likerealpeopledo-on-ao3

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

On This Day in Schitt's Creek: August 5

2019

Before, During, and After [patrick & stevie, T, 8,068] by @kingcatt

3 moments from Stevie and Patrick's friendship

Dear Jurisprudence [david/patrick, M, 2,518] by @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3

They’ve never talked about Ray this much in bed before. David doesn’t think he likes it.

Game Night [david/patrick, T, 7,880] by orphan_account

David throws a chill game night and deeply regrets it. Or, a "timeline is slightly out of order" AU.

Over/Under [david/patrick, E, 4,974] by @thedidipickles

Keeping his voice soft, Patrick spoke at David’s ear. “Hey, David?” “Mm?” “Did you change the way the toilet paper is facing?” *** Patrick discovers that David has deep feelings about which way the toilet paper goes, and challenges him to a bet.

Patience is a Virtue (But it's Not Always Easy) [david/patrick, E, 736] by @stargatewars

**Set between Dead Guy in Room 4 and Pregnancy Test**David is supportive and understanding of Patrick's request to 'go slow' but some things he can't ignore.

waking up at sundown [stevie/alexis, E, 4,007] by imbrokelyn99

Stevie wants Alexis and she finally makes a move.

What Love Should Be Like [david/patrick, T, 3,815] by @unfolded73

The morning after the events of "Meet the Parents."

2020

Conversation [david/patrick, G, 1,505] by @mostlyinthemorning

Two people meet in a train station and go on a date. A slight AU told through conversations.

Creative Freedom [david/patrick, G, 1,076] by @delilah-mcmuffin

Patrick frowned and brought his hands up to cradle David’s jaw, thumbs grazing over his cheekbones. “It doesn’t sound like it's okay, David,” he said softly. David let out a quiet, keening noise. “You can tell me, you know. It’s okay to tell me when you don’t like something I’ve done, David.”

Home Is Where the Heart Is [david/patrick, T, 9,234] by @deenerann

David and Patrick's cottage seems to have picked up an extra tenant.

if a tree falls into a creek and no one is around to hear it, does it still screech like a pterodactyl? [david/patrick, G, 415] by the_hodag

Patrick falls into a creek. David tries not to laugh as he helps him out.

Never Let Me Go? [david/patrick, G, 1,076] by @frizzlenox

The first time Patrick and David hold hands in public. As told from each man's perspective.

New Life [david/patrick, G, 2,154] by therapychicken

Arriving back at Patrick's after the open mic night, David is puttering around Patrick's room when he sees a list- and discovers the truth about Patrick's song choice.

Please Pick Me [david/patrick, G, 3,282] by @agoodpersonrose

Unable to handle pining for Patrick, David comes up with a plan of self-preservation. Part one? It's time to find someone else for Patrick to date.

the night before, the day of, and the morning after [david/patrick, E, 3,811] by @cheesecurdsgravyandfries

A series of vignettes of wedding traditions that we didn't see, ranging in rating from E for Explicit to G for General, but definitely erring on the side of E (Hello, have we met? this earns its E within the first 40 words). Chapter 1 - The night before (E)Chapter 2 - Behind the curtain (G)Chapter 3 - Speeches (G)Chapter 4 - Cake (G)Chapter 5 - Garter (M)Chapter 6 - First dance (G)Chapter 7 - After the party (G)Chapter 8 - Consummation (E)

This Wasn't Supposed To Be A Meet-Cute [david/patrick, T, 705] by px_papercrown

Patrick sees David and is fond almost instantly, the first of a few signs that this is about to be an atypical incorporation meeting.

2021

baci [david/patrick, E, 9,126] by @rmd-writes

Looking across the room, David spots the whiteboard at the front of the kitchen that reads “Welcome to Italian Cooking for Couples”. “What the fuck?” David mutters quietly. Or so he thought. “You got caught out too, huh?” David looked over to see the only other person in the room who was alone walking in his direction, looking at him with a rueful smile. “I’m Patrick,” he said, holding his hand out for David. “Oh, hi,” David said, looking at Patrick’s hand for a second before taking it. He has a firm handshake and when David looks him in the eyes he finds a pair of warm, whiskey coloured eyes looking back at him. “David.” “So, I’m guessing you also didn’t realise this was a couples class?” Patrick says, rubbing the back of his neck. OR David & Patrick meet when they each accidentally sign up for a couples cooking class … this is 5 times they don’t kiss and 1 time they do (and more).

hearts & parts [david/patrick, T, 2,462] by @5ambreakdown

“I think we made some very insightful discoveries today.” “Oh really? Like what?” “We’re all very horny and apparently much more attractive than we thought. That, or our standards are just very low.” “Speak for yourself,” Stevie mumbles. “I know I’m hot.” --- or, schitt’s creek, being the lovers’ paradise that it is, has a complicated tapestry of romantic entanglements — stevie, twyla, david, patrick, and alexis attempt to find out just how complicated it is

Keen and Bright [david/patrick, T, 3,560] by @thesleepyskipper

Patrick reclines with his back against the seat of his kayak, resting the paddle across his strong thighs as he lays his muscular forearms on top of it, ensuring he won’t lose the all-important piece of molded plastic that will allow him to get back to the safety of solid ground. He inhales deeply, taking in the sight of the trees lining the hills in the distance. It’s calm and quiet out here, just the sound of the waves lapping in the wind and the occasional bird out in the distance. He closes his eyes, breathes in again and smells nothing but clean, fresh water as the cool breeze off the lake whips across his face, refreshing him. Once he feels rested enough from the short break, he grips the double-ended paddle on either side and rolls it back and forth in his hands to mentally prepare himself to continue forward. He rolls it again a few more times and waits until he sees that the tip of the blade is facing up. He takes in another breath of fresh air as he sits still in the middle of the lake. The heft and weight of the paddle in his hands feels good. He really wants to get past the rocky point he can see ahead of him before turning back.

Share Your Address [david/patrick, T, 5,591] by @colourcodedbinders

David and Patrick’s evolving relationship, through a stranger’s eyes. OR 5 times Esthelle Janes runs into David and Patrick, and 1 time one of them finds his way to her.

The First Rule of Book Club [gen, T, 2,217] by @floosilver8

The First Rule of Book Club is...read the damn book! A dialogue-only look at how the Schitt Book Club goes.

want you in my (dressing) room [david/patrick, E, 3,332] by CoeurieDeux

David is a fabulously successful pop star. Patrick is his bodyguard. So they probably shouldn't be doing this.

2022

“Creams and jars and potions, oh my!” [gen, G, 641] by LennyM

Look, Ripper ran into Harkness in a (*cough*several) bars in Tiger Bay* in the 1970s, when Giles was post Eyghon, pre Watcher and Jack was hanging round the rift establishing Torchwood Cardiff and moping after the Doctor. I've had that idea in my head for YEARS! GISH forced me to imagine a third crossover point, from the 2010s. So Giles is tracking down dodgy potions, and ooh look, so's Jack. And in who's smartly appointed, well stocked store have those toxic potions ended up?

Lock it up [david/patrick, G, 3,021] by @lizzie-bennetdarcy

Marcy's attention is drawn by a flash out of the corner of her eye. She looks down to see Patrick's phone sitting on the counter. It's lit up with an email notification, but it's the lock screen photo that piques her curiosity in the second before the screen goes dark. It looks like a man, and definitely not Patrick - though he was never the type of person to keep a photo of himself as his lock screen. Marcy doesn't like to snoop, but she makes an impulse decision to press the lock button that will reilluminate the screen. What she finds is… surprising. Patrick goes home and Marcy learns some new information.

reciprocal [david & stevie, T, 3,283] by @fakingsincerity

David and Stevie take care of each other. (Six paired ficlets about reciprocal care.)

The Hunter and the Slayer [dean/cas, M, 243] by the_communist_unicorn

Gish 2022, Item #4: "Fanfic through the Ages": Write a special crossover fanfic of a character from a 1990s show, book, or video game and a character from a 2000s show, book, or game meeting in a different 2010s universe. Dean and Buffy meet in the town of Schitt's Creek.

We're Having a Heat Wave.... [david/patrick, E, 2,895] by DearBalladeer

It's the heat wave of Summer '22 and the boys' a/c is out. Hot and sweaty should be good things but it's crossed the line. That's where the "repair man" comes in to save the day.

2023

haunt all of my what ifs [david/patrick, E, 8,066] by @streetlampsunset

It can’t be as easy as a stranger drifting in his periphery. Patrick’s grown fond, sentimental. He’s been possessed by some other thing that can’t be love. That’s not what this is. Because that would be cruel. _ Patrick is in love with a man he might never see again. David doesn't plan on letting him go. - a Space Road Trip AU

touch me [david/patrick, T, 546] by @stereopticons

An incomplete list of the ways David and Patrick touched each other on their wedding night.

2024

destiny brought us to the creek [ted/alexis, g, 637] by artsyspikedhair

short little piece about Schitt's Creek, the creek itself specifically.

Don’t Worry, Bee Happy [david/patrick, G, 100] by @a-noble-dragon

Patrick thinks David’s simply the best bees knees!

Stats:

No fanworks for 2017 or 2018 2019: 7 fics/31,998 words 2020: 9 fics/23,258 words 2021: 6 fics/26,288 words 2022: 5 fics/10,083 words 2023: 2 fics/8,612 words 2024: 2 fics/737 words Total: 31 fics/100,976 words

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

in my mind palace, season 9 eddie nde goes like this: they’re on a call and something unchill happens — the details aren’t important, but it’s something that causes eddie and a civilian they’re rescuing to both be hurt. buck is closer to the civilian and goes immediately into first responder mode, putting pressure on their bleeding wound while waiting for parameddie to come do his thing. instead, eddie makes a pained sound that buck has never heard him make, and he looks up to see eddie is also bleeding badly (from his stomach, for maximum dramatic effect.) eddie collapses and buck automatically moves like he’s going to go to eddie when the civilian under his hands grunts and reminds him he’s on the job, his responsibility is keeping this person alive. but eddie is on the ground, hands on his stomach, putting as much pressure on the wound as he can but the angle is bad and he’s getting weaker and weaker. buck looks frantically between eddie and the civilian. between his duty, the one he was born to do, and the love of his life (which he’s just realized this very second) bleeding out five feet away.

he locks eyes with eddie, and eddie knows what he’s about to do. and he says, “buck. don’t you dare.” but unfortunately for him that’s about the time he starts to cough up blood, and buck closes his eyes real tight, then looks at the civilian and says, “i’m so sorry, k-keep pressure on this, i’m sorry, i’m sorry—” and races over to eddie, putting his hands over eddie’s on his stomach, both of them trying to staunch the blood but there’s so much. and eddie’s so mad he’s literally spitting, cussing buck out between gasps and coughing fits, telling buck to leave him, telling buck he’ll be fine, telling buck if he doesn’t go do his job right now he’ll never speak to him again. and buck snaps, “i am doing my job eddie, stop talking and focus on breathing.” eddie doesn’t listen and keeps trying to push him away, but buck ignores him and he doesn’t even feel bad, not right now at least, not when eddie is this pale. buck starts digging through eddie’s medical bag one handed, asking him what he needs for a field transfusion because even though he’s not a medic he knows eddie’s losing too much blood and they can’t afford to wait for help. but eddie’s just shaking his head and he’s fading, his eyes fluttering closed, and buck grabs eddie’s face and makes him open his eyes, getting blood all over his neck and jaw. and eddie does because it’s buck that’s asking him, buck that’s begging him to stay awake. and buck’s voice is hoarse when he says, “eddie, i-i’ve never done this before, i need you to talk me through this. please, don’t—don’t leave me. don’t make me do this alone.” and eddie’s still furious and he can barely keep his eyes open but he nods weakly, and bucks hands are shaking so badly as he pierces eddie’s skin with the needle, and then his own, but he manages with eddie’s soft instructions. eddie’s delirious from blood loss and without thinking says, “you’re doing so good, that’s it, good job baby,” which makes buck twitch so bad he almost rips the tube in half. but he recovers and then he’s watching his own blood flow into eddie, and it’s his blood that’s bringing color back to eddie’s face, flooding into eddie’s cheeks. they both stare at the dark red tube connecting them, completely silent but for their shared heavy breaths, until eddie smiles and catches buck’s eye. and he’s all red and beautiful when he says, “you’re makin’ me blush, you fucking idiot.” and buck laughs, all watery with tears in his eyes, and presses his lips to eddie’s forehead, just for a moment before he realizes what he’s doing. he tries to pull away but eddie grabs him by the neck with his bloody hand and pulls him close, pressing their foreheads together hard enough to hurt, and breathes, “thank you bud.”

(chim and hen show up just as eddie’s perking back up and stabilize the civilian. and through an unspoken agreement none of them tell bobby. not even the victim, who was moved from the category 5 yaoi event they just witnessed)

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

Six years since my v v first SC fic! WTF.

On This Day in Schitt's Creek: July 30

2019

calling out for somebody to hold tonight [david/patrick, G, 930] by ewdavids

Patrick decides to serenade David with his favorite band. That's it. That's the whole story.

Castle on the Hill [david/patrick, G, 1,516] by jumpfall

Normally,* Patrick is the calm one. * This does not apply when David is the one in peril.

Funny Meeting You Here [david/patrick, M, 4,512] by @aeliagioia

“Nice night,” he said to David without looking away from the Leafs game playing on one of the TVs over the bar. “Yeah it is,” David replied a little too quickly. They caught each other’s eye and laughed nervously. The other man held his hand out. “Patrick.” “David, hi.” They shook hands.

Go The Fuck to Sleep [david/patrick, M, 275] by Point_of_no_return

David has researched different children’s books ever since he met Patrick and discovered Patrick’s inability to fall asleep sometimes.In an effort to get Patrick to go the fuck to sleep so David can sleep too, David changes the words around a little bit in these stories to make it more fun to recite out loud.

like a train on the track [david/patrick, NR, 2,252] by @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3

Salvation is a table of folded sweaters six feet in front of him, a prismatic array of color and texture and natural fibers. OR Patrick thinks about clothes. But mostly, he panics.

Missed Communications [david/patrick, E, 3,818] by @well-schitt

Five times they didn't talk things through, and one time they tried to.

sloppy mouth [david/patrick, E, 9,235] by @thedidipickles

David knew, and loved profoundly, that Patrick needed to talk about things. Patrick needed to understand what David was feeling, needed to share his own thoughts and concerns and needs with David in return. No matter what the situation, Patrick needed to talk things through. And dear god, was it a gift. *** another update for a chapter 3!

Stevie & David & Patrick [david/patrick/stevie, E, 3,117] by unkindravens

“Do you ever miss having sex with women?” David and Stevie help Patrick explore this question.

The IKEA Test [david/patrick, T, 1,113] by @holmesapothecary

When it came time to furnish his new apartment, Patrick knew he was going to need some additional furniture to what he had in storage—namely a bed. He also knew that an extra set of hands were key. And that even with all his bluster, he respected and even envied David’s sense of taste and eye for décor in the store. So, dear god, Patrick was going to drag David Rose to IKEA—possibly kicking and screaming.

Wearing My Jacket, Voice Like an Angel [david/patrick, E, 2,393] by bigficenergy

Patrick forgets to bring a jacket on a cold evening at an event he and David are running. Conveniently, David has his leather one to lend.

Wine Redux [david & stevie, T, 2,651] by @kiranerys42

David and Stevie have another conversation about wine.

you've begun to feel like home [david/patrick, G, 1,249] by patrickbrewer

“Do you feel nauseous?” David asks, shaking out of Patrick’s grip to press his hand to his forehead. It’s warm, but not horribly so. He can handle this. “No, I was just going to get some toilet paper to use for tissues. You used the rest of the box up when we watched Titanic the other day.” “Okay, I’m sorry that the sight of Jack sinking into the treacherous depths of the Atlantic Ocean brought me to tears,” David replies defensively.

2020

A Marksman's Ability [david/patrick, T, 10,854] by @eponymiad

There’s a tree line twenty feet up the shore, and he drags himself there to get under the shade of a tree before the sun gets strong. Just before he passes out, he sees what looks like a building off in the distance, but before he can consider what it might be, he’s asleep. He sleeps so deeply, he never hears the screams. *Patrick, an accomplished hunter, heads off on an around-the-world trip in search of answers and excitement.He gets more than he bargained for.

Brewer-Rose Honeymoon (was (like a) slap) [david/patrick, M, 5,839, CW: violence, rape/noncon] by TriLyn

Changed name when this stopped being a one shot Patrick has just stumbled upon a graphic bit of David's past and isn't sure how to deal with it. Has he just ruined their marriage that isn't even a month old?May be triggering by referenced past possible non-con/dub-con. Also has some graphic revenge fantasies.

cooling to the touch [david/patrick, G, 250] by @enablelove

It's hot in Schitt's Creek.

I'll Be The Light To Guide You (Find Out What We're Made Of) [david & alexis, G, 1,200] by @streetlampsunset

“You caught me,” Alexis said, starting up at him with wide, blue eyes. He held her in his, shockingly steady, arms. His heart pounded against his chest. “I’ll always catch you,” David said emphatically. It was his job to be there when she needed him. “Promise?” Her voice was still a little shaky. "Promise,” he said without hesitation. David set her on her feet, smoothing his hands over her shoulders. “Ready to try again?” - Written as a stand alone

Taste the sparks on your tongue [david/patrick, E, 2,599] by @kiwiana-writes

David has been spoken to like this before, during sex, by people who meant what they were saying, and he hated every moment of it. But when it comes from Patrick, who doesn’t have a cruel bone in his body, who is polite and sweet and romantic to a fault…Who loves him…It’s, uh, really doing something for him.

Tenpin [david/patrick, T, 8,573] by OnMyShore

Schitt's Creek starts up its own bowling league, and it's only a matter of time before David gets pulled in.

This Will Be Our Year: A Second Epistolary Peek [david/patrick, T] by @meadowharvest4856

A non-chronological sampling of text messages from the second year after the finale. Sequel to This Will Be Our Year: An Epistolary Peek

Waiting on the Day [david/patrick, E, 22,311] by @noahreids

Creekside Brewing Company: Brewed by Brewers! (“Oh my god. Please don’t put that on Instagram.”) Canon divergence in which Patrick follows his cousins to Schitt’s Creek to help launch Creekside Brewing Co. But when he discovers that the neighbouring business is also set to open its doors soon, it will take him down a path he never expected. Or A story about changing your dreams, a beautiful boy, and a little bit of beer pong.

2021

Bean [david/patrick, T, 9,086] by @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3

David and Patrick find out that Stevie is in need of a kidney and end up learning more about themselves, each other, and the meaning of family.

Family Name [david & johnny, T, 1,899] by @wearpersisitencewell

Johnny considers which of his children's hands Rose Video should fall into. The journey does not go smoothly.

family time [patrick & alexis, G, 1,890] by @hullomoon

Little moments of Patrick spending time with his in-laws

Just For Today [david/patrick, M, 18,078] by eringiles

My name's David. And I'm an alcoholic.' David Rose realised he'd taken some wrong turns in life, hitting rock bottom only to realise that he wanted something more from life, so he checked himself into rehab. Rehab, it turned out, was nothing like the movies, and it was going to be a long twelve weeks. However, on his first day there a guy - Patrick he'd said his name was - who was also an alcoholic, had offered him a sympathetic smile and lift home after the session. An AU in which Patrick & David meet in Rehab.

2022

Open Wide [david & stevie, T, 2,053] by @tyfinn

David has a toothache and needs to go to the dentist.Dr. Patrick Brewer, DDS to the rescue.

ROM Com [david/patrick, T, 8,194] by @different-but-the-same

As if she’s reading his mind - and there have been times when David’s had the uncomfortable feeling that she can - Alexis leans forward and murmurs, “So if you’re sensing a vibe…maybe that means that his eye is on…someone else.” David stares at her. “He’s a paleontologist who wears straight-legged mid-range denim. He is not into me.” Alexis shrugs. “Well, then he’s really into dinosaurs, which seems a lot less likely to me.” During a trip to Toronto, David and Alexis visit the Royal Ontario Museum, where their heads are turned by a charming staff member.

Smut Leakage [david/patrick, E, 780] by Amanita_Fierce

David’s earbuds leak smut and Patrick tenderly trolls him for it.

2024

Purple Passion [david/patrick, T, 1,200] by @tyfinn

The theme for July's monthly color drabble challenge is PURPLE.

Stats:

No fanworks for 2017, 2018, or 2023 2019: 12 fics/33,061 words 2020: 8 fics/51,626 words 2021: 4 fics/30,953 words 2022: 3 fics/11,027 words 2024: 1 fic/1,200 words Total: 28 fics/127,867 words

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

This week, share a fic that you found unexpected or surprising. Maybe it’s a crack fic that really worked. Maybe it’s a trope or pairing you weren’t sure about but ended up really enjoying. Maybe it was a twist you didn’t see coming. Or maybe it’s the fic that helped you realize a kink you didn’t know you had! However you interpret unexpected or surprising, let’s share them!

After reading the tags for this fic, I do not know why I find it surprising at all that I’ve bookmarked and reread it 149 times in my SC fic reading career, but; I am nothing if not an enigma.

The tags in question: adoption, anxiety, therapy, baseball. The fic in question: The number one rule by cromarty.

Like! All of these things are up my personal and professional alleys! This doesn’t surprise me! But it’s the deftness of the writing and the visceral way I responded to this fic that surprised me the first time I read it way back in my nascent SC days and now, in the year of our dumpster fire 2025, I’m shocked that’s been literal years since I read it last.

If it wasn’t clear from the tags, David and Patrick decide to adopt and Patrick gets very Patrick about it. I love it! You should love it too.

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

emails suck. unless they are from ao3, then they are the best thing to ever happen to me

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

it's really embarrassing how much self control i have to exert when you put me in front of a tray of convenient and tender meat like if you put meatballs in front if me the fuckers are gone in milliseconds. same true of roadted brussels sprouts or basically anything that's a nice little dense and textured morsel. i am the hors that d'ouvres

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

Fic Rec Friday Rec Round Up

Celebrate Disability Pride Month by Reading Some Schitt's Creek Fic!

week 4: for July 18

@a-noble-dragon prompted us this week with

It’s disability pride month, so for this week’s Fic Rec Friday, I’d like to rec fics with disability and/or chronic illness representation. Does David have a therapy animal? Does Patrick use a mobility aid? Do the Schitt’s Creek residents use sign language, or other means of non-verbal communication? Do characters embrace their disability? Or is there a depiction of a realistic ongoing struggle? Perhaps someone suffers from chronic pain? Or regular migraines? Perhaps someone has an invisible disability?

And we found a few:

The Air That I Breathe by AWorldOfDreams / @a-noble-dragon

All Things Being Equal by Surreal / @surreal666

By the Seashore by @mammameesh

Full of Surprises by coffee_and_glitter / @fictasticvoyage

Glasses by @68henley

He Sees You (For All That You Are) by @agoodpersonrose

Some Days are Diamonds by @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3 and its podfic by @trueillusion82

Some things I still can't tell you by @demora00

Terrified But the Truth is This by ryry_peaches / @froggierboy

To Find a Home by Rose_Bud_Boy

the warmth of his loving hands by AWorldOfDreams / @a-noble-dragon

Weep Not For The Memories by lucianowriter / @madsworld15

Who needs sleep by @demora00

But we think there should be more, so if you've been sitting on an idea, consider this your prompt.

Thank you for participating. Have a good week!

As usual, please let me know if I missed any. Both tumblr and I are inconsistent and imperfect.

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

When I found out this week's theme was hurt/comfort, one fic immediately came to mind.

In @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3's Fyre Festival-inspired fic, Rose from the Ashes, David and Patrick find themselves stranded on a literal deserted island (complete with - gasp! - Only One Cave), and they must work together to stay alive.

First of all, Peeps's work always makes me laugh to the point of tears while simultaneously muttering to myself, "fuck, that's a good joke. I wish I'd thought of it!" But also, the way David and Patrick share the burden of caring for each other through their fight for survival is handled so beautifully in this one. The stakes felt realistically high but never so high as to make the story anything less than a joy to read.

Honestly? The list of things Patrick says while doped up on the good pain meds is worth the price of admission alone.

Check it out for yourself!

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

Fic Rec Friday

Hey @carolrain Thanks for the tag!

The theme this week is hurt/comfort and I've got two that buckle my knees and make me weepy every time.

I swallow the sound and it swallows me whole by @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3

Patrick suffers a stroke while away at a conference. The writing captures the intensity of Patrick's helplessness and isolation, of David's fear and desperation, of their love. Whoosh, it'll knock you breathless.

Don't Whump with my Heart by @delilah-mcmuffin

Patrick falls while on "the hike" The Hike, y'all. You know the one. Again, the writing here is so immediate and galvanizing, you are David in that moment, screaming himself hoarse seeking help for Patrick.

Does anyone else want to recommend a little hurt/comfort to help us all survive the summer? (If it's Saturday already, don't be shy about jumping in—not too late.) No pressure tagging @mostlyinthemorning @stereopticons @wearpersistencewell @olinsghost @obsessedwithdavrick @blackandwhiteandrose @missgeevious @characterassassination-at-9am

@tyfinn @dytzyone @hippolotamus @butjustwithalittlebaby

and anyone who wants to participate, of course. Please use the banner if you do, and tag it fic rec friday.

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

Fic Rec Friday

Thanks for the tag @mammameesh @a-noble-dragon @queenmabcreates and @stargazer56 💕

For this Fic Rec Friday, let’s all share our favorite hurt/comfort fics. If you are ever having a bad day I find reading a lovely hurt/comfort fic to be a great balm.

I have chosen one that really stuck with me. A story about love and support and found family. Bean by @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3 -

As written in the summary:

David and Patrick find out that Stevie is in need of a kidney and end up learning more about themselves, each other, and the meaning of family.

Enjoy!

NP tagging @mostlyinthemorning @wearpersistencewell @blackandwhiteandrose and anyone who wants to share their favorite hurt/comfort fic 🙂

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

Armin Blasbichler

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

my love, he keeps me warm. wips and more only on patreon

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

buck has jee-yun for the day and eddie tags along bc he's feeling wistful for when christopher was that age, and inevitably they end up in a claire's accessories where jee demands one of these bad boys because she's started pre-school now and has a Best Friend

but then because 5 year olds are tyrants she demands that buck and eddie also need to get one and she stares at them until they put it on. and they're both like haha okay if the lady insists! ;) and they fight a little over who gets to be best and who is relegated to friend (you should be friend, buck tells eddie, purple looks good on you) and then they put on their necklaces and chuckle a little, while jee nods in approval, and for the rest of the day whenever they catch sight of their necklaces (hard to miss, very sparkly) they grin at each other

and then they take jee back home and life goes on and when buck's alarm goes off the next morning he knocks the necklace off his bedside table while grabbing for his phone, and he decides it'll be funny to wear it to work as he is best after all. when he gets to the station chim clocks it immediately, oh he says you two are adorable, and buck turns to see eddie in the changing room also with his half of the sparkly heart. they fistbump (obviously) and then fit the two halves of the heart together (obviously), which means leaning in really close as these necklaces were intended for children not big beefy firefighter necks, close enough that their faces end up a little smooshed together and buck says we uhh we might need longer chains and eddie shrugs and says I dunno I kinda like it and he pats buck's pendant where it sits in the hollow of his neck

Also bobby is there

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

On This Day in Schitt's Creek: June 14

2019

burning one hell of a something... [david/patrick, T, 8,881] by @startswithhope

Bad ventilation, burnt steak and an obnoxious fire alarm, all the ingredients needed for Patrick to meet David and spark a very different kind of flame. (this is pure flirty fluff with AU and canon interspersed, spread over 6 short chapters that I’ll be posting over consecutive days)

Give My All [david/patrick, E, 10,220] by @mickeysmyheart

It's David's birthday & his and Patrick's anniversary. Patrick plans a few surprises for David, wanting this to be a very relaxing day for them since there's been some stress planning the wedding, running the store, and finding a new place for them to live together. That doesn't mean David doesn't have a surprise of his own for Patrick.

2020

A private kind of happiness [david/patrick, E, 4,550 + art] by @kiwiana-writes @sparklesmagiclightlove

“We need to find a solution to this,” he grumbles as he leaves Patrick to tidy himself up while he deals with the interruption. Stevie is the interruption. But miraculously, suspiciously, annoyingly — she is also the solution.

All I Can Do Is Keep Breathing [david/patrick, T, 3,304] by @loveisallyouneed21

Two moments, one where Patrick has to deal with a traumatic memory and one where homophobia comes from someone outside of Schitt’s Creek.

All's Right With the World [david/patrick, E, 39,103] by PositivelyBedeviledSchitthead

Providing “behind-the-scenes” glimpses of Patrick’s and David’s life together post-Rachel, this work is mostly canon-compliant.

an old-fashioned man [david/patrick, G, 1,300] by the_hodag

Clint and David have a moment at Patrick’s “surprise” birthday party.

Fiona, Adele, Alanis [david/patrick, T, 3,064] by bigficenergy

Stevie, Patrick, and David walk into a bar. Karaoke and tipsy affection ensue.

Green-Eyed Monster [david/patrick, T, 2,416] by @agoodpersonrose

After missing his chance on David's birthday, Patrick deals with watching him get set-up on a date with somebody else.

Hop on the Purple Line [alexis/twyla, G, 2,024] by @kindofspecificstore

Alexis is preparing to leave Schitt's Creek, and Twyla can't bare to see her go (or tell her how she really feels)

Kissception [david/patrick, NR, 806] by MoreHuman

Patrick has figured out how to make David want it. It isn’t that hard, to be honest.

What’s Cookin’, Good Lookin’? [david/patrick, E, 1,435] by @delilah-mcmuffin

“In here!” David’s voice called out from the direction of the kitchen. Patrick frowned and braced himself. The thought of David alone in the kitchen all day was both terrifying and adorable. He frequently spent his days off cooking things for Patrick, deep diving on Pinterest for recipes he thought would make Patrick’s mouth water. And Patrick appreciated the thought, he really did. It was just that sometimes, after a day spent in the kitchen, all that David had to show for his efforts was the thought. And some kind of lumpy, burnt thing that was supposedly a pot roast or maybe banana bread.

you're stuck in my head, stuck on my heart, stuck on my body [david/patrick, G, 1,436] by scullymldrs

It’s probably a little ridiculous, considering that they have phones and Patrick could just text David these things. But David adores these little notes, these simple reminders of Patrick’s affection.

2021

Dress You Up [david/patrick, T, 3,200] by @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3

Patrick goes shopping for shirts. Feelings ensue. “So take me shopping then.” “Oh honey, I don’t know if we’ll survive that kind of test so early on in our relationship.” Patrick doesn’t know whether he should call attention to the relationship or the honey. He likes the sound of both. He already can’t stop tasting the shape of boyfriend in his mouth and it’s only been two days. He loves it. He loves it so much he’s volunteering to shop.

If I Could Know Within My Heart [david/patrick, T, 5,629] by MoreHuman

David remembers thirteen. Thirteen turned him into a different person, too, and he’s not just talking about the nose job. Thirteen made him hyper-aware of everyone staring at him and everyone he thought was staring at him and everyone who could potentially one day be staring at him. So he gave them all a reason to stare. Thirteen was the year fashion became his armor. He looks over at the contour palettes, glitter, and false eyelashes spread out on the table next to them. Maybe Jayson’s looking for his own armor.

You can fall [david/patrick, E, 96,896] by @wordthieve

Patrick's instinct is to leave, but he’s just noticed something about this guy. “I know you …” he says slowly, uncertainly.It’s hardly flattering, but the other guy chuckles. It’s a nice sound, Patrick thinks, cautiously. “Yeah,” says the guy, his grin sliding into a smirk. “I think you, uh, tried to flirt with me once.” And now Patrick recognises him. A million years ago, at a party he hadn’t thought twice about, before everything really took off, this guy stood in a kitchen, not unlike this one, wearing a shirt blazoned with a mouth and bloody fangs, teasing Patrick. OR Patrick Brewer has a LOT of baggage. He's absolutely not ready for a relationship. OR In which the author tries not to spoil anything, and in doing so fails completely at the summary.

2022

[Podfic] And sew it begins... [david/patrick, G, podfic] by @sweatersinthesummer

So what if David had mentioned a favorite black t-shirt that he’d lost in the move to Schitt’s Creek? He had waxed rhapsodic over lunch one day about how the sleeves were the perfect length, how it was just fitted enough and soft, so soft. Patrick listened, and thought maybe it was time to try sewing something new. (Read by the author)

Ain't no friend of mine [david/patrick, G, 2,027] by @lizzie-bennetdarcy

"Um, hi?" "Oh hey, sorry, I was looking for someone else. Must be the wrong apartment." David sat up, his full attention on the door. He knew that voice - despite their disastrous elevator encounter, his stomach still felt fluttery at hearing Blue Shirt outside his door. David and Patrick meet under less than ideal circumstances.

Everyday is Summer With You [david/patrick, E, 7,700] by @a-noble-dragon

A collection of one shot ficlets featuring David, Patrick, and with guest appearances from their friends. The picnic spot is perfect for the four of them. They sit huddled together on a rug next to the large lake. David savours the last bites of their lunch while the others chatter inanely. Alexis plays with the ribbons in her girlfriend’s hair, and Twyla weaves flowers together that she finds in the long meadow grass, placing colourful crowns onto Alexis and Patrick's bowed heads.

2023

can't buy me love [david/patrick, G, 252] by @enablelove

David has always lived his life as the provider - money, drugs, alcohol, you name it and people have flocked to David because they know he has whatever they might desire.

Pointy [david/patrick, T, 1,592] by @wearpersistencewell

Patrick is with Ken. So why can't he stop thinking about David?

Stats:

No fanworks for 2017, 2018, or 2024 2019: 2 fics/19,101 words 2020: 10 fanworks (9 fics, 1 fic/art combo)/59,438 words 2021: 3 fics/105,815 words 2022: 3 fanworks (2 fics, 1 podfic)/9,780 words 2023: 2 fics/1,844 words Total: 20 fanworks (18 fics, 1 podfic, 1 fic/art combo)/195,978 words

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

Work out what Alex has on the very top of his head. You may ask Alex 'yes' or 'no' questions, but Alex will only answer using his exciting new numbers system. Fastest wins.

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

Guys, my last SC fic was posted last year. Go read it! It was maybe the easiest fic I’ve ever written and the jokes wrote themselves. So much nudity!

…

Have you gone to read it yet?

On This Day in Schitt's Creek: June 6

2019

Damn Yankees [david/patrick, T, 3,710] by undersail2013

Prompt from user @ foggynelson : "A silly fic of David and Patrick meeting once while in high school and Patrick pining over David but not being able to do anything about it." Admittedly, the silliest part of this fic is Patrick's hair.

i Love You? [david/patrick, G, 668] by thisisfromawhileago

Patrick knows David has a hard time expressing emotions, especially emotions of love. I mean he’s only ever said it twice to his parents, once at a Mariah Carey concert and only a handful of times to Patrick.

i'm part of you indefinitely [david/patrick, G, 585] by @twylasands

david and patrick share an intimate moment during their wedding reception

2020

Keeping Your Eyes on the Wall [david/stevie, E, 2,365] by @floosilver8

The sexploits of Schitt's Creek.Canon compliant missing scene from S1E9, Stevie POV. (Title from Tina Turner's "Private Dancer")

moving in and moving on [david/patrick, T, 564] by @hullomoon

David has some thoughts about Patrick's apartment

Nothing As Exhilarating [david/patrick, E, 1,307] by bigficenergy

“Just admit you liked the movie.” Patrick has David pressed down along the couch in Ray’s living room, and is carrying on a discussion of the movie they just watched between kisses. David has really been enjoying that Patrick apparently wants to kiss him and wants to talk to him enough that they often combine the activities. And with Patrick on top of him like this, David has half a mind - and possibly half some other parts - to give in and tell him what he wants to hear.

The PC Term is 'Sartorially Challenged' [david/patrick, M, 873] by @midnightstreet

Really, David? You're going to comment on the length of Patrick's sleeves? People in glass houses, and all that. Set during The Wingman.

Ticket B13 [david/patrick, G, 232] by Lilibel

David, vu par Patrick.Episode 308.

You're about to be where nobody's been [david/patrick, E, 1,056] by @kiwiana-writes

The first time David comes on Patrick's face. That's it, that's the fic.

2021

A Thousand Days [david/patrick, T, 1,190] by @thesleepyskipper

When you’ve been together for 1000 days, it feels monumental. Like some sort of huge accomplishment. At least it feels that way to David, considering that this has gone on significantly longer than any other relationship he’s had before. He honestly can’t even believe that he’s counted. And sure, they’re now married, but there’s something special about hitting a THOUSAND days together. Which is why David isn’t all that impressed when Patrick suggests going to a sports bar to celebrate this milestone. Well, it wasn’t exactly for the distinct purpose of celebrating, but more to watch some important sportsball hockey thing.

as though you carry it in your body [david/patrick, T, 3,933] by @dinnfameron

Alexis is sick on the night of the Sunrise Bay premiere, and while everyone else heads out to the red carpet event, her brother decides to stay home and take care of her. Not that brother.

Chicken Soup [david/patrick, T, 20,398, CW: cancer] by @trueillusion82

David stood stunned as the man walked away, thankful he was already leaning against the wall because it kept from falling over as his knees threatened to give out. Was this guy serious? Who would joke about that? And why? He clutched the business card between his fingers and blinked, watching the shadow of the man round the corner onto the sidewalk, presumably going home after… what? Delivering a life-changing diagnosis after giving a blowjob in the back alley behind a gay club in rural Ontario? No, it had to be a joke. But what if it wasn’t? What if he was serious? What if David had… cancer? *** An adaptation of Queer as Folk's season four cancer arc using Schitt's Creek characters -- a.k.a. 43 pages of angst with a very happy ending.

cross your heart [david/patrick, T, 3,577] by @5ambreakdown

Patrick figured that, after breaking off his engagement seemingly out of nowhere to his girlfriend of more or less fifteen years, running away to a small town in rural Ontario, speaking to virtually no one for the better part of two years, only to announce yet another engagement to someone who was very much not Rachel, let alone a woman, some of the people in his family would be a bit apprehensive. Hesitant. He thought that, understandably, they maybe wouldn’t fully understand it, but he at least expected them to support him. He doesn’t need them to understand, but he would like them to have the smallest amount of faith in him. ---- or, the author really needs to stop projecting onto poor patrick brewer

don't rush into things [david/patrick, E, 1,875] by LFTPD

David had swallowed, his eyes locked onto Patrick’s as he slowly pulled away. He’d reached up to wipe off his mouth, and as Patrick’s brain slowly turned back online after the best orgasm of his life, his only thought had been dear god, I can’t wait to do that to him. Fast forward a few weeks and Patrick still hasn’t managed to get his mouth on David. It’s not for lack of trying.

fell so hard that i woke up [ted/alexis, t, 51,595] by @alittlepudge-neverhurtnobody

Ted passes her the popcorn bowl and pulls his sweatshirt over his head, and Alexis watches appreciatively, cradling the bowl in her lap. But the white t-shirt he’s wearing underneath his sweatshirt pulls up, too, and where Ted has always been flat and toned, there’s now a soft little pile of belly. Alexis blinks, confused. Has Ted — Ted hasn’t always had that, has he? She would know. She would know, right? Like, she would have felt it? or: Alexis finally figures out what her love language is, plus a whole lot of other stuff, like how to be a good partner, how to effectively communicate, and why she's so into Ted asking if she's gonna eat the rest of that.

i requested no conversation... [david/patrick, T, 1,301] by @startswithhope

Patrick will probably look back on this day and dissect all of the decisions he’s made in what is apparently a choose your own adventure type scenario and wonder at all of them, but in this moment, he decides to take the riskier of options.

Lucky Just To Linger In Your Life [david/patrick, M, 10,052] by @vanillahigh00

David and Patrick are not together and have been working at the store for about six months. It's Marcy's birthday and Patrick wants to go see his mom. Can he convince David to come with him?

oh dear, the biggest of all fears [david/stevie, E, 3,242] by @ratchet

It's not jealousy he's feeling. Absolutely not. There's nothing to be jealous of. They're friends. Just friends. Who fuck, occasionally. Nothing more. He doesn't want anything more. More involves putting down roots, investing time, feelings. He doesn’t have the emotional collateral for that. ----- or: s01e10.5 - david what on earth is going on in that little head of yours, huh?

one single thread of gold [david/patrick, T, 29,059] by returntosaturn

The driver is new—only with them a few weeks—and David’s only gotten a glimpse of him a time or two, over his shoulder from the cab of the car, out of the corner of his eye when he held the door. He’s got sturdy shoulders, a sweet chin and a button nose, and the fact that David has taken notice of any of this, enough to give name and illustration to it, only adds to his irritation. // Downton Abbey AU

strip it down [david/patrick, E, 6,527] by @schittyfic

Patrick loves how methodical David can be when he channels his focus into a task. He loves that he can take something so complicated on the surface and smooth it out with capable hands until it’s simple. He loves that he can stand here and talk about cleaning products in that nonchalant tone and somehow, somehow have Patrick’s pulse picking up and his face warming with a steady blush. * In which David strips Patrick's baseball uniforms, and Patrick has a lot of feelings about it.

That Haven We Knew [ted/alexis, NR, 3,743] by jmda4

Alexis is thriving in New York City. Alexis Rose Communications is well-respected, and she's happy to be tied closely to her career. The last thing she can, or wants to, think about is a relationship. She doesn't have time for anything she knows won't last. Then, she receives a text that makes her heart drop. Ted Mullens is wrapping up his contract in the Galapagos. He loved every second of it but decides that he doesn't want to sleep in a dorm room forever. He's talked to Alexis a little bit over the years, but both came to the conclusion that regular communication was just too hard. Then, he sends a text.

wine tasting and working late [stevie/twyla, G, 1,868] by @heysmalltownboy

Stevie took a breath. “Do you remember when I told you that I only drink red wine? Well, I’m pretty sure that I drink white wine too now. Or, I always did? I don’t know, I’m bad at this.” “So, do you mean that-” David started, trying to follow their old metaphor. “I kissed Twyla,” Stevie finally said.

You Know Me So Well [david/patrick, E, 5,238] by @lisamc-21

Patrick and David take a trip to Seattle to celebrate their five-year wedding anniversary. This is some fluff, some sweetness, and some smut.

2022

All my secrets are safe in your heart as well… [twyla & jocelyn, G, 2,745] by @rhetoricalk @typewritess

A glimpse through the years at how Jocelyn looked out for and took care of Twyla while she was growing up.

Best (Friend) Practices [alexis & ruth, G, 4,499] by @sarahlevys

Ruth makes terrible, corny jokes. She talks for way too long about her high school trifecta of mathletes, robotics, and debate team, and doesn’t entirely manage to hide her surprise when Alexis mentions finishing high school, like, two years ago. She tallies up their bill at the end, then charges Alexis for 58.33% of their appetizer because she accidentally had seven shrimp to Ruth’s five. It’s the best evening Alexis has had in a long while. When Johnny sets up Alexis and Ruth on a friend date, Alexis gets more than she bargained for (and then some).

Dance with me [david/patrick, T, 1,902] by @myolivebranch

Early in their relationship, at a party, David asks Patrick to dance.

Rose-Brewer Bébés [david/patrick, M, 36,232] by resilient_rose

David and Patrick decide to adopt kids, but not everything goes according to plan.

slow and sure [david & twyla, G, 1,036 + podfic] by @hullomoon

David and Twyla bond over painting

The Forest Between Us [patrick & twyla, T, 4,900] by @treepyful

Patrick and Twyla are morning people. David and Alexis are not. This continues to be true while camping. A 5+1 of early morning chats through the years.

time, wondrous time, gave me the blues and then purple-pink skies [ted/alexis, G, 2,814] by blueberriesandcream

how ted and alexis cross paths again, three years later.

you come away with a great little story [david & alexis, G, 2,750 + podfic] by @nerdframed @roseapothecary

In the quiet aftermath of one of the Rose family holiday parties, David and Alexis bond about how their lives have changed.

2023

Home [david/patrick, G, 709] by @liron-ao3

David and Patrick move into their cottage.

written in the stars [david/patrick, G, 246] by @enablelove

Patrick just wants to hold David's hand.

2024

Ray-Tired and Loving It? [david/patrick, T, 4,707] by @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3

David and Patrick have just moved into their brand new just-pretentious-enough retirement village and find themselves grappling with an age-old problem: Ray.

Stevie's Secret [david & stevie, G, 100] by mallpretzles

David finds something mortifying in Stevie’s closet.

text Ray-ted [david/patrick, M, 581] by @weathereyehorizon

I'm going to leave the summary as I originally pitched this to my series co-writers. Ray is also somehow naked. Stevie never helps.

Stats:

No fanworks for 2017 or 2018 2019: 3 fics/4,963 words 2020: 6 fics/6,397 words 2021: 14 fics/143,598 words 2022: 8 fanworks (6 fics, 2 fic/podfic combos)/56,878 words 2023: 2 fics/955 words 2024: 3 fics/5,388 words Total: 36 fanworks (34 fics, 2 fic/podfic combos)/218,179 words

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

What's THE buddie theme song?