letters-i-dont-send

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i hate all you fucking people that have the time and money to do all the shit you want. no matter how hard i try i just rot here and the only thing im good at is hurting people and getting angry over nothing and ruining lives

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everyone hates me and doesn't want to talk to me idk why idk what i did wrong

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im so bad at existing i should die

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npd culture is your friend not complimenting stuff you spent a lot of time on (he did compliment it, but only after i asked if it's good, and even then he just said it's Not bad) and your entire day immediately being ruined !

(could we have this signoff?)

-🌀🕯️

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[letters-i-dont-send]

im so tired of not being allowed to be happy. happiness is complacency, and complacency guarantees that you're going to let everyone down. after all the suffering they endured to get you this far, you're going to squander it like a stupid, ungrateful brat for what? happiness? can you survive on happiness? will it feed you? clothe you? shelter you? is being happy worth knowing that no matter what, you chose to back down? you chose to let go, despite everyone else's hopes riding solely on you. you let yourself fall into uselessness all on your own. how does it feel? are you happy?

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NPD is never being good enough.

NPD is being isolated from everybody else.

NPD is knowing you will never form connections to people like egotypicals do.

NPD is never being authentic.

NPD is feeling empty inside.

NPD is constant paranoia and the sickening feeling of thinking everyone is going to sabotage you.

NPD is constant distrust.

NPD is self hatred.

NPD is feeling sick when others succeed.

NPD is knowing love will never be enough for you, you need obsession, devotion, to be the most important person, to be the air they breathe, to be worshipped but knowing they will probably never be that to you.

NPD is needing control.

NPD is constantly feeling underestimated and belittled.

NPD is having to be admired by everyone.

NPD is the want to be feared and respected.

NPD is never feeling satisfied.

NPD is competing with socially assertive people and getting unbearably angry at them for purposefully stealing your spotlight.

NPD is nobody understanding your struggles irl.

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NPD culture is listening to peoples problems and sometimes just wondering why they can't just suck it up. Like, I could, why can't you?

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[letters-i-dont-send]

ANIS MOJGANI x ALEXANDER HARDING

‘For Those Who Can Still Ride In An Airplane For The First Time’, spoken word, uploaded on Youtube on 20 Apr. 2009;

Visible Light series (2010), photography

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"I wouldn't want to bother anyone," I say as the thing inside of me eats me alive.

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why is literally everyone better than me at everything that's not allowed

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im literally so stupid how am i still alive. how did i stay alive this long

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just say that you got bored of me already

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why am i always the one fucking waiting for someone to text back

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you only need me for your pity party

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i don't have time for everything

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like. if you don't want to spend time w me anymore you can just. say so. lmao