lillyfics

[lillyfics]

I like when people mention “The Rains of Castamere” in their hotd fanfics cause I like to think the very alive Reynes of Castamere are sat in the corner of the feast going

[lillyfics]

Soaring through the Skies || Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Summary: The trials and tribulations in the journey of your love with Aemond.

Previous Chapter

TW: swearing, sexual violence, angst, heartbreak, violence, child death, infidelity, death, references to smut

Chapter 5 (WC: 2,944)

Numb. That’s how you feel. You have endured so much pain that now they have all blended into a singular numbness. Your father is dead, and you don’t know how to feel about it. Do you mourn him? Or do you mourn of what’s going to happen now? As much as you want to keep your hopes you now know how the war is going to end, crushing your dreams of escape. But escaping also always came with a dash of uncertainty, didn’t it? At least you have an idea of what it is like on this side. On the other side, your welcome could go either way, especially after the babe. Your father would believe you to be a traitor, or worse he could try to get rid of Aelora.

Guilt floods your mind for demonizing your father, as he had always had your best interests at heart, despite his questionable feelings for your mother. Opposing guilt, doubt makes you question every interaction with your father making you think if you even knew him properly. Once, you thought you were cunning just like your father, but now you know his cruelty knew no bounds, unlike you. You never would have actively wished harm upon a child and thought your father would too, but you were proven wrong.

You mentally scoff, what use is to dissect the thoughts and moves of your father, as he has long departed the world as of now, thanks to your husband. Husband. The very thought sends bitter aftershocks through you. You understand his reasons so for killing your father, and shamefully, you don’t feel as betrayed by this act of his as you anticipated. However, the pain of his other betrayals still thrives in you.

A sudden smack on your chin inflicted by a tiny hand breaks you out of your trance. You look down at the toothless smile of your Aelora. Her eyes glimmer, unknown of the horrors happening around her. And you won’t let her know of it either, doing your best to protect her from the harsh reality. In reality, you are drowning, and no one is here to help you. Not your father. Not Aemond. You are left to drown, as you did betray all of them by not taking any action. Except now, you have to stay afloat. Not for you, but for Aelora.

You quickly swipe the tears away from your face before you play with her so that she could only see the happy version of you, which you have been failing at more and more recently.

You lift her to your eye level and gently nudge her nose with yours.

“Aren’t you my prettiest love? You are, aren’t you?”

You don’t know if she could understand your words, yet her grin grows wider, nonetheless. Unable to control yourself, you lay loud kisses all over her face, making giggles erupt out of her. Her giggles are the loveliest music you will ever hear, and you don’t think you ever want to stop listening to it. But it does come to an end, after you could sense someone entering the chambers. You don’t make yourself welcome the person, as it usually Alicent or the children wanting to spend time with Aelora. However, fate seems to mock you today as you catch sight of the silver hair.

Your eyes are stuck in stalemate with his for a long time, until he eventually sets his sight down lower. On your daughter. Our daughter, you guess.

He tries to move forward, eyes not leaving her,“Love-“

“Don’t”

You move further back, as his every move closer repulses you like oil to water. He looks devastated, almost ashamed at the fact that he is made someone who loved him to feel disgusted by him. The sorry sight of his eyes makes you falter a bit. You loved him. You never wanted him to feel hurt. To know that you have caused him to feel this pain hurts you more than you anticipated. You have missed him. You missed his kisses and his touches. You want to go back, you want to feel those touches again, and it would be so easy to do so as he is within arm’s reach. One single step, and he will know what to do. He always has. But then you remember. His hands were not only yours like you thought they were. They were the witch’s too, weren’t they? And he must have used not only her hands to touch her, you digress, due to her condition. And now your thoughts wander, as you imagine him and her naked, touching each other, caressing each other, and much and much more. Much more that you only thought you were privy too. A stray tear escapes your eye as you close your eyes and clutch your babe.

“Why?”

Aemond just stares at you, unsuccessful at hiding his guilt, unable to answer.

You don’t know what kind of answer you are expecting either. In fact, you don’t even know what you are asking him. Why? Why did he lie to you about the betrothal? Why did he betray you so with another woman? Why did he kill your father? Why did he tell you that he loves you so in the first place if he was never able to fully give you his heart?

“I am sorry.”

You open your eyes. Surprising. You didn’t think he would outright condemn his actions, but this is a start. You think. A start to where, however? You aren’t sure.  Your eyes drift to a glint of steel. Dark sister. He catches the drift of your eyes. “I am not apologizing for the killing of your father, and I never will. I know it hurts you, but I did it for Jaehaerys, and any regret I would feel towards this action feels like dishonoring the memory of my nephew. So, I won’t” he said softly but stern at the same time.

“Then what are you apologizing for?” you ask him, tired and aware. He knows that you know. You can see that in his eyes. Then why can’t he open his mouth and just say it. How hard must it be for him to form those words and acknowledge the truth? He had no problem lying to you after all.  Does he think that saying it out loud would make it real? Well, he needs to know that it already is real, and that it already has happened, and this conversation just for both of you to take a step to wherever it leads.

“Alys, she-she- “

“Stop stammering and just get to it” you sob, clutching Aelora to your chest.

“It’s just I need her-“

Every word that comes out of his mouth is like a nail to your chest. You have known of this, and you thought these months alone with Aelora would prevent the pain from occurring, but it seem like the wound is reopening instead.

“You needed her?” you screech.

“Alys, she can look into the future, my love, that’s why I have been winning these battles, you must listen to me-“

“Must listen to you! I have listened to enough of your lies, and look how I am. I trusted you, and look where it led me.”

Aelora screamed, sensing your distress, and you immediately loosen your grip to slightly bounce her around. “Shhhh…..my darling, mama’s here…”

Aemond looks at the scene with wonder in his eyes. This sight is like a dream come true to him. You, being a wonderful mother to his child.

You feel his gaze, and felt the immediate need to hide from his eyes.

“Can I hold him?” Aemond asked, hopeful for your compassion.

“No, you cannot hold HER. Were you so besotted by her cunt that you weren’t even remotely aware of what was happening here?”

Aemond was shocked. He expected your wrath and disappointment, but vulgarity? From someone as sweet as you? Safe to say Aemond was bamboozled.

“She is mine too!” Aemond commanded. “Yours? I was the one who carried her, all alone, as a prisoner, while you were cavorting with your whore!”

“ALYS IS NO WHORE-“

“Well she has me fooled” with a hint of sarcasm to your tone.

“AND she’s here, so she needs to be treated with a modicum of respect.” He stills, gauging your response.

“She’s here? In King’s Landing?”

“Yes,” he continues, before you start your questioning, “-she’s here because the war still isn’t over, I still need her-“

“Need her?” you scoff, with thinly veiled rage over your face.

“And she’s pregnant too, I can’t leave her alone, not after this.” Aemond tells you, with displeasure.

At this point, all the fight has left you. You take deep breaths, trying to calm yourself, trying to keep yourself steady for Aelora. Taking advantage of the silence, Aemond moves forward to try to hold Aelora.

“Don’t.”

Aemond stares at you in disbelief. He didn’t expect you to be iron clad.

He pleads,“I just want to hold my child, love, please...”

“You will have a child of your own to hold soon,” you say, voice on the verge of tears, holding Aelora to your chest.

A single stray tear escapes his eye as he stares at the babe in your arms. It hurts, it hurts you to see him like this, you would do anything to see him smile. Does he not understand, that it hurts for you to do this? That it hurts for you to not let him hold Aelora? A year ago, a picture of him holding your daughter would have cured all your ailments. Now, you can’t let that happen. No, not when it is worth your dignity, not when that is all you have you left that is your own. Even Aelora won’t be just yours, you understand, that she will grow up to be a person of her own. But not your dignity. Your dignity is yours, and it might just be the most powerful weapon you will ever yield.

“Can you please leave now, if that is all you have to say?” you ponder weakly.

Aemond is smart warrior, he knows when a battle is lost. Before leaving, he hesitantly questions you. “May I please know her name?”

“Aelora”

Weeks pass by, and Aemond is still trying his best to get in your good graces. But how could he? Not when you know that he is been sharing his bed with her, now that you have barred him from yours. You have barred him from your chambers, and locked yourself up in your chambers, making you a prisoner of your own choice, hence he still hasn’t caught a proper glimpse at your shared daughter.

One night, you finally decide to leave Aelora to your trustable maid, even though it hurts you to do so, to go have dinner with the entire family. According to Alicent, the children miss you and these dinners would help bring a sense of normalcy back. Normalcy? Alicent Hightower is truly delusional, you think. Things cannot go back to how they were. No, you can’t and won’t allow it. Without pretending that a sense of dread looms over you, not that you have to pretend, it seems like betraying the dead ones. Dead ones that you love. Yet, you still dress yourself to as best as you could and head to the dinner, at least for the children. They at least deserve to believe that the world is a better place, at least for a little while longer, even when they already know it isn’t.

You take a seat between Maelor and Alicent, who were already in an enamored conversation. Well, calling it a conversation is unjust, as it is just Alicent agreeing with Maelor’s half statements. Jaehaera, who is seated between her father and Maelor, leans beyond her little brother so she could ask you all about your little babe. Now everyone in the table has your attention, as they are all curious about your Aelora. They know you are a good mother, and that you would take no actions to harm her, yet they still feel like they are restrained from getting to properly know their niece, grand-daughter, great grand-daughter due to your over protectiveness, not that they could particularly blame you. Taking advantage of the opportunity, they slowly get to know more of Aelora through the little tidbits you offer through questioning. While Otto Hightower doesn’t directly question you, you notice that he has ears open towards you. You should have known, he was always to known to favor his daughter, granddaughter, and great granddaughter and would only be looking to do the same with your own daughter. You want to let it happen. You want her to be loved by all, get the most amount of love from everyone around her until she couldn’t anymore. But you of all people should know better than that. Love leads to trust, and only with trust could you ever receive the knife of betrayal. Thus, you restrain access to your Aelora, only allowing them to know her but not the opposite.

And while you were continuing with your conversations, you hear before you the see scrape of the chair across you. Aemond, uncharacteristically late. You didn’t think he would show up, either believing that they didn’t invite him to give you some courtesy or he himself decided not to show up. Yet here is, across you. And there comes the end to all of your conversations about Aelora. You don’t want to, knowing that talking about her is the only peaceful conversation you could have these days, but you don’t want him to know anything about her, as you don’t have any way else to hurt him. While everyone else quickly understood that the conversation has come to an end, Jaehaera, a lovely child she is, still questions you on when Aelora will be able to play with dolls with her. With a warm smile, you assure Jaehaera that Aelora still has to get a bit older to play dolls with her. Maelor, not wanting to be left out, immediately questions whether Aelora would play with him too. And you quench his doubts too, with no other choice. Because, if not conversing with them means you have to take notice of Aemond, the last thing you ever want to do. Aemond however, is desperate to at least meet your eyes with a glance, a privilege you haven’t granted him yet.

 However, your time of comfort comes to an end when you notice a dark haired woman takes a seat next to him. Chillness descends upon the dining hall, with mortification in everyone’s eyes, including Aemond’s. Otto’s sternly utters, “Aemond.” While it may seem like a simple statement of his name, everyone in the room knows it is a silent command. A silent command to get the witch out of the room, whether it be for your dignity or due to his piousness to the Seven or just his preference not to dine with a low-born. But a command is a command, one that Aemond would be to follow with no exceptions. Nonetheless, Aemond doesn’t even allow himself the slight twitch of a muscle, shaming not just you but everyone else in the room further. Aemond also found his wish to be granted, but not with a glance he was expecting but with a look of betrayal from you. Not just from you, as everyone else in the dining hall were either giving him looks of disgust, disappointment, or shame. You move to exit the dining hall, as your eyes are now filled with tears threatening to spill. You could hear Aemond gently calling you, but you make no heeds to his pleas, now that you know where you stand in his life.

After your abrupt departure, Alicent takes hold of the children and moves to her chambers to continue with the dinner, but not before uttering a gut-wrenching words to Aemond, “You have disappointed me.” Aegon and Otto quickly finish their dinner, not a single noise escaping their mouths so they could be done with the façade of a dinner, leaving Aemond and Alys to dine alone.

More weeks pass by, and you opt your decision to continue you days with just Aelora, as Aemond is no longer part of your life. It hurts, but you know time will heal it, as it heals all wounds. At least you hope so it would. You want to take your words to Aegon, to convince him to finally leave with your daughter to the Runestone, promising him of no retaliation or rebellion, just living out your days in peace. You feel like a coward, but you know that you have no other choice, revenge will only continue the cycle of violence, and you don’t want any harm to befall on Aelora due to your mistakes. You know the realm will scorn you, including your own siblings. Will you be punished for not mourning, hence failing your duty as a daughter or will you be punished for mourning him, a man history will not look kindly upon? You can’t win either way. However, your plans are thrown into a blender as you realize the war still isn’t over yet, that the Blacks are still retaliating. You learn of this when your doors are suddenly barred shut, unable to hear anything except whispers of chaos outside. Not wanting to take your chances, you take Aelora in your hands and take refugee near the secret passageway in your room, to flea at a moment’s notice.

[lillyfics]

Soaring through the Skies || Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Summary: The trials and tribulations in the journey of your love with Aemond.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay! College's kicking my ass

TW: swearing, sexual violence, angst, heartbreak, violence, child death, infidelity, death, references to smut

Chapter 4 (WC: 3,199)

You wake up, thinking you must have fallen asleep under your dragon because you don’t think you are physically capable of moving. Staring at the canopy hung over your bed, you wonder what went wrong. Was any of it even your fault? If not, why do you have to endure any of this? If yes, where did you go wrong, and can you even fix it? During your dwelling, you catch movement in the corner of your eyes. It’s not just you it seems, even your good mother seems like she is faring at her worst. Even though it seems impossible, you gain enough strength to evade her touch when she tries to pet your cheeks. She flinches, but you can also see the understanding in her eyes. You readjust your head and continue staring at the canopy. Tears (of sadness? Or dryness?) leak through the corner, sliding across your face and into your hair.

 As much as you want to, you know you can’t avoid this any longer, you need to know what’s happening, nothing but the whole truth, and Alicent Hightower is your best bet. You choose to sit up and lean against the headboard, again refusing her help and reach for the water pitcher yourself to quench your parched throat. You know drinking water straight from the pitcher is unlady like but you don’t have an ounce of care anymore. Seems like your good mother doesn’t care either, as she doesn’t reprimand you. She looks at you with pity and sadness, and you look back at her eyes with despair and anger. Knowing that she can’t avoid you anymore, she talks.

“I didn’t agree to it you know, my father’s ideas. I have accepted you as my good daughter at the sept, and it was a vow that I wasn’t willing to break.”

“Oh, so you are only willing to break the oaths made to the king then?” you scoffed. Even in your delicate condition, your impatience had to take the reins. She chooses to not respond to your attitude, and instead just continued. “Aemond didn’t want to either, he loves you, every lie out of his mouth was to protect you.” You can’t help but be impressed by the audacity of this woman.

“How can I even trust any of you after this?” you questioned. It is the truth. You have given them all your trust and they have done nothing but misuse it. “Even if everything else was a lie to protect me, what about the bastard at Harrenhal?” You know that you hit the mark, as she plainly refuses to meet your gaze now, confirming your suspicions.

You could feel your heartbreak. You didn’t think you could lose anymore hope, but you just did. Even if Aemond had lied to you about the other things, you think you could have recovered. Sure, it would take a lot of effort and it might not go back to what it was but now, the life you thought you had just ended.

Alicent Hightower knows that she comes off as an awful person, but in this moment she knows she will always be on your side, even though she knows she can never make you believe it. After all, just like you, she was once a young girl who dreamt of a hopeful future only for it be crushed like a flower in the hands of a toddler who doesn’t understand its beauty yet. She reaches forward and clasps your hand tightly not letting it go despite your struggle to do so.

“Look, I am not asking you for your trust or support, knowing that I have lost the rights to it a far long time ago. All you need to know is that I won’t let anything happen to you, I only have three grandchildren now when I should have four instead, Jaehaera, Maelor, and the babe in your belly. You might not trust me, you might think I am doing this just for your babe but that is not it. Even after the babe is born, you will have my protection to my utmost capability. I will find a way. I will.”

Her eyes shone with sincerity. You want to believe her and gods what would you do to have at least one person on your side you could be true with, but you restrain yourself. You trusted one person and look what happened.

Titles are long gone. You don’t see her as the dowager queen anymore. She is just Alicent Hightower, a flower who withered. You on the other hand, are a flower who is steadily withering.

In that moment, something shifts between the relationship between you and Alicent. She starts spending time with you every day, whether it be alone or sometimes with the children she bring along. It soothes a little bit of the pain, but you know it can’t completely be cured. Your babe grows, and that is all what you have been focusing on lately. One evening, you sit by the fireplace, doing some light reading while munching on some apple pies, something of which you have been craving lately. However, your moment of peace was interrupted when Alicent marched into your chambers, with a worried look in her eyes. Taking a seat next to you, she tries to gage your feelings so that she can cautiously deliver some terrible news it seems. While you are worried about harming the babe, you don’t think any news she brings could cause you more distress than the previous news you have received. She moves to hold your arm, and you let her. “I know you were close with Jace…” she hesitates when she sees your eyes widen. You think you know what follows, but still you don’t want to believe it. “Just tell”, you stammer. “Jacaerys Velaryon was killed by the triarchy. His dragon was shot down.” You are in agony, but you still see that she has more news to tell, and you nod for her to continue as tears drip from your eyes. “The triarchy attacked when Rhaenyra was trying to send her youngest two sons away to safety on a ship-“ You don’t let her finish, immediately enquiring her about your younger brothers. Her eyes drop even more, and along with it your stomach does too.

“From our sources, Aegon was able to escape on his dragon, but…but…”

“But what?” you raise your voice. “Nothing is known of Viserys.”

 Small, but noticeable sobs escape your lips. Alicent, in her motherly tone, tries to console you. “Nothing is set in stone about Viserys yet, he could still be alive, try to keep some hope up for your baby brother”, she says softly. How could you? How could you still hope for better things. Just when you try to accept that things can’t get more worse than this, it does. Viserys, oh Viserys, he was like you first child. You remember his small giggles. You try to remember how he tried to learn to walk for the first time. You try to remember how much he loved you, and how much you love him. And you can’t even grieve him properly now, could you? Some part of his grief is stolen by Jacaerys. Jacaerys, a sweet, honorable, noble, prince. Though he was young, he was one of the greatest people you have ever known, and the honor of being loved by him is something you will hold close to your heart forever. You can’t help but wonder if he hated you before he died. He gave you something dear to him, only for you not to accept it. Maybe that’s why you are suffering now, atoning for your sins.  

Days now are a blend of repetition. Nothing unique. You sob. You grieve. You suffer. You are painfully aware that you are in no position to make any moves. Just a pawn. Bent to everyone else’s wills. The only thing that is able to bring you out of your pit of despair is your growing babe, and its movements within. Gods, your babe is so active. Is it because he is excited, or is it because he is struggling to get out of this cage of misery? You could never know, yet you still try your best to protect him. Him? Your mind wants you to believe it will be a little boy, however you still aren’t sure. In the beginning, you wanted a little boy like Aemond. Intelligent, honorable, and so much more, your Aemond was. Now, you aren’t even sure if he is your Aemond anymore.

Slowly pacing across the chambers, the only company being your good mother and your niece and nephew, you try to calm yourself from the discomfort you are facing, but from the look on Alicent’s face it is obvious you are failing to do so. “What are you feeling? And do you need anything? Some cakes perhaps? Maybe pies? Something to drink mayhaps-“ You stop her rambling, noticing that it has increased in the past few months- only to clutch your belly as a sharp pain spreads throughout your core. Wetness slithers down your legs. NO, NO, no-your mind is racing, knowing it is not time yet, how could it be? Your belly might look big, but it is only a few months along right? Alicent rushes to your side, helping you to rest nearby while the maids come in to rush the children out. She tries to get help, but she is unable to so as you don’t leave your iron grip on her. You need her to be by your side. Please, please. She is the only one to have shown kindness to you, even though it might not entirely be truthful. You don’t have your father by your side, you don’t have your sister by your side either. Neither are your brothers. Most importantly your husband, which breaks your heart. So, of course, you need Alicent by your side. And she does. As the midwives fill the chambers, Alicent helps you out of your dress along with a few maids, with nothing but tenderness etched across her face. She also undoes your elaborate braiding, only to replace it with a simple braid that keeps hair out of your face and causes no trouble laying your head back if the need arises to.

And it begins, the labour. Your lower body convulses with pain. You feel nothing besides it. Blood, sweat, and water coat you. You only realize now much time has passed, as the chambers have started to darken as the maids began lighting candles around. Nonetheless, you are still pushing. You are crying, screaming, howling out of your chest, hoping that any of it could possibly stop the pain. You just want it to be over and done with it. In the delirium, you didn’t notice someone arriving your birthing chambers. “Aegon, this is no appropriate place for you”, Alicent reprimands. He still doesn’t leave, instead choosing to sit on the other side and hold your other hand that is not held by Alicent. He hasn’t uttered a single word, just taking a cloth nearby and wiping your sweaty forehead. More time passes by, and both Alicent and Aegon has yet to make a move to leave your side. You take notice of the maester talking to both of them, but you don’t have enough energy to acknowledge what he is actually saying. You only know that whatever he said must have offended Aegon as he sent the maester out of your chambers in disgrace. Aegon moves closer, helping you sit up, and then takes his place his behind you so you could lean against his back. And he helps you push. His hands are on your stomach, pushing it forward as you are slouched down and screaming. Few more pushes and then, your screams were interrupted by new cries filling the crowded chambers. You blink your tears away in a desperate attempt to catch a glimpse of your babe. “A girl! Princess, you have a baby girl!” exclaimed one handmaiden, whose name you can’t be bothered to remember. A baby girl. You have a baby girl. You reach your arms forward, trying to touch your child, afraid that she would disappear if you don’t. Understanding your emotions, Clara roughly wipes her and hands you her over to you. Placed upon your arms, she ceases crying, opting to stare at you instead. Her eyes, one purple, one brown, both so dark they are almost indistinguishable, glimmer with wonder. Her fat cheeks tinted red, thick silver strands curling upon her head. “She’s beautiful,” Aegon says behind you, reminding you of his presence. While a small part of you intrigued that he is here, taking part in a very intimate moment with you, you push it away as only the thoughts of your baby occupy your head now. Alicent, also next to you, asks what you want to name her.  Aelora. An old valyrian name meaning “unexpected.” While it may not mean something grand, you think it fits her, as she is an unexpected boon to you in these troubling times.

“Aelora”

“Guess I will make the official announcement then,” Aegon exclaims before leaving, finally not being able to stand Alicent’s judgmental looks. Not just Alicent’s looks, but the maesters and the maids you notice. It was when he moves to leave you become aware that you were laying on his chest, and become aware of what it implies. You don’t know what to make of this new found predicament, but as you meet his eyes when he stands by the bed, you notice something familiar. A something familiar that you look at in the mirror every day these past several months. A feeling of loneliness. Guess he was trapped here too, and wanted to feel something. Anything. Even if it is a gruesome birth he had no purpose participating in. He nods at you, a flicker of understanding between the both of you.

You hold Aelora as she feeds from your breast. Even though she was scarcely a week at this point, she feeds from you like it her last meal. You could think that it was just yesterday Aemond held your hand and told you about how he killed Luke. Now, you are holding your babe in your arms. It has been nearly eight moons, not perfect but a near time for a babe to be born. Has it really been that long? You made a babe and the babe has taken its first breathe, yet still the war is going on, a war that was started on the night he she was made.

The birth of your babe has been a nice change, kept you lighter on your feet, and you took advantage of that. You stroll through the corridors, the courtyard, and the gardens more frequently now. Being trapped in your chambers with your babe is no good for either of you. The movement keeps you alive, and your babe is also looking at the world for the first time, with you to introduce it to her. One night, you were perched upon a balcony, showing the moon to Aelora. No, you were showing your Aelora to the moon. “It’s beautiful isn’t it?” you hear yourself saying. You cherished these solitary moments spent with your daughter. You are alone no more, as you have your Aelora with you. While everyone else who loved you had their conditions, you knew Aelora held none. You knew it from the toothless grins she gave you. And you do the same. You love her unconditionally too. But you are not alone all the time now, as everyone seems to be excited about the new babe. Jaehaera and Maelor join you frequently, along with their grandmother sometimes. Alicent looks a juxtaposition of youthful, maternal, and exhausted these days. The war is keeping her occupied, you guess.  But you don’t mind the solitude. You bravely march upon the court, with your concerns only existing regarding your daughter. Their looks and stares don’t bother you no more. It’s you and your Aelora against the world, not that any harm would befall you in court.  At first you were convinced that it was Aemond’s love that was protecting you from any harm. Instead, it was Otto Hightower, wanting you as his pretty little bird in a cage so that Runestone wouldn’t go against the greens’ factions. Before, you would have been devastated that your safety wasn’t out of Aemond’s love but now, it doesn’t bother you much. Sure, it still stings, but he is no longer the most important person in your life. You do feel guilty of how easily you were able to discard him, but he was the one to do to you first, even more insulting is that it is with a bastard witch. While these thoughts drowned your mind before, now they don’t. Aelora is there to keep you afloat now.

The stars glitter across the sky, and Aelora can’t fall asleep, hence, you are wide awake too. She necessarily isn’t fussy, just content to be in your arms, with reasons of her own. Nights like these are when you think of your escapes. Would anyone even notice you making your escape. You can easily tie Aelora to your chest, make way through the secret passages and onto your dragon. No, it is too much of a risk, not just to you, but to Aelora too. Surely, they might have gotten more aware of the passageways since your father’s stint. Thinking of your father, you aren’t even sure how welcomed you would be from the other side. Surely your father wouldn’t have sent those assassins if he had at least a slight regard for your position, neither do you want to be part of a side that would kill children. What do you even do now? All you could do is be still for now. However, just because you are sitting still doesn't mean you are idle. You are always thinking. Plotting. You might be a glorified prisoner, but you are still the Lady of Runestone and that means a lot, doesn’t it? You just have to be patient.

The night gets colder, and right when you think Aelora is about to rest her eyes, you hear muttering outside the doors. “Is it a good time…maybe tomorrow…might be asleep…” Tomorrow what? You can never sleep now can you? Not without know what they are talking about. “What?” you commanded sternly as you open the doors. Even while just dressed in robes, the domineering tone of your voice and the sharp gaze of your eyes made them cower. It’s Clara, one of your maids and Ser Luther, one of your knights. It seems that they are both ashamed to be discovered, but you need to know. “JUST TELL ME!” you scream-whispered, taking note to not disturb your Aelora. Unable to meet your eyes, Clara has her head down while the good Ser gives you the news. “There are rumors your highness, rumors that your husband killed you father on top of God’s Eye.”

[lillyfics]

Soaring through the Skies || Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Summary: The trials and tribulations in the journey of your love with Aemond.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Author's Note: The reader really goes through it in this chapter 🫠

TW: swearing, sexual violence, angst, heartbreak, violence, child death, infidelity, death, references to smut

Chapter 3 (WC: 7,897)

“I killed Lucerys.”

“Wha-“ He lunges at you, encapsulating your lips with his mouth, forcing you to lay back down. You can’t breathe. You can’t move. All you could feel is wet skin and clothes bearing on top of you. He briefly parts from you, only to rip your clothes from you, and remove his own clothes as quickly as possible, so he could continue stealing your breath. You try begging him to stop and try to ask him questions but he simply doesn’t let you. His mouth latches onto yours again as he sheathes himself inside of you. Ignoring your pleading sobs, he ruts into you like a madman. You could only feel pain, as you have never been taken like this before. Besides the pain you feel inside, you also feel agony outside as Aemond starts to bite anywhere in your body, without a concern for your pain. Even when you were losing your maidenhead, Aemond prepared you plenty well and was gentle with you so that you could only feel the minimum amount of pain. There is no trace of that Aemond in this Aemond that is ravaging you now. Right now, all you could do is clench your eyes shut and hope that pain passes away soon. By the time Aemond finishes, you are unbearably tired and end up passing out, with blood leaking out of your nether regions.

Aemond knows he is hurting you. Yet unable to stop he continues to seek his relief. By the time his haze clears, he notices that you have passed out. Finishing with a gentle kiss to your forehead, he gently cleans you and makes sure you are comfortably placed before laying down to get some rest alongside you. He feels slight guilt over the events that have occurred over this evening, and plans to make amends in the morning. He knows that the love you both share is strong, and that the mistakes of this night could easily be fixed the following day.

As your eyes slowly start to open, the room seems much lighter than the times you usually wake up. Suddenly, a sharp pain spreads through you, making you recall the events from last night. The pain and the betrayal. Not trying to overexert yourself, you slowly start shifting around in the bed until your eyes land on Aemond. He was sitting in the same position as he did last night when you found him, but instead of the wet leathers he was just in his breaches. Aemond is usually so attentive; he notices even the smallest shifts in your sleep. However, in this moment, he barely seems to notice that you have woken up until you call out his name. “Aemond” He finally notices you, barely trying to contain his wince as he notes your whimpers as you try to sit up. He helps you sit up and leans against the bed post, immediately trying to move away after guiding you, but you don’t let him, you hold onto his hand and refuse to let go. “Tell me” Your words break him out of his trance, his actions finally catching up to him. A single tear leaks out of his sapphire. In this state, Aemond is the very image of pain. His trauma, his pain, his mistakes, all seem to inflict revenge upon him this very moment. Your eyes always tended to reflect his. Right now, you don’t think you have the strength to meet his eyes. You bring his head forward to your bare breasts with your hands and keep them encapsulated around them as he semi-lays upon you. You could feel the wetness of his eyes leaking across your chest. Yet you do not force him to say or do anything except calmly stroke his hair while staring into the nothingness. “I chased Lucerys on Vhagar and killed him,” sobbed Aemond, as your hands come to a pause around his head. He quickly removes himself from your hold and instead brings you to his head, his hands cupping your head while he directly looks at you, “I swear it was an accident, I swear it was, you have to believe me love, I swear-“ You have never seen Aemond in this state before. He is sobbing, begging, you to believe him. The look of pain is his eyes multiply the sorrow you feel inside, tears streaming and unable to sob your own sobs. He then brings you to lay your head upon the crook of his neck, while he also lays his head upon the crook of your neck. Both of your bare chests, brushing against each other, with dampness felt upon your body. Before today, this situation would have been an incredibly erotic event you and Aemond would experience. But now you are both laid vulnerable against each other.

You both just sit like that for however long you forget; the tears finally stopped and limbs are aching but still no desire to unravel from each other. You don’t even separate during the ceaseless knocking of the chambers’ doors. What separates you both is the voice of the Dowager Queen Alicent Hightower outside. Knowing your time has come to an end, you to slowly loosen from each other and limp to get each other look presentable. You unlock the doors, and Alicent Hightower couldn’t hide the disappointment in her face when she looks at both of your states. Otto Hightower however, looks tense, his looks more questioning. They both insist on speaking to Aemond alone and almost physically have to hold you away from him to do so. He eventually leaves, but not before promising to come back with answers. So, you wait. Alone again. You don’t know the complete truth of the events that have occurred, but you are aware that the war of ravens has ended quicker than you hoped to. While it should have been joyous news, you only know that the end of the war of ravens only paved way to actual war. On foot. On dragonback. A dance of dragons you could say.

A while later, Aemond returns, swifter than you expected, taking a seat next to you on the chaise. He stares at you, while you continue to stare at the empty hearth. He approaches you as gentle as one would approach a wounded animal and holds your hands within his palms. Not knowing how to break out of your trance, he just starts speaking.

“I went to the Stormlands yesterday to broker a marriage deal to gain allies for Aegon.”

Your mind spins with this information. Marriage for whom? Your head suddenly snaps to look at him. Startled by your alertness, Aemond panics, “Let me explain, my grandfather wanted me to marry one of the Baratheon girls and keep you as a hostage here to keep Daemon in check.” You thought you were about to cry. Hell, you could have cried if you weren’t thoroughly dehydrated. Is that why Aemond missed your dinner last night? If he was willing to disregard your marriage, then why did he make those promises anyway?

Aemond, still panicking, “I know what you are thinking, I wouldn’t have done that. You need to understand me. I wouldn't have let that happen to you. I went to the Stormlands and offered a marriage pact with Daeron instead.” You let out a huge sigh of relief, believing Aemond. Aemond wouldn’t do that to you. One of his best qualities was his dutifulness, and he wouldn’t forget his duty towards you. Right now, you feel awful for feeling that smidge of doubt towards Aemond, and you start apologizing as small drops escape your eyes. “I am so sorry for doubting you love” you sob. Quick to console you, Aemond shifted himself closer and holds you, “Hey it’s okay, it’s okay, it will all be alright.” Another moment frozen in time within his arms until you feel like you are suffocating. You want to think about something else, and you want to see something else. Anything that could take your mind off of this. Slowly untangling yourself from his arms, You ask Aemond if he can accompany you to the sept and maybe have yesterday’s missed dinner as lunch. Aemond can’t answer you, his eyes downshift. “What?” “Love, this is for your safety and you must forgive me. It is a royal command for you to be imprisoned-” Your eyes fill with shock again as he quickly starts explaining. “-but once again, I won’t let any harm come to you as I requested you would be contained in my chambers than a cell. By this way, you will be safer from anyone trying to harm you due to my actions.” “But who would want to harm me,” you scoffed. “My father, my father would never hurt me.” Aemond rolls his eyes at your statement. “Love, your love for your father convinces you to believe him to be the person he isn’t. You are nothing but a power chip for him. Don’t you know the rumors? He killed your mother after you were born so that he could be in control?” You don’t believe Aemond’s words at all. You for a fact know that those rumors are just rumors, and your father didn’t kill your mother. In fact, you don’t even believe him to be present in the same place as your mother when she died. And for what, power? Your father isn’t the warden of Runestone until you come of age, it’s your uncles. But you don’t voice your thoughts to Aemond. Instead, you ask, “So I am just your prisoner now?” Aemond sighs and runs his hands over his face “It is nothing like that love. You are not my prisoner. You are my wife. And you will be by my side forever. This is just for your protection.” You still aren’t entirely convinced. Ever since you came to King’s Landing, you didn’t feel the need to fly on your dragon as often as you did on Dragonstone, instead you just chose to visit him and bond with him on the ground. But now, you want nothing more than to fly on your dragon to soar the skies. What’s your destination? You don’t care much about that? Dragonstone? Runestone? The North? None of it matters, you just want to feel the wind upon your face. Aemond steps forward and holds you in a hug, neither of you has said a word. You both don’t know what to say. “Can we at least have lunch together?” Aemond winces again. At tired sigh escapes you, “What now?” He explains he must attend a small council meeting right now and has to have lunch with the king instead. He doesn’t leave before begging you to understand that he desperately wants you to accompany him for lunch, but it would make not just the members of the small council but also you uncomfortable, and he doesn’t want to put you in that position. At this moment, you just let him go. You don’t know what else to do except that. You have no other choice. A dragon treated as a pretty bird in a cage.

Aemond has no time for you now, and you are left alone in your chambers most of the time. Even the maids are in your chambers to do their chores they are forbidden to interact with you. You fall asleep before he returns to your shared chambers, and he leaves early before you wake up. Even when you end up staying awake when he comes to your chambers, he sits by the fireplace, lost in his thoughts, just like you. You don’t even have the opportunity to inquire about the outside world due to this. Nevertheless, even during these turbulences, you don’t question Aemond because you know the fondness for each other still lingers. It lingers in the nights when he holds you close when he thinks you are deep in your sleep. It lingers when he buries his nose in your hair when you are laying down facing the other way. In the mornings, however, you are invisible. Existing in this void of non-information. What is happening over at Dragonstone? Are your siblings mad at you? Does your father think you to be a traitor? Jace once confessed that it was impossible to stop loving you. Now you assume the impossible must have happened then. What is happening on the other side? What is happening on this side? Aemond is supposed to be the other half of your soul, but these days you are apart in different worlds. And last but not least, what are you going to do? It’s not like you have many options, trapped as a prisoner. But not as much of a prisoner as the Greens think. You assume only you know of the secret pathway leading from your chambers to the dragonpit, where you could reach your dragon. If the greens were aware of it, they would be nothing but fools to trap you in these chambers. But once you reach the dragonpit what then? Surely, you can get past the few dragon keepers before but now, it would be near impossible since your dragon would also be chained and guarded more since you are a prisoner now. So, you decide to stay and make a more solid plan before making your escape. You also can’t help but panic about what your father would think of you not making an immediate escape. Your father knows of your knowledge of the secret pathways, in fact he was the one who taught you about it. Would he think you to be a traitor if you don’t immediately join their ranks? What of your relationship with Aemond then? He is your husband, and you are duty bound to him. But you assure yourself thinking that Aemond would understand, or you would make him so. However, a small part of you does wonder what if Aemond doesn’t understand. What if you are forced to wage war against each other on dragon back? Incapable of standing these thoughts any longer, you race to the nearest chamber pot to throw up. Everything you ate the entire day leaves your body, as if your body doesn’t have the power to hold anything else besides these questions in your head. That is another thing you have been experiencing these past few weeks, this feeling of sickness. You feel tired all the time and your body aches all over. You have also missed your moon’s blood, but you chalk it all up to the weight of the position you are in. Nothing drastic has happened due to your sickness so far, so you don’t make a fuss out of it. Until now. You could feel yourself getting light-headed, your vision darkening.

You don’t remember falling unconscious when your eyes slowly start to peek at the world. The first things you notice is the warmth enveloping your hands and a singular eye looking down at you with worry….and happiness? You really can’t make out the proper emotions as your eyes are still adjusting. Aemond reaches out, helping you sit up and even immediately has a drink ready in his hand for your parched throat. Sentient, you take note of your surroundings. You are in your chambers surrounded by a maid, a maester, the dowager queen, and Aemond. And Aemond’s looking…elated?

 “Princess, you are with child.”

You are in shock, unable to believe the maester’s words even though you know it be your most probable condition logically. The master informs you of your diet, medications, and so and so and yet not a single word registers in your brain. You notice that your hand is still being held by Aemond, as he is absorbing every word that comes out of the maester’s mouth. You still are…you don’t know what you feel. To be carrying a prince’s heir? Most maidens would sell their souls to be in your position. Yet, all you could think of is how there is a life inside you now. Its growth and safety is your responsibility. Before this, you believed you could make a correct stance in this war, sure that you could protect your family with no harm done from your actions. Now, you are not so sure you could completely protect your family as one is growing inside of you now. At this realization, you can’t help but cradle your not entirely flat stomach as you now realize. Aemond catches this action and can’t help but try to suppress the grin stealing his face. “Princess”, called the master. You don’t even realize the maester has stopped talking, breaks you out of your thoughts to ask about your concerns. You just stare at him, still frozen in shock. Whether or not Aemond is aware of your tension, he dismisses everyone from the chambers regardless of his own mother. It looks like the Dowager Queen wants to speak to you, but one single glance from her son forces her out, but not before leaving you with a concerned look on her face. The chambers finally empty except for you and Aemond now, he moves forward to sit with you at the bed and simultaneously brings your head forward with surprising gentleness so he can leave a peck on your forehead. His lips don’t stop touching your forehead after the peck however, it continues to stay there for a moment. Finally, he parts form you, but not enough to entirely separate as one of his hands is cradling your head and the other one rests upon your hips. “We are to become parents, love.” Aemond rarely ever smiles like that. He is genuinely happy it seems, which is a rare case but an even rarer case in these troubling times. You can’t help but smile at this fact. You were happy that Aemond was so happy and willing to take this huge step with you. It was a topic you have both talked about extensively before, yet these times made you doubt those conversations sometimes. The small smile breaks into an even wider grin as the fact settles in more. You are to become a mother. You have always loved children, adoring your youngers sibling and niblings to a core. Yet at the news you would have one of your own, one that is one withing your body right now, one that is made of half of you, you are at the happiest you have ever been. You even shed a few tears, and Aemond’s grin doesn’t seem to shrink anytime soon. Both of you continue to hold each other, leaving a few gentle kisses on each other’s faces with smiles etched while repeating “We are to become parents.” Both of you also take some time to gently fondle your stomach while wondering what the child would be like. Would the baby be a boy or a girl? Would the child have sleeked straight hair like Aemond’s own or hair like yours? Would the child’s Targaryen fire be mostly from you or Aemond? Your rage is like a volcano, calmly simmering before the entire thing bursts open and leaves nothing but destruction in its wake. Aemond’s rage immediately lashes out like thunder, with no control at all. So, which one would the child have? But none of it matters to both of you now, only their mere existence is enough to make both of you bubble with joy. However, time does pass by, and it bursts both of you out of your bubble, letting Aemond carry on with his duties once again and leave you alone with your thoughts. Except this time, you won’t be as alone as you thought you were.

You consider the babe to be both a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing, in way that all babes are a blessing. But it is also a curse, as in you are still a prisoner with not much choices, even the small ones you had are long gone now because of the babe. Without the babe, at this point you could have come up with a plan to safely evade on your dragon without alerting Sunfyre and Vhagar, after all you are one of the most talented dragonriders. But in this condition, it is impossible to do so without harming the babe. So, now you are stuck in this momentum of time, the only passage being the small but steadily growing belly and your cycle of symptoms. The loneliness has gotten better, as Aemond has been putting away some time to spend some time with you. He cradles your belly almost as often as you do. You both slowly start falling into the same old routine you had when you were newlyweds, with gentle touches and lingering smiles. It is still harder to make conversations, but the effort is being made, by both of you. Yett you also notice that he is still cautious, not wanting to let you know of the politics happening outside.

Tonight, you both dine together. It is so blissful that you forget you are a hostage in the middle of a war. You enjoy lemon cakes as dessert too much, much to both yours and Aemond’s surprise since you were not a fan of them before. Aemond looks at you with a gentle mocking stare, only for you to remind him of your delicate condition with redness painting your cheeks. After dinner ends, you both take a bath together and proceed to head to bed, with Aemond holding you gently. In moments like these, you can’t help but think that maybe you could endure this. With luck you could even find a way to participate in the war without harming the babe. However, you didn’t anticipate your hopes and dreams to be crushed that very night. Harsh knocks of your chamber’s doors wakes you up with a jolt. You see Aemond immediately reach for his sword and head to the doors. Unable to keep up with the suspense, you wrap your robe around yourself as you follow Aemond outside. The guard says something to him that you don’t quite catch, but whatever it is makes Aemond jolt through the corridors in a hurry. “Aemond! Wait!” you shout as you hurry after him. You don’t where you are going except following the flowing silver of Aemond’s hair. You hurry after him, only coming to a stop after you run into his back. Steadying yourself, the first thing you notice is someone’s sobs. Not someone’s, Helaena’s specifically. The next thing you notice is blood. Oh my goodness, there is so much blood, is it Helaena’s? Is that why the dowager queen is there? Trying to console her from the pain? You scan the room, trying to get more context of what happened hear until you come across a sight that shocks you. The small head of Jaehaerys lies decapitated across the floor.

No, NO!  You are in disbelief. That couldn’t have happened, shouldn’t have happened. Small baby boy. He knows nothing of the world yet. He would never get to experience the joys and sorrows that life has to offer. He is gone, forever. And you would never, ever, get to experience the shy smiles he would give your way. Yous tear gates burst open, leaning into Aemond’s arm as the guards try to inform him about what has occurred. Before, you were so desperate to know something about the world outside your chambers. Now, you wished to remain contained in your chambers so you wouldn’t have come across this horrific sight. You couldn’t tear your eyes of the scene, no matter how much you wished to. The realization that Jaehaerys has really left the world keeps on ringing in your head. Finally, a jarring-enough thought strikes you that forces you to move your eyes away from the scene. Where are Jaehaera and Maelor? Did they have to suffer the same fate? Surely the gods cannot be so cruel. Scanning the entire chambers, your eyes finally land upon them, cowering in the corner. They are shaking, their eyes are filled with so much fear. No child, no, no adult, or no person should never suffer through whatever they went through, but they just did. Maelor, oh sweet Maelor, tries to take a few steps forward to near his mother, whether it be to comfort her to gain some comfort from her. Surely the kids would at least gain a sense of comfort now you think, yet you are proved wrong when Helaena goes into a range. The moment Maelor comes within her eyesight, Helaena becomes a dragon. You never even knew that Helaena, timid but sweet Helaena could ever behave like this, least of all to her own child. It pushes you to pull away from Aemond and run towards Maelor, who in his despair also runs towards you and pushes his face into your body, unable to witness the scene. Soon, Jaehaera also follows Maelor into your arms, almost seems like they want to block out the rest of the world. You agree, they shouldn’t see this. So, you press them tightly against you. Meanwhile, the dowager queen is consoling her screaming daughter. You take in the scene, frozen with the children in your arms. Your eyes meet Aemond’s. Silently, you both agree on the same thing, the children should not be here anymore. Not letting the children go, you drag them to your chambers. You don’t need to talk to them. You don’t need to question them. At this moment, all of you just need comfort and that’s what is going to happen. Both children lay on either side of you, holding each other tightly, afraid that the moment you let each other go one might just disappear. The children’s sobs grow lighter, and eventually completely silent, and then into sleep. You however, don’t even know if you blinked as much. A few months ago you didn’t know you would be in a war, and war would lead to something as cruel as this. What’s worse is you know the offender and who else could it be, besides your father? Can your father really do this? Can he give the orders that would harm an innocent child, a child no older than your own brother and his own son, you wonder. You eventually drift off to sleep, unable to keep your eyes open any longer.

It’s daybreak, and the light simmers through the windows. This could have been a bright day for tea in the gardens while watching the children play. Both feats that are impossible now. You wake up when you hear a few voices whispering beside your bed. Aemond and his mother Alicent are looking down at you and the children. The children have also woken up it seems and lunge into their grandmother’s arms once they take note of her. All three of them leave the chambers, presumably to the former queen’s chambers. Now it’s just you and Aemond, and you don’t think you recognize him for a moment. The way he looked at you, it was new, he had never looked at you like that before. “Did you know?” Aemond questions. Do I know what? Is he asking if I was somehow aware of the murder of a child. A child whom I very much loved which he also knew? Panic sets into you, now you are truly aware that you are still in the nest of the vipers, and whatever your father did stripped off of you you the thin line of safety you had. Tears bursting out of your eyes, “Aemond, love, I swear I didn’t know. In fact, I have no idea what you are even questioning me about. Aemond? Aemond, please” you sobbed. The mangled state of you broke Aemond out of his stance, his hands immediately reaching out to comfort you. “I am so sorry love, I didn’t mean any of it, I was just really stressed” Aemond said as he comforted you. Feeling a bit brave now, you question him about what happened. Aemond tells you about the secret passages, the killers Blood and Cheese, the options, and eventually the conclusion. You couldn’t help but be horrified. This is what hell must be made of, you think. Gods, Maelor might have lived, but how will he ever survive the fact that his mother practically condemned him to death? Jaehaera having to witness the horror of it all. And Helaena, how would her anguish ever let her be in the presence of Maelor again? As a mother, death is a preferable situation to whatever this was. You can’t help but worry over the safety of your own child, as your hands move to cradle your stomach. Taking note of your, Aemond also clasps his hand around yours, both of you cradling your womb. Both of you are worried about the same thing, the safety of your child. You are both aware that this is revenge for Aemond’s actions. If Aemond’s nephews aren’t safe, how is his child going to be? “You listen to me, nothing will happen to you. You hear that, our babe will be fine. Our babe will be protected” Aemond affirms strictly. According to Aemond, it was a son for a son, and a son was already taken which in turn means our own child should be safe. But who could promise that? This is war, and anything could happen. You also notice the safety is exclusive to the babe, and not you. You assume Aemond doesn’t mean whatever your pessimistic part of your brain think he states, but that doesn’t mean you don’t take note of it. You know that your safety isn’t guaranteed here, so you don’t tell him about your previous knowledge of the secret passageways. It hurts to lie to Aemond, but you know you must protect yourself. The babe will be safe as long as you are safe.

The entirety of King’s Landing is in a rush for these past few weeks. The guards are hypervigilant to prevent anything like the dreadful night from ever happening again. The council members are locked up in the small council chambers to actively navigate the war. Even Fleabottom’s in a fuss from whatever you were able to understand from the maids’ whispers, active in the search for the killers. Everyone except you. You are still a pretty bird in a cage. Whatever little hope you had of escaping even while pregnant was thoroughly squashed, as the castle is being investigated for more of these passageways. Months ago, you were terrified of having to leave your birth family. But you were hopeful, as you know you would be enduring a new adventure in the name of your marital family. Now you recognize that you have lost both your birth family and your marital family. You don’t even have your husband besides you in this tumultuous state. Whatever hardships one would endure, both you and Aemond expected to hold each other’s hand through it. Though, your hand is empty right now. But you are still not entirely alone, as your other hand is holding your stomach. You think you have heard that babes could experience the feelings of their mother, and you hate the fact it is so. Your babe shouldn’t feel the kind of barrenness you feel right now, in fact any child of you should never feel anything remotely close to whatever you are feeling right now, whether they still be within you or be as old as a crone.  Even though a few stray tears escape you, you try to bring your hopes up in order to soothe your babe.

A lot of things happen in the following weeks. You don’t know what’s happening these days, just that Aemond’s rushing in and out of your chambers so fast that you don’t even know if he has time to breathe these days. The most contact you have gotten with each other is just holding each other when sleeping, and even those moments of rest are brief. You don’t particularly wait for Aemond most nights, as the babe tires you more than you like. Yet tonight, you can’t catch a wink as you lay rolling in your shared bed. It seems too big now. It’s so late that the sun is going to rise in a few hours, Aemond still isn’t in your chambers, and he’s never been this late before. You did like to think it’s the babe keeping you awake, but you know better. You drink some water, take a walk around your chambers, visit the privy even when you don’t have the urge to. And before you know, this cycle continues until you realize the sun is starting to rise, and you haven’t slept the entire night. You worry about the whereabouts of Aemond, worried that something horrible has happened to him. He is your husband, and it is natural for you to feel this way. But a part of you could feel the anger rising within you too. Couldn’t he set apart the little time to inform you of his doings? Is he so busy that he couldn’t care about the concerns of his wife? Worry and sadness seep within you and you look like death warmed over when the maids enter your chambers for their chores. You could see the worry and pity in their faces, but you don’t want that. What you want is Aemond. Concerned, one of the maids leave the chambers to fetch someone else. You hope that someone else is Aemond, but it is not, it is his mother. The former queen enters your chambers, with a maester in tow. Why a maester? Surely you don’t look that horrible. “Princess, what’s wrong? Are you unwell? Someone questions you, but you can’t yet distinguish whose mouth spews them. Her brown orbs filled with worry, she approaches and slowly tugs you along to the bed. You try to resist, but you are too tired to fully commit to it. However, you persist on your questioning, asking about Aemond’s whereabouts. Understanding your situation or unwilling to hide from you anymore, you can’t decide why the former queen finally decided to just tell you about the battle outside. Apparently, there is unrest at Rook’s Rest, and both Aemond and Aegon have went to dragonback as a response. You understand, battles are a part of war. What perplexes you is that why Aemond didn’t tell you this himself. Is he worried that he can’t trust you? Is he worried that you can somehow communicate with the blacks? What a joke. In less than a year of your marriage, you know you and Aemond have went through some obstacles, but this, this feels like a real crack in your marriage, albeit not a big one, you don’t know if it is one that could be repaired. You don’t voice any of your thoughts to your good mother however. They don’t trust you, they view you compliant to the enemies, so it is only fair that you should do the same. You move to lay upon the bed, and the maester and your good mother follow you, out of pity, you guess since there is no familial love involved. “Leave” If it wasn’t for your lips moving, everyone could have surely doubted the sound to be a hallucination. But you were stern. And commanding. Not wanting to stress you any further, everyone silently leaves your chambers, except your good mother who proceeds to kiss your hair before exiting too. Before, the kiss would have warmed you. Now, you feel nothing.

Aemond returns earlier than you expected. A few days, while you thought it could be weeks at best and months at worst. He rushes into your shared chambers worried about you. He must have heard about your condition from his mother, you assume. “Love, I am sorry for not telling you but I’m back-“Aemond rambles before you cut him off. You desperately sought answers as a man in a parched desert would seek water. Yet, you don’t want to hear a single noise from Aemond’s mouth. It’s almost as if being reminded of his presence stokes a fire in you. The audacity to apologize, while he clearly knew this situation was avoidable. You take deep breaths, trying to move away from him. “Love-“ “Just don’t. Just…be silent for a while, give me some time to figure out how I feel. This is the least you could do” you stated as you moved along to the chaise. Aemond, feels something he hasn’t felt in years, the powerlessness when he still didn’t have a dragon. He is aware of how his actions have impacted you, and he wants to fix this. You want to fix this too. You still love him; he is your husband after all. You have to try and fix the crack or else, you don’t want to think about the or else…you just want to fix this. You want to be in the bliss with Aemond again. You need Aemond. Your babe needs their father too. So, you make the first move, silently inviting him over to the chaise facing the fireplace just through your eyes. He understands, that’s good, you can still read each other’s eyes, you are still in vibe together. Unfreezing himself from where you rejected him, he gently takes a place next to you and tells and tells the tales of the battle. Princess Rhaenys and Meleys’s fall; Aegon’s miraculous escape from death. You experience a range of emotions regarding this news. The Blacks have lost a huge part of their banner, but so do the Greens with Aegon’s fall. It’s almost as if they are even, but you know the tides have changed. You are still puzzled about whether this is good or bad for you. Good or bad for your babe. Your hands move to cup your belly, a habit you notice that you are growing accustomed to. You also notice something new about Aemond, another recurring habit that you don’t want to encounter anymore. You know why, your heart is just slow to catch upon it. Aemond is the king regent now. It is practically everything he wanted, power. More power than you could give him as Lord Consort of Runestone. More power than he could have realistically ever achieved if not for this war. While this war is bad for you and everyone, it has been good to Aemond. Maybe that is why you could see the slight glimmers of madness in his eyes. Yes, both of his eyes. In the past, everyone besides you thought the sapphire eye was intimidating, while you thought it was beautiful. Now you could get these tiny peaks about what they were talking about. You are also aware that not a single apology has left Aemond’s mouth during this whole conversation. Well, not a meaningless apology just stated as words so that it would be done and over with. You are not entirely sure he even feels guilty. You want to elaborate on these feelings vocally to demand the answers you seek.

“Aemond, you still haven’t answered why you couldn’t tell me before you left. I was worried sick while you were gone. I don’t even know if you were aware of how troubled I would feel when you left, especially without a single word during these worrisome times” you condemned gently, not wanting to kindle the fire. “I am so sorry you feel this way. I knew you would be worried, of course you are my wife, why wouldn’t you be? But, the matters of war, the matters of war love, you don’t understand. If I had informed you before of my aims at Rook’s Rest, you would have been under duress even more and that could have in turn harmed the babe more. Nevertheless, if you still feel hurt by my actions, I apologize, I presumed your feelings wrong and hence I will put in more effort to not keep you in the dark more so hereafter” Aemond says. Even though it is an apology, it doesn’t feel like one. You want to continue kindling it, but you know that is not the step you need to take to fix the crack in your relationship. Aemond does feel sorry enough, and he must be tired too. You are tired too. “I am tired, Aemond.” “Me too love, me too,” he says as he moves forward to hold you, and you let him.

If you thought you were alone before, you are proven wrong now. Before, without Aemond’s presence in the castle, you thought you were as alone as an explorer lost at sea. But Aemond with the Conqueror’s crown upon his head, that’s when you are dragged beneath to the deepest parts of the ocean where one can see nothing but the darkness.  Even the mere glimpses you caught of him before are non-existent. Nonetheless, you still hold onto hope. He is alive, he is well, as well as one could be during these times, and most of all you could still see him. To relieve himself of stress, he often rests his forehead upon your stomach these days. And that’s all you need. That’s all you need to know that it is still your Aemond underneath all that, and your Aemond still exists. Yet, good things come to an end, and you had to relearn this as all of this once again changes one day, when he has to physically leave the castle. He is leaving to takeover Harrenhal. You tried to take comfort in the fact that he at least informed you beforehand, unlike last time. You are also worried that this might take a bit longer. You are also more worried about the fact about his safety now. Even though he rides the largest dragon in the realm, he is the only dragon rider of his action now since the fall of Aegon. Dreamfyre and Tessarion’s riders exist, but they both exist in their own circles now, leaving Aemond alone. But before he leaves, you two share an intimate dinner, filled with silken words, lingering touches, and longing stares.

Through your tears you whisper, “I love you. I love you so much Aemond. You have become deeply rooted in my soul more than I would ever want someone to be part of me.” A few tears slip his eye too. He kisses you so deeply that it knocks the breath out of you. After spending several hours making love, you both are now content enough to rest gently within each other’s arms. Yet, you are both afraid to close your eyes as you would then have to wake up to what tomorrow brings.

Without Aemond, you are a prisoner of the greens, and that is a fact. One of the queen’s ladies and a trusted knight follows you everywhere, not leaving you a moment alone, during your daily walks as recommended by the maester for the growing babe’s health. You were elated to learn of your new freedom, only for it to be extinguished very soon. The moment you step out of the chambers, you feel more like a prisoner than ever staying in. The stares, the whispers, and whatever other judgement others reign on you, could brave it through. You are not alone, you have your babe with you, you say to yourself. Your babe, the only thing constantly on your mind now these days as you don’t want to think about everything else that is happening. Aemond, from what you have heard, is wreaking havoc upon the Riverlands. Cruel acts committed by him makes you question is it even possible that they are talking about Aemond. Maybe you just heard it wrong. But no, it is no mistake, much to your displeasure. At first, you thought the looks of disgust you were receiving from the others were due to your father, in fact it is only natural for them to hate the daughter of their enemy. If not for you, Aemond, a prince of the realm, had more choice in brides which in turn had more choice for allies. However, you were surprised to learn that the looks of disgust you had been receiving was due to your husband. They can’t show their disgust to any of the royal family members due to repercussions, so they can only take it out one person who can’t be defended, which is you. Still, you persist. Even though you could feel your love for Aemond wilt a bit, you think it harsh to judge him without his words. After all, he should be present in his defense. Sorry to say, if only you could have stopped being a fool, is something you would think about yourself in the future.

One day, the stares are too much. The judgements are too much, You just can’t take it anymore. Poor Baratheron bride, is something you keep on hearing around in the castle. Poor Baratheron bride? Did something happen to Daeron? Even though you haven’t been the most familiar with him, you hope nothing horrible has happened to him since he was so young. No, Daeron’s fine, you learn. Apparently, Aemond has gotten another women pregnant, and how woeful of him to shame his future bride publicly. You can’t believe your ears. Your heart beats rapidly in your chest, face drenched in sweat. Your legs can’t support your body anymore, and you crouch down to your knees. A sharp sting originates from your stomach, and all you could think about is how you can’t fail your babe too. You take a deep breath, opening your eyes only to notice you are not in the garden anymore, but in your chambers instead. The guard must have brought you in, you think. The former queen comes rushing in with a maester in tow, and you notice the lady talking in hushed whispers to the queen as the maester kindly guides you to relax against the bed. Her eyes scan you with worry, truly displeasured at the events that have occurred. The maester is trying to assess your damage by asking you questions, but no sound leaves your mouth except pained whimpers. If only you could see how you look right now. You look so apart from the young girl who arrived to King’s Landing on dragonback. Your bloodshot eyes, hair pulled apart from your elaborate hairstyle, just hunched down and coveting the babe. The realization sets in, that he lied to you about the marriage proposal to the Baratheons. Even worse, he now has a mistress and is also expecting a bastard from her. Bastard. One of the primary motifs in this whole war, even before your birth. Is your babe a bastard now too? All of these thoughts are poisoning you; poisoning your babe too. Grasping that you are in no state to be calming down, the maester forces you on a low dosage of milk of the poppy. Blacking out, the only thing running in your head is how you have now been continuously been betrayed and made a fool of by the man you thought the whole world of.

[lillyfics]

Masterlist

Aemond Targaryen:

Soaring through the Skies: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

[lillyfics]

Soaring through the Skies || Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Summary: The trials and tribulations in the journey of your love with Aemond.

Chapter 1

Author's Note: The angst dosage increases this chapter as a side effect of listening to Paris Paloma when writing :(((

TW: swearing, sexual violence, angst, heartbreak, violence, child death, infidelity, death, references to smut

Chapter 2 (WC: 3325)

Time flowed, you are no longer a maiden, and the ceremonies came to an end. Slight sadness crept into you. The family you had so far will finally leave you, and you are handed over to a new family. You would also be expected to make a family of your own soon. Hugs and tears were exchanged with everyone. Well, everyone except Jace. Jace left as soon as possible on Vermax, making up excuses that everyone in your family knew to be lies. You were saddened at the fact that this is how your beloved friendship came to be in the end. However, the devastation really hit you once you realized that your father won’t be by your side anymore. He won’t be able to fly besides you anymore. He won’t be there to protect you anymore. He won't be there to teach you anymore. Nevertheless, your father had more faith in you than you did. “You are much more than the dragon of the Runes, you are my daughter.” These words did shock you as you understood his expectations to be that he would want any child of his to be like him, independent and strong. Yet, he was able to compromise with you by stating that he’s on your side, always. Goodbyes came to an end and disappeared across the sky and the shores, yet you were still unable to move. And when you eventually moved, you weren’t as sad as you expected yourself to be because now you had Aemond. And with Aemond you knew you would never feel desolate again.

Aemond’s love was the storm that would flood hell over. Aemond’s love was the forest fire that would leave nothing but ashes in its way. With Aemond, you expected nothing less. You only experienced the height of emotions with him, whether it be joy, or passion. You also find yourself loving the little things. He brushes your hair every night. You help him get ready for training every morning. Neither of you can’t even maintaining a little bit of distance from each other even in deep hibernation. An arm thrown over, leg slotted between thighs, or face buried in hair.

When Aemond’s busy, you find yourself spending time with Helaena and the children. You have always loved children, and you have always loved Helaena. So, children from her made the passage of time invisible to you. You seemed to be finding yourself spending some time with the queen even, as it seems like she is desperate to spend some time with another woman in a meaningful way. You are sure she loves Helaena, but she also understands that Helaena should be dealt with a delicacy that you do not require. Time to time, you also spend your evenings enjoying the time spent with the whole family, whether it be in the gardens or in the dining hall. Despite the discrepancies, even Aegon manages to draw a few giggles from you. The queen ranting about her duties. Helaena struck with fascination of nothing and everything. Children and their remarkable queries. Loud and crowded is what you would describe it as. You don’t hate it. Your eyes look for Aemond, only to find he is already looking at you. Unlike the first time they met at the dining hall a few months ago, they reflect your emotions, like a mirror. Is this what our future would look like one day? Filled with children and giggles and talk of duties among them? It sounds like a lot. A lot that once you would have thought unmanageable, even with your father by your side. But now, you want to fly to that future as quickly as possible knowing that Aemond would be by your side. And with Aemond, any pain would be feasible.

All you could hear was a gentle thumping sound. Your hair spread out on his chest as you lay your head upon his heart, both naked as the day you were born. “May I know the reason for your smile, my love?” asked Aemond. There were many reasons behind that smile, but you couldn’t form a single coherent thought. Was it the feeling of safety? Was it the feeling of warmth? Or was it love? You didn’t know you could ever feel something like this before. You looked up at him and said, “I love you”, which didn’t do the justice of explaining the concoction of emotions you felt, and you hoped your eyes would do that instead. He seems like he understood, as his eyes reflected the emotions you felt as he leaned forward to kiss you. It was a kiss that wasn’t filled with heat like before, but instead with patience and love. A kiss that you could keep on continuing till the end of life. But like all good things, it must come to an end.

You and Aemond are both early risers, but when Aemond heads out of the chambers to train himself you tend to stay within your chambers and prepare yourself for the day and bless yourself with menial tasks before you head out. However, this morning, something seems amiss. The maids who are chatty seems to have an air of nervousness around them. Even the guards seemed to be on high alert this day. While you don’t want to intrude upon, your instincts tell you to do otherwise. You start with the maids. “Do either of you want to tell me what is going on?” One of the maids, Clara, a seventeen-year-old girl who recently started working in the Red Keep, was bursting with the urge to tell you everything she knows because you were like a friend to her. As both were lonely young girls who recently moved to King’s Landing, you both bonded over learning or in your case, relearning the livings of the Keep. “Princess…” she stuttered nervously before one glare from the older maid shut her up. “What?”, now you were really intrigued. The older maid said “I am sorry Princess, it isn’t within our rights to tell us this, we are under strict orders of the Queen to not let you leave and it would be better for you to learn of the news from your lord husband.” You tried to leave your chambers, but the guards stop you from trying to leave, with apologies leaving their mouth. To hell with their apologies. You didn’t need apologies, you needed answers even though your gut already tells you that you know. Sensing your discomfort, the maids hurriedly finish their chores and leave the chambers, leaving you alone. You were always pragmatic, a quality that made you one of the most eccentric Targaryen princesses. You guess, no you know why everyone is acting like this. This act means the king is dead. The climax of this drama that everyone knew was coming, but found it difficult to accept. You couldn’t blame them either, as you possibly couldn’t have made a proper choice in this situation either. You know you should always be by your father’s side, doesn’t matter whether he is right or wrong because you know he would do the same for you too. But just because you should doesn’t mean you could or would. You were also the Lady of Runestone, and as the Lady of Runestone you should make a decision that would benefit the people. That is your duty, and truth to be told you weren’t completely sure that Rhaenyra would be the perfect queen, no matter how much you loved her. She has her own flaws, she is human after all, albeit be one that is closer to god.

All Targaryens are. But what about the other option, Aegon, the second son of King Viserys. Isn’t it also his birthright? However when has even acted like he desired his birthright? Plus Aemond, how did he fit into this? What role does he have in this story and how are you and him going to get through this. You have a duty to your father, duty to the people, and your duty to Aemond. At moments, like these you couldn’t help but despise the late king Viserys. He wasn’t a good uncle to you, but you could chalk it upto the fact he was a tired and an ill man trying to run a kingdom. But what about a father? His blatant imbalance in the act of fatherhood is the reason behind this mess. You couldn’t even give him the courtesy of being a good father to Rhaenyra, as from what you know he practically ignored her the first fourteen years of her life until he finally made her heir. However, you decided that even before his death that his worst was never doing anything to mend the relationship between her and his children from his second marriage, which eventually left her in an open field with no defenses, which in turn sets her up to be a failure as the heir to the iron throne. Your speedrun of thoughts were interrupted by the sudden opening of your chamber’s doors, as Aemond came bursting in. Without a second thought you rise up to meet Aemond, as he also moves forward towards you. Needing comfort, you raise your arms up to hug him, and was surprised to learn that he was also trying to pull you into one of his own. It seems that he craves the comfort too. You and Aemond just stayed in silence within each other’s arms. A few moments pass by before Aemond breaks his arms from around you and instead cups your face with them instead.

“The King-“

“I know”

 A few more moments pass by before you tug him along to the chaise, not letting go of his hands yet. “I had to chase Aegon across the sept, as he was trying to ignore his duties as usual,” states Aemond, hoping that you would agree and provide a sense of support to him. However, the gears in your head were working overtime, finally putting all the pieces together. “Isn’t Rhaenyra the heir chosen by the king?” you questioned. Aemond scoffed, “The only good thing the former king has ever done was to bind our souls together.” You agreed, but at the same time you didn’t. The lords across the realm swore their oaths, and your views were that breaking oaths were an unforgivable sin. Aemond however contradicted saying that oaths can, and should be broken for the betterment of the realm. While not entirely convinced, your conversation with Aemond slowly paved way to an argument; your first ever real fight with Aemond. The fight continued, words were exchanged, and you ended up realizing how determined Aemond could be. Yet you were your father’s daughter after all, not one to accept defeat. Eventually, teary-eyed, you both came to a compromise, at least you think it is one as Aemond didn’t want to see you in distress. The official order continues, you aren’t allowed to leave the Red Keep or get in contact with anyone outside the Red Keep, yet you don’t need to support Aegon as king vocally nor need to attend the coronation. “Sounds like I am prisoner then” you state melancholically. You think you could do more. You have a duty as the Lady of Runestone, and you have duty as the wife of Aemond. You are struck with disappointment about yourself as your love for Aemond had won over. With these thoughts, you hide your face in your hands, as few stray tears escape your eyes as Aemond proceeds to leave the chambers. Aemond, saddened by your situation as much as you are, is aware that both of you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. He doesn’t want to hurt you, but he also knows that his grandfather is going to be disappointed as he was highly dependent on the support of Runestone, and with that the Vale follows. He expected the war of the raven would conclude sooner the moment Rhaenyra and Daemon realize that they lack the support they think they have. Keeping his thoughts to himself he stops by the doors as he is trying to leave, just hovering.

“Avy jorraelan”

 You would have almost thought you imagined it if you didn’t see Aemond still by the door, looking at you with despair in his eyes. The silence continues, as you can’t bring any words out of your mouth. Unable to meet your sad pools any longer, he departs.

But as time constricts, they carry on with the coronation, with or without you. Lord Otto Hightower and the Queen- sorry, the Dowager Queen Alicent are dissatisfied, but don’t want to be bothered with your situation right now. However, they still believe that you can be turned around for their cause, and are expecting Aemond to push you in that direction. They also however strictly infer in their talks that other measures have to be taken if you soon don’t bow to their will. You also have very little contact with the outside world. Aemond enters, stays for a short amount of time, and leaves the chambers as quick as he comes. You and Aemond also don’t have any talks besides basic formalities, in fear of reigniting the fire. Besides Aemond, the maids visit your chambers to perform their chores but they also leave without interacting much without you, sensing the tension. Hours pass, and you are aware that the coronation is going to happen soon, as Aemond gets ready in your chambers. It’s almost like his own chambers are abandoned for yours these past few months. For these few hours, you could only hear your own heartbeats, never having felt this way before. Even though this event’s happening is of no control of yours, you feel like your mere existence at this moment is a betrayal to your father, to Aemond, and even to yourself. Aemond leaves without any words, leaving you alone. You sense that he is still disappointed in you for not taking his side, but you are discomforted by the fact he isn’t able to see from your point of view. Wallowing in your self-pity for these past few hours, you failed to notice the weird change in environment until Aemond bursts into your room, as his eyes desperately seem to search for you. You notice there is something different in his aura, the first time you have seen him look like this. “Love, what’s wrong?”, you inquired at the same time he exclaims “Oh good, you’re here!” as he pulls you forward in a bone crushing hold. You let him wrap his arms around you, but his exclamations only rise a few questions out of you. You notice that he looks on the verge of anger and smells of dragon. You try to tilt your head up, ask your questions, but it is almost impossible to be released from the hold he has on you, his fingers tightly curled in your hair. He finally frees you, exhaling, “Princess Rhaenys escaped on dragon back while interrupting the coronation.” So that’s where the coronation was, at the dragon pit. Although it should be expected, you were surprised to find that like yourself, she too was held hostage. Now you know the reason behind Aemond’s aura. He thought that you too have escaped like her.

After convincing himself that you won’t leave, and even if you wanted to you possibly can’t due to the fact there’s no possibility to, or at least he thinks so for now, he finally leaves you alone again to attend a small council session. At this point, you feel like there is a void starting between you and Aemond, but you assure yourself that this is nothing except due to temporary tensions due the King’s passing and the choices between heirs. You believe that soon the war of ravens will come to an end and soon after that you and Aemond could achieve the sort of peace that was the topic of your many late night conversations. However, your eyes fail to mask the hopelessness you feel and Aemond notices it. At this point in your marriage, you and Aemond have become well-versed in the art of reading each others’ eyes, making it almost impossible to hide each other’s emotions. Stepping forward, he pulls you to gentle embrace, different from the one in the morning. In this joining of your arms, your hearts beat as one. Leaning his forehead against yours, he just looks into the pool of your eyes, hoping to convey the emotions his words couldn’t. Your lips couldn’t help but curl upwards, no matter how much you want to suppress it. He responds back with a smile of his own, a smile that is only reserved for you. You realize it will be okay. Maybe the future you dream about won’t be just a dream after all. As moments pass by, he finally realizes that time isn’t moving any slower and he has to leave. He also promises to have dinner with you tonight, just the both of you to rekindle your love.

After experiencing these past hours of loneliness, you are more than happy to look forward to your shared dinner tonight. You decide to fix your hair, add some powder to your face and some perfume to your body to give a semblance of what a normal dinner you would be having with the lack of political tensions. However, a sense of dread fills you as he doesn’t show up as the sun sinks lower and lower into the sky. Your patience finally comes to an end when nothing but the twinkles of the stars alight the sky. You leave your chambers, not alone but a kingsguard is made to follow you everywhere around the Red Keep as you look for Aemond. As you walked around, the members of the court start to give you weird looks. You have received judgment from the small council before, but now it almost seems like you either disgust them or rather they pity you. You hate being judged upon in this manner, as you decided to ignore them and continue your search, hoping that when you and Aemond are within each other’s reach, everything will be okay. Not even the convictions of the court’s members could bring you down. After searching the entire castle, now exhausted, you realize your first mistake was not asking the kingsguard about Aemond’s whereabouts. You assume he might have just told you. However, guilt fills the good ser’s features, repeating the same phrase you heard the other day. “I don’t think you should be hearing this from me my princess.” As you round the castle again, you end up learning that Aemond is not even in King’s Landing, and neither is Vhagar. You try to enquire the dowager queen Alicent about it but it seems like she is avoiding you on purpose to deflect your questions. Her servants decline you a meeting with her. In an anger, your journey ends with you in your chambers, filled with discontent. The pit of your stomach informs you that something is wrong. Locked alone in your chambers, you reject the offer to have dinner by yourself and decide to lay down on the bed and wait for Aemond. Nevertheless, your inability to control your emotions forces a sob out of you, which ultimately tires you and leads you to a deep sleep, still dressed for the dinner. As the moon takes its place, and the hour of the ghost passes by, you are woken out of your deep sleep as you feel a shift in the bed. Adjusting your eyes, you see that Aemond, sopping wet, sitting on the edge of the bed. You also notice that Aemond’s eyes now contain a look that you have never seen before. A haunted look.

“I killed Lucerys.”

High Valyrian Translations:

Avy jorraelan- I love you

[lillyfics]

Soaring through the Skies || Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Summary: The trials and tribulations in the journey of your love with Aemond.

PLS!!! READ AUTHOR'S NOTE UNTIL " :) " IF YOU DON'T WANT THE ENDING OF THE SERIES TO BE SPOILED!!!

Author's Note: This is literally my first ever fic so don't be too harsh :) The only reason I am writing this fic is that I have read too much Aemond x reader fics where he cheats on with Alys and there is no happy ending for the reader. Like why does every fic I read with that topic just breaks my heart :((( Anyway I decided to write a similar story where the reader gets as close to a happy ending as possible :)

Chapter 1 is a lot of characterization and very little plot :-))

TW: swearing, sexual violence, angst, heartbreak, violence, child death, infidelity, death, references to smut

Chapter 1 (WC: 2159)

His eyes enchant you. After all those years spent at Dragonstone, you thought you would forget what it felt like to be in his presence. But at that moment, when his eyes met yours at the training ground, you felt yourself sucked back into the whirlpool of emotions with an even greater force. Initially, you thought you were the only one whose heart was stuck in a storm, but you later learned that Aemond’s heart was in a similar situation too. During the courting period, he confessed about the love he held for you too. At that time, you felt warmth. You allowed yourself to hope that someone would keep you afloat. But now, you were mortified and nearly ran back to the castle and kept yourself busy under the guise of preparing yourself for the petition. Your sisters kept prodding you about your nerves, but they thought it was just jitters about being back in court. Your father, the rogue prince, was the only one who noticed your unease, but kept silent. There are many things you love about your father, but you believe that his best quality was his ability to understand you. Growing up without a mother, he was your sole guiding lamp in the dark abyss that the world is. But he also didn’t believe in commanding you your every step in life, as he once said “One day you will fly on your own issa tala, and I wouldn’t be able to be there when you are soaring the skies.” He also reminded you that you are the Lady of Runestone and one day you would be a queen in your own right.  Knowing that interrogating you would do no good, he just left you alone to your thoughts and knew that would come to him when in need of help.

With everything that was happening, you couldn’t think Vaemond Velaryon’s petition could get worse, but as every minute grows you are proven wrong. It finally ended when half of his head rolled on the floor, courtesy of your father. This day was a strenuous one, and not just for you. Just when you thought everything was resolved the day has had its fill of surprises, the king commanded a betrothal. A betrothal between you and Aemond. While your eyes were filled with shock, his were…blank. It held nothing. The wedding was to happen in two weeks, in an effort to elongate the period of peace between the green queen and the heir to the iron throne you guess.

Began the courting period, spinning with emotions. You were just learning to spread your wings, you can’t fly yet. Your time had been cut short by a person who did not know you, nor care enough about what you felt and saw you just as a piece in this grand game of cyvasse. You also understand that as piece, you are not one of those that commanded, but one of those that served. Knowing that conflicting with this choice would bring you nothing but trouble, you moved forward to acceptance. This is what it is. A habit your father tried to break you out of. He believed that we are a true pair of father and child in the way we had similar flames stoking us. The way your cunningness seared through you that made you capable of outsmarting your siblings. The way determination gilded you to achieve a task that your mind commands you to. The only flaw of yours is acceptance.

Then the period of courting begins. The fact it is even called that makes your stomach ache with laughter. A courting with no choice you believed to be. During this period, you go through a plethora of phases. After the initial shock to acceptance stage, curiosity won over. Curious about Aemond. You remembered that his eyes were devoid of emotion. Is that how he felt? Nothingness? Just a duty? You think you could live with that. Duty could sprout into comfort and then transform into love. Yet, doubts persisted. What if instead of indifference, he was against the betrothal? Did he have another love? Did he think you weren’t beautiful enough? Did he think you to be timid? You tried to make content with these doubts so that you wouldn’t be troubled in the head. If he had another love, there was no way she could hold up to you, as you are the Lady of Runestone and he, a mere second son. Aemond was anything but ambitious, someone who would seek to increase his standing. The only way his legacy would ever be part of this great game were if his heirs were to be from a powerful woman, and you are anything but not that. After the Queen, the Princess of Dragonstone, and the Lady Jeyne Arryn of the Vale, you were one of the women in power. Or you would be one, in the future. If concern is regarding your beauty, he is more than lucky enough to have you, the entire realm would agree on that as you were deemed a beauty by both Valyrian, First Men, and the Andals’ standards. Your mixture of Royce and Targaryen blood gave you your unique features, sought upon by the entirety of the kingdom much to both your father’s pride and displeasure. On the other side, he was known as the accursed prince with one-eye, deemed scornful to be gazed upon. Yet, you never thought it that way. In your eyes, Aemond was nothing less than one of the most beautiful Valyrian gods to stroll through the realm. Even the juxtaposition of his one violet eye and one sapphire eye entices you. In theory, the mixture of your blood should be blessed with the most gorgeous babes. That is what you once dreamed of, with childish hopes. Now, uncertainty plagues you. You still don’t know how Aemond feels about the betrothal since you have yet to have a conversation with him. Even the queen and the princess are radiating happiness together as they divulge themselves in wedding planning and are genuinely positive regarding this union. Your personal opinion is that this wedding is just their excuse to spend time together. Regardless, Rhaenyra has loved you like her own and Aemond was Alicent’s favourite, so they want nothing but the best for this ceremony. From your brief interaction with Otto Hightower, you learn that even he seems to be in high spirits regarding this union. Why wouldn’t he be? The ambitious man would be joyful about gaining access to the Vale. The only ones that aren’t happy are your siblings and your father, but they have their reasons, and you couldn’t judge them for it. You will also eventually learn that their disappointment is for reasons different than you have in your mind.

As the first week comes to an end, you have your dress, venue, and acquaintance with Helaena, Jaehaerys, Jaehaera, and Maelor in order. Satisfaction fills you, but not enough to completely ease you. In that evening as heirlooms from Runestone finally start arriving, realization strikes you which makes you storm out to the weirwood tree. The stunning colors of the garden would usually calm you, but now nothing stops the quiet sobs that spill out of you. You never liked not knowing the future. You always carved your path. First it was the king, now it was Aemond. Lost in your misery, you sat down with hands covering your knees, staring into nothingness, as teardrops roll down your cheeks. “Are you really that miserable at the prospect of being tied to me?” Not a single whisper escaped your mouth, as you were still in the haze of surprise. You just looked at him. With no answer, Aemond made a choice and decided to take a seat close to you, almost touching you but not. “I thought you were the one who didn’t want to share your life with me”, you tried to say mirthfully, but combined with your doubtfulness it almost came out as a wince. Aemond was staggered by your response. He talked. You talked. He smiled. You smiled. This continued until the sun completely set and only the silent rustles of the leaves and the soft exhales of both of could be heard. You are now hand in hand with him, and everything is eerily calm. The calmness you hope that death would grace you with when its your time. Eventually, you were startled out of your calmness due to a rumble. Aemond looked sheepish and stated that the last meal he had was lunch and he just finished training a few minutes before he saw you by the weirwood tree. Now together, you both enter the dining hall. You also know now everything is fine. Everything will be fine.

In a week, you and Aemond grow closer. Spoke of both of your ambitions, your desires, your wishes. Even before interacting much, you knew Aemond would be a perfect co-ruler when you will eventually move to Runestone in a few years. His knowledge of history and philosophy, his commandeering outlook, and his excellent swordsmanship are qualities that would make him a wonderful consort. Ruling Runestone was something that you were less than confident about. You knew you were a just person, yet you doubted how perfect your capabilities would be. With Aemond by your side, you knew you would enrich the Vale.

As time grew closer to the wedding, you became more comfortable. At your happiness, your siblings also started displaying their happiness. While Lucerys and Rhaena were not a fan of the groom, they were able to understand that I was happy, and that makes them happy too. Even little Aegon and Viserys couldn’t stop beaming at being surrounded by festivities. It seems that everyone in the court were combusting with glee. Well everyone, except Jace and Baela. Their hatred of the groom outweighs the happiness you felt it seems. Aemond didn’t like them either, so you never bothered trying to fix that relationship. Aemond even seems to be more possessive of you in presence of Jace, almost growling when you were seen proximal to Jace. “You don’t know the way he looks at you my love.” You simply ignored the comment, thinking that Aemond’s past grudges were making him paranoid. Once again, you were proven wrong. While you and Jace are having a private conversation in your solar, probably one of your last of these kind of talks until he becomes king it seems. You couldn’t control your smiles as you reminiscent on memories of the past until Jace suddenly leaned across and kissed you. Pin drop silence spread across the chambers until Jace spoke these words “I have fallen in love with you, I am still in love with you, and I know it would be for my best to move on but I don’t think I ever will”. Still, you haven’t uttered a single word, just stared back at him. He eventually leaves the chambers, and unknown to you, that will be the very last conversation you will ever have with each other. You would be left wishing that you said something. Anything really. Anything but the empty silence so that your last memory of him could be filled with something other than guilt and regrets. The evening before the wedding, Baela helps you prepare for the celebratory dinner. Your eyes meet at the mirror. One look into her eyes lets you know that she knows. She also is aware that you know. Guilt racked through you once you realized that she wasn’t even angry with you, she understands. She is aware that she is going to face the condition that you once thought you would be the victim of. Duty instead of love. She finished fixing your hair and you turned around. You hugged her. She hugged you back. Few stray tears escaped. In the end, you are both sisters. In the end, both of you are women who have no control of their fates in the grand game of life. However, in the end, you are both dragons. You are both daughters of the rogue prince.

The wedding went without a hitch. Despite the convoluted feelings of everyone in the sept, at the exact moment your eyes meet his, yours evaporate away. The wedding was devotional. The feast was grandiose. The wedding night was…the wedding night was happy. You weren’t previously aware that happy was ever a word to describe such event but that is what you felt. Happiness. Pure bliss. You and Aemond made love. Giggled like children, made love like long lost lovers, even fed a shew tears like you were looking at a tragedy. When you woke up the next morning, you were filled with joy at the possibility that you would wake up like this every morning for the rest of your life. You could only dream.

High Valyrian Translations:

Issa tala- my daughter