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As , the United States, potentially heads into another forever war I can only think of this quote.

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let's stare lovingly at mama

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oh ok

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Hydration Elixir

Okay, so, it's about to get Hot and Humid in the USA, so I'mma spring my tried-and-tested Hydration Elixir! For this recipe you will need:

Salt

Lemons

Water

Warning: DO NOT drink Hydration Elixir by itself! This is an elixir meant to be mixed in small quantities with a regular-sized glass or bottle of water! You're making the equivalent of a family supper-sized quantity of elixir, not an individual meal.

Instructions:

Step 1: Take a lemon, cut it in half, and juice it.

(Substitute Step 1: In the event of no lemons or inability to juice one, measure out a quarter cup of lemon juice.)

Step 2: Set lemon juice to side.

Step 3: Boil approximately two cups of water, then mix in a generous teaspoon of salt. (note: boiling the water makes the salt dissolve fast with minimal stirring, and that is why we're doing it)

Step 4: Allow salted water to cool.

Step 5: Mix lemon juice into salted water (note: Mixing the juice and water together when the water is hot makes the whole thing taste worse later)

Step 6: Pour your newly-crafted elixir into a bottle or jar with a lid, then put in fridge to cool.

Directions on Use:

Add a teaspoon or so of Hydration Elixir to a larger glass or bottle of water when you have been sweating to help replace salt lost due to said sweat. The lemon juice adds some nice vitamins and a pleasant taste to make it all more palatable.

Use Hydration Elixir in moderation, you've just made enough to last you a week or so, with enough to share some around with friends. Quickly drinking a concoction that consists of two cups of water, a lemon's worth of juice, and a teaspoon of salt will clean out your innards but good, and you will survive but it will be with Regrets.

Again, Hydration Elixir is meant to be mixed with a large quantity of plain water. The recipe is as it is because it's easier to quantify how much of each ingredient (especially the salt) to use for a bulk batch and how much of the batch you should probably take than to give measurements for a single glass of the stuff.

Plus, if you've got it already made and chilling in the fridge, then you just need to plop a teaspoon into a glass of water when you've come in hot and sweaty and tired or mix some into your water bottle to take with you before you head out.

Stay safe and stay hydrated!

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🔥🐾

(There is no hyena emoji)

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Hey man, ahead of this heatwave I'm gonna go ahead and rip the veil off of something for you:

The reason American Southerners have the luxury of saying that 90 ain't that bad and it's not unbearable until it's 100 is 1) prolonged exposure to high temperatures over multiple decades 2) our mindset for these living conditions.

You don't have number 1, and you can't just acquire it, so I need you to adopt number 2 immediately. How do you live like a Southerner in the heat?

Don't be a hero.

Stay inside. Buy a box fan, put it next to a bucket of ice, and wrap your arms around it like a lover. Do not leave the shade under any circumstances. If a dude makes fun of you for getting out of the sun, don't get mad, just think of a funnier insult to call him while you flip him off and go stand under a tree.

Southerners love nothing more than to exaggerate and lie to each other. Like I think we got off on the wrong foot when you walked in on us saying things like "It was only 110, I didn't even take my damn jacket off" when really, last week it was 95 at 10 PM and we were on the bed buck nekkid in front of the fan moaning incoherently and praying to die. So yeah, we can take extreme heat. We also want you to think we can take ludicrous heat. You must learn to talk shit and then be a hypocrite and a coward in your actions, because this will serve you best.

It sounds like I am joking but I cannot express to you how much I am not. Do not fuck with Mother Nature, because that bitch will kill you. Take every opportunity to lower your body temperature and drink water, because that is what all of us in hot climates are doing all the time, and that is why we are not dead, even when it seems like we should be.

(And yeah, we do go through like two and a half ugly weeks in April every year where everyone wants to absolutely just goddamn drop dead because none of us have our heat tolerance back, but we must go to work anyway, which must be a crime. And yes, when it gets below 70 we really all do short circuit and cover ourselves in seven jackets, except for Shorts Guy.)

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Tombstone with a sculptural portrait of Edward Woodstock.

Edward of Woodstock (1330 –1376), known to history as the Black Prince, was a one of the most successful English commanders during the Hundred Years' War, being regarded by his English contemporaries as a model of chivalry and one of the greatest knights of his age.Edward was buried with great state in Canterbury Cathedral.His epitaph inscribed around his effigy reads:

Such as thou art, sometime was I.

Such as I am, such shalt thou be.

I thought little on th'our of Death

So long as I enjoyed breath.

On earth I had great riches

Land, houses, great treasure, horses, money and gold.

But now a wretched captive am I,

Deep in the ground, lo here I lie.

My beauty great, is all quite gone,

My flesh is wasted to the bone

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Ace of Cups. Art by Cedar McCloud, from The Magic Pantry Tarot.

▪ New beginnings ▪ New emotions ▪ Ease and comfort ▪ Curiosity Strawberries are one of the first fruits to ripen in the spring! This card represents new beginnings, a springtime in your life or the situation you’re querying about. What does this new beginning mean to you? Does it come after a long, difficult winter? Has the sun come out at last? What will you do with all the shiny new opportunities hanging from the vines, waiting for you to pick them? Along with new beginnings come new emotions. We see the arrival of the strawberries and understand that time has passed and indeed, keeps on going! How does this new chapter or opportunity in your life make you feel? Does the idea of starting something new excite you, scare you, both? Sometimes this card can indicate new relationships, whether platonic or romantic. Who has popped up in your life recently, like the strawberry appearing on its plant? Strawberries are SWEET! The Ace of Cups may indicate an easygoing time and comfort in the situation at hand. Lie back and enjoy the fruit at hand; allow its sweetness to carry you through any difficulties that might arise. That bright red of the strawberry peeking through the green is eye-catching! This card can sometimes stand for curiosity—what’s catching your eye these days? What are you curious about? How can you explore it further?

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The USA has just bombed Iran

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they should invent a 2025 where good things happen

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US state borders but they are based off rivers and mountains

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