lilaniem

[lilaniem]

A Letter to 2020:

Dear 2020,

It’s easy to say that describing you as eventful would be an understatement. We’re only halfway through your year and you have been one hell of a ride. I never would have imagined that this was how the start of the new decade would occur. I’m sure everyone in the whole world has experienced an overwhelming amount of emotion in regard to all the chaos that you’ve stirred within these six months. 2020, it genuinely feels like we’re caught in some crazy action movie. If your intention for the year was to “make your mark,” I’ll give you kudos because I’m one hundred percent sure you will go down in the history books. There is even a high possibility that someone in the future will make a movie about you. It would be so cool to say “woah I lived through that!” Honestly, this whole experience has been so surreal. 

As a graduating student of the Class of 2020, I’ve got to say that I haven’t been very fond of what you planned for this year so far. You stripped away all my plans of spending my last few months of high school like a normal graduating student should’ve. You took away what would've been some of the most memorable events a teenager has dreamt about. For some, it could be dressing up and going to prom, or enjoying the little time they have left with their friends before splitting up and adventuring into the real world; but, I’m sure for many, the dream was to finally  walk across that stage and bid farewell to the cramped hallways, messy lockers, and school we’ve called home for the past 4 years. Seriously 2020, why did you have to turn the world upside down this year? I’ve waited 4 years of my high school career to finally have a spare class and I wasn’t even able to take advantage of getting to leave school early since you cut my second semester short! This was also supposed to be my easier semester! The idea that I’d be able to spend more time with my friends was what powered me through the countless nights I spent studying for the chemistry, biology, advanced functions AND philosophy tests I’d sometimes have on the same day during first semester. I’m sure you understand my frustration towards this bump in the road. It feels like all my expectations and high hopes have been thrown down the drain.

2020, I don’t even think you realized how important of a year you are to me. Ever since I entered Grade 12, I’ve become very anxious about the future. This year I’ll be going into university and I’m pretty scared about it. I’m a first-generation student from Canada so my journey to university is a little confusing since my parents are also new to this whole experience. I’m still unsure of the path I want to take which is nerve-wracking since it feels like everyone my age seems to actually have direction in their lives. It also sucks that the first semester of many universities will be held online. This makes it 100 times harder to make friends in my opinion which I’m nervous about. In some ways, I’m grateful for the fact that the world has “slowed down” this year because it gives me a bit more time to calm down and plan things out. 

You started the year with wildfires in Australia and the rumours of “World War III.” 2020, you filled many of the students and teachers of Ontario with the worry of strikes and broke our hearts with the death of Kobe Bryant. To the world, you brought Covid-19 and forced us to stop and slow down. These past few months spent social distancing have been boring but it also went by surprisingly quick. 

Fast forward to what is going on now, change is happening and it’s thanks to you. After the murder of George Floyd, millions of people across the globe have spoken out and fought against social injustice. I truly stand by the idea that 2020 is a year devoted to change. Since many of us are at home and have more time to spend on social media, it has forced us to see the world and all its negativity. It has allowed us to realize that things aren’t right and they need to change. At times, the information overload can be heartbreaking and weigh you down but it’s our reality and we have to face it. I can admit that sometimes I wish we could go back to the time when everything was “normal” but I now realize that we’re living through a key step forward in the battle to abolish hundreds of years of racism. The things we’ve learned this past month will be integrated into a “new normal.” In this age of technology, resources to strengthen our knowledge are within close reach which I’m grateful for. We can make change through a tap of our fingers. Change is literally in our hands.

Despite the fact that I’ve pretty much only complained about how much of a rollercoaster you've been, I can admit that you have opened my eyes to many new things. I’ve learned to appreciate the early mornings on the bus to school, the breakfast bagels from the cafeteria and the battle I have with myself everyday to stay awake in my last period. Ever since we’ve been told to follow social distancing requirements, being stuck at home has made me really miss being in school where I can talk to my friends and actually learn new things with teachers face to face. I also realized that learning calculus through a computer screen is definitely not my thing. Sadly, it seems like I will have to continue putting up with this new way of learning. I miss going outside in general. The weather has gotten nice so it makes it 10 times more agonizing since I should be outside enjoying the sun. In short, you’ve taught me to appreciate my life. 

I also want to thank you for giving me time to care for myself. These past few months have been an endless excuse for self care days. I started baking and painting which is something I never usually have time to do. I’ve watched a ton of cool movies and shows. I’ve also become more organized. The routine of checking emails frequently and handing in online assignments on time has helped me manage my time well. 

 It is clear to say that I still have very mixed emotions about you. There have been both pros and cons to your coming but this is the new life we are all living. It is what it is. Humans are resilient beings and I’m truly blessed to have survived through these past few months under your rein. 2020, I don’t know what other crazy plans you have in store for the rest of the year but to be quite frank, please take a chill pill, dude. I think it would benefit you and the rest of the world. Either way I hope I’ll be able to keep up with you as I continue on with the rest of your year. Please be good to me as I enter university and please be good to the rest of the world. Give your older sister, 2019, my best regards. I miss her dearly. Talk to you soon!

                                                                       Sincerely,

                                                                               Lilanie M.

[lilaniem]

Opinion Piece (Option 2): Can violence be justified?

                                                               Lilanie Montoya

Is violence the appropriate response to social injustice? Is violence an effective and just method to achieve equality and eliminate racism and police brutality? 

      “A riot is the language of the unheard” Martin Luther King Jr.

  Through the past week, we’ve seen an uproar of news coverage and millions of posts on all social media platforms regarding the death of African-American, George Floyd who was murdered by Derek Chauvin and three other Minneapolis police men. His murder was witnessed as a viral video for the world to see. After his death, demonstrations of peaceful protests took place in Minneapolis which became violent after riots arose where stores were set ablaze, damaged and looted. Policemen in states all across America began to fire rubber bullets and tear gas at other peaceful protesters. Cities across the world also protest with the Black Lives Matter movement in the midst of this pandemic. 

    I’m not one for violence but in my opinion, the violence that has been going on is an appropriate response in regard to social injustice. George Floyd was only one of many victims of police brutality and racism. How many more lives have to be taken before there is justice? How many more years of peaceful protests will there have to be until the black community will be heard? As Martin Luther King Jr. has said, “A riot is the language of the unheard” and the Black community has been unheard for far too long. Systematic racism has been in place for nearly 400 years, along with the negative and unfair prejudices forced onto Black people. They’re sick of hearing about the death of another one of their brothers or sisters at the hands of someone who is meant to protect. They’re afraid of losing another loved one. They’re tired and frustrated because their obvious call for help is left unheard yet again. There isn’t a hand book on the “right way” to protest or on how to make your voice heard after generations of oppression. I have no right to tell them how to react towards the social injustices that happen to them. I will never be able to completely understand how it feels to be Black in America. I do, on the other hand, understand that I have the opportunity to educate myself and others about their battle. I have the ability to donate, sign petitions and support the cause. I have the ability to participate in protests and vote for leaders who want to make a positive change in the near future. The violence going on right now is just another form of speaking up and invoking positive change. Things NEED to change. For the past few days, I’ve experienced emotions ranging from sadness, disgust, disappointment and anger. I was brought to tears while trying to explain the events going on in today’s society to my parents because everything has been far too heartbreaking. I’ve seen people who argue that “it’s tragic that an innocent black man was murdered, but destroying property has to stop.” I believe they’re prioritizing the wrong things within that statement. No possession in this world is worth taking a life. Yes, what if cities are at ruin, you can rebuild new buildings. What you can’t bring back are all the Black lives that have been taken because of social injustice.

      Is violence an effective and just method to achieve equality and eliminate racism and police brutality? As ironic as this question is, it isn’t easy to come up with a black and white answer. This question was harder for me to answer because racism still clearly exists and police brutality still continues to go on as I speak. It’s hard to ask yourself if violence is effective because there have been years of peaceful protests but still, racism and police brutality have continued. There have been social movements which have protested causes for years and used “violence” through riots to achieve equality. For example, the Stonewall riots took place in 1969 as a response to the frequent police raids against LGBTQ+ community establishments. The riots that took place in Stonewall inspired others to take a stand and fight for their equality as LGBTQ+. Although this revolution didn’t start at Stonewall, without their contribution to the battle, picture how many people would still live in fear without the riot acting as a catalyst for them to speak up. There might have never been the celebration of Pride. There wouldn’t be the recognition of gay rights and same sex marriage would’t be legalized in various countries across the world. I don’t believe violence alone can act as an effective method but I do know that it has acted as an incentive for people in society to make a change. Our history is full of collections of peaceful and violent battles which led to society as we know it today. Women acquired rights through protests and the suffragettes which had been brutal. Before the abolishment of slavery, do you think there were individual who didn’t fight back and revolt? My only concern is that there are sadly individuals who exploit the chaos of the situation. From people who trash local businesses, attack small neighbourhoods and harm innocent onlookers trying to continue along their day to leaders who negatively advertise the message of the movement to create police propaganda or to influencers to use the movement to earn the respect of people watching from home but lie off the camera. Although these individuals abuse this cause, it shouldn’t divert our eyes from the main objective at hand which is to end racism and social injustice. 

      For many, the initial plan for the coming year of 2020 was to start the decade with fun filled memories and stories to tell. Soon, many realized that 2020 became a year devoted to change. To the youth today, picture this: Your child comes home after learning a history lesson about the events in 2020 and asks you, “what did you do during this time?” Would you be proud of yourself? Would you be satisfied to say you were silent and never fought? In the age of technology, knowledge is at your fingertips so right now is not the time to be ignorant and close minded. This year acts as an eye opener and educational time for millions around the world and will surely go down in the history books for generations to learn about.

[lilaniem]

“Your Mood and Food” Nutritional Psychiatry

               BY: Richard J.                                                 

                                                            Lilanie Montoya

Consider the following:

Write down 5 things you learned from this article

There is a field of psychiatry that emphasizes on the relationship between diet and mental health known as nutritional psychiatry.

Food plays an important role in not only depression but in schizophrenia, ADHD, and Alzheimer’s. 

Neurotrophins are proteins that protect the brain against oxidative stress and promote the growth of new cells in the hippocampus (the centre for our ability to learn and remember)

Certain microorganisms “good bacteria” in gut microbiome not only protect the lining of intestines and limit inflammation but also influence emotions by aiding the production of serotonin “the happy hormone”

Fats play a critical role in the brain

Make a list of 10 healthy foods you eat regularly

Eggs (boiled)

Bell peppers

Cauliflower

Smoothies (fresh peaches and mangoes with coconut water)

Nuts (Almonds, peanuts, pistachios)

Tomatoes

White mushrooms 

Strawberries

Grapes

Pineapples

Make a list of 5 unhealthy foods you eat regularly

Popcorn 

Fried chicken

Cookies 

Candy

Instant ramen noodles 

In your opinion, what is the link between diet and mental health (nutritional psychiatry)? Write 200 words here and use ideas from the article if you wish. 

Despite decades of psychiatric belief that the mind and body are separate from one another, they’ve recently discovered that there is a link between diet and mental health. Through the article, I’ve come to recognize that depending how healthy a person’s diet is, the greater the risk of long term consequences such as diabetes and mental health diseases decrease. Many of the unhealthy foods eaten by a majority of Western society is called junk food because of the fact that it has no nutritional value to the body. Basically if you keep treating your body like trash and continue to eat unhealthy foods, you're going to continue feeling lousy, both mentally and physically because you are depriving your body of important vitamins and nutrients meant to nourish your body. The link between diet and mental health directly relates to the nutrients that help brain health. Through the article, I’ve learned that unequal intakes of omega-3 and omega-6 fats are involved in a number of mental health problems such as depression, concentration and memory. Omega-3 and 6 cannot be manufactured within the body, meaning it has to be taken into the body by the foods consumed. Therefore, it is the consumer’s duty to take action in balancing their own diet to meet the required intake. If this nothing is done to improve their eating habits, they become more susceptible to mental health risks. The article touches on many experiments from across the world that have acknowledged the effects of the brain when action is taken to be more positive than when no action has been made. Although there isn’t a specific way for one person to take in all the required nutrients suited for their bodies, it is more beneficial for their diets to change towards a healthier route. I've come to agree that a healthy diet can equal a healthy mind.

[lilaniem]

Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird BY: Wallace Stevens

                                                                               Lilanie Montoya

Stanza I

Among twenty snowy mountains,

The only moving thing

Was the eye of the blackbird.

Analysis:

In stanza one, the blackbird symbolizes the curiosity that an individual has for the world.

This stanza creates a mood which feels cold and almost lonesome.

Although the difference between the blackbird and the mountains are immense, the bird gives off a power that dominates against the cold winter mountains since it stands out against the snow.

In lines 2 and 3, the eye of the blackbird moving can symbolize seeing the world through a different perspective, being curious and wanting to understand. It shows that even though the blackbird is small compared to the grand world around it, it isn’t intimidated by it but rather approaches it with eagerness and confidence. 

Stanza II

I was of three minds,

Like a tree

In which there are three blackbirds.

Analysis:

In stanza two, the blackbird symbolizes pressure.

The comparison between the poet’s three minds and a tree which has many branches can refer to a division between ideas or choices he has to make.

The blackbird perched on each of the three branches (representing choices) can symbolize pressure or fear used to intimidate them to choose a path

Blackbirds seem powerful which is why it's used to intimidate the observer.

Stanza III

The blackbird whirled in the autumn winds.

It was a small part of the pantomime.

Analysis:

In stanza three, the blackbird symbolizes the poet’s thoughts.

The imagery of the bird whirling in the wind feels chaotic which can mirror the way the poet’s thoughts are disarrayed.

The line, “it was a small part of the pantomime” can refer to the realization that everyone is just a small part of the universe.

The poet uses a metaphor to compare life to a theatrical play. He does this because in a way, we all “play” a small role in the world, whether we realize it or not.

We can infer that the poet realizes this, resulting in the whirling chaos of the blackbird since he is struggles to comprehend his own role within the universe’s vastness.

Stanza IV

A man and a woman

Are one.

A man and a woman and a blackbird

Are one.

Analysis:

In stanza four, the blackbird symbolizes equality between nature and humans.

Just like the union between man and woman at marriage, they become equals to one another through loving and respecting each other.

When the blackbird is added and made one with man and woman, it is to symbolize the importance of nature. Just as there should be equality between man and woman, there should also be the same respect and equality made to nature.

The man, woman and blackbird are made one because they all carry life force, therefore, they should all have the same value.

Stanza V

I do not know which to prefer,

The beauty of inflections

Or the beauty of innuendoes,

The blackbird whistling

Or just after.

Analysis:

In stanza five, the poet contemplates on whether to appreciate the beautiful call of the blackbird at the moment, or in its absence.

The poet uses the blackbird’s song to symbolize reality and imagination.

He uses the blackbird since it is a common bird whose song is heard frequently and cast aside. If the bird were to disappear, would you have a greater appreciation for it?

I related this stanza to the question, “why is love intensified by its absence?” The poet questions whether he should find a greater appreciation for the blackbird (or other things in your life. eg. people) in actuality or within his fantasies.

Stanza VI

Icicles filled the long window

With barbaric glass.

The shadow of the blackbird

Crossed it, to and fro.

The mood

Traced in the shadow

An indecipherable cause.

Analysis:

In stanza six, the blackbird symbolizes the future and the mystery it holds.

The window is icy and the image of the bird is unclear and unrecognizable (hence the line saying “an indecipherable cause”). Still, the bird continues to fly back and forth past the window.

The haziness of the blackbird constantly flying past the window is similar to the inevitability of the future, as well as, the mystery behind it. Our future may be unclear to us right now and for someone who isn’t familiar with the shadow of the blackbird, they feel more fearful of what awaits them than someone who recognizes this change.

Stanza VII

O thin men of Haddam,

Why do you imagine golden birds?

Do you not see how the blackbird

Walks around the feet

Of the women about you?

Analysis:

In stanza seven, the blackbird symbolizes being unacknowledged as valuable or valid. 

The poet specifies that these men are thin which can symbolize their constant hunger for more, which is referred to when he writes, “Why do you imagine golden birds?”

The poet almost angrily questions the idiocy of the men for missing something that is right under their noses. The blackbird is a common animal which is why the writer uses it to symbolize something that is constantly overlooked.

The thin men do not recognize the beauty of the blackbird because they seek to find beauty in the golden birds.

The poet teaches us that rather than being greedy, we should also recognize the beauty in the things we already have and feel grateful towards them.

Stanza VIII

I know noble accents

And lucid, inescapable rhythms;

But I know, too,

That the blackbird is involved

In what I know.

Analysis:

In stanza eight, the blackbird symbolizes the poet’s cause for its habits and behaviour, whether it's a person or an event.

The poet recognizes the impact the blackbird has made on him. He has realized that his accents and unavoidable patterns are because of the blackbird's influence on his knowledge. He is knowledgeable because of the “blackbird” of his life. 

Stanza IX

When the blackbird flew out of sight,

It marked the edge

Of one of many circles.

Analysis: 

In stanza nine, the blackbird symbolizes the many stages and impediments that occur within one’s life

The act of the blackbird flying out of sight can refer to the beginning of an individual’s new  life and being on their own for the first time, similar to a child growing up and leaving the safety of their home. Similarly, birds leave their nests after they’ve learned to fly.

Reference to circles = circle of life

Circles don't have edges but the line may be referring to a limitation that they’ve reached in their life. It doesn’t end at this “edge” because the individual continues along other circles. This can symbolize them overcoming the obstacle and moving to another phase of their life.

Stanza X

At the sight of blackbirds

Flying in a green light,

Even the bawds of euphony

Would cry out sharply.

Analysis:

In stanza ten, the blackbird symbolizes a memory of a woman that the poet fell in love with but lost.

The poet says that even women in brothels (people who work to bring pleasure) would be swayed by her influence. 

The line “at the sight of blackbirds flying in a green light” can symbolize how mesmerizing and beautiful she was. 

The use of the word euphony can refer to her being good with words, hence why she is symbolized by a blackbird, because of their beautiful singing.

The “cry out sharply” can refer to the pain he felt when she left.

Stanza XI

He rode over Connecticut

In a glass coach.

Once, a fear pierced him,

In that he mistook

The shadow of his equipage

For blackbirds.

Analysis:

In stanza eleven, I interpreted the blackbirds to symbolize two things: traumatic memories and a fear of oneself 

The man seems to be trying to leave or suppress himself from something he feels or remembers but the fear constantly follows him. I interpreted this because he travels in a glass coach, which I assume means that he doesn't need to hide because it's something he already can't hide from.

He’d rather run from it.

I interpreted the blackbirds to symbolize the fear of himself because he mistook his own equipage for this fear. This is a metaphor for a reflection of himself. 

His equipage is made of glass which can be used as a mirror. He was afraid of the shadow/reflection of the person he has become.

Stanza XII

The river is moving.

The blackbird must be flying.

Analysis:

In stanza twelve, the blackbird symbolizes a connection to someone who isn’t in the poet’s life anymore. Possibly someone who has died.

The blackbird is out of sight but sees that the river is moving. The poet understands that the bird must be on the move too. This demonstrates the connection he has to this person. Although they are not physically there, the poet sees pieces of the person in his surroundings. 

This symbolizes the connection that individuals may carry for people who are no longer present in their lives but feel that they will always be there.

Stanza XIII

It was evening all afternoon.

It was snowing

And it was going to snow.

The blackbird sat

In the cedar-limbs.

Analysis:

In stanza thirteen, the poet returns to an image similar to stanza one. The slight difference is between the movement made in the scene. The roles have reversed as snow falls upon the sitting bird.

The blackbird in this stanza symbolizes change and its inevitability. 

The poet writes, “it was snowing and it was going to snow” as a metaphor for change and learning to continue through life with it.

The blackbird in this case seems more wiser in comparison to its eager self in stanza one. The bird is still powerful but has experienced life and understood its place.

It sits still on the cedar limb and watches as life changes around it.

The saying  “Life goes on whether you want it to or not” goes through my head because I believe the blackbird finally recognizes this.

[lilaniem]

DL: Week 5 (Task 2)— One of my closest friends celebrated her 17th birthday this week and she wasn’t able to have a proper party because of the virus. She always gives me amazing gifts so I decided to surprise her with a sign I made and a present. I also painted the sign which is something I don’t usually do, but I actually liked how it turned out. We tried to respect the social distancing requirements by wearing masks and gloves during our meeting. We also stood approximately 6ft apart to take these pictures. It felt so wrong not being able to greet her with a hug. The whole interaction was quick but also very awkward because I had to leave the presents on her driveway and she had to wait until I got into my car to pick them up instead of actually handing it to her. When I left, she texted me saying that the gifts I gave her brightened her day. Even though, we weren’t able to celebrate the occasion in a normal fashion, it made me happy to be able to bring a smile to her face despite these tough times. Happy 17th Birthday, Veronica!!! Stay safe & healthy guys!!! :D

[lilaniem]

DL: Week 5— Big Answers in The Lovely Bones (Task 1)

                                                                   Lilanie Montoya

This book contains topics relating to rape, murder and sexual predation. Would you recommend it to teens as a way to gain awareness of these issues or is it better for a more mature audience because these issues are too frightening and traumatic? Is it necessary for there to be a trigger-warning beforehand?

    The Lovely Bones revolves around the death of a young girl named Susie, who is raped and murdered by one of her neighbours. In my opinion, this novel is a good source to bring awareness to teens about this topic. Even though it's frightening to think about, these things can happen to anyone at any age, not just adults. It is understandable that some parents may feel as though this novel may be too gruesome and traumatizing for their child but, this issue isn’t a fairy tale but rather a reality that happens in the world today.  If parents continue to force ignorance on their children by painting a perfect world for them to live in, it’ll be hard for them to recognize that things like rape and murder can happen to kids in real life. People, especially teens need to be aware of that. As kids, we are also very gullible and easy to take control of just as Susie had been in the novel. It sets an example of how one should be aware and not too trusting to everybody. I don’t agree with people forcing teens to read this novel but, I think the readers should choose for themselves if they are ready to read The Lovely Bones. This novel also doesn’t romanticize this topic like some books do which sets a good example because these cases are horrible and the novel doesn’t fail to showcase the horror of them. The Lovely Bones is also a good way for people who may have been victims or have known someone who has been affected by this subject. In the novel, Susie was able to meet other victims who’ve been killed by George Harvey. She had explained how she felt after sharing her story by stating, “Each time I told my story, I lost a bit, the smallest drop of pain. It was that day that I knew I wanted to tell the story of  my family. Because horror on Earth is real and it is everyday. It is like a flower or like the sun; it cannot be contained.” (pg 186) I believe this novel can help bring peace to people who have suffered or even refuse to seek help. In The Lovely Bones, Susie exhibits how sharing her story helped her come closer to healing and getting rid of the pain she felt emotionally. This scene can help encourage people to share their stories or seek help if needed. In another scene of the novel, Mr Harvey (the serial killer) recollects his first time harming someone. It was when he had raped a girl from her school. When he came home that day he said, “But his father didn’t ask, and no one came around for him. No father or brother or policeman.” This is another issue that has recently taken into light. The Me Too Movement is a movement against sexual harassment and sexual assault of women. There have been many cases of rape that have been kept in the dark for years because women have felt embarrassed or afraid to speak out about them. This novel showcases characters who fight to protect women such as Susie, Ruth and Len. This also sets a good example because it empowers women to recognize that they are not alone in this battle. I also think there should be a trigger warning because the novel can get quite descriptive in the beginning. I think it's just a good precaution to take because it can possibly bring back memories for some readers who may have not fully healed from their own traumas. 

Is it worth it to seek revenge on someone who has harmed you or one of your loved ones?

     No, in my opinion it is not worth it to seek revenge on someone who has harmed you or one of your loved ones. Even if you strongly believe that taking revenge will make you feel better, it’s highly likely that you’ll end up feeling disappointed or unsatisfied with your outcome. For example, after Susie’s death, some of her family and friends grew angry and wanted to seek vengeance. Susie’s father, Jack tries to figure out who murdered his daughter, thus resulting in his suspicions of Mr. Harvey. In a conversation with Mrs. Singh, she supports his suspicion and feeds him an idea on what she would do if it were her in his position. She states, “When I was sure, I would find a quiet way, and I would kill him.” (pg 127) This piece of advice caused his ambitions to retaliate to flare which didn’t turn out well because one night, Jack had seen a light at the cornfield. Driven by anger, he goes to take “revenge” on who he assumed was Mr. Harvey but instead it was some of Susie’s friends and Jack ended up in the hospital. This example from the novel shows us how taking revenge isn’t worth it. Jack had been driven by hate and anger which caused him to act impulsively. His plan not only backfired on his behalf by getting hurt but the situation could’ve taken a turn if he had also seriously harmed Susie’s friends. If that had happened, he would have been in the same position as Susie’s murderer. My family has personally experienced a situation where one of our relatives has passed away because of an incident caused by fault of someone else. In all honesty, we used to feel like taking revenge on this person would’ve been great but at the end of the day,  seeking revenge won’t be able to bring back the life that was lost. In situations like this, forgiving the person who has harmed you and your family is extremely tough.  After years, hate might build up but there is also the possibility of letting go of the situation and learning to live with the event. Even if losing someone hurts, your family and friends wouldn’t want you to keep holding onto hate in your heart.

Are events within a person’s childhood the cause for its habits and tendencies in its future?

     I do believe that events that happen within a person’s childhood plays a significant factor to its tendencies and habits in their future. Children are like sponges when it comes to absorbing knowledge and a child's upbringing and personal experiences mold their personality too. Depending on their surroundings, a child has the possibility of continuing along the same path that they’ve been given because of past traumas. In The Lovely Bones, it is revealed to us that Susie had not been the only victim of Mr. Harvey’s. The readers are able to see parts of his childhood that shaped him into his tendencies as an adult. During Mr. Harvey's childhood his mother teaches him how to shoplift and rob victims of roadside fatalities at a very young age. The novel describes him to have “scavenger’s eyes” which he possesses after being taught by his mother to “look past the dead” (pg 188) during a trip to a roadside fatality memorial. This habit as a child never broke since we see that after he kills one of his victims, he steals one of their items as a token of his act. He often marvels over these objects similar to how a scavenger would. Another event from Mr. Harvey’s childhood had been when his father abandons Mr. Harvey’s mother in Truth and Consequences, Mexico. In the novel, we see that this event has greatly affected him. It is quick to assume that one of the reasons for why Mr. Harvey murders women because of the loss of his mother. It states in the novel that his favourite dreams had been on nights after he had killed someone. They were ones of children and women but then the scene cuts to a memory of his mother, whom he is only able to see in his dreams. The loss of a female figure at a young age caused him to yearn for one, which is why he rapes women. The Lovely Bones also touches on how killers have peculiar patterns on how they did things. A trend in Mr. Harvey’s character is the fact that he builds dollhouses. It can be interpreted that he builds his own version of a perfect home due to the fact he lacked his own in his childhood. This reason is also why he may have murdered Susie, who seemingly lived a perfect life with her family was because he envied her. A childhood habit that I fail to get rid of today is how I always leave the lights on in every room. As a kid, I was always scared of the dark because my friends and family used to joke about there being monsters when the lights turned off. Although, this connection may seem like a stretch in comparison to Mr. Harvey’s life, and I also don’t carry this childhood fear to the same extent that it used to be and I habitually leave the lights on everywhere. Some things may change as you grow up, but there are always those little peculiar patterns that stick. 

[lilaniem]

Distance Learning: Week 4— Moments in The Lovely Bones

                                                                 Lilanie Montoya

Moment One— Abigail Cheats on Jack with Len: As Jack sleeps in his hospital bed after his surgery, Abigail and Len smoke together on a service balcony for the heating near Jack’s hospital room. They begin kissing then start having sex. 

This moment made me feel very angry and disappointed in Susie’s mother. The fact that Abigail was having sex with someone other than her own husband, who was also sitting in pain in a hospital bed not too far away made me especially frustrated. I was also very disappointed because I liked her character before this event. She loved her kids very much and spoke very passionately about Greek gods and goddesses which I had admired. I also thought this moment was very important because it was the final push that made Abigail stray further away from her family.

Moment Two— Lindsey Breaks into Mr. Harvey’s House: When Mr. Harvey leaves his home and Lindsey breaks in to find evidence for the suspicion of Mr. Harvey being Susie’s murderer. He pulls into the driveway and enters the house unaware of Lindsey’s presence. She accidentally makes a noise upstairs and Mr. Harvey runs to the scene. He doesn't make it in time because Lindsey quickly jumps out his bedroom window but, he was able to see her run down the street and figure out her identity. 

This was a very significant moment in the novel. For the whole duration of the chapter, I felt extremely anxious and fearful. The idea that Mr. Harvey could appear at any time and catch Lindsey in his house kept me on my toes. It also made me very nervous to think about what Lindsey might find in his house. This scene was very important because this event caused Mr. Harvey to pack up his things and run away. He recognized that his identity as Susie’s murderer might be revealed. This was also the last time anyone would have seen him after many years.

Moment Three— Susie Meets The Other George Harvey Victims: Franny approaches Susie and hands her a folded map and instructs her to follow it when she has strength. A few days later, after following the map, Susie finds herself in front of an olive tree in a clearing with women and young girls walking toward her. Susie learns that they’re also George Harvey victims. 

I found this moment very beautiful and peaceful (in an odd way). Although this moment was heartbreaking to see all the women who’ve been affected by George Harvey in its entirety, it was also empowering to hear them share their stories. It also gave me a sense of comfort knowing that Susie, who ultimately felt all alone after her death, was finally able to meet people who understood her and make her feel at peace with her tragic story. 

Moment Four— Susie’s One Year Death Anniversary: Anyone who knew of Susie gathered in the cornfield where she had died and held a memorial. Lindsey saw the group at the field and tells her mother who quickly dismisses her. Later, Lindsey, Buckley and their father join the memorial while their mother stays at home.Their father asks one of their neighbours to sing a song that Susie used to love to hear and everyone sings along. 

This moment was both heartwarming and heart wrenching. I was angry at the way Susie’s mother dismissed Lindsey about the memorial as if it meant nothing to the family. I found it very disrespectful since it was her own daughter’s memorial and she acted very insensitively. On the other hand, it made me happy to see how many people came out to the memorial. It shows just how many lives that Susie had touched when she was alive. This moment was important because it was the first step made towards Susie letting go and she began to say her goodbyes to many of the people present.

Moment Five— Hard Evidence/ Len’s Guilt: In 1976, Len’s team dug in the cornfield again and found a Coke can with both Susie’s and Mr. Harvey’s fingerprints on it. He recognizes that Jack Salmon had been right from the very beginning. He felt guilty because if he hadn’t gone to the mall with Susie’s mother that day, Mr. Harvey wouldn’t have escaped.

This moment in the novel made me feel upset because I felt like Len only felt guilty after finding the clues when he should’ve felt guilty for having sex with Abigail and not doing his duty years ago. It’s his job to help others and he should’ve taken Jack more seriously when he had his suspicions about Mr. Harvey. I felt like he let his desires get in the way of his work which was super unprofessional, especially since he was the Salmon family’s detective. Len was aware that it was wrong to be meeting up with Abigail but he still continued which made me feel disappointed.  

Moment Six— Samuel Proposes to Lindsey: On Lindsey and Samuel’s college graduation day, he proposes on their way home. When they told the rest of the family, everyone burst with joy and even Buckley, who was usually very serious, let loose. Susie also jumped with happiness in her heaven.

This moment was the first piece of good news that the Salmon family has heard since the death of Susie. It made me feel happy to see how joyful the family had been for the first time in a while. After Susie’s death, her family went through tremendous emotional damage. It was heartwarming to see them very supportive and overjoyed of their engagement.

Moment Seven— Buckley and Jack’s Argument: Buckley goes to their basement and finds a box of old clothes, which he plans to use for his tomato plants. Jack, his father sees that the old clothes are Susie’s and he tells Buckley not to use them. This frustrates Buckley and before Jack can respond, he collapses with a heart attack.

This was a very important moment in the novel. Buckley doesn’t understand why his father still acts as if Susie was still alive. He also despises how Jack doesn’t take priority over his living children and he believes it was his father’s fault for their mother leaving. I understood why Buckley felt the way he did but I also understood why Jack acts the way he does. It's hard to let go of someone who you’ve loved so remarkably. Sometimes this love can also blind you from other important things. This scene made me feel sad for both characters, especially for Jack who could possibly die.

Moment Eight—Abigail Sees Her Kids After 8 Years: Abigail immediately boards a plane for Philadelphia after Jack’s heart attack. It says “She barely recognized her own child waiting at the end of the long ramp” when she finally lands. When Lindsey spoke the word Mom and called out to her, it felt foreign in her mouth. During the ride to the hospital, Abigail tries to start a conversation with Buckley who responds by whispering “Fuck you” and causes tension to fill their car.

Despite the fact that I wasn’t very fond of Abigail’s character, I did feel slightly sorry for her at this moment. Even though Abigail who abandoned her family, it was sad to see how much her son hated her because of this. This scene also made me feel very tense and awkward. For 8 years, Abigail's children have learned to live without her and this sudden reunion made it feel very foreign. All the characters built up feelings in this moment, made me feel as if there was pressure on my own body as I read through this chapter.

Moment Nine— Abigail and Jack Reunite: When Abigail arrives at the hospital, all outside forces disappear from her mind and she focuses on Jack who laid weakly in his hospital bed. She holds his hand and cries while he says “Hello, Ocean Eyes…My girl.” After he falls asleep, a conversation pops up into her head with the line saying, “...between a man and a woman there was always one person who was stronger than the other one. “That doesn’t mean the weaker one doesn’t love the stronger one”.”

This moment from the novel warmed my heart because it showcases how Jack’s love for Abigail hasn’t faltered even after being apart for 8 years. It made me happy to see him call her by the nickname he gave her all those years back. Even though she left him, he was still happy to see her and did not carry any hate at that moment. I also added the conversation that Abigail thought of because I think remembering the message of the conversation allowed Abigail to recognize the love she still has for him and this warmed my heart.

Moment Ten— Abigail Opens Up About Susie: Abigail wakes up from her spot beside Jack after she hears him talking to Susie’s spirit. As she looks at him in disbelief, he says, “Don’t tell me you don’t see her.” Then “she let go” and she finally goes on about how she sees Susie everything.

This moment made me feel as if a burden has been lifted. Ever since Susie’s death, Abigail refused to acknowledge this fact and tried to keep herself distracted. This led to many bad decisions which caused me to dislike her character for a majority of the novel. I felt happy to see her finally come to terms with her true feelings and it also made me feel proud to see how she’s grown as a character. This scene allowed me to admire a glimpse of the person she had been before the tragedy; a mother who loved her children so dearly. 

[lilaniem]

Distance Learning Week 3— Big Questions in The Lovely Bones BY: Alice Sebold

                                                                 Lilanie Montoya

1. Is it worth it to seek revenge on someone who has harmed you or one of your loved ones?

2. This book contains topics relating to rape, murder and sexual predation. Would you recommend it to teens as a way to gain awareness of these issues or is it better for a more mature audience because these issues are too frightening and traumatic? Is it necessary for there to be a trigger-warning beforehand?

3. Are events within a person’s childhood the cause for its habits and tendencies in its future?

4. Is showing grief a sign of weakness?

5. It is more beneficial to forget a traumatic event or take the time to heal and face it?

6. Does the cause of a person’s death impact the way their loved ones deal with the loss?

[lilaniem]

Distance Learning Week 2: Quotes in The Lovely Bones BY Alice Sebold— Chapters 4-11

                                                                            Lilanie Montoya

1. “My mother’s eyes were oceans, and inside them there was loss (Pg 43).”

Susie uses this metaphor to compare her mother’s eyes to “oceans.” Like an ocean, she saw that there was something much more deeper and mysterious when you looked into them. Susie also describes how ”there was loss” in them, referring to how one can be lost at sea or mesmerized by its beauty. Susie’s father, Jack coined the nickname “ocean eyes” for his wife which the rest of the Salmon family find befitting. 

2. “I stood alone in a sea of bright petals. On Earth, the snowflakes fell soft and blameless, a curtain descending (Pg 57).”

I found this quote quite beautiful because it allows me to imagine a scene similar to the end of a theatrical play when the audience has thrown dozens of flowers at the leading lady which cover the stage then the curtain finally closes, signalling the end. This quote is also a metaphor that compares the snowfall to a closing curtain. It can also be a metaphor illustrating the end of Susie’s life being like the ending of a movie or play.

3. “The guilt on him, the hand of God pressing down on him, saying, You were not there when your daughter needed you (Pg 58).”

This quote recognizes the theme of grief that all the Salmon family members experience over the death of Susie. Susie’s father, Jack undergoes feelings of guilt which weigh him down as a daily reminder of the fact that he is still living and that he was unable to protect his daughter. The metaphor used to compare his guilt to the pressure of God's hand on him also reflects how he continues to judge himself, similar to God’s judgement at the time of death. 

4. “Nothing is ever certain (Pg 27).”

Although this quote is very short and simple, it carries a truth about life. The fact that nothing can ever be truly known refers to life’s inevitable change. Even if you assume that you won’t change, tomorrow or even within the next hour, your life may derail and follow a path you hadn’t thought of before. Ultimately, this quote allows its readers to recognize that no matter how much you prepare for something, there are millions of possibilities of how your assumed outcome can change.

5. “My name was Salmon, like the fish; first name, Susie. I was fourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973 (Pg 1).”

 This is the very first sentence and most important moment of the novel. As the readers continue through the book, it is a clear fact that the whole story revolves around Susie’s death which also ties the themes of grief, reminiscence, love, death and family together. This quote is straight to the point and is able to grasp the attention on the readers right from the start. 

6. “What did dead mean, Ray wondered. It meant lost, it meant frozen, it meant gone (Pg 111-112).”

At this moment, Ray dawns on the true meaning of death which touches on the themes of grief, death and reminiscence. On the day of Susie’s funeral, in his own way, Ray lets her go. Referring to his definition, Susie is lost on Earth, since the location of her body is still unknown and in Heaven, she feels like she doesn’t belong there since her loved ones were taken away from her. Susie is frozen at the age of 14 resulting in her never able to grow old, she also remains as a frozen memory from the past by her loved ones. Lastly, Susie’s body has left their Earth— from the world of the living and is gone.

7.“...when the teachers asked Samuel what he wanted to be, he would say: “I don’t know. I just turned fourteen (Pg 114).”

I can personally connect to this quote. When I was going into high school, I got the question “what career are you going to pursue once you graduate?” from many of my relatives and in all honesty, I replied with “I’m not really sure.” Similar to Samuel’s response, I felt like it was odd to make a child barely over 10 years old to make such an important life decision so early. 

8.“A father’s suspicion…” she (Ray Singh’s mother) began. “Is as powerful as a mother’s intuition (Pg 87).” 

I chose this quote because I felt like it displayed the theme of love a parent has for their child. In this quote, Susie’s father talks about how he suspects Mr. Harvey is Susie’s murder to Ray’s mother. She supports his suspicion through this quote by hinting that a parent's connection to their child is the strongest bond that can never lie. This shows how they came to a mutual agreement considering the fact that they are both parents and are willing to do anything for their children. 

9.“It was grandma Lynn who did the most important thing that day. During the final hymn, as my family stood, she leaned over to Lindsey and whispered, “By the door, that’s him.” Lindsey looked over… Lindsey thought she recognized him. Their eyes locked. Then she passed out (Pg 112).” 

At this moment, Lindsey recognizes who the suspected murderer of her sister is. This is a pivotal point in the novel because now that Susie’s killer is known to Lindsey, she finally has a lead towards finding out what happened to her sister. At this point, we are able to sense that change is about to happen since Lindsey’s character is very ambitious and will likely take action after this point. 

10. “This is just a temporary hell, not a permanent one (Pg 82).” 

This quote contains a life lesson that can be interpreted in a couple of ways. This quote also reminded me of the Bible verse Romans 8:18. One way I interpreted it to say was that your present sufferings are only temporary. Another lesson I took from it is that all life on Earth/”hell” is only temporary (since everyone dies inevitably) and that by entering Heaven, you are released from your anguish.

11.“The possibility of my cutting first period and hiding backstage in the auditorium was, until that day, as remote as the smartest girl in our class being bawled out by the discipline officer (Pg 77).”

I chose this quote because it showcases a side of Susie, telling us that she always follows the rules. This is a clue that hinted her parents into realizing that something had happened to her when she hadn’t made it home before dark on the night of her murder. I can also relate to this trait because I believe it would also seem impossible for me to cut class.

12.“My father wrote, “Leah?” in his book. Then he wrote, “Sofie?” Though unaware of it, he began a list of the dead (Pg 66).”

I chose this quote because it was shocking to uncover this detail about the murders that Mr. Harvey has committed. I found the fact that he tells people that his wife has passed away then fakes her name and uses the name of a girl he has killed before to be very morbid. Even though, Susie’s father didn’t know this at the time, I felt like this quote foreshadows the possibility of Mr. Harvey being the answer to the unsolved missing/murder cases in their town. 

[lilaniem]

A Smile to Remember BY: Charles Bukowski

Lilanie Montoya

(omg sorry!!! this is a very long response!!! but to my defense, it just means I put a lot of thought into this poem)

1.  Themes:

Some themes that I can depict from A Smile to Remember are: domestic abuse, mental instability/illness, death and strength.

Domestic abuse:  In line 8, Henry describes the relationship between his mother and father at home when he says “... my father beat her two or three times a week…” This line tells us about the physical abuse that Henry’s mother endures at the hand of her husband. We can also take note of the fact that Henry is very aware of the violence in his home, and may have also fallen victim to it. The dark turn of events adds a strong sense of contrast between the use of “happier” language in the title (ex. The word “smile”) than what poem is actually about by giving an element of surprise. This definitely was surprising for me to read since I assumed the poem was going to be cheerful.

Mental instability/illness:  In lines 9 and 10, Henry explains the reason for his father’s violence towards his mother as, “...raging through his 6 foot two frame because he couldn't defeat what was attacking him.” The line “he couldn’t defeat what was attacking him” can imply an inner struggle rather than an external one since one can assume that a 6 foot 2 man would be able to defeat any opposing physical force. We can assume the attacks comes from within. Another example of mental illness is the way his mother seems to be in denial of the life-threatening situation they are in. The line “my mother, poor fish, always smiling, wanting to appear happy, she always told me, "be happy, Henry,"  shows the readers how Henry’s mother tries to force him and as well as herself into believing that they are happy despite all their suffering. Also, the fact that she hasn’t left her husband yet can also imply that she might be being manipulated. Lastly, the way Henry is tied into the theme of mental instability is through the possibility of him becoming traumatized by the events in his childhood. At a young age, children are able to absorb knowledge like a sponge, so the fact that Henry experiences the physical abuse of his father, he will remember these events for the rest of his life. 

Death: At the very end of the poem, Henry tells the audience that his five fish have died and that his father had fed them to their cat unremorsefully. To my interpretation, the fish he spoke about throughout the poem were a metaphor for his childhood and his happiness. In the beginning, he speaks about how his fish swim around and around their bowl, I took this related to the cycle he goes through in his own home. When the fish died, it seemed like the death of the only thing that made him happy. 

Strength: Through the poem, I interpreted the theme of strength from Henry’s mother. I felt like Henry’s mother tried to portray herself as being happy for Henry’s sake despite the fact Henry could see it wasn't true. This is shown when he says, “and then, she always did to show me how, and it was the saddest smile I ever saw upon the earth, like hell…” It’s clear how what his mother says contradicts her real actions. I assume that she was doing this to seem strong in the eyes of her son.

2.  Do you agree or disagree with the poem? 

A line I agree but also kind of disagree with in the poem is “...she always told me, "be happy, Henry," and she was right: it's better to be happy if you can be.”

I tend to have this habit of always comparing myself to others. When I feel sad or don’t feel like doing certain things, my brain kind of “rewires” the situation into looking at it from another perspective. For example, instead of thinking that having to wake up early to go to school is a bad thing, I think about all the other kids who aren’t able to get an education or I think about how somewhere in the world, there was a person who didn't get the opportunity to wake up that morning. This habit can be both negative and positive but, when I sit back and reflect on all the negativity in the world, I feel a sense of gratefulness for the life I have. I believe that if someone has the opportunity to be happy, they shouldn’t hold back on that feeling. I feel like it's way better to see our lives as something to cherish and live it to our fullest potential. On the other hand, I also understand that telling someone to be happy is easier said than done. In instances similar to Henry’s, it may be hard to view life more positively. People who go through hardships often feel helpless and don’t usually know what to do. In the end, everyone is different, and the way they perceive the world can be completely different than the way I do. There’s a saying that “you can’t make someone happy if they choose not to be” and in my opinion, it's true. If someone chooses to continue through their lives negatively, I’m sure they wouldn’t enjoy it. In other words, be grateful for the things you already have and take action to pursue greater happiness. 

3.  Favourite line/image:

   This might seem weird to pick as a favourite but, I like the line, “my mother, poor fish, always smiling, wanting to appear happy…” At first glance, I found it odd how Henry talked about his mother then abruptly about his fish. I had to reread over the poem a couple of times to see the significance between the two. In my interpretation, I think Bukowski tries to explain how both Henry’s mother and fish aren’t able to smile. Fish are not able to show any emotion and let alone smile. On the other hand, regardless of the fact that Henry’s mother is always forcing him to smile and also trying her best to show him how to, through Henry’s eyes she was truly never able to smile. Due to this fact, he says “my mother, poor fish” because he feels bad both for them. I would also like to think that the poem’s title contradicts itself because the “smile to remember” was that there was never an actual one. I also found the metaphor between the mother and pet fish clever. I like to think that at the end, when Henry’s father threw the dead fishes to the cat without any remorse, I thought this event mirrored the way Henry’s father treated his family without any care. The way the fish still had their eyes open reflected the way Henry’s mom was sort of frozen in time and unable to do anything but smile when her husband beat her. This poem is a very sad one and seems simple and straightforward at first glance. After picking it apart and analyzing it, I enjoyed being able to find these small connections and interpret the meaning of each word to my own liking. 

5.  Personal connections: 

    A personal connection I can make to this poem is to the way Henry’s mother tries very hard to keep smiling despite the poor circumstances that her and Henry are in. This connection isn’t to the same extent of becoming in denial of what is going on like Henry’s mother but there are times when I try to avoid certain feelings and make it seem like it doesn’t affect me. I personally don’t like crying in front of people because 1) as I grew up, I was told to “suck it up, buttercup” and 2) it was a sign of weakness in my eyes. When I was younger, I would especially try to hide my tears whenever I got hurt around my friends. There was this one time in elementary school when I jumped down 5 steps on stairs on my way to the gym for an assembly ( just to seem cool) and landed on my ankle wrong. I inevitably fell, and everyone crowded around me asking if I was okay. At this moment, I tried to laugh it off and continue as if nothing happened but when I stood up, my ankle throbbed with pain. To be honest, it hurt like hell and I remember laughing while limping all the way to the office to avoid thinking about the pain (It was sprained). This reminded me of how Henry’s mother always smiled, even when her husband beat almost daily. In my interpretation of the poem, I thought she did this for Henry, to make herself seem strong like the way I wanted to look cool with my friends. I also believe she did it to trick yourself into thinking everything was okay, this is similar to how I started laughing to avoid thinking about the pain in my ankle. I can connect and understand why Henry’s mother acts the way she does in this poem because of our (somewhat) similar experiences.

[lilaniem]

Lilanie, Celine and Jared’s Documentary

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPZWCBI9ugc&feature=youtu.be

[lilaniem]

Distance Learning Assignment 1: Themes in The Lovely Bones BY Alice Sebold- Chapter 1-4

                                                                                Lilanie Montoya

     In reading the first four chapters of Alice Sebold’s The Lovely Bones, I wasn’t really sure what to expect. I had no prior knowledge on what the book was about other than the fact that it was building up a pile of dust on my bookshelf. By reading the first couple chapters, the themes of tragedy (death), grief, family, love, reminiscence and longing (desire) were quite clear. The theme of death or rather, the tragic murder of Susie Salmon was announced in the very first sentence of the novel. Her death was a more general theme which tied all the other ones together.

      The theme of grief is key within the novel. After her death, everyone who knew Susie had dealt with the loss in various ways. For example, Susie’s murderer continued living as if nothing had happened, which in my opinion shows how much of a psychopath he truly is. Susie’s parents were a wreck, which I believe is the way any other parent would react if it were their own child put in this situation. Susie’s sister, Lindsey, tries to lock away all her emotions and isolate herself. Clarissa, Susie’s best friend, also avoids the topic and spends more time with her boyfriend. This theme allowed me to gain a stronger understanding on the way people act. I recognize how much of an impact the death of someone close to you can affect others. I am fortunate to have no experience with dealing with the death of someone who I was personally close with. Through analyzing the theme of grief, I’ve come to understand how heartbreaking this sort of experience truly is. I’ve learned how chaotic and different the circumstances are and even in the midst of all of it, it is always better to lean on your loved ones or someone you trust. It’s also good to recognize that it's normal to grieve in different ways as long as you are able to heal and move on with your life.

         Another theme I want to focus on is the theme of love — specifically the love between a parent and their child. After Susie’s death, her father goes rampant and smashes all the bottled ships which he has worked tirelessly on for years. He speaks to himself saying, “Susie, my baby, my little sailor girl” as he reminisces the times that she has helped him build some of the boats when no one else would find interest in doing so. He then goes to Susie’s room and breaks down crying. Buckley, Susie’s 4 year old brother comes into the room and hugs him. They both sit on the floor as her father reminisces and Buckley holds onto him as support. A line I really liked that Susie said to describe what she saw happen was that it was “something so divine that no one up in heaven could have made it up; the care a child took with an adult.” Another example of this type of love is shown in the various times Susie longs for her mother. Up in Susie’s perfect heaven, anything she desires is able to appear, but there are still some limits. Even though she is able to get anything she wants, nothing compares to how much she misses her mother. This theme makes me think about my own relationship with my parents. It makes me realize how I sometimes take them for granted and that I should cherish every single moment with them because you never know when they can be taken away from you. This theme allows the viewers to reflect on their own family and resonate with them. This connection allowed me to empathize this situation and understand everyone’s feelings.

[lilaniem]

Life of Waiting

I am waiting,

For what feels like an eternity

I am waiting for my first friend

For the first school that I will attend

I am waiting,

To get picked up by my parents, crying and whining throughout the day

More excited to be home and to play

I am waiting for so much more,

It’s calling my name

We’ve been waiting

Like how the moon waits for the sun to set,

I am waiting,

I am waiting for the sun to rise again

For the wild lark to sing

Signalling the lonely night to end

and I am waiting for the Age of Anxiety to drop dead

And for the day

depression won’t be so common

Like everyone has said

The vast world awaits me,

It’s calling my name

We’ve been waiting

I am waiting for the words on my textbook page to make sense

And for the broken record of my school days to finally end

I am waiting,

I have been waiting for a long time,

Sometimes patiently

Sometimes I whine

For the day when my friends and I get to walk out of these cramped corridors

With our hands intertwined

For the night of our graduation,

When my new journey is in mind

This new world awaits me,

The last school bell chimes,

We’ve been waiting

A lot of time has passed

A new world of adulthood is here

So many possibilities and opportunities

But I am still waiting here,

Waiting for the job of my dreams

And for the special person who will be

My lover and best friend

My soulmate

I am waiting

For the day God decides to bless us with children

Who will be little reflections of us

The children that will complete our family

I am waiting

This new world awaits me,

It’s almost time,

We’ve been waiting

Its funny, you see

All my life I’ve been waiting

But suddenly I feel like I’m running out of time

Like my life had ended in a blink of an eye

These bones have begun to creak

My body has gotten very weak

Is it a crime to ask for more time?

It's not as easy as asking for a nickel or a dime,

I have some regrets

But there are things I will never forget

My life was so full of love and full cries

I know I won’t ever forget my daughter’s eyes

I will finally rise

Like the sun after an eternity’s rest.

I’m out of breath,

A vast world awaits me

It has called my name countless times,

Now it's time

I have waited

[lilaniem]

The Eighth Of September  BY: Pablo Neruda

Lilanie Montoya

Themes-

In Pablo Neruda’s The Eighth Of September, based on the way one would interpret the poem, it seems like there are two lovers who are having sex then find out they will be having a child. Some themes I see in this interpretation of the poem are: love, creation, passion, power.

The theme of love can be interpreted through the line, “lifted us up in a kiss so exalted we trembled.” The word kiss can be associated with love and the word trembled is used to describe how one feels and reacts to a kiss.  Through the line, “and bound as one, fell, and drowned, without being unbound,” one can assume the lovers fell deep in love with one another because of the words “bound as one” and fell without being unbounded. The line that uses the metaphor of “meteor’s flame” can be used to describe the fire and spark connection between lovers. 

The theme of creation can be interpreted through the line, “A strange door opened, between us, and someone, with no face as yet, waited for us there” since it can be portrayed as there being a new life born. The fact that the whole poem uses metaphors and similes that compare the passion between the two lovers through acts of God’s natural disasters displays creation as a theme throughout the poem.

Passion is also a theme itself. Like I had previously stated, the use of natural disasters to compare the relationship between the two people in the poem allows the viewers to understand the immeasurable feelings they have for one another.

The theme of power helped me understand the poem better since the writer used words such as “immense” “waves” “lightning” and “meteor.” All of these words describe intense experiences and forces. The poet uses this theme to illustrate the power and intense relationship these two lovers have.

Do you agree or disagree with the poem?  

     I agree with this poem. The way I had interpreted The Eighth of September to be about the passionate love between two lovers. In the poem, the writer uses nature to compare the fierce relationship between these two people. Although, this poem is written in a way that one may depict the lovers to be very physical with one another, I see it becoming something beyond just their physical relation. The line, “A strange door opened, between us, and someone, with no face as yet, waited for us there” can be interpreted as the “someone, with no face yet” being a child, but another way to see it is as a new love between them budding. After having sex, I believe it is impossible to not feel any emotional connection. I agree with the idea that love is full of passion for one another. This poem can also be interpreted to make the audience believe that love can withstand any obstacle. Through all the chaos within these lovers' relationships, the final line gives a sense of calmness. I agree with this poem’s interpretation as well. As cliche as it sounds,  I believe that if you truly love someone, your love for one another will prevail. Some people may disagree, and I can understand why they would since I’m still pretty young and inexperienced with the idea of love, for now, I agree that through the obstacles that couples may face, as long as there’s proper reciprocation and communication, the calmness after the storm will always await them. 

 Jot down and respond to a favourite line or favourite image.  What specifically do you like about the poem? Be specific, pay attention to beautiful words, phrases and language.

       One of my favourite things I liked about the poem was the intense use of metaphors the writer had used to convey his story. Some may argue that The Eighth of September is too cryptic to even understand which is why they dislike it, but I believe that this fact is one of its most beautiful and fun aspects. I like the fact that everyone can have a different perspective and take on what the poem is about. I enjoy seeing things from a new point of view and I’m really open to these interpretations. My favourite line from the poem is “This day, the storm-driven ocean lifted us up in a kiss.” I like this line because I found the imagery of “the storm- driven ocean” to be personified to be like a kiss to be very beautiful. I had interpreted this poem to be about lovers who are full of emotion and are in the midst of going the next level and having sex. The poet writes about chaotic events in nature and I find the comparison very fitting to the emotions they may be feeling. The ocean lifting up in a kiss is like saying these two crashed together like a wave in a storm. A weird connection I made to this line was the movie Titanic, Jack and Rose’s love took course on board the ship. Their story was an example of love’s deep emotion and chaos at times. I liked how this line made me think of this connection to one of world’s most famous cinematic romance movies. 

 Personal connections-

      I cannot personally connect to this poem since I’ve never been in love before or been in any sort of relationship like this. A connection I can make to The Eighth of September is through the relationships around me or even through the romance movies and stories I’ve seen. I’ve witnessed a fair share of happy endings to relationships, as well as bad ones. All couples face many obstacles and hardships whether it's on a movie screen or in my own home. Like Jake and Rose on the Titanic, Rose’s family disliked Jack because of his lower class, but that didn’t stop them from seeing each other. Although they had ended because of another opposing force, they loved one another up until the very end. Another example is my own parents. There are times when they fight and argue but I still know they love each other very much. All couples meet trials and tribulations but it's all in the matter of how they work together and face them, when they can truly prosper.

[lilaniem]

Eulogy To A Hell Of A Dame BY: Charles Bukowski

Lilanie Montoya

Theme-what themes do you notice in the poem-explain how the themes contribute to your understanding of the poem

Some themes in Charles Bukoski’s Eulogy To A Hell Of A Dame are death, reminiscence (memory), loss and love. One of the themes that I hadn’t noticed at first but helped me view the poem from an entirely different perspective was love. After I had first read through the Eulogy To A Hell Of A Dame, I thought the poem was just another sad story about a man who is wallowing in his sorrows about a random girl he missed. This idea isn’t entirely wrong but it wasn’t until I reanalyzed the poem to see it from a more positive point of view. As the audience, we are put in the point of view of a man who is reminiscing (another theme) about a woman named Jane. Some lines that helped me realize love’s presence in this poem were:

“you've been dead

28 years

yet I remember you

better than any of

the rest”

Through this line, I finally understood that this wasn’t some “random girl” this man was missing but it was a woman who was rather important to him since he hadn’t forgotten her after all this time she’s been gone. Typically, a few years after someone you’ve known has passed away, you begin to forget the small things about them, like how they looked, smelled or even sounded like. For 28 years, Jane has been dead and the writer still remembers her better than any other woman he’s met. Through the first couple of lines, he describes how she looked and how she acted like with detail, exemplifying the impact she’s made in his memories.

“you were the only one”

This line made me think about love. Whether it is a romantic love or not, the line “you were the only one” essentially isolates you from the rest of the group. This means you are special and important. This is when I recognized the writer’s love for Jane. Yes, it may be sad that she has passed away but in the end, these two were able to love. The poet’s love with Jane is a beautiful memory that this man was able to experience and cherish as he reminisces. This is a positive aspect to the poem which I recognized and helped better my understanding.

 Do you agree or disagree with the poem? Explain your thinking.

“you were the only one who understood the futility of the arrangement of

life”

No, I do not agree with this part of the poem but, I do understand where this line is coming from. There are times when I do reflect on my life and feel as though everything I do is useless. Sometimes I feel discouraged to live in a world where there is so much suffering and cruelty, too. Death is inevitable but I believe the journey before our deaths are what makes our lives meaningful. Even though I have all these doubts, I disagree with the idea that we should just give up on the path society has laid for us. I believe that our lives are our own and we can decide how we live them. I believe that we have the opportunity to decide between whether we would like to follow society’s path or make it your own. In the end, it is way better to see our lives as something to cherish and live it to our fullest potential. I may not know why I was put on this earth, but I sure do know that I don’t want to spend my time here negatively. From my childhood to the present, I’ve always been taught and began to believe that there is a reason for everything. I hope that along my journey I’ll be able to find that reason. 

 Jot down and respond to a favourite line or favourite image. What specifically do you like about the poem? Be specific, pay attention to beautiful words, phrases and language.

My favourite line from the poem is the very last one which says,

“here's a drink to your bones that this dog still dreams about.”

I liked how this metaphor is made at the beginning and end of the poem. I found the imagery of a dog dreaming about bones a very fitting comparison to the man who is still deeply in love with Jane. Both comparisons describe a very passionate love. Similar to a dog who loves bones very much, the writer almost yearns for Jane, who is nothing but a memory. After reading to the end of the poem, I understand the writer's love and loss for Jane. The final line made me recognize how much he desires to be with her again. Like a dog who dreams about bones; a craving which they have all day and night, the poet clings onto this memory of Jane and thinks about her all the time. When I read this line, I imagine a sad scene of a drunk man alone at a bar raising his glass to make a toast to his deceased lover. Even though it is a sad scene to imagine, I find it tragically beautiful to think about how much the writer loves this woman, almost giving me a bittersweet feeling.

Personal connections-is there any way in which you relate to anything in the poem?  

A personal connection I can make to this poem is in the theme of reminiscence and memory. Within the Eulogy To A Hell of A Dame, the writer reminisces about his lover who passed away 28 years ago. In the lines, “I remember your bones in flesh and best in that dark green dress and those high-heeled bright black shoes, you always cursed when you drank, your hair coming down you wanted to explode out of what was holding you: rotten memories of a rotten past...you've been dead 28 years yet I remember you better than any of the rest”, the writer is able to remember Jane very vividly and speaks about her flaws with a sense of admiration. This is what makes her existence so memorable and lovable to the writer. Like the poet, I can remember certain events of my past that have been both good and bad. A connection I can make with this theme is to an event that happened when I was child. A memory I reminisce about is when it rained on my brother’s birthday which we were celebrating at a park. At first, the day seemed to be ruined since all the food and guests were getting wet. Suddenly, all my cousins and I started to chase each other around in the rain. It was so fun that even after the rain stopped, my family and I still splashed each other with water guns. I can remember this event very clearly and although there had been an inconvenience, it wouldn’t have become the same memory that I cherish to this day. Like the writer who reminisces about his lover, her flaws and imperfections make up who she is. Without them, she wouldn’t be the same. Just like Jane, my memory wouldn’t have been so memorable if this inconvenience hadn’t happened.