lifesucksasslol

[lifesucksasslol]

i am going to spend the rest of my life atoning for the way i've been because of you. the things i've said and they ways i've acted and the areas i've failed in because you crushed me down too much to do my best. i will never ever ever forgive you because i could have excused everything done to me but as soon as it affected others i became irredeemable and so did you

[lifesucksasslol]

i know its the same thing every toxic person and even abuser says and i hate it but it really is true that no one will ever love you the way i do lmao

[lifesucksasslol]

my range of emotions go from “it’s scary how much i feel” to “it’s scary how much i don’t feel”

[lifesucksasslol]

not to get all sad for no reason but something nobody tells you about growing up is that a part of you is just a little girl who is yelling ‘please like me please love me please tell me i am good’ at everyone you meet and most of your day is just trying to ignore her

[lifesucksasslol]

oh boy i wish someone would notice my cries for help! [someone actually notices] noooo i'm fine don't worry about me

[lifesucksasslol]

The reason it is hard to love yourself is because you cannot walk away from yourself. You have to sit within your skin through every painful emotion, every second of disgust and still find pieces of yourself to love through the wreckage. This is why loving yourself is an act of revolution. It is telling yourself you deserve love even in the places you do not think are worthy of love.

- Nikita Gill, Excerpt

[lifesucksasslol]

kindness? what kindness? how?

venetta octavia “burning” // benjamin alire sáenz “aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe” // the mountain goats “sept 15 1983” // @twinnedpeaks “from the peel” // “whisper of the heart” dir. yoshifumi kondō // mccafferty “alligator skin boots” // mary oliver “dogfish” // jaymes young “i’ll be good” // gillian flynn “sharp objects” // stephen universe “love like you” // julian k. jarboe “everyone on the moon is essential personnel” // cassandra troyan “kill manual”

[lifesucksasslol]

 Andrea Gibson, You Better Be Lightning

[lifesucksasslol]

absolute devotion

[lifesucksasslol]

the thing about living a life centered on bending over backwards to avert every possible criticism and complaint is that it doesnt actually prime you to receive genuine complaints with the grace they deserve. no matter how good or justified a place it comes from part of me always goes on the defensive and starts screaming about how unappreciative and ungrateful it is of the effort i take and the knots i twist myself into 24/7 for other peoples sake. its pretty fucked up