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[lifeaccordingtoadam-blog]

Where are these girls at?!?  This is what i need in my life.

[lifeaccordingtoadam-blog]

::: Still So Freakin’ Confused :::

   So I asked Facebook girls to chime in with their opinions on why girls can’t talk to guys without seeing them as boyfriend/husband material, with an emphasis on why girls say they aren’t shallow when it seems like they are the most shallow. It wasn’t a surprise when the majority of the comments were women trying to defend their gender and bash the other. Not saying guys wouldn’t do the same, but why is that always the response? How come humans can’t just have basic conversation without losing the point to something pointless?? There were three points made that had any insight on my topic: 1) For some bizarre reason, the location in which you talk to girls is key...despite seeing differently in all chick flicks. 2) You have 5 seconds to tell a story that any girl couldn't tell in a year long relationship. Why? Still don't have your answer. And 3) If you noticed the female response, it was all based on their thoughts on a guy being their boyfriend/husband, which is my original point. Why is that the only alternative to conversation? Why can't we just share a laugh and move on? Why can't we just hang out, share some thoughts and go home?? Why is every word of mine going on a resume?!?    Not seeing the conversation leading to these conclusions sucks, I know, but trust me, you’re not missing much. But I can assure you, this is what was told to me, even though it still makes no sense to me still. And it seems the more you try and figure it out, the more you’re met with hatred for men, defensive responses and just total lack of anything helpful in answering the question.    So i’m left with this....a question in which no answer can be discussed. There totally IS an answer but at what length do I have to dig to reveal it’s secret? Why isn’t this an easy question to answer? And most importantly, why is it soooo drastically different between guys and girls?  Let me clarify: GUYS: They will talk to anyone who talks to them. They will usually even initiate conversation! Yes, they judge based on a lot of superficial standards but they at least give a spec of interest no matter what. I know, you’ll say it’s because of sexual needs but why is that a bad thing? At least you’re not instantly being shut down and feeling like a total idiot!  GIRLS: They will only talk to those they have deemed worthy. Only those who have proven themselves to some insane standard.... except other girls, but this is usually to figure out why they exist and what their purpose is. They treat everything like it’s a cop reading rights to a criminal.....everything you say and do WILL be used against you in a court of human interaction. What they perceive as being nice is only to those who they feel have earned it yet barely give any chance to earn such title.    There is more to be said about both genders on this topic but my point is generally, guys are definitely more accepting of the other gender, no contest. Just because you might see it as a sexual advance doesn’t mean he isn’t being open, talkative, accepting, conversational, and just all around trying to encourage human interaction. And I would totally rather some girl tell me I look good and they want me over how girls handle this situation with laughing, mean looks, turning around, making harsh comments in return, etc.     I’ve found one girl who has given me a chance to talk, hang out, get to know and she is glad she has! We are developing a great friendship and it’s totally legit. All she did was allow me to talk to her for an entire evening while we listened to music, that’s it! Is that so god damn hard to do? For real, I just don’t understand this thought process. Why is she the only girl out of the entire female gender that realizes a person can’t be judged in 5 seconds? Why is she the only girl that realizes that maybe someone who at first seems different could maybe have qualities that trump the superficial crap you’re already thinking?     I leave you all with this thought: If you’re a girl who thinks all guys are the same and suck, you’re insanely wrong. There are probably at least 3 guys RIGHT NOW who would treat you like a freakin Queen but no, you’ve already done your 5 second evaluation and somehow that justifies everything about him. Maybe if you just took one night, JUST ONE FREAKIN NIGHT to get to know someone for more than you’re 5 second judgement, you may just be surprised to figure out what you’ve been looking for has been trying to tell you just that this whole time. And guys, you gotta quit this whole sex is everything crap too or girls will just become more scared of any sort of trust they have left. 

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*** 2017 Isn’t What Any Of Us Imagined ***    I talk a lot about how I think this world is so different than it was when I was a kid and yes, I know, I sound like every other old crotchety man that has ever told stories but I swear there is one slight difference...... I think this time i’m right! Allow me to explain: Example #1: The People Ah yes, the people, society, loved ones, friends, strangers, passer-bys, humans...boy, have we changed! There once was a time where people generally cared about each other, went out of their way to help someone, and most importantly, saw the common man as someone approachable and genuine. When you see a stranger now, what is YOUR first thoughts? Are you happy to see another human or are you instantly afraid? The new norm about how we perceive each other has become by far the single worst trait in humanity to date. When someone needs help, we walk away. When we see diversity, it’s seen as evil. When someone gives a compliment, it’s taken as creepy. Even basic human decency has completely been wiped from our social norms. Human interaction both in real life and online has become nothing more than another reason to hate or fear each other. People have changed and those of us who realize the change are powerless. Example #2: The Reality We’re always questioning what is real or what is fake. Are we looking at computer graphic or real life? Are we seeing the true nature of the event or an edited version to change our opinions? Is that picture of someone really them or angled and filtered to give a new impression? Is anyone or anything real anymore? To be honest, I find it almost impossible to find anything truly real anymore. The food we eat is all chemicals. The movies we watch are all just clicks of a mouse. The news we read is all just bias towards who payed for the ad you watched before it. Even the people who you think you’re talking to are trying to trick you into thinking they look, act, talk and think better than they really do. For real, what’s real anymore?!?  Example #3: Our Thoughts Every day I witness new articles, videos, reports, etc that disregard truth, science, beliefs and everything else we have worked so hard all of these years to find answers for. Flat earth, chem trails, global warming....are any of these ringing any bells? We’ve all heard of these and we all have our opinions but the truth, THE TRUTH is that we have actual science and facts to prove that one side of each of these so called conspiracies are right and the other is wrong. The difference is, at one point, people believed in facts and truth. Something happened along the way, something I still can’t figure out that made people completely disregard truth. I know, your first statement will be about how the world is corrupt and the next will be about how we’ve been lied to and so on. I get it, I really do and to be honest, I am right there with you! We HAVE been lied to by people in power and others who we have thought had the answers. What I can’t figure out is why that means no one is ever telling the truth anymore? Why does this mean we can look at actual physical proof and just blatantly disregard it? It’s human nature to wonder, to question, to look further. Unfortunately, this has gotten out of hand as has become our number one weakness in strengthening our race and place on this planet.    How we fix this problem has been debated by many great minds and many more and far less great minds. Many answers have been questioned and even more solutions have been disregarded. It almost seems like we don’t want to fix any problems or solve any issues. It’s almost as though we have accepted the corrupt world we have created and are waiting for something to happen to change it all back to the way it was, or the way it should be. What most of you don’t realize is that WE are the problem and if WE don’t change ourselves then, well, I guess the problem just becomes the way it will always be.    And i’m sure you’re reading this and saying, “It’s not me, it’s them” but I ask you to take a look at yourself for a moment. Look at your social media. Look at your life choices. Look at how you talk, react, treat, and most importantly, effect those around you. How many of your Facebook pictures are of a specific angle with a filter? How many times you’ve watched something happened and ran away instead of helped? How many times you read about something and decided that your opinion is a better source than someone who has dedicated their entire lives to something? How many times have you looked at someone and have came to a conclusion based on absolutely no knowledge of that person? How many times have you shared something on social media without reading it or researching it to be sure it’s actually true? We’ve all done it and will continue to do it but my question to you is why? Why do you do this? Knowing full well that it’s only adding to the problems with this world, why? Only YOU are to blame and you damn well know it.

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   So it’s been about 3 months since i’ve been in a relationship; actually, it was an engagement. That’s right, someone wanted to marry me...until it actually came down to signing the papers. I won’t get into it but it was actually a good decision on our part to break up but I digress...    But what hurts the most is that it’s been about 6 years since i’ve truly been single and i’m stuck in a world where everything is so different, so.....so much worse.    I’ve tried all the dating apps/sites, had absolutely no responses. For real, not even one girl has said yes, swiped right, whatever. I’ve tried going out to bars/clubs and have had the exact same result of nothing. I’ve reached out to hundreds of girls with messages that are both genuine and sincere and yet, nothing.      But why is that? What has happened in the last 6 years? Am I the problem or is it the world I now live in? This is the question i’ve been trying to answer and as much as I want to blame myself so that I can change and control the situation, i’m only finding out more and more that it’s the world that has changed, not me.    If you ask anyone who truly knows me, they will tell you endless stories about how nice I am, how helpful I am to anyone in need, how I treat all females (and people in general) with complete respect and dignity. I’ve had jobs where I take care of old people and have won awards for doing it so well. I’ve given everything I can to make everyone around me happy and better off in life. So yeah, what’s the deal? What’s the issue here? What is the source for all female reluctance??     If you can answer this, please enlighten me because 6 years ago, I lived in a world where everything I am was sought after, wanted, looked up to, etc. No joke, I had multiple girls who wanted to be with me and I even started dating a punk rock model, no joke! No I spend every night alone, almost begging for even the tiniest bit of company. I’ve had girls blow me off, i’ve had some say they wanted to hang out then never hear from them again, and i’ve even had them trick me into thinking they were interested but come to find out her and her boyfriend were just laughing at how lame I was. Honestly, i’ve never felt so hurt and alone in my entire life and for the first time, I truly feel like I will end up alone.     I don;t know what to do except change who I am and as we all know, that will never happen. But the bigger question is, should I change? And if so, change into what?!? I seriously have no idea what happened to this world that made every female so brutal, so heartless, so afraid to even give me a chance to take them out and talk to them. I’ve come to the conclusion that yes, the world has changed on me and I will continue to be the awesome and amazing person you all know me to be. And maybe some day some girl will give me a chance and see exactly what i can offer her in this life. Until then, I guess i’ll just keep typing

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Things You Wish You Knew or Should Have Been Told

So I turned 30 this year and have been thinking of everything I've gone through in my adulthood and I have to admit, i'm not too impressed. I feel like I've wasted a lot of time, a lot of money and mostly a lot of sanity. I then wonder what I could have salvaged if I would have known what I know now. So here it is, the things I wish I knew in my 20's that would have changed my life now:

1) People - I've learned that most people in your 20's suck (for lack of better words). Not that I want to make a pessimistic statement, but it's true. Most people only care about themselves and even though they act like they care about you, they will drop you or screw you over the second it benefits them. Yes, even your precious BFF from high school will more than likely see better opportunity in someone else. Times have changed and unfortunately, it's for the worse. Everyone wants to sue you, some people want to cause you harm, others are pulling pranks for YouTube views. You just never know what people are thinking but what I do know is most of them don't care about you any more than they care about the toilet paper they flush after wiping. What I Wish I Knew: Trying to be nice to everyone is a waste of time. Your friends and family are your best hope but even they can turn their backs on you in a heartbeat. Expect everything you give and everything you do is probably for nothing and you won't be disappointed.

2) Hobbies - You will be amazed at how different your lists of activities will change from age 20 to age 30. As you go through your 20's, a lot of life changing things happen to you and everyone else around you. Unfortunately, this tends to destroy most activities you once felt you couldn't live without. How many of you feel or have felt like your sports team, cheerleading squad or band group is your everything in life and you can't possibly imagine life without it? I hate to break it to you, but no one at the age of 30 still does ANY of that. How about all of those crazy ideas you had about being in a rock band or acting in the next blockbuster film? Unfortunately, those are all just dreams and very rarely come true. What I Wish I Knew: That knowing these things are just dreams and not actually what will happen. I spent years of time and god knows how much money thinking all of the things I like and can do will make me millions and i'll always have time for them. If I spent that time and money on my career, I would definitely be closer to those millions!

3) Music - Just like your parents didn't understand your music, you will soon not understand new music as well. I can't for the life of me figure out what people see in Justin Beiber and Miley Cyrus. Why is dance and rap music so popular now? I can't tell you why this happens, but I can assure you that it will. Just hold on to what you like and leave the rest alone. What I Wish I Knew: That no one really cares that you don't like new music. The only people who care of those younger than you and in a few years, they will se things your way. Don't waste your time trying to memorize lyrics to song you don't enjoy, it's just a waste of time and sanity.

4) Trends - They are exactly that, trends. Do not fall into them and by all means necessary, keep them away from your friends because you will only be sucked in shortly after. Before the age of 20, trends were the only way to be cool. Now that high school is over, they are just signs to those in the grown up world that you are stuck in the past. Most people in their 20's get a career, a family and try to better themselves. While doing all of that, they can care less about the new fall line at Pac Sun and what's trending on Twitter. If you don't believe me, find someone who is 30 and ask them about what someone Tweeted. Then, ask them what they think of their heating bill being increased due to higher gas prices. Tell me which topic they talk more passionately about! What I Wish I Knew: That even though they are new trends, they are still trends and to not worry about them. Things like utility bills, insurance, 401k, etc are FAR more important than anything you see in commercials on tv. You can't live without those things but you can live every day of your life without knowing what jacket to wear this Fall season.

5) Friends - The sad truth is, you were friends in high school because you all had similar lifestyles and interests. You had the same classes, liked the same bands and had the same extracurricular activities. Now that you all have added a husband/wife, careers, children and property, etc. not everything is so similar anymore. It's time to move on. We all try to hold on to these friendships as though they still exist and then wonder why your BFF is all of a sudden canceling your bi-weekly woo fest at the local bar for date night with her hubby. Just because you marched next to someone a few years does not mean you are obligated to do anything, and that includes stopping at the mall to exchange pleasantries. What I Wish I Knew: I wish someone told me to severe those ties earlier than I did and find new people who have the same interests I do. Now that I have a core group of people with similar interests in my life, it has become much happier and fufilling.

6) The Internet - It's amazing and evil and should be taken seriously. As a teen, you post whatever you want on Facebook without thinking about it. As an adult, you can lose your job, your money and even your life if you are not careful! You have to be even more careful about what personal information you talk about or put into websites. Things like credit card numbers, social security numbers, addresses, etc. are all very personal information that if the wrong people know, they can ruin your life. The internet is also a great source for information, but only if the source is correct. Looking up when your favorite movie is playing at the theatres won't effect you much if it's wrong but basing a college paper on a random website or investing money in a company that someone thinks is a good investment can cost you your future. What I Wish I Knew: Everything you post is just another chance for something bad to happen because of it. No one truly cares about anything you post. Even your best friend sees it as something to talk about for a brief few seconds but the internet is completely unforgiving and that information will forever be there to research and bring up in the future. Most things are worth saving for in-person conversation instead of being forever written online.

There are a lot of life lessons to be learned so listen to those who may know a little more about something than you and at least take it into consideration. Most of everything we regret is the same things we didn't want to listen to when we were younger. As crtazy and dumb as these lesson may sound now, they are lessons because they are true. Keep that in mind when people talk about the future because even though you are not there yet, many more people have been there and can share with you a lot of great knowledge.

[lifeaccordingtoadam-blog]

Life Before the Internet Degeneration

   Most people who frequent this site and other related sites don't ever think about them not existing. It's always been a part of their lives and probably always will be. Even as I sit here and use such a median, I will always remember the golden days of human interaction.

   I grew up in the late 90's and early 2000's where the only internet interaction came from email and AOL CD's. Yes, it did exist but just like 3D TVs, not many had it and it wasn't by far a means of communication. Even texting was a new thing that you had to pay per text so people didn't even use that. I know, I sound like an old man but honestly, this was only about 10 years ago and everyone reading this also lived through it as well, you just don't remember. What you also don't remember is a world with less a-holes, less drama, less bad talking, entertaining nights with friends and a world away from a keyboard. People love when I tell the crazy stories I have and wish they had the same. Honestly, the only reason I have such crazy stories is cause they happened beyond a computer screen.

   I've come up with a list of some differences between 2012 and 2002. This is what happened to society in only a decade:

In 2002, To tell someone what happened to you that day, you had to call them or knock on their door. It required you to see them and tell a story. You can see their emotions, they can see yours and you made a connection. A lot of times you just sat and talked for hours about nothing because your friendship with those people were far beyond a few cool things that happened that day. In 2012, You just post an update and tag them along with half your friends list. You only know what others post about themselves, you learn about everyone on your friends list within 10 minutes of reading your news feed and then wonder why when you actually do hang out you're sooo bored that you then result to the internet yet again for entertainment. In 2002, When you took a picture, it actually meant something! Only high end phones had, at most, crappy cameras and digital cameras cost over 200 bucks at their cheapest. So pictures were real, not posed. They were 1 in a million, not a million for 1. They were of good times and memories, not the same meaningless mirror pic in a different outfit or in a bathroom of a Wal-Mart. In 2012, People takes pics of everything and anything. For some reason, people feel that every moment of their life is worthy of documentation. Where an album on Facebook is 100+ pictures of the same thing taken within a 15 minute span on a webcam. In 2002, You listened to a whole CD cause there was no point in only hearing the same 2 songs and then having to change the CD. You got to know the artist for everything they created thus building a love for their music beyond a single track. You also only had a few CD's cause they cost $15 a piece so you really got to know and appreciate the music. The artists knew this thus needed talent to make it in the industry. In 2012, You download just your favorite songs and have an Ipod filled with enough music for 1000 CD's that you got for free. You don't listen to other songs cause you think they suck, you skip to only what you feel like listening to and you say you love bands when really you love a few songs and the image that comes with posting about how much you love them. Your appreciation for music is bleak at best and that is why music these days lacks any sort of talent.

In 2002, You had to know things! Unless you had an encyclopedia (yeah, never heard of those have ya?) or actually had in person what you wanted to talk about, you just had to know it. You had to explain with only the details you remember and in a fashion that they could understand. In 2012, You just use Wikipedia, YouTube, Facebook and millions of other sites to act like you know something. You can see a video ONE TIME and just send it or post it as though you know about it. You can say you know about nuclear fission because you can link someone to a webpage. But the sad reality is you know nothing and never will because the internet now has replaced brain cells. In 2002, People were interested in what you had to say. When you talked about your favorite music, they listened. When you brought over a movie, they watched it. When you talked about your boring day, they actually were interested. When you told them something, they probably never heard of it so it was interesting. In 2012, Everyone knows everything. Something gets posted on Facebook and it spreads like wildfire. No one cares about what music you like, they just see it as a chance to show you what THEY like. When you find a fun video on YouTube, no one cares cause they've seen it or they know of 50 just like it. When you talk, you're boring cause every idiot with a laptop has a blog on YouTube.    I can keep going but I hope you've got my point. Every wonder why isn't so fun anymore? Or why you're always bored? Or why every time you hang out with people you can never figure out what to do or what to talk about? Or why you hit the skip track button longer than you actually listen to a song (or for most, only half a song before hitting it again)? Let me tell you why... it's cause of the internet. Those problems didn't exist 10 years ago. It's not cause we've evolved as a species, that takes thousands of years for even a slight change. It's not cause our minds think differently. It's not cause of anything but the internet. If you don't believe me, try this: 1) Delete all your sites (i.e. Facebook, Tumblr, MySpace, etc). 2) Don't answer or send any text messages. 3) Only use the internet for emails and school work (if applicable of course). 4) Only use your cell phone for calls, nothing more.    Do those 4 steps and see how much better your life becomes. You may think i'm crazy but trust me, you'll build better relationships with your friends, your quality of life will better cause you're not sitting down all day, you have to actually buy or obtain music and videos so you'll gain a new respect for what you have, you'll always have interesting things to talk about with people, everything you hear will be new to you so you'll always have interesting things to learn and so on. Do it for 2 weeks, a month, a year, whatever you can and just see how great life can really be!

[lifeaccordingtoadam-blog]

Mr. Bean is da man!

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What happened to Facebook?!?

Facebook started out as a nice and relaxed networking website with indistinguishable profiles and minimal personalization options. If you ask anyone who switched to Facebook from MySpace when it was created, they will tell you that they were influenced by those basic qualities.  As you probably already know, these qualities are destitute now and what once was an amazing networking site has become an atrocity that now aproximates MySpace. The only difference I can find between the two is on MySpace you can change your background and add HTML to your page but all that does is anger everyone when it takes an hour to load. Sadly, that is the last reason I can give you for chosing Facebook over MySpace. Anyways, Facebook did exactly what every other company in existance has done... sell out. The question of the decade, "How can I make more money?" has notably influenced FB in almost every aspect of the site. Here's what happened: -FB put ads on the right side of the page, but that's normal for every site now-a-days. -Then FB allowed games. These games were always free and never asked for more than your participation.  That was short-lived of course and now nearly 90% of games ask you to spend U.S. currency to purchase some aspect of the game. -You had to be 18 or older to have a Facebook when it first came out. Anymore, it has become a cornucopia of adolescent vacation albums for all local pedofiles and creepers alike. -There was a point where you could only post a 151 character long status. Now you can post any mindless, ficticous glorification of self grander and mind-numbing garbage in every format known to your computer. -One word for ya: SPAM. Maybe it was inevitable?  Maybe it was caused by our constant need for attention and self documentation? Maybe it was greedy Socialistic business ethics? Whatever the reason, Facebook has slowly made its way down the road to the Dark Side and it's only a matter of time before it too becomes an HTTP ghost town like its predecessors. Do you think Tumblr will fall to this evil? Let's hope the force is strong with this one.