libaleee

[libaleee]

for people who haven't been exposed to trader joes lentils for my wife guy, you're welcome

[libaleee]

This genuinely pissed me off because conservatives have been talking about these fucking files for years, and when they're in power and can release them, they don't do it and instead make jokes about it

The GOP are children, apparently.

I don't expect anything ground breaking in the Epstein files (you know it'll be redacted) but the fact their voters still can't see how the GOP is disrespecting them is just depressing.

[libaleee]

when i was

[libaleee]

yesss im always saying this like sure i can give you logical advice but at the end of the day you can just do what you want to do until youre sick of it. cant move on cant switch gears til youre sick of it so go ahead and indulge

[libaleee]

Girl, you made me giggle. How can I ever repay you?

[libaleee]

[libaleee]

[libaleee]

carrying all the groceries up so my wife doesnt have to

[libaleee]

[libaleee]

[libaleee]

my brother had a brilliant idea that i wanted to share with other people who have four-legged family members: he trained our two cats to go directly to the door when they hear the fire alarm.

obviously at first the fire alarm sent them scrambling for cover, but he started slowly by giving them treats whenever it went off, when someone burned food or forgot to open the fireplace flu. he then progressed to calling them to the door to offer treats immediately after the alarm went off. and it actually wasn't too long before the cats voluntarily started going to the door upon hearing the alarm.

i think this was genius because in the event of a real emergency we know exactly where the cats will be and we will not have to waste precious time trying to find them to rescue them. i think this method would work equally well with dogs and probably other free-roaming pets such as rabbits, ferrets, etc. and i certainly encourage others to give it a shot!

[libaleee]

Gimme a drink bartender

[libaleee]

I don’t usually say things like this, but:

Slay

[libaleee]

can I be so honest. can I be so real. is this a safe space.

I don't actually think that a 21 year old hooking up with a 30 year old is that bad. I don't think it's a problem the way people make it out to be. that's two legal adults having sex, chief.

[libaleee]

being 5'7" is so fucked. AND i'm a top. i suffer more than you could ever know.

[libaleee]

Me: my god.. i did it.. i killed him..!

Angel on my shoulder: we're extremely fortunate. You shot him in the side of the head and you're wearing gloves. Place the gun in his hand and set the house ablaze. Officer Goger's tragic suicide will be the perfect cover story

Devil on my shoulder: Goger was always eating stuffing and spelt wheat and steel cut oats. Bet he'd taste reeeeal good on a spit with an apple in his mouth. Come on, i've seen the way you've looked at him..

My tulpa, a 6'9" DD smokeshow hottie PS1 graphics anthro leopard girl in a lab coat: you must put a baby in me Your Highness, quickly!

[libaleee]

From 3DBearnadette on tweeter...