lifeinfreeverse

[lifeinfreeverse]

There’s poetry in the mundane.

[lifeinfreeverse]

Not sure why the perfume bottle has a cameo, but otherwise hot AF.

[lifeinfreeverse]

Still is.

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[lifeinfreeverse]

“One of these days, someone’s gonna hug you so hard that all the broken pieces stick back together” —found art in Buffalo, NY

[lifeinfreeverse]

Things You’d Rather Not Do

Fly coach

Watch MSNBC

Mow the lawn with a scissors

Drive behind a city bus

Microwave the cat until it reaches a minimum internal temperature of 165 degrees Fahrenheit

Me

[lifeinfreeverse]

Sex-Starved In The City

I am going crazy.

Can’t stop thinking about sex!

And the husband, Ben, is away in Asia for 3 weeks. Not that it would make a difference if he were home. He’d just say no—like every other time I’ve come on to him since shortly after we were married. So obviously, there’s no phone sex, no sexting, no relief.

Yes, after months and months and months of forced celibacy, I think I’ve finally cracked. I cannot get rid of this restlessness—no matter how much time I waste searching PornHub, no matter how many cold showers I take.

As if this wasn’t desperate enough, I decided to look up ‘Roman’—this online site where you can purchase Viagra discreetly. It apparently requires a Telehealth “doctor’s appointment” to get a prescription...and I am actually considering pretending to be a guy so I can get it for Ben. Like, I just recorded myself reading the grocery list in my best dude voice to see if I could pull it off.

Not that Ben couldn’t get it up if he wanted to. I just thought that if he gets it up—and it stays up—maybe he’d feel like doing something about it.

Then I saw under the drug description:

MEDICATION DOES NOT BOOST SEXUAL DESIRE.

...My heart slumped into my stomach. Even though I already knew this.

Then I thought about what might happen if I went through with it and got the prescription anyway, slipped a pill in his whiskey/coke, and caused him to go into anaphylactic shock. I can just see the headline:

“MAN INTUBATED AFTER SEX-STARVED WIFE DRUGS HIM WITH VIAGRA. STATES WIFE, ‘IT WAS EITHER THAT OR TINDER.’”

Funny, right?

I don’t mean funny as in ha ha funny, but funny as in Does this marriage taste funny to you?

Funny how quickly I do becomes I don’t know how much longer I can do this. Funny how two years later, I’m still doing it. ...And apparently writing a blog about it.

Dear husband who will never read this: Love me. Do me. Love me. You promised.

Time to hit the shower.

Swipe right if you need me.

[lifeinfreeverse]

Props for being forthright. Rincon, PR.