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[letterflybutterfly]

an open letter to myself

I would rather die ten thousand deaths then feel how I feel at this very moment. I'm in the biggest fight for my life literally with myself. I lay in bed at night and  beat myself up for feeling not good enough and i wonder what i shouldve done. How do you battle life when you've not only lost yourself but what you have been fighting for and what you want? Its emotionally exhausting to keep feeling unhappy. What makes life so important if you literally have nothing left. No fight, no desire, no motivation, and no happiness. And then i justify it, or try to atleast. Shit happens. What are you gonna do, give up or quit? No, I realize now that when your heart breaks, you got to fight like hell to make sure your still alive. Because you are. And that pain you feel? That's life. The confusion and fear? That's there to remind you, that somewhere out there is something better, and that something is worth fighting for.

[letterflybutterfly]

[letterflybutterfly]

[letterflybutterfly]

[letterflybutterfly]

Chapter 2.

[letterflybutterfly]

An Open Letter to, Myself

[letterflybutterfly]

[letterflybutterfly]

[letterflybutterfly]

Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.

– Lou Holtz

[letterflybutterfly]

Realization

With another day coming to an end and the waiting for an uncertain future tomorrow. The World survived yet another day of battles. I sit here outside  as i try and jumble my thoughts down in one little post. The last couple months have been nothing short of relentless. If its not one thing, its another. I try to stay optimistict, as everyone has their own worries and their own problems…and let me tell you, i would like to have my own problems over someone else’ any day. 

**side note- i put quoatations around trials because they are hardly trials, but more life lessons.

“Trails” come in every shape, color, size and  wish every one came with a diections manuel. BUT unfurtuantly they do not. As i am re-living the last couple of months i realize, yes it has been hard and ive hated every second of dealing with these “trials” but i have come to appreciate them. Every trial is a lesson learned. It made me regain pieces of me that I have lost in both myself and my life. 

SO i have come to “Self-Relization”. Fulfillment of my own potential. Doing what makes ME happy and investing in those who make me the happiest. I have relaized whats important in life and what is most valuable. I want nothing short of happiness for myself and the ones a care about. I am not taikng a day for granted. Life is too short to be unhappy

[letterflybutterfly]

Mood.

[letterflybutterfly]

[letterflybutterfly]

[letterflybutterfly]

[letterflybutterfly]

What if you meet the right person, but at the wrong time?

(via perrfectly)

[letterflybutterfly]

[letterflybutterfly]

Day one hundred and sixty four of three hundred and sixty five.