lextasyb

[lextasyb]

in another universe you're telling me about your day

[lextasyb]

Can’t get you outta my head…

[lextasyb]

thinking about you

hope it’s good thoughts

[lextasyb]

I met another piru tn. thought of you.

[lextasyb]

omg I’m so emotional lol what if that’s the last time I see my tito. what if that’s the last time I hug him or hold his hand. he has cancer. he’s dying. I barely know him. I’m his favorite. I already miss him.

I miss having a filipino boyfriend. I miss feeling whole like that. I couldn’t stop crying listening to the couple talk about how their original wedding didn’t have that many people and the renewal had close to 200+. enough to fill a hall. I’m so moved.

wow I’m really drunk I gotta go lol.

[lextasyb]

I had a dream about you the other night, which is weird cause I haven’t in a while.

we were friends again and you were still dating your girl. I miss being friends. I guess my heart hasn’t let that go idk.

[lextasyb]

honestly lmao like I just haven’t met anyone compelling lol

[lextasyb]

im drunk and i miss you. i miss being in a club and flirting w you tipsy.

[lextasyb]

I appreciate the little things you remember about me. the clothes I wear, the things I like. makes me feel a little less crazy.

[lextasyb]

it crossed my mind I feel like you would’ve had fun in miami.

also I wish I could vent to you about this wannabes tension lol.

[lextasyb]

I can’t even be your friend. omg I’m so drunk idk. I’m so drunk and sad that I can’t be your friend. so sad..

[lextasyb]

went to the Bryson tiller concert and the song you sent me came on. right my wrongs. I hope you’re ok. it made me tear up cause it hit differently now. i could feel that you mean it now.

sigh.

and then some other girl started talking about Vegas and my other ex and I just lmao. like get me out of here.

[lextasyb]

it’s my bday and I wish you were here but it’s ok. I know times have changed.

[lextasyb]

being told to chill out is brutal

[lextasyb]

wow I’m drunk lol I really miss you. idk why I kid myself into thinking that I regret everything cause the truth is I would’ve done every single thing the exact same way and more.

[lextasyb]

I cringe thinking about how much I threw myself at you for years and years even after everything and you didn’t care lol.

wow I was so into you. I can’t wait til I feel that way about someone again and they actually reciprocate.

[lextasyb]

I know I still hold all this anger for how everything went down w us but I’m still so immensely proud of you and happy to see your life coming together. two things can be true at the same time I suppose.

I just miss talking to you. it’s like a safe space I can never go back to anymore. and it hurts. idk why parts of me still expect you to come back.

i still believe the right guy will come along eventually and I’ll forget about all of this and the pain will dull out. maybe this is just impatience speaking.

I know nothing is permanent, it’s ok that our lives have parted ways, but I really didn’t deserve all that.