lillioba

[lillioba]

Let's talk about art)

[lillioba]

Crowley after the church bombing: Angel, you absolute idiot. You could have been shot.

[lillioba]

Beautiful 🥹 Both the picture and the text.

Episode 3 - Fire That Burns Again

A: "Do you want to come to my place?"

These are the words that come out of Aziraphale shortly after laughing.

He says them without thinking.

All at once.

Crowley hesitates to answer, then mumbles something like a yes.

Exactly 6 minutes later, a family car screeches its tires on the street.

Aziraphale's heart is beating fast.

When he sees him, he smiles softly.

Crowley doesn't smile back, but he doesn't look down.

They remain silent.

Then they sit down.

Facing each other.

No theatrical distance.

Just enough space to be honest.

A(quietly):"I'm glad you came."

C(biting, but the voice is hoarse):"I'm not here to pretend that nothing happened."

A(sincere):"Me neither. I just want to tell you everything. Without defending myself anymore."

Crowley nods.

Then he speaks.

Slowly.

C: "You left me. With the excuse of saving something that didn't want us alive, or together. You made a choice. And I... wasn't included in that choice."

A pause.

Aziraphale looks at him, shaken.

His voice is shaking but clear.

A: "You're right. You're damn right, Crowley. But I swear I thought about you every day. And every day I realized how much pain I caused you. How much I made you suffer, and you didn't deserve it in the slightest. I thought I was protecting you. Instead I only hurt you. And I don't know if I can fix it. But I want to try. Not to go back. But to move forward, if you want me to."

Crowley looks at him.

His eyes are shining. But his voice is firm.

C: "I..."

He stands up and sighs.

He puts his hands on his hips.

He watches the fire crackle in the fireplace.

The fire reflects in his lenses.

C: "I don't know what I want. But I know I don't want to lie anymore. To you. To myself. Because the truth is that I missed you, so much. But it's not enough that I miss you. I want to understand if we can still be... something."

Aziraphale nods.

He takes a mental step toward him, but doesn't touch him.

A: "Then let's start with this. With two truths that meet. And with a cup of tea, maybe."

A hint of a smile forms on Crowley.

Tiny.

Real.

C: "But this time I'll make the infusion. That way you'll stop poisoning yourself with sugar."

They laugh softly.

A little, but they laugh.

And they stay there, sitting.

Not like before.

Not yet.

But maybe, better.

A little later...

Crowley sits with the cup in his hands. Aziraphale pours more tea, slowly, as if he wants to prolong the moment.

C(sniffing the cup): "At least it doesn't smell like sacred vanilla."

A: "A compromise: black tea, honey, and a hint of whiskey. An old recipe of yours, if I recall correctly."

Crowley just smiles.

Silence falls. Only the crackling of the fire can be heard. Aziraphale looks at him. He really looks at him, perhaps for the first time in months.

The tired lines. The hands that no longer shake. The distance that separates them, only a cushion on the sofa.

A(whispering):"You took on so much, and I...I never thanked you."

C(looking at the fire):"You didn't need a thank you. You needed to stay."

Silence.

The fire crackles. A spark dances between them. No one puts it out. Crowley puts down the cup. He looks at him. Aziraphale looks back at him.

A suspended moment. The air is getting warmer. Not for the fireplace. For something else.

Aziraphale tries to make initial contact, reaches out. His fingers brush against Crowley's. Crowley doesn't pull away. They look at each other. The barriers give way.

Just for a moment.

The kiss starts slowly. As if it were the most natural thing in the world. Lips that search for each other, uncertainly. Then they find each other. And everything becomes more urgent. Time is running out.

The wound burns and desires at the same time. Hands that clasp. Breath that becomes confused.

And then...

Crowley pulls away, slowly but firmly, pushes Aziraphale away, putting his hands on his shoulders.

C: "No. No..."

Crowley shakes his head, his eyes are shining.

C: "Not like this. Not yet."

A(confused, hurt):"Sorry. I thought that..."

Crowley looks at him, but it's not a reproachful look, it's... sweet.

C:"I wanted it too. But we can't jump to a happy ending just because we kissed in front of a romantic fireplace."

Crowley sighs.

C:"I still have a wound here."

Crowley touches his chest with his hand and does the same thing on Aziraphale's chest.

C:"And you too. We're still hurt. Until we fill it ourselves... we risk hurting ourselves again."

Aziraphale lowers his gaze. Then he nods. Silence.

A(weak):"Then we stay here. In front of the fire. And nothing else."

Crowley takes a breath.

Then he nods too.

He sits back down.

He picks up the cup again.

Hands touch again, this time without kisses, just touch.

And the fire continues to burn.

Calm.

Waiting.

Later, the time to go home is imminent. Aziraphale rubs his hands against his trousers and Crowley has his hands in his pockets. He opens the door but before he leaves completely he stops on the steps.

C: "Wait."

It seems like a suspended moment. Crowley bites his lip, as if he's about to say something he can't take back once he's said it. Aziraphale stares at him in the doorway, his hand still on the doorknob.

C: "Tomorrow, will you come to dinner at my house? Just us. No angels. No demons. Just... us. No expectations."

Aziraphale looks at him.

He really looks at him.

Then, slowly, he nods.

A: "I'd like to."

C: "Perfect."

Aziraphale watches him walk away, he's not sure but he thinks Crowley is watching him too, for a moment, from behind the dark glasses.

[lillioba]

“Everything will be all right in the end — and if it isn’t alright yet, then it definitely isn’t the end.”

Have faith, ineffable fandom.

*holds hand*

*passes round the Eccles cakes*

- excerpt from Chapter 11 of my post-S2 epic, Don’t Fall Away From Me, which you can find on AO3 here.

[lillioba]

Crowley x looking at Aziraphale

(x)

[lillioba]

I think the fandom needs some reassurance with the state of GO3

Two people confirmed to be either working on GO3 or HAVE worked on GO3!

Meaning that it is still happening. I know MS said what he said, but bear in mind it was an interview about his late father, I know people who have made pessimistic comments because of the loss of someone close to them. This does not mean whatsoever he's confirming we're not getting GO3!

We as a fandom tend to panic, I know I did originally when I heard of the interview. But sometimes we need to take a step back and reread the facts. We know people who are working to bring GO3 to us, I promise you

We'll be okay 💛🫂

[lillioba]

charcoal drawing of Crowley and Aziraphale

[lillioba]

The Good Omens S2 Final Fifteen Was Completely in Character

I know that the Good Omens final fifteen is a beaten and bloody dead horse, but I'm back on my tumblr bullshit and I finally have the guts to talk about my take here.

The Final Fifteen was completely in character for both Aziraphale and Crowley.

There were no Book of Life threats made, no poisoned coffee, no hijinks at all in fact. Just some masterful manipulation from the most powerful being in the Good Omens universe besides God herself. The Metatron just played Aziraphale and Crowley like a goddamn fiddle. And it all has to do with that cute little 25 LAZERI MERACLE they performed when they weren't even trying.

Simply put, he offered them an opportunity that he new Aziraphale could not resist, but Crowley could never accept, at the exact right time.

Theoretically, The Metatron is the only being who might know what God's ineffable plan is, since he is the only being that speaks directly to God. My theory is that God is insane and always has been. Her plan is ineffable (unknowable) because there can literally be no sense made of it, if she even actually has one at all. We (the audience) and the beings in that universe are only TOLD there is a Great Plan or an Ineffable Plan by higher and higher beings until they get to The Metatron, who we must TRUST to be telling the truth of what God wants. That is truly the greatest power in the universe!! To be the ONLY being in the universe that can claim to speak for God. No one can ever verify what he says, unless God came forward in her own voice and spoke for herself, so therefore, who can dispute him?

Which allows him to do whatever he damn well pleases, and the Status Quo of The Great Plan pleases him very much. So he will do whatever it takes to ensure it is realized.

Gabriel tried to stop the Second Coming because he finally had something to live for - the love he shared with Beelzebub - and he was almost erased into obscurity. But, his love for Beelzebub and the gift that they gave him (the storage fly) saved him from that fate, and we get the events of Season 2.

The Metatron was too late to stop Gabriel and Beelzebub from running off together. But, they weren't really a threat to The Great Plan anyway. They didn't really care of Earth or creation, they just wanted to be with each other. And once they were, they fucked off to who knows where, presumably not to be a problem to The Great Plan ever again!

But, Aziraphale and Crowley... WOULD be a problem. They ARE a threat. They have thwarted The Great Plan before, and would again if they were allowed to remain together. They preformed a 25 LAZERI (sp?) miracle - something Shax said that only the mightiest of Archangels could have produced - when they were trying to be discreet!!! Imagine the power they could wield if they were at all competent and TRYING?? It could be cataclysmic!

And no matter who was chosen to replace Gabriel, once Armageddon 2.0 started up, as long as Aziraphale and Crowley were around, they would work to thwart it once more, because they love the Earth, they love humanity, and they love the life they have built for themselves. Therefore, The Metatron simply could NOT allow them to realize how powerful they are together. He could NOT allow that threat to remain. So, he masterfully played their natures against each other.

The Metatron knows that Aziraphale loves Earth, loves creation, and loves God. He knows that Aziraphale believes that God is GOOD and that all this war business must just be a misunderstanding and if matters could just be cleared up, then peace can continue. So, paradoxically, he offered the position of Supreme Archangel to Aziraphale. However, he also knows that Aziraphale is not exactly ambitious or power hungry, and now that Aziraphale has seen that an angel and a demon can in fact live together as true partners, he would decline to offer if that meant leaving Crowley. So, The Metatron does something diabolical. He sweetens the offer with something that Aziraphale embodies with every molecule of his being: HOPE. Aziraphale is a relentlessly and tirelessly hopeful angel. Hope is what drove him through the first apocalypse - hope, that good would balance out evil in Adam, hope that if it did then he would never come into his full power and Armageddon would be avoided, hope that they Adam and his gang can defeat the four horseman and Satan to stop the end of the world. The Metatron plants the idea in Aziraphale's head that if he were Supreme Archangel, he could continue to be with Crowley because he would have the authority and power to restore Crowley is Angelic status and they could finally be together doing good, which is everything Aziraphale has always wanted, and would be absolutely irresistible to him.

It's an offer he knows that Crowley could never accept, even for Aziraphale. Crowley is a known unreliable narrator when it comes to the circumstances surrounding his fall from grace. He tells conflicting stories of strange heavenly decisions, bad food, or asking too many questions. We REALLY don't know how Crowley became a demon. He could very well have joined Lucifer willingly! Pissed off at Heaven stonewalling his questions and sauntered down to Hell of his own free will. Or, he could have been cast out. At this point (pre finale) we do not know for sure. The only evidence or corroboration that we have regarding the circumstances of Crowley's fall, is the Metatron saying to Aziraphale after their fight, almost as a throwaway comment, that "He always did want to go his own way, always asking damn fool questions." This statement indicates to me that its just as likely that Crowley DID leave Heaven on his own, joining Lucifer simply because he was the opposition, and once the war ended and the reality became clear that Hell would be just as dogmatic and bureaucratic as Heaven, decided just to go along with it as far as he could in order to survive.

However, whether he left on his own, or he was traumatically cast from Heaven in a billion mile per hour swan dive into a boiling pool of sulfur simply for asking a few questions, there would be no way in the entire universe he would ever go back to Heaven. In season two he was for the most part free of the old chains that bound him and he would rather die than return to that bullshit.

The Metatron also knew that time was of the essence. After Gabriel and Beelzebub left, he knew he had to act QUICKLY and get to Aziraphale and Crowley before they had a chance to talk.

As soon as Gabriel and Beelzebub spirit away, The Metatron acts. He sweeps the other angels and demons out of the way, except for "the dim one," and pulls Aziraphale aside to talk to him privately, physically separating him and Crowley while he makes the offer. He knows he must do this before they have a chance to process what just happened between Gabriel and Beelzebub, what Crowley learned during his investigation in Heaven, and what all that could mean for THEM. He must launch his plan before the two become a unified romantic partnership. And crucially, he must make his offer to Aziraphale before they have a chance to learn how to communicate as a couple, this he was relying on.

The Metatron was relying on the fact that even though Aziraphale and Crowley had been friends for a millenia, it could never have been said out loud. They could never confess what they meant to each other without fear of destruction. As Maggie and Nina said, they never REALLY said what they meant. The Metatron knew that Aziraphale and Crowley would not yet have the communication skills of a truly strong couple. He knew that Aziraphale processed things at a glacial pace and relied on Crowley to help him navigate change. He knew if he swooped in right after Gabriel and Beelzebub left, got Aziraphale on his own and offered him everything he ever wanted on a silver plate, and pressured him to make a quick decision, he would be too overwhelmed and agree.

The Metatron was relying on the fact that they never really talked to each other and that Aziraphale would just assume that Crowley would be happy to rejoin Heaven if he was in charge so he could be the true good angel Aziraphale thought he wanted to be. He was relying on the fact that Crowley never told Aziraphale the true circumstances around his fall, and wouldn't even when it really mattered.

In other words, he knew they would fight. He pitted both their strengths and weaknesses against each other to ensure it. And, because of the new personal and romantic nature of their possible future that they had not yet been able to discuss, or find trust in, and because they haven't developed healthy communication skills, it would be devastating. This fight would be different than all of their other little tiffs. This one would break their hearts, and would end in lasting anger, bitterness, sadness, and feelings of betrayal which would be far harder for them to overcome were they to see each other again. Their friendship would be really truly over and the threat they posed to The Metatron's power and The Great Plan would be neutralized. He even withheld crucial information of what exactly Heaven's new big plans were that only Aziraphale could help them with (The Second Coming) until after their fight, so that they wouldn't have anything to put their relationship issues aside for and come together to rally against like they did with Armageddon. In the end, Aziraphale would be in Heaven where he could be controlled, monitored, or even imprisoned if need be, and Crowley, heartbroken and bitter, would just go his own way, not bothering to make a fuss without Aziraphale to fight for.

I think we as a fandom came up with so many outrageous theories to explain the final fifteen because we were heartbroken and didn't want to admit what a masterful stroke of manipulation the Metatron played. We wanted Aziraphale and Crowley to be better but they aren't. They are flawed beings just like humans and that is what makes them so relatable. Ultimately, despite the manipulation they were subject to, they made their own choices.

The fact of the matter is they both fumbled the ball on this one. Aziraphale made assumptions he should not have. He assumed that the love they share would simply erase all of the history and baggage that Heaven holds for Crowley and make it all better. He assumed that Crowley WANTED forgiveness from Heaven at all. Which were very wrong assumptions indeed, and he ended up asking too much from Crowley. But, Crowley also didn't exactly fight that hard. Aziraphale did not just leave Crowley behind, he begged Crowley to come with him to Heaven to BE with him, Crowley CHOSE not to go. He had his very valid reasons for doing so, but he didn't communicate those reasons to Aziraphale. So what was Aziraphale to think? How was he to feel? OF COURSE he would return to Heaven with an offer like that, that is Aziraphale's NATURE, to love, and to fix, and to make right. And he can do that the most effectively as Supreme Archangel. Yes, Crowley made the big monologue and kissed Aziraphale in a desperate attempt to get him to stay, but lets be so for real, if he was REALLY trying to get Aziraphale to stay, he should have opened up more on WHY he couldn't go back to Heaven, even to be with Aziraphale. They STILL didn't really TALK to each other. They still didn't REALLY say anything that they hadn't kind of already said to each other before. So, they fucked it! And, The Metatron's plan worked brilliantly, and now we are where we are in the story.

I really have no idea how the finale is going to go. Two years later, I still have no predictions. I of course have things I wish would happen, but I try not to put too much hope into them because I don't want it to ruin the real end of the story for me. I'm so excited to see the conclusion of this incredible story. I know that no matter what happens, it's going to be epic and perfect.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED Talk lol. I don't enter discourse very often.

[lillioba]

Good Omens & the Existential Art of Not Giving Up (or, When It's All Exhausting)

So many of us love Good Omens, especially Crowley and Aziraphale, with an intensity that our friends and loved ones may not understand. We analyze their choices, their relationship, their future. We cry over them. We speculate, create and enjoy fanfics about them, and await the conclusion of their story with all of our hopes and fears on the line.

For me, one of the biggest reasons I'm so attached to their story is because of the way they constantly fight to figure out how to exist as they are, in a universe that forces them be something they're not. They make mistakes, they get overwhelmed, and sometimes they totally screw it up. But they always come back.

They never give up.

Our world is -- tough -- to say the least. Many of us are struggling to figure out how to exist as we are. So many pressures and expectations, so much conflict and... Well, you already know exactly what I mean! Existential Exhaustion is real, and all too present.

Good Omens provides something much more important than an escape from those harsh realities. I believe it provides HOPE.

I lost hope for a little while. I've been away from Tumblr and my AO3 writing for months because of it. Good Omens was helping me keep my head above water in a chaotic, exhausting world. When the future of GO itself got chaotic, I lost something (for awhile) that helped me make sense of the world's chaos.

But these characters, Crowley and Aziraphale, are beautiful and brave and flawed and So Ineffably HUMAN... They show us what it is to fight and fall and fail and rise to fight again. They remind us that we can mess up and still be lovable, worthy of love. And, when they get it right, they show us what acceptance and fidelity can be.

Stories are usually about how people (and angels and demons!) respond to challenges. We only get to be privy to the story of Our Ineffables when their lives are about to get turned upside down. AntiChrist about to enter the world? Season 1. Their precious, peaceful, fragile existance together about to be threatened by a mysterious Something Terrible from Heaven? Season 2.

I love to imagine what Aziraphale and Crowley's lives together were like in that short time they had together in between. (It's why we love the flashbacks, right? An extra peek at their relationship!) That time was far too short, but they came a long way since that gentle night at the bus stop, and protecting each other's very existence from Hellfire and Holy Water the very next day. "To the World", they said. "To Us," it meant, and how much they love it and strive to protect it.

Like us, Our Ineffables are flawed fellows. They get overwhelmed. Aziraphale gets too anxious, and starts spouting off things he doesn't really mean. Crowley loses his temper, and likewise starts spouting off things he doesn't really mean...

They fight with each other.

They fight for each other.

And life stays hard. They get overwhelmed. Anxiety happens. Anger happens. Bad decisions happen. Existential Exhaustion. Doesn't put any of us at our best, yeh?

But they keep trying to figure it all out and make it right. For the world and for each other...

Maybe I believe in Our Ineffables so much because I need something to believe in that gives me Hope, something that helps me keep fighting. Because I do believe in them, both of them. They mess up, but they don't give up.

Maybe that's not such a weird thing for any of us to believe in.

[lillioba]

❤️‍🩹 I'm home 🫂

Ko-Fi Shop | Patreon

[lillioba]

Post S2 Crowley needs a bit of space

(Going for some Little Prince vibes)

[lillioba]

ineffable wives!!

[lillioba]

So well done, and pretty mind-blowing, too.

Bad Omens?

[lillioba]

LOVE ISNT A SIN!!

[lillioba]

Happy Pride Month!!!

Reposting the Pride-themed illustrations from my human AU Sky Clear Blue (rated E, 289k, complete) in celebration. Watching an 18th-century man transplanted into 2024 enjoying his first Pride parade is pretty moving 💛

Be the you the Snugglebunch would want you to be, not just this month but always 🤍💗♥️❤️‍🔥🧡💛💚💙💜🖤

[lillioba]

When Aziraphale blurted out "love" to the archangels as the excuse for why he did a miracle the prior night, he was looking at the record in his hand, yes-- but that record had a label on it with words like resurrectionist, goat, and Edinburgh... words that Aziraphale associates with Crowley and their history together.

Maggie and Nina weren't the initial inspiration for Aziraphale's lie for the Gabriel protection miracle-- Crowley was.

It was the label that caused Aziraphale say he did a miracle for love, not the record. Aziraphale's eyes landed on the Crowley-related words and all he could think of was love.

The initial burst of the lie was about Crowley while the inspiration for using Maggie's pash on Nina came about after, as a result of the record itself reminding him of Maggie.

As soon as the love excuse was out of his mouth, Aziraphale then needed a story about who was in love that caused him to do a miracle because he couldn't tell the archangels the truth, which was that he thought the best chance he and Crowley might ever have to their situation changing was to help Gabriel.

It was only then that Aziraphale, looking at the record that Maggie handed him, remembered Maggie telling him of her pash on Nina, and used her situation as the reason he did the miracle.

A couple of hours later, when telling Crowley about Maggie's thing for Nina, Aziraphale did not describe it like this at all. 😂 He definitely did not think that Maggie was in love off of what she told him in the record shop.

Aziraphale searched in the pub for a few seconds for the word he thought was most appropriate before telling Crowley that Maggie has a "pash" on Nina-- describing it all as the crush that it was-- and that she was a bit of a mess about it by saying that she "doesn't know how to conduct a courtship."

Aziraphale wasn't wrong about any of that but it was the complete opposite of saying that he thought that Maggie was in love, showing just how much he was lying about what he felt Maggie & Nina's situation was when he concocted the story for the archangels.

Aziraphale didn't have love on the brain because of learning of Maggie's pash on Nina, he had love on the brain because he was thinking of his own love for Crowley.

[lillioba]

Sometimes you watch a scene and forget they’re acting.

That’s what Michael and David do — they make it feel real, like we’re intruding on something private.