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lifeofababybuncher · 7 years
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Unacceptable Questions to Ask a Baby Buncher!
I honestly don’t think three kids is considered a big family. A lot of people have three children, maybe not back to back like us, but they still have three. Maybe that’s why we get so much criticism from people.
Only one other person I have talked too has gotten as much backlash as our family has. I feel more for her, because these so called friends, family, and peers talked her into getting her tubes tied, when she wasn’t 100% set on that. It’s crazy how much people’s opinions can impact other people’s lives. Guilt-tripping them into making decisions they wouldn’t have made at that time. It’s crazy that people think they should make decisions for others. Like telling them or myself, that we only need two or three children for example. Weston and I almost let others convince us what was best for our family and that one of us should get fixed because apparently after two you should never think twice about having more. Back in the day, it was common to have six, eight, and even twelve kids in some cases. For the wives to stay at home and cook and clean.. Now in today’s society it’s crazy and absurd to a majority.
Luckily, long story short, a good friend talked me out of listening to other people. I can’t thank her enough because she might not know how big that short talk impacted Weston’s and I’s lives. We wouldn’t have our little Brantley if we did what other’s thought was best.
Even to this day, people still try to tell us what’s best for US and OUR family. Even if they say it jokingly, to ever joke is some sort of truth behind it.. At least that’s how I feel.
I will never understand how it’s become acceptable to ask anybody the following questions listed below, joking or not. At first, none of these really bothered me, but after getting the same questions…by the same people….over….and over, it gets to you!
I love having what some may call a “big family” and I’m not ashamed of that. We planned to be baby bunchers, so all our children would be close. I love all three of my children. They’re all true blessings. As are all babies. So, if you have the nerve to ask any of the following trying to be funny, then be prepared for a smartass answer for some.
(Read with caution.)
You have a girl and a boy, so you’re done right?
Another one!? Usually followed by, “Already!?”
Can you afford another one? I personally believe to love my children, is not to buy them things. But to make sure they’re safe and healthy, loved, have clothes on their back, and have a roof over their head, and food on the table. That will always be what they need. Not me being able to or not able to buy them a bunch of possessions.
Jeeze, how many more are you going to have? We’re not going to stop until we have a redhead, that stays a redhead this time. I have a pretty handsome redheaded husband, so you know.. 😉😉 This really gets people.. - but in all honesty I can’t see the future, so you’ll just have to wait and see how much more blessed we might become. My hubby thinks it’s hilarious to throw random numbers out there to get a reaction out of people.
Your husband must make a lot of money? No, actually he makes a lot of sperm. Oops, did I just go there? You bet your ass I did. People can ask about our personal finances but I can’t say the word sperm? Please. We’re adults here.
Are you trying to outdo such and such? “That’s our plan!” (Which this question and the next I find extremely rude.)
Are you Catholic? I usually just say no and then stare at that person, thinking how rude. Just because I have more than two children that sends some message of what our religious beliefs must be? So what if we are or aren’t? Would that make some huge difference? I suppose, it has something to do with living in a small town and the fact that a lot of families who have multiple children back to back like us, also have a Catholic upbringing.
You must’ve forgotten to take your birth control? I’m not on BC and I don’t plan to be. I’m married and my husband and I agree that all babies are blessings and if it’s meant to be, it will be. We also agree, for personal beliefs, BC is not for us. If you think that’s your business too!
You know what causes that right? Didn’t I mention I have a pretty handsome husband. 😉
Do you know how much money kids are? Obviously, we have three. Is this even a question? The way we see it is, you can choose to spend your money on a variety of things. A fancy car and/or home, learning, traveling the world, an expensive pair of jeans or shoes, or partying every weekend. Not trying to shame on any of them, just stating some of the obvious things to spend your money on. We choose diapers-and lots of them, wipes, formula, and eventually dance classes and preschool. Money well spent in our eyes.
How do you plan on paying for their college? We plan on taking our favorite and sending them to college. (I’m obviously kidding.) One lady, I swear, almost fell over from this. Mortified.
Don’t you think you have enough children? Maybe three children isn’t the choice you made for your family, but that’s okay, because this isn’t your family. (A revised version of my favorite quote.)
Lots of other annoying questions: So you are going to get a minivan right? I have a tahoe for reason…
How old are you?…followed by, “Well how old are they? I can assure you, I’ve graduated, I’m married, they all have the same dad, and I’m above legal drinking age. I swear I need a shirt made that says this. #birthdaygoals
Did you mean to have them that close? Yes. (Technically just two of the three.)
Why would you want them so close together like that? There’s so many healthy benefits, but I usually say they’ll always have a best friend/playmate.
Favorite Quote: "Maybe another baby isn’t the choice you would have made for your family, but that’s okay, because it isn’t your family.” Mary Sauer
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lifeofababybuncher · 8 years
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Inspiring. Motivating. Brave. Bold. Momma's.
Being a mom is one of the toughest jobs in the world, yet so rewarding. Sometimes it’s hard to tackle, what some may look at as a simple task to accomplish, like the dishes. When you add one, two or even three children in the mix of it all, accomplishing such a “simple” task can seem like an eternity or a lot to handle.
These last few months I’ve felt so inspired by some of my peers. Three, which are moms. Moms from my high school class. They’ve inspired me in so many ways and don’t get enough credit for all their hard work! So thank you for being such an inspiration, to not only me, but for other moms and even children. Your children. My children. Single moms, married moms, and expecting moms. Girls thinking about doing something and looking at you and then saying, “if they can do it with a child/children so can I!” (I guess that could be offensive for some but that’s not my intentions!)
Go you! Seriously…. GO YOU!! I believe moms often forget what they deserve, or take credit for their hard work, or fail to let themselves appreciate all their hard work! In today’s society, more and more is expected from moms. Even more so the single moms out there really doing it all! Kudos to all of you!
There’s judgment everywhere, from everyone. Especially the ones not living in your shoes! Not living in the present day circumstances. Things are constantly changing. Yet, it feels like there’s negativity everywhere! So this is just a little appreciation post to three momma’s that have been inspiring me the last few months to finally do something with myself. Take charge with my life. To be like them and inspire others.
***Please respect what’s shared on this post. These three have generously allowed me to talk about them and a little part of their stories.
Momma one: Momma one: We relate so much. Our souls just speak to each other! 😂 Maybe it’s the three kids so close together bond? She got pregnant with her first when we were sophomores in high school, dealing with a lot she ended up dropping out. You may be wondering why I’d even mention her dropping out. Like it’s a horrible thing that people should be so ashamed of or embarrassed by. Despite the odds she didn’t just call it quits. She ended up getting her GED later, Go Momma! Then became a CNA. Fast-forward, now she has three beautiful babies, watches two to four children during the week on top of hers, and has a job Thursday through Sunday, where she works 42 hours! Then two other full-time jobs: A husband- because let’s admit it. We all know how much work those can be…or is it just mine that leaves this and that here and there? 😂 A Momma- you think cooking for, picking up after, changing all the diapers in a day, all the baths, games, sicknesses, and everything else from the time they wake up to the time they shut their eyes (which it doesn’t really end there) is hard with one, imagine having three.
Momma two: Momma #2. We’ve know each other what seems like forever. She got pregnant our senior year. Even with all the drama and difficulties thrown her way… I can only imagine being thrown her way with being pregnant in high school… She came to school every single day and graduated ON TIME with our class. Then if that’s not an accomplishment enough, STILL followed all her dreams after high school! She went to NIC, where she was a full time student, studying nursing. Later, graduating and becoming a LPN (Licensed Practical Nurse) and scoring her dream job at CDA Pediatrics!
Momma three: I go way back with Momma #3. All the way back to fourteenth street and playing Bratz after school. Up until very recently she has had a full-time job, been a full-time (single) mom, and is currently a full-time student. Have I mentioned she lives a million miles away from a big portion of her friends and family and support system.
Life isn’t always peachy. They’ve all had their trials, but are accomplishing so much. I didn’t want to sit here and talk about all the personal bad things or hard things they may have went through because that’s for them to share with who they wish. BUT really just think of all the things that aren’t easy to accomplish in a day and then look at them. Truly doing it all. All sorts of different things and succeeding at it. Whether it’s working, going to school, Mommin’, or sometimes all three at once. Regardless of if they’re married or this or that. It’s really not easy accomplishing goals you set for yourself. How many people do you think really achieve their dreams or even a “simple” New Year’s resolution? Or give up halfway through the year or task? I know a lot. I’m personally guilty of it. But when you can see other people doing just what they are setting out to do in a day, it is without a doubt incredible. Three strong, beautiful ladies and most importantly Mama’s! Despite the “odds” are making looking like an “exception” look so achievable!
These three along with several other Momma’s are so Inspiring. Motivating. Brave. Bold.
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lifeofababybuncher · 8 years
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"You have too many children to give them what they need."
"You have too many children to give them what they need." Which is an entirely false statement. My children do not need more things. Things do not better children. Is this statement more of a concern that all my children will not get cars when they get their license? Is it more of a concern that, heaven forbid, we won't be paying for their college? Maybe it's probably that vacation people say we "won't be able to go on every Spring Break." I once read, "to love my children is not to buy them things." Somehow in today's world our love is measured by all the things we buy our children. Electronics- cellphones, iPads, TVs. Cars, clothes, free college, other possessions, I could go on and on. My children's successes in life, I can assure you, will not be because of all the toys they had or those expensive pair of jeans they thought they "needed." Things don't make a home. Things won't show my children at the end of the day my unconditional love I have for them. I don't need to spend money on my children to show them they are loved or how successful they can be. I refuse to have my children grow up with a sense of entitlement. Thinking that they'll get everything they want and that everything will always go the way they want. My children will know we live in a world where not everything is always peachy and that's okay. That sometimes you have to work really hard to get things you want and that hard work usually pays off. Keyword being usually not always. Having "too many" children is exactly what we needed for our lives. It's bettered us, which will better our children's lives. It allows us to give them exactly what they need and not everything they want. To teach them valuable life lessons that make their character better, at least that's what every parent hopes for, right? 😂 So whether you have one or a dozen children. They need your time, your hugs, and unconditional love. For you to laugh with them, to play with them, to read to them, to teach them, to discipline them when needed, for you to share wisdom, for you to emotionally comfort them on bad days and listen to them, to protect them from danger and make them feel safe, to put a roof over their head, food on the table and clothes on their back. Necessities. Not materialistic things. At the end of the day, our bank account balance or what type of car I drive will not matter. My kids being safe and healthy, having clothes on their back, and having a roof over their head, and food on the table will always be what they need and our first priority. *let me also state that if you do buy your kids a lot of things they want or are paying for all their college or cars etc.... I truly think that's awesome too! I know some kids are very grateful and do appreciate the things their parents are able to do for them! I just wanted to remind several people who try to make families feel guilty for sometimes only being able to give the necessities, that it's not the end of the world. It's okay! 😉
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lifeofababybuncher · 8 years
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Unacceptable Questions to Ask a Baby Buncher!
I honestly don't think three kids is considered a big family. A lot of people have three children, maybe not back to back like us, but they still have three. Maybe that's why we get so much criticism from people. Only one other person I have talked too has gotten as much backlash as our family has. I feel more for her, because these so called friends, family, and peers talked her into getting her tubes tied, when she wasn't 100% set on that. It's crazy how much people's opinions can impact other people's lives. Guilt-tripping them into making decisions they wouldn't have made at that time. It's crazy that people think they should make decisions for others. Like telling them or myself, that we only need two or three children for example. Weston and I almost let others convince us what was best for our family and that one of us should get fixed because apparently after two you should never think twice about having more. Back in the day, it was common to have six, eight, and even twelve kids in some cases. For the wives to stay at home and cook and clean.. Now in today's society it's crazy and absurd to a majority. Luckily, long story short, a good friend talked me out of listening to other people. I can't thank her enough because she might not know how big that short talk impacted Weston's and I's lives. We wouldn't have our little Brantley if we did what other's thought was best. Even to this day, people still try to tell us what's best for US and OUR family. Even if they say it jokingly, to ever joke is some sort of truth behind it.. At least that's how I feel. I will never understand how it's become acceptable to ask anybody the following questions listed below, joking or not. At first, none of these really bothered me, but after getting the same questions...by the same people....over....and over, it gets to you! I love having what some may call a "big family" and I'm not ashamed of that. We planned to be baby bunchers, so all our children would be close. I love all three of my children. They're all true blessings. As are all babies. So, if you have the nerve to ask any of the following trying to be funny, then be prepared for a smartass answer for some. (Read with caution.) You have a girl and a boy, so you're done right? Another one!? Usually followed by, "Already!?" Can you afford another one? I personally believe to love my children, is not to buy them things. But to make sure they're safe and healthy, loved, have clothes on their back, and have a roof over their head, and food on the table. That will always be what they need. Not me being able to or not able to buy them a bunch of possessions. Jeeze, how many more are you going to have? We're not going to stop until we have a redhead, that stays a redhead this time. I have a pretty handsome redheaded husband, so you know.. 😉😉 This really gets people.. - but in all honesty I can't see the future, so you'll just have to wait and see how much more blessed we might become. My hubby thinks it's hilarious to throw random numbers out there to get a reaction out of people. Your husband must make a lot of money? No, actually he makes a lot of sperm. Oops, did I just go there? You bet your ass I did. People can ask about our personal finances but I can't say the word sperm? Please. We're adults here. Are you trying to outdo such and such? "That's our plan!" (Which this question and the next I find extremely rude.) Are you Catholic? I usually just say no and then stare at that person, thinking how rude. Just because I have more than two children that sends some message of what our religious beliefs must be? So what if we are or aren't? Would that make some huge difference? I suppose, it has something to do with living in a small town and the fact that a lot of families who have multiple children back to back like us, also have a Catholic upbringing. You must've forgotten to take your birth control? I'm not on BC and I don't plan to be. I'm married and my husband and I agree that all babies are blessings and if it's meant to be, it will be. We also agree, for personal beliefs, BC is not for us. If you think that's your business too! You know what causes that right? Didn't I mention I have a pretty handsome husband. 😉 Do you know how much money kids are? Obviously, we have three. Is this even a question? The way we see it is, you can choose to spend your money on a variety of things. A fancy car and/or home, learning, traveling the world, an expensive pair of jeans or shoes, or partying every weekend. Not trying to shame on any of them, just stating some of the obvious things to spend your money on. We choose diapers-and lots of them, wipes, formula, and eventually dance classes and preschool. Money well spent in our eyes. How do you plan on paying for their college? We plan on taking our favorite and sending them to college. (I'm obviously kidding.) One lady, I swear, almost fell over from this. Mortified. Don't you think you have enough children? Maybe three children isn't the choice you made for your family, but that's okay, because this isn't your family. (A revised version of my favorite quote.) Lots of other annoying questions: So you are going to get a minivan right? I have a tahoe for reason... How old are you?...followed by, "Well how old are they? I can assure you, I've graduated, I'm married, they all have the same dad, and I'm above legal drinking age. I swear I need a shirt made that says this. #birthdaygoals Did you mean to have them that close? Yes. (Technically just two of the three.) Why would you want them so close together like that? There's so many healthy benefits, but I usually say they'll always have a best friend/playmate. Favorite Quote: "Maybe another baby isn't the choice you would have made for your family, but that's okay, because it isn't your family." Mary Sauer
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lifeofababybuncher · 8 years
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"Mommed out."
Things aren’t always together.
Far from “perfect.”
Sometimes I’m tired. Sometimes I’m angry. Sometimes I’m hungry. Sometimes I’m annoyed that there is a never ending clean laundry pile on the folding shelf in the bathroom.. At least they’re clean, right? 😂
I’m often overwhelmed. Tired. Worn-out. “Mommed out.” Embarrassed that my house isn’t spotless all the time.
Some days are long but I remind myself the years will be so short. That I’ll never get this day back. The day that one kid tried to shut her brother in her dresser drawer, the days that my son’s favorite words were, “No Mom!” The day my oldest was sharing her candy necklace with her, one day shy of being 3 months old, brother-literally almost had a heartache…not kidding!
Some days I ask myself if I was too mean. Did I yell too much?
I know I’ll never get the nights back where my little Avery crawls into my bed and wants to snuggle me in the middle of the night. I know she won’t be there forever and that one night she’ll be just like Gunner and like her own bed all night too.
The mornings Gunner wakes up before his sister and gets to snuggle me all to himself or the mornings he sleeps in and Avery is awake and hears him and runs to him saying, “Mommy! Mommy! Gunny is awake!! Hi Gunny!” Melts my heart.
The days where Avery and Gunner fight over giving Brantley attention. The days where I’ve told them opten million times to stay off this or out of that and they just look at me and do it five seconds later.
I just want to enjoy today and soak it all up.
Because I know it’ll be over and onto a new Mom Chapter. So many things to look forward too but they seem like they’re already coming to fast.
The good. The bad. The ugly. The unpredictable life of having three under three.
But I’m always grateful and blessed. This adventure has been worth every minute. The good, the bad, the ugly, the unpredictable life of having three under three.
Don’t ever take any moments for granted. ❤
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