you wanna talk some shit to me about the Sex Offender Registry i'm gonna give you some fucking abolitionist homework

[letslearnyall]

Hi, just wanted to let you know about the Flood the Post movement kicking off this week, to send physical mail demanding a ceasefire to Albo, Wong etc. It's aimed at trying to get around the AI blockers on their emails etc, and because physical post is very disruptive and has to be manually dealt with.

Penny Wong's postal address is:

PO Box 6237, Halifax Street Adelaide, SA, 5000

Penny Wong's Parliament office is:

PO Box 6100 Senate Parliament House Canberra ACT 2600

Anthony Albanese's postal address is:

PO Box 5100 Marrickville, NSW, 2204

And his Parliament office is:

PO Box 6022 House of Representatives Parliament House Canberra ACT 2600

[letslearnyall]

A cute guy likes me on a dating app. After chatting with them for weeks, we decide to go on a date. They are very flirtatious and forward over the app, but not when we meet in person. He admits he thought I was transmasc like him, we laugh about it because his mistake is funny and means I'm not passing but in a silly backwards way. I think his sudden awkwardness in person may be nervousness and flirt with him in ways less forward and aggressive than he'd been flirting with me earlier, and they become cold and distant for the rest of the date. By the time I get home they've blocked me on the app we met on. This case of being mistaken as a transmasc on a dating app will happen 3 more times, and in 2/3 times it results in a similar sudden lack of interest where once they were coming on to me. None of these people will be cis.

I am in a self defense class for queer people, learning hand to hand combat as a community. I have been here months. I notice I'm the only transfem in the classes but there are other trans people there so I don't think much of it. Today I have some stubble as I did not have time to shave before the early morning class. When discussing unrealistic action movie and anime fight scenes I describe on of my favorites, quoting the lines as I pantomime the goofy moves. They smile and laugh along until the word bitch leaves my lips in one quote, then the bisexual woman who only ever they/thems me glares at me like I've committed a grevious crime, and the rest of the class looks at me like a freak in awkward silence for a moment before moving on. I learn bitch is not a word a clocky bitch can "reclaim". I am quiet in classes now, and when I go I focus primarily on the training, when I see other trans women try it out they often give me a sad look and do not return for a second class. I get a sinking feeling that if I ever use this training to save my life one day I'd be branded a violent man instead of a strong woman.

I am texting with a good friend of years who was one of the people who helped me realize I was trans like them and even the one who helped pick out my name loves talking about our shared interests and sharing their favorite smut with me. We bond over favorite stories, artists, characters, and kinks as well as our trans experience. Yet they constantly tell me they could never date someone who's AMAB because of the trauma of being "female socialized" and their genital preferences for vulvas. Every compliment they have ever given me on my appearance or outfit is followed up by "but in a non-sexual way, I could never date you". Today I finally have the courage tell them they don't need to say that every time. They ignore this response. We keep talking for awhile, but they start taking months to respond to my messages and respond with a short sentence at most. They no longer share details about their life and shut me out when I ask or share details about mine, even the most mundane and chaste details. I stop talking to them. A birthday gift I bought them months before this falling out happened looms at me in my closet. I cannot use it as it doesn't fit me but can't bring myself to throw it away, just in case we reconcile one day. I feel pathetic for craving friendship with someone who sees me as "abuser-bodied", that so much of my early stages would've been impossible without their help. I feel a little more lost without them.

I am at a queer/trans/enby kink dance party with some friends. I am scantily clad and wearing a skirt and high heeled boots. I do not pass well so this space is one of the few places I feel safe and free dressing like this. It is packed with queer and trans people just like me engaged in delightful debauchery and wearing very little. The music hurts my ears but I'm happy to be here, I feel overstimulated but alive and authentic. I am approached by a beautiful stranger from across the dance floor, she is graceful and stylish, like some modern Galadriel clad in leather, white lace, and industrial piercings with impeccable voice training. She compliments my outfit, I compliment hers. She tells me I need to shave my armpits if I want to look like a real woman. My two friends stand up for me and yell at her. They assure me she was just being an asshole, that women were supposed to be hairy, but I can't help but notice how both of them have hairy armpits and yet the "advice" targeted me. The wide range of bodies that people here tonight find desirable on cis women don't seem to apply to the women like me. I am the only one of us that doesn't go home with a hookup at the end of the night. I realize now she likely spoke from experience. I am still hurt by her words, but realizing the kinds of experiences she must have had herself to feel her words were kind advice hurts far worse.

A local queer photographer who's work I follow is looking for women & non-binary models for a photoshoot. I have become comfortable with getting photos taken of me for the first time in my life since my egg cracked, and had a few small time modeling gigs under my belt. With something like this I could actually have the beginnings of a portfolio. I reach and am told that they are not looking for trans women models, "only women and AFABs". Getting the same line I get from agencies from an independent queer photographer repackaged in "woke" terminology stings. I see many queer and nonbinary models I looked up to take part in the shoot. I have to wonder if they knew that the photographer's definition of woman didn't include trans women, or if like me in my martial arts class they noticed no transfems were there but didn't think much of it because there were other trans people there.

It is years ago and I am still an egg. I am with my partner of 4 years. I am exhausted after a long day. She asks me for sex in the voice that I know means saying no will hurt her. I learned from her long ago men have high and insatiable sex drives, therefore saying no meant I wanted to have sex, just not with her. So I say yes. The sex is painful and unsatisfying, and I simply do my best to thrust through the discomfort until she cums. I feel numb and hurt. She enjoys herself but seems sad I did not cum. I assure her I love her. When we hold eachother after my obligation has been met and I finally feel comfortable and safe. We begin talking. She talks about the trashy women she saw on the street today, describing their cringe outfits and ugly styles and bad hair. All the styles and clothes and hair I yearn to try myself in my deepest and most repressed desires. I change the subject and ask her about work and family. She asks if I'd still love her if she were a man and I say yes. She says she would still love me if I were a woman. Something in that statement feels like a lie. It is months later when we break up and I move out. Now that I am a woman I look back and know from our years together that if I were a woman then she'd hate the kind of woman I'd become. That if I were a woman she'd still have the same expectations of me as a man, that her refusal of sex equated an impersonal not being in the mood but my refusal of sex equated a cruel refusal of love.

A lesbian group begins organizing a queer woman's strip night event. A safe place for amateur performers to shine and women to perform and enjoy sexuality away from the male gaze. I see no transfems in the promotional material or leadership team, and I've learned not to think nothing of it just because there are other trans people there. I do not go.

I am talking with my therapist. They are trans too and an amazing therapist, often providing insights and advice only someone else with the lived experience of being trans can. I express distress and suicidal ideation at the fact I feel like I need to pass before I can dress the way I want. That until I get expensive hair removal procedures and FFS I can never feel safe and welcome presenting authentically. I lament how these things are expensive and may never be accessible to me. They tell me I need to deal with my "internalized transphobia", as if these feelings aren't a result of constant rejection and othering by external forces even within queer spaces. As if the scrap of womanhood others sometimes acknowledge in me does not rely on their perceptions of me.

There is a publication accepting works from trans people of all stripes to document trans experiences. It gets flamed for not having a single transfem as a contributor. The people behind it apologize profusely, they say didn't notice no transfems had sent work in and would do a sequel publication that was transfem-centric. I wonder if anyone had noticed there were no transfems but didn't think much of it because there were other trans people there. I think about the kinds of spaces I've seen like that, and the implications it has about how they treat transfems, and I am unsurprised no transfems submitted.

One of my closest friends for years is very supportive of me when I first begin crossdressing and experimenting with they/them pronouns. She gives me suggestions on cute clothes to wear and takes me shopping as well as asks for pictures. We had helped eachother discover we were both queer as young teens, come to terms with it, and navigate it in a hostile environment, so I have complete trust. We are close enough we are frequently asking eachother advice on serious life choices & relationships, sending nudes for critique + tips before sending them to our partners, and sharing our most secret and vulnerable moments. She often asks me for tips on getting her straight boyfriends into pegging and crossdressing that make me slightly uncomfortable but I don't mind, she is a loyal friend I would endure a great many discomforts for. I host a lunch for us one day, and come out to her as a trans woman. I tell her my new name, say I no longer use he/him pronouns, and thank her for her support on my journey thus far. She launches into a monologue about how by changing my name I am throwing away all our memories together and spitting in the face of my family. Taken aback by her sudden heel turn after being so supportive of me being nonbinary and GNC, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom to get a break and give her some time to process. When I am in the bathroom trying not to cry, she is on the phone. I overhear her misgendering me as she is talking about me being bisexual in a frightened voice. She sounds truly afraid that I intend to be sexually violent towards her. When I leave the bathroom and sit back down I pretend not to have heard. She gets off the phone, saying she was just chatting with her boyfriend. We talk a bit longer, she explains how "the surgery" is dangerous and experimental and she hopes I won't get it. I assure her I won't and do my best to change the subject and hope she comes around after some time to process things, hurt and shocked that what I saw as a natural shift in the path I was already on marked me as frightening in her eyes after knowing eachother for over a decade. That a fellow bisexual suddenly saw my bisexuality as dangerous now that I was asserting myself as a trans woman. I say goodbye to her, and she says goodbye to me using my deadname, I do not risk an argument to correct her. It is months after the meeting we have not seen eachother since and she has not responded to any messages I sent. After reflecting on her reaction further I decide that I don't really want to spend time with someone who thinks these things about me for my own safety and mental health, regardless of our history. A friend of 14 years who supported my queerness and transness gone the instant I crossed an intangible woman-shaped line that marked me as a predator and invader in her eyes.

I log online and day after day see trans women getting banned and harassed. Seeing baseless callout posts calling them groomers and abusers getting taken seriously by other queer and trans people. Seeing proof that deep down so many people I consider kindred spirits see me and people like me as worthy of intense scrutiny and policing to keep "the queer community" safe and united. The blocklist grows but everything stays the same. I treasure the people in my life who don't take part in this and would do anything for them, but it seems they get fewer each time.

I'm not making this post to seek sympathy, I am used to this kind of shit and far worse has happened to myself and others. I just make this to illustrate transmisogyny is not some "online-only" issue like people claim. Even if online issues weren't "real" (as healed is fond of saying, "online is real") this has tangible effects in the way trans women are treated offline as well. By communities, friends, partners, colleagues, systems, etc. That's why we talk about it.

So much of the discussions people have paint transmisogyny as some online oppression olympics maliciously trying to divide the community, smear transmascs, and "reinvent bioessentialism". That is not what it is about. Discussions about transmisogyny is about how we are treated for being what we are, and while related to transphobia and misogyny it is seperate because it often represents doors other trans people and women can walk through that transfems cannot. It has affected me in my most intimate moments when I was with other trans and queer people I felt safe around, and taught me that I need to carefully manage my persona and presentation at all times lest my authenticity be branded "male socialization". I am even terrified to express attraction to people who express attraction towards me because I'm so used to being treated like a predator upon reciprocating or being used and abandoned by people I trusted. I am terrified to be too excited about shared interests with friends lest I be too loud or talkative about it and branded with aggressive male socialization. So I make myself quiet and small, and shrink from the community and people I care about, and become more and more isolated.

Anyways, stop platforming anons who spread lies about trans women, stop hopping on TERF harassment campaigns because the trans gal they're smearing "gave you bad vibes", and maybe consider carefully if in your own life where you draw the line for a transfem's behavior is any different from where you'd draw the line for anyone who's not one.

[letslearnyall]

there’s all these things talking about how transandrophobia is such a “white” concept and i don’t get it at all 

i’m an Indigenous trans man, and in my culture, long hair is seen as masculine. that said, society at large.. to put it shortly, does not agree with that. as a result i’ve been forced to choose between embracing my culture by growing my hair long, and being seen as a man by the non-Indigenous people around me by cutting my hair short

i’ve cut my hair short. and it brings me grief, a lot of it. i didn’t do anything to honour the hair after i cut it because i was so focused on finally being seen as a man, and it hurts me to know that in failing to do so i’ve hurt my ancestors who fought and died for simple things like their right to keep their hair long

transandrophobia as a word helps me describe this struggle, this mourning, this one or the other choice of being who i am. transandrophobia doesn’t only describe the oppression that white transmasculine people face for their transmasculinity. it describes Indigenous transmascs, Black transmascs, Latino transmascs, Asian transmascs, so many BIPOC experiences

to equate transandrophobia to being just a white thing erases the voice of myself and many other BIPOC who are finally, finally able to talk about our experiences with society’s rejection of our cultural masculinity, now that we have a word for it. so please, stop calling transandrophobia a white thing, because it really, really isn’t

[letslearnyall]

people need to realize that sexual harassment & assault can happen in women's only spaces. and cis straight women can and are frequent perpetrators (sexual harassment & assault do not require attraction). & the idea that women are just naturally safe to be around makes it harder for victims to speak up and be taken seriously because "but we're all girls! it's fine if I deny your autonomy if we're girls it's just a fun joke :)"

if you want to make women's spaces safer for victims of sexual assault, you need to focus on empowering ALL victims & not making sweeping generalizations based in bigotry.

[letslearnyall]

i think it's good to remind yourself that there will always be someone who's hell bent on taking what you have to say in bad faith, and that's their problem, not yours

[letslearnyall]

Maybe, perhaps, all trans people experience socialization in ways that are unique and individual and can only be defined by the trans person themself.

Some trans people may say "yes, I did experience gendered socialization that corresponds to the sex I was assigned at birth" - because that was their lived experience as a child. Other trans people may say "no, I did not experience gendered socialization that corresponded to the sex I was assigned at birth", because that was their lived experience as a child. Some trans people may say "I experienced a mix of male and female socialization", and still others may say "I experienced gendered socialization in a way that cannot be mapped onto the male/female dichotomy". And more!

[letslearnyall]

José Sarria was a World War II veteran who made his living as a popular drag queen at San Francisco's Black Cat Bar. When drag queens at the bar were harassed by the police for impersonating women, he made them cat-shaped tags that said "I'm a boy" so police would not have cause to arrest them. He also encouraged those charged with crimes to never plead guilty and draw the police and DA into long, drawn-out trials that couldn't prove anything.

In 1961, Sarria made history by running for the San Francisco board of supervisors, becoming the first openly gay person to run for public office in the United States. When city officials realized that Sarria would win because there were four candidates and five seats, they flooded the ballot with 34 candidates, ensuring that Sarria would lose. Eventually, the seat he ran for would be filled by Harvey Milk.

In spite of the loss, Sarria continued with his political activism. He founded the Tavern Guild of San Francisco, which protected gay bars from police persecution, and the Society for Individual Rights, which helped educate the gay community about their rights when facing the police.

Sarria continued to perform in drag. When he was crowned queen at the Beaux Arts ball in 1964, he declared himself "Her Royal Majesty, Empress of San Francisco, José I, The Widow Norton," and founded the Imperial Court System, a network throughout the US, Canada, and Mexico that did fundraising for various LGBT charities.

[letslearnyall]

An article written by Delisa Newton for Sepia Publishing (1966)

[letslearnyall]

I'm queer myself but am not really in too many masc circles, so pardon me if this impression is wrong. I've always gotten this vibe from how people act on here that bears in the queer community are usually viewed as tops, like they're inherently dominant and the protector/carer for their partner. Whereas how people talk about twinks has always made it sound like twinks are inherently submissive bottoms, the little spoon to a bear's big spoon, the one who gets to be protected and cared for by their partner. And I have to say, I don't think it's a coincidence that twinks, an identity that supposedly only thin people are allowed to have, get to be the queer community's submissive little spoon while fat men are pigeonholed to the single role of "Masculine, big, dominant top." Over and over again, I see the queer community pressure and force fat people into that type of role. A fat person of any gender being feminine or submissive? Preposterous! People even do this for queer ships in fandoms. Bigger than your partner? Please step into the "Giant teddy bear whose only purpose is to meet the needs of your smaller and thus more innocent partner" line. Like feminine, fat, queer men are even used as a homophobic stereotype and the butt of jokes. Can we stop doing this?

-Mod Worthy