lilchicknugg - Tumblr blog

[lilchicknugg]

i don’t like spending time with him. when i’m with him i feel nothing. there’s no spark or butterflies in my stomach like what i read about in my books. i’m there and he’s there but we aren’t talking because he’s off talking to everyone else but me, so i do the same. even if i wanted to talk to him i wouldn’t know what to say because i don’t know him. at all. just like he doesn’t know anything about me. for my birthday, he got me a harry potter funko pop and i appreciated the gesture so much and it was really sweet…but i never told him i liked funko pops, or harry potter for that matter. everything he knows about me he learns through other people because for some reason he doesn’t like talking to me yet he likes to keep me around. almost as though he only wants to show off our relationship. every milestone, every big thing that happens between us, always does so in front of his friends. and i absolutely hate it (which he’d know if he actually knew me). it also makes me feel as if he’s doing it for more them and not for me which makes it meaningless to me. for valentines, he gave me a bouquet of flowers (my first one ever!) but he brought his friends along…for whatever reason. he came up for a handshake for us but he did it all by himself and i had no input in it and then he let us do it in front of the guy he doesn’t like me hanging out with.

i feel like the more i hang out with him, the more i dislike him each time. i have so many reasonable expectations— for him to talk to me and have a conversation, for him to listen to what i say, for him not to insult me— yet he fails meet them. he was sick one time and wasn’t feeling well, naturally i was trying to ask him what was wrong but his first instinct was to blow my head off. he told me i was a mess and made some sarcastic remark about me not combing my hair that day. another time, he told me my hair was messy again and said that my sister had better hair than me. he doesn’t like when my bangs are out, i gathered. but tough shit because i do. he also doesn’t like telling me things, like anything at all. he’ll tell other people of course but God forbid he tells me something right. one time i was sat there, asking him to tell me why he didn’t like my friend but he wouldn’t tell me. then he went around and told two other people. two people who he barely talks to but obviously deems more important than me to confide in. then for the rest of the night we didn’t talk but he talked to my sister and introduced her to his friends while i sat on the side (again). all i know is, whatever he wants with me, i want no part of it.

February 20, 2024 (Tuesday) 12:00 AM

[lilchicknugg]

You have the purest parts of my heart, and I’m certain that in every alternate universe, I’m always, always in love with you.

[lilchicknugg]

things no one knows about me:

- i am a reader :) i read strictly romance books only but i read every chance i get. my love for books in infinite and i hope to one day own the physical copies of all the books i’ve read and have a large yet cozy library in my victorian style home

- i love listening to rock music— some memorable mentions are bullet for my valentine, papa roach, adelita’s way, and seether (ofc)— but i am also obsessed with listening to one direction! (they are quite possibly my favorite band and if they ever have a reunion i will die happily)

- my main goal in life is to travel the world and go on all sorts of adventures but mainly its so that i can find rad cliffs and jump off them!

- even though i dont like to make/have friends, i want nothing more than to be accepted by my classmates and not feel like an unlikable outcast

- i always feel as though i am unwanted which is why i want to be someone’s first choice

- contrary to what my friends believe, i am a ginormous (yucky) romantic at heart. its part of the reason why i love reading so much— bc i love the feeling of reading about two people falling in love and seeing their intimate moments and experiencing their journey as their relationship progresses into what it is. i absolutely love love and in another lifetime where i’m not so closed off and private, i would love to be in a relationship.

- i only look/act intimidating so that i don’t get bullied/rejected by my peers. its not so much that i care about they think about me (bc i dont) but i would just rather avoid all that u know?

- i never talk about my weight bc i am extremely insecure about it given i have a twin sister who is 10 pounds lighter than i am

- i dont make a habit of sharing (anything) about my life to other people bc i figure when they leave it wouldn’t be fair for them to know all these personal and intimate details about me.

- i love legos! i copy everything my dad does and likes so naturally i also picked up his obsession with legos. fun fact:i recently bought a new lego set which is the Daily Bugle with 3,000+ pieces. i’ve been wanting it since it came out in 2021 so i was really excited when i bought it 2 months ago!

- i want my parents, my mom more so, to pay attention to me. to want to know about my life and who i am as a person. to listen to me when i talk. to want to spend time with me and do things with me not just for me.

- i wear glasses! i actually love my glasses they bring me a sense of comfort. fun fact: my eye grade is 250/50 so i actually really do need to wear my glasses otherwise i’ll get cross eyed lol

- i dont mean to be a snob im just incredibly shy and socially awkward

- i tend to go off the grid whenever im going through something. i just don’t have the capacity to have to think about what i say around other people. not to mention, the thought alone puts me in an even more irritable mood. it’s just best for me to be completely and peacefully alone with my own thoughts

July 3, 2023 (Monday) 6:38 PM

[lilchicknugg]

things that make me happy:

- reading romance books…oh how i love love love my books! theyre the best part of my day.

- listening to nice songs as i lay in bed or go about my day. there are just some songs that i love more than myself.

- halloween themes

- jumping around

- dancing in the shower with cold water blasting on me

- spending time with my family…sometimes

- the idea that one day i’ll fulfill my super fucking awesome bucket list!

- being alone/ not talking to anyone

- talking to myself

- cold temperatures + cozy clothes and blankets

- when my bed feels like a hotel bed. sometimes i just really need those vibes

- fresh air

- smelling good/feeling soft after showers. i dont know but it just makes me so happy.

- nice hair days. need i say more.

- lighters. something about holding it and igniting the flame is so comforting to me

- building legos! i love legos so much. my biggest set as of now is the hogwarts castle from harry potter with exactly 6,020 pieces. i have yet to build it but when my family’s new house gets finished building i’ll finally have the space to build the hundreds of lego sets my dad bought.

- learning spanish (when im not tired)

- sending/receiving emails. there’s something so special about it that makes me love it so much but no one uses email for personal matters anymore which i find so sad.

- organizing. in a way it makes me feel like i have control over some aspects of my life.

- taking walks around my ginormous school…but only when im alone

- drinking tea in my living room as the sun’s out and it’s windy. it makes me feel as though im actually living and enjoying life.

- physical touch (only from people i like). even though im deathly afraid of it, to me, physical touch in any way in so intimate and loving that it makes me feel all warm inside when it does happen.

- people who i can talk to without constantly having to filter myself or give great thought into what im about to say

- chocolate cake. i am obsessed with chocolate cake i’ll eat it any form or shape. they make me so indescribably happy.

- receiving (unexpected) compliments. as u can tell, im extremely attention deprived so any compliment really just makes my day.

- chicky! my emotional support stuffed duck who i hug every night as i go to sleep

- my website!! a while back i made a simple html coded website that acts as a journal of all the books i have ever read along with my rating for it and nothing beats the feeling of adding another book into the roster. as of now, my review/thoughts about my books are up on a twitter account i made specifically to talk about my books but one day (when im not lazy) i’ll create a page layout where i can insert my reviews about books.

- grilled cheese sandwiches. wowowowow how i loove grilled cheeses. theyre an all time favorite food!

- living rooms! no matter what house im staying in, i always always hang out in the living room and theyre especially great in afternoon bc i love the atmosphere where the sun is shining and its slightly warm out

- pool/beach days :) i love everything about them—the sun, the water, swimming. if i could live in the water, i would!

- the feeling of sun shining on me

- sushi. i am actually obsessed with sushi and will eat it for every single meal if left unchecked.

- anything fuzzy really. fuzzy blankets, socks, shoes, headbands. despite what everyone says about it being too hot, its my favorite material!

- fandoms. i love seeing other people geek around and be equally excited about certain tv shows and movies as me. its such a nice feeling and makes me feel bonded to them especially when its about a rather niche fandom.

- freshly baked cookies

- when people ask the right questions about me

- random acts of kindness. not just to me, but experiencing it around me as well is such a beautiful thing

- tumblr and reddit :) i love anonymous apps and how everyone is so real about themselves. there aren’t any facades and pretentiousness.

July 2, 2023 (Sunday)

[lilchicknugg]

to commemorate me being on tumblr heres a questionnaire i filled out a few months ago!

Rules: Complete the form by answering each section truthfully. Once you’ve finished, tag other users to complete the task. Begin by sourcing the person who tagged you.

Have you ever…

Been cheated on: never gave anyone the chance to

Kissed someone and regretted it: i haven’t had my first kiss yet but i’d probably only kiss someone i was already comfortable around

Drank hard liquor: once

Been drunk and thrown up: i’ve never gotten drunk but after drinking tequila for the first time i threw up later in the night (i’m allergic to alcohol)

Met someone who changed you: probably my two friends who i met in the 6th grade who taught me to break rules for the first time. i was always scared to disobey authority figures (parents and teachers) in my life but after meeting them i was able to find who i really was and grow into myself. they also taught me that its LOTS of fun breaking the rules.

Fallen out of love: i have never fallen in love (in another reality, i would love to tho)

Found out who your true friends are: yes—my sisters are my closest friends

Lost glasses: nope, i take very good care of my things

Sex on the first date: no. i would only have sex the night i get married.

Been arrested: i’m not cool enough for that

Turned someone down: kind of? he asked if he could get to know me better and the idea alone made me want to cry forever so i stood up for myself for once and told him i didn’t have time for that. it wasn’t technically a lie since i was extremely stressed about college applications and all he wanted to do was talk about college plans.

Fallen for a friend: i don’t really have guy friends

What was your…

Last drink: lipton iced tea

Last text message: “x men first class guys”. i texted it to a group chat with my sisters and cousin since we were trying to find a movie for movie tonight. P.S. i love x-men!! first class might be my favorite but i haven’t finished the entire saga yet since i’m trying to go through it slowly. the last x-men movie i saw was x-men apocalypse which a pretty good movie too!

More questions…

Do you have any pets: nope but i hope to someday own a fish, bunny and or german shepherd. my sisters have had lots of pets though. they had a bunny, guinea pig, pug and beagle. the bunny and guinea pig have long passed away but the pug and beagle are still alive and are currently residing in our farm. it’s a real farm btw not the kind of the farm that parents tell their kids they put their pets in whey they die.

What did you do for your last birthday party: i went to a cafe with my two friends for breakfast then my family and i went to a restaurant for dinner. the best part was when my sister and i both made our own birthday cakes and blew out candles before midnight!

Name something you cannot wait for: the graham effect by elle kennedy! there aren’t many details yet but im assuming its a book about the children of hannah wells and garrett graham from the deal which is one of my all time favorite books.

What irritates you: when people touch my things/ move it from its rightful spot

Nickname(s): meg (i severely dislike it and told everyone not to call me that but no one listened)

Relationship status: single! since birth!

Favorite TV show: vampire diaries, smallville, gossip girl and rick and morty

High School: oro christian grace school

College: ateneo de manila university (truthfully, i hope to transfer school soon)

Hair Color + Length: dyed brown hair! around mid-boob length

Height: 5’2” (im ok with it)

Your crush: ryke meadows

Tattoos: none. i don’t know if i want one though, i change my mind too much to commit to something permanent on my body

Right or left-handed: right

Any surgeries: never

Any piercings: one piercing on each ear. i have gold diamond earrings i’ve been wearing since the 7th grade but i really wish they were silver

Favorite sport: none but hopefully i get into ballet soon

First vacation: hong kong? i don’t remember what we did but i know we used to go there a lot when my sisters and i were younger. though if i were to guess, we probably went to disneyland and stayed in marco polo hotel.

What do you like…

Hugs or kisses: hugs i think

Shorter or taller: taller for sure. ideally someone around 5’10”.

Older or younger: older but not too much older i guess. maybe 5 years older would be the cut off.

July 2, 2023 (Sunday) 4:04 AM

[lilchicknugg]

hi! this is my first time on tumblr! i never thought to download it but im a book enthusiast u see and in one my favorite books of all time, Bad Reputation Duet by Krista and Becca Ritchie, the main characters, willow and garrison, use it a lot to answer questionnaires and what not so i finally caved and figured i’d try it!

July 2, 2023 (Sunday) 4:00 AM