lilaquadatsch - Tumblr blog

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I’ve been waiting a year to post this

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Wade really said, "Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just wanna go apesht?"

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Laios works part-time at a grocery store and is a mildly successful twitch streamer and one time this really fucking hot shirtless dude wanders into frame and everyone on Laios' chat starts freaking out like WHO THE FUCK IS THAT- HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MAN SO BEAUTIFUL YOU STARTED CRYING- LAIOS THERES A HOT DUDE THERE- and Laios is like ahahah that's my friend Kabru! He sometimes comes over after the gym to take a shower while I make him dinner! He loves my food! And everyone in chat is like LAIOS ARE YOU STUPID- LAIOS FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK- LAIOS HES AFTER ANOTHER KIND OF MEAT- and Laios is a little bit offended like. No! He's just nice! Don't be mean you'll make him uncomfortable!

And then someone recognizes Kabru like "OH SHIT I SAW HIS FOUR PARTER ON ART AND MENTAL ILLNESS IT MADE ME CRY" and they dig up his SMs and he's like. A political commentator and activist/youtuber who speaks like 9 languages and has an history degree despite being like 22 and is working towards an anthropology degree now and pays the bills by being a fucking. Fashion model and there's INSANE photoshoots of him in all sort of artsy high fashion pictures in b&w like covered in bloodied bandages in BDSM gear dressed like a priest etc etc interspersed with like very good thinkpieces on consumerism and art and politics and the very rare YouTube 4-parters on random subjects with INCREDIBLE visuals and everyone is like what the fuck. What the FUCK Laios how do you even KNOW this dude and Laios is like he kept showing up at the grocery store during my turn and asking for ideas on what to make for dinner and one guy in chat asks but aren't you usual on at nighttime and he's like yeah it was like 3am for the most part and everyone is like LAIOS PLEASE

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Abends, halb 11 in Deutschland.

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Vinsmoke Sora if she wasn't fucking around

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My dad has bees. Today, I went to his house and he showed me all the honey he had gotten from the hives. He took the lid off a 5-gallon bucket full of honey and on top of the honey there were 3 little bees, struggling. They were covered in sticky honey and drowning. I asked him if we could help them and he said he was sure they wouldn't survive. Casualties of honey collection I suppose.

I asked him again if we could at least get them out and kill them quickly, after all he was the one who taught me to put a suffering animal (or bug) out of its misery. He finally conceded and scooped the bees out of the bucket. He put them in an empty Chobani yogurt container and put the plastic container outside.

Because he had disrupted the hive with the earlier honey collection, there were bees flying all over outside.

We put the 3 little bees in the container on a bench and left them to their fate. My dad called me out a little while later to show me what was happening. These three little bees were surrounded by all their sisters (all of the bees are females) and they were cleaning the sticky nearly dead bees, helping them to get all of the honey off of their bodies. We came back a short time later and there was only one little bee left in the container. She was still being tended to by her sisters.

When it was time for me to leave, we checked one last time and all three of the bees had been cleaned off enough to fly away and the container was empty.

Those three little bees lived because they were surrounded by family and friends who would not give up on them, family and friends who refused to let them drown in their own stickiness and resolved to help until the last little bee could be set free.

Bee Sisters. Bee Peers. Bee Teammates.

We could all learn a thing or two from these bees.

Bee kind always.

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GV200 on my mind

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me, writing my fic: Logan chooses not to be a teacher when he goes back to the mansion because the trauma of being responsible for innocent children and not being able to protect them in their time of need truly haunts him to the core. He chooses axillary professions that are purely supportive: the groundkeeper, the mechanic for the danger room, the maintence tech for the dorms. He chooses jobs of creation and repair to soothe his mind, because he's so used to destroying and he wants a different life in this world Wade gifted to him

also me while writing the fic: I'm gonna make him wear a HOT little mechanic jumpsuit that have his TEETAS JUMP OUT and make him GLISTEN with sweat and chop wood with his veins POPPIN

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Thinking about Gabby becoming Wade's. As in, Everyone knows that Laura is a copy and paste of Logan. Meanwhile, Gabby lowkey takes after her stepdad.

He's such a girl dad. Their family consits of 3 little girls and all three of them yell "Yay!" When Wade asks "Who wants to commit a murder?!"

Logan not only has Gabby but also Ellie now, and you know damn well he's being forced to paint his nails and play WWE in the same hour with these two, sometimes by oppisite girls. And he doesn't mind at all.

I HC she's from a hook up during the time Vanessa and Wade were broken up. He honestly didn't think there would be any consequences, and now he has the best daughter ever. (Who's favorite hero is CANONICALLY The Wolverine and owns a shit ton of Spiderman merch) If you know the lore, you know what happens with Carmelita Camacho, if not, look up Eleanor Camacho, Deadpool's Biological daughter.

Wade with Ellie:

You can not tell me that these three wouldn't have been the bestest sisters ever!! Technically, Ellies is the youngest, being like 9. Gabbys 13 and Lauras upwards of 22 by now.

Wade with Gabby:

I just know that these two are a NIGHTMARE at parent teacher conferences.

Wade: *grabs him by the tie and threatens his life* Okay bye Scott! And don't you ever give my daughter detention ever again!!

Scott: *blinks* But she keeps stabbing people...

Wade: And that's her god-given right! Isn't it Gabs?

Gabby: YEAH!

Meanwhile, Logan with Ororo-

Ororo: It seems that Miss Ellie is very..... Creative...

Logan: *raises eyebrow*

Ororo: *gestures to Ellie happily colouring on the wall a massive fight scene with her dads, spiderman, and a bunch of other heros*

Logan: Oh, so thats what happened to their bedroom wall... *is secretly proud*

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Wisst ihr was der Hammer ist?

Ein Werkzeug.

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headcanons about logan and his new mother in law

outright refuses ro call her blind al and looks at wade like he grew a third nostril when he hears her referred to as such, “what happened to althea?”, “she was althea because i was being as the children say, very mindful, she’s blind al because i’m real af. no cap”, logan just stares

when he gets settled and gets a real look at the apartment and the unorganized mountainload of weapons just lying around for althea’s precious, fragile bones to crack on, he went full Super Mom mode and cleaned the house top to bottom, he went to crate & barrel and bought 20 crates and labels just to organize all of the guns, the grenades, the knives, the baby knives, and wall holders for the katanas, she was NOT getting hurt on his watch

from the second he hears house shoes feet shuffling into the living room he’s up with his arm ready for her to latch on to, “she doesn’t need that you know”, “shut up, mouth”, “hush wade, he’s being a gentlemen”, when logan sticks his tongue out at wade behind her back she taps his arm with her free hand, “that wasn’t nice” because of course she has eyes on the back of her head

he made a 3 AM lasagna one time when wade was out on a mission and al awoke to the smell of garlic bread and wandered into the kitchen, from then on whenever logan couldn’t sleep he made some sort of pasta for the house but mainly for him and al to share if they were both awake in the middle of the night

he and althea talk about the old days. a lot. they watch tv together. a lot. she’s family to him now.

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The other day I was dying laughing at the thought of Zoro (first time feeling attraction) talking to Luffy (never felt attraction in his life) about his feelings for Sanji and them coming up with a wildly incorrect assumption about what's happening

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random headcanons about wade’s social media presence because of ONE line from deadpool 1 about weasel seeing wade’s IG shenanigans

deadpool and wade have separate IG accounts, just for safety, he can regenerate, not everyone in his life can

however comma, anyone rubbing two brain cells together can figure out who’s behind the mask because he can’t help being himself, so @notdeadpool is verified whereas @wolverpeenlover69 is not, but the two accounts share the same humor and posting style

deadpool is infamous for getting banned from live usually for breaking guidelines, balancing his hello kitty bong on his head? Banned, accidentally stabbing himself while doing knife tricks? banned, too many swear words when he can’t find something he wanted to show his viewers? banned, it’s kind of a meme at this point

constantly rants about how he wants to be an influencer but brands don’t want to work with him because he’s, “bad for business”, when rihanna reaches out to logan to model for savage fenty he tries not to be too hurt, “it’s okay peanut, i’d wanna lather you up in oil and send you parading down a catwalk in silk panties too”

ironically. wade himself becomes popular online for his ridiculous doodles of random situations, he lowkey becomes an online comic illustrator, is not offered brand deals but does have a teeny base of loyal followers with the same frontal lobe developed middle school humor

deadpool can always be found doing tiktok dances, there’s a whole tag on the clock app dedicated to people spotting a wild deadpool filming himself outside of various restaurants while waiting for a mid mission snack

deadpool’s page is surprisingly clear of blood and carnage, at least clear enough to not have his account removed from the site, but he knows the girls, gays and the theys love him in the suit so… he does post thirst traps in the suit, he knows what he gives, “real sentient blood red dildo vibe, ya know? very junglejim4322@yahoo.com if you catch my drift”

deadpool follows 420 people, he’s very specific about that number, 10 of those accounts are wolverine fanpages

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I NEED more Poolverstorm content!

MY TIME HAS COME!

minute ororo shows up Wade is instantly obsessed. It’s not even romantic at first, — man’s saw how badass, caring, compassionate , patient, powerful, capable and brave she was and immediately went ‘new bestie acquired’

Will never stop bullying Logan for not choosing her since day one. Sir. If you think Wade’s gonna let him fumble the same bag twice you are MISTAKEN—-

Every interaction they have shortens Logan’s immortality (his bisexual senses are tingling and he needs 2-7 business days to recover)

One of Logan’s favorite memories from childhood is snowball fighting, sledding, — everything involving winter.

Wade likes autumn because it gets him one step closer to Halloween and he can finally order the pumpkin mega blast from Starbucks without feeling guilty. Ororo makes both happen specifically

WADE MAKES HER LAUGH!!! SO MUCH!!!!

Whenever someone asks Logan why he puts up with it, he just shrugs, “He makes her laugh.” (He’s so in love with Wade it makes him look stupid)

Wade had to plan an entire thing to ask Roro out. It was supposed to be extremely extravagant and complicated and grandiose, but, Logan went to Ororo instead, cheeks slightly flushed, and groaned something like, “Idiot’s just trying to impress you. Just…Don’t laugh too much? “

She already planned on accepting it, but she’ll indulge them.

Roro starts wearing Logan’s dog tags once they start going out. Wade basically steals everything from shirts to belt buckles, boots, tank tops, some of her necklaces, scarves, heels

Wade being slightly insecure about taking off his mask around them. At least at first. He tries to accept and adapt, — but it’s hard, when dating the prettiest people in the entire world! After Hugh Jackman, at least.

Ororo gently kissing his bare cheek one day, — maybe he lost his mask while trying to clean, or maybe Laura took it for her and Ellie’s play pretend games. She gets right and Logan gets left. “I like this face.”

“Yeah. Well.” He laughs because he’ll cry if he doesn’t, “you’ve always had a thing for weirdos.”

“Shut up, bub.”

“Okay, fine! Hot weirdos.”

Wade explaining how they call marry Roro legally if they kidnap the pope:

Logan is their GUARD DOG!!! Missions? One breath away from their neck. Claws out and ready. Shopping? Arms crossed, scowl on, daring someone to bother them while Wade tries to justify a 400 dollar Lego pruchase.

“My darling. No.”

“But it’s the WOLVERINE collection, Ro!”

Ororo sighs and gives Logan a Look. “Talk some sense into your husband, please?”

“When he’s annoying he’s YOUR husband.”

Blind Al and Ororo? Best of friends. Mother in law/awesome wife who loves her weird ass sons. Would test Ororo at first, like, “You can have everyone in this world and you pick those two? Why?”

“Wisdom has been chasing them but those two can run.”

“…Come sit next to me. You like cocaine?”

“Um—“

“OOOkay, — mushy introductions over, Laura, grab Mary, we’re LEAVING—“

LAURA ELLIE KITTY JUBILEE MOMMY DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP WHEN!!!

Wade seeing how gentle Ororo is with the kids while still being firm, getting them in line when they don’t listen, but wrangling them expertly?

Ellie actually,,, ate her vegetables? Laura didn’t stab anyone over doing the dishes? Jubilee actually goes to sleep before 6 am?

“We have GOT to get her pregnant.”

Logan is so fucking tired. “I don’t think there’s a cure for whatever you’re on.”

“Alright, FINE. Get ME pregnant then.”

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Logan being a father because my brain will physically melt if I don’t talk about him:

— Hates pop music; He puts up with it when Bobby blasts it at full volume in his car because he’s a weak worm of a man for the kid’s puppy eyes.

— Realized he was humming “California Girls” in the middle of a supermarket and had a silent panic attack in the dairy aisle.

— Kitty and Jubilee definetly watch trash vampire/werewolf tv shows and Logan “subtly” watches with them. Takes about 10 walks through the living room. Stands next to the couch with his arms crossed like a scarecrow. “I’m just grabbing something from the kitchen.”

— Is either super chill about everything or extremely unhinged. No in between. “Hey I’m gonna hunt down and fight Sabertooth because Jubilee dared me to”

“Have fun. Be home at 9.”

“Also,,, Ive been thinking of getting Tinder—“

“Are you fucking insane.”

— Logan is smart, okay? He is. It’s just that teachers have a TALENT for making parents completely confused with their math. He’s been staring at Laura’s paper for 20 minutes trying to recognize this formula. Nothing.

— “They did NOT have this when I was a kid.” “Yeah, we kinda progressed from sticks and rocks, Lo.” “Shut up, smartass! This is ridiculous! MATH IS MATH!”

— The kids texting Logan: [literally the most unhinged thing you’ve ever read in your life]

— Logan: 👍

— He FEELS when one of them needs a nap. He’ll pretend to sleep on the couch (Logan never, ever sleeps in open spaces, not if he can help it, not if he can’t trust.) and Laura will burrow under his hoodie or shirt like a baby cat.

— Bobby likes to simply jump on him. Especially from behind, for piggyback rides. He has no idea why Scott always looked so flabbergasted and surprised. And slightly afraid.

— Jubilee won’t admit it, but, she likes holding his hand when they’re walking down the street. Even if he always fixes her collar and tells her to straighten her shrimp posture.

— kitty falling asleep on Logan’s shoulder on the jet is something that can be so personal. Logan who absolutely hates flying but will shut up and let his half pint nap on him all she wants :((

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logan gets so used to wade's chattering that once wade stops he actually craves for it and immediately thinks something's wrong.

one morning he's making breakfast and wade appears next to him, bumps his forehead against logan's temple lightly and says "mornin'" before going straight to the bathroom. no slapping his ass, no peppering kisses to his face, no loud and annoying nonsense, not even a good morning and all logan could think about is oh he doesn't like me anymore, he's tired of me, he's gonna kick me out soon but all that left his mouth in the end is "the fuck is wrong with you?"