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We looked inside some of the posts by letting-go-but-i-dont-want-to and here's what we found interesting.
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Notes Per Post
7
Likes Per Post
7
Reblog Per Post
0
Reply Per Post
0
Time Between Posts
25 days
Number of Posts By Type
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17
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It’s been awhile, how are you doing? Hope you’re doing fine and everything’s all right for you, friend. How’s school and how’s life overall?
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damn sometimes i really feel like a secret genius
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funny thing is i still defend you when people talk shit about you to me HAHAHA
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honestly, i just want to know are you really getting on fine without me? like do you not think of me or do you not feel sad or do you not miss me HAHAHA you really getting on just fine without me?
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I hate stupid dreams that show me the impossible.
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I guess all that matters is it was fun while it lasted and we were happy :)
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damn done with all this stupidity sia for reals.
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I was quite dumb to do that HAHA. Thankfully you will be the first and last time i ever do that.
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Damn when i think abt it i really did alot to try to make you happy HAHAHAHA
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Everything i did i always did it just to try and impress you, to gain your admiration. I think it’s high time i did it for my own sake. :)
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how do i move on from you when all i think about is you. how to, when all that i do everyday is pretend to be okay in the day then drown in our memories at night. how do i be okay with every future i ever imagined for us no longer existing?
honestly, i do feel like i might be annoying or making you dulan with all this nonsense haha. i do feel like i’m the fool or the clown because i’m still in love with you. but how do i stop being in love with you when i’ve never stopped all these years? this is so fucking hard. i miss you. i miss talking to you. i miss going out to places and having fun times with you. i miss sleeping together, eating together and watching movies together. i miss holding your hand and hugging you.
can we just skip to the scene and part in my head that we realise we were stupid and were meant to be together, hug, kiss and tell each other that we’ll never leave again?
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I also want to move on. But i can’t, i’m struggling so hard. I also don’t want to be the one fool that’s still in love with a girl that’s moving on. Or be the idiot that still had hope and is waiting for something to happen.
Either way, i’ve never been in this stage before, i’ve never not moved on or still have hope and wait. I don’t know how it works or feels or what not. End of the day, i also want to move on and not make a fool out of myself but it’s so fucking hard and i’m struggling like hell.
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what i do know is that as much as i want to talk to you, i can’t force a conversation. when i asked you, i wasn’t trying to talk it was an actual question. but again, i’ll say that i understand and that i won’t force you. cause wouldn’t it be so much worse if smth really happen and my last memory of you is being in an aggressive forced conversation. that’s the worst man. just know and remember that if anyth happens because life is so stupidly uncertain, my letter to you is in my notes. please get to it and read it before the funeral or what not. because there’s one last thing i need you to do for me and it’ll tell you what it is. okay, enough with the morbid talk for now, just you do you and if/when you want to talk, i’m ready.
stay safe and take care
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Holy fuck it’s been awhile since i’ve been in such a mess.
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fuck tonight my heart really hurts so badly haha
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Knn why he have to tell me this story. So Nic met this girl that had this damn fucking sad story and experience. So he just share it with me and tell me about it ah. It make me think like crazy. So let me tell you the story and see if my thinking is rational or not.
So there was this girl, and she was dating this guy. Then they together for awhile already so they quite into the relationship la. Then they broke up. Then they split apart already but still got complicated things and all. Then both parties try dating other people like y’know the post break up phase. Then a few months after they break up, when the girl decided to want to talk to the guy again, she texted the guy. BUT just at the moment she texted the guy, the guy’s friend called her. And said that the guy just collapse because he had a brain aneurysm out of no where and collapsed into a coma!! He never even got to see what she texted. Subsequently, he never woke up and he passed on. Then the girl was saying how she’s in so much pain and so much regret. And i felt so fucking bad for the girl and it’s been like 3 years since and she’s still in this state.
So after Nic told me the story i was like so shook ah. Like wtf one day normal then the next day and moment suddenly die out of no where. Worst part is they never talked again before he die. Then the girl got so many fking things to say and the things the guy want to say he can never say. Plus the fella die when he’s 23 so it’s damn young ah. Wah i cannot sia. Fuck me and Nic talk about this then we both say it’s such a shit way to go and shit way to die. So many words unsaid and so many things undone. As for me i’d hate going out like that like so many things i’ve yet to do in life that i want to do and so many things i want to accomplish in life. I still want to travel the world, I still want to eat nice food, i still want to live life, i still want to say things to people that i haven’t said and i still want to get married and have a family and live a nice life. Fuck i’d hate to go like this. And i’d hate to go while i can’t talk to my best friend. Like it’s like thinking of someone everyday and missing someone and suddenly lights off. SO MANY THINGS UNSAID AND UNDONE AND SO MANY WHAT IFS. WAH i really cannot deal with this sia to live a life full of regret sia i cannot die in peace. IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS FEELING BUT fuckkkkk it’s such a shit feeling. And i was already having a shit night and this thought came about. I know you don’t like to talk about this but fuck i really cannot go out like this. This is a whole different world of thoughts and regrets and life sia. Now Nic tell me he scared he don’t wake up tomorrow. Nic even wrote a letter to jalyn in case he suddenly die. It’s such a shit thing and shit way to go out rlly. But honestly, having said all this and you’re not ready to talk yet, i understand, i really do. I just wanted to talk about how stupid and fucked up life is to suddenly do this kind of things to people. So damn tragic. This one really heart pain man
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