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Czesław Miłosz, from “The Song” (tr. Czesław Miłosz), New and Collected Poems: 1931-2001

[Text ID: “Earth, do not abandon me.”]

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growing up I was always afraid of being Found Out. not sure what I was hiding. just my whole self I guess

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There was room in the hollow of my ribs for all the love I wished was mine. I would watch the mother hand feed her child a chocolate, would watch the dawn love the dusk, the moon it’s mountains, the old lovers would banter but hands would never unclench for each others. I had waited a thousand lifetimes to feel this love, to unravel in its purity, but I couldn’t find it. And the hollowness would remain.

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life is so much simpler when you stop explaining yourself to people and just do what works for you

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you are not unloveable you are just sad and a little bit angry. let’s go have some soup

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it's officially spring! :')

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Food is meant to be enjoyed. It is not solely about nutrition. It’s also an joyful, social, cultural experience. You deserve to eat for the sake of enjoyment.

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I am not the girl I used to be. But I never was fiery wild or smart. I used to squirm under the jurisdiction of judgment, and the superstition that everyone’s judging me. I used to swallow the self-inflicted insults and panic when the topic of weight came up. I didn’t want to be perceived, but felt sad when I was alone. I still do. But I am not much of the girl I used to be. I can now convince myself to shut my brain up, focus on the sunshine rather than the clouds threatening to cover it. It doesn’t work all the time but 75% of the time it does.

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Um academic burn-out but I feel guilty because I have an education at the very least and being the daughter of a first-gen immigrant family who still lives in their old country… I feel like I have no right feeling discouraged or feeling disdain towards the academic system… because I have the opportunity

And I have to be realistic and I have to be motivated and I have to try harder and harder because that’s all I have to do.

Tryna to remind myself it ain’t all that bad 😩

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back pain back pain might’ve developed scoliosis back pain back pain my hips are broken

- an ode to my crippling health

On a serious note: I’m getting an X-ray done 💃

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how to people even write full blown stories 😳 that shit hard - let me kiss you plz

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It’s unfortunate that I feel like my poetry has to be sad to be good, because a lot relate with sad but I don’t wanna relate with sad anymore. I don’t really feel like I do. I somehow outgrew that stage of my life, though it does precede me like my own shadow sometimes. I don’t know, I wanna write about… oranges like that one poem from i can’t remember who, but it’s good I swear. I wanna write about smth other than the horrible shit I’ve been thru or felt… it’s kinda hard tho

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Realizing most of my confidence from a year ago stemmed from my (now ex) partner, which means I felt good because I felt like I was finally worth something and when they broke up with me, I tried keeping the same confidence, but I couldn’t. I didn’t. I wasn’t as confident without them. I DEPENDED ON THEM, ON THEIR RELATIONSHIP, TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF??? TO FEEL SURE ABOUT MYSELF??? I FEEL SO BAD ABOUT IT BC I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE and MAYBE IT BRINGS UP THE QUESTION WHETHER I LIKED THEM FOR LIKING ME. CODEPENDENCY AND INSECURITIES AT THEIR CRIPPLING PEAK.

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robert pattinson can pull off playing batman but christian bale could never play edward cullen it is what it is

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I regret switching classes.

- a memoir

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I’m going through a revival with my poetry. It’s like – I can see how bad my writing is. After several years, I can see why it’s so shitty and it’s not even about degrading myself. No. It’s like realizing I wasn’t good at something but I’m willing to make it better. Try something. See it from a new perspective.

Life has been a little wild right now. I’m glad I’m myself but also… damn, I’m not glad I’m myself. But I wouldn’t be comfortable being someone else either yk?