linguisticmajor

[linguisticmajor]

birds are fundamentally fucked up like why should those ducks get control of the skies all they do is yell and shit and occasionally have unreasonable buoyancy like what’s the point of all that

[linguisticmajor]

hey tumblr I’m here to do my first tumble anyways I went to a William Sonoma and there was a guy at the door who works there and he was like “let me know if you need anything!” and I saw there was a fake lemon in a little glass container and I asked if I could buy one fake lemon individually or if they were in like a bundle or some shit and I had to buy a whole lot and he said “let me ask” and then I looked at glasses for drinkming and stuff and then the man comes up to me and hands me the lemon and says “Happy Fathers Day” and it was the best day of my life and we didn’t end up buying anything and I felt so bad because this dude stuck his neck out and gave me a lemon and we didn’t even buy a single thing there were also fake oranges in the pottery barn we went to first that was right next fucking and I wanted those but they were like 40 bucks for a whole lot of oranges like they looked incredible and they looked like recolored fake lemons which was part of the charm I think but they were so expensive so I had fake fruit on the brain it must’ve been a very strange day for everyone involved like my father proclaimed that he needed a drink after I was lemon’d it was a truly magical day anyways on a similar note I think we should bring back exile I think exiling people is a pretty good idea I think