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[lino-jagiyaa]

Screen Identity: Mismatched Passion | EP. 1 PAPILIO ULYSSES

— contains adult content, minors do not interact 🔞 —

“I know we don’t like each other,” you’ve made that very clear, Y/N, “but I will always make sure you’re safe, yeah?”

[ abstract ]: After a rough break up during semester break, you’re put in a class with none other than your longtime academic rival Han Jisung once university starts again. Things don’t get any easier considering he’s your older brother’s best friend and destiny decides to assign you two to a partner project. Luckily, you can distract yourself a little by chatting with the mysterious guy you met online a couple of months ago, getting closer both emotionally and physically with him, absolutely unaware he might be nearer than you would expect…

[ general ]: jisung + fem reader, gamer + stoner jisung, gamer reader, academic rivals/enemies → lovers, brother’s best friend, minho is reader’s slightly older brother, college au, smut + angst + fluff, accidental online dating, inexperienced jisung + inexperienced reader [ real life ] vs simp jisung + brat reader [ online ] so they act a lot differently while chatting, please refer to series m.list for more info

[ warning ]: explicit sexual scenes [includes sexting and video sexting, masturbation (m + f), reader gets called doll, praise kink, mention of choking ], consumption of alcohol and being drunk, mention of break up, cheating and slut shaming (?)

[ words ]: 7.3K

[ note ]: I'm so sorry for the long wait but the first part of my new series is finally here. In case you liked it make sure to leave a comment, reblog or slide into my asks or DMs. I always appreciate any kind of kind interaction and feedback. Also, make sure to read The Experience Project, my other series that is part of the same universe!! Lots of love, Cece 🩷

— Two months ago —

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: gg

You stare at the message. Why is the person you just beat in the last round texting you privately instead of using the group chat?

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: uhm wrong chat?

You have never talked to them before let alone engaged outside of the huge server you’re on, so it confuses you. It’s nothing out of the ordinary but it still surprises you.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: we’re on the same gaming server and you just won the game again, so gg 

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: why are you texting privately to tell me good game?

Seeing the person typing, you wait for an answer before the notification sound echoes through your bedroom.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: no, not gg as in good game, gg as in good girl ;)

Oh, God. You should have seen it coming. Well, it’s better than the usual insults you get on a daily basis for the lame fact of being a woman and men’s ego—or dick size—being so small they can’t handle a female gamer’s existence. 

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: what if I was a 50 year old dude

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: i don’t discriminate by gender or age

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: are you tho

You chuckle. For the first time in several hours. You don’t have a reason today after all. Seojun—your now ex boyfriend—broke up with you out of the blue, not really giving you any good explanations except for it’s not you it’s me or we don’t match as well as I thought.

Since you don’t want to annoy your best friend Hannah who is currently working on her thesis, you decided to drown your sorrows in freshly baked cheesecake, sugary lemonades and a couple of rounds of your current favourite video game.

You feel pathetic but you allow yourself to be that way for some time. It’s better to let feelings out and deal with them before they can turn into a bigger mess or else you end up like your older brother—a wannabe tsundere who starts crying at any slightly emotional scene during a movie marathon.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: No, I’m a woman. That just beat you in a game three times in a row.

You decide to tease that mysterious guy. After all, there’s nothing to lose and you can use a little distraction.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: yeah this is why I decided to text you

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: kinda hot ngl

Perhaps you’re in fact a little pathetic, considering the fact this comment just made you feel flustered.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: Thank you? You’re actually the first guy to say that. Usually, I get insulted on here for being a girl. 🥰

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: sorry about that, some men are just insecure I guess 🤷🏻‍♂️ sometimes I am embarrassed about my own species

Okay. So the person is a man.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: how old are you btw?

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: if it’s okay i’m asking ofc 

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: i’m 22 and you?

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: 23 :)

You just decide to trust him here. Sure, there are lots of creeps out there but this guy seems to be rather decent.

Noticing something else—regarding his username—you keep the conversation going.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: What’s your name about?

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: J.Zero-N-E? Is that some hint at 2NE1?

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: j.One. it’s the letter O.

Huh? You catch a closer glimpse of the name on your screen, shining in bright letters on the dark background. This is definitely not an O.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: But you used the number zero.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: perhaps I’m saving that letter O

The hell is he talking about?

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: For what?

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: it’s what your mouth will be shaped into when I make you come on my dick, baby 

What a fool you are for thinking this man wasn’t like all the others. 

It’s funny though. Or your humour is just broken at this point.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: 😂😂😂

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: Oh, pretty boy please. Don’t think you have a chance here. Has this ever worked on someone?

He types. Then he stops. He types again and sends his message.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: okay, tbh J.One with an O was already taken. but I’m not. i’m single and ready whenever you are.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: Why are you such a simp? Jesus Christ…

For a long time in your life you thought that there’s nothing less attractive than a man that runs after a woman, doing everything to gain her attention while making a fool out of himself.

Until Seojun said something so devastating to you earlier that you realised there’s a worse type in men when it comes to flirting.

Those who make you feel small for your interests and desires. You can instantly sense yourself spiralling again, thinking back to how he told you that you’re too weird and too openly minded all the time, admitting he realised he prefers women who are reserved and perhaps even virgins.

The craziest thing of all this is that you’re inexperienced too. Your body count hasn’t managed to get past the number one but Seojun made it seem as if you were the opposite. He was the one to take your virginity, which just makes this even more fucked up.

But you decide to focus on the conversation with the somewhat funny stranger instead.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: tsk what

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: i’m not a simp wdym

Says the simp. He’s entertaining, that j.0ne guy. You should just see where this goes and make the best out of your evening by chatting with this mysterious gamer.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: you are

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: and a pretty bad one lmao

You notice something else now. He’s got a cute little emoji attached to his odd username and you soon realise it’s an animal too, just like your butterfly one.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: why the squirrel tho?

You see him typing while you take a sip from your lemonade and grab a handful of the crisps that you put in a bowl some time ago, soon realising it’s almost empty again.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: I’m fast ;)

A laughter bursts out of you and you almost swish the crisps bowl down the table.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: sexually speaking this isn’t a good thing…

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: oh god this is not what I meant

You can imagine what he looks like right now—face as red as a tomato while the colour reaches up to his ears. Although you have no idea what he looks like in general. Not that it would matter, though. 

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: you’re calling me god already? 😌

You’ve missed this version of you. The teasing, flirty one that only ever comes out when you feel comfortable around a person. With Seojun it was like this in the beginning too, until he became weirder and weirder with every approach you made towards him.

You’ve been pushing those thoughts aside but thinking back—what if there was another reason for both the breakup and his change in behaviour? You don’t want to believe it, but the bubbling pain inside your stomach tells you there might be a slight chance that he has met someone else. Perhaps even dating another person while still being with you.

Nausea takes over your body. You take another sip from the lemonade and from your water bottle that’s on top of your desk as well, before your eyes shift towards the screen again.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: don’t get flustered, doll. you haven’t told me your name after all.

Doll. You hate to admit but you kinda like that he calls you by a pet name instead. This makes this whole situation even more forbidden. Although nothing about this is forbidden at all. You’re single, you don’t have any history with that stranger, so why the ongoing thoughts?

Still, you decide to lead him on some more, rile him up. He for sure doesn’t deserve to know your actual name just now and besides that, you’re always careful with what information you hand out to literal strangers online.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: you’ve gotta earn that. I don’t give such private information out to anyone :)

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: oh? you want me to beg for it?

You gulp. You’ve always thought you’re more on the submissive side. Well, there was a situation when you asked your now ex boyfriend if you could try switching roles and he looked at you as if your words just made his fragile masculinity crack like a raw egg.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: I’m not surprised at all you’re offering that

That j.0ne guy does give off vibes that fit some submissive agenda. You can tell just by this little interaction with him.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: i’m not. i usually prefer to be the dominant part, you know.

You laugh out loud. Yet again. Wow, you really didn’t expect some random dude online to distract you from that horrific breakup you went through just half a day ago. You could get used to this.

Okay, calm down. Perhaps anything could put a smile on your face after all this shit.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: I don’t believe you lmao

Because you don’t. Not if this man has been nothing but the textbook definition of a simp so far. Not that you complain, though. It’s nice to have someone to give you all their attention despite how selfish it sounds. You allow yourself to be this way for tonight and j.0ne seems to be willing to grant you exactly this.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: want me to prove it to you?

A smirk forms on your lips.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: isn’t this the most subby thing to say

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: i-

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: you’ll see, doll

The use of the name lets adrenaline rush through your veins.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: looking forward to it 🤭

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: well, and until then I’ll just keep calling you doll 😏

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: and show you what I actually mean with being fast

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: fast to make you come

Your ex never called you any pet names—neither when on dates with you nor in bed. If any, he made you feel bad for the kinks you were wanting to explore, always making you feel weird or different about your desires. Almost ashamed, if you’re honest. A shiver runs down your spine at the thought of it. How he made you feel humiliated—not in the good way as you suggested to him, rather mentally and not sexually speaking at all.

You’ve been wondering if something is wrong with you and you’re aware that this guy you’ve been chatting with for—a quick glimpse at the time—half an hour can’t answer that question for you either. But you first wanna start with finding yourself again and trying to figure out what it is that you want in your life. Generally speaking but also from a potential future partner that hopefully isn’t anything like Seojun.

It would be ridiculous to say that you think of j.0ne that way. You literally met thirty minutes ago, he could be lying about his whole identity and live on Pluto for what you know. So, you decide to slow it down, always with the idea lingering in the back of your mind that you want to keep this conversation going for just a little longer.

Despite the fact that this little use of pet names and teasing does in fact turn you on. God, Y/N, you’re touch deprived as it seems. Not surprising at all after these past weeks with your ex.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: what happened to getting to know each other first?

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: why not both?

— Today —

You feel as if someone injected bleach straight into your veins. Perhaps, this would hurt even less than the scene that your eyes are currently witnessing.

His arm is snug around her shoulder, pulling the beautiful girl towards him as if they’ve done this a thousand times before. It seems as if this gesture is familiar, common to them.

You should have known. Well, deep down you did know. Especially since Hannah has been telling you nothing but these exact suspicions for the past two months. Then why is the pain so humiliating if you’ve already grasped it?

Seojun didn’t just break up with you because you didn’t match. He ended things because, apparently, he’s already had another girlfriend. Sure, you can’t prove that he cheated on you and you feel your insides turn out at the sheer thought of it but it hurts nonetheless.

Kim Nabi. Yes, her name means nothing else than butterfly. Your favourite animals. And it seems as if you weren’t good enough for Seojun. But how are you supposed to compete with a girl that looks like a literal fairy and is an A+ medical student?

Meanwhile you’re here, barely passing your classes and cursing yourself for majoring in music production. It’s lots of fun, sure, but you could have done something that’s less exhausting and time consuming for sure.

But Y/L/N Y/N never takes the easy path. And you know you’re gonna be okay. Regarding your studies. Regarding Seojun. Regarding anything else.

“Watch where you’re going,” you hear a familiar male voice spit out, right after the source of the noise bumps his shoulder right into yours, fully on purpose.

You roll your eyes and scoff, “Good morning to you too, Han.”

Calling your brother’s friend by anything but his family name is weird. It’s not as if you’re trying to be extraordinarily formal with him but he should know that you’re nothing close at all besides the fact that he’s been besties with Minho since you all were in kindergarten.

Han Jisung has many faces and personalities of which all of them manage to annoy you on a daily basis. When you were children, he used to either steal your plushies and hide them or tug your hair just for the fun of it. Once you were older, entering your teenage years, he started becoming both a bit distant but also began his manipulative strategies that included scaring off any male individual that came too close to you. Whenever you called him out on it, he babbled something along the lines that your older brother told him to do that. Since Minho isn’t that fascinated about you—his younger and oh so innocent sister—having a boyfriend either, he played along.

So, now you find yourself here, in your third year of college, severely confused and fed up about the fact that the only guy you’ve ever been in a relationship with and went beyond kissing is Seojun. Yikes. Perhaps, if Minho and Jisung had allowed you to have some dumb and even hurtful experience a few years ago you would be a bit better at categorising which men to date and which to stay away from. And you for sure wouldn’t spend all your nights chatting and sexting with a stranger on Discord for the past two months.

“Is he bothering you again?”

Your best friend has been standing next to you for God knows how many minutes but you didn’t notice her.

“What’s new?” you say, rolling your eyes.

Hannah pulls you into a quick but thoughtful hug, “How’re you, dear?”

“Just… I just saw Seojun holding hands with Nabi,” you blurt out, knowing that you won’t be able to hide any emotions or secrets from your best friend. Except for a single one. A very particular one that includes a certain guy you met online and whom you haven’t told anyone in your close circle about.

“What a fucking asshole, I swear if I see him–“

“No violence, Hannah,” you interrupt her.

She gasps. “Who are you and what did you do to my best friend?”

“Funny. Shall we get to class?”

“Sure,” she giggles before she reaches for your hand and intertwines it with yours, pulling you towards the lecture hall.

Once you’re there, you place your bag down and tell your best friend that you need a minute in the bathroom. It could have been an illusion—you wouldn’t be surprised—but you think you received a message from the one and only j.0ne on Discord and for sure you have to see what he’s up to. Since he’s a college student too, school is starting for him today as well and you’ve been thinking about a naughty little gesture that should motivate him to get him through the day. After all, you’re very thankful for what he’s given you these past weeks—endless talks about anything bothering you in life but also hot pics and videos that made it kind of hard for you to not slip your fingers past your pyjama shorts whenever you’ve been having trouble falling asleep at night.

You disappear inside one of the stalls and reach for your phone. You were right. He texted you and it takes every strength inside you to not start giggling in a public place.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: have a good first day of uni, doll 🩵

Conversations with him have been kind of versatile. User j.0ne has many faces and personalities of which all of them manage to excite you on a daily basis. Sometimes the two of you are teasing each other with no end, then you get back to philosophising about life. He’s helped you a lot regarding getting over your ex these past weeks and you wouldn’t want to miss it.

That’s why you’ve prepared something for him. You open your phone gallery and choose the media in question, before you hit ‘send’.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: [ attached image ]

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: you too 😘

It doesn’t take him less than half a minute to bombard you with text messages.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: doll

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: fuck me

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: I’m in the middle of a lecture are you fucking kidding me

Goal achieved.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: you’re welcome ;)

You wait for him to reply again and what follows is everything you ever needed from your number one SIMP. It’s not as if you have anything going on with anyone else, but receiving attention from j.0ne keeps you excited, no questions.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: i indeed am 🥵

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: you’re literally unreal 😫

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: a gift sent from heaven

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: supernatural almost

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: should start calling you an angel instead 😇 

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: or a witch regarding the fact I’m trying hard (pun intended) to hide my boner in class 🫣

A smirk is plastered all over your face and you wished you could see him right now, sitting in a lecture, cheeks and ears flushed red, his cock definitely hard as rock being neglected inside his pants and there’s nothing he can do. Because you’re not there and you won’t be. Besides the fact that you both realise that you live in the same city, you haven’t agreed on meeting—yet. Which makes this even more fun to tease him.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: that red lingerie suits you best

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: everything suits you best tbh with those pretty tits 🤤

The boost this gives for your ego—especially after seeing Seojun and Nabi—is out of this world. However, you shouldn’t miss your own lecture either, so you wrap this up and decide to come back to him later.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: pay attention to the class, j.0ne 🙂

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: text you later!! ❤️

When you get back to the lecture hall, Hannah is already waiting for you, her gaze fixated on a certain someone.

“What the fuck is this idiot doing here?” she asks, pointing at Chan in the distance who is just about to approach you two.

“Your brother?”

“Yeah, or do you see someone else who qualifies for that position?”

“Since Minho isn’t here, no,” you reply.

“We will forever suffer as the younger sisters, hm?”

You probably will. Perhaps, this is one of the reasons Hannah and you get along so well since you both know the struggles too damn much.

“Hey, Hannah,” Chan says, getting closer, “hey, Y/N, how’re you?”

“Fine, fine,” you answer, meaning it. While Hannah—for obvious reasons—doesn’t get along with her older brother that well, Chan and you have been becoming friends throughout the last year since he is helping you a lot with uni because he majored in the same field as you. You’re glad to have him in your life, it’s almost as if he is your older brother too. Not in a way that Minho is, for sure, because you talk about topics with Chan that your actual brother isn’t aware of—for instance the Seojun drama.

“You’re still up for studying tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sure! I didn’t forget in case you’re implying that,” you say with a wink.

Chan places the palm of his hand on his chest, “I would never. Also, just to clear things—I’m here because I work as a tutor with the class that you guys have to take for this lecture and that’s why I listen to the lecture as well.”

Hannah’s older brother has already graduated college, now working as a tutor while partaking in his PhD programme. You look up to him, without a doubt. You barely know anyone who is as hardworking and talented as him and you can always learn a lot from Chan. He says a quick goodbye to you, before he approaches the professor that has now reached the lecture hall and starts discussing something with him.

“So,” Hannah starts, once her brother is out of sight, “you’re up for drinks tonight? The other girls are there, too.”

You’re not sure. On one hand, you love nothing more than a girl’s night. On the other hand, it still feels so fresh to go outside and live life again after the breakup. But perhaps that’s what you need to do to finally get over your ex.

“Count me in.”

“It’s so fucking loud in here, I can barely hear the shit you’re saying,” you scream into Yuna’s ear and she nods. Your choice of words isn’t the prettiest but all the alcohol in your system does your thinking tonight. After all, you saw Seojun and Nabi again, which resulted in your friend group and you changing clubs and heading to this crowded place instead. It's loud, your boots are sticking to the floor and you’ve been dangerously close—three times—to getting someone’s beverages downed all over your black dress.

“Sure, I’ll get another drink for you, darling!” Yuna yells before she leaves you standing there.

Yeah. She obviously did not understand anything you said but you’re not here to complain. You’re already a few too many drinks into the night. Another one won’t do any much more harm, right?

You decide to take a step away from the crowd, walking towards the entrance of the club to go outside for a bit and catch some air. In order for Hannah and Yuna to not worry about you, you text a quick message to the three friends group chat with a weird name. Yunjin, Lily and Minjeong already left half an hour ago, being the responsible part of the group while your best friend, your roommate and you decided to stay here a little longer.

Once you’ve made it outside, you take a deep breath, closing your eyes. It’s nice to calm down for a bit. The situation with your ex let the common anxiety bubble up in your stomach and head but the amount of alcohol managed to push it away for some time. Until you’re sober again tomorrow.

“Y/N.”

You open your eyes again just to roll them in annoyance when you see him. Of course, he had to be here too. Perhaps, your brother isn’t straying that far from him either. It sometimes really feels as if he’s following you and trying to keep an eye on what you’re doing. Chan and his friends aren’t like that. You envy Hannah for that.

“Han,” you say in a monotone voice.

He scoffs, his arms crossed in front of his chest and you can see—thanks to the tank top he’s wearing—that he’s been hitting the gym more often with Minho again. “Still calling me by my family's name after all these years?”

“Well, I wasn’t aware we’re friends,” you shrug your shoulders and look away in the distance.

Jisung chuckles and takes a few steps towards you, until you’re almost caged between the brick wall behind you and his body. You gulp, watching the reflection of the moonlight inside his eyes. Or perhaps it’s just a streetlight. What the hell do you know when you’re in a state like this?

“We’re not? That’s devastating to know,” he bluffs, giving you a pout. Jisung loves the makeup you’re wearing tonight. He always adores all the creative things you do with your face—from the black thick eyeliner wings to the glitter that often decorate your face, but it’s the bright red lipstick that’s threatening to hypnotise him tonight. Fuck, what he’d do to kiss those pretty lips of yours, just to shut you up for once whenever you talk back to him.

Jisung and your history goes far back, almost as old as his friendship with your brother. Despite all the teasing stuff and pranks he’s pulled, your brother’s best friend and you have always been in some rival dynamic. Similar hobbies when growing up and now majoring in the same field made you stay together, soon becoming something other people call enemies. You’re constantly competing with one another and you’re sure most of your motivation in college comes solely from your desire to be better than him in everything.

However, during the past years there has been blooming another aspect between you that’s a bit different. Sexual tension. Although none of you two would ever admit that. Not even while being as drunk as you are right now.

You roll your eyes again. “What d’you want, hm?”

His demeanour suddenly shifts, and does a full turn. Jisung blinks a few times and takes a closer look at your face.

“Fuck, how many drinks did you have?”

“Uhm, three?” You question, while holding up four fingers and squinting one of your eyes.

“God. Drink this here,” he hands you his glass.

“What’s it? Vodka?”

You just take a sip without waiting for an answer, realising his choice of beverage tastes pretty bland.

“Close. Water. I’ll go find Yuna and Hannah,” he says while tilting his head towards the entrance of the club.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom in the meantime,” you announce, before a hick up follows.

“Okay, then wait there, yeah?”

“Okay, Ji,” you say, nodding.

He gulps, before he reaches for your hand and brings the two of you inside the building again.

Once you’re in the bathroom and inside a stall, you grab out your phone and send a message to the man who’s been occupying your mind for some weeks now.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: heyyy you’re up?

You immediately get a few messages back.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: sorry I’ll be right back doll

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: i’m out with friends and one of them needs my help

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: doesn’t know how to handle drinks and all

J.0ne could really be the man of your dreams. Or that’s just the alcohol talking. You wonder what he would be like if he took care of you that way. You’re sure you’d instantly feel safe in his presence. You’re sure he’d make you feel comfortable. You’re sure he’d protect you from all the evil in this world.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: you’re such a sweetie sometimes j.0ne

You can feel heat rising to your cheeks, thinking about him.

Until he sends two more texts and the being flustered gets turned into pure jealousy.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: i’m literally doing the bare minimum

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: she’s had too much and i’m looking for her friends

Hm. So he’s got someone in real life to take care of the way he should be protecting you, huh?

Your toxic thoughts get interrupted, when Yuna and Hannah find you—also severely drunk—ready to take you home. Catching a last glimpse of Jisung—not expecting him to be the one to get help for you of all people—you wave goodbye to him and leave the venue.

Once you reach your shared apartment, Yuna and you take off your makeup and head to each of your bedrooms. When you plug your phone into the charger, you realise you received a message some time ago, probably when you were still at the club.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: i’m back doll

Perhaps it’s the fact you’re still drunk and over emotional from today, but you’re in the mood to start a fight. And user j.0ne is your victim.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: why you textin me when you have a gf

You know this is unreasonable of you but you want to know how he reacts, as fucked up as it sounds.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: gf?

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: i don’t have a gf?

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: why do you say this?

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: The friend you’re takin caer of

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: Is she nt your gf

You feel ashamed. But you’ll apologise in the morning.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: doll…

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: 1) she’s just a friend and I’m just doing the bare minimum so that no men will take advantage of her when she’s wasted in a bar. i won’t be justifying myself for this.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: 2) you’re drunk too aren’t you?

You immediately feel bad for being like this. You feel sorry.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: 1) I’m soryr this was shitty of me. Youer rgiht yea 

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: 2) no I’m as sobre as tomato 

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: the fuck is that supposed to mean??

Well, if you only knew. But nothing makes sense any more after all the emotional torture you’ve been put in and all the intoxication swimming inside your veins.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: I don’t know my head s sipnning lol 

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: Drink some water.

Your Discord man rarely texts with correct grammar and in combination with the dominant vibes he’s giving off, you could get used to such behaviour. Fuck. Why are you getting turned onby some gamer boy telling you to drink water? Is this really how low you've dropped, Y/N?

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: I like wehn you get domniant kike this yu know ;)

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: Doll, I think I just had a stroke reading this sentence.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: Despite that, stop flirting with me when you’re drunk.

You let out a laugh and blame it on being drunk. However, you’re also sad about the rejection you’re receiving although the—currently absent—rational part of your brain tells you it’s the right decision.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: Why???? ;(

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: The fact I have to explain this to you. No sexual comments whatsoever if you’re under the influence, okay? We have an agreement.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: What a shame ;( wuold lov to be with yu rn ngl 

During the past two months there have been some occasions of the both of you dropping hints here and there that you should meet. Still, you haven’t managed to see each other in real life since j.0ne and you are too shy to do that.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: Yeah, me too, so I can make you drink some water and sober up.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: One question: are you at home or still out?

You roll around in your bed, reaching for your pillow.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: At home ;) wear8ng that skimpy red pyjama that yiu love and nothin underneth 

You still can’t live a day without teasing him.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: I’ll ignore this one.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: Do you have some water with you?

There’s a full bottle on your nightstand table which is why you snap a quick pic of it and send it to him.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: [attached image]

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: Okay, drink all of it.

You do as you’re told, chugging down tthe liquid, as you start panting once you’re done. This was a great idea. Your head will thank you for it tomorrow morning. You decide to add another pic of the now empty bottle to the chat with the mysterious guy.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: [attached image]

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: Done!!

And the next message from him starts sparking something inside you—if you weren’t both so drunk and tired.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: Good girl.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: You’re mean J ;((

He is. He knows what he’s doing.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: J? You’re calling me J now?

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: Hmm you like it??

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: I’d like it more if you put yourself under your blanket so you don’t catch a cold and go to sleep. We can always talk tomorrow, okay?

You roll your eyes but do as you’re told.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: Okay fine,,, then I’ll go to sleep and the j.0ne thta alway visits my draems will take care of me isntead hihi 

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: Sweet dreams, baby ❤️

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: Goodnight 🦋😇

You wake up with the worst headache known to mankind and you don’t wanna imagine what it would feel like if you didn’t have the bottle of water before falling asleep.

Unfortunately, you still remember everything. How you saw Seojun and Nabi at the bar. How Jisung talked to you. How your friends brought you home. And how you started a fight with j.0ne for no reason.

You reach for your phone and open the chat, staring at the letters before you switch down the brightness of the screen and activate ‘night shift’ mode.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: good morning

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: I wanna apologise

Of course he’s online, already texting you back.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: for what?

You take a deep breath before your fingers start hitting the phone screen.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: for the comment i made about you having a gf. i was drunk and a little jealous but i’m super happy you’re helping your friend like that. i shouldn’t get jealous over you just doing something any man should do in a situation like this. you did everything right and i hope your friend is okay??

It doesn’t take him long to answer.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: thank you, doll

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: she’s fine, no worries. her best friend brought her home.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: how are you tho?

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: hungover 😅

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: but it’s fine

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: what about you??

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: i’m always in a good mood whenever we’re texting

You roll your eyes while a smirk is decorating your face.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: simp

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: and not even ashamed of it 😌

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: i have something for you

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: a little revenge for what you pulled yesterday morning

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: [attached image]

He put a spoiler warning over the message, so that you only see what picture he sent once you tap on it. Which is what you do. You get surprised with a view that should be forbidden. It’s a picture of him—his toned and tanned abs are visible, while he’s groping his bulge through the grey sweatpants, visibly hard.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: holy shit

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: i have to get up and get ready for uni 

However the hell you’re supposed to do that in the state you’re in and your Discord boy sending you semi-nudes.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: me too baby but i thought this would help you wake up

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: i’m very much awake now thank you

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: fuck look at those abs

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: i’m also very much horny now thank you for that one too

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: that makes two of us

It seems as if j.0ne is always horny. At least whenever he texts you. But you don’t mind. It’s great to finally have someone to live up to your fantasies and dark desires, although it’s not happening in real life. He’s helped you a lot with your… sexual frustration and insecurities that Seojun has caused and you’re thankful for that. In many ways.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: not even surprised tbh

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: you wanna make up for yesterday?

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: i didn’t do anything wrong 😇

You don’t even notice how much you’re grinning, as you turn around on your back and impatiently wait for another text.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: we both know that’s a lie

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: i thought you wanted to be a good girl for me at all times hm

and now look at you being a brat

Oh, if he could only see the pout on your pretty face right now.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: i’m not a brat !!

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: just desperate :(

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: always here to help you darling

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: why don’t you touch yourself a little for me hm

You get up, still sitting on your bed as your ass crashes down on your calves and your knees hit the mattress. Opening your camera app, you switch to selfie mode and guide the focus to your upper body. One hand comes up and starts squeezing one of your tits, while you snap a picture.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: anything for you ☺️

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: [attached image]

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: fucking hell

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: take that thing off

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: i need to see the full view

Just a little bit—you tug down the fabric, revealing your naked chest to the camera.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: [attached image]

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: like this? :)

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: yeah

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: oh god

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: what id do to have my face squished right between these two

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: simp

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: but my favourite one 

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: i need more pls

You know that user j.0ne is already stroking his pretty cock—you’ve done this a couple of times before by now.

Adjusting your position, you lean back and part your legs, placing your phone against your blanket that’s turned into a makeshift wall to stabilise the device on its own. You click on ‘video’ and start filming yourself for a few seconds. The touch of your own fingers will do, at least you hope so, when you start grazing over your mound and wander down to brush over your soaked but covered pussy. 

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: [attached image]

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: you’ve been warned

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: fuck you’re soaking

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: drenched

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: absolutely wet

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: for me hm?

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: just for you

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: [attached video]

Another video follows, you’ve pushed the pyjama shorts aside and j.0ne can watch you play with yourself, just like he asked you to.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: baby

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: what you’re doin to me should be illegal 🥵🥵

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: i wish it was your fingers inside me :(

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: [attached video]

The squelching sounds are echoing through your room and in the video, as you’re trying to fit a finger after another, soon realising it won’t ever be enough. He could make you feel so much better with his pretty hands—one of them pleasuring your pussy while the other is wrapped around your throat, adding pressure to the sides. What you’d do for this to happen in real life.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: i’m so hard doll

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: [attached video]

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: need your lips wrapped around my dick

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: you’d look so pretty choking on it

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: your eyes watering while you’re drooling all over it

The video is like a free five star meal. The grey sweatpants are pulled down enough for his erection to spring free and j.0ne doesn’t waste any time to start stroking his length, squeezing it and letting out little whimpers and moans.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: id make you come so fast i promise

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: over and over again

You keep rubbing your clit with your thumb while three of your fingers are dipping inside your hole, stretching you out just right.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: video call?

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: [incoming video call]

Your heart stops.

But your brain has turned into mush and you can’t think properly anymore. So, you accept.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: yes please

A live version of all those videos is even better. You keep fingering yourself as you watch him stroke his dick faster and less than a minute later, he is the one to observe you coming all over your hand. You let out the prettiest moan his ears have ever witnessed, triggering his own orgasm in the process and you wish he was in the same room with you right now, so you could fully take care of each other.

Heavy panting is reaching the microphones, before he ends the call again.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: sorry for ending the call so abruptly 

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: i’m still shy and all

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: you just came all over your stomach for me and call yourself shy??

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: with talking, doll

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: yeah makes sense :D

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: it’s okay don’t worry

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: we will do everything at our pace yeah?

It’s not as if you are ready yet, either. You adore what the both of you have.

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: of course

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: you were so good for me btw

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: such a good girl

[ j.0ne 🐿️ ]: good luck with uni and have a nice day, baby ❤️

A smile forms on your lips.

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: thank you 😇

[ baby_butt3rfly 🦋 ]: you too ❤️

You’re somewhat normal again when you reach the classroom of your first course today. Sure, the hangover is still unbearable but you’ll manage to get through the day. There are already many people when you arrive, so you just drop down on one of the chairs in the back of the room that isn’t taken.

“How are you?”

Oh, fuck. Perhaps you should have paid at least a little attention when choosing a seat, since you are now right next to Han Jisung.

“Uhm, I feel like shit,” you confess. “Thank you for last night, though.”

It feels weird to be kind to him. Jisung and you don’t like each other. But you think back to what j.0ne said and maybe you’re apologising for your own sake and because you still feel bad for starting a useless fight with the other man.

“Don’t thank me for that. It’s the bare minimum. I know we don’t like each other,” you’ve made that very clear, Y/N, “but I will always make sure you’re safe, yeah?”

Before you have a chance to react, the prof storms into the class and starts with the lesson.

However, you don’t seem to be able to focus at any time during those ninety minutes. Your head is way too far gone—the hangover is getting the best of you, j.0ne is still on your mind and Jisung sitting next to you is confusing you a little too.

Your gaze switches towards his fingers, while you’re watching him take notes. His hands are… pretty. You’ve never noticed. Until now. He keeps tapping the wooden surface and at any normal moment you would be annoyed—after all this is Jisung doing something distracting.

“So, now that you know about the task and project for this class,” you hear the professor speaking, “I want you to pair up with whoever is sitting next to you and come up with a concept by next week.”

You look to your right, noticing only Jisung is sitting next to you since the chair on the other side is empty.

Oh, fuck. This is gonna be an annoying semester.

© leeknowsallyoursecrets 2024 — copying, stealing or translating my work is prohibited

[lino-jagiyaa]

𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚! - stepdad!bang chan x fem!reader

wc: 10.2k

cw: chan is your mother's boyfriend and you want to fuck him, chan is 30 and reader is described to be younger & in college, lix is a menace, changbin is a moral compass, you do not care about morals, SMUT MDNI.

synopsis: you're home for the holidays, and your mother - who you can't stand - has a new, young, hot boyfriend. it's such a good idea trying to seduce him.. right?

a/n: it's so here <3 my first commission! i hope u all love it <3 smut warnings under the cut ofc. i also tried a new format with this fic so pls let me know what u think?!?

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

sw: dirty talk, breeding kink, mutual masturbation, daddy kink, unprotected sex, creampies, degradation, cumplay if u squint?, humiliation if u squint?, anal fingering (f rec), oral (f rec), edging maybe briefly, sex with feelings

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

You hated going home for the holidays.

You were a rich kid, to put it simply. Your mother loved to leech off the men that she was with, marrying them quickly and trying to suck as much money as she could out of them in gifts and straight up cash before they eventually clued on and left her. It had been why your father had left when you were a mere infant, but you’d always lived in luxury due to the incessant payments that he was forced to give. You’d never met him, but there was a plus side - he was paying your college tuition, where you met your best friends.

Perhaps if you thought about it a bit more you’d realise that the only reason you went to college was to get away from your mother. She pissed you off, sauntering around the house in silk kimonos with a maid trailing behind her, pausing to look in mirrors so that she could choose where her next round of botox would hit. She frustrated you beyond belief, but you still had to go home for Christmas. Annoyingly early, too, because she had a surprise for you.

Okay, well, it wasn’t a surprise. She’d FaceTimed you a week earlier, an irritatingly wrinkle-free face popping up on the screen as she sipped mulled wine and revelled in your absence. She had a new boyfriend, she said. You’d love him, she said. Your opinion matters most to me, she said. The last one you knew to be a lie. God, you hated her. 

Still, you lugged your suitcase through the front door and huffed, booting the side with your foot to try and shake some of the snow off. No surprise, she hadn’t helped you in from your taxi. She hadn’t even come to get you from the airport a mere twenty minute drive away. You dropped the suitcase on the floor, giving it another kick just for good measure, and then you were trudging into the kitchen. You’d heard voices from there, so it had to be them.

“Oh, honey!” Your mother chirped upon seeing you. You couldn’t see the face of the man washing dishes behind her, his white shirt sleeves rolled up and back facing you. You didn’t care anyway. “You made it home safe, then.”

“Yeah. The taxi driver was super nice and let me call him mum,” You quipped. She furrowed her eyebrows, lips pursed. 

“Okay, you’re being weird already,” She mumbled, and then shook her head, shrugging it off. She walked to the man by the sink, spinning him around by his slender waist to display him to you. “This is Chan!”

You felt silly, stood in the kitchen doorway in oversized clothes and covered in ivory snow. The man’s eyes found you, shocked by your mother’s harsh manoeuvring, and he blinked with surprise at your figure. You blinked with surprise, too.

Chan was hot. Incredibly so, actually, and he looked young. Younger than your mother, with a big nose you wanted to ride and plush lips parting as he raised one hand to wave at you, still wet with soapy dishwasher. You wanted to lick him clean. The white shirt he wore stretched across broad shoulders, and the sleeves were fit to burst around incredibly toned biceps. You allowed your gaze to wander down, eyes focusing on the thick thighs in the black dress trousers he wore. 

There was no way this was real. “Okay,” You burst out laughing, eyes darting between Chan and your mother. “And, who is Chan? A friend? A colleague? He’s not your boyfriend.”

Chan’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “No, I am. I’m your mother’s boyfriend, sweetheart.”

His voice was deep - too deep, deep enough to haunt your dreams and those late night sessions you had in your bed with your trusty vibrator. This was going to be trouble. You were going to be trouble.

“You’re shitting me,” You couldn’t get the amused smile off of your face. No fucking way. Your mother hadn’t bagged that. “You’re fucking with me. You have to be. Mum, he’s closer to my age than he is to yours.”

“I’m thirty, actually,” He mumbled, looking sheepish. Your mother stared at you in shock, jaw dropped at your brazenness. 

“I rest my case,” You concluded, nodding decisively. When the two of them just continued to stare, you bristled slightly, starting to hop from one foot to the other. Awkward. “You… are you actually together?”

“Yes, honey,” Your mother confirmed, still looking shocked. You scoffed.

“Okay, I really need to go, actually,” You gushed, turning around to leave the kitchen. “I’m- I’m going to my room. Really nice to meet you, Chan, really.” 

Shooting upstairs, you completely ignored your suitcase still leaking snow all over the hardwood floors and darted into your bedroom. It still looked exactly how you’d left it, band posters all over the walls and teddies littering the end of your bed. You threw yourself on top of the mattress, fingers yanking your phone out of your pocket and clicking the button on the most recent group call on FaceTime. Immediately, your college best friends picked up.

“There’s already a problem?” Felix scrunched his nose up, face way too close to the camera. Changbin was on the other side, face looking confused in the little square designated to him on your phone screen.

“I just met my mother’s boyfriend.”

“Oh, right, how did that go?” Changbin questioned, tilting his head to the side. You caught sight of your face in your own little square, flushed and appalled.

“He is thirty years of age, Changbin,” You began. Felix gasped, tiny hand moving to cover his mouth. “He is thirty years of age, and he is really fucking hot.”

“Oh my god,” Felix mumbled, muffled behind his hand. “Oh my god, you have to fuck him.”

Changbin choked on air. “She has to- No, Felix, no!”

“No, I can’t do that. It would be fucked up,” You mused. Or.. “Wait, would it even be that fucked up? He is closer to my age. I hate my mother.”

Felix’s hand fell, and he giggled before speaking in his trademark goblin voice - “Fuck him.”

“Don’t!” Changbin shrieked, his phone shaking in his hand. “I really think this is a bad idea.”

“I think it’s a great idea,” Felix grinned, looking smug. “I’d do it.”

“There’s not a lot you wouldn’t do,” Changbin retorted. Felix stuck his tongue out at him. You, however, were silent, musing on the situation and staring at your wall. Could you do it? Changbin noticed, sighing. “Baby, please no.”

You licked your lips, nodding. You could do it. You wanted to do it - needed it, even. Those biceps were going to plague your life forever otherwise. “Operation fuck my mother’s boyfriend is a go.”

Felix screamed in delight. Changbin ended the call.

SATURDAY

It was time. Your mother was out at brunch with some friends, and you had plans to invade Chan’s personal space because you had a feeling he’d be too polite to tell you otherwise. You knew he’d set up the spare room as his own home studio, because your mother had delighted in telling you how Chan was a super successful music producer and was often tinkering away in there these days. You were going to let yourself in, try to get to know him a bit.

The knock you landed on the door was anything but subtle. Your fist rapped on the door and you heard a little hum in response, so you swung open the door, eyes landing on Chan hunched over his desk. He looked even younger like this, beanie pulled down over dark curls and headphones positioned on his head. He continued to stare at the file on his computer, head bobbing absentmindedly, so you strode up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

He spun around on his computer chair, blinking confusedly at you. “Oh, hello.”

“Hi,” You beamed. “Sorry about last night. I was rude. I was feeling kinda weird, y’know, with the travelling.”

“No, I completely get it,” Chan put his hands up as if to diffuse the atmosphere. You nodded, still smiling. Chan stared at you when you didn’t respond instantly, and you crossed your hands behind your back, pressing against the plaid pattern of the dress you’d chosen for today. It was all part of the plan - the tight, short dress was perfect for seduction. He looked down at your chest, before clearing his throat, reverting his gaze to your eyes. “Um… did you need something, by the way?”

You gasped, as if remembering. “Oh, yeah! I did. My mother told me you were a music producer, and I was really curious. I was wondering if you’d show me some stuff…?”

It was Chan’s turn to smile, nodding excitedly. “Of course. Here, put these on.”

He linked two fingers around his headphones and handed them to you, to which you obediently put them over your ears. He was quieter now, but you could still slightly hear him mumbling as he found a spare chair for you to sit on. Your eyes scanned the files, eventually fixating on a file titled Drive. That one had to be dirty.

“Okay, so. I have this one, it’s my most recent one, and-”

“I want to listen to that one,” You cut him off, pointing at the song. When you turned to look at him, he was biting his lip nervously, pink tinting the ends of his ears and his cheeks. “What is it, Chan?”

“You- that one is a little, uh… heh. A little inappropriate.”

Unsurprisingly, you darted over his desk to grab the computer mouse and double click on the file. Chan squealed, but you ignored him, listening to the song. You were right. It was dirty, the two singers crooning about something that was a thinly-veiled innuendo about driving. It took you a second and then you clicked. One of them was Chan. This was Chan singing, on a song about sex. God, could he get any hotter?

You slid one of the ear cups off of your ear, turning to Chan with a shit eating grin. “This is you singing? You’re really good, Chan.” You weren’t lying. He was really good, and it had you wondering why he was a producer and not singing.

“Yeah, well, it was just an experimental track. Me and my mate were just messing around,” Chan mumbled shyly, hand scratching the back of his neck. You tried to avoid staring at the way his biceps tensed in his tight t-shirt at the movement. He was still blushing, but you had to kick it up a notch.

“It is kinda inappropriate, though, isn’t it?” You chirped excitedly. Chan’s lips parted, as if he was looking for something to say. His eyes stared into your own, piercing and dark and all-consuming. “I think you’re a little dirty, Channie.”

Chan’s eyebrows furrowed at your use of the nickname. “That’s- you can’t say that. That’s inappropriate.”

“What?” You feigned shock-horror. Play dumb. “I can’t call you Channie? Why not?”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” Chan groaned, pointing an accusing finger at you. You giggled anyway, jumping up and slipping the headphones back onto his head. You made sure to trail your fingertips down his neck after doing so. He shivered noticeably. You smiled.

“That was super good, Channie, thank you.”

You didn’t miss his groan of disbelief as you bounded out of the room. You had him, and it was easier than you’d expected it to be.

SUNDAY

Something was happening. You weren’t sure what, just yet, but something was happening. Chan was acting a little weird after what happened the day before, and you’d already caught Felix and Changbin up on the nonsense plan you had. 

“I think you need to accept that this is just down to you having a fat crush on him and severe daddy issues,” Changbin mused, and you gasped. He was right though. This wasn’t completely about getting back at your mother in a sick, twisted way. You wanted him.

Phase two of your plan was underway as soon as you caught sight of him on the sofa. He was watching some cheesy Christmas movie, your mother tinkering away in the kitchen - when had she ever cooked? - so it was prime seducing time. He had one of the thick throw blankets over his lap, fingers playing with the fluffy fabric absentmindedly. You hopped into the living room in your short pyjamas, frowning at Chan when you felt the goosebumps on your legs.

“Whatcha watching?” You asked, making him jump when he realised your presence. He smiled nonetheless, motioning to the seat next to him, and you took it. You perched and ensured that you left no room between you both.

“Some cheesy film. The woman’s marrying a prince, I think.”

“Sounds awful. I can’t wait to watch it,” You smiled, and Chan chuckled, relaxing on the sofa. You managed to make it five whole minutes before you were rubbing your hands up your legs, trying to create a semblance of warmth. 

Chan turned to you, frowning. “Are you cold, sweetheart?”

“Yeah,” You whined, pulling your legs up into your chest. “‘S cold in here, right?”

“C’mere,” He mumbled, reaching for the end of the blanket and throwing it over your lap. You hummed contentedly, inching a little closer under the guise of the cold weather. The blanket was warm. You were kind of jealous he’d been in such comfort this whole time while you’d been thinking of ways to get his cock inside your mouth. 

“Thanks, Channie,” Chan only nodded, continuing to watch the film. You had a feeling he was pretending to be so focused on it, given you weren’t sure he even knew the plot before your arrival. 

You squirmed on your seat, thrashing each way until you found yourself comfortable, hand splayed over Chan’s knee. He tensed under your touch. 

“You’re touching me, sweetheart,” He warned, his voice low and deep. You shivered, turning to him.

“Am I?”

“You are. You’re touching my leg underneath the blanket, aren’t you?”

You hummed. “Is that okay, Chan?”

Chan turned to you, his eyes not even holding any sign of shock. He knew what game you were playing, you realised, and maybe he was playing along. He licked his lips, head back against the sofa, and then he shrugged dismissively. 

“It doesn’t bother me.”

You left your hand there for the whole film. 

MONDAY

The showers at home were something you’d missed. The ones in college didn’t quite cut it - not even now that you lived with Changbin and Felix in your own student home. All three of you were young adults, after all, and that came with you being a little too messy.

At home, you didn’t have to worry about mess. Your mother had cleaners employed with your dad’s money anyway. Admittedly, you realised you were being a little spoiled, so you’d learned to clean up after yourself. The showers were still better, though. Bigger, and the water pressure hit you just right. 

Especially when you detached the shower head and pressed it to your clit. You felt pathetic. You’d only tried to seduce Chan for two fucking days, and there you were, legs shaking at the thought of him. Maybe it was the chase that got you feeling hot, or maybe it was the fact that you might actually be getting somewhere - you might actually be getting close to fucking him, muscles bulging as he ploughed into you. 

It had you pressing the shower head harder, your spare hand coming up to pinch your nipple. You whined, bucking your hips into the water stream. The steam was all over the bathroom by now, staining the shower with condensation and making your skin feel pruned and flushed. Or did you feel flushed from the thoughts of Chan? Maybe he’d fuck you the way you liked. He must have experience, you assumed, being a few years older than you. You thought about how he’d make you feel, how he’d touch you, and how you’d feel in his arms. You thought about how you’d feel when you came, and what it would be like to be with him. You wanted to feel him so badly.

Was he as big down there as he was everywhere else? Sure, he’s not too tall, but he’s every part a man. That much was clear. Would he bend you in half, pushing you into a mating press and fuck you raw the way you liked, cumming inside and letting you call him daddy and-

You wailed, legs trembling with one last buckle before you were cumming. You felt wet, too wet even just from the shower, and you belatedly realised you’d have to wash again. Ugh. This plan needed to end, like… yesterday. 

Coming out of the shower freshly washed, you wrapped a towel around your figure and checked the time on your phone. Your thumb slipped around the screen from the condensation in the bathroom, but the plan was going well. If you left the bathroom now, then hopefully Chan would be heading to bed, and he’d catch you in your towel. Ideally, he’d be so hot for you that he’d just have to have you, and then you could get the thoughts of him out of your head.

You burst out of the room in a flurry of steam and movement, almost tripping over your own feet when you noticed that it had actually fucking worked. Chan stood stock still at the other end of the hallway, his eyes fixated on the way the towel wrapped tightly around your chest, at risk of falling. You smiled, waving innocently, and he stalked towards you. He was seeing red. You could tell from the way he cornered you, crowding around you with the small advantage he had on your height.

“You need to stop this,” He mumbled, eyes looking at your mother’s bedroom door. He was playing a dangerous game. You were, too, and you both knew it. “I’m dating your mother. You need to stop this, sweetheart.”

“Stop what?” You tilted your head, acting confused. “I just had a shower.”

Chan scoffed, shaking his head. “I fucking heard you in there.”

Oh. You couldn’t hide your smirk that time. “Yeah, I missed that shower head. Why were you perving on me, Chan?”

Chan rubbed his temples. He wasn’t wearing a beanie today, only a hoodie and baggy joggers. You liked it. You could see his hair like this, dark and curly and frizzy on his head. He looked cute. Wait, what?

He took a deep breath. His eyes moved to fixate on you, tongue running over his teeth. “Why would I be perving on you?”

“Oh, don’t lie,” You crossed your arms over your chest. Chan’s eyes moved down to stare at where your tits bulged over the towel. “I bet you stood there for ages, cock hard in your cute joggers, listening to me moan in the shower. That’s a little fucked up, no? Thinking about your girlfriend’s daughter like that-”

You were cut off by him pushing you to the wall, lips slamming into yours. He bit into your mouth instantly, letting out a deep groan and hands moving to grab your ass through the towel. You let your lips part in a whimper, pushing your tongue into his mouth and running your hands through his hair. It was a filthy exchange of tongue and teeth, and by the end of it, you were gasping, grabbing him by the waist and trying to pull him closer. You pulled away, breathing heavily and your eyes still locked on each other. You both stood there, not speaking, as you both processed what you had just done. You both knew it was wrong, but you wanted it so bad.

Chan stepped back, breathing out a heavy sigh. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”

You watched in shock as he turned around, walking into your mother’s bedroom and leaving you there. You were wet again. This was getting ridiculous now. 

In your room, Felix screamed so loud you had to turn the volume down on your phone. Changbin choked on air again. 

TUESDAY

You hadn’t seen Chan all day. You presumed he was in his studio, working away on another track while your mother was in work. You were bored. Felix had been spending time with his family, and Changbin was out doing rich kid things that you could sympathise with. Thrashing around on your bed, annoyed and huffing, you decided you were just going to go and annoy Chan. It was your newly favourite pastime to get under his skin.

Stalking down the stairs to his studio, you paused when you heard a voice. Not just one voice, two voices. Was your mother there? No, no way. She never goes into that room, it’s his work room. You’d been in there though. You tried to suppress a grin at that realisation. 

The other voice was a man’s. Chan had a call on speakerphone, judging by the tinny effect covering the unknown male’s voice and Chan humming every so often. Who was the other man? A colleague, or just a friend?

“It’s fucking ridiculous, mate,” Chan groaned. You could barely hear him, and you held your breath, coming closer to the closed door. “I want her so bad, and it’s so wrong. I- I kissed her last night, Minho.”

There were a few yells from the other end of the phone. “You kissed her?! Chan, you fucking animal. You want her so bad, just fuck her. She’s clearly hoping that’s the outcome here.”

You grinned. You were.

“She’s- it’s outrageous. She walks around in practically nothing, and she’s got such a tight fucking body, man. She makes my dick so fucking hard, I’ve never felt anything like it before. Even when I met her, in the kitchen, she was-”

Chan cut himself off with a sigh. ‘Minho’ hummed, waiting for him to continue.

“She’s so bratty. She’s exactly the type of girl I would’ve gone for, before I met her mother.”

“Seriously?” Minho questioned, and Chan agreed. “You have to do it.”

“Minho-”

“No, Chan. I’m serious,” Minho’s voice was firm. “If she’s fucking you up this bad, you can’t have liked her mother that much, yeah? Just do it. You know it’s going to happen anyway.”

“It’s-” Chan began. You could imagine him rubbing his temples in distress behind the door. “She’s younger than me. I don’t want her to feel as though I’m taking advantage, y’know? The ball’s in her court.”

The ball has always been in your court.

“It sounds like she wants you to take advantage, to be honest,” Minho erupted in a fit of giggles, and you found yourself almost laughing along. Minho was annoyingly right. You only hoped he could get rid of that stick up Chan’s ass and get you a good dicking down.

It meant it was time for the next phase of your plan. You assumed Chan had wanted you, embarrassingly so, but you weren’t quite sure until he’d kissed you the day before. After hearing this conversation? Well, you had to do it.

You returned to your room, scribbling a quick note on a piece of paper. If Chan found this, which he would, it meant that he’d come to your room tomorrow night and you could maybe talk about what the fuck was going on. The sexual tension was too much for you, and now you knew he felt the same. Why were you beating around the bush? You had to make something out of this.

You ignored the stuttering of breath you heard when you slid the note under his door, and returned back to your room with a cocky grin.

WEDNESDAY

Chan hadn’t mentioned the note. You didn’t think he would, but you felt disappointed nonetheless. You’d woken up in the morning, eaten breakfast with him and your mother - cringing when he kissed her on the cheek when she left for work - and you’d even done the dishes yourself, letting him slip off to do some work in the studio. It was prime time for him to mention what you’d written, and he hadn’t. It was pissing you off.

Still, good things come to those who wait. You were confident. Felix had been egging you on all day over text, Changbin had been sending random upset emojis. It was perfect. 

Settling on your sheets at night, you felt a little pathetic. You’d lit a few candles, left the curtains just right on the window so that the moonlight billowed in, and Chan hadn’t arrived. Maybe he hadn’t received your note. No, there was no way - you practically heard his response through the door when he saw it slid under. He got the note. Perhaps you’d made him uncomfortable, made him withdraw from you despite all the progress you’d made. Why had you put in so much effort? You didn’t like him, not like that. Or did you? You felt ridiculous, almost like a child waiting for-

A knock on the door brought you out of your self-loathing thoughts, and you jumped up, swinging the bedroom door open. Chan immediately crowded inside of your bedroom, pressing the door shut softly. You stood there in silence, taking him in. He looked cosy, in a baggy hoodie and plaid pyjama bottoms. It was hard to believe he was dating your mother, especially when he looked so vulnerable like this - dark, curly hair still slightly wet from his shower, and his eyes blown wide with an unreadable emotion while he looked at you.

Chan sighed. “You’re really playing with fire. Do you know how this could look, me coming into your room at night? Do you know how wrong this is?”

You faltered. For the first time since meeting Chan, you felt as though he was angry at you. “I- I heard you on the phone, Channie. I thought you wanted me too.”

You watched in awe as Chan crossed your bedroom, groaning and throwing himself onto the bed. He was hard, erect in his bottoms. You blinked confusedly. He was hard just from being in here?

“I do want you,” Chan said, but it was muffled, hidden behind his hands that he had placed over his face in distress. He let them fall to his sides, staring up at the ceiling. “I want you so bad that it’s pissing me off beyond belief. I know what you’ve been doing too, trying to seduce me. It’s so pathetic it makes me feel hot, y’know?”

You giggled, following his journey across the room and settling next to him on the bed. You sat cross legged, comfortable in your long pyjamas. The candlelight flickered, casting a glow over his face, and he turned to look at you. He licked his lips, and then he let out a laugh, shaking his head in disbelief.

“This is ridiculous-”

“It’s ridiculous that you haven’t fucked me yet,” You responded, quick as a flash. Chan leaned up on his forearms, raising an eyebrow at you. Now was the time. You had to say it. “You know how bad I want you. I touched you up on the sofa, and you let me. You wanted me to, I think. Correct me if I’m wrong, and I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but-”

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable, and you’re not wrong,” Chan admitted. You could see the blush on his cheeks despite the dimly lit room.  He took a deep breath before continuing. “I want you, too.” 

Chan shot across the bed, leaning in and kissing you deeply, his hands tangling in your hair. It made you wet beyond belief that he just felt like he knew what he was doing, hands travelling down to your waist to softly press you into the sheets. His tongue swept into your mouth, pressing against yours and you whimpered, making him groan into the kiss. When his hands went up to your hair, he intertwined his fingers in the strands and pulled, making you gasp and let out a heady, hot breath. He pulled away, lips parted when he stared at you. 

“You are such a horny little thing, it’s so hot,” He mumbled, lips pressing to your neck. He bit your skin sharply, making you keen and spread your legs, allowing him to position his hips between your thighs. The movement pressed his bulge into your core, and you tried not to shift and move your hips in a rhythm of pleasure. His fingers traced over your skin, and he chuckled, a low, sexy sound that made your heart race. He pulled back, leaning back on his legs and staring at you, eyes blown wide with lust. “I want to see you touch yourself.”

You paused. “What?”

“I want to know what you like. Show me how you make yourself cum, and I’ll fuck you tomorrow night. How’s that sound?” He was propositioning you, teasing you, and you were falling for it - hook, line and sinker. 

You gave him a nod. Right. Touching yourself for him - that was something you could do. This was just another Wednesday for you, you loved putting on a show, especially for a man who was rock hard and obviously desperate for you. But with Chan… why did you feel so fucking nervous all of a sudden? You'd spent your whole day waiting to fuck him, and he’d taken back the power, thrown a wrench into your plans.

You leaned back on your bed. How did you sit sexily? You were stuck in your own head.

Chan moved backwards, hand moving over his clothed erection. He’d spread his legs, thick thighs parted for you to see the promising bulge between them. "Pretend I'm not even here, sweetheart," he said, eyes blown wide with lust. You almost rolled your eyes. Easier said than done, when he was sitting there with his dark curls and his thick, kissable lips and his impossibly huge bulge. “Touch yourself like you’ve done before. Show me how you make yourself cum, and I’ll fuck you tomorrow, I promise.”

Fuck it. You'd never let an attractive man break you down yet, and that wasn't going to change. You nodded timidly, hands moving to grip your breasts through your shirt. It made you sigh, and Chan responded with a noise of his own when you impatiently rucked the fabric up to above your chest. Sucking two fingers into your mouth, you whined when you traced the wet digits around your pebbled peak teasingly. 

“Ah, ‘s- I’m sensitive there, Channie,” You mumbled, and he nodded as if he was making a note for it for later. You trailed your fingertips across your nipples, pinching and twisting them almost painfully just to make your hips cant up into thin air. You were too impatient to do this how you normally would, so you scratched your fingernails down your tummy and shoved a hand in your pyjama bottoms. You were met with slick, wet folds, fingers sliding around in the mess you made. 

“Show me,” Chan said, eyes trained on where your hand disappeared beneath the fabric. “Show me that pussy. You’re meant to be showing me everything, remember?”

“Show me yours and I’ll show you mine,” You huffed, and Chan shook his head in disbelief, grinning. You were shocked to see he actually listened, though, pushing his joggers down to his thighs and letting his erection spring out. It was impossibly hard, pearlescent drops accumulating on his cockhead and you licked your lips subconsciously. “I wanna-”

“No,” Chan cut you off, hand moving to wrap around his cock in a tight fist. He was long, thick and heavy between his thighs and you felt your pussy clench sadly around nothing. “Show me your pussy. I’m not asking again, let me take a look at it.”

You whined, pushing your pyjama bottoms down to reveal your slick core. Your clit was swollen, throbbing with need just from a few kisses and Chan’s general presence, and you could feel a rivulet of wetness sliding down between your lips. Chan groaned in approval, hand quickening on his cock just slightly.

“Spread it, show me your hole,” Chan said, and you moved your thighs further apart for him. Reaching down with two fingers, you moved them into a v-shape and spread your folds for him. Your hole quivered under the inspection, leaking more wetness and Chan’s eyes were hyper fixated on it. “Oh, baby. That looks tight. Has no one ever fucked that little pussy right, huh? Tell me.”

“N-No,” You shook your head, thighs quivering when you finally let two fingers rub over your clit. You started with a blistering pace immediately, making your toes curl into the sheets and your back arch upwards. “No, I- it’s only boys from college, I don’t-”

“Ah, I see. You need someone older, yeah? More experienced?” Chan questioned, his breath coming out heavy with every tightly fisted movement on his cock. You whined, nodding, and then you were breaching your hole with two fingers immediately. The stretch made you groan, head falling back against the pillow. “Is that why you tried to seduce me, yeah? Wanted to have my cock stretching you out just right, wanted to call me daddy while I made you cry?”

God, he’d got it. He was right on the mark. “Yes, y-yes, I- I wanted to, oh, I wanted to call you daddy, and- and feel you inside me, and oh, Channie, please-” You cut yourself off with a moan, perhaps too loud as you curled your fingertips up against your g-spot. Chan threw his head back, letting out a grunt as he pinched his cockhead almost painfully. 

“Say it then, baby. What’s stopping you?” He polished the head of his cock, moaning before he took it into his tight grip again. His precum served as lubrication, his hand now making wet slick sounds on his thick length. You gasped when he moved his free hand to his balls, rubbing calloused fingertips over them and letting out his own gasp. “Beg me for my cock. I know you want it, look at you. Fuckin’ desperate, yeah? Beg daddy for his big cock.”

“Oh, daddy,” You whined, moving your free hand to rub over your clit. Everything was so wet, sliding around your pussy and you were honestly surprised you could feel anything - but it felt so fucking good, having him watch you like this, learning what you liked so he could replicate it. “Fuckin’- daddy, daddy, please, can I have it? Been good, doin’ what you asked, I- hnnng, daddy, oh my god-”

“No,” He smiled, a cocky grin while he rubbed one hand over his cock and the other over his heavy balls. “No, baby. Not tonight. Make yourself cum tonight, and daddy will help you tomorrow.”

“I- need more, need more, I-'' Chan surged over the bed, leaning over your figure to press his lips against yours. His tongue dominated your mouth again, and you could feel his closed fist hitting your stomach as he worked himself to his orgasm. The sensation had you whining against his plush lips, fingers thrusting quicker into your pussy and your other hand sliding around your clit messily. When he pulled away, lips digging into your bottom lip teasingly, his lips were quick to move to your neck to suck some dark purple marks into the skin. You felt yourself trembling, your body tense as you felt yourself getting closer to the edge. Your fingers stroked your walls faster, pussy fluttering around your digits in delight, and your mouth opened in a gasp as you felt your body tense and tremble with pleasure. “I’m g’na- g’na cum, gonna cum, please, can I? Can I, daddy? Can I cum for you, please?”

“Yeah, baby,” He huffed, eyes rolling back into his head. He was practically drooling onto your skin, lips parted against your neck as you whined and thrashed on your bedsheets. “Cum for me. Been good for daddy, haven’t you? You can cum, baby, c’mon. Show me how pretty you are when you cum.”

You fell apart around your own fingers, your orgasm crashing through you like a wave. Your thighs tensed with your orgasm, your pussy clenching down impossibly tighter around your hand and flooding down to your knuckles with your cum. You begged and pleaded, your voice a barely audible babble as your body shook with the sensation. 

Finally, when you’d just felt like you were coming down, Chan pulled your wrist away from your pussy. The movement left you empty, your walls still clenching down except now it was around nothing, and you whined, bottom lip quivering in need. 

“Hands off,” He sighed, hand slowing down on his cock. He was trying to last longer for something - you weren’t sure what, but you let your other hand drop from your clit obediently. “Daddy’s gonna cum on this wet little hole, baby, okay? You gonna let me cum here, mark you as mine?”

“Yes,” You moaned, nodding. You couldn’t think of anything better, actually. “‘M yours, I’m yours, daddy, gimme.”

“Dirty thing, perfect little girl,” He grunted, and then he was positioning his cockhead at your hole. With a few more movements, increasing in speed, you watched as his face screwed up in pleasure. His hips bucked, and with a final thrust, he came. You felt his cum drip down your hole as he groaned through his orgasm, thick white cum plastering your pussy. It was definitely the sexiest thing you’d experienced, but you still felt a little disappointed - why couldn’t he have just done it inside you?

“Wan’it,” You whined, pulling your legs back. Chan chuckled upon seeing the pout on your lips. “Why couldn’t you- in me, wanted it in me, daddy.” 

“Greedy bitch,” He mused, and then he was delving down to your core. Your mind went blank when his tongue licked fat stripes up your folds, collecting all of his cum and your wetness in his mouth. You briefly thought you could cum from this, very quickly judging by the way he knew what he was doing, but he simply leaned over you and grabbed your jaw. 

Oh. You let your lips part, tongue lolling out of your mouth obediently, and he spat the mixture of your cum into your mouth. You felt him lick into your mouth again, groaning at the taste of your pussy and his load. He smiled against your lips and pulled away, your eyes wide as you tried to process what had just happened. 

Chan’s lips curved in satisfaction at your state, your chest still heaving with a blotchy rash that bore the truth of what you’d been up to. He ran his thumb over your bottom lip, and then he was standing up and leaving the room, bottoms barely pulled over his hips. You laid there, feeling an intense mix of pleasure and confusion.

What the fuck just happened?

THURSDAY

You hadn’t even processed what had happened last night. In all honesty, you’d run out of the house in the morning under the premise of a coffee date with friends you didn’t even have. You just sat in the cafe on call with Changbin and Felix and screamed way too loudly for a public area. The whole cafe knew of your predicament by the end of it.

Upon your return home, you’d beelined to your room and kicked the door shut as quietly as you could. Unfortunately, your foot slipped on the floor and you’d ended up face down with a groan.

Turning over onto your back, you huffed at the offending item that had caused your decline to the ground. A piece of paper met your eyes, neatly folded and written on with what looked like black Sharpie when you’d finally unravelled it.

Three words. Three words that changed your life and let you know that what occurred the night before had really happened. No, not ‘I love you’ - it was simple, a scrawled ‘your room, tonight’. It did happen. You touched yourself in front of Chan, and he was planning on coming back to your room to continue what you’d discussed.

You wanted to squeal and kick your feet, but beneath it all, you felt panicked. This plan had gone too far, and you’d perhaps started to think about spending time with your mother’s boyfriend - actual time, not just sexually charged meetings. It hurt a little bit, a pang in your chest when you remembered that what was happening really was just sexual. Your little arrangement being anything else just wasn’t fathomable.

Chan was interesting. He was a fucking music producer, for god’s sake. That was just straight up cool. That, and he was older than you - you did have raging daddy issues like your friends had said, after all. His friend had sounded funny on the phone, which meant he had to be funny, too. 

All things serious, you didn’t really know much about him, but you wanted to know. Felix had encouraged you to find out, and you felt like you owed it to him - or yourself, you weren’t sure. 

The knock on your door once the evening fell brought you out of your reverie. Chan didn’t wait for a response, swinging your bedroom door open and walking straight in as if he owned the house. You huffed at his demeanour, yet your eyes were still fixated on the way he walked over to your bed with intent. You threw your phone to the side. Felix would have to wait for your half-typed text message. 

“Back again so soon?” You quipped, and he raised an eyebrow. He was only in grey joggers, the thin material highlighting his thick dick imprint between his legs. The fabric hung low, showing off the body that you knew he worked so hard for. His chest was honey toned, yet covered in light, sparse freckles - you wanted to make yourself acquainted with every single one. You felt a little overdressed in just an oversized t-shirt and shorts.

Seeing the frustrated expression on your face, Chan’s own face fell. “Do you not want me here?” He said, voice no more than a whisper. “I can go, if you don’t want to see me tonight. I just thought-”

“I do,” You nodded, finally raising yourself from your position lying down to sitting up cross legged. Chan laid on the bed in front of you, one arm propping his head up. He gazed at you for a few moments, and you could see the relief in his eyes at your words. “I do want to see you tonight. I want to see you like… a lot. Don’t you think it’s weird though? I’m your girlfriend’s daughter, Chan, and we’ve kissed and- and done other stuff, and-”

He scooted over so that he was next to you, and you leaned into him subconsciously. He pulled you in with his arm around your shoulders, broad and muscled. You felt content, comfortable and most of all safe. It was a feeling you’d never felt before.

“I don’t think it’s weird,” Chan hummed, his chest vibrating beneath where you’d landed when he pulled you in. He chuckled, then, his hand moving to your hair comfortingly. “Okay, maybe it is a little weird. I’m just very interested in you. I know you heard me on the phone to Minho, and yes, you are my type - I want to know more about you. Like, even beneath the sexually charged tension, heh.”

Oh. You licked your lips, eyes fixated on a random spot in your wall. “You do?”

He nodded. “I do.”

You couldn’t help yourself. You raised your head, surging over Chan’s body to press a kiss to his lips. His hair was soft when you ran your hands through it, despite random curls getting caught in your nails and causing him to groan at the pain flooding through his scalp. His hands went to your waist, licking into your mouth while he effortlessly pulled you on top of him. The show of strength had you whimpering into the kiss, hands moving down to his jaw. It clenched and unclenched while he had full control over your mouth despite you being on top. 

You pulled away with a wet sigh, moving downwards to kiss at his neck. He groaned underneath his breath at the sensation of your lips on his skin. Your bed squeaked awkwardly as you moved down it, too quick for the old springs to handle. It felt naughty, kissing him like this in your childhood room - it felt even dirtier than the night before had, and you hadn’t done anything yet.

“I need you, Chan,” You whispered, nipping at his collarbone. “Need you. Please.” 

He gasped as he felt your tongue trace the outline of his collarbone. He flung one bicep over his dark eyes with a deep sigh, allowing you to kiss and bite all over his skin. He looked like he was trying to control himself. You didn’t want him to.

Your hips started to grind against him, and you placed your palms flat on his chest. Both of Chan’s hands moved back to your hips with a surprised noise, but he didn’t stop you. His dick was hardening in his joggers, and it was providing the best clothed friction to your aching, needy clit below your pyjama shorts. You saw how big it was before, yet the length of it still shocked you when you slid your clothed core up and down the shaft.

“Daddy,” You whined, hips starting to buck frantically. You were sure that you had never felt this needy in your life. “Daddy, daddy, I want you so bad. You turn me on so bad, make me feel so hot, please-”

“Baby,” Chan groaned, his head falling back against your pillows. The soft pink bed sheets juxtaposed completely with what you were doing, and juxtaposed completely with him - Chan, the muscled man with dark hair who wore black and grey clothes constantly. It was as if he was corrupting you, and he was in a sense, being so much older. “Baby, c’mere, come and lay on the bed. Let daddy eat you out, yeah?”

“No,” You shook your head, hips still moving on his erection. Chan’s chest had started to accumulate a thin layer of dewy sweat, slick on his skin and making you want to lick it off. “I want your cock. I don’t wanna wait, I don’t wanna wait, please, just put it in, I’m wet enough, I promise.”

He knew you were babbling, incoherent in your haze of lust, but he still entertained you enough anyway. You spread your legs wider when his hand met your thigh, and then he was pushing two fingers beneath your shorts. He was met with your slick folds, and you gasped at feeling the touch of his fingertips, calloused from years of working with music.

“Oh, fucking hell. Dirty girl, dirty fuckin’ girl,” Chan moaned, his eyes almost rolling back into his head. “This pussy’s so fuckin’ wet, baby. All we did was kiss. Are you that much of a slut for me? Are you that much of a slut for your mother’s boyfriend? That’s filthy.”

“Yes!” You wailed, nodding. You reached down, canting your hips backwards a little bit so you could spread your thighs wider before hooking your fingers in your shorts and pulling them to the side. The movement revealed your pussy, clit swollen at the top of soaking wet folds, covering your drippy hole. “I wan’it so bad, so bad, so bad, please, please. Just push it in, make it hurt, I don’t care-”

Chan shoved the fingers of his spare hand between your parted lips, effectively shutting you up. “Shut up. You’ve got to prove to me you deserve it, baby.”

With those words, he was pushing a finger past your entrance. It breached your hole easily, the digit sliding through your wetness and curving up past your g-spot. Chan shook his head in a mixture of disbelief and shock, and then he was pulling his finger out. With a quick movement, he’d yanked his joggers down and let his cock spring out. The coarse hair was trimmed above his long, thick shaft and you couldn’t help but imagine the type of friction that would give your clit - you couldn’t wait.

“You were right. That slutty pussy is wet enough,” He mused, pulling your hips over his bare cock. Your pyjama shorts were slightly in the way, and you pulled them aside even more, letting your folds leave wetness over his shaft. “Lower yourself on it. Stretch yourself out. Slowly.”

You did as he asked, lowering your body onto his length. You felt the stretch immediately. You moaned, loud and ringing off of your walls. You didn’t give a shit if your mother heard. Fuck, you needed this. You wanted to bounce all over his cock until there was nothing left and your hole could do nothing but remember the tight fit. Trying to sit down quicker, Chan grabbed your hips, stopping you while only half his length was in you.

“You're gonna hurt yourself like that, sweetheart. That hole is so tight around me.”

“Please, daddy,” Your head fell into the nape of his neck. You wriggled yourself in his tight hold, trying to get more of his length in your pussy. He shook his head against you, chuckling.

“You want it? Fine, but don't fucking cry to me when it hurts,” Chan said, letting go of your ass. You realised he'd been holding you up, and within a millisecond you'd slammed down onto him. You wanted to scream, the stretch more than you could take. He laughed again, raising his eyebrows at you mockingly. “Too big?”

"N-No, perfect," You retorted. He moaned, spreading his legs and placing his feet flat on the mattress. More. More. Fucking more. You began to raise on him, expecting to ride that perfect cock, but he started to thrust up into you at an unrelenting place straight away, his balls slapping against your ass. You moaned incoherently, almost babbling, hands digging into his toned biceps. He leaned up to nip at your neck, and then he was pulling your t-shirt off of your body.

“No fucking bra?” Chan laughed in disbelief. His mouth went straight to your nipples, biting and sucking on the hard peaks. You jostled on his lap with his thrusts. You wanted to rub your clit, but you felt like he probably wouldn't let you. “Knew you were fucking filthy, sweetheart. You didn't even care about me going raw, did you? You want my load in that dirty hole. And now I find out these pretty tits were only one layer away from me…”

His voice trailed off. You whined, leaning down to try and kiss him again. He shoved his two fingers back in your mouth, making you suck on them. His bruising sucks caused your nipples to hurt, and you fucking loved it. You knew he was marking you up and you'd just have to deal with it.

You tried to start riding him. He didn't let you, manhandling you off of his cock.

“Daddy!” You whined in protest. Chan chuckled. He lifted you and manhandled you so your back was facing him on your bed, and you immediately repositioned yourself so you were face down, ass up. He reentered you in one swift thrust, causing you to jolt in surprise.

“Fucking tight pussy,” He groaned, thrusting into you with the same vigor as before. You almost screamed, but managed to just moan incoherently. The mattress creaked, the sound of old springs ringing around the room. “Fucking dirty hole. Listen to that, sweetheart. Can you hear how wet your cunt is for daddy's cock? For your mother’s boyfriend’s cock?”

You tried to stop whining and moaning to hear what he was pointing out to you, hearing wet slaps. Your cheeks burned with humiliation, fingernails digging into the mattress. You knew you were dripping for a fact now. You could hear it, you could hear everything, his balls slapping against your clit as well as the wet noise of his heavy cock reentering you. 

You threw your ass back against him, trying to get the tip to hit that special spot inside of you. 

“I think that asshole needs me too, sweetheart,” Chan laughed mirthlessly, his hands resting firmly on your ass, encouraging your bouncing. You moaned in response, clenching your pussy tight. He was going to ruin you for everyone. You'd have to just keep coming back for more. “You want daddy's finger in there? You want me to finger your asshole?”

Oh, yes. “Please, daddy, need to be full,” You said, wiggling your hips against him. You vaguely registered him reaching around you and making you suck on the fingers that had previously been in your mouth. He was going to fill both of your holes, and he moaned loudly at the sight of you sucking his fingers. There was no way that the whole house hadn’t heard you both by now. You hoped they were sleeping.

You sighed in ecstasy, feeling the fingers begin to move inside your ass. His thrusting was now hitting your g-spot in your pussy, given the added pressure from being full in both holes. You felt the orgasm finally begin to build. You liked the way he wasn't rushing you to cum, not like those younger college boys. He was taking care of you and just having good fucking sex. “Feels so fucking good, daddy. Feels so good.”

You were now semi-incoherent, your words all joining together in one long moan. Chan loved it, judging by his moans. His cock was pulsing inside you. You wondered if he was close. You wanted him to fill you up to the point where it was dripping out of you. 

He pulled out of you again, grabbing your leg with one strong hand and flipping you onto your back. You were out of breath from the exertion, despite him doing all the work, and he looked fully composed save for the thin sheen of sweat on his body.

“Feels good, baby?” He asked, looming above you. You squirmed feeling your sweaty back rubbing against the blanket uncomfortably, but you nodded anyway. You wanted to please him. He looked down at your writhing body, letting out another groan. “So fucking sexy. You don’t know how much you fucking killed me, teasing me like that. Touch that pussy for me again, show me.”

He started pumping his shaft quickly, still staring down at you. You reached down with one hand and immediately pressed two fingers against your entrance, collecting the slick gathering outside before diving straight in. You curled your fingers against that spot inside of you, whining out. It wasn't enough. Not after having that fat cock in you. He definitely had ruined you for everyone else, including yourself. Nothing was ever going to feel the same again. 

“Mmm. Looks so wet, sweetheart. Daddy wants a taste, is that okay?” Chan questioned, moving back onto his knees. You pulled your fingers out and tried not to cry at the loss.

“Please, daddy. Wanna cum in your mouth,” You slurred out, pushing his head towards you. He moaned into your pussy, taking his fat tongue and licking one wet stripe up your slit. He pulled your pussy back, exposing that throbbing clit to him, and placed one lick directly onto your button. "Fuck, daddy, feels so good! Suck it, please, suck it. I - please - need to cum so bad!"

“Need to cum, huh, sweetheart? I'll make your little pussy throb for me and then I'm putting my cock right back in that tight hole, where it belongs,” He spoke. He thrust two fingers into your slit, much thicker and longer than yours. You spread your legs, holding them up against your chest. You literally almost purred when he started moving his fingers, curling them up into that spot and sucking on your clit whilst he did so. It wasn't going to take long. The man was clearly amazing at every part of sex. 

You focused on the feeling of his wet tongue rubbing up against your clit and writhed, feeling closer and closer to the edge. He knew what he was fucking doing. Your thighs started to shake, taking everything in you not to just let them go from your hold and clutch around Chan’s head. You wanted him to permanently live between your thighs. Your eyes clenched shut, a deep sigh leaving you. 

“Fuck, I'm g’na cum,” You mumbled out, chest heaving and flushed a shade of crimson. Chan pulled away, causing you to whine. You pouted, reaching up to grab his shoulders. "No, no! You said I could. You said you would help me.”

“What I said was that I'd make it throb for you and then I'm sliding back right in here, sweetheart. Be good for daddy, you'll get to cum,” He positioned his length at your core again, sliding right back into home. You both moaned, and he was fucking you in a mating press this time, almost as if you were a couple in love. You wished you were, and realised this was definitely your favourite position so far. The man fucked like an animal and now he was fucking you like he was going to breed you, and you loved it. He reached down with one hand to rub your clit rapidly, trying to bring you to the edge. “This is my fucking pussy. My favourite fucking pussy, my only girl, the only pussy for me, okay?”

“Fuck!” You cried of overstimulation, hands still wrapped around your legs. “G’na... getting close again, gonna-”

“Cum then, sweetheart, flood my cock. Make a mess for me, come on, do it," Chris encouraged, breathing heavily next to your ear. His eyes were focused on where he was entering you over and over again, taking note of the white ring of slick that had formed around the base of his cock, soaking the hair that rested there. You scrunched your eyes shut, feeling overwhelmed with bliss. “That's it. That's my good girl.”

White hot ecstasy overtook your body. You wanted to squirm, but with the pressure of the muscular man on top of your body, you had nowhere to go. You focused on the feeling of his slick chest rubbing against your sensitive nipples, whining and moaning as the orgasm coursed through your body and made it feel like you were being electrocuted. 

“Fucking clenching on my cock, shit,” Chan groaned, his hand falling away from your clit once your breathing had began to calm slightly. His hands went down to grab your hips, and before you knew it, he was lifting your hips up and fucking you senseless, treating you like a toy. “W-Wanted to be soft with you for our first time, sweetheart. I'm not normally like this, not at all, but this fucking pussy is driving me insane, fuck... I need to fill you up. Will you let daddy fill that pussy with my cum, sweetheart? Let me breed you, make you mine?”

You nodded quickly, unable to speak at this point. Your hole felt raw, sensitive and fucked open, but you needed his cum in you. You thought you might die if you didn't get it soon. His tip jabbed into your g spot incessantly, almost causing you to cum again, but you subconsciously knew you couldn't take another orgasm at the same level as the previous one. You might die. 

“Fucking- g’na breed you, sweetheart. Gonna make you mine. G-Gonna give you a baby, g’na fill you up, fuck!”

With an animalistic growl, Chan’s head dropped to your neck, biting into the skin there and definitely leaving a mark. You felt his hips still and cum flooded out of the tip of his length, flooding your hole with a new sense of wetness. You sighed with content and laid there until Chan’s breathing calmed, his body weight fully on top of you and yet not uncomfortable. 

“I have to be honest about something,” Chan sighed. You looked up at him from your position on his chest, and he looked down at you with an apprehensive look. He looked a lot shyer than he did moments before, when he was fucking you senseless and calling you a slut - he was blushing now, embarrassed. You were sure that’s what you liked about him. “You’re- it’s like you were made for me. I don’t know what the fuck to do, heh. I’m falling for you, I think.”

You blinked, leaning up to rest inches away from his face. Got him. You’d got him. “Well, that’s okay, Chan. You’re closer to my age anyway, right?”

[lino-jagiyaa]

— THE ALCHEMIST. a Lee Minho fiction

Lee Minho x f. reader

TROPE. historical! au, set in 1940’s Korea, alchemist! au, friends to lovers, fluff, angst

WARNINGS. abusive behavior toward women, impoverished communities, overall sexist beliefs of the time, reader dresses as a man, mentions of death & disease, smoking (not reader or minho), war conflict, making out??

WORD COUNT. 9.6k words

AUG'S NOTES. although it was a bit out of the blue, i had such a great time writing and shaping this universe, thank you to all the love and support thus far<3 also, huge thanks to @comet-falls for instilling the peaky blinders/historical! minho vision in my head with how incredible tooth and claw was, i truly owe it to you :)

SYNOPSIS. Cities stricken with poverty, the lack of male presence in your home while surviving in a male-dominated society leaves meager food on the table and a piling debt. Left no choice but to make a risky decision, you decide that, if biology wanted to fail you, you’d simply try another approach.

alternatively :

In which deception introduces you into an entirely new reality, and The Alchemist.

It’s one thing surviving with the knowledge you can change something, whatever it may be that’s wrong. 

It’s another when that problem isn’t merely changeable, but biological. 

Your problem? You’re a woman. 

Not as easy to fix, right?

.

.

.

With your father lost in the war, fruitlessly straining to support a family of girls, the household is left helpless.

Representation is nonexistent, and merely walking outside frets harassment and laughter struck in your face at the mention of working. 

A woman, working? Hilarious. 

Or, apparently to the men in pubs it certainly is.

Some things you can’t change, yes, but there are always alternatives. And as for now, you’re helplessly searching high and low for that alternative, whatever it may be. 

Selling yourself is possible, though the inability to remain connected to your family eliminates that option. 

When you get so desperate, there’s no incentive in guarding your pride. Because being called derogatory names isn’t as bad as losing them, the people you call home.

October welcomes little warmth, biting your fingertips and sending a tremor of chills cascading down your spine. Minimal sunlight peers through dense clouds, shrouding the atmosphere in a depressing haze. 

You’re on your way to the apothecary, but not to purchase anything. The pennies in your pocket won’t amount to anything in the face of medicinal prices, which happens to be one of your many alternatives. 

Since day one, you’ve had a rock to rely on.

Medicine. 

Lack of money meant improper living conditions, entailing sickness. 

Constantly.

Whether it was your mother, your younger sister, yourself, an infection of some sort occupied your respiratory system, wreaking havoc for wallets and mental health altogether. 

Purchasing necessary medication became impossible the further you drowned in your debt, to the point drastic measures needed to be taken in order to prevent death from infesting itself in the household as well.

Then came the question. If you couldn’t purchase the medicine itself, why not collect the ingredients?

Alternatives.

Behind the apothecary you discovered mint hedges that, if mixed with wormwood and balm, could aid in curing Sun-ja’s current sickness, colic. 

Although, you’d have to be swift in your efforts, ensuring the shop owner didn’t notice your presence.

Too many times had you nearly been caught, risking a good beating from the red-haired, burly man regarded as Mr. Myeong.

Fiery red hair complimented an equally unruly personality you aimed not to cross by. Ever.

Yet, unlike Mr. Myeong, his wife was the polar opposite, an ideal magnet. She was petite and soft-spoken, but out of her appealing traits, you found her resilience to be most attractive.

Mrs. Myeong is stubborn. She’s strong in what she believes, sporting an unquestionably vocal opinion that can’t be quenched.

The woman is, likely, the only woman capable of sealing her husband’s mouth shut.  

Hidden between thorn ridden weeds sits your desired leaves, abundant in supply.

You clutch your satchel closer, plucking as quickly as possible whilst crouched to the ground, maneuvering through tickling grasses and itchy reeds. 

Your mission remains successful, until the wretched sound of a doorknob rips your head upward, the red-haired man in question standing nonplussed, arms crossed. 

He wears a cocked brow, examining what you’re desperately trying to veil away.

Your heart leaps into your throat.

“Stealing, are we?” Black boot clad frame thumping closer, you immediately prepare to run, hair standing on end like an agitated feline.

Instead, his huge hand swoops down to grab your collar, other evidently ready to land a harsh slap to your face.

Instinctively cringing, you brace for the stinging impact.

That is, before a saccharine, lullaby-worthy voice rings from the cracked doorway, belonging to none other than Mrs. Myeong.

“Honey! Have you seen the new envelope that came in?” 

Heels clicking whilst padding over cobblestone to where you two stand, her husband fixates you with a stern, threatening glare. 

Finally dropping your frame to the ground, you slump forward, pulse pounding loud enough you fear your chest may implode. 

Mrs. Myeong, though wearing a taut expression, ushers him off, delivering a curt nod your way, intentional brows furrowed in place. 

‘Thank you’ You wish to say, but hold your tongue, watching them disappear inside.

Another time.

Walking home was rather uneventful (much to your delight), left to enjoy the crisp, cool air sifting through your lungs in steady rhythm, the lazy billows of cigar smoke dwindling from gaping doorways.

Calm. 

Nothing calm ever lasts long.

Stashing the house key back into your decrepit leather draw bag, your footsteps still upon entering, struck terror-filled.

Your mother, strawn across the floor, hacks amongst her rampant coughs, body convulsing in desperate shivers, skin drenched a ghastly blue.

Sprinting to her side, you kneel down, rolling the woman over to find her face utterly battered, new black eye beginning to swell, cheek bruised a mawkish purple against hollowed cheekbones. 

Sharks.

To your left Sun-ja hides in the corner, rags for a blanket pulled to her chest, shielded between the wall and a tipped cabinet. 

Over and over they’ve begun visiting, to the point your mother became recognizable by her continuous black eye, her torn clothing and stooped posture. 

Exhausted, she was exhausted. 

Yet, she took the beatings. The torturous punches. Jarring slaps, traumatic insults, tarnishing. Your mother took it so you wouldn’t, so you and Sun-ja could live.

And it’s at that moment you make up your mind, discover this occasion’s alternative. 

“Cut it off.” 

“Cut.. Cut it off?” Hyunjin gapes, fingers stalling their descent down a strand of your hair. 

You smile, grimacing the longer consideration poises.

No point in thinking too much.

“Yep. Give me the most boy-ish haircut you can.” You emphasize, gesturing toward his scissors expectantly. 

Hyunjin, your personally appointed hairstylist, doesn’t seem too convinced. He’s debating, expertly reading your features.

Currently, you’re holed up in his room, a miniature apartment located near the furthest section of town, close to the coast.

In wee hours of morning you boarded the train here, inhaling salty, ocean-smelling breeze. Back in your old residence you met him, your neighbor Hwang Hyunjin. It’s a miracle you still stayed in contact, bond aging like the finest of wines over countless years. 

Enough to where you trusted him to help you enact this alternative of yours. 

Starting with a haircut.

The man stares at you through the mirror, dark, inky hair matting the longer he runs his hands through it. 

Thoughtfully trying to figure out your reasoning, he evidently catches on the moment you witness his eyes roll, releasing a heaving sigh.

“You cannot be serious.”

A torrential truth keeps you from responding, gaze directed at your feet. 

“Y/n,” He uttered, eyes filling with a concern you avoid meeting, avoid regarding in a whole. “You don’t have to do this, the war is going to end soon and your father will come ba—“

“He’s dead.”

Silence engulfs the room.

Collecting yourself, you scorn his frown.

“He’s dead and gone. Now I need to protect them, provide for them.“ 

You deny the shakiness of your voice.

“So, Hyunjin. Cut off my hair.”

Accordingly, he does without another word. Snip by snip, tress by tress falling below, scattering the tile floor in endless strands.

By the time you see yourself, it’s hard to recognize the person in the reflection. Never had you considered your hair a viable source of identity, but now that it’s so sparse, the effect is eminent. 

Failing to see yourself in your own reflection beckons a different kind of sadness. For the person you’ve introduced yourself as reigns no more. She’s been replaced.

Hyunjin pulls you into his arms, embrace just as comforting as you remembered. His hand reaches to caress your cropped hair, rocking back and forth on his heels, chin resting on your head. 

“Be careful, okay?”

Nodding into his shoulder, you wipe salty streaks from your cheeks. 

Hurts.

“And if you need a place to take shelter, I’ll be here.”

Steadying in his hug again, you pull back, cherishing his kindness with a chaste kiss to the cheek. 

“Thank you, really.”

Shaking his head at your gratitude, urging you out and lingering by the doorway till your figure retreats in the distance.

Next stop, Mrs. Myeong. 

If anyone has any idea how to source the clothing you’re needing, your best chance would be thanks to her. 

An hour later you arrive in familiar avenues, creeping out of sight into the apothecary in hopes the woman you’re looking for is working the counter. 

Much to your pleasure, after a few unsuccessful attempts do you grasp her attention, edging forward under the guise of a regular hoping to converse. 

“I need your help.”

Initially, she carries that sternness, wordlessly lifting your hooded head a bit to notice the latest adjustment. Shock written over her face, Mrs. Myeong drags you along with her, closing the door to a back room.   

“My child, what is going on?” She whispers, tone urgent. You can’t help but feel fond of the affectionate nickname.

“I need male clothing and,” You hesitate, teeth nipping at your bottom lip. “something to bind my chest with.”

Similar to Hyunjin, she steps back, assessing the situation at hand. Spending a brief few seconds roaming your figure, the woman works hastily toward fetching a petticoat, meticulously fitting each article atop your stock-still frame.

“You’re conceited,” she grumbles. “And foolish.” Carefully peeling off your upper-wear, she’s managed to cut a piece of thick cloth to use as a make-shift binder, assembling the fabric over your breast. 

The experience, although strange, wasn’t as painful as anticipated.

“But be careful, and stay in contact.”

Your response is hushed.

“Breathe in,” The older woman instructs, securing her creation with a threaded pin before moving onto other aspects, like a proper coat and pants. 

Mr. Myeong’s trousers, though having to be sewn to fit, make do, and you’re reminded to return tomorrow for shoes. Otherwise, the attire is completed, paired with a curved hat to finish. 

Sure, the entire male concept is foreign, but given time, you’ll gradually acclimate.

Oh, right. 

Your alternative?

Since medicine is what you know, you’ll stick with that. Difference being medicine is a men’s occupation, and so, if you can’t be a female working in the field, why not become male? 

Well, somewhat become male.

It’s a risky wager, easily placing your life on the line in the process. 

For your mother and Sun-ja, however, it’s your turn to take the beating. Your turn to endure.

Observation is a virtue. It can save and preserve, heed to oncoming danger, and simultaneously (and discreetly) supply useful information.

Today, seated on a bench in Daegu Station, your first observation is the abundance of people scurrying like mice.

Some tall, some short. Distinct moles, eyes. Upturned and downturned lips. Mustaches, beards. Much to see.

Your legs cross and uncross, Mr. Myeong’s oversized heeled shoes beginning to sink at your ankles. Hat strung low enough to peer out without attracting attention, your gaze is magnetically drawn to a magazine held on the adjacent side of the train tracks, title on display.   

Prized Alchemist Lee Minho suspected of being the lone survivor of the Red Plagu—

Ignorant to your surroundings, your senses posed numb to the incoming train, blocking off the last few words of the title from view the moment it soars past—nearly sweeping the fedora off your head. 

By the time the last few train cars passed, the man honing said magazine had disappeared, and you were left wondering if the experience was merely a figment of your imagination.  

Although, you did have one lead. A name.

Lee Minho. 

Where you’d find him remained unknown, deciding to rely on a magazine parlor first and foremost for more intel.  

To no surprise, nearly every magazine rack lay lined with haughty opinions regarding the war and its evident cruelty.

Many onlookers of both Americans, Koreans, and foreigners alike chatter amongst themselves about their own take between gossiping hands and fumes of tobacco.

In this town, located far off in the business district by a ship port, people are everywhere.

Wives of sailors, families of soldiers off at war. Women honing gleaning parasols and ivory gloves reaching to their elbows.

Languages you’ve never heard before utter their enunciated syllables, vocabulary petulant with accent—all shrouded in dismay.   

Roaming the store endlessly to no avail, you prepare to adventure back through dusty streets and battered wooden stall-shops before a peculiar name pauses your footsteps. 

His name, The Alchemist, Lee Minho.

“Bring ‘em home I tell ‘ya,” An aged man by the deepened grooves of his face, hollow cheekbones and bunched wrinkles grumbles.

A fat cigar hangs loosely from thin lips, pale baker boy cap adorning a bald head. 

Some sentences estranged, you identify his sentences as French, heavy in dialect, throaty and broad.

And although your fluency stay patchy, exposure from French immigrants who’ve relocated near home allow minimal understanding as to what they’re talking about.

“Say, did you hear that Lee Minho chap was a Red Plague?” His counterpart offered past his own leering cigar, foot tapping incessantly.

The other hacks his bewilderment, feeble fist pounding on an equally feeble chest.

“The Alchemist?” 

The man’s astonishment returned with a nod, you lean closer, pretending to be consumed in an article. 

“Said he was only nineteen when it happened. Shipped ‘em off only for disease to kill them all. One survived, now people are speculatin’ it’s him.”

Either of them sigh out long drags.

“Well I’ll be damned.” Is all the other huffs in disbelief, and upon recognizing the conversation approaching an end, you stir to action, willing your voice to deepen an octave.

Attempting to appeal in your broken French, you stall the two, cautiously claiming you’re in need of his whereabouts for an esteemed business transaction to which, through confused stares, you’re given loose directions.

Loose, but feasible.

80 Kent Avenue, dark blue doors.

Directions that, according to the sudden blank of streetlights, would have to wait until tomorrow. As for now, the world beckoned you to rest, and any progress would prove futile and rather impossible in the dark.

Luckily, a run-down Inn gifted good few hours of shut-eye before dawn peered through the windowsills and you were begrudgingly forced to your feet. 

Fitting the binder snug across your body and fastening your trench coat through minuscule belt loops, you’re taught with much haste the stark difference of men’s prestige entitlement. 

First access to everything, the ability to have their way with a woman whether she willingly obliges or not, and just about ten billion other things someone of your hidden status couldn’t fathom.

A man’s world is a world only possible through disguise. Yours just happens to be a last resort.

Charming the mistress at the front desk was unexpectedly effortless, not to mention how easily she spilled the details as to where Kent Avenue would be located.

Another noticeable attribute of your new appearance, no one asked as to where you were going nor your intentions, they merely dipped their heads and wished you off.

Adjustments.

Adjustments that, if you’d been born different, would be normal.

Kent Avenue lay twisted in shadows. The surrounding area brims in barely flickering labels and creaking doorways leading to who knows where. Quaint isn’t the word for it. More ancient, all-knowing. 

This place has been here for centuries with many stories to tell, most just haven’t heard them yet.

Significantly dark blue doors make the Alchemist’s residence easily noticeable, starkly contrasting with wooded architecture. Massive doorknobs engraved with lions, windows shielded by moth-eaten curtains. Grand, in its own form.

You swore each door stood eight feet tall, the left in particular left slightly ajar.

Wait, ajar?

Doing a double take to ensure your vision wasn’t playing tricks on you, you inch forward, widening the dark gap exponentially until all you faced was a black abyss—apart from the miniature lamp beaming yellow light in a far corner.

Carefully tiptoeing into said black abyss, the further you explore, the greater the visibility increases. Leather cushioned furniture, clean, polished desks. The desk the lone lamp rests upon is a chestnut wooden, ink feathers residing in the upper corner.

Somehow, the matter grants envy, resentment grating your nerves. This man lives comfortably while other’s are beaten for possessing nothing. Maybe it’s a petty, unnecessary thought; and maybe you’re foolish, but all odds are against you, your disposition seems righteous.

Getting too lost in your head turned out foolish as well.

“What’s this?” A voice behind you whispers, voice ghosting chills tickling your neck at an alarming pace. 

Whipping around, eyes struck wide in shock, the person responsible for the remark comes into view, his stature opposing the tone muttered in your ear seconds ago.     

Not a plump business man like you imagined, not adorning a spectacle, no pipe in sight. Instead, one lone button right below the chest fits snug white sleeves cuffed by his elbows, black vest hugging a slim torso.

Conniving, cat-like eyes analyze your expressions while dark brown hair parts to the side, loose strands covering his right eyebrow. And when he reaches up to brush a few frayed tresses to the side you note sleek gloves covering long, pale fingers. 

If anything, this man is more similar to a Vampire.

“Trespassing, are we?”

Collect yourself. This is your opportunity.

Swiftly brushing off your clothes, you clear your throat.

“I have an offer.”

“An offer?” A smile belonging to that of a Cheshire cat adorns his lips, one leg propping itself over the other, fingers intertwining in front of him.

Ensuring your voice is clear and concise (while keeping the deeper, male-ish tone), you state your claim, despising how utterly debilitating it feels being caught under his observative stare. 

Like he sees through you.

“I would be a valuable asset to your studies in alchemy. I know about herbs and their uses better than anyone else, and where they’re located.”

Sure, the bargain might’ve sounded arrogant, but you were technically cosplaying as a man when most men of your time couldn’t shut up about themselves, arrogance was the least of your problems. 

Gnawing at his cheek as you spoke, he pauses a moment, then laughs.

Amused. 

Dark lashes dust above equally dark eyes, nearly black as they study you.

“You want to be my apprentice? Is that it?”

You remain close-lipped.

“I’ll tell you one thing, kid. This world is all about money,” He raises a cane from where he reclined, using the end to tip your chin up and meet his eyes. 

“No?” 

To which you simply stare back at him, refusing to avert eye-contact. 

“I’m sure that’s what you’re here for anyways.” Rising from his place, he sighs heartily. “But see, I’m a greedy man, not a good man.” 

Abruptly, his countenance falls flat. 

“And my job isn’t fun, so you’re out of luck.” 

Immediately, you’re frantic, trying your hardest to ignore his obvious statement to leave. The last thing you need is to run out of luck, run out of options.

And so, you hastily wrack your mind for a solution, an excuse, whatever keeps you in this dimly lit room.

“You- You were part of the Red Plague, weren’t you?” Spitting out words from the depths of your racing mind, The Alchemist stops, fixing you with an unreadable look.

Red Plague as in, the group of young men enlisted during the war that all died of a deadly disease but one. One who, many speculate is the man before you.

Breathe in.

“I may not know much about you, but I know what it’s like to want to save somebody.”

Breathe out.

Now it was his turn to stand there, and for a second you swore you saw a flash of sympathy cross his face.

You wet your lips. “I’ll run your errands and wash your clothing, I’ll clean this place spotless. Plus, it’s not like I’m a woman asking for a job, so please, give me a chance.” 

Slowly, The Alchemist raises a brow, laugh disbelieving.

“Since when did being a woman have anything to do with this?” 

Huh?

How.. odd.

If anything, the majority would wholeheartedly agree, likely hiring you on the spot with how impalpable such a jest seemed.

He would’ve laughed, maybe slapped your back. Would’ve wrapped an arm around your shoulders, proclaimed you his friend.

Yet, you almost feel flattered. Flattered in a strange, unrealistic manner. 

Basking in a deplorable quietness, The Alchemist sighs, combing a gloved hand through silken strands. 

“I have a spare room around that corner.” He points, leather gloves narrowly highlighted by orange lighting.  “Make yourself useful, hm?”

And like that, even if it was a long shot, you landed it. More specifically, landed a job. 

How preposterous. 

How exciting. 

Yet, it began hesitantly. As if he was initially testing your usefulness. Sending you on runs to the nearby gardens, having you make sure a concoction didn’t derange itself while he fetched better flasks. Easy things.

However, you didn’t complain. A boring job was better than no job, and as long as a few coins were emptied into your pocket afterward, you’d continue to work without whining.  

Burdock, oregano. Motherwort that would erupt billows of chemically-infused air when added to oils or sugars.  

Then you noticed The Alchemist. His quirks, his  characteristics. 

He shifts between a long trench coat or tight vests, his hair is always styled a certain way, though some days, when he just wakes up, he has this tiny bird nest of hair atop his head, it’s charming. 

He yawns a lot. 

He wears heeled shoes, maybe from his shorter height, maybe preference. 

And rather peculiarly, the longer you stay in his lair, the greater you notice the many scars littering his forearms, collarbones. Miniature cuts and imprints left on porcelain skin. 

Those observations, conjoined with his reactions, make for a truly interesting character. 

Reactions being his dislike toward loud noises, the matter in which his shoulders scrunch at a loud clap outside, eyes blown wide, fearful. 

The longer you stay in his lair, the more you notice him, nonetheless his fears. Whether suspicion clarifies anything in specific, there’s no denying he’s a man of war. 

Lee Minho has secrets, and as badly as your nosiness itches to uncover them, you, as you had promised earlier, will keep your lips sealed. 

And it makes you wonder, what’s life like on your side of the street? What throng of unfairness left you awash, left you both suffering? 

You wonder about your oppositions and similarities in different points of each other’s lives. Minutes, decades before you ever met.

Certain stones shall stay unturned, but you hope, maybe one day, those questions will be answered.  

Interestingly enough, he never asked about your name; not even when you gingerly introduced yourself as your last name, a rather awkward fit.

Likewise, you don’t complain. There’s only two of you in the house after all.

A week in, you’re finally introduced to something new. 

The Alchemist plans to have you tag along with him to Port Nova, a docking station located on the outskirts of Busan.

Business thrives in ship ports, the sole source of connectivity for a growing country like Korea. Each day, millions of shipments come in from countries you can’t name, so you’re not surprised in the slightest he’s headed there for a transaction. 

You are surprised he decided to have you tag along.

Even more so that, as you hop off the transit, hurriedly tailing his left, he veers off a sharp turn, approaching a worn Burlesque Club, glittering sign halfway dangling from its perch on a scarlet red awning. 

English letters spell out Nova Burlesque, a few missing letters left astray to the side, electrical bulbs spasming with sporadic lighting on the dusty ground below.

In the daylight, the place appears ordinary, blending in with its crumbling, desolate surroundings. 

Although, you have no doubt this place utterly delights in the eve, pink-neon inviting enough to lure unaware foreigners upon first arrival. 

“Mr. Lee,” You utter, returned with a short scoff from the man who insisted you refer to him by his name, Minho. 

“Where are we going?”

It’s hesitant, unsure of whether to intervene, but Minho only smirks, whispering a not-very-assuring “You’ll see” you begrudgingly go along with. 

Inside is the last of what you anticipated. 

Oh dear.

You’ve only been to minimal Burlesque Clubs, but the ornery perspective of faux jewelry, a glittery, hallucinatory stage, and the constant rendition of Why Don’t You Do Right whirling on scratchy records isn’t present here. 

Alternatively, there’s stools scattered around a marginally illuminated clearing, some upturned, others occupied by burly men with equally burly beards. 

And in the middle, a boxing ring is situated. The stench of sweat and blood soaks the air in a metallic, pungent aroma.

A brisk realization crosses your mind, a conclusion of a sort.

Play a fool’s game, earn a fool’s reward.

Only you, Hyunjin, and Ms. Myeong know the lengths you’re willing to go to secure your family's well-being, and now, at odds you can’t compromise, you have to do everything in your power to maintain your act.

This is a test.

Sifting behind you, he murmurs a hushed: “Cover your ears.” That you begrudgingly oblige to, cupping either hand over your ears as Minho clutches his leather holster, concealed within the confines of a frequently worn coat.

In a split second, a gunshot is fired to the ceiling, the bullet's shell casing dropping atop the welt of his pointed shoe.

Stunned silence ensues.

Arm still extending the revolver in the air, you haphazardly remove your hands, dragging the hat further over your face as more eyes focus on the both of you. 

“I’m looking for Reiner and Manfred.”

The longer the tension rises, the further you grow self conscious.

“Already?” A man bellows from inside the ring, breaking the awestruck spell whilst gripping his opponent by the collar, fist poised and ready to strike. 

Unusually, they seem to know each other.

Minho merely exhales a loud sigh through his nose, practically two times smaller than his apparent acquaintance. 

Said acquaintances grumbles. 

“Leave it to our champion to interrupt the show.” 

And with that, he hooks the contender in the jaw, sending him pummeling down to the tarnished mat where hoards either cheer or groan, hustling money left and right over the victor.

Champion of the show? You’re adding that to your collection of never ending questions that’ll likely stay unanswered.

From the crowd arises two men. The victor from the ring and another from the crowd, dressed lavishly opposed to his white tank top-wearing counterpart. 

Reiner and Manfred, you assume. 

Serving as a mere shadow in The Alchemist’s wake, the four of you hustle outside, met with a nonplussed Minho and two, mildly confused (and enormously tall) men. 

Foreigners, certainly.

“..Care to introduce the pipsqueak?” Reiner presumably more talkative, piques, beady eyes scouring your figure enough to where you scorn the beads of sweat collecting upon your temple. 

Pipsqueak my foot. 

You stave down the retort, inhabiting Minho’s shadow as the three discuss matters of a hospital transaction. Almost like you weren’t there at all, as it’s always been.

If it weren’t for the technicalities, you would’ve interjected, made your presence known. Except, other than herbal instances, you’re a novice in the business department. You’ll leave that up to your current mentor to arrange.

Again, lips sealed.

Minho, ignorant to the previous victor’s question, continues to sign legal documents supplied by the calmer individual, Manfred. You internally thank the gesture.

Well, before Reiner’s sordid gaze becomes too stifling to brush off.

“I’m Mr. Lee’s apprentice, L/N. Nice to meet you,” You initiate, fearlessly reaching out a hand he heartily shakes, features graced with amusement, massive hand practically engulfing yours. 

Pardoning a gruff “Likewise”, he nearly sends you flying from the timbre of his voice alone.

“Say,” Reiner mutters, finally completing the last of the package transfers. “Don’t you think this one seems a bit feminine?”

Your jaw ticks, nervousness shrouding your being like an unrelenting fog. Minho’s fingers close around your elbow, pulling you closer, brows knit.

“Perhaps you need your eyes checked, Reiner,” He offers, tone nonchalant opposed to the vice-like grip latched to your arm.

Heftily chortling, the man only pats your back, causing your entire body to surge forward upon impact.

“Well regardless, it’s a cute little thing ain’t it?”

Manfred simply grunts his acknowledgment while you bite your tongue, coveting your retaliation when he referred to you as “it”.

No use growing angered. The feeling is futile.

Luckily, your irritable arrangement comes to a hasty close, more than gleeful to have an understandably annoyed Minho steer you from Port Nova onto a short train back to Kent Avenue, to your newly established home.

A home, but not really a home. Semi-permanent, unofficial.

Either way, you wouldn’t complain. Despite the constant efforts in diminishing your past identity, you didn’t feel as conscious when around Minho. 

Safer.

As if, in an alternative reality, you could tell him. Your truths, your burdens.

No. You won’t jeopardize this opportunity. You can’t.

At least, not yet.

“I’ll be back Mr. Lee!” You shout, wielding a briefcase bag to your person, nudging the ghoulish door open using your hip.

As usual, you’re headed off on a restocking trip.

Except on this occasion, the restocking consists of hunting down a peculiar herb: Chinese Chrysanthemum. It’s an appealing plant with fluorescent leaves and a constant need for sunlight. 

It’s no surprise he’s sent you to fetch such goods. After two months, you soared in and out of the residence routinely, scouring Korea while Minho hunched over a wildly diverse array of vials and flasks, glasses propped on his slightly hooked nose, hands firmly resting on a wooden exam table.

Studious. He is very studious. 

However, a catch diverts itself from eye view. A catch you hadn’t considered until your two feet stepped from squealing train tracks.

Somehow, although unusually intentional, you wound up in a rather peculiar area. An area you never imagined paying a visit to in your wildest dreams.

In the midst of economic outrage and warring circumstances, you’re standing in one of Korea’s most unstable, informal districts. A place that, according to your overhearing ear, was where your precious Chrysanthemum lodged.

This district had an infamous name. 

The Den.

A fitting name in actuality, where a person didn’t realize they were stuck till it was too late, unable to see where they’re going, living in belief there’s an incentive to the finish line in a race run in circles. 

Also, a place the Sharks who torment your family report to.

You can hear your heart thrumming in your ears, nearly ricocheting out of your chest with its horrid cacophony. 

Calm down. 

Calm down. Think of the goal. 

All you have to do is find a flower. 

Grounding yourself, you pinpoint some viable resources. 

Fertile soil, maybe even sandy, likely in the inner portion of The Den.

Plus, you’re dressed as a man, you might as well act outrageously boisterous.

But you’re not, you’re afraid. Perhaps not external, but inside, your lungs feel as if they’re being violently crushed, sinking deeper in an unsteady submersible to the very bottom of the ocean. And for a second, you truly contemplate going back, telling Minho you’re incapable of the task.

Yet, what would you say? You’re haunted by a vision that hasn’t happened? Fearful for a future event with no guarantee? If you had ever done something so horrid, they would’ve found you ages ago.

This time, you’re in their domain, invading what’s theirs as they’ve done to you. 

Greater. You aren’t who you used to be, in more ways than one.

Genuinely, what is there to lose?

That’s it. You’ll complete the mission and return. No run-ins, no fear barricading your job.

In and out.

Initially, you scout out your surroundings, regarding the faint sound of voices funneling in the distance, the smell of mixtures you hate being able to identify, far off machinery croaking before smoke spurs from rusted screws and bolts.

Amongst the chatter of street vendors and the many, notorious gang members patrolling in and out of abandoned shops, you roam avidly, keeping as low a profile as possible.

Number one priority is to not be noticed. Drawing attention to yourself is a one way ticket to failure, and the last thing you need is to arrive back to Minho empty-handed.

However, through the blinding clouds of smoke billowing from exhaust pipes, a specific building, shrouded in the shadows of charcoal residue, douses your peripheral.

A Greenhouse. 

Bingo.

Quickly looking around, you shrink low to the ground, racing forward to carefully creak open glass double doors and slip inside. 

It feels as if you’re enclosed in a furnace. Mere seconds in and sweat already begins gathering upon your temples.

Though that becomes the least of your concerns after assessing what lies inside. 

Hundreds, maybe even thousands of flowers and herbs. Rare species, some critically endangered, just sitting here.

It’s strange. 

Why would, in the case such an abundance existed, not be used? Why hadn’t this Greenhouse been raptured from the inside out for such valuable items? 

It’s not until a commotion stirs ahead of you that you understand the answer to the question. 

With about five plucked Chinese Chrysanthemums expertly sealed into their coordinating bags, a piercing hiss followed by multiple shouts and hollers cause you to shrink back, gazing around haphazardly.

A hiss?

From your perspective nearly kissing the dirt, your vision allows a minuscule glimpse of multiple backs turned, boisterously amused men gathering around something in the front of the Greenhouse.

You feel the need to know more.

Inching forward tip-toe by tip-toe, amidst the roaring crowd, you spare a look between the sea of legs to find an utterly deplorable sight.

A cat. 

No, not just a cat, cat fighting. They’re watching cats maul each other for the fun of it. As if they aren’t living creatures, but toys for their entertainment. 

And perhaps it’s a foolish decision, perhaps laughable being worried, being angered, but you are and you refuse to leave knowing you could’ve done something to help them.

Hastily scouring the floors, a can of Spam discarded below Foxglove stems proves useful enough, tossing it as far as possible where it whacks against the glass wall, immediately averting their attention. 

This is your chance. 

As dark clouds and incoming rain thunder outside, you don’t waste the opportunity, sprinting forward while the men make toward the direction of the sound and hoisting the first cat you see into your arms. 

Sprinting past narrow pathways and dimly lit streets, you force your eardrums numb to the threats they call after you, mind trained on one thing besides getting as far as possible from here.

To Minho to Minho to Minho.

A hand grabbing your shoulder causes you to shriek, swiftly dragged off where you swear your last breaths will be taken, the feline in your arms scrambling with panic.

“What are you doing?” Your captor furiously whispers, hidden in the low lighting of an apparent alleyway.

Wait. You recognize that voice. 

“Hyunjin?”

How does he recognize you?

Just then does a breeze swipe past your head, sending chills trickling down your rain-soaked neck. 

Your hat is gone. Must’ve fell off while you were running. 

“Wh.. what are you doing?” Slipping from his grasp after the men’s hushed conversation becomes inaudible, you regard the man with an incredulous stare.

“Answer my question first,” He reprimands, and as the cat resounds a pained meow do you assess the dire nature of the situation.

You need to get this cat to Minho, and fast. 

“Can’t- Can’t talk right now I’ve got to go—“

“Wait!”

Though, as your footsteps breach the security of the alley, the placating cry of crows mock your left, hurried footsteps belonging to those occupying the Greenhouse heading toward you in rampant haste.

Hyunjin’s hand holding your wrist, you grace a tight-lipped smile his way. 

 “Let’s not see each other like this again, okay?”

He returns a miniature grin, teeming with mischief.

“Agreed.”

Upon letting go, you race off, attempting to speedily navigate back to the train station whilst torrents of streaming droplets cascade down your face. 

“Good luck!” 

“Thanks, I’ll need it!” You respond back, voice permeated against the rain, eyes frantically searching for a place to evade. 

Finally, a crowd appears, swarming amongst diners and flickering street lights.

Your perfect hideaway. 

Swimming through the hive of people, you catapult yourself into the nearest phone booth in sight, fumbling through deep pockets before cashing a coin into the metal slot and jarring your index over slippery metal numbers.

Praying the combination is correct as you hold the wired telephone to your ear, you’re consumed with utmost relief upon hearing The Alchemist’s voice answer on the other side of the crackling line.

Amidst roaring rainfall drowning the booth, you differentiate shouting a ways off, likely belonging to the men from earlier. 

“Mr- Mr. Lee?”

“Yes? Where are you?”

“Are you.. Are you allergic to cats?”

Never in your life did you think you would be so overjoyed seeing blue doors. 

Clambering inside—the rather upset cat in your arms hissing their dismay—you’re overwhelmed with an unexplainable happiness seeing Minho’s face peer from the guest room. 

Relief.

“L/N wha..” 

Words dying in his throat as he gives you a speechless once over, your urge to hug him dissipates instantly, beckoning a new set of garments upon realizing how utterly drenched your precious disguise is.

Simultaneously shoving the cat his way before rushing to your room, you thankfully strip of your fretfully cold attire, welcomed in the comforting embrace of clean clothing.

A mere five minutes later you exit, greeted by Minho’s stockstill frame. Hand half-raised, evidently about to knock.

You forcefully clear your throat, praying the momentary awkward tension is alleviated.

Luckily, The Alchemist takes it upon himself to break the spell, eyes dancing across the floorboards in order to avoid your own.

“Well, she’s stable. Her vitals are fine, nothing too critical apart from a few cuts here and there. Just shaken up.”

Your stare of astonishment earns a confused tip of his head.

“That fast?”

Said (apparently female) cat rubbing her body along your calf with an obviously delighted purr, you appear nearly concussed, crouching down to pat the soft, striped fur lining her back.

Minho snorts.

“What can I say, I get work done.”

Maybe he is a vampire after all.

Mirroring your crouch, he watches your interaction, similarly feline-like inspection unnoticed till glancing up.

And for a swift moment, you swear he saw through you. Lips parted, eyes scrutinizing. Piecing together the building blocks to a wavering structure you’d strived so hard to build, to protect.

No. You’re overthinking. He couldn’t possibly know.

You failed to notice the forlorn look on his face, one that ushers to ask if you’re okay, fetch a hot beverage to warm your evidently cold hands.

“Might I ask how you ended up bringing this one home?”

Leave it to him to take the title as your greatest ally and worst enemy at the same time.

Ah. Right.

“Y’know I was about to get to that-” 

You pause, deriding the high pitch of your voice into something more appropriate. He cocks a brow.

“As I was saying, it wasn’t my intention to bring her back, but the place she was trapped at, the place with the men- the plants..”

According to his expression, you’ve grown two heads.

…

“Go on.”

“Look, the place I found the Chrysanthemum was having cat fights. Do you remember hearing about the dog fights in Gangwon? It’s the same thing. We can’t just sit still while they’re torturing innocent animals.”

“I don’t know what you got yourself into, but I’m an Alchemist, not a hero,” He sighs, and your hand stalls its petting, face falling while the cat in your lap flicks her tail back and forth expectantly.

He has a point. You got yourself into this, you went into the Greenhouse. It’s not his duty to clean up after your messes, but perhaps you can convince him, even by a small margin.

Play a fools game, earn a fools reward.

You’ll mop the floor of your own mess.

“Minho, please. Just this once and I won’t rope you into anything ever again, okay?” 

Stifling silence making an additional appearance, you nervously await the verdict, perched rather hilariously outside of your bedroom door.

Chewing the skin of his cheek, he scolds himself for falling so susceptible to you, though you won’t ever know that.

“Fine, but you’d better have a plan.”

Ah. Great.

You don’t.

At dawn’s arrival you’re swept upward, fixing a hasty bout of tea and toast prior to dressing in the privacy of your appreciated quarters. 

You don a much-needed hat, hopping aboard the first train of the day with a well-dressed Minho in tow.

Retracing your steps turns out easier than you anticipated, The Alchemist tailing you as you had done him at Port Nova.

Though, just when the task seemed a cake walk, you manage a meager detour, regarding your unimpressed mentor.

“From what I can remember, it’s around here somewhere. But I might be wrong, I stumbled upon it by accident and it looks a bit scary but I think—“

“Stop! Stop- Stop talking. Please.”

You quickly shut your mouth, allowing the man to lead instead till the sight of familiar landmarks becomes a gradual reassurance of your location.

Perhaps now it’s safe to talk.

“Mr. Lee, what did Reiner mean by calling you a champion-“

Shoved against the brick wall, your sentence dies instantly, panickedly glancing in all directions assessing the all too familiar pistol Minho‘s drawn, conspicuous in close proximity. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” He enunciates, tone unusually gruff whilst scanning your surroundings.

Your face warms an involuntary pink you clamber to ward off, drawn to the sight of his tense jaw and the feather-like arrangement of long lashes, focused on something elsewhere.

Your retort dies not only from his beauty, but upon the familiar Greenhouse coming into view.

“Looks like we found where your little friends are playing.”

Though, as the man begins forward, you grab him by the sleeve.

“Wait! We can’t just waltz in.”

His hand, slipping from the warmth of his pocket, cups your chin, unbearably close to your face to the point you can feel his breath on your nose. 

Curse the butterflies.

“Well there’s no need for an introduction, so let’s listen this time, shall we?”

Left at a loss for words either from your slack mouth or the concerning amount of sweat building upon your palms, you don’t argue back, lingering right outside the door, craning to hear voices. 

By the sound of it, at least four people are inside at the moment, and the longer you stay out here, the more ample time becomes for additional threats to show up. 

As if reading your mind, he slips through the rugged door, gesturing for you to follow while silently navigating through dense, humid underbrush and overgrown foliage.

However, your quiet voyage is quelled when a twig, unbeknownst to the two of you, cracks under the pressure of his foot. 

“Shit,” He mutters, cringing back at the immediate quietness that ensued.

The Alchemist curses as well.

Interesting.

Amidst the men bearing closer, Minho turns to you, tone urgent. 

“When I get up, you run and free the cats. Don’t look back, just go.”

Nodding hastily, you reacquaint yourself with the area, ensuring a dead set beeline to where the cats were held without interruptions. 

Minho, a split second before you can ask a question, whips the gun from his coat pocket, the sound of bullets whipping through the air enough indication it’s time you go.

Finnicking hands make it hard to unscrew the wired cages, surges of adrenaline helping speed up the rescue as you double check every feline has escaped.

Heeding to instruction, you don’t look for The Alchemist, solely driven to freeing the cats and fleeing the scene. No more problems. 

Almost an exact replica to your last visit here, a hand drags you off right as you exit the Greenhouse doors, back pressed against his (whom you realized was Minho, not Hyunjin, thanks to the leather gloves) front. 

And perhaps from running, perhaps from something else, you can feel his heartbeat, oscillating in a nonstop orchestra that sends your own heart pounding from the confines of your rib cage. 

Stifling a shaky inhale you’d held in as the last of the perpetrators scattered elsewhere, you instantly step back, denying every urge to coddle him like a child, fretfully check him for injury. 

A certain fondness lay reserved for Lee Minho, a fondness you can’t discern of at the moment. 

“C’mon, quick, Soonie might get scared if we’re gone for too long,” He ushers, crashing your tunneling train of thought right off its rails in the process. 

“Yeah-“

You stop.

“Soonie?”

“Yeah, Soonie.”

“You named her?”

“..Yes.”

It’s a genuine struggle hiding your laugh.

“I didn’t find you the type to take in cats.”

“Today you’ve been proven wrong, apparently.”

A sort of giddiness you never experienced fills your chest, wishing nothing more than to look back at the man and swoon. 

How could you not? He was very much dexterous, and attractive without a doubt, that much was known to anyone who laid eyes on The Alchemist.  

Your trek home proved relatively easy, able to skillfully get to the station away from prying eyes and trod along a mixture of gravel and dusty roads without issue.

Silently celebrating your success, you nudge your counterpart's hip, the unimpressed side-eye he grants doing little to dull your happiness.

“Aren’t you an Alchemist? How come you’re oddly good with a gun?”

He clicks his tongue.

“Aren’t you my apprentice? How come you’re getting yourself into trouble when your only instruction was to fetch herbs?”

You conceal a smile he obviously catches, glare failing to quiet your bubbling laughter, his own lips tugging upward.

“It was necessary Mr. Lee! And you know you love Soonie.”

“Unfortunately.”

Nearly a month into her residence, and Soonie has become an effervescent force to be reckoned with. Although initially sassy and wary, she’s transformed into the most affectionate cat you’d ever met.

You have to give it to her, she’s grown on the both of you, a lot.

Plus, you might just have to thank her for unleashing Minho’s tender side, whether that’s the two of them cuddling on the couch while he naps or him picking her up and treating her like a baby while you watch from afar. 

Over the course of the five months you’ve been here, you’ve sent countless checks back home—enough to where dues could finally be paid and the hope for a good life came into view.

Everything seems right, seems ideal. 

But of course, on an equally ideal Thursday evening, a thousand pounds of bricks drops right on top of your head. 

“How long were you planning to keep it from me?” 

He, Lee Minho, The Alchemist, voices.

Simultaneously, your stomach plummets to your feet, peeking over your shoulder to find his back facing you, hunched over a straus flask. 

Then the bomb drops.

“You being a woman, that is.” 

Abruptly pausing, you don’t reply, worried you’d say the wrong thing, unintentionally summon the catalyst to this arising catastrophe. 

Yet, you can’t stay quiet for too long. And a fear lingered inside, a fear that if he looked at you, you would break.

“Forever.” 

Doing just what you dreaded, he turns to you, wearing a horribly serious expression. 

You avoid eye-contact. 

“Because you thought I would fire you?”

A nod. 

“And that’s why you said that, when you first came to me? That you weren’t a woman asking for a job?” 

Another nod. 

He sighs, pulling glasses from atop a hooked nose. You remain staring at the floor.

“I don’t decide who to hire based on what they are. If you can do your job and do it well, you’re worthy enough to work.”

Minho spoke softly, the dim, orange lighting of his lamplight doing little to shake how overwhelming the occasion is, how it feels as if your disguise is wearing, thinning to an impossible degree. 

Except, your world isn’t ending like you thought it would if someone found out, so why do you feel so heartbroken? So overstimulated with realization?

“How did you..” you trail off, raging tears longing to spill. 

No, you can’t afford to cry now. You’ve held out so far, it will stay that way. 

Should stay that way.

Minho dips his head lower in order to fully see you in all your lip-chewing, anxiety-ridden glory. The ghost of a smile rests upon his lips. 

“It was impossible not to tell. You’re unusually tiny, those shoes are massive, and, um, I do the laundry.” 

Watching his once bemused expression dissipate, you mark this as the first time you’ve ever seen him genuinely flustered—and, upon realizing he’d likely seen more than necessary as well, you’re also diminished to a bright red. 

The room wilts in stillness before he exhales, stepping a bit closer to where you linger by the bookshelf, your heels tapping against the frame. 

Tone minimizing itself terribly gentle, The Alchemist carefully collects your cheeks in his hands, urging you to see him, see those terribly thoughtful brown eyes granting a terribly kind disposition. 

“It’s been scary, hasn’t it?” 

Well, you had held out thus far.

Cracking into pieces, you melt like droplets of honey in his fingertips. He perfectly catches them in the jar. 

Out of anyone in this world, you can’t help but be grateful he was the one who found out, found you.

Chest bubbling with breaking sobs, Minho’s thumbs caress your under eyes, swiping away the many salty droplets in their continuous descent. 

Own hands shakily reaching up to hold his resting on your face, you stand there, soaking in his wooded, earthy scent and the soft hums he occasionally emits as if a reminder he’s still there, listening to your cries without intent to leave.

“Mr.. Mr. Lee… It was so scary, I’m so tired Mr. Lee,” You hiccup, mentally berating the endlessly freefalling tears, how your once staved emotions reduced your strong, dutiful voice into nothing but a stuttering mess.

Carefully swiping drool from your chin, he leans forward, planting a kiss on your forehead.

“I don’t know why you did it, but I promise it’ll be okay, we’ll be okay.”

Then another kiss to your forehead, staying there until your sniffling and breathing calms.

Gathering yourself if only slightly, you wrap your arms around his waist, pulling him into a warm hug he gradually accepts after a beat of shock. 

“Thank you, Minho.” 

And just when he thought the shock faded, he’s struck again from the sound of his name leaving your mouth.

Minho. 

Mr. Lee had been charming, but Minho, it was different. A good kind of different. 

He particularly favored the way it sounded falling off your lips, two syllables he’d replay over and over, savoring each a little bit more than the last.

More so, he wished to substitute his nagging thoughts with you, have you narrate the phrases bouncing inside his skull.

Perhaps then everything wouldn’t be so loud, if he had your voice to nullify the battlefield.

Unfortunately forced to separate, Minho adjusts his tie, clearing his throat in a manner you can’t help but feel nervous about. 

You like this flustered Minho.

“I’ll.. I’ll run you a bath.” 

You wince at the rawness of your skin when your face wrinkles in a chuckle.

“Do I smell?” 

Minho, frantically scrambling for an excuse, rubs his temples, exasperation evident in the grooves of his face, the curve and dip of prominent cheekbones portraying a mature visage.

“No I-“ He grumbles. “It helps calm you down.” 

Merely able to halfway staunch your irrevocable glee, you call his name as he begins stepping out, ears an adorable pink.

“Y/N. My name is Y/N. L/N is my last name.”

Not allowing you view of his front-side, you listen to his whispering with delight, testing the newly discovered title on his tongue as if to memorize it.

Ah, you’re falling in love.

Or maybe you’ve already fallen.

Hastily closing the door behind himself and letting you get situated in the bath, it’s not long into your relaxing that you notice a shadow seeping through the door’s crack, a figure standing there, debating.

“Minho?” You announce amusedly, watching the shadow jump and causing you to bite your frothing laugh whilst choosing what to say next. 

“Would you like to join me?”

The Alchemist audibly chokes on his saliva outside the door. 

Sparing a few seconds for him to collect his oxygen, you hadn’t been prepared for when he replies a quiet: “Another time”.

Your eyebrows shoot up with surprise. 

Daring. 

Then his shadow, after furious shuffling, disappears, serving as a reminder of your extended time spent bathing. 

Assembling the copper drain and pulling foreign nightwear over dampened skin, opposed to your usual rush to your room, you allow the chilling air to grant its harsh greeting, leaving the steamy room in its wake.

No more secrets. What a breath of fresh air.

Minho, still cooped up at his desk like routine, barely moves when you place your hands on his shoulders, adorning those charismatic glasses, lips pursed thoughtfully.

“You should go get some rest Mr– Minho,” You beckon, response a sleepy blink of his eyes, obviously exhausted.

“...I really wanted to kiss you.”

The remark drifting off as a murmur, you crane to hear him, wondering if your mind was playing tricks on you. 

“Hm?” Humming, you lightly push his back toward his quarters, the man begrudgingly following your inaudible orders. 

At least he’s cooperating.

Abruptly, he turns around, evading your hands that ease his back forward, sporting a pout adorable enough you might just lose your mind.

How unfair that someone could behave like this and expect you to not go insane.

“When you started crying.” His eyes flicker to your lips, if only for a moment. “I really wanted to kiss you.”

A portion of your stock-still frame wants to blame his tiredness, but another so badly wants it to be true, wants those words to be irrevocably real.

Fighting the urge to scream with how stupidly childish he’s making you feel, you reject every ounce of sensibility, looping one arm around his neck, using your other hand’s index to tug him closer by the belt loop. 

Trust, the feeling is mutual.

Why waste the opportunity?

“What’s stopping you?” 

The utterance barely graces air, and in milliseconds he’s crashing into your lips, a wordless confession it is real, not a mere figment of your imagination.

Stumbling to loosen his tie whilst keeping your faces impossibly connected, you fall deeper and deeper into the manner he tilts his head, expertly diminishing you into puddy in his touch. 

Back and forth, memorizing your taste on his tongue. 

Clumsy footsteps lead to his sofa, your fingers tangled in his dark strands, his kneading your waist.  

And it’s not until your lungs cry for oxygen that you pull apart, Minho’s bottom lip tugged and bitten, yours swollen with his feverish kisses. 

Both of you avidly messy, you can’t bring yourself to care, too busy enjoying the afterglow, his dazed smile.

“Whoever you want to save,” He starts, carefully smoothing over your skin with his thumb . “I will save them, deal?”

Returning that same lazy smile he directs at you, the both of you lean back on the couch, a twine of legs and limbs flailing in every direction.

Close, closer. 

A part of you aches at the thought, blinking up at such a stunning tragedy. Aches knowing you can’t return the favor, can’t say the same, promise him that same promise. 

Because according to the Red Plague, he’s lost that person, those people. So you remain silent, merely hoping one day they’ll receive proper eternal rest. 

That's something you might be able to promise.

Tipping your chin up to where it sits right above his heart, those brilliant eyes of yours blinking up at him do little for his well-being. 

Has anyone told you you’re beautiful? Because he thinks you are, he knows you are. 

Just this once and I won’t rope you into anything ever again, okay?

Minho grins deeper, brows creasing, expression doused in unadulterated adoration. 

“And yet, you rope me into something else,” He whispers to himself. 

“What was that?”  

“Nothing, let’s run another bath. I’ll join you this time, hm?”

FIC TAGLIST. @linocz @foxinnie8 @wonniesverse

sunboki, may 2022 ©

[lino-jagiyaa]

hoping to have a fic up next week 😭

[lino-jagiyaa]

Okay can we have DOM JEONGIN LIKE MANHANDLING. AND DEGRADATION LIKE OMG HE'S SO HOT. AND HIS HANDS. AUGHH OMG

-🩷

Ofc you caaaaan ~

rough dom!jeongin

what is it you want? you want him to toss you around a little? grab at your sides with his big ass hands and literally throw you onto the bed so hard you bounce against the mattress, yelping and laughing out soon after as he crawls over you. you want him to pin you down by pressing his forearm over your chest, keeping your body firmly pressed into the mattress as he fucks into your tight little cunt that he owns.

"tell me whose pussy this is. tell me. say it. say it."

he'll be that type of dirty talker. the type to get so close to your face but refuse to kiss you, whispering and growling out how it's his pussy and it always will be. how he's going to fuck you so much it'll mold to fit his cock and no one will ever fill you up the way he does. the type to, dare i say it, spit in your mouth if you even try to speak back to him. he just wants you silent other than your sweet sounds.

he's the type of rough dom to sit up on his knees and fuck into you like a rabbit, short and shallow thrusts that're rough and so quick that it has you gasping. and as soon as your lips part he'll shove his middle and ring fingers down on your tongue, gagging you and letting spit pool out - and maybe he'll fuck your mouth with his hand, too. he knows how much you like his fingers.

[lino-jagiyaa]

forget me not - lee minho

genre: angst | pairing: minho × gender neutral reader I warnings: breakups, heartbreak, swearing, mentions of self-doubt & depression, lying, toxic communication & behavior, dishonesty, jealousy | masterlist | words: 5224 | do not repost or translate ©︎ lino-jagiyaa

song recs: good enough - xdinary heroes {i’m so sorry, this song is so sad but just trust me.} then a happier song to go with the ending | feel special - twice

taglist: @dadonbabysworld @lynanist @lix-ables @comet-falls @strayingawayy @alyszaen

note : so sorry it took me forever to finish this and that it ended up so long 😭 but don’t worry, there's a happy ending !! i tried my best to proofread all of it but if i missed something or missed a warning, pls lmk! ♡

💭 things between and minho didn't seem to work out. but maybe now you're starting to see things from his perspective

—

—

losing minho took a toll on you. most breakups would do that to anyone, but this one, this one was nothing like any breakup you’ve ever had. he was special to you. hell, you envisioned a future with him. moving in together, marriage, kids even.

but that all ended the day he decided to break your heart. he simply left and never looked back. or was there more to it? there had to be an explanation for his actions. he wouldn’t just leave without reason, would he?

all the questions racking your brain. it’s been six months. six months without him. six months of losing sleep over the emptiness and cold of his side of your bed. six months without speaking to him, only ever hearing how he’s doing through mutual friends and nothing more.

you felt as though you were losing your mind. obsessing over the possibilities of what could have been. what you could’ve missed. what were you missing? you blamed yourself, having no other explanation in your head. the only thing that stuck.

you couldn’t stop thinking back to that day. what he said to you, how he said it, how he pushed you away. sure, he was always a bit reserved. always had been since the day you met him. but that day, that day was so much different. he pushed you away and you couldn’t do anything to stop it or convince him to stay.

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•

“minho, please. please talk to me!”

“i can’t do this, i have to go.”

his face emotionless, trying to cover up the pain and guilt he was carrying. his back turned to you now as he grabbed his bag, and headed for the front door.

“is this it? are you breaking up with me?,” you reached out to grab his arm to make him face you

“don’t touch me.” he nudged you off of him

“min, please! is it something i did? i can’t lose you, just talk to me!” you pleaded

“this is what’s best for both of us. i’m sorry, y/n.”

he turned to you one more time before opening the front door, standing in the doorway for a few seconds before making his way back to his car.

“how could you!? you’re a coward you know, can’t even fucking face me and explain yourself,” you screamed, hot tears falling from your eyes and blurring your vision as you broke down. hearing the door finally click close. the whole thing felt painfully slow.

your friends would always sympathize with you, trying to assure you that everything is okay and that minho just had ‘things to sort out within himself’, but it just didn’t seem right. they were hiding something from you. they had to be.

so here you are, six months after the breakup, sitting in your sociology class waiting for it to end. you had to get to the bottom of this. find out what was really going on in minho’s head.

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•

“minho,” chan starts

“hm?”

“can i ask you something?”

“of course, hyung. what is it?” he questioned, “promise you won’t get mad, okay?”

“spit it out already,” he sighed

“do you miss y/n?”

“no.” minho looks away

“i don’t believe you.”

“you should, it’s the truth.” he huffed

“min, i see the way you look at them when they’re not looking. you must care about them a little, right?”

minho stayed silent. he didn’t want to be having this discussion right now, not at all really. he just didn’t want to think about the way he hurt you.

“don’t lie to me. you can still fix things, you know.” chan continues

“would you just stop it already!? i don’t want to talk about this anymore, chris. i can’t.”

tears started to swell in minho’s eyes. he wanted to fix things between the two of you, and he does. he just doesn’t know how. he doesn’t want to hurt you even more than he already has. but he knows that chan is right, he has to at least try.

“let me ask you this one question, then i’ll stop. i won’t bring them up to you after this, okay?”

“okay.”

“do you love them?”

“y- yes.”

“then fix it. make things right between the two of you.”

“i- i don’t know how… i can’t just come back into their life after six months of silence and hurt them all over again.” minho stammered, sniffling away his tears

“how about i set up a meeting for the two of you, yeah?” chan proposed

chan could see the nervous look on minho’s face now and decided to move closer to him, softly grabbing onto his shoulders, “how about i talk to y/n and set up a time and place for you to meet up and if you’re still anxious about the whole thing by the time i’m done, i’ll go with you. sound good?”

“having you there even just observing would be good, yes.” minho replied

“okay then, it’s settled. now i’m gonna go make the call and let you know the details, okay?”

“yeah.”

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•

chan decided to text you first since he knew you still had class this hour and didn’t want to disturb you just in case you had your notifications on.

chan: hey, is your class almost over?

you: yeah. i’ve got like ten mins till.

chan: ok. can you call me like right after? i need to talk to you about something and i think it’ll be better to talk over the phone.

you: sure?

chan: thanks 👍🏼

after texting with chan you were…nervous to say the least. what was all of this about? ten minutes never felt so long. nonetheless, after the minutes passed and your last lecture of the day was over, you headed out of the room to call chan.

you: hey, you gonna tell me what’s going on?

chan: “well, good afternoon to you too.”

you: sorry, i’m just a little on edge at the moment.” you sigh

chan: i can tell. and i’m sorry to freak you out,” chan let out a nervous laugh, “but…it’s about minho. and before you hang up, i think the two of you need to sort some things out. the whole breakup is taking a toll on you both and i don’t know how long i can just sit back and watch the two of you wither away.” he stressed

you sighed before answering him, “okay.”

chan: “okay?”

you: “yes, that’s what i said. do you want me to meet up with him or not?”

chan: “y-yeah, that’d be great. thank you.”

you: "alright, text me the address and i’ll be on my way.”

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•

after the two of you hung up, you quickly made your way to your apartment to drop off your school bag and get ready for your meet-up with minho. you took a shower and tried to find a decent outfit while you quickly dry your hair. soo after, you received a text from chan telling you the address. it wasn’t far from your apartment so you had enough time to finish getting ready and hopefully shake off any nerves you had on the walk there.

chan: levanter cafe. it’s the one 7 mins away from your apartment. no rush to get here, okay? take your time.

you took one more look at yourself through your hallway mirror before putting on your shoes and walking out the door. the walk to the cafe helped you clear your thoughts more. but it was a relief you were finally getting to clear things up with minho. a second chance to really see his point of view. to understand him better.

when you walked up to the cafe, you could see chan at the counter ordering a drink so you texted him that you had arrived.

you: hey, i’m here.

almost comically, chan started looking in all directions trying to spot you, until he finally saw you step through the door. he reached out an arm to hug you when you walked up to him, “hey, you still okay to do this?” he asked “yeah, don’t worry. it’s okay.” you smiled back at him before hugging him back. “alright, i’m just checking. you know i have to.” “i know channie. where is he?” you ask “at the table in the back. oh, and here’s your drink. i know you’ll need the caffeine. here’s minho’s as well.”

you took it from him and he waved you in the direction of minho. when you got to the table, minho was still looking down at his phone, not expecting you to have arrived yet, assuming chan had come back with their drinks. so you were the first to speak.

you took a seat in the chair right in front of him and set down his and your drinks before speaking. “hi…” you started softly, not wanting to startle him. it didn’t seem to work because once he heard your voice he jumped up in his seat a little bit, putting his phone on the table and straightening up his posture.

“y/n…hi, i wasn’t sure you’d come today.”

you laughed a bit. he was nervous and you could tell. maybe more than you now. “well, i wasn’t so sure i’d show up either. but it was time.” he nods in agreement. “how about i start?” you continue, “i know it’s been hard for you, is hard for you. and it has been for me as well. like really fucking hard and i missed you and life was just shitty for a while, you know?”

“y/n, i am so sorry. i didn’t mean to hurt you. i-i should’ve handled it correctly and told you how i was feeling instead of just leaving and avoiding you.” his head hung low now as he avoided your eyes. he felt like he couldn’t face you. he felt horrible.

“so how were you feeling? what happened to us?”

he looked up now, “it wasn’t your fault. you did nothing wrong, it was all me.” tears, starting to fill his eyes

“you left me. you left and i didn’t know what to do with myself for a long time. i couldn’t eat or sleep. my whole life fell to pieces. so tell me, tell me minho what made you want to do that.”

“i didn’t want to, i swear. i just- just couldn’t figure out what i was feeling. how i was feeling. i knew that i loved you- still love you and i want to be with you but… i was scared. i was scared, y/n because i had never felt so strongly for someone as much as i did for you and i just didn’t want to fuck it up and i ended up doing it anyways. i’m so sorry for hurting you and making you feel that way. i should’ve expressed how i was feeling to you and i should’ve handled it better. i want to fix my mistakes now.” he replied, eyelashes sticking together as his tears began to fall down his face. chan monitoring from a table close by.

“i understand. it’s good that you’re letting it out now, so thank you. i want to fix things between us too. but we can’t just rush it out. we have to take our time. but other than that, i agree. that i’ve never felt what i feel for you, for anyone else and i know that it’ll stay that way forever. even if you hurt me, even if the last words you said to me was awful. i forgive you minho. we can figure this out together if you’re willing” you say, now wiping your own tears.

“i would love that. can i walk you home tonight?”

“doesn’t sound half bad. we should probably finish our drinks first and invite chan back over here before he hurts himself, the way he’s craning his neck to hear us.” you laugh

“you’re right,” minho looked over to chan and motioned for him to come to your table

nearly stumbling out of his chair, chan managed to get up and walk over to the two of you. “so?…” he questioned

“we’ve got it somewhat worked out. definitely need some more time to figure out the rest but for the most part, we’re okay.” you smile

“thank god, i was starting to lose my mind trying to get you two to talk to each other again so i’m glad.”

“oh shut up!” you and minho both replied to chan

chan just laughed at you both. he could see that the two of you did want to be together and you just needed to figure things out slowly. “but i really hope you guys start communicating better, yeah?”

“we will, i promise.” minho replies, sure that it’s the truth this time.

“oh, and once we’re done with our drinks and everything, i’m going to walk y/n home so we can talk a little more.”

“alright, i’ll leave you two lovebirds to it. do you want me to pick you up after?”

minho looked at you for an answer and you were contemplating whether you actually wanted him to go home tonight. “i mean, we can talk about it on the way there? the spare bedroom is still up for grabs if you do want to stay the night, it won't bother me having you there. especially since i haven’t seen you in so long, plus you still have clothes there if you want a shower…”

“oh…yeah that would be nice, thank you.” minho trailed off, trying to distract from the blush growing on his cheeks, acknowledging chan was still there while you were mentioning him spending the night

“well then, i think that’s my cue to leave,” chan chuckled, “text me when you two get there okay?”

“okay, and thanks again… for everything,” you reply

“of course, have a good night you two.”

chan leaves and the two of you just sit there in silence for a bit before heading out yourselves after throwing away your empty cups and waving the baristas goodnight. the walk home seemed slower than usual tonight. like the two of you were too caught up in each other to notice how slowly you were walking. “y/n,” minho called to you, snapping you out of your thoughts. “yeah?”

“um… would it be okay if i took you on a date sometime tomorrow?”

“that would be nice, minho. yes.”

“great, great. we can plan for it together if you want. only since i’m not sure where i want to take you, only that i know i want to spend the day with you,” he laughed nervously, scratching the nape of his neck.

“sure thing. we can figure it out when we get inside so come on.” you say as you unlock and drag him through the front door of your apartment.

after settling in, the both of you had taken showers and changed into comfier clothes and decided to watch something together in your living room. the two of you sat in the comfortable silence of each other’s presence for a while before you decided to break the ice. “hey, min?”

“hm?” he turned to face you with the softest look on his face.

“oh, i just was wondering if you wanted to take the guest room tonight? it’s already set up. but you don't have to sleep in there tonight if you don’t want-”

“where do you want me to sleep tonight?” he said gently, turning his whole body to face you now and resting his hands in the space separating the two of you. it took you a second to respond to him. you wanted to make sure you said the right thing, not wanting to push him away or push any boundaries since the two of you had just started to reconnect only today.

“well, i’m not opposed to you sleeping in my room. o-only if you want to of course. it’s no pressure if you don’t. and-” you were babbling and waving your hand defensively, so minho gently grabbed onto both of them, holding them in his own to calm you down.

“y/n, it’s okay. i’m comfortable as long as you are, so wherever you’re the most comfortable with me sleeping tonight is where i’ll stay.” he gave you a soft smile to reassure you.

you were relieved, to say the least. your mind still racing on the fact that he’s sitting in front of you right now, holding your hands.

“do you just wanna call it a night and sleep now? i’ve noticed the way you’ve looked exhausted since we got home, it’s okay to get some rest.”

“of course you’d notice,” you laugh

“well that’s what happens when you’ve been in love with someone for so long. now come on, i’ll stay with you for a while then go to the guest room if you get sick of me,” minho laughed back, grabbing you by the arm and dragging you to your once shared room.

you felt your face heat up at his comment, yet you say nothing.

once the two of you were settled in, you both just sat on opposite sides of the bed facing towards your bedroom door, not sure if you should talk or just go to bed.

“well…i should probably try to go to sleep now. goodnight minho.” you blurt out and carefully roll onto your side, so as not to accidentally bump into minho.

“alright. sweet dreams, y/n. i’ll sleep in a bit. i’m not too tired yet.”

“that’s fine,” you say as you close your eyes

—

you had been asleep for an hour, maybe an hour and a half when you felt minho shifting on the bed. your back was facing him so you couldn’t see him at all but you noticed he was kind of tossing and turning. it was obvious he couldn’t fall asleep but you didn’t say anything or make it obvious at all that you were awake now.

minho huffed, now laying on his back and with his arms on top of the blanket you two shared. you kept your eyes closed, attempting to get back to sleep, hoping minho would finally be able to as well. but that wasn’t the case.

a few minutes goes by and you assumed minho had ust falle asleep since he hadn’t really moved in a while, but as soon as you had almost drifted back to sleep, minho leaned a little closer to your side of the bed.

“y/n, are you asleep?”

“hm?” you reply

“sorry to wake you, i just couldn’t fall asleep.”

you turn on your other side to face him, “no, no. it’s okay minho, what do you need?”

“um, if it’s okay with you, can we cuddle? if you’re not comfortable, it’s okay. i’ll just go for a walk or something to get tired.” minho says, looking away from you

“no, it’s too late to go for a walk,” you thought about it for a second before answering, “it’s okay. we can cuddle.” you gave him a reassuring smile

“a-are you sure? you don’t have to, it’s fine-”

“i know. i figure you haven’t been sleeping well lately either?”

“yeah.”

“well, we can fix that today then.” you tell him, scooting closer to him and moving his arms to frame your waist. nuzzling your face into his chest to get comfortable.

“goodnight minho.”

“goodnight.” you waited a bit to make sure he was actually asleep before drifting off yourself. you knew it was time once you felt his chest slowly rise and fall and his heartbeat matching the speed of yours.

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•

when you woke up, the sun was peeking through your curtains and you groaned. wanting to stretch and shield your eyes from what felt like blinding light shining in your face. but you couldn’t move much. you had almost forgotten that minho had stayed over last night when you looked up and say that he was still holding onto you but he seemed to be fully awake now, scrolling on his phone.

“good morning sleepy head,” he smirked

you groaned again before replying, “why are you up so early?”

“early? honey, it’s already 10 am. you’re lucky it’s already the weekend, otherwise you’d be late to class.”

you almost jumped out of bed after hearing him. “what!? minho, why did you let me sleep so late? weren’t we supposed to go out today?” you complained

“y/n, it’s fine,” he laughed at your concern, “ we hadn’t even made a solid plan about it yet, remember? you were sleepy so i was waiting till morning to bring it up again.”

you slump back down in the bed, now laying on your back and staring at the ceiling. “oh, that’s right. well then did you end up thinking of somewhere to go?”

minho put his phone down on his lap, “mm, at first i was thinking we could go for a walk in the park and then have a picnic there but then i was thinking about how you haven’t seen soonie, doongi, and dori in a while and that you probably miss them. would you like to see them today?”

“yeah, i do miss seeing them. but i also think going for a walk and a picnic is a good idea too,” you smile

“okay, then that’s what we’ll do.” he smiled back

“oh, don’t you have to go back to your place to change and everything?” you ask

“mhm. i’ll do that when you’re getting ready and once you’re done you can text me and i’ll be back to pick you up.”

“sounds good- wait…i still have you blocked…”

minho laughs, “i get it. at least you didn’t get a new number or delete my contact. so it’s fine.”

you awkwardly laugh and go to grab your phone so you could unblock him.

“check if you can text me now.”

he typed something short and a second later your phone pinged with his message. you also realized you had changed his contact name, but you weren’t going to let him know that part.

—

minho had called chan to let him know that he needed to be picked up and would be going back over to your place after showering and getting everything ready for your date. so once chan pulled up in your driveway, you walked with minho to your front door to wake goodbye to chan who was waiting in his car for him. once the two of them left, you went to go take your shower.

stepping out of the shower, you dried yourself off and went to search for an outfit. you wanted something casual since you were going to end up playing around with minho’s cats but you also wanted something cute since you were going on your first date with minho in forever. in the end, you had decided on a simple short-sleeved top that you could pair with a cardigan if the weather became more windy. and you were going to pair it with a pair of black corduroy pants.

looking at yourself in the mirror, you caught yourself smiling. you were so excited to finally be back in minho’s life and him in yours. and you could tell he was just as excited, considering the way he acted the night before and this morning.

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•

once you were done getting yourself ready, you wanted to bring something with you for the picnic so that minho wasn’t the only one showing up with food so you texted chan to see what minho was going to bring.

you: hey, chan? are you with minho rn? chan: yeah, something wrong? you: no, nothing is wrong. i was just wondering what minho was packing for our picnic date and didn’t want to ask him directly since i wanted what i’m bringing to be a surprise. chan: ah, i see. he’s still cooking right now but he said he was bringing ox bone soup and dumplings. he didn’t say anything about drinks so you could probably bring those? you: okay thank you. chan: yeah, no problem

---

with what chan had told you about the food minho was bringing, you decided to make some gimbap and go out to buy your and minho’s favorite drinks from the convenience store that was within walking distance from your apartment. after grabbing the drinks, you found some candy that you thought minho might want to share with you so you bought that and the drinks and headed back home to make the gimbap.

since you only had one thing to make, it didn’t take you very long so you packed the food and snacks up into bento boxes and wrapped them in a cloth so they would stay together on the way to the park. you made sure you had everything you needed in your bag before texting minho letting him know that you were ready for him to pick you up.

it didn’t take him long to pull into your driveway and once he did, you grabbed your things and made sure your door was locked.

“hey, you all set?” minho asks you with a smile as you open the passenger door “mhm,” you smile back “oh you brought food? you didn’t have to, i had made some as well.” “i know. i wanted to surprise you. but don’t worry, it’s something small and some drinks for us.” “ooh okay, well then we can head off now.”

—

the drive back to minho’s place was filled with the soft music that played on his radio and the comfortable silence you shared. you just stared out your window, lost in your own thoughts as you watched the city pass by.

“we’re here,” minho said as he pulled into his driveway

it felt kind of strange being back at his apartment after all this time but in the same moment, it felt good being able to be here and not feel that churning feeling in the pit of your stomach. you didn’t feel anxious or worried. everything right now feels good and happy.

as soon as minho opened the door, his cats came swarming at him but they stopped as soon as they noticed you were right behind him. you thought it was maybe because they had forgotten you or didn’t like you anymore, but that was far from the case.

the three of them looked so happy to see you again. all nudging against your ankles and meowing for your attention. so you crouched down to pet them properly and it seemed as though they were all fighting for your attention, now ignoring minho as he attempted to greet them some more.

you had somewhat forgotten that some animals' perception of time is frayed. a day can feel like a long time, never mind six months. but luckily, the sweet cats that you missed had remembered you and were visibly happy to see you.

after playing with them for what felt like hours, minho haad ordered dinner in for the two of you so you ate while watching a drama before calling it a night.

minho drove you home as the sun started setting. the drive back to your place felt so calm. the sound of the wind brushing past your ears and minho kept stealing glances at you every once in a while. once the two of you got back to your apartment, minho had insisted in walking you back to your door.

“our date today was perfect, hopefully you feel the same.” minho smiled

“mhm, i had so much fun. it was nice to go out again.” you reply, smiling ear to ear

“maybe i can take you on another date soon, if you’d like?” he asked

“i’d love that, minho”

he held onto your hands just like he had a few hours before, you were kind of glad that he was making all of the first moves. you were nervous to mess something up.

“y/n?”

“yes?”

“can i…kiss you?”

“i was wondering when you were going to ask. yes, minho.”

with that, he leaned in, planting the softest kiss to your lips. you missed this feeling. you missed this feeling with him. the butterflies growing in your stomach as minho gently placed a hand on your face. he smiling into the kiss, which was driving you crazy.

when the both of you pulled away, you could feel the redness forming on your face and see the way minho’s was the same. “you have no idea how much i missed doing that.” minho laughed

“oh, trust me. i do.”

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•

weeks had gone by since your first do over date with minho and the two of you were on great terms. since then, the two of yu had been going on weekly dates. and those weekly dates turned into dates two days a week. soon enough, the both of you were starting to consider yourselves a couple again. spending almost everyday with each other if possible. that meant walking each other to classes on school days, driving the other to work depending on who had earlier hours, and hanging out anytime in between.

everything between you was starting to come together again. and the two of you were sure this time that you’d make it work no matter what.

you gotta fight for what you love, right?

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

if you enjoyed my fic, please consider reblogging and leaving a comment! i'd love to hear your thoughts/feedback ♡

[lino-jagiyaa]

dear (ex)lover.

group: stray kids !

pairing: idol!kim seungmin x f!reader

genre: pure angst, letter

warnings + additional info: seungmin is referred to as seungmin and min, seungmin was (and still is) a dick, seungmin is a player, seungmin led reader on, reader reminisces the past, reader blames seungmin for the downfall of their relationship (rightfully so), reader has past trauma from relationships, mentions of waiting till marriage, reader has body image issues, reader has been depressed, reader has trust issues, reader misses seungmin, just a really really sad angsty letter, intended lowercase, written in letter format.

authors note: okay. im so sorry for this... this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 1033

dear lover,

why don’t we talk anymore? i remember, you told me i was your best friend once. i remember, i was your best friend before i was your lover. i understand, your love for me is gone now, but weren’t we supposed to be friends? didn’t you tell me we could go back to the way it was? so why don’t you talk to me? why do you avoid my eyes when you see me? why do you ignore my texts?

why do you only speak to me when it’s convenient for you?

i remember when i first opened up to you, my love. i told you i didn’t fit in with the group. i didn't think you needed me, and i didn’t think the others did either. you told me you didn’t know you needed me until i was in your life. do you still need me? why did you love me like that if you were just going to ghost me in the end? we talked about so much. you bought me my wedding ring. i wore my heart on my sleeve for you. you gave me a promise ring. why did you break your promise? why did you write so many love letters to me, knowing that you were leaving in the end?

what did i do to be treated like this? i should have been better to you, right? it’s my fault, right? i had to have done something… right? what did i do? i can do better, i can. i can be a better friend, i promise. you were my first real friend. you held me when things were hard. i need you to hold me once more. you always did my hair all nice to distract me. i miss when you’d braid it. you even played with my stuffed animals with me. you were the first person who accepted me for me.

why don’t you like me anymore? why am i always the one to approach you? did you only speak to me because i spoke to you first? was this all one-sided and you only spoke to me because i annoyed you till you replied? i didn’t know. i didn’t know that i was being annoying. i didn’t realize it. i thought you wanted me too. i’ve been having nightmares again. you told me you’d be there. it’s funny, isn’t it? you promised you’d always be there, but now you’re the cause of them. you broke my trust. you fucked up, and i forgave you. again and again, i forgave you. i took you back for every mistake you made.

why did you take my heart for granted? why did you break me like this? am i unlovable? did you grow tired of me? could you not stand me anymore like the others? the boys told me what you said about me. what you said about my body. i know i don’t look the same anymore, but can’t you still love me? am i really all that different now? or maybe you just don’t want someone who rots in bed all day. yeah, they told me that part too. maybe you couldn’t deal with my past trauma. i’ve lost people in the past like i lost you before. you told me you wouldn’t leave me. not the way they did, at least. but you did. you left, and you ruined me in the process.

maybe i am unlovable. maybe this was meant to happen. was it for the better? did you mean it when you said you loved me those last nights we spent together? did you find it fun? breaking my heart? was it nice to watch me fall apart that night on my bedroom floor? was it fun to use my own pain against me? was it fun telling me it was my fault? did it take some of your guilt away?

i’m mad at you, still.

but a part of me still loves you. a part of me still wants to forgive you, and i don’t know why. i shouldn’t, i know. you don’t deserve my forgiveness. you don’t deserve anything i have to offer. but i still want to forgive you. i still want to love you like i used to. i still want to tell you that im here for you, and i still want to hold you while we fall asleep. i still want to brush away your tears, and i still want to do your skincare for you. but you’re fading away from my life. i don’t know the person i fell in love with anymore, because they aren’t you. i miss his sweet voice, and i miss his melting touch. i miss the sound of his heartbeat, and i miss his heart. but it’s always going to be you, isn’t it? it’s always been you. you’re the person i love most, but the feelings are fading away too. i want to keep them with me. i want to hold it all so tight that your love can’t escape anymore, but you’re gone. you’re gone, and you took my heart with you.

i’m sorry. was i not good enough for you? i wish i could have been the one for you. i don’t know if i’m allowed to say it, but i miss you, min. i miss our late night laughter, i miss our runs to the coffee shop. i miss the bond we had. where did it go? why am i the only one putting effort into this stupid friendship anymore? why do i always text first? why am i begging for you to love me again?

it’s stupid.

this is stupid.

you’re stupid.

i hate you.

i hate you for using me.

i hate you so much for ruining us.

i hate you for ruining what we had.

i hate you for ruining every memory with you.

i hate you for ruining me for anybody else.

you ruined me.

they’ll never be you.

no one will ever be you.

i hate you, kim seungmin.

i hate you.

i miss you.

i miss you, and i hate it.

i hate it.

i hate you.

i love you, your ex lover.

</3

[lino-jagiyaa]

☆ Blow The Whistle ☆

☆ Lifeguard! Felix x fem! reader (18+)

☆ Summary: The summer heat has you desperate to cool off in an unconventional way...

☆ Warnings: smut, one night day stand, semi public sex, not proofread, MDNI

☆ Word count: 2.3 k

Australian summers are brutal. That’s why you and your closest friends have found refuge at the water park for the day. There’s a slight breeze once in a while which makes the heat bearable without being submerged in water constantly. You’ve set up camp on a few beach chairs with tote bags filled with snacks, towels, and ample amounts of sunscreen. You look like the textbook example of relaxation; oversize cat-eye sunglasses, a cute cover-up draped over your shoulders and laying back on the chair. 

What broke your relaxation was the shrill shriek of a whistle from a lifeguard. You move your sunglasses down the bridge of your nose to peer at the cause of the loud interruption. He blows into the whistle again. Why can’t some kids just follow the rules? 

To your surprise, at the other side of the pool, was one of the cutest lifeguards you’ve had the pleasure of seeing. His eyes were obstructed by reflective sunglasses, but they were framed by freckles that blessed his tanned honey skin. Bleach-blonde, sun-kissed hair that was slightly wavy and fluffed. You got the feeling that if he wasn’t forced to wear a shirt for this job, he’d be topless; the tank top he wore had the sides cut so wide that you could start to see his broad pecs and defined abs. Snug board shorts showcased his toned thighs that were splayed out against the white wooden chair. You didn’t even realize you were staring, eyes glazed over, until he turned towards you and sent a shy wave. You snapped out of it and waved back, which seemed to satisfy him since he smirked and went back to scanning the pool for troublemakers on top of his chair. 

A splash of water and a mess of wet hair emerged right at the edge of the pool. 

“Y/n, will you join your besties in the pool already?” One of your friends asked, arms folded against the edge of the pool. “There’s this group of cute guys we’re talking to-” She exclaims, pointing behind her. 

“They’re all yours, because I,” You gesture to the lifeguard. “Have my sights on him. Also, I need to go refill my water bottle. So don’t mind if I do-” You stand up from your seat.

 “Right… water refill… let me know how it goes!” She splashes water at you teasingly before wading back to her group. Was it a coincidence that you had to pass the lifeguard to get to the water fountain? Most likely. Now’s your chance, you thought. As you approached him, he noticed you and turned his head. He tried hiding his grin but failed. “Hey,” you greeted him, leaning an arm against the large wooden chair, painted white. He rested his forearms atop the armrests and had his legs crossed. 

“Hey,” he replied, his voice deep and smooth. 

He’s only said one word and you’re already addicted. “Great day out, isn’t it?” He asks, and you realise you could listen to him forever. 

You huff out a laugh. “Yeah, I suppose.” He perked up at your response. 

“Oh? And why do you only suppose?” He inquires. 

“Well, in a perfect world, all these kids would follow the rules so you can retire blowing into that annoying whistle.” He laughs at your confession. “In a perfect world, I’d be in the break room eating lunch. Yet here we are.” His accent was like the final straw as his baritone voice left his plump lips. “I’m Felix.” He reaches out a hand. 

“I’m y/n.” You shake his hand. He’s gentle yet firm, and slides his hand back to the armrest as if he didn’t want to let go. He clears his voice. 

“I- um, I like your outfit. It suits you well, y/n”. He admits bashfully. You blush at his confession. Was he trying to flirt? 

“Ah, thanks Felix, if you think so.” You reply. 

“I do think so.” He says, in a spur of confidence. You squirm internally. You couldn’t handle much more of this- tension. It’s not every day that he stumbles upon someone like you- someone who he could barely keep his composure around. He was suddenly aware of every fiber in his body, wondering if his hair looked good or if there was sunscreen still smeared on his face. 

“Well,” you sigh. “I should probably go. This bottle won’t refill itself.” You shake the empty water bottle in your hand. 

“Y/n, wait!” He exclaims, startling you a bit. His cheeks were tinted pink with a blush. 

“Um, my break should be in… five minutes. The break room has an ice dispenser, I can let you in? So you don’t have to use the lukewarm fountain water.” He checks the watch on his wrist and he sounds a little nervous at his proposal. 

“Oh- um, sure! I’ll wait by my chair, then.” Taken aback, you tried not to sound too excited at the thought of spending time with Felix, alone. Feeling giddy, you shuffle back to your beach chair, which now feels miles away as you feel his eyes trailing after you. Safe to say you counted down every second until Felix’s replacement swapped him out. He does little to stop the grin creeping up on his face as he approaches you, taking his time. 

“Shall we?” He proposes, the timbre of his voice delectable. You nod with a smirk.You try your best to gracefully stand from your position, but unfortunately, beach chairs were not designed with that in mind. There was tension in the air between you as he led you through the pathways inbetween pools and slides. The death grip on your water bottle was turning into a cramp in your hand, but there wasn’t much available to soothe your nerves. The only sound was the squeak of flip flops as you walked adjacent to eachother. Felix spoke up suddenly. “It’s right up here.” he gestures. You hum in reply. When you approach the ‘Employees Only’ door, Felix punches in the passcode while you wait behind him. His tank top was slightly billowing against his toned back in the breeze. The door unlocked and Felix grabbed the handle, subsequently holding it open for you. 

“Oh! Thanks,” You exclaimed before He graced you with a small smile and a nod. A rush of cool air smacks you in the face as the heavy door closes behind both of you. You turn to see Felix standing behind you, leaning against the closed door, effortlessly charming. His hazelnut eyes were lidded with a glint of desire. 

“We have the room all to ourselves, you know.” He says. Your breath hitches at what he seems to be suggesting. So, you step closer. You can see his chest moving with every breath he takes.. You brought your right hand up to grasp at the whistle and cord hanging around his neck.The damned whistle was calling out for you to just tug it so his puffy lips can finally meet yours. His eyes were inviting you closer as they pierced your own. When you were so close you could feel his shallow breath on your lips, he closed the gap. Subsequently, you tugged slightly at the cord which earned you a soft groan. His lips weresoft but not too moist, like he had just applied chapstick. He dragged his body closer to you and placed the palms of his hands gingerly at your hips, partially covered by your swimsuit. He pulls his face away, just barely in order to speak.

“Tell me you want this- or I'll let go and we can forget it happened.” His voice is airy and his stare hasn’t left yours ever since he pulled away. It was electrifying. Granted, you don’t get this opportunity often- or at all. Maybe that was why you found it so thrilling. 

“I want this- want you.” Both of your hands moved to the junction between his neck and collarbones. Your eyes communicated a silent plea; one that Felix would never forgive himself for if he ignored. With a smirk, he dove back in. His freckled cheeks grazed your cheekbones with how deep he kissed you. His blonde hair fell forward as he tilted his head. At the same time, his thumbs were making little circles against your hips, gliding over your swimsuit before digging in to hook them underneath and into the supple flesh. You whined against his lips, and counteracted by sliding your hands down his exposed sides. You could feel every ripple of muscle, and his stomach tensed when you pased right at his lower waist. As an excuse to pull yourself even closer, you reached behind Felix and locked the door. 

“Come here,” He growled against your lips, and led you to the wide armchair across the small room, with a little table adjacent to it where you set down your water bottle with haste. You grinded against eachother until the fabric felt unbearable. His hands move to your lower back to spin you around, so he can sit against the chair and pull you into his lap, facing eachother. You sat atop his toned thighs, the fabric of the chair adding much needed comfort.  He pulled your face back onto his as your tongues intertwined. As he was licking into your mouth with vigor, your hands roamed eachother’s tense bodies. You felt like you were floating when he pulled your cover up off of your shoulders as it fell onto his feet. 

“My turn,” You spoke, slowly and sdeuctively. Your hands grabbed at the hem of his tank top to pull it over his head, his whistle hitting his chest. The wide planes of his chest and shoulders glistened in the fluorescent light. You ran your hands down his chest as he loosed a sigh onto your lips. Meanwhile, his hands inched towards the apex of your thighs, still covered by your swimsuit, but no doubt messy with your arousal. 

“Hmm, I did this to you, yeah?” The pads of his right hand caress your folds through the fabric. A wanton moan escapes you. You smirk when you look down to see the tent in his shorts, desperately trying to press against you. 

“I can say the same for you,” You counter. The palm of your hand ghosts over his hardness before pressing down slowly. He whines impatiently. 

“I can unzip these, yeah?” You ask. 

“Anything you want, just hurry up.” He squirms under you. You huff at his impatience, and undo his shorts with one hand, shoving his underwear down too. His length is weeping at the tip, swollen and dusty pink. Shuffling as close as you can, Felix pulls the lowest part of your swimsuit to the side with nimble fingers. You shiver as they brush against your folds in the heat of the moment. Grabbing him gently at the base, you align him with your hole, aching with need to quench that empty feeling. He slides against you with ease, the tip catching against your entrance before you sink lower, relieving the muscles in your thighs. His breathing is deep and controlled; His warm brown eyes were full of adoration and eagerness, focused on your lower half. His hands were glued to your hips, periodically squeezing and kneading the flesh.

“So pretty, hah…” He sighs, catching his breath as you reach the hilt. You tilt your head forward to press featherlight kisses to his freckled cheeks before landing on his bottom lip, catching it between your teeth to suck on. His cock throbs with pleasure, overwhelmed yet aching for more. Felix’s hips buck up from their own accord, catching you by surprise, sparks of electricity coursing up your body. His hands helped to guide you up and down his length, coated in slick. 

The loud hum of the A/C muffles the mixtures of sounds you’re producing. Every upwards thrust releases a breathy moan as you shiver with pleasure. Your nails scratch against Felix’s shoulders which causes a grunt to topple from his lips, reddened from fervent licks and kisses. Every time your hips hit against his, Felix’s grunts and groans increase in pitch until he’s whining and whimpering with that saccharine low timbre. His sounds add to the build up of your release, as the upwards movements of his thrusts falter as pleasure takes over. 

“You’re close, yeah? Please tell me you’re close…” He whines. You gasp as the feeling of your climax climbs higher and higher, you can almost taste it. The head of his cock nudges that sensitive spot against your plush inside, consequently making you clench around him. 

“Felix-!” You gasp. “So close, oh my god, Felix! Fuck-”. Your body squirms with delight as Felix wraps his forearms around your lower back, your hands splayed out against his shoulder blades. 

“Cumm-ing Y/n-! shit- I’m cumming-” His voice is strained as the final thread snaps. You feel like you’re floating as waves and waves of pleasure fall through you, eyes closed as your chin rests against the firm muscle between Felix’s neck and shoulder. The air is filled with twin gasps for air as you both come back to reality. The palms of his hands make soothing circles against your sides as you slide out with a deep breath, wincing. 

“Was that okay?” He asks, switching back to his shy demeanor. You sigh with content. 

“That was… definitely more than okay.” That seems to soothe his nerves. 

“I definitely need water now…” You say. He spins you around so he’s leaned up against your back. 

“Mmh, Sure thing.” He grumbles. He leaves a chaste kiss against the nape of your neck, in hopes that you’ll return his feelings. 

“Come to the park again tomorrow, yeah?” You nod in response. 

A dense thud against the door has you both jumping out of your skin and scrambling to your feet. 

“Oi Felix! You good bro?”

Check out my other works here~

[lino-jagiyaa]

The Doll House | M.List & Intro

doll!enha (hyung line) x fem!reader warnings: smut (mdni), dolls, mentions of possession and demons, specific warnings on individual chapters synopsis: when you're strapped for cash and an opportunity arises to help you out, you're stuck in a mansion with 4 human-like dolls who do anything but sit still. taglist: closed!! a/n: hi! so this was actually inspired by this ask and originally i was thinking of making it a long one-shot but then i was like, what if each hyung line member got their own chapter? so here we are! below is an introduction into the fic so make sure you read it before going into the chapters! they should be released every 1-2 weeks but i still have to write them so it's tbd right now.

warnings: fluff, smut (mdni), subby!jake, oral (m. rec), slight throat fucking, whimpering and whining, pet names (baby doll, pup)

wc: 7.7k

release date: 23rd April

synopsis: it's your first week at your new job and you make a shocking revelation that puts your world in a spin and lets you experience something you never knew was possible

warnings: smut (mdni), oral (f.rec), fingering, doggy, seduction, fucking on a desk, more tbd

wc: tbd

release date: 30th April (subject to change)

synopsis: once you find out the dolls' secret, you're left alone with park sunghoon who promises to keep your rendezvous with jaeyun a secret from their owner, but not without something in return

warnings: smut (mdni), fingering, seduction, fucking on a piano, pet names (good girl, sweetheart), softdom!jay, more tbd

wc: tbd

release date: 7th May (subject to change)

synopsis: your friend comes to visit you in the mansion and help out but her harsh words towards the dolls brings out a protective side, and jongseong lets you in on some secrets about the house

warnings: smut (mdni), oral (m&f.rec), throat fucking, rough, kinda dom!hee, doggy, choking, pet names (baby, angel), mentions of demons, revelations and conclusion

wc: tbd

release date: 14th May (subject to change)

synopsis: with only 2 weeks left, you have formed a bond with each of the dolls, well, all of them except heeseung. as you snoop around his room to find out more about him, he gives you all the answers you're looking for and more

“How long for how much?” 

"Two months, 5k, just cleaning some woman's house," Mia responds, placing the newspaper in front of you with a dramatic flourish, the ad circled in pink glitter pen.

Taking the paper from her, you wrinkle your brow and examine the advertisement with scepticism and intrigue, "Isn't it strange that she's advertising in the newspaper? Who even reads these anymore?" Upon closer inspection, you sneer and return it to Mia, your fingertips leaving light smudges on the paper, "And she didn't even put her name, just 'Ms. Kim'."

This whole situation feels odd. What employer doesn’t post an ad on the internet like a normal person? 

"She's probably ancient, Y/N. Old folks aren't exactly tech-savvy," Mia offers, attempting to rationalise the oddity.

Despite your reservations, the need for employment weighs heavily. Losing your job last month has left little time for finding a new one, and the bills certainly haven't stopped coming. £5000 for two months' work is an enticing offer, especially considering your previous job paid a fraction of that for an entire month's work.

You sigh, running a hand through your hair as you contemplate the offer. The uncertainty gnaws at you, but the allure of some financial stability is hard to ignore. Mia watches you, her expression a mixture of concern and anticipation as she awaits you to make up your mind. She could use the money too, giving her some extra cash to pay for her birthday trip in a couple of months.

"You know what?" you finally say, breaking the heavy silence that hangs between you. "Let's give it a shot. It's just two months, right? And we could really use the money."

Mia's face lights up with a grin, her enthusiasm infectious, "That's the spirit! Besides, how bad could it be? It's just cleaning."

You nod in agreement, though a lingering sense of unease tugs at the edges of your mind like a persistent itch you can't scratch. Pushing it aside, you focus on the prospect of income and the relief it would bring.

"Alright then," you say, mustering up a smile despite the nagging doubts that linger in the back of your mind. "Let's do it. But if anything feels off, we bail, deal?"

Mia nods enthusiastically, already dialling Ms. Kim’s number on her phone, her eagerness palpable as she eagerly anticipates the adventure that lies ahead.

_____

The drive to Ms. Kim's house feels never-ending, with each mile leaving the city behind and the surroundings blurring into an everlasting blur of trees and road. You check the satnav, hoping for a break from the monotony, only to see that, tragically, it still shows an hour left on the journey.

The scenery outside appears stuck in time, with the trees going past in a repeated rhythm that does little to break the spell of boredom. You peek at Mia, who sits next to you in the driver's seat, her expression conveying a similar mix of frustration and resignation.

The radio drones on in the background, a pitiful attempt to break the quiet that hangs thick in the air. You reach over and fumble with the dial, hoping to find a distraction, but each station either plays static or music you've heard a thousand times before.

“You seriously need to get a better car, Y/N. I told you we should have taken mine,” she snips at you, the journey clearly getting to her. You had run out of conversation in the first hour, discussing your non-existent love life and jobs that you have applied for. Since nothing was going on in your life, there wasn’t much to talk about.

“We said we would take mine so she would feel pity and give us more money,” you grumble, sinking into your seat in protest. If this woman has enough money to spend on random girls cleaning her house, she could have some more to throw at you as charity; you’ll take anything at this point.

The drive continues until finally, you pull up to Ms. Kim’s house. But calling it a house feels like a gross understatement; it's a mansion, a sprawling castle that looms larger than life before you. 

A long gravel path stretches out before you, leading up to the imposing sand-coloured building. The mansion seems to bask in its own magnificence, the rustic feel and unkept garden only add a sense of eeriness to your wonder.

You exchange a glance with Mia, both of you momentarily speechless. This is not what you expected when you answered the ad in the newspaper. You expected it to be big, obviously, she wasn't going to give out 5k for a studio apartment, but this is on another level of anything you could have imagined.

Mia locks the car door, unsure whether to approach the large double doors. She outstretches her hand for you to take, seeking your comfort as she takes the first steps. You both look like you’re back in your first year of high school, scared that as soon as you step foot in the place, it will swallow you whole.

“We’re supposed to clean this every day?” you ask in disbelief.

Shaking her head, Mia tries to convey a sense of confidence in her voice yet it fails, “Surely not, the travel alone is too much for someone to do every day.”

With hesitant steps, you both make your way to the entrance, your finger reaching out to press the doorbell which rings a faint familiar tune, one you’ve heard plenty yet could never place the name. For a moment, there is only silence, and you begin to wonder if anyone is home. But then, with a creak that seems to reverberate through the very foundations of the mansion, the door slowly swings open, revealing a dimly lit interior shrouded in shadow.

A woman stands in front of you, her elegant clothes and neatly styled hair give her the appearance of a 90s supermodel. She doesn't resemble the idea you had of Ms. Kim. "Y/N and Mia?" she inquires, her voice smooth and melodious, a twinkle of delight in her eyes as she tilts her head with a smile.

You share a puzzled look with Mia. This woman could not possibly be Ms. Kim. For starters, she seems way too young to be the owner of this castle; she had to be just slightly older than yourself and you can barely afford to buy a loaf of bread. The advertisement plainly said that Ms. Kim was looking for help, hinting that she was an elderly homeowner in need of assistance. Second, the decision to advertise in a newspaper rather than somewhere like Indeed does not fit the image of a 20-something.

Your mind races with questions, but before you can express your reservations, the woman motions for you to follow her into the mansion. With a shared look, you and Mia exchange a silent agreement, remembering that you promised to bail as soon as anything got weird. 

As you cross the threshold, the heavy wooden door slams behind you with a bang and you follow the mystery woman deeper into the mansion's maze halls, you can't help but feel like there's more to this situation than meets the eye.

“My name is Kim Soonyeol, Ms. Kim is probably how you know me. I am so happy you answered my ad so promptly! I was scared no one would answer it,” she explains.

Walking through the large hallways, you notice one thing that seems to be a prominent feature.

Dolls. 

Lots and lots of creepy, old-timey porcelain dolls. They line the shelves, perched on antique furniture, and seem to stare at you with unblinking eyes as you pass by. Their features are fixed, ranging from serene to sinister, each contributing to the feeling of discomfort in the air.

Mia's grip on your hand tightens, and you can feel the tension radiating from her as she whispers, "Do you think they all have cameras in their eyes?" Her words send a chill down your spine, and you can't help but entertain the unsettling thought.

The woman leading you through the mansion seems unbothered by the presence of the dolls, her demeanour calm and composed as she gestures for you to follow. But you can't shake the feeling that there's something deeply wrong about this place.

"I am going away on some business for 2 months," she begins, her voice echoing through the cavernous halls, "and I need you to clean this entire house from top to bottom as well as a few...other errands."

Her words hang in the air, and for a moment, the only sound is the faint ticking of a clock somewhere in the distance. Ms. Kim is ominous in her explanations, not delving any further into these ‘errands’. It's strange to you, why can’t her house stay stagnant for a month or two?

“There are a lot of rooms, Ms. Kim,” you comment, hoping she might open up and explain anything about this castle and why the fuck it is filled to the brim with porcelain dolls. It’s not exactly a young person’s hobby to collect these things - unless they’re haunted, then you know you need to take a sharp turn for the exit.

She smiles fondly, “Yes, each bedroom is designated to a precious doll of mine,” she offers as an explanation but fails to give any clarity.

“She is fucking crazy,” your friend whispers to you, her hand now gripping your arm as she walks slightly behind you, letting you take the lead in case of danger. 

As Ms. Kim gestures towards a room at the end of the corridor, she announces, "And this is your room. I've made sure I at least cleaned this before I left," punctuating her statement with a chuckle. With a flourish, she opens the door, revealing a space that dwarfs your flat and the corner shop it sits above.

But your confusion quickly turns to apprehension as Ms. Kim's words sink in. "Wait, what do you mean 'our room'?" you interject, trying to mask the rising unease in your voice. "Isn't this just a cleaning job?"

Ms. Kim's expression shifts, her eyes widening with a hint of anger as she leans back and places a hand on her chest. "Wasn't I clear in the ad that you would be housesitting?" she retorts, her tone laced with irritation. "I cannot leave my babies here on their own. They can't fend for themselves."

A chill runs down your spine as her words sink in.,"Babies?" you repeat, your mind reeling at the implications of her statement, "What do you mean by that?"

But before you can press for answers, Ms. Kim is already ushering you and Mia out of the guest bedroom and into another part of the mansion. As you step into the dining room, you're met with a sight that you can't quite put into words.

Four figures sit at the dining table, their faces with different expressions and their bodies unmoving. At first glance, they appear to be ordinary people, but then it hits you like a bolt of lightning - they're not real. They're dolls, human-like dolls arranged as if they were waiting for a meal that would never come.

A shiver runs down your spine as you exchange a horrified glance with Mia. The realisation sinks in like a stone in the pit of your stomach - this woman is not just eccentric, she's fucking unhinged. And as you stand in that surreal dining room, surrounded by figures that seem to stare back at you with empty eyes, you can't help but feel a creeping sense of dread settle over you like a suffocating fog.

Despite Mia’s step back, you move forward, looking at them in detail. They are exquisitely done, each of them with their own unique features and life-like skin. You knew dolls like this existed but not to this level of detail. They must be worth thousands of pounds, easily in the double digits.

“If you cannot stay then I will have to look for someone else,” she starts to dismiss you much to Mia’s relief; she is already mentally back in the car and screeching out. 

As Ms. Kim's words hang in the air, the weight of her ultimatum settling heavily on your shoulders, Mia visibly relaxes, relief evident in her demeanour. She's already mentally back in the car, ready to screech out of this bizarre situation.

But your attention is drawn to one particular doll seated at the dining table. His eyes, although lifeless, seem to pull you in with an inexplicable allure. He's striking, meticulously detailed with dark cherry-red hair, wide lips, and a figure that exudes an almost ethereal charm, even in his simple white t-shirt. His eyes, though small, are framed by long lashes that only add to his beauty.

Before you realise what you're doing, your mouth begins to speak, surprising both you and Mia. "I can stay, sure," you hear yourself say, the words tumbling out with a sense of inevitability.

"What?" Mia's incredulous voice snaps you back to reality, her eyes wide with disbelief as she pleads with you to reconsider, "You can't up and move your life for 2 months!" she warns in a hushed tone, her concern palpable.

“I don’t exactly have anything to go back to,” you shrug, knowing that all that awaits you back in the city is unopened bills and mouldy cheese. Mia has much more to lose, a job and boyfriend aren’t exactly something you can just upchuck.

"You go home, and I'll do it," you suggest, a plan forming in your mind as you speak, "You can visit on your days off and help me out. I'll make sure you get half the money."

Mia doesn't look entirely convinced, but the thought of such a large sum of money for minimal work seems to appeal to her pragmatic side, "Will you be okay?" she asks, genuine concern etched into her features.

You consider the question carefully, a strange sense of reassurance emanating from the dolls behind you, despite their unsettling presence, "I will be. If anything happens, I'll come straight home," you assure her, your voice steadier than you feel.

Reluctantly, Mia agrees, nodding her head as she steps to the side to speak with Ms. Kim and gather more information about the job. Left alone with the dolls, you can't help but steal one last glance at the cherry-red-haired figure that caught your eye earlier. But something is different this time - the smirk on his lips and the narrowed gaze in his eyes seem almost... knowing. 

Was he doing that before?

[lino-jagiyaa]

THE EXPERIENCE PROJECT | EP. 5 TWO AND TWO MAKES FIVE

— contains adult content, minors do not interact 🔞 —

“That’s so not true. I can be the dominant one too.”

Minho snickers, “I’d love to see you try.”

[ abstract ]: Hyunjin—your long time crush—finally wants to ask you out. One small issue: you’re absolutely inexperienced regarding that matter. Going on dates and, yes, also everything physical. Gladly, Minho—your long time enemy who is part of your friend group—is there to help, teaching you all you need to know. Going on dates and, yes, also everything physical. All while he dearly hopes you won’t find out about the crush he has had on you for years.

[ general ]: minho + fem reader, [ hyunjin + fem reader ], enemies → lovers, college au, smut + angst + fluff, experienced minho, virgin reader, sunshine x grumpy, he falls first but she falls harder, please refer to series m.list for more info

[ warning ]: explicit sexual scenes [ softdom minho, corruption kink, oral m receiving, semi public encounters ?? they are in a tent but alone ], very short mention of weed [ jisung ], mention of cheating

[ words ]: 6.3K

[ note ]: I sound like a broken record but thank you again for all the support. you guys are seriously the best. i haven’t been on here for that long but you are really the kindest and it means the world to me how much you enjoy this little story and how you come up with theories and all 🌸 I’m always grateful about every sweet comment, reblog, ask or DM!

Minho wakes up with a weird feeling inside his chest. Perhaps his heart is telling him that he’s playing dangerous games by what’s going on between you and him. He told you to keep your eyes on him when you come, despite the fact that he fully knows you’re in love with Hyunjin. You are, right? That’s why you have that odd agreement in the first place. There have been some moments that have made him a bit more delusional, that made him believe for a second there could be more between the two of you but he dropped those ideas rather quickly.

He should understand that you and him are never gonna be a couple.

But what if you aren’t into Hyunjin anymore? What if something about your feelings has shifted?

You definitely were only excited about his visit last night because you want to learn more. Minho is sure that has nothing to do with his presence. You probably still can’t stand him. Although he notices how comfortable, safe and calm you’ve been feeling around him these past days. He’s never had an effect on someone like this before. And he’s never seen you act like that. Not that he knows much about you but at least while being with your friend group, you’ve never behaved like this around Hyunjin.

Fuck. He should calm down. Or else he’s gonna break his heart into a million tiny pieces if that hasn’t happened so far.

Minho sinks down on his couch, pulling out his phone when he notices you texted him.

[ You ]: hey, is your sister still at your place? can i come over tonight? i have food hehe

Shit, he really wants to see you tonight. But Thursdays are rather inconvenient for that, unfortunately. And maybe his heart also needs a day off from all this drama. At least that’s how he tries to hype himself up about the fact that he won’t be seeing you today.

[ Minho ]: Hey, Y/N. Sorry, everything is okay with my sister’s apartment again but we have dance practice tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow for the camping trip, right?

He excitedly stares at his phone screen like a teenage boy, his eyes getting filled with sparkles when you reply.

[ You ]: yeah sure but we won’t be able to be together there. hyunjin is with us too. have fun at practice tho 😊

Fuck. Yeah. He’s totally forgot about that part. Hyunjin. God, why does he have to destroy this?

[ Minho ]: We will figure it out. Thank you. Have a nice Thursday too.

[ Minho ]: 🍇🖤

He’s sure, there’s gonna be some solution to this. Minho seeks to be close to you and he’ll do anything to make that happen. He does feel disgusted sometimes about himself. The fact that he’s secretly hoping for you to fall in love with him during this whole agreement but love turns us selfish.

He gets dragged out of his spiral of guilty conscience when you message him again.

[ Y/N 🍇  ]: 😆🍋🤍

You are assigning him this emoji now?

[ Minho ]: I’m a lemon??

[ Y/N 🍇 ]: yeah, kinda fits you best

[ Minho ]: In what world am I similar to a lemon??

He rolls his eyes when he reads your reply. Then a smile makes it up to his face. You’re so adorable, his heart is gonna melt and turn into a puddle with him.

[ Y/N 🍇  ]: you get sour quickly 🤭

Still, he plays cool.

[ Minho ]: 🙄🙄🙄

[ Minho ]: Whatever you believe in. See you tomorrow and remember to pack warm clothes. It’s gonna be cold at night. 

He’d lend you all the sweaters and jackets he owns but then again Hyunjin will be there. And Minho would rather see you in your clothes than in the ones from his friend. God. The fact that Hyunjin is his friend makes this whole situation just worse.

[ Y/N 🍇 ]: yes sir 🫡

His cock twitches inside his pants. God. It’s eleven in the morning and you’re flirting with him.

[ Minho ]: You’re playing with fire, princess.

He’s sure this warning will bring him nowhere, knowing you’ll just hop on it and provoke him more. When his phone receives another reply he knows his assumptions are right.

[ Y/N 🍇  ]: whoopsiiiee sorrryy, just trying to keep us warm in the cold 🤭 see you tomorrow min 🥰

Minho puts his phone away, still smiling brightly, before he feels someone plop down on the sofa right next to him. His sister is staring at her phone too, her eyes shining brighter than shooting stars, making him want to annoy her.

“Why are you giggling at your phone like this whenever you receive a message? You’ve got a boyfriend?” Minho asks.

She instantly rolls her eyes and puts the device away, “No, I don’t. It’s none of your business anyway.” His sibling turns around and looks at him. “Despite that, I saw you smiling earlier too when you looked at your screen.”

Minhos jaw clenches but he plays it cool. “What’s his name?”

“Tell me hers first unless it’s Areum then… Please keep that secret to yourself. You didn’t match at all,” his sister lets out with a sigh.

Minho is confused. He knows his family has never been Areum’s biggest fan but hearing it like this makes him wonder why exactly they’ve never quite liked her. “Why do you think so?”

She shrugs her shoulders, “I don’t know. She’s boring as fuck. I’ve always liked that other girl from your friend group more… What's her name again? Y/N?”

His heart stops. Why does she need to bring you into this?

“Yeah… Y/N. But that’s not gonna happen,” he quickly replies.

His sister tilts her head, “Why not? She’s funny, authentic and has a super pretty style.”

“You only wear black, you emo girl,” he teases her.

“And? I can appreciate when another woman obviously has good taste,” she explains.

“I don’t have a chance with her anyway. She’s dating Hyunjin,” he says, sounding a bit too hopeless.

His sister blinks twice. “Ugh. Why would she do that to herself?”

Minho has to hold back a laugh.

“What do you mean? He’s tall, handsome, creative. Spent last semester in Paris. He’s like a Disney prince,” he adds, knowing damn well he’s always comparing himself to these standards, knowing he’s never had a chance to begin with. Everyone seems to be in love with Hyunjin. Including you. The only woman he’s ever truly liked.

“A Disney prince that has dated the whole campus so far. Basically the reality TV version of a prince. Maybe he’s practising to apply for the next season of The Bachelor,” his sister reminds him.

“How do you know?”

“I went to the art exhibition with him yesterday—before you say anything, as friends, we have a bunch of classes together—and he was constantly on his phone texting different people.” She shakes her head, seeming quite annoyed. Until she notices that her brother’s mood has shifted. “Min? You okay?”

Minho knows that they’ve been friends for some time. After all, they’re majoring in the same field but his heart stings for different reasons. Hyunjin might just be playing with you, that son of a bitch. And he can’t allow that to happen, knowing you’re way to precious to get your heart broken by an asshole like this.

Okay, Lee Minho, calm down. This is still about your good friend. Hyunjin is your friend.

Yes, and? Isn’t he allowed to call his friends out if their behaviour isn’t acceptable?

He shakes his head, bringing his focus back to the conversation and switching topics a little, “Thanks for telling me. So… Who’s your crush?”

His sister smirks, one of her eyebrows rising up. “You’d love to know, don’t you?”

“I’ve told you mine too,” he emphasises.

“It was an easy guess, bro.”

“Come on, just a hint,” he says, nudging her shoulder.

“I’d love to tell you but it’s embarrassing…”

“Why? Is it Jisung?”

She nudges his shoulder. “Of course not. But the things is…I… I don’t know who he is,” she admits. “We’ve only been chatting online. I know, gamer girl cliché, and no, he isn’t paying for my Discord Nitro subscription.”

“You’re such a loser,” Minho teases his younger sibling.

“You too, you idiot,” she fights back, grabbing the nearest pillow that’s placed on the sofa and shoving it into her brother’s face but he doesn’t react anymore. He knows all her tricks.

“Anyway,” Minho says instead, getting up from the couch, “I’ve got a lot of classes today. Make sure to lock the apartment properly and if there’s still some issue at your place, call me, yeah?”

“I will. Thanks, Min,” she answers.

Friday comes quicker than you would have expected and once the sun is shining brightly—as if you’ve ordered great weather—you find yourself at the campus’ flea market of your university. Together with Hyunjin. On your second date. He hasn’t left your side for an hour now, telling you about all the things he’s seen and experienced during his stay in Paris while his hand desperately searches for yours. You let him, your fingers intertwined with his own a bit later and it makes you wonder if this could turn into something serious pretty soon.

Because—look at you—holding hands with none other than the one and only Hwang Hyunjin in public on campus isn’t something that’s seen quite often. He must be very excited and truly mean it. Hyunjin reciprocates your silly little feelings and you’re gonna be a couple in the future. Your long awaited dream is finally here. 

Your crush drags you around the corner, before you approach a little booth with shimmering and glittering items, the most beautiful necklaces, gemstones and rings blinding your vision. You take a closer look, instantly falling in love with the odd looking ones—the ones that you also find when diving too deep into stuff suggested to you on Etsy—giggling about earrings in the shape of fried eggs on toast or the ones that look like rubber ducks.

Then you find a necklace that perfectly matches the grape shaped earrings you wore the other day. Your eyes hover over the material but you’re unsure if you’re allowed to touch the item so you don’t. Hyunjin is standing next to you, observing your motions and chuckling a little when he notices how adorable you look. He’s always liked this about you—how your eyes turn into stars when you see something that amazes you.

“You’ve always liked these fruit inspired accessories and clothings, right?” he asks, giving you a soft smile. Hyunjin has one of his hands inside his jeans’ pocket, the other one is still entangled with your own. He leans over to you, catching a glimpse of your beauty. He can’t believe it took him so long to confess to you. Hyunjin knows it wasn’t the best timing back then and it haunts him up until this day that he basically broke your heart—and his own—the day before he left for Paris when he admitted to you that he’s falling in love with you.

But he also knows that this was his only chance. After all, Jisung accidentally spilled that Minho might have a crush on you too. And Hyunjin couldn’t travel to France for half a year, wondering if his friend would make a move on you instead. Which is ridiculous and toxic, absolutely toxic, he knows that. But love makes him selfish. Although there’s nothing to worry about. You don’t even like Minho, let alone love him. The idea of his friend and you together in a romantic light is the funniest joke of the century.

“Yeah, I guess one could say it’s kinda my thing,” you say with a small giggle, which brings Hyunjin’s thoughts back to where they should be right now. It was a shame that he couldn’t go to the art exhibition with you two days ago, but then again another friend—Minho’s sister—went there with him and he was actually hoping to get some more details from her about her brother’s possible crush on you. Which didn’t work because that woman is the carbon copy of Minho, avoiding emotions at any cost except for when they include sarcasm.

“It’s cute, it suits you, Y/N,” Hyunjin says, still watching you look at the necklace with the grape shaped pendant. He’s seen stuff like this back in Europe too. Yes, he’s also thought about buying something for you but if he’s honest—sure, those fruit inspired accessories are funny and cute but he’d love to see you in something more… mature, too. Hyunjin knows a lot about art and fashion after all. And just imagining you wearing a pretty diamond necklace, while lingerie in the same shade is hugging your curves makes ideas shoot up to his head—and blood rush down to his cock—during a very inappropriate situation. Get it together, Hyune.

He reaches for a necklace with a violet jewel attached to it, making quick eye contact with the salesperson, before he shows the accessory to you. You catch a glimpse of it, adoring its glittering features but something feels… boring about it. You can appreciate the simplicity and beauty of the object but it doesn’t catch you, if that makes sense.

“But how about this? I’ve seen this in Paris everywhere. They made me think that they’d look astonishing on you. Purple is truly your color,” Hyunjin says.

He’s right about that part though. You love all the colors of the rainbow but purple is one of your favorites. Just like the grape necklace.

“What is this?”

“An amethyst. A symbol of peace and pure love,” he explains, picking the item up again and holding it in an angle so that the sun shines right through it.

“It’s pretty,” you admit. Because it is. It really is. But some weird—yes, this sounds so exaggerated—type of feeling spreads through your stomach. Hyunjin clearly saw that you looked at the other necklace, why is he trying to show you this one now?

“It really is. You wanna try it on?” he asks.

It’s alright, Y/N. He knows more about this stuff like you. And if there’s some spiritual meaning behind it, this makes it quite romantic, right?

You smile, “Sure. Why not?”

Hyunjin gestures to you to turn around and you follow suit. You do a little spin, until he���s standing behind you and you get reminded of how tall he is. His big hands reach over your head, until he puts the accessory around your neck and closes it. Gently, he lets it fall down until it lands right between your collar bones and your thumb and index finger instantly reach for it. It feels so special, so pretty and you’re sure it look just as beautiful on you.

“Woah, it’s amazing, it’s like it was made for you, angel,” you hear Hyunjin from behind you. Suddenly, his hands are attached to your waist and he turns you around again. One of his hands finds your face, before it wanders further and tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I’d love to buy this one for you.”

Your mouth falls agape, “Oh, Hyunjin, you seriously don’t have to. It’s fine.”

You don’t want him to spend money on you out of the blue. Although your subconsciousness knows that there’s another reason lying deep inside your heart. But you don’t let it free.

“I’d love to,” he reassures you. “Wait a second, yeah?” You watch him walk to the salesperson before he pays for the necklace and gets back to you.

His fingers reach for your own again. Hyunjin and you walk a little further, until you get around a corner and behind another booth, where it’s less crowded. You feel his hands glued to your sides once more, as he pulls you towards him. His fingertips graze over the gemstone for a second and you dearly pray that he won’t notice how loud and fast your heart is beating, basically threatening to burst out of your chest.

He tilts his head, as you watch his tongue brush his upper teeth, before he speaks, “Now everyone will know who you belong to, hm?”

You’re desperately trying to not lose your mind.

Who you belong to.

Hwang Hyunjin told you that. Your longtime crush. This is insane.

“Thank you, Jinnie,” you say, barely audible but he still catches it.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad I’m back. I’ve missed you so much,” he confesses.

Your eyes are still fixated on his own, “I’ve missed you too.”

Hyunjin scoots a bit closer, his mouth wandering right beside your ear, so he’s able to softly whisper, “I’ve also missed kissing you.”

You shyly giggle, impulsiveness taking over you, “What are you waiting for, then?”

All he does is chuckle before he seals his lips with your own. God, those plump and oh so soft lips. How you’ve missed having them against your own. They feel so incredibly good moving with your own. The other two kisses that Hyunjin and you shared were rather innocent ones, more of a peck if you will, but thanks to you making out constantly these past days, you’re quite experienced when it comes to kissing.

Hyunjin also realises how much more confident you are compared to half a year ago and he loves it. You can tell when you feel him smile between kisses. He takes the invitation and slips his tongue into your mouth, fighting for dominance with your own.

Kissing Hyunjin is on a whole new level.

Magical is the best word to describe it.

However, the sparkle vanishes just as fast as it appears, leaving you… unsatisfied. You’ve kissed Hyunjin before. Twice. But something is different now, perhaps something inside your head, you’re not quite sure. It’s not just the fact that you are making out this time because you do feel comfortable with him, absolutely. He’s one of the people you trust most in this world and entering a heated kissing session with him feels nice.

But that’s it. It’s nothing more than that. You don’t want your brain or heart to go that way but there’s something missing. Something that you experience whenever Minho solely looks at you. But you scrunch your eyes, push the thoughts away and a few seconds later, Hyunjin is letting go of you again.

He gives you the sweetest smile, not at all realising that he isn’t the only man on your mind. Fuck. You’ve catapulted yourself right into the middle of the worst drama of this century. Great work, Y/N.

“This was great,” he says, biting his lips.

“Yeah,” is all you manage to let out. Do something about the awkwardness inside your own head. Now. Change topics. Although this will make it perhaps even more suspicious but you can’t function right now. “Do you have everything for the camping trip later?”

Hyunjin’s eyes widen, “Oh, I’m not coming, I’m sorry. Felix said he told you.”

No, he didn’t. For whatever reason. You don’t question it.

What you do question though is why Hyunjin can’t tell this yourself and what his reason is. You decide to ask about the latter.

“Why not?”

He scratches the back of his head, “Ah, you know, I’ve never been a fan of this whole camping and nature thing.”

But I love it. And I even wanted to go to that art exhibition with you although I don’t even know when Vincent Van Gogh was alive or what the difference between cyan and turquoise is. Because I like you.

You ignore the ongoing weird feeling inside your stomach. “I totally understand this, Hyune.”

He smiles, “Thank you. We meet on Saturday anyway, right? For my ‘welcome back’ party at my place?”

You nod, “Of course.”

The conversation shifts again to other topics after this. There are still so many thoughts in your mind. Why did Hyunjin buy you a different necklace from the one that you looked at? It’s not like the prices differed that much and despite that he doesn’t have to buy you anything at all. Why did he mention stuff about Paris but never bought a souvenir for you? With whom did he go to the art exhibition? Is he in fact dating other people at this time as well?

You decide to stop worrying before your head explodes and when you catch a glimpse at your phone half an hour later, the two of you realise that you should really get going if you still want to go on this camping trip tonight. Without Hyunjin though.

But with Minho.

Well, and Felix, Changbin—your roommate’s gym crush—Jisung and the mysterious girl he met online. Yes, she told him she would be there too.

Before you two part ways, Hyunjin takes off his leather jacket and puts it over your shoulders.

“Don’t get cold, yeah? You can take this one with you. It matches quite well with the necklace, angel,” he says with a wink.

Hyunjin gives you one last kiss on your cheek, before your bus arrives and you hop on it.

“What do you mean she called off at the last minute?”

You come back to a very confused Felix and a pretty sad looking Jisung sitting in the living room.

“What happened?” you ask, taking off your shoes and the jacket Hyunjin gave you. You take a few steps towards where your friends are sitting and drop down on the couch next to them

“The girl from the Discord server… she’s not coming with us,” Jisung explains, his head hanging low, shoulders too, while he is staring into the distance.

“Maybe she doesn’t actually exist,” you tease him.

He looks at you like a baby that got his plushie stolen, “Stop it, virgin.”

You give him a strict glare but Jisung knows you can’t be mad at him for long. Instantly, your annoyed face turns into a laugh.

“So, what now?” Felix asks.

“I’m not coming. I’ll stay here,” Jisung says, shaking his head, while his arms are crossed in front of his chest. He looks like a whiny toddler sitting there that got rejected choosing something from the candy aisle of the grocery store.

“You’re such a loser,” your best friend tells him.

Jisung sighs but tries to drown out a laughter. He gets up from the couch and takes the fluffy blanket with him. “A broken hearted loser. And if you excuse me, I need to play video games now, smoke some weed and cry like a real man like God intended.”

Right before he disappears inside Felix’s bedroom, you yell, “If you need anything you call us, yeah?”

“Yes, babes. I love you. Take care,” you hear him, knowing everything will be fine. He just needs to be alone for a bit and you respect that.

When you turn around, you notice your best friend looking at you. There’s a huge grin on his face. “Isn’t this great for you?”

You stare at him confused, “Seeing Jisung sad? What kind of a psychopath do you think I am?”

“Perhaps a pathological liar but not a psychopath, no,” Felix corrects his sentence. “But this isn’t what I meant. This makes the tent arrangement a little different. A win-win for the both of us, Y/N.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can share a tent with Changbin, and you with Minho,” he suggests.

Your mouth falls agape, “What?”

“Well, the other options are you and me in one but Changbin and Minho don’t know each other at all. Or you with Changbin which I bet is even weirder,” he reminds you.

Okay, this actually means Minho and you can continue where you left off. Given the circumstances that Changbin’s and Felix’s tent is far away from you and they are already asleep if you decide to get closer.

“Fine,” you huff. “Your gym crush won’t question it?”

“I doubt it,” Felix reassures you, shaking his head.

“Good.”

Camping has always been something you’ve enjoyed quite much. Luckily, your little group feels the same. You had some barbecue for dinner and talked a lot, finding out that Changbin is a really kind guy, making you cross your fingers that Felix and him will finally get together soon. In addition to that, you managed to place the tents a bit further away from one another. For privacy reasons and all.

Your best friend and his crush have gotten a little closer, being all cuddly and when Felix starts yawning with no end, they call it a night. Minho and you stay where you are, still sitting in the camping chairs next to one another, just enjoying the scenery above you. Stars over stars are filling your vision, giving you a way better view than you’d ever be able to experience in the busy city of Seoul although you didn’t even drive that far. It makes you want to stay here a little longer.

The night sky looks beautiful. It reminds you of the hoodie Minho gave you some days ago and the feeling of how soft the fabric felt against your skin. The silence spreads all over the fields, the only sounds are coming from cicadas echoing. But it’s nice. With Minho you don’t have to talk much. It’s nice to not speak at all too. In a good way.

“Uhm, Y/N,” he suddenly starts, instantly making you look at him. “I saw something the other day when my sister and I went to the flea market together.”

One of your eyebrows raises, “Yeah? What did you see? A squirrel?”

Minho rolls his eyes, you barely see it in the dim light of the night but still know for sure. “Jisung’s busy smoking and chatting with imaginary girls online, please. No. I meant something that reminded me of you.”

“Of me?”

Confusion is spread all over your face and Minho hopes you don’t notice how nervous he is.

“Yeah,” is all he says. He reaches for something inside his pocket, bringing out a small velvety bag in a pastel purple shade.

“I thought we were enemies and all,” you tease him, not even knowing anymore if this applies to you both. You could swear, one week ago you couldn’t be in a room with him alone for a minute because either one of you would start a fight and if the same situation occurred now, your first issue would be to withstand kissing him while your heart tries not to melt.

He scoffs. “I thought of you and bought it. Don’t put too much thought into it. It’s also okay if you don’t like it. It’s just… I think this one might still be missing in your collection. Of course—I don’t know. You have a shit ton of those funny accessories. But… you have earrings that are similar so I thought–“

You’re the one to roll their eyes now, “Spit it out, Min. What is it?”

“Here,” he gives you the small bag. “This. If you already have one like this or you don’t like it I can just–“

He gets interrupted when you open it and bring out a necklace.

Not just any necklace.

The one you looked at earlier. The one with the grape shaped pendant attached to it.

“You’re insane,” is all you let out, a bit too loud but you couldn’t care less. Your palm meets your mouth, covering it, while your eyes are widening and you let out a squeal.

“I don’t know what you mean by that,” Minho admits, unsure how to read your reaction.

You’re in shock. In a good type of shock. This is the best gift ever. “It means you’re amazing. I actually don’t have this one yet. Gosh. This is perfect. Thank you so much. I can’t believe this.”

Minho gets a little startled when he feels your arms getting thrown around his neck while you pull him into a tight hug. Tears are stinging in your eyes but he doesn’t notice because of the darkness that is surrounding you.

“Calm down, it’s just a necklace,” he says with an awkward chuckle.

You shake your head no, “A necklace with a grape shaped pendant. Fucking adorable. Seriously, thank you so much for thinking of me.”

Your eyes lock with his for another second, before you guide the accessory around your neck and secure it. What a shame you aren’t wearing the matching earrings today but this can wait for another time. You’re the happiest person on this planet right now.

“It’s nothing. I’m glad you like it,” Minho adds with a small voice but on the inside he thanks the universe for your reaction and the fact that he can spend time with you, just sitting here, listening to you talk about your interests and the world.

He’s always liked this about you—how your eyes turn into stars when you speak about a topic you like or do something that amazes you.

“So, what’s on today's schedule?”

You’re back inside your shared tent, after checking that Felix and Changbin have already fallen asleep in their own.

Minho frowns, “Schedule. Yeah. Well, I think you were a little too bold last time, hm? Teasing me like that just to fall right into submission the moment I tease you back?”

He’s going all in from the start. You’re in for a night.

“That’s so not true. I can be the dominant one too.”

Minho snickers, “I’d love to see you try. Despite that, you can be the one doing all the work and still be the submissive part.”

“Really?”

You weren’t aware of that. Well, you’ve never quite thought about it but the fact that Minho talks so openly about it and creates a safe space once again, makes you feel so comfortable and, of course, makes him even more attractive than he already is.

“Yeah. Dominance is about a certain dynamic, a role, if you will. Not what you physically do in bed,” he explains.

“Ah, okay. Well, then I’d like to be the… physically active part,” you confess.

He smirks, “I won’t say no to that. What do you have in mind?”

Take a deep breath. It’s gonna be okay. He’s here to help you, right?

“I liked… jerking you off… but I wanna learn more,” you admit with a small voice.

“More, hm? Why don’t you use your words like a big girl, huh?”

You roll your eyes and throw your head back. “Min…”

“Nah, we agreed that communication is key.” At least in bed. “So, tell me what you wanna do, yeah? It’s just me, remember?”

You nod, “Fine. I’d… Uhm, I’d like to suck you off.”

“Sure, baby.”

That’s how you find yourself kneeling in front of Minho a minute later. The tent is quite cramped, you can’t deny that. But you couldn’t care less. Not when he stares down at you like this, his piercing gaze hypnotising you. Your hands wander up his muscular thighs—making you think back to how amazing it felt riding them—going farther upwards until one of your palms lands on his crotch.

He’s already hard. You haven’t even done anything and Minho is already hard as rock. Why do you have such an effect on him? It doesn’t make any sense. You’re not exactly good at what you’re doing or at least you lack experience to scientifically evaluate this, right? Why is his body reacting to you so quickly then?

Because he’s in love with you, the subconscious part of your brain screams at you but you don’t hear it. You’re way too focused on something else anyway. Minho’s hand lands on your head, guiding you closer to his bulge and he chuckles.

“Come on, princess. Be a good girl and show me what you’ve got, hm?”

“Just start like last time, yeah? I’m sure I’ll like anything you do.” Why’s he flirting with you?

You nod, seizing your hand around his length, before you start pumping him. Minho hisses, throwing his head back from the little amount of motions you do. His grip tightens, when he tilts your head upwards, his gaze fixated on your face. You stare up at him with the eyes of a doll, while he feels himself grow even harder. You look so fucking adorable and he’s dying to be the one to ruin you, shape you just for his pleasure although you’re doing this for another guy and in the back of his mind he knows that quite well but pretending feels nice for a moment.

“I like it when…” he suddenly gets nervous. Minho knows exactly what he likes in bed. Although he hasn’t been with that many women. There was Areum and one high school girlfriend before his ex—yes, you’re the third girl he’s ever been in love with, believe it or not, and the second person he’s ever slept with. Yet, he calls himself a tutor, huh?

“Tell me what you like, baby,” you encourage him, being quite surprised about your sudden confidence.

“Start slowly. Just with some licks. I’ll guide you through it when I’m ready, yeah?” Minho has been ready for the past five or ten minutes now. Hell, even before you began this. But he can’t risk to come within seconds when it’s the first time you’re doing this.

However, you follow his advice and soon kitten licks erupt on his length, before you add a longer stripe to his shaft, making sure to keep eye contact. You’re gonna be the death of him, that Minho is sure of. He enters a state of pure trance then, watching you do what you seem to be naturally good at. Or it’s just his stupid heart and his stiffening cock speaking. It’s embarrassing what an effect you have on him. No one has ever achieved this. A simple look from you is enough to make him question everything he’s ever believed in. If someone told him two and two makes five, he wouldn’t even question it anymore at this point.

Minho catches himself, before he guides your mouth towards his tip.

“Whenever you’re r-ready, princess.”

It’s adorable how he’s stuttering and it gives you even more confidence, so you take the first few centimetres in. His length passes your lips before they wrap around it, letting him slide in deeper. Minho helps you with his hand showing you how to move, when you take him in and out, your head bobbing up and down. And when he watches you drooling all over him, obviously relishing the feeling of his dick inside your warm and wet hole, he takes the upper hand in this again.

You look perfect like this. Saliva is dripping down to the tent’s floor but none of you cares about it. You’re rolling your eyes to the back of your head, letting the sensation of being so close to Minho take over you.

“I’ve never expected you to enjoy sucking cock that much, baby,” Minho says, knowing damn well he won’t be able to hold back for that much longer.

“Is it… is it okay if I come inside your mouth?” he asks, not expecting anything from it. At this point, he would even thank you if you decided to edge him and deny him any orgasm for the rest of the night.

You hastily nod, encouraging him, while you continue with your movements. A little later, Minho allows the feeling to fully take over him, when he reaches that sweet sensation of pure ecstasy. His warm liquids shoot into your mouth and you make sure to swallow every single drop. You’re in trance too, watching Minho become absolutely powerless for you and you’ve never seen a more beautiful scenery like this, despite the fact that the night sky is right outside.

He suddenly comes to a halt and carefully slips his softening cock out of you, before he pulls his pants back up. Minho falls down to his knees, swiping away a few droplets of his come, before he places the sweetest kiss on the top of your head that earth has ever witnessed. 

It’s in the middle of the night when Minho suddenly wakes up, feeling you attached to his body.

You fell asleep together. Right. Just after your little encounter, he took care of you and tucked you into your sleeping bag. He must have dozed off right away too.

He checks his phone, watching the time read 01:43. Then, he sees a message from his sister from not that long ago. The protective older brother he is, he instantly panicks and opens the chat.

[ Sis 🙄 ]: I didn’t wanna tell you this Min but I unfortunately value you a bit too much although you’re the most annoying brother on this planet.

He immediately replies.

[ Minho ]: What is it? Are you alright?

And when he reads the message, he realises that his sister isn’t in trouble but someone else definitely is.

[ Sis 🙄 ]: Hyunjin asked me out on a date. Despite the fact that I am not interested in him AT ALL and have only ever seen him as a friend I think you should know. Or Y/N should know, to be precise. I’m sorry. 😕

His heart sinks and then crashes into a billion tiny pieces.

[ Minho ]: Thank you for telling me. 🫂 

He needs to talk to someone about it and find out how to tell you this nightmare of a story. Minho will protect you. Even if it means breaking the contract and telling Jisung about it tomorrow.

© leeknowsallyoursecrets 2024 — copying, stealing or translating my work is prohibited

[lino-jagiyaa]

THE EXPERIENCE PROJECT | EP. 4 ON ALL FOURS

— contains adult content, minors do not interact 🔞 —

“Don’t tease me,” he warns you, looking at you again. “You’re gonna regret this. Otherwise I’m gonna have to put you in your place until you shut that bratty mouth.”

[ abstract ]: Hyunjin—your long time crush—finally wants to ask you out. One small issue: you’re absolutely inexperienced regarding that matter. Going on dates and, yes, also everything physical. Gladly, Minho—your long time enemy who is part of your friend group—is there to help, teaching you all you need to know. Going on dates and, yes, also everything physical. All while he dearly hopes you won’t find out about the crush he has had on you for years.

[ general ]: minho + fem reader, [ hyunjin + fem reader ], enemies → lovers, college au, smut + angst + fluff, experienced minho, virgin reader, sunshine x grumpy, he falls first but she falls harder, please refer to series m.list for more info

[ warning ]: explicit sexual scenes [ softdom minho, corruption kink, fingering, oral f receiving, edging, slight brat reader and brat tamer minho, slight sir kink, reader gets called a slut but combined with lots of praise ], consumption of alcohol, jealousy, mention of cheating

[ words ]: 6.9K

[ note ]: thank you once again for the INSANE support. I hope you like this chapter. Make sure to reblog, comment or send an ask my way. I’d be very grateful for it. Lots of love to y’all 🌸

A comfortable feeling is hugging your skin, the fluffiest fabric attached to your upper body, it almost makes you fall back asleep. However, you lost count how many alarms have been echoing through your bedroom by now and something drags you to finally stand up. Your eyes shoot open, telling you it’s time to get ready for your first class—while you curse yourself for choosing courses at early hours knowing damn well you hate getting up before 10 or at all.

When your eyes peek down to the material that’s covering your form, you witness a colour you don’t see on you that often. You’re wearing a new sweater.

Minho’s sweater.

Midnight blue suits you more than you would have expected and you wish you could wear said clothing for the rest of the day until you realise you have to leave the house and go to campus. Right. You grab a fresh towel and a dress with a pastel purple pattern on it, search for your fitting grape earrings and make your way to the bathroom. The hot shower does wonders to your delusional brain that’s been drifting in all the directions of how last night ended. The way you were sitting in Minho’s lap, the beautiful whimpers that made it past his lips and right into your ears or how he looked at you with those big brown boba eyes, silently begging for more. You’ve totally underestimated yourself by a thousand levels. You’ve never imagined to have such an impact on a man, certainly not Minho of all.

And it plays evil games with both your mind and your heart. Sure, you’ve been physically attracted to Minho before all that. Who isn’t, right? However, only within seventy two hours, this has grown into an avalanche that you fear you won’t be able to stop if you don’t slow down a little and hit the brake paddle soon. You’re not even friends, although you feel comfortable around him the way you do when you’re with Felix or Jisung. Apart from the fact that they haven’t been knuckles deep inside your pussy and you haven’t granted them a mind-blowing orgasm just with your hand.

Okay. Slow down. The brake paddle. A splash of cold water—thanks to how old this building is, which ends in a sudden change of temperature whenever your neighbours must be taking a shower too—brings you back to reality. Until you think about the deeper meaning of all this. Sure, it’s one thing that Minho is helping you with your little physical issues. But then again—he gave you his sweater. He made dinner for you twice. He went to an ice rink with you because you mentioned it once.

And you’re nothing better. After forgetting to text him the other day, the first urge your silly little heart experiences is to buy food for the both of you, spontaneously visit him and spend time with him. You don’t understand why you haven’t gotten along with him these past three years. Well, he’s been constantly teasing you, of course, but why is he suddenly so entirely different whenever it’s just the two of you alone?

You’re still strong. You’ve got enough power left to not think further about the consequences of a mess you willingly created. You love Hyunjin. You’ve been in love with him for years. A few evenings spent with Minho won’t change that, right? It’s definitely just the sign, a little challenge, that’ll end in you realising even more that Hyunjin is the right one for you. Although it should in fact be a sign that you’re constantly thinking about your enemy and haven’t even wasted a second dreaming about the date yesterday that you had been waiting for for six months…

Pushing this inner monologue as if you are the main character in some Ancient Greek drama aside, you hop out of the shower, finding the mirror all foggy. One day when you finish college you’ll hopefully have enough money to afford an apartment with a bathroom that has a window. You slip into your underwear, socks and the colourful dress, before you put your hair in a comfortable style for a long day of college classes.

“Y/N, good morning. How’re you?”

You’re back in the hallway and already putting on your shoes when you fully register that Felix is talking to you. “Fine! In a bit of a rush but fine. You too?”

“Hmm, I wanted to ask something,” your roommate says, his lower lip caged between his teeth. He looks a bit nervous and your heartbeat instantly quickens. You dearly hope he hasn’t caught up on the thing going on between Minho and you.

“Better make it quick, Lixie,” you tell him, both because you are actually in a rush but also want to avoid any drama in the morning—or at all.

“It’s just… we can discuss this further later… but Jisung said something the other day when I played video games with him,” he starts.

You look at your best friend confused, “Jisung? What’s with him?”

“Well not with him but… he has noticed you not being here that often. Maybe you’re studying a lot since it’s your last year and all but… it almost seems like you sneak out and come back late at night,” he speaks with a low and quiet voice.

“Lixie… I…”

They’ve noticed. They’ve noticed the lies and all the secret things you’re doing behind their back with Minho. They’ve noticed that their friend has invited you over three days in a row. They’ve noticed that you have a contract that states Minho will teach you everything regarding kissing, touching and all that comes beyond that. They’ve noticed— 

“We were just wondering if you either are already back together with Hyunjin and didn’t tell us because we saw you coming back in a man’s sweater last night that probably belongs to him but then again you told Jisung you’d be going out with a friend to campus… so… perhaps you found other friends that are better than us?”

Your heart drops. Oh, God, this is seriously the last thing you wanted. This is awful. You haven’t even thought that far that your two friends would probably search for the reason for your odd behaviour by questioning if they’ve done anything wrong. So, you instantly pull Felix into a tight hug, as you reassure him it’s nothing like this.

“Baby, no… I haven’t. No one could ever replace you and I only need you. I’m so sorry, really. It’s just a lot going on but I swear I will always be honest with you, no secrets.” Lie number one. “And, yes, the sweater belongs to Hyunjin. I wore it because it got cold last night.” Lie number two.

You notice a huge weight dropping off your roommate’s shoulders and then a bright smile follows, his eyes turning into crescents, “I’m glad to hear that you’re finally getting together. I’ve always known he’s the one for you, Y/N.”

“I’ve gotta go now,” you end the conversation, blaming it on the fact you’re late yet again and not that you’re not sure anymore if what Felix says is true.

What would you know about truth? You’ve been lying to your closest friends for half a week now.

Felix is a bit startled but he doesn’t question it. “Sure, have a nice day.”

“I’m so happy to meet you,” Areum says, pulling you into a hug. Yes, you agreed on getting breakfast with her, both because you kind of don’t trust her, unsure what her true intentions are but you’re also very hungry after your 8AM class.

“I’m happy too, how are you?”

The two of you sit down at a table close to a window of this cute little café that you’ve been to so many times, after ordering at the front. “I’m great! I love your dress by the way. The colour really suits you and”—her mouth falls agape—“the earrings! They match perfectly, you’ve got such a lovely style.”

You seriously can’t read her. Still, you mumble a small ‘thank you’, hoping to not sound too awkward. There’s so much you want to ask her, most of the questions revolving around Minho, yes, but you don’t know her that well enough to do so. And something tells her she might feel the same, judging by how shy she suddenly gets when the conversation dies down.

“I know talking about exes isn’t the best thing,” she starts and you’re glad she’s doing so, especially with that topic, “but I’m truly sad that we’ve never gotten introduced to each other. I know Jisung and some of Minho’s friends from dance practice—Yeonjun and Hyunjin—but I’m more of a girl’s girl and rather hang out with women, especially when it’s about friendships, you know?”

Oh. That surprises you.

Two things, to be specific. Given the circumstances that Areum is speaking the truth, of course.

She calls herself a girl’s girl. Perhaps, to make you trust her or she’s actually being honest. You don’t know her enough to evaluate that but you hope it matches reality. This is something that’s truly important to you when it comes to—developing—friendships.

Second, she knows Hyunjin. Minho has introduced her to Hyunjin. Now you’re the one who wishes to have more female friends because this way you could have asked them for boys advice years ago. But instead you are left with a roommate that has a crush on his gym buddy, a nerd that only knows how to talk to women online and… well… your enemy that is indeed giving you tips but not in that way Areum or another girlfriend could.

Hopefully, she isn’t hiding behind a mask and you can perhaps ask her for advice soon. Because you damn sure will need it after the roller coaster this week has been. Of course, by leaving out the details that you’ve been messing around with her ex boyfriend.

“I get what you mean! I’m only ever hanging around with my male friends, I wish I had more female ones too. Some topics can be discussed easier with women than with… them.”

She chuckles, “You understand me. It might be a shame that Minho never told me about you”—you start to keep wondering why—“but destiny still brought us together, right?”

Talking to Areum feels strangely natural. As if you’ve known each other for years. You’re not the most similar, but your differences are what complements you.

“So, tell me, Y/N… are you someone that dates a lot?”

Oh, not the topic you hate the most. Perhaps, that’s why you only have a handful of friends and only ever stick to your chaotic group because they don’t talk about dating issues that often. For someone who lacks experience in that fiel big time, there’s nothing more annoying than getting asked the same questions over and over again.

“No, not really,” you admit.

Areum breathes out, “Thank God—I mean, you do you. But with other friendships I had in the past, especially when I was younger, they only ever talked about their dates and men problems.”

This can’t be. She completely understands you. Perhaps, Areum and you are something like platonic soulmates.

Okay, tone it down, Y/N, or do you want her to know that you’re a little bit of a weirdo who only hangs out with other weirdos?

“I relate so much…” you admit.

Areum gives you a soft smile, “Still, I unfortunately have a crush on someone right now but I’m sure it’s nothing serious. So nothing much to talk about.”

However, this catches your ears. Is she possibly not over Minho yet? This would be a disaster. It’s bad enough that you are becoming friends with a girl whose ex boyfriend is (almost) having sex with you, no strings attached. But you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself if Areum still had feelings for him.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, it’s someone I’ve known for a while but we met again last night at the semester opening party,” she says, gently biting her lower lip.

Oh, right. You totally forgot that there was this party on campus last night, way too busy stroking your enemy’s dick, huh?

But, wait—this kind of shrinks the possibilities. Maybe Minho went to said party after your evening spent together. He could have gone to campus after bringing you home but last time you checked he isn’t really someone who attends festivities like these. But maybe he ignored that and went there for Areum. A weird feeling spreads through your stomach at the thought of it but you push it aside. It could be possible, though, and perhaps your new friend isn’t comfortable enough yet to confess that she’s still in love with her ex which would explain her cryptic way of speaking.

“I’ve got a crush on someone too… for some time,” you confess now all of a sudden hoping it will establish some trust. “We went on a date but we will be taking no all this slowly, you know?”

“That’s lovely,” Areum says with a smile that looks genuine. “If you ever feel comfortable talking more about it or need some advice, you know where to find me.”

You’re still thinking about the conversation with Areum once afternoon strikes you. Wednesdays this year seem to be extraordinarily busy but that’s okay. It’s your last semester after all. You’re on your way to your last lecture of the day, when a detail from earlier hits you again.

What if Minho actually met Areum last night? What if they are becoming a thing again? You should be happy, right? Well, except for the fact that he’d be breaking the contract but you went on a date with Hyunjin too. Your head keeps confusing you, until you get on your way back home, still thinking about the possibility of Areum and Minho as a couple and what it does to your dumb little heart.

You’re soaking up your useless and irritating thoughts, until your phone screen brightens while you’re on the subway. Great. Hyunjin finally texted you back. You asked him if he wanted to go to one of the art exhibitions on campus tomorrow. Unlocking your device, you read the message.

[ Hyunjin ]: Hey, angel ❤️ I’m so sorry but a friend I haven’t seen in a while already asked me to go there together. How about we go to the flea market together on Friday? 

You send your crush a quick reply, wondering if there’s more behind this message than what he says. But you brush those ideas off, since you’re done with your brain messing with you. Not everyone wants to be the bad guy in your story and you should understand that. Everything’s alright. You’re gonna go home, make yourself some nice dinner and later go to Minho’s place for another study session.

After a quick shower, you change into a similar looking dress from what you wore for uni, before adjusting your makeup a little. You’re invited to Minho’ apartment once again, patiently waiting for another one of his lessons until you’re interrupted by your phone making a second, indicating you received a message. You pick up the device and read the text.

[ Minho ]: Hey, there’s one small issue about tonight. My little sis is still at my place. She was actually meeting up with some friends but they cancelled and there’s also a bunch of course work she has to get done so she’s staying here. Should we reschedule or do you have a different idea?

That’s a bummer. However, your roommates told you they’d be away tonight, as if you’ve got this all planned.

[ You ]: you can come to my place too. felix said he is leaving for the studio later with jisung. so it shouldn’t be an issue.

Problem solved. Minho sends you a quick reply back and a few minutes later, you’re ready for the night and make your way to the living room. You plop down on the sofa, watching some random show on Netflix, while you wait for your tutor to arrive. Half an hour passes and you receive another notification telling you he will be here soon.

Then the front door swings open. Wait. How did Minho manage to get here so quickly?

“It’s just us, Y/N,” you hear Felix’s voice, “Chan and Changbin postponed our meeting at the studio by like one or two hours.”

Fuck. You instantly grab your phone from your dress’s pockets and open the chat with Minho. Just when you’re about to send the text you hastily typed into the device, the bell rings. And faster than you’re able to react in any way, your best friend is already swinging the door open, revealing a very confused Minho.

“Min, what are you doing here?” Felix asks.

“I’m… Jisung forgot something at my place,” he lies, before his eyes find yours, as you desperately try to hide the panic swirling around in yours.

But, okay. He’s improvising and managing this situation quite well.

“Nothing new. Why don’t you come in? We wanted to order food,” your roommate offers. Jisung is still in the bathroom so he doesn’t notice that his best friend is here right now.

Minho nods, “Uhm, sure. You don’t have any plans tonight?” A subtle way of finding out why the hell your roommates are here when you told him that you’d be alone.

“Oh, we’re going to the studio later but Chan and Changbin need some more time so we still got an hour or so…” Felix explains, shrugging his shoulders, before he reaches for his phone and opens some delivery app.

“Cool,” Minho replies. “Yeah. I can just go back home when you leave, too.”

Suddenly, your roommate turns around to you, “Y/N? Is that okay for you?”

“S-Sure,” you stammer.

Twenty minutes later the food arrives and the whole group is sitting on the couch and chairs revolving around the little table in the middle. There’s some music playing in the background, coming from the TV. 

“Let’s play a drinking game, friends,” Jisung suddenly says, making you roll your eyes to the back of your head.

One of your eyebrows rises up, “Drinking game?”

“It’s our last year, isn’t it?”

Whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. But Jisung has always had the stupidest and most random ideas.

“Fine,” Felix says, getting up and bringing an empty bottle from the kitchen as well as some soju and a few shot glasses. “Let’s do some Truth Or Drink, hm?”

Jisung’s eyes get filled with stars, “Good idea!” He fills the little jars with the transparent liquid while you dearly pray the question you will be receiving won’t be as bad as you expect. Getting drunk isn’t quite what you anticipate right now but luckily, the food you ordered will work as a great base to stay relatively sober.

The first few rounds are pretty bearable. Some innocent questions about past crushes, the most embarrassing things you’ve done—although Jisung is clearly leading in this category—or some forbidden stuff you did when you were teenagers. Everything okay. Until your temporary roommate decides to change the route a little and the questions turn rather spicy. 

“How far have you gone with Changbin, Lix?” he asks, having a smirk all over his face.

Your best friend rolls his eyes, “You already know this. Not far. He’s touched me a few times during gym sessions to adjust my posture but that wasn’t anything sexual from his side. Although it was more than nice, I must admit. Have you seen that man’s arms?!”

Yeah. You’ve all seen. Felix mentions it at least once every two hours. Your best friend is already in a great party mood thanks to the fact he is playing this game in a truth and drink version but you don’t mind. Until it makes him become a bit more creative with his own questions too.

“How’s it going with your crush, Sungie?” he asks and the atmosphere in the room turns even funnier. It’s hilarious how these two rile each other up.

“Not that much going on, bro. We’re in the same hopeless situation. However, just a few minutes ago when I went to the kitchen and grabbed another soju bottle, she sent me a pic wearing only red lingerie,” Jisung says with a wink.

“But you still don’t know what she looks like and what her real name is.”

Jisung scoffs, “Yes, and? We’re taking things slow.” He knows that this is a lie and he’s just too shy to make the next move. The girl he’s been talking to online after playing video games with her for literal months seems to have a good effect on her—if your friend just wasn’t so socially awkward and slightly inexperienced to finally gather up enough courage to ask her out in the real world. But you definitely aren’t someone to judge that case.

The bottle gets spun again, sprinting around in circles until it comes to a halt and lands on you.

“Y/N…” Jisung starts with a wide grin, “you and Hyunjin, huh? How’s it going? Are the rumours true? That he’s unbelievably good in bed?”

You obviously don’t know and also don’t wanna know where the hell Jisung has that information from. But then again, little Miss Gossip Girl has his nose everywhere so it doesn’t surprise you. When you shift your gaze around in the room, you find Minho’s face as neutral as ever. Of course. You wonder if the day may come when he will show the tiniest sign of emotions but then you remember that you achieved exactly this last night. Even if said emotion was pure lust. But it still counts.

Your eyes wander further, finding your enemy’s hands gripping the blanket underneath him, as if he’s trying to control his anger. His jaw is clenched now and if you weren’t so focused on checking him out, you’d realise that Felix is noticing the silent conversation between his friend and you, too.

“Y/N?” Jisung asks again, bringing you back to the room.

“Ah, right. I can’t tell because we… we haven’t gone that far yet,” you confess.

A few more rounds follow, most of them being Jisung’s turn because bad luck is on his side tonight but he withstands any embarrassment and drinks from time to time. The one hour they talked about is almost over, until the bottle’s tip points at Minho.

Jisung smirks, his long awaited question already pricking on his tongue, “What’s your favourite position, Min?”

Your enemy chuckles, still entirely sober just like you. However, he’s hypnotised enough by your sole presence, that his gaze locks with your own, when he says, “I like when she’s on top… but I’d say my fave is when she’s on all fours, you know? This way I can thrust into her harder… pull her hair a little… spank her ass.”

The two other men instantly nod, relating in some way or another with what their friend said and you hope they haven’t caught up on the fact of how Minho’s eyes are fixated on yours. That bastard is teasing you again. He’s trying to get a reaction out of you, for whatever reason.

Jisung receives a message from Chan a second later and all three get up, taking care of the mess in the living room.

“We won’t be long, baby,” Felix says, pulling you into a tight hug as if you are an old couple. Minho looks at you confused, jealousy bubbling up in his chest once again although there is seriously no reason. Your best friend and you are like siblings and apart from that, he has a crush on his gym coach. Even though it seems a bit hopeless.

“Take care, yeah?”

A minute later, all three of them exit the apartment and you drop down on the sofa again, waiting for a sign from Minho. Until you hear a sound coming from your phone.

[ Minho ]: I’ll be back in 5 minutes.

Three hundred seconds later—sharp—he rings the doorbell and you let him in. He takes off his shoes and hands you a plastic bag. You take it and peak inside, finding two green cans.

“Grape juice?” you ask.

Minho nods, following you to your room, “Yeah. I thought it suits your earrings, and something non-alcoholic after that weird round of this game is a good idea.”

You ignore the fact that neither Minho nor you were even taking a single sip from the soju earlier, but you try your best to hide the ridiculous smile that’s trying to make it up to your face.

Minho steps inside, having a good overview of the four walls you spend your most time surrounded by. It’s a lot more colourful than his apartment but he thinks it matches you. Flowers over flowers and posters and stickers on the wall, the glittery tapestry shimmering because of the dim LED–lights makes this so cosy, he wants to move in right away.

“I’m glad we could still plan things tonight,” you say, sitting down on your bed and telling him to join you. Minho opens the cans for you, before he hands you one of the grape juices. You take a sip, the sugar instantly filling your whole mouth before you place the metallic object aside.

“Me too.” Because I love spending time with you and tonight just showed me I want you all to myself. “Glad that worked out.”

The conversation dies down at this point, the two of you are just sitting next to one another, before the thoughts are hitting you again. Not just any thoughts and certainly not those confusing ones from earlier but you keep thinking back to what Minho said about his favourite position and what it did to you—or well, to your pussy, to be honest.

And by now you’re convinced he’s a mind reader. He must be. Otherwise, he wouldn’t chuckle, when he asks, “What’s going on in that little distracted head of yours, hm? Hyunjin?”

Why should Hyunjin be on your mind right now? “N-No. Not Hyunjin.”

“That’s good,” Minho says, the tip of his tongue gliding over his upper teeth, “because I should be the only thought inside your head when you’re with me.”

You gulp. Where the hell is this going?

“Because you need to focus, you know,” he quickly adds, covering his own nervousness.

“Is that so?” you ask, cocking your head.

“Hmm, you’re the best student I’ve ever had.”

You giggle, “What? Are you doing this as a side business, hm?”

He ignores your teasing. “Spit it out, Y/N. What’re you thinkin’ about?”

You don’t wanna say it. But you want him to know, if that makes any kind of sense. You’re a bit embarrassed about it, that’s why. When Minho talked about some of the stuff he’s fantasising about or has done with other women in his life so far—making you wonder if some described scenes were about Areum—there wasn’t only a bit of jealousy running through your veins. The most prominent feeling was arousal.

You get that he’s so gentle with you given the fact that he wants you to experience all these steps in a much softer way and you wouldn’t miss it for the world. But the idea of Minho just grabbing you, manhandling you and throwing you around to his liking, using you for his own pleasure while he guides you to another one of those mind-blowing orgasms, might make you forget your own name if you think about it for too long.

So, you gather up all the courage you have and speak. “I… The things you said earlier during the game… about your favourite positions and being rough… I-I kinda…”

He smirks, “You want me to go rougher, baby? Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

Minho closes much of the distance between you, crawling towards you, before he’s almost hovering above you.

“I… I liked how you talked about those fantasies…” you confess.

His hand finds your face, grabbing your jaw, “Hm, you did?”

You nod. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything, Y/N,” he says with the softest voice.

“Have you… have you ever imagined having me in a position… l-like you described?”

You don’t even know where your confidence is coming from but Minho seems to like it.

He chuckles, “Oh, you’d love to know, huh? I have, yeah. I’m not gonna lie to you. But I’ve gotta promise that this still has to wait, yeah?”

“Why?”

“Well, only good girls deserve to get what they ask for and you’re not there yet,” he adds, his tone dropping lower, while his thumb starts caressing your cheek.

You gulp, “I’m… not? I’m a good girl for you, Min.”

He closes his eyes so that you’re not able to see how they roll to the back of his head. Minho can feel his cock twitch inside his pants, growing uncomfortably harder.

“Don’t tease me,” he warns you, looking at you again. “You’re gonna regret this. Otherwise I’m gonna have to put you in your place until you shut that bratty mouth.”

You click your tongue, “You make it sound like a threat…”

And that’s all he needs to make him want to tame the brat that you’re pretending to be just for him. Minho’s lips collide with your skin, roaming over your jawline, neck and wandering even further. He’s fast to sneak his hands under your dress, finding you without tights this time given the warmer weather and the fact you’re at home. In your room. On top of your bed. Minho has desperately tried to not bring you to his own bed these past three nights, knowing damn well his heart wouldn’t survive the smell of you that would still linger on his sheets long after you’re gone, just reminding him that nothing the two of you are doing is even remotely close to being real.

So, he’s been avoiding it. But of course, this strategy doesn’t work when you’re at your place and you’re sharing your apartment with two other guys, one of them temporarily crashing on your couch in the living room. Minho tries his best to push those thoughts aside, his fingers traveling right between your legs which you obediently part for him to give him better access to your very much drenched underwear.

He chuckles, before he pulls the fabric aside. His eyes find your own and when you give him a quick nod, his fingertips slide under the material, finding your clit without hesitation.

“Feels good, Min,” you confess, letting him play with you.

“She can be a good girl after all, hm? So much easier than teasing me, isn’t it?”

You hastily nod again, letting out a moan in agreement. Still, this isn’t enough for him. You won’t get away with it this quickly.

“Then go on, baby. On all fours for me, yeah?”

You gulp but follow suit. You’re a bit confused where this is leading to but you trust him.

“Don’t worry, yeah?” he adds, when he sees the slight worry in your eyes. “One step at a time. I want to touch and taste you, if that’s alright with you.”

You answer by arching your back a bit, leaning forward as your skirt rides up and exposes your soaked underwear. Minho hisses, his tongue wetting his lips before he makes quick work and slides down the ruined fabric. Your pussy looks pretty like this—you look absolutely adorable like this, even better than in all those fantasies he’s had about you, when he touched himself to the thought of you being in a position like this for him only. And now he’s got you right where he wants you.

You spread your legs further, before you feel sweet little kisses erupt on your lower back, before they wander over your ass. Minho’s hand lands between your thighs again, his fingers circling around your glistening entrance. He’s teasing you, just like you did earlier with your words.

“Min, please, n-need them inside of me,” you whine but he’s kind enough to grant you that wish. He pushes one of the digits inside, just like two days ago, thrusting it in and out of you. Your walls immediately start clenching around him, before you tell him to add another one. You’re extraordinarily demanding tonight but he’d do anything for his princess, after all. Yes, correctly. You belong to him. You just don’t know it yet. Although your subconsciousness has already caught up on it by now.

Minho’s fingers are spreading you open and soon two turn into three, as a squelching sound is echoing through the room. It feels so good, you’re already on the verge of tasting the stars in front of your eyes.

Until Minho pulls out of you.

“Why… what?” is all your foggy brain is able to let out, rational thoughts already shut off by now.

“I need a bit more proof of you being a good girl for me, darling,” he says, grabbing you by the hips. “On your back for me. Relax, baby. I’m gonna go easy on you for now.” Minho turns you around as if you weigh nothing, until you land in the position he wants you in.

His hands reach to your inner thighs, before he parts them and those gentle kisses appear on your skin right there. He travels further, dangerously close to your wetness, until his gaze locks with your own once more. “Look at me when you come, you understand?”

You nod, “Yes.”

Minho chuckles, “Yes, what?”

“Y-Yes… sir.”

He dives right in, two of his fingers spreading your pussy lips apart before his tongue collides with your clit. “I’ve always known you’re a quick learner, Y/N.” You arch your back once more, when he starts making out with your sensitive nub, while his fingers are back at your entrance and he slides them inside. He’s scissoring you open by now, his tongue never leaving your clit as if they’re magically connected.

He hums against you heat, “Come on, make that sound again.”

Oh, and you do. Moans, whimpers and groans are filling the room, soon becoming Minho’s favourite melody, that he wants tattooed to his brain so he can play it over and over again like a broken record.

“So good for me, hm? Such a good slut only for me, keep going,” he encourages you, knowing you won’t be able to hold back any longer. His cock twitches inside his pants, when he feels you being the one to grab his hair now, guiding his face the way you seem to enjoy and Minho won’t be complaining. He lets you take the lead a bit, until his fingers change their angle and he’s grazing over that velvety spot inside of you.

A few more thrusts, a few more licks and your high follows. Your eyes stay fixated on his own during the entire time, when you fall apart, legs shaking, creaming all over his face, when that hypnotising feeling takes over you and rushes through your body.

Everything that happens after this is a total blur. Minho takes care of you and cleans you, before he helps you into your pyjamas and puts you into bed. You feel a sweet kiss linger on your forehead before you doze off to sleep.

It’s already the next morning, when you will be reading his message.

[ Minho ]: I’m home. Sweet dreams, Y/N 🖤🍇

Thursday is a lot kinder to you, giving you the opportunity to sleep a little longer since you only have one lecture in the afternoon. You grab a fresh outfit and your towel, as you head to the bathroom wearing your slippers that look like frogs.

Felix is standing in your vision, giving you a soft smile and the look of his disheveled hair tells you he’s as tired as you are.

“Good morning, Y/N, I just wanted to let you know that I washed Hyunjin’s sweater,” he informs you, handing you the fabric.

You hesitantly reach for it, as you ask, “Morning… Hyunjin’s sweater?”

“The dark blue one,” your roommate says, pointing at it with his index finger. Right. You lied and told him you received this piece of clothing from your crush.

“O-Oh, right, yeah. The midnight blue one, yes,” you reply, awkwardly nodding and smiling. You take a few steps forward, making your way to the bathroom until Felix speaks again and you let the pile of clothes drop down to the floor.

“You can stop lying now, by the way.”

“W-What?”

“I really thought we were friends, you know,” Felix says, his jaw clenched. You turn around and look at him, finding his arms crossed in front of his chest and despite the distance of two meters between you, you can clearly observe the hurt in his eyes.

“Lix, I can’t follow,” you stammer out.

He scoffs, “I am sure you can. Why the fuck are you wearing Minho’s sweater? Why did I see his shoes in the hallway last night and hear someone leaving the apartment later? Have you been sneaking out to meet him? Is this why he got so jealous last night when we were playing the drinking game?”

“I… I don’t know what you mean,” you answer.

“Oh, you sure know,” your best friend adds, taking a few steps towards you. “I didn’t expect this from you, seriously, cheating on Hyunjin like this…”

“Lix—wait, I can explain, it’s seriously not what it looks like,” you interrupt him, sounding like the biggest cliché ever.

“Then tell me, I’m all ears,” he says.

“Okay, first of all, Hyunjin and I aren’t a couple. He asked me to take things slowly because he’s in a lot of stress and with it being the last semester and shit… you know how he is when he’s dating. He… he’s never dated just one girl at a time, right?”

“Oh, so you drop low to his level?”

“I am not. Because there’s nothing between Minho and me except some physical stuff… he… he gives me practical advice regarding, you know, sex,” you cringe when you explain what’s been going on these past days, feeling embarrassed about yourself. Although you don’t regret it. Not when Minho is so gentle yet passionate with you, granting you the best time of your life.

“Is he your tutor or something?”

You shrug your shoulders, “Yeah, something like that. We… we haven’t slept together but did a bunch of other stuff because I am super inexperienced and insecure that Hyunjin might be… disappointed once we get closer and–“

“I can’t believe he took advantage of you like that,” Felix cuts you off, “I’m gonna find Minho and talk to him–“

“What?”

“Yeah, sleeping with a girl who’s insecure.” Thank you Felix, how about you dig the knife into the wound a little deeper, hm? “I can’t believe this. How could he do this to you and take advantage of your fragile state like this?”

Oh, God, your roommate has understood this all wrong. This is a disaster.

“It’s not… no. He offered it but I came to him and asked him. It was my decision, Lix. He didn’t do anything wrong, seriously. And I am happy with what we have and what we do,” you confess, immediately regretting your choice of words for that last sentence.

And then there’s a smirk on Felix’s lips as well as some imaginary lightbulb that’s appearing over his head.

“Because you are falling in love with him,” he says, clicking his tongue.

You scoff, “I am not. I only like Hyunjin and you know that.” You can’t believe he would actually think that. You hate when Felix teases you like this.

“What does Hyunjin say about it then?”

“He obviously doesn’t know,” you admit.

“Great.”

You tilt your head, “Oh, so you wanna tell me that his last girlfriend knew that he was dating other women while they weren’t official yet?”

“No offense at my friends but you kinda have a weird taste in men now that I think about it,” Felix adds with a smile. The atmosphere suddenly becomes less tense when you see him chuckle and you join with your own laughter. You’re kind of glad how he reacted, how he was ready to defend you. Your roommate truly is the best friend you could ever have.

Still, this doesn’t give him the right to suspect you having a crush on his other friend too.

“Thank you. I know. But I don’t like Minho. Not at all,” you insist.

“Keep believing that,” Felix adds, giving you a wink.

You roll your eyes. Then you reach for the lump of clothes that fell to the ground and pick them up, right before you are ready to disappear inside the bathroom.

“Y/N?”

You turn around one more time, looking at your roommate although you’d really like to shower first and then continue with the conversation once you’re a little more awake. “What is it?”

“No matter what I think about all this, your secret is safe with me, okay?”

You smile at him. “Thank you.”

“Although next time I’d be very grateful if you told me about it,” he confesses.

“I’m sorry, Lix. I was embarrassed and all,” you explain.

“I understand. But I love you, yeah?”

You get inside the bathroom and before closing the door you reply, “I love you too.”

© leeknowsallyoursecrets 2024 — copying, stealing or translating my work is prohibited

[lino-jagiyaa]

felix — asea the best group award, 2024

[lino-jagiyaa]

THE EXPERIENCE PROJECT | EP. 3 THIRD TIME’S A CHARM

— contains adult content, minors do not interact 🔞 —

“So, what does this mean for our contract?”

“It keeps going,” you answer.

He clicks his tongue, “You’re a fast learner, princess.”

[ abstract ]: Hyunjin—your long time crush—finally wants to ask you out. One small issue: you’re absolutely inexperienced regarding that matter. Going on dates and, yes, also everything physical. Gladly, Minho—your long time enemy who is part of your friend group—is there to help, teaching you all you need to know. Going on dates and, yes, also everything physical. All while he dearly hopes you won’t find out about the crush he has had on you for years.

[ general ]: minho + fem reader, [ hyunjin + fem reader ], enemies → lovers, college au, smut + angst + fluff, experienced minho, virgin reader, sunshine x grumpy, he falls first but she falls harder, please refer to series m.list for more info

[ warning ]: explicit sexual scene [ softdom minho, corruption kink, handjob ], jealousy and slight hints of cheating [ depends on how you view it ]

[ words ]: 6.8K

[ note ]: thank you so much again for the endless support. I still can’t believe it but you guys are seriously the best. It means the world that you like my silly little series so far! Please share your thoughts with me at the end of the chapter by reblogging, commenting or sending an ask/DM! 🩷

The sunbeams hit your skin, waking you up from a night full of beautiful dreams once again. Right. Hyunjin is back. Finally. And you can’t grasp that the first thing he did when he saw you yesterday was to immediately ask you out on a date. It seems as if he’s been waiting for this moment for six months too. You can’t believe it. After all, it feels as if he’s absolutely serious about you, right?

All your wishes will finally come true. You’re gonna be the one on Hyunjin’s side, hopefully his official girlfriend pretty soon. It’s all you’ve ever wanted.

So, why do you feel hesitant about it?

A weird feeling is running through your stomach, almost as if you have second guesses about this whole thing. But when you take a shower to get ready for the day, you decide to just blame it on nervousness. It’s been six months since you’ve been waiting for this moment—or if you’re a bit more honest way longer than that—so it’s normal to feel like this, right? At the back of your head there’s another thought tickling you, begging to be let free but you don’t allow it. You are more than sure your confusion is absolutely caused by the seriousness of the situation and not the fact that you came around your enemy’s fingers last evening. For sure.

After you put yourself into fresh clothes and do your hair, you swing your bag over your shoulder and a last glance at the time tells you you are definitely running pretty late again. Fuck. Of course, yesterday you arrived at campus a little earlier but you have already guessed that this enthusiastic energy would only last for one whole day until it vanishes into ashes. You rush to campus, squeezing yourself into the next overcrowded subway vehicle until you reach your station and run to the building where your first lecture is.

You throw your bag on the floor, before you grab your iPad and a half empty water bottle. The professor has already started with his lecture and you’re still here, trying to rearrange your thoughts and calm down your breathing from sprinting to the hall. When you unlock the device in front of you, your heart almost stops beating. Why is that stupid file with the contract of Minho and you still opened? You immediately close it and switch to the one in which you take notes for your classes, not really having a system here so far but you will figure it out.

“Can I sit here?”

Your head snaps towards the source of the voice, finding a woman dressed in an elegant spring dress combined with stilettos and a butterfly claw holding her shiny smooth hair together.

“Yeah! Sure, Areum. Sit down,” you tell her and scoot a little although the space next to you is still completely empty.

“I feel so bad about being late today,” she confesses while placing her study material on the small table in front of her. Everything matches, every item she owns has the same beige shade with golden accents. She starts writing down what the professor is currently talking about, paying full attention to his words.

“Don’t worry about that,” you reassure her, “I wasn’t here on time either. To be honest, I am mostly late to all my appointments.”

She gives you a small smile, “Yeah. I get you. I wanna be here on time like a good student to all my classes, but then again there was so much going on at the animal shelter I helped out this morning that I wasn’t able to leave to arrive here on time.”

Animal shelter? You’re getting more and more convinced that Areum is secretly a Disney princess. You also wonder if this is where Minho and her met each other. After all, you know that he sometimes helps out at one of the shelters in the city too.

Time passes by and soon the lecture ends. You throw all your stuff back into your bag, before Areum and you stand up and leave your aisle. You can’t get over the fact how kind she is. During the whole lecture, she explained things to you which you didn’t understand and even offered to send you her notes. This can’t have something to do with Minho, right? She hasn’t known you up until yesterday and you highly doubt that Minho has ever mentioned more than just your name and perhaps some mean details.

You’re on your way to your next class, remembering you still have to look for a book in the library which makes you enter a state of hurry now.

“Y/N, what I wanted to ask–“

“I’m so sorry but I’m in a rush Areum. Can it perhaps wait?”

She sends you another one of those soft smiles that reaches her big round eyes, “Yes! Of course, I’ll see you in class tomorrow, right? Maybe we can exchange phone numbers? So, I can send you my notes from today’s lecture.”

You hastily nod, reaching for your phone and opening your contact before you tap on the little ‘+’ symbol and it creates a new contact. Areum reaches for the device, her soft hands grazing over your own for less than half a second and she quickly types in her information.

“I sent you a text, so you have my number too,” you let her know and a bit later you say goodbye and cross paths.

You rush to the library, searching for the book you need for the next lesson. Once you arrive at the aisle where it’s supposed to be, you realise the spot is empty. Your hands start hovering over the other books you find there, reading the titles and signatures but finding nothing that might come close.

“Searching for something?”

You turn around, seeing Minho with that exact book inside his hand and you don’t even question why the hell he’s holding it in the first place.

“Hey. Yes, I need this one for my class,” you explain. You take a step forward and reach for the admired object, your fingers getting close to the paper until he pulls away and a mischievous smile finds his face.

“You didn’t text me,” he says with a strict voice, his face immediately turning expressionless again as ever. If he’s angry at you he’s doing a great job at hiding and covering it with his obligatory neutrality.

Your breath hitches when you realise what he’s talking about. You were supposed to tell him that you made it back home safely. Fuck. You’ve always been rather forgetful but this is something you should keep in mind. You wonder now if Minho got worried at the lack of response from your side and for some reason it lets butterflies erupt in your stomach. Get it together. Every half-decent man would be worried if they had to send a woman home at night. This shouldn’t be considered something special.

“You probably forgot because Hyunjin came back last night, hm?” Minho asks, tilting his head.

What? How is he even aware of your crush’s early arrival?

“How do you know?”

He shrugs his shoulders, “Felix. He told me.”

Okay, yeah. That makes sense. Still, you suddenly feel so awful about all this. You hate breaking promises. Even if it’s an accident like forgetting to text him. “I’m sorry. He… he spontaneously visited us. Just for a couple of minutes though. I went right to bed. Was tired and all.”

You don’t even know why you’re rambling and justifying yourself. It’s not like you’re a couple. You’re not even friends, after all. There’s nothing to feel bad about, especially not toward Minho. But why do you feel this way then?

“Whatever. It’s fine,” Minho adds, before he hands you the book and leaves.

“You look beautiful,” Hyunjin greets you with a warm hug, pulling you closer and you hope he can’t feel how your heart is beating out of your chest. You let go of him again, giving your crush a soft smile and he leads the way inside the café.

“I’ve wanted to go here for ages,” you confess, while you two step inside. Hyunjin has his hand gently placed on the small of your back as he guides you into the ancient looking building. It’s astonishing here, flowery details filling the huge room up to the ceiling, as the scents of coffee and strawberries enter your nostrils. 

“I heard it opened not that long ago, didn’t it?” You nod, “Yeah. A couple of weeks, I think. But I’ve always been passing by and have seen people post about it on Instagram you know?”

Hyunjin smiles and searches for an employee. The waitress tells him to choose whatever free table you would like and the both of you opt for seats right at the huge rose tinted window. The gentleman he is, your friend pulls your chair back and helps you sit down before he takes his own seat. You start looking through the menu, soon finding something appealing and Hyunjin walks to the front to order.

“Oh—you already paid, wait let me give you–“

“It’s fine, angel,” he says, shushing your hands away from your bag, “I invited you, remember? Let me treat you a little, okay?”

If your week goes on like this you won’t have to spend money on food anymore when men keep paying for you. Not that you mind.

“Thank you.”

He gives you a soft smile. “Now, tell me. What have I missed not being here for six months?”

The waitress brings your order next but this doesn’t hold you back from entering a cycle of rambling. “Oh! Jisung is texting this girl he met online while playing video games. He’s head over heels for her but doesn’t even know her real name or what she looks like.” Hyunjin laughs. It’s not gossiping, after all, that’s all your friend has been talking about these past weeks. And in comparison to Jisung’s dislike for your crush, the hatred isn’t reciprocated. “It’s hilarious and cute in some way although it feels kinda weird to imagine Jisung in a light like that.”

“I get it,” Hyunjin says, “still somehow adorable. Hopefully it works out. And anything new in your life?”

You're unsure if he’s hinting at your love life or just what has happened in general. So, you take the safe route. “Ah, you know. Not much is going on. I had my internship at the end of last year. Was kinda exhausting and taught me what I don’t want to do.”

“Oh, that sucks. I’m sorry, Y/N,” he reassures you and suddenly his hand gets closer. He places the palm on top of yours, softly stroking your skin. God, why is his hand so much bigger than your own?

“Nah, it’s alright. Don’t worry about it. So—you’ve gotta tell me everything about Paris now. I’ve always wanted to go there.”

“It was beautiful. Really. Very busy and all but the architecture of the whole city… Amazing. Also pretentious to some extent but it didn’t surprise me. And dirty and smelly but it’s a big city after all, right? Definitely not like in all those romance movies but still absolutely gorgeous. I enjoyed my time there,” he says. You’ve always thought that Hyunjin fits right there, as if he belongs to Paris and you can’t quite explain why. This is also the reason why you felt like you were in no position to hold him back despite your aching heart. This was a one chance of a lifetime, after all.

“I’m super glad to hear that, Hyune. Seriously. Every picture you posted online or sent to the group chat or me let a smile appear on my face. I’m truly happy you had this opportunity and had such a great time over there!”

His eyes turn into crescents when he smiles, as he gives your hands a soft squeeze with his big one.

“You like the food, Y/N?”

You nod, taking another bite of your cheesecake, “Oh, yes. Absolutely. Such a good idea to go here!”

You watch him put some of his pie on his fork, before he guides the cutlery towards you. “Wanna try?”

A little startled about the fact that he—as it seems—wants to feed you some of his food, you nod and have a taste of the blueberry pie he offers. And it tastes just as amazing as the dish you chose. You put a bit of your strawberry cheesecake on top of your fork and guide it toward Hyunjin, before his plump lips wrap around it and take a bite. He hums a little melody, enjoying the taste of the cake, all while you try to not lose your mind about the fact that you are feeding Hyunjin in public.

“It was a good idea to go here,” he says, his voice dropping lower and a bit more quiet. He’s reaching out for your hand once more, not letting you go as if he is afraid to lose you again despite the fact that he was the one who went to another continent half a year ago. A weird sensation starts spreading through your belly and you are hit with the one question that has been harassing your mind for six weeks.

Why did he decide to confess to you twelve hours before his flight’s departure when he knew you weren’t going to see each other for so long? Of course, Jisung called him toxic without batting an eye. Your crush might like your friend whereas the younger one has always classified Hyunjin as a ‘walking red flag’. In some way he’s right but you don’t want to believe that. You decide to blame it on Hyunjin being a hopeless romantic and just wanting to get this confession off his chest before going on a flight. You never know what could happen in six months while being so far away. Better this way than being plagued by regrets, right?

“Thank you for the invitation again, Hyune,” you add, as your fingers start getting intertwined with his large ones.

“Don’t thank me for that. Actually… I wanted to talk about something,” he says and you watch his lower lip get caught between his teeth. He suddenly looks nervous and for some reason that feeling reaches you too.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, angel,” he lets out. His gaze is fixated on where your hands meet, as he squeezes yours another time, softly caressing your skin in order to gain some confidence. God. It’s gonna be alright. You’re gonna understand.

“What is it?”

But the truth is—your heart is bursting out of your chest once again. It leaves you anxious, the way he’s opened this conversation, you can’t deny that. 

“I am sure you remember our last talk in person. Right before my flight and all.” Oh, no. Don’t open that box again. “Im sorry about the timing, truly sorry. I know this was kinda shitty of me to just drop that information and disappear for six months.”

You give him a smile, “You didn’t disappear, Hyune. We talked on the phone and all during your time in Paris.”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t be close to you. Geographically speaking and all. It’s just not the same,” he explains, shaking his head. You take a deep breath in the meantime, just wanting him to spit it out—whatever is on his mind. “What do you wanna say?”

“Well, first of all. I want you to know that I did this because I thought I was running out of time. I’m also quite superstitious. So if something had happened on that flight or in Paris–“

“Nothing happened, Hyune,” you cut him off.

“I know,” he says. “I’m glad about that. But if it had been the case I would have never forgiven myself for not being honest with you, you know?”

“I get it. Seriously,” you reassure him. Because you somehow do get it. Despite the fact that it hurt, that it was stinging your heart with no end during that time. But sometimes love turns us selfish. You’re sure this is what happened to Hyunjin in that moment too.

“Thank you. This is also, second, why I want to be honest with you again this time.”

You gulp. “Okay.” Is he already ending things with you before they started? You’re entering a spiral of angst once more.

“It’s a lot going on right now for me. I’ve become quite a new person over there and have to adjust to life in Seoul again. It’ll take some time for me to get used to everything. All I want to say is that you are still important to me. Nothing has changed about my feelings in the slightest, I promise. But I don’t want to rush things. It’s our last semester of college and I don’t wanna mess things up between us because I went too fast and got hooked up in the stress of everyday life and exams, you know?”

Oh, alright. That’s definitely something you can work with, right? After all, you need your time, too.

“Oh. I get that. Totally. I mean, I’m in my last semester too,” you explain.

“Okay, good. So, you’re okay with us taking things slowly?”

This doesn’t just count for school related stuff but you’re also not one to immediately jump into the dating and relationship life because you have zero experience on that level either.

“Absolutely!”

“You won’t think I’m… boring? Or something like that?”

“You, Hwang Hyunjin, boring? Never,” you chuckle. “We can take all the time you need, Hyune. It’s more than fine.”

“I’m glad about that. A huge weight is dropping off my shoulders, not gonna lie,” he says, placing his free hand right where his heart is.

“You seriously worried about that?”

“Well, I’ve been gone for six months. I’m sure all those guys have been waiting in line for you to date them. But I’m so happy to know I’m still your favourite, Y/N.”

Your chest tightens. First, you haven’t been dating anyone, sure, but you also came twice within the past two nights with the help of your crush’s good friend Minho. Second, does Hyunjin expect you to sit here and wait for him like an obedient housewife? Or is he genuinely happy that you still want to be with him?

Deciding to push those thoughts aside, you just add, “You’ll always be, don’t worry.”

Although you are not so sure about that one.

On your way back home, still very happy about the conversations you had with Hyunjin, there’s a certain topic still on your mind.

You messed up regarding Minho. Yes, it wasn’t visible in his eyes when you saw him in the library this morning but you know that he was mad about the fact you forgot to text. You probably would be too. It’s definitely not because he likes you but anyone would worry in a situation like this. You never know what could happen at night especially when you’re a female presenting person.

You wanna make up for it. That you are sure of. This is why you’ve decided to change into some comfy clothes, get takeout on your way out and visit Minho with food as a surprise. But when you arrive at your shared apartment, it isn’t Felix who is standing in the living room.

“I didn’t know I have a new roommate,” you greet him, before he pulls you into a hug.

“Ah, yeah. Sorry, Y/N. There is an issue at my student’s dorm and Felix said it’s fine that I can stay here,” Jisung explains.

You nod, “Yeah, yeah. I know.”

He looks at you confused. “You know?”

Fuck. You forgot that Jisung is very much not aware of the fact that you were at Minho’s last night and therefore heard everything they talked about. Including Jisung getting annoyed about the possibility of his best friend meeting Areum again and a certain cut off sentence of why this isn’t a good idea which you try not to think about. Why is Jisung so against it? What does he know?

“Y-Yeah, Lix told me,” you lie.

“Ah, great. I stayed at Minho’s apartment last night,” yeah, I know, “but his little sister will be visiting him tomorrow and you know that I can’t stand her and that’s also too many people in one studio apartment. I hope it’s okay I’m here.”

“Absolutely,” you say, “I’m just… I’m meeting up with a friend in a bit but you know where to find everything here, right? Do you need anything else?”

Jisung is basically the unofficial third roommate of this household given that he spends time here pretty often. “No worries, I’ve got everything and I’m also meeting up at the studio with my friends later.” He’s been working on some new songs with his little producer group—a trio of three, one of them being Felix’s gym crush Changbin.

“Great, then I’ll see you later,” you add before disappearing inside your room. You change into some more fitting clothes for a chill dinner inside, before you pack some stuff and leave the apartment again. Jisung is currently sitting on the couch, playing some games—perhaps with the girl he’s been texting—and you just wave him goodbye, receiving a bright smile from him.

On your way to Minho’s place, you buy some takeout food and a certain lemonade you’ve seen him drink from time to time, hoping it will hype up his mood. Although you know that this is basically impossible. Minho is never in a good mood except for when he’s teasing you. You arrive at the station near his house a little later, the food in one hand and the beverages in the other. The door downstairs is open, so you head inside and climb up to where his apartment is located.

You don’t know what it is despite your general anxiety but for a quick second you wonder if it was a good idea to go here spontaneously. What if he isn’t at home? What if Minho has someone over? The second thought lets a weird feeling erupt in your heart that you try to ignore.

It’s gonna be okay. Calm down.

You ring the doorbell and half a minute later, someone is opening the door.

Fuck.

Minho is standing there, wearing just a towel around his waist, his firm chest and arms on full display while he’s also showing off his thick thighs. You cling onto the stuff you brought with you. An accident of lemonade glass bottles hitting the floor and making a sticky mess is the last thing you need.

“Look who’s decided to show up,” is all he says as he invites you inside and grabs the stuff in your hands. You silently take off your shoes and jacket, before you toss your bag in some corner of his studio apartment.

“I’m sorry I didn’t text you.”

From where you’re standing and Minho being in the kitchen right now, you can barely see how he’s rolling his eyes but judging by the sound of his voice you are convinced that’s exactly what he’s doing. “I told you it’s fine. Just don’t forget it again next time, yeah?”

You nod, before you take a seat at his dining table and a minute later—after he changed into some actual clothes in his bathroom—Minho has the food and the beverages placed on the wooden table.

“That’s my favourite flavour,” he says when he catches a glimpse of the lemonade.

“You mentioned it once,” you reply and you can swear you notice his mouth turning into a small smile.

Munching the food, the conversation changes a little. You tell Minho about one of your classes from today for which you needed the book for since he was wondering why you ended up reading the same one. It turns out that you visit the same lecture every Tuesday before lunch and you don’t know how to feel about that. Then, the talking shifts to something else. You start speaking about your friend group since he tells you that Jisung left because Minho’s younger sister will be here tomorrow morning. And then he picks up the topic you were hoping for him to avoid.

“So… Hyunjin is already back?”

Food almost gets stuck in your throat but you manage to gulp down the bite you take. “Y-Yeah, he arrived yesterday.”

Something in Minho’s expression changes but you can’t quite tell what it means. You want to be honest with him, though. Despite not wanting to end this arrangement the two of you have—both because there’s still so much to learn and Hyunjin and you agreed to take things slowly anyway—you need to be transparent.

“We went on a date this afternoon,” you admit, before you take another sip from the lemonade.

His jaw clenches and for a whole minute the room falls silent. “Just a date?”

“Yeah. Just a date. Nothing serious or physical happened though,” you immediately justify yourself, going into full defense mode.

He nods, drinking more of his beverage too, swallowing the rest of the liquid until the bottle is all empty. You can catch a glimpse of his Adam's apple this way and it makes you stir in your seat. Calm the fuck down.

“No confessing feelings? No kissing and touching?” he asks, tilting his head. His expression is stern, his piercing gaze is pinning you to the wall behind you.

“Nothing of that,” you instantly reply.

“Good.” He smirks. “So, what does this mean for our contract?”

“It keeps going,” you answer.

He clicks his tongue, “You’re a fast learner, princess.”

Minho takes care of the dishes—not taking long thanks to the fact you brought takeout tonight—while he tells you to get comfortable on his couch. You’ve been wondering why he always opts for this piece of furniture when he has a perfectly fine working bed. But you don’t question it. Maybe he’s sensitive about it. He drops down next to you on the sofa, scooting a little closer this time, the respectful space between you shrinking every time the two of you meet here.

You can see it in his eyes, there’s excitement swirling inside them, and you’re kinda glad about the fact that he isn’t mad at you for yesterday and everything. On top of that, you’re grateful about Hyunjin wanting to take things slower because it leaves you more time with Minho and–

Wait, what?

No, we are not going down that road, Y/N. It’s just your hormones messing with you and your pussy clenching a little whenever you think about how you were lying on your back last night on this exact sofa, your legs parted for the man who’s in this room with you right now, while he was roughly thrusting his fingers inside of you, scissoring you open until you were gushing all over him.

“Any wishes for this evening?”

He drags you out of your daydreams and you dearly hope he hasn’t noticed. But heat rushes to your face, your expression probably has turned fully into showing how flustered you get around him. Fuck. He shouldn’t have this effect on you at all.

But you do have an idea for tonight’s lesson or whatever you wanna call it. You’ve realised—especially when reminiscing about the date you went on with Hyunjin—that Minho has almost turned into an expert of making you come, whereas you haven’t even touched him yet. And therefore aren’t prepared at all for any possible encounters with your actual crush.

“I wanna make you come tonight,” you blurt out.

One of Minho’s eyebrows immediately snaps open and so does one side of his mouth, when he lets out, “Oh?”

You’ve expected him to tease you a bit more but what you don’t know yet is that he’s been dreaming about exactly this for some time, no, years now. Not just the fact that you will be taking care of his most primal needs but also the thought of you asking him to do exactly this.

“Y-Yeah, you promised to show me how to pleasure a… a man b-but the other nights so far it was you who… you know,” you explain, turning a bit shy now and this just arouses him even more.

If there wasn’t a blanket laid across his lap, you’d already see the outlines of his covered but hardening cock. God, who is the virgin again? No one has ever managed to make him get this turned on so quickly just with some words. But the simple image of your pretty hand or mouth wrapped around his cock, stroking him until he reaches his high plays evil games with his mind. It’s not just that his corruption kink gains a lot from this, it’s also the sole fact it’s you who’s offering it to make him come. No, who wants to learn how to make him come and Minho is glad to be teaching you.

“Hm, you’re right. Third time’s a charm,” he replies, before he scoots a bit closer. “You wanna take the lead this time, baby?”

Baby. The name shoots a sensation right to your lower stomach, as you feel arousal drip into your panties.

“Yes,” you say with a confident voice all while you’re growing nervous on the inside.

Minho’s fingers seize around your wrist, before he pulls you closer and into his lap in one go. It feels just like two days ago, when he had you straddling him and riding his thigh until you came undone for him. You can see it in his eyes, he’s waiting for you to make the first move, slowly leaning back.

“Come on, princess. Show me what you’ve got,” he whispers. The palms of his hands are attached to your waist, dragging you toward him until his mouth is only an inch separated from your own. You can feel his breath lingering on your skin and you swear you can see his eyes turn ten shades darker.

“Kiss me,” he says and that’s all you need to crash your lips into his.

A tiny whine slips out of you but it gets muffled by Minho. Your mouth against his feels as if this is anatomically meant to be, as if your bodies were put on this planet to find each other but deep down you know it’s because you’ve been kissing him for the third day in a row. Of course it’s just a matter of time until you get used to it and become an expert.

You find yourself grinding on top of him just like last Sunday but this time he pushes his own legs apart and reaches for your hand.

“Do you want this?” Minho asks in between kisses and you hastily nod. “Yes. I do. Please, show me.”

He chuckles against your mouth, before he takes the lead this time when he seals your lips with his own. His tongue slips in, dancing around with yours. One of your favourite things to do with him. It just feels hypnotising. Every touch. Every kiss. Every move he makes puts you in full trance, it’s insane. Insanely mesmerising.

One of your hands lands on his chest, feeling how firm he is despite the shirt that’s covering his upper body. You let it travel further down and you swear you can feel Minho smirk because of how eager you are. Your palm passes his navel, his stomach and wanders even further south until it comes to a halt. He knows it’s just that you’re nervous about doing anything wrong—which is ridiculous, really, Minho knows he’ll like anything you do and he’s here to teach you after all. So, he gives you a little nudge by saying, “Touch me.”

You nod, a giggle spilling from your lips, before your hand lands on his crotch. Feeling him through his gray—yes, you heard it correctly—sweatpants, you try to wrap your hand around him as much as you can, hindered by the fabric that’s covering his growing erection. He already feels big despite being fully clothed and you wonder how he—perhaps at some point—is supposed to fit inside your pussy.

“You wanna go further?” he asks you, before he reaches for a strand of hair that’s dangling in front of your face and tugs it behind your ear. Your heart skips a beat and you curse yourself for becoming so weak this easily.

“Yeah, I do,” you say.

“Then, pull them off,” he replies and his eyes look down at his pants. You get the hint, bringing both your hands to the hem of the clothing and in an instant, you slide them down his thighs. His boxers are still hiding his dick but there’s not a lot left to your imagination when you see his tent. You gulp and he has to hide another one of those smirks. Fuck, you look so adorable. It’s so cute how shy you get and he can’t wait to ruin you at some point, have you bouncing on his cock while his hands are gripping your hips and he’s whispering sinful words right into your ear, all while you struggle not to come again and again.

But this has to wait for now. You’re doing this step by step. No matter how far you want to go tonight, he won’t allow more than a handjob. Both because he doesn’t want to overwhelm you and take your excitement for granted but also because he wants to stretch the time he’s got with you and crave you more by feeding you small bites instead of the full five course meal at once.

“You ready?” he asks and you reply by getting rid of his remaining material, too. When Minho slips out of his boxers, you notice he’s still wearing his shirt. It’s a good thing he’s leaving it on—so that you don’t lose your mind completely—but also a pity you don’t get to see his muscular chest again tonight. However, you’re far too distracted anyway when his big cock springs free, standing upright, the tip leaking precum.

Minho reaches for your hand, guiding it towards his length and you wrap your fingers around it. He places his own on top of them, helping you with the first few motions. Your hand is moving up and down, squeezing him a little but not too much until he applies more pressure with his own hand that’s attached to yours.

“Yeah, baby, like that,” he breathes, slightly throwing his head back. Just in case that there’s gonna be a mess—well there definitely is gonna be one and probably a lot sooner than what he has anticipated—Minho pulls his shirt over his head, freeing himself. There’s something about this scene, how you’re still fully clothed and he’s entirely naked that just keeps him going. Usually, he prefers it the other way around but it seems as if Minho is exploring new sides of himself when he’s with you.

“You can go a bit faster,” he encourages you and you do as you’re told, keeping your eyes on him at any time.

“Fuck, that feels good, princess. Keep going.”

You’ve never realised that you’d love it when a man would be this vocal but Minho’s whimpers and the way he’s begging for more sounds like the sweetest melody to your ears. You soon become an expert at stoking him, squeezing his cock just the right way when your hand goes up and down and up and down again.

Judging by the way his facial expression shifts and his eyebrows are scrunched together, you know it won’t take him long to reach his climax. He’s panting, breathing out your name and praising you with no end. You hope this moment won’t ever stop. If Hyunjin reacts the same way when you’re gonna be intimate with him for the first time, you’re gonna be so proud of yourself.

“Fuck,” Minho groans, “a little more. Shit. You’re such a good girl. Keep going, keep going. Yeah, just like that, just–“

Hot white ropes shoot out of him, coating his stomach and spilling over your hand, while you continue with your movements but automatically slow down a bit. Minho keeps moaning, his mouth parted and his eyes closed, until he comes down again and reaches for your hand, stopping your motions.

“I knew you were a quick learner,” he chuckles, before he tells you to get up and rushes to the bathroom to get a towel.

You have to hold back a mixture of the brightest smile and absolute confusion when Minho leads you to the door of his apartment. However, you feel insanely proud of yourself that you actually made him come. Minho, of all people. That one man who never shows any emotion came undone and moaned right into your ears as if it’s his fucking mantra because you pleasured him this good. Your ego is gonna be at the size of his own soon if this agreement keeps going like that.

“Is this the only jacket you brought with you?” the man in question asks when he sees you put on the piece of clothing.

“Yeah, why?”

He reaches for a sweater on his chair that he gives you. “The temperature has dropped down a lot. It’s only spring, Y/N. It’s still cold once the sun is down, you know?”

You nod and take the piece of cosy fabric before you put it on. He has given you a sweater that he must have worn before considering it smells like him—driving you crazy but you try to ignore it—because Minho is so organised, he probably has fresh clothes inside his closet but you don’t say anything. For some reason, you like it this way. It’s wrong, yes. So fucking wrong. Because you’re in love with Hyunjin and Minho is just here to help you with your little lack of sexual experience. Nothing more. But the atmosphere between the two of you becomes more and more domestic and comfortable.

“Shall we?” he asks, opening the door for you.

You follow behind him and he closes it again. There’s not much talking when he brings you home, the subway staying rather silent except for a few glances between you two that you can’t quite interpret yet. When you arrive at your station, you tell Minho he should go home but he makes sure to bring you to the entrance door of your apartment building. Only when he’s watched you walk inside, he leaves, with his heart heavy as stone.

It’s similar for you—confusion is what describes your current state the best and a little bit of guilt that you shouldn’t have. Hyunjin didn’t tell you to not meet up with anyone else, after all. You’re sure he’s kissed and probably even fucked a bunch of other women when he was in Paris and perhaps even might do the same now that he’s back. You know how he is, after all. During the time when he started dating the last girlfriend he had—over a year ago—he was going to parties and having one night stands with other people too. Just when they started becoming something more serious, he stopped.

But you don’t know where you are on that line when it comes to serious things with Hyunjin. You wish he would have talked more to you about it without you having to tell him, Hey, you know what, I’m still absolutely in love with you but your friend Minho is teaching me how to make men come so I can be a better lover for you once we decide to get closer. Cool, right?

Yeah, still absolutely ridiculous.

You push those thoughts aside, knowing you can’t change anything right now anyway. Entering the apartment, you find Felix and Jisung sprawled out on the couch but they are so occupied in a round of video games that you sneak straight into your bedroom.

When you reach for your phone to charge it after this long day, you notice you must have received a message when you were on the subway with Minho.

[ Areum ]: Hey, Y/N. ☺️ When do you have classes tomorrow? How about we meet on campus for breakfast? I really enjoy talking to you and would love to get to know you better. But no pressure, we can always reschedule if it’s too spontaneous! I hope you had a great rest of your day and ate well. Take care and sweet dreams 🤍

© leeknowsallyoursecrets 2024 — copying, stealing or translating my work is prohibited

[lino-jagiyaa]

No Contact

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader

Word Count: 7.6k

Tags: ANGST with a happy ending, amnesia, memory loss, grief, pining, yearning, hurt/comfort

Summary: It was one of the worst car accidents the city has seen. You weren't supposed to be in that car, but you were. When you lose your memories from the incident, Chan is ordered to stay away for your recovery's sake; but it takes a larger toll on him than anyone could have imagined. Until one day, he just can't take it anymore.

A/N: inspired by this post. Angst ahoy <3 I had too much fun writing this. Maybe I like writing emotions. Enjoy <3

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No contact. That’s what Chan was told was best for you. That’s what was going to help your healing process. 

No contact whatsoever. No texts, no calls, no little surprise visits. No fucking contact. None. 

He was told it would just hurt you if he talked to you— that he would just make it worse. That you would only become more confused and upset. It would be absolutely detrimental for him to see you.

Hell, it might even make you worse. 

It’s killing Chan slowly. Every single day feels like torture for him. The days get exponentially worse. He feels like a hollow shell of his former self, like the wind goes through him when he steps foot outside. It feels like his shoulders are permanently sagged forward. 

But the worst part is that you don’t even know it. You don’t know how he’s collapsing inwards like a dying star. 

It was one of the worst car accidents the city has seen in years. A friend was driving you home that night; Chan had begged to be the one to pick you up, but no, you said it was fine, the friend was heading that way anyway. Why make the unnecessary trip?

You told him he needed sleep. Always putting his needs before your own. You always did. 

He should’ve put up more of a fuss. He should’ve put his foot down. He should’ve already been outside the house in his car with the passenger seat warmer on by the time you left that stupid party. 

He should’ve gotten out of the car and opened the door for you and had a cold bottle of water waiting in the cup holder. He should’ve kissed you on the cheek and asked you all about your time. He should have been there.

But he wasn’t. 

A drunk driver slammed into the passenger side of your friend’s car at a speed that you shouldn’t have even survived.

Miracles do happen, though. But what a price to pay for a miracle. 

For as long as he lives, Chan will never forget the sheer panic and terror he felt when the call came in from your mother. You were already at the hospital undergoing emergency surgery.

He was the last to know. 

After all, he wasn’t your emergency contact. He’s only your boyfriend.

Was. Was your boyfriend. Was? Is that the right word? He isn’t. But he is. There was no breakup. 

Is that what he’s going through right now? A breakup? 

You’re not on a break. But what is this? What is this loss? This severance is so horrible. 

It’s fucked up. It’s a fucked up, amnesia induced breakup. 

Memory loss is a funny thing. Doctors scratch their heads and shrug their shoulders without any answers. The brain is a tricky thing. 

Chan did what he was allowed to in that hospital. He sat in that stark white room under those harsh LED lights and he waited until you were awake. He even waited much longer after that because only two visitors were permitted inside your room at a time— and he wasn’t about to force his way in and kick one of your parents out. 

He let your sister go in first. He even let your cousin go in before him. But when it was finally his turn… 

He never got to see you. 

“The last five years?” Chan asked with a tight throat. Did he even have any more tears left to cry? How is there any liquid left in his body?

“She says doesn’t remember anything, Chan.” Your mother’s voice was just as hollow as his. “She was asking about her freshman roommate.”

A doctor stood in between him and your mom. “It’s best if we don’t throw everything at her at once. Amnesia victims rarely never get their memories back, but we’ve found that it needs to happen organically. Seeing her will overwhelm her and that could stunt the healing process.”

Chan’s mouth opened and closed several times but no words came out at all. His heart may have stopped. 

Does that mean…?

No…

“He can’t see her at all?” Your mother asked quietly. “Not even to visit? He doesn’t have to mention he’s her boyfriend, he can just say that he’s a friend, or a coworker, or—“

The doctor cut her off. “No contact. Not until we’re a bit through recovery and she’s starting to get her memories back.”

Chan was suddenly in a chair. 

When did he sit down? The Doctor’s hands were on his shoulders and he was looking down at him with a sympathetic stare.  

“It’s not forever, son.”

Chan was only able to nod. His mouth was so dry, the back of his neck felt clammy. His head was spinning.

Books often speak of moments as ‘Earth-shattering’. Of moments so catastrophic that the planet stops spinning on its axis and time stands still.

He gets it now. 

The doctor spoke a few more words to your mother before walking away. She looked down at Chan sadly. 

Your mother sat on the chair next to him and wrapped him up in a hug. His world was falling apart around him. You were slipping through his fingers. He couldn’t even see you.

Hot tears poured down his face while he sat there with his head in his hands. Why does it feel like he’s losing you? Why is this the only way? Why are these the cards that are being dealt?

Why didn’t he pick you up from that fucking party?

“She loves you, Chan… she’ll come to her senses, I promise, I promise.”

It’s been two months, one week, two days and eight hours since he’s talked to you. That long since he’s known peace. Since he’s known any sort of comfort. 

You’re the last thing he thinks about before he closes his eyes at night and the first thing he thinks about in the morning. No matter how many times he wakes up and feels the cold bed next to him, it never dulls the ache in his chest.

It’s not a healthy mindset, he knows. And it’s not that you were codependent on one another, that’s not it at all. You were just… ripped away from him. 

Food has no taste. The sky isn’t as blue as it used to be. Clouds don’t make fun shapes like they did with you by his side. The stars are still in the sky, he thinks, he hasn’t had the guts to look at them. 

God, you love the stars so much. You always talked about how pretty they are— how absolutely breath-taking you think the universe is. Chan would simply listen, he would always listen. All he ever wanted to do was listen.

How is he supposed to look at anything the same way? How is any day supposed to be normal when half of his life is suddenly missing. What’s the point of making music if you’re not there to listen to it?

5:00 PM is the hardest hour to get through. You don’t open the door to his apartment when you get off work. You don’t tell him about the things that happened during your shift. 

He can’t leave little snacks out on the counter for you to eat when you get home like he used to. 

Mice would get to it before you did. 

His lonely apartment is slowly losing your smell. He could spray your perfume, sure, you keep a bottle at his place, but it’s not the same. You somehow made the scent sweeter by letting it linger on your skin. 

All of your old toiletries are still there where you left them. Your spare toothbrush has been bone dry and untouched since 9:28 AM that morning. Your shampoo bottles are still half full and waiting for you on your shower shelf.

It had rained a few days before your accident. You had started a puzzle on his dining room table that day– you told him it was the perfect rainy day activity. It was a picture of different comic book covers. It’s now collecting dust. Unmoved and unsolved. 

Just like him.

It was a battle and a half to throw away your leftovers from two nights before your car accident. He felt like he was throwing away your normal life, your tiny domestic traces. 

He didn’t want to cleanse you from his life, but you were washing away. Your ghost was eroding with time. 

Your spare car keys are still hanging on the key ring. Your rain coat is on the third hook draped right over your work bag. Even your phone charger is still plugged into the wall on your side of the bed.

Did you know you forgot to put your favorite gold earrings on that night? You left them on the nightstand. They’re still there, don’t worry. Right next to the glass of water you drank half of. 

Do you even remember them…? He got them for you for your first Christmas together. 

There are so many signs of a life interrupted integrated so deeply into his. 

You’re a clock whose hands stopped suddenly at 1:24 AM. 

This sort of haunting is unbearable. You’re not a phantom in his life, though. You’re something so unattainable that he had once but it was taken away with empty promises of return. 

It’s like you’re a shiny diamond hidden away beneath lasers and traps like in those stupid, cheesy spy movies you love so much. 

Do you know what he would give to watch one of those with you in his arms right now? 

Chan feels like he’s banging on the glass of a one sided window, screaming for you to remember him. Meanwhile you’re on the other side only staring into a mirror, trying to pick up the pieces from before. 

Your mom sends him updates on your condition all the time. He knows that you started working at the local library about three weeks ago. 

You had worked there in college before graduating and getting your last job. It was one of your favorite jobs you ever had. That library was so special to you. 

To him too. 

It’s the library where he first met you. 

The same library Chan finds himself in front of now. 

He shouldn’t go in. He can’t go in. He absolutely should not go inside. 

Bang Chan you should not and cannot go inside this library. Under no circumstances should you step foot inside this building where your other half is working. 

Absolutely not. 

The door emits a soft ding when he opens it. Electronic. Quiet. Peaceful. 

There’s a certain type of silence that sits in a library. It’s closer, thicker— warmer. It’s an expected silence. They’re supposed to be quiet. 

Chan can hear his sneakers take every step on the carpeted floor. There’s no one sitting behind the front desk; that’s where you usually were. 

His eyes look all around, but there’s no sign of you anywhere. A few people toddle around the shelves. 

There’s more soft beeping coming from the self checkout. That’s new. They didn’t have that when you worked here years ago. You probably hate it. 

On the day he met you, you were wearing a pair of dark green pants and a black long sleeve shirt. Your hair was clipped behind your head and pieces were falling over your face. 

Chan was only in the library to look for the bathroom. He was on his way to lunch with a friend, but he just had to stop somewhere. The library was the closest option. 

When he had heard the sound of books falling, he investigated and found you in the center of the carnage, the glasses on your nose sat crookedly and you rubbed your head. 

Your eyes met. He was a goner. 

How disgustingly poetic that he finds himself here now. Where he really shouldn’t be. He was quite literally prescribed a restraining order against you. 

Chan meanders around with his hands in his pockets, the silence getting louder and louder the further he gets inside.

Maybe you’re not working today? 

No one is anywhere to be seen. He’s checking down all the aisles but he doesn’t see you anywhere. 

Maybe it’s for the best that you’re not here. He’s not supposed to see you anyway. He’s breaking the doctor’s rules by doing this anyway. 

He needs to leave. He needs to get out of here. 

His feet stop in front of the very aisle where he saw you for the first time. 

Empty. 

You-less. 

If he thinks hard enough, Chan can picture you in front of him, laughing quietly with the most adorable, embarrassed blush on your cheeks. 

What a moment. 

Is it possible to spend eternity in that moment? Obviously internal clocks can be rewound, paused, flipped every which way; can he go back to that day? Can he go back to the day where every single poem suddenly made sense?

He would take any day, really, any day that had you in it. Birthdays, holidays, late night dates, Hell, he’d even take a day where he only saw you when you dropped off a drink for him in his studio. 

Anything, he would take anything just to see your smile bloom on your face while he watches.

“Can I help you find something?”

His breath catches in his throat, it feels like he’s physically punched in the chest. That voice. That beautiful, melodic voice. He hasn’t heard it in person in months, only in videos he had on his phone. 

Slowly, Chan turns to face the source of his favorite pitch. 

His throat immediately tightens. 

There you are. You. Beautiful you. 

Standing right there. Looking at him like a complete fucking stranger. 

“I…” his voice is hoarse. Chan can feel the tears in his eyes begin to form. He didn’t think this through, did he?

You’re staring at him expectantly, waiting for him to say anything. You’re waiting, come on, Chan. Speak up. Say something. 

Looking up at the shelf, you look back down at him with a smile. “A history guy, hm?”

No.

“Yeah.”

You giggle. “I always had a thing for History.”

He knows. 

“Really?”

“Mhmm.” You respond with a grin. 

Specifically Ancient Rome. He knows. 

You continue. “Specifically Ancient Rome.”

Chan nods and clears his throat. His palms feel so sweaty. His chest is almost panting. Every single cell in his body just wants to lunge forward and wrap you in a hug. 

He wants to bury his face in your neck and sob while you hold him. He wants to tell you that he missed you so much. He wants to tell you how your pillow is losing the scent of your shampoo. He wants to tell you that he’s been DVR-ing your favorite show so that you can watch it later. He wants to tell you about his day. He wants to kiss you until you’re breathless. He wants you to hear the new song he’s been working on.

But—

“If you need anything, let me know.”

You start to walk away.

Chan feels his heart physically break. It’s happening again. He’s on the other side of that one way mirror. It’s happening again! No, no please. 

His eyes widen, the words get caught in his throat. Fuck, Y/N, please!

“W-Wait!” he says quickly. 

You turn around with a curious look. 

“The Odyssey,” he blurts. “Where uh… where can I find it?”

Your eyes light up. “Oh, I love The Odyssey.”

He knows. You collect different translations of it. 

“I collect different translations of that book, here I’ll show you where it is.”

With a little hop in your step you lead him towards all the classics. 

He watches you like you’re an oasis in the desert— maybe it’s because you are. You’re what he’s been crawling towards for two months. 

You lead him all the way to the shelf where the Odyssey lives. Your nimble fingers reach forward and grab one of the copies. 

Green nail polish. You still paint your nails green. You picked that habit up a year after he met you. 

The memories have to be there, Y/N, they have to be. Chan bought you that first bottle of green nail polish as a joke on Saint Patrick’s Day. 

Y/N, please. 

“This translation is my favorite,” you whisper and hand him the book. 

Chan smiles sadly and takes the book from you, unable to meet your eyes. He knows if he gazes into those gorgeous eyes that he’ll lose it. He’ll fall to his knees and cry. 

“Thank you,” he whispers back. 

You stand there for a moment, he can feel your eyes on his face. He always has been able to tell when you were looking at him, it’s a little, secret superpower. 

From foot to foot, your weight shifts. 

You only do that when you’re confused. Why are you confused? Y/N, are you confused?

“I’m sorry…” you start, sounding so unsure. “You remind me of someone…”

It feels like a defibrillator was hooked up to his chest. Chan’s eyes widen and he finally looks up at you. 

You’re looking at him so carefully. He can see the gears turning in your head. Your tongue pokes out of your lips and wets them. 

Y/N, please. 

“I just… I can’t figure out who. Do I… do I know you? I was—” You stop yourself. 

Fuck. Fuck! What was he supposed to say? Fuck! 

Chan wants to scream. He wants to grab you by the shoulders and cry that he’s your soulmate, that he’s the person that knows you better than anyone else in this world. 

Yes, you do, you do know him. And he knows you. He knows how you take your coffee, what movies make you cry, what color jell-o is your favorite. 

He knows that you never wear matching socks and you always lift your feet when driving over railroad tracks. 

He knows that when you were 6 you ran into the corner of a cabinet and that’s how you got that scar next to your eyebrow. 

Chan knows that your entire life you wanted to be an author but you’re so scared of failure that you decided not to chase after it. 

He knows everything. 

“I just have one of those faces, I guess.” It comes out of his mouth so strained. 

You stare back at him so carefully. Do you see right through him?

“Maybe,” you say slowly. You don’t believe him. He knows that tone. You absolutely do not believe a word he’s saying. “Are you sure?”

Chan swallows, he grips the book in his hand tighter. The lump in his throat almost doesn’t go down, more tears prick at his eyes. 

“I would never forget a face like yours,” he chokes out. 

Your eyes widen and you blush, looking to the side with a smile. You always were a sucker for cheesy compliments. 

After thinking for a second, you reach into your pocket and take out a little slip of paper. 

“Here,” you say after scribbling something down. Holding it out, Chan sees it’s your phone number. He has it memorized. “If you ever need more books to read… or find… call me.”

Chan takes the paper with a racing heart. He gives you a smile, his dimples showing. “I think I will,” he whispers to you. 

Another few moments pass of you just staring at him before you nod and giggle nervously. “Well, I gotta get back to work, so..”

Chan nods and moves to the side. You walk past him. 

Your perfume curls around him like a blanket and he craves that sweet serenity he finds when he holds you close and breathes you in. 

Three steps after you pass him, you turn around. “Oh, I didn’t catch your name.”.

“Chan,” he answers softly. 

“Chan,” you repeat. It goes right through him. 

Your voice. Your sweet, beautiful, melodic voice. Finally, he heard you say his name again.

“I’m Y/N,” you whisper to him with a friendly smile. 

“Nice to meet you, Y/N.” Chan has to physically force the word ‘meet’ out of his mouth. 

“You too, Chan.”

And with that, you were gone, retreating back into your fortress of papyrus. 

—————————————————————

A bad idea was going into the library that day. 

An even worse idea was texting you the day after to ask how your day is going. 

And then an absolutely fucking idiotic move was asking if you wanted to go to dinner with him. 

And the worst part? You said yes. 

So, now here Chan was, standing in front of the mirror in his bedroom getting ready for what you thought was a first date, but to him was just a dinner date. 

How is he supposed to do this? He’s not, that’s how. 

Chan fiddles with his bracelet right before his phone rings. 

His heart drops when he sees the caller ID, your mother. 

“Ah, fuck…” he whispers before grabbing his phone. Of course you were going to tell your mom, you tell your mom everything. 

“Hello?” he asks warily into the phone. 

“Hi, Chan,” she says slowly, she sounds nervous, why does she sound nervous. 

“How are you? Is everything okay?”

“It’s Y/N…” Her voice lowers. Chan’s heart drops. “Before you panic, she’s okay! It’s um.. she’s getting ready right now… for a date…”

Chan isn’t moving. Yes, he knows you are. He knows it. But words won’t form in his mouth. 

“Channie.. I’m starting to wonder if that doctor isn’t right.. I can’t stand the thought of her finding someone else when you’re waiting for her… I tried to talk her out of it but she just seems so floaty and happy. God, I feel sick to my stomach.”

His jaw clenches. Now or never. 

“It’s with me,” he blurts. 

Your mom goes silent. Then a huge sigh comes out of her mouth. 

“I wish I could say I’m angry,” a little laugh follows it. “I think I’m only angry that you didn’t say something.”

He tells her everything, down to the way he pretended not to know you. 

“Well, you’re going to have to tell her eventually.” Your mom sounds unsure, herself. 

“Or maybe she’ll remember me.”

“What if she doesn’t?”

Chan sits down on the edge of his bed. His eyes are staring at the wall, unfocused. 

She’s right. What if you don’t? 

“Then, I’ll just … do it all again.”

Silence greets him on the other side of the line. Another tiny laugh comes from your mom. “I always knew you two were perfect together. Just like two magnets, you always come towards one another.”

—————————————————————

“I’ve never eaten here before,” you say with a chipper smile on your face from across the table. 

Yes, you have. 

“Really?” Chan asks, taking a sip of his water. 

“I pass it all the time and always wondered how the food was.”

He looks back down at the old menu. 

This restaurant was more than special to him. It’s where he took you on your first date. It’s an old fashioned burger joint with the greasiest, most delicious French fries in town. 

The first time you guys came here, you talked and talked until the place closed. And even after that, you drove around and talked until it was late. 

“I’ve been here a few times, it’s really good. The milkshakes are some of the best I’ve ever had.” Chan’s sweaty hands fiddle with the menu. 

He’s more nervous now than on the first date. 

“What’s the best one?” you ask with a smile. 

A small laugh comes out of his nose. “The peanut butter one.”

It was your favorite. 

“Yeah but then you can’t have any,” you say so nonchalantly, looking down at the menu. 

His eyebrows knit together. “What?”

“‘Cause of your allergy.”

He stops. 

You stop. 

He has a peanut allergy. Chan has a peanut allergy. 

His lips purse like he’s going to say something but you beat him to the punch. 

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out. “I… I don’t know why I thought that.” Your hands grip the menu a little tighter. “Maybe I’m thinking of someone else?”

Chan shakes his head. “No, no, it’s okay. I… I do have a peanut allergy. Maybe I said something before?”

You stare at him for a long second before looking back down at the menu once more. “Yeah… um. Maybe.”

He definitely did not say something. 

Dinner continues on. Chan listens to you talk and pretends he’s never heard your stories before and he tells you ones he knows he’s said before. 

The entire time, you were beaming at him, just like you used to before the accident. Your face never loses its constant happy glow. He’s not sure that the muscles in your face know how to frown.  

You’re the last two people in the restaurant. The staff doesn’t seem to mind. Maybe they recognize you both. Maybe. 

A lull dips into your conversation. Both of you know you should leave. Neither wants to. Especially the broken man sitting across from you. 

Chan takes the last sip of his drink. The bill has been paid for about an hour at this point. You’re looking down at your lap with a pink flush on your cheeks. 

You bite your lip and look up at Chan carefully. 

“Are you… are you sure I don’t know you, Chan?”

He stares at you. Did you know that you always bite your lip like that when you’re confused? 

“I just… I really feel like I know you. There’s just…” you pause, trying to find your words. He knows you want to tell him about the accident. He knows you want to say it but you don’t want to weird him out. 

What the fuck is he supposed to do? What is he supposed to tell you? 

“Something happened to me a little while ago, my brain’s been… fuzzy since then,” you explain shyly. “I know you said you don’t know me but I just… I can’t help feel like that’s not true.”

Chan’s jaw clenches, his knee bounces anxiously underneath the table. His head turns to the side in his typical nervous tick. 

Your mother’s words echo in his mind, his tongue suddenly feels like it’s swelling to the size of his mouth— making him unable to speak. Should he tell you? Is it now or never?

“I don’t mean to make it weird, Chan.”

He licks his lips and opens his mouth. 

Your phone rings. 

A sigh of relief comes from deep within Chan’s chest. 

Reluctantly, you pick up the phone and hold it to your ear. “Hello? …. No, I didn’t know…. Yeah, of course…. Sure… Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

Just as quickly as you answered the phone, you hang up. 

“Sorry,” you mumble. “Someone called out of work for tomorrow, they need me to come in.”

“Do you need to get going?” Chan asks, looking down at the time. It’s well past 10 o’clock. 

A sad smile crosses your face. “I mean… probably.” The time on your watch flashes back at you. He can tell you don’t want to go home yet. 

“Come on, Y/N, I’ll walk you home.”

Chan’s already standing up from the table, picking his jacket up off the back of his chair. You watch his movements and slowly get up, your movements screaming reluctance. 

—————————————————————

It’s three dates later when the two of you are walking down the street towards your house. It’s only a few blocks from here, but you both decide to take a tiny detour through the local park. 

“I have to say I’m a little excited to meet your friends,” you giggle. “I hope that’s not weird.”

You already have. 

“It’s not weird at all. I’m sure they’d like you.” Chan nudges your arm with his elbow, his hands staying in his pocket. 

“Changbin sounds like a blast.”

He was your favorite before.

“The two of you…” Chan thinks over his words carefully. “The two of you would definitely cause some mischief.”

And you have. 

A tiny lull of comfortable silence falls over the conversation. 

Both of you meander towards the swings. A cold wind blows through the air but neither of you react to it. 

With a tiny giggle, you sit down on one of the swings and hold onto the chains on the side. 

You are just so… you. You’re just your authentic self. Amnesia or not, you haven’t changed a bit. It’s so charming.

“I can’t remember the last time I went on the swings.” You start to move your body back and forth, not too much but enough to get the tiny thrill the toy brings. 

Chan walks up and stands next to you, his hand coming out and grabbing at the chain of the swing next to yours. 

The brightest smile stretches over your face. 

God, it really doesn’t take a lot to make you smile, does it? He guesses that means it doesn’t take a lot for him either since he smiles when you do.

He can’t help it.

He watches you move back and forth, the cold breeze kicking up a bit more and blowing dead leaves across the sidewalk. 

“What’s wrong, Chan? Allergic to swings?” you tease. 

He rolls his eyes with a smirk. “No, I just far more enjoy watching you have fun.”

Your cheeks flush. If he didn’t know you, maybe he would’ve chocked it up to the cold. But he knows the difference between your blush and the elements now. 

“You’re a smooth talker, Bang Chan.”

“It comes easy with you, Y/N L/N.”

Another laugh from you. 

“Shameless flirt.”

He puts his hand on his chest in mock hurt. “Ouch! I just speak the truth, that’s all. Not my fault I like seeing you blush.”

Every word that comes out of his mouth feels so natural. If he really thinks about it, he’s in a weirdly unique situation. Not many couples get to start over, to feel those butterflies again. But here he is, his palms starting to get sweaty as he imagines kissing you. 

Would you call it a first kiss? Maybe. 

It has been four dates. It wouldn’t be.. inappropriate to kiss you, would it? The two of you kissed on your third date a few years ago. 

He wants to kiss you so bad. 

Should he? Shouldn’t he? God, why is this so hard?

Chan reaches out and grabs the chain of your swing, pulling it to a very gentle stop. 

“Uh oh, fun police,” you tease and look up at him with a grin. 

Looking down at you, Chan allows his eyes to look over every detail of your face that he already had memorized. You haven’t changed at all except the new scar on the side of your forehead from the accident. 

It’s the same eyes, same nose, same chin that he fell in love with so long ago. 

The same asymmetrical eyes that you’re so self conscious of but he loves. Your hair is wind blown and splayed every which way. It adds a childish charm to your features. 

Very carefully, Chan moves his free hand down to cup your cheek. His warm palm soothes your ice cold face. He hears your breath catch in your throat at his touch. 

His thumb swipes over your cheek, fingertips run down the soft lines of your jawline. Eventually his thumb ends up under your chin which he tilts up. 

Your eyes sparkle. They somehow capture the light of the lamps around the playground. But they’ve always done that. 

You’re always so enchanting.

Is this a good idea? 

Is kissing you the best option? 

But does he even have the strength to stop himself now?

Almost three months without feeling your lips on his has been torture, and here he is, with you in his hands and there’s still this nagging feeling that he should stop. 

One look into your eyes quells that anxiety. 

Your eyes keep flickering down to his own lips, the shaky breath you let out is hot against his fingers. Everything feels warmer compared to the air outside. 

He can’t take it anymore. 

Chan leans down and presses his lips to yours. They’re warm and slightly chapped.

But, my god, he’s never felt anything this heavenly before. It’s like his entire body unwinds. Like a fire was lit inside his stomach. 

He moves his hand to the back of your head and keeps your lips pressed against his. Your head tilts to the side slightly. It’s just like he remembers. 

It’s just the first kiss, he can’t let himself get carried away. He can’t. 

He can’t let his fingers wind through your hair. He can’t melt into your touch on his cheek. He can’t let himself drown in your lips. 

But he is. 

He’s letting you consume his very soul in one kiss. 

How can something feel so healing yet hurt so badly at the same time? It’s like you’re ripping open a wound and bandaging it at the same time. 

No matter how hard he tries, he can’t bring his lips away from yours. Your hand slides down to caress his jawline with those soft, manicured fingers. 

Your lips open and close over his like mirror images. The feeling shoots straight down into Chan’s gut. It’s like the first time for him all over again. 

Those butterflies are going insane in his stomach. Your scent kicks up in the wind and he can’t help but take a large breath through his nose. 

God, he can’t stop himself. It feels too good. 

His hand moves from the back of your hair to cup your cheek and bring you closer. 

He immediately stops. 

Why is your face wet?

Chan pulls away from the kiss and looks down at you with concern written all over his expression. 

You’re crying. Why … why are you crying?

Your eyes open and you look at him confused. 

“Chan?” you whisper. You’re confused too. What?

“Why are you crying, Y/N?” he asks with a thick voice.

Your eyes widen and your own hand comes up to swipe at your cheeks. Sure enough, you’re met with tears. 

“I… I don’t know,” you say so quietly. “I-I’m not sure.”

Chan starts backing away, your eyes snap to focus on his. Your hand shoots up to grab at his to keep him there. You’re still so confused. 

Emotions are flying through your eyes. It almost looks like someone is clicking a light switch on and off in the back of your mind. A lightbulb is flickering in your soul like a dying neon sign in an old shop window. 

Every muscle in your face is twitching.

What’s happening?

“Channie—“ your own voice cuts off by a sob. 

Chan’s heart jumpstarts. You haven’t called him that… not in two months… that’s what you and your mother called him before the accident. 

Are you…? Are you remembering? What’s happening?

Please. 

Slowly, your hand falls from his. 

Chan stays there, unmoving like a statue. What’s happening inside your mind right now? It looks like you’re reaching and reaching for something that you can’t quite put your finger on. 

He's watching you struggle. It’s like when you can’t remember a word. It’s right there. It’s on the tip of your tongue.

You gulp, your eyes leave his and you look down at your lap. The dirt crunches under your feet as you shuffle your shoes around.

Chan swipes his thumb over your cheek, brushing away the tears. He’s biting back his own. 

“It’s okay—“ “I’m sorry—“ are both said at the exact same time. 

He knew it was coming. He knows you. But you don’t know him. Not anymore. 

But you do.

“It wasn’t the kiss. I—“ 

“It’s okay, Y/N.”

You know him. 

“Chan, I really loved the kiss.”

Chan. Not Channie. 

He brushes his thumb over your lips. “It’s okay,” he repeats gently. “You don’t have to explain.”

His other hand comes up and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Your eyes slide shut at the sensation. 

Your bottom lip quivers and you pull it into your mouth and bite it. With a tight swallow, your throat bobs. 

“It happens sometimes,” you whisper. “It’s from the accident I had.”

Chan continues to soothingly rub your skin with his thumb. Slowly, he kneels down to be in front of you rather than leaning over. 

The dirt is cold on his knee. It seeps through the fabric of his pants. He couldn’t care less. 

“You don’t have to talk about it,” he whispers back to you. 

You shake your head gently, your hands folding in your lap. “No, no. I… I want to tell you. I need to tell you. It’s been happening more and more whenever I’m around you. It’s like every touch, every word you say bounces around my brain and makes me feel the worst case of deja vu.

“Every time I’m with you I feel like I’m trying to recall a dream I had last night but I just can’t remember what it was.”

You’re rambling. You only ramble when you’re overwhelmed and scared. 

“Chan, every time I’m with you it feels like some part of me is screaming to be let out.”

Your eyes open and you stare right through him. Chan feels his heart squeeze and almost stop completely. Despite your best efforts, the tears keep coming. 

“I was in a car accident a few months ago. I had such a severe concussion that I lost the last five years of my memory.” 

How is your voice so even?

Chan’s jaw clenches. Fuck fuck fuck. 

He knows. Yes, Y/N. He knows. Fuck, does he know! If anyone fucking knows, it’s him. 

“I—“ he starts but you cut him off. 

“Please,” you choke out and take a deep breath. “And since then I’ve been getting bits and pieces of my memory back. Sometimes they’re in large chunks, other times they just … come back.

“When I try to think about my life before the accident. There’s this… person there. Someone important. Someone so, so important that it physically hurts me to think about how I don’t know who it is. They’re a constant. And I love that they’re a constant.”

Your hand comes up to clutch at your jacket right over your chest. 

More tears come out of your eyes. The whites get more pink the more they flow. 

“But I know them. I do! I know them like I know the back of my hand. I-I know they love music. I know they take milk and sugar in their morning coffee. I know they don’t get enough sleep at night.”

Louder and louder your voice gets as you grow sadder and sadder. The sobs between thoughts wrack your chest. 

Him. You’re talking about him. 

Chan’s hands hold your face gently. His thumbs can’t keep up with how much you’re crying. 

Nothing has ever hurt this bad. 

You know him. You just don’t know it’s him. 

Nevertheless, you continue. “I remember that they have the most obnoxious phone alarm in the morning. I remember the passcode to their phone is 032518. I know that they have this one black sweatshirt that I love to steal even though it’s their favorite.”

Chan’s own eyes begin watering, he can’t stop it. You know him. You know him. You’ve remembered him this whole time and you didn’t even know it. 

You reach up and grab one of his hands and place it on your heart. Underneath your jacket, he can feel your heartbeat thudding violently against your chest. 

That same heartbeat he’s been dying to listen to while you play with his hair and tell him about your day. The heartbeat he would give anything to hear as he falls asleep. His throat gets tighter and tighter. 

“I’ve been surrounded by bits and pieces of a ghost and no one wants to help me. No one will tell me anything, and I’m so confused, Chan. I can tell that there’s something that everyone is avoiding telling me.”

A gust of wind picks up through the playground. It nips at his cheeks. It’s now he realizes how many tears are falling. 

A sob tears from his throat. 

You grip his hand tighter. 

“Tell me It’s you, Chan.” You’re begging. You’re actually begging while keeping his hand pressed against your heartbeat. 

“Tell me that you’re the person that I see in my dreams. Tell me you’re the one that loves when I draw hearts on the bathroom mirror after I shower. Please tell me that you’re the one that loves the smell of lemon cookies but can’t stand the taste.”

Oh, god, Y/N.

“Tell me that you’re the one that wanted to pick me up from the party that night but I said no.”

He breaks. 

He breaks right down in front of you. Every single ounce of self control leaves his body and he grabs you out of the swing, yanking you towards his body and holding you against his chest. The emotions that were being kept at bay come out like a raging storm. 

He falls backwards into the dirt, you come crashing into him. Your arms wrap around him at the same time he wraps around you. 

Chan buries his face in your neck, one hand on the back of your head and the other firmly around your waist. 

Wails leave his mouth as he holds you to him. They’re deep and come from the very depths of his soul. The wound that’s been open for months is bleeding.  

Every lonely night. Every dinner where he cooked for two instead of one by accident. Every long day he came back to an empty apartment. It’s all coming out. 

You’re crying just as hard as he is, both of your hands gripping the back of his hoodie like a lifeline. 

Your body in his arms is like a piece of a puzzle. Like he’s the dusty one sitting on his dining room table and you finally came in and finished it. 

Weeks and weeks of grief come crashing down on him. He can’t lie anymore. Not to you. Never to you. 

“It is me,” he cries into your neck, his hand running over the back of your head, feeling your hair slip through his fingers. It’s just like he remembers. “It’s all me, Y/N, It’s me.”

Your cries get louder, your body starts shaking in his arms. 

“I’ve missed you, Y/N,” he cries harder. “Fuck, I’ve missed you so much. I missed my girl. Oh my god, I’ve missed you.”

Chan can’t pull you close enough, he can’t get you close enough to his body. You shift around and press yourself into him. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry I didn’t pick you up that night. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m so sorry you got hurt.” 

Every ounce of grief is surfacing and clawing its way out of his throat. 

“I’m sorry I had to lie to you these last two weeks. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I was so broken without you. I broke the doctor’s orders. I needed to see you, Y/N.”

Despite how hard he has you gripped against him, you manage to pull away slightly. You sit up in his lap and look down at his red, tear soaked face. His eyes are puffy and his chest is sputtering with sobs. 

Both of your hands cup his cheeks and swipe away the tears the same way he did for you only a small bit ago. There’s a sad smile on your face. 

“Please don’t apologize, Channie, it’s okay. I forgive you.”

Channie. You called him Channie.

He cries harder and buries his face into your chest. Your arms immediately come around him and keep him there, fingers threading into his hair. 

You’re still crying. Both of you are. 

“I know you were just doing what you were told to,” you whisper into his hair. He can hear your voice reverberate in your chest. 

All he can do is cry. 

Months of build up led to this moment. Endless days of going through the motions just for the next to be as dull and tedious led to him falling into you in the middle of a playground at night. 

The only thing you do after that is hold him. You press kisses to the top of his head and whisper that you forgive him over and over. 

Each one adds a stitch to the wound, shutting it.

You’re finally in his arms. You’re finally back where you belong. 

“I missed you,” he says again, his cries dying down. He doesn't know what else to say. There's so much he wants to tell you, but everything dies on the tip of his tongue.

“I missed you too, Channie. My heart missed you so much.”

He sniffles and looks up at you. You pull your sweatshirt sleeve up and wipe away his stray tears gently. 

“Every day it just felt like something was missing. It was you. You were missing.”

Chan can’t find any words to say. He just stares at you. 

"I don't care how long it takes to remember, or even if I never do. I need you by my side for it, Chan."

His eyes sparkle at you for a moment but he leans up and captures your lips with his once more. It feels even better than the previous one.

The two of you relish in the contact, holding each other close and clinging to the closeness of it all.

It's taking everything within Chan not to start crying again. He's worried than any moment now, he'll wake up and this will all be some cruel dream.

But when you pull away from his lips, and he opens his eyes-- you're still there. You're still in his arms and smiling at him like you always did.

The burn is soothed.

“If you think about it,” you start with a tiny smile. “We’re lucky— in a way.”

His entire face screws up, even more confused. “Lucky?”

“How many people get to say they fell in love with the same person twice?”

Chan blinks twice before it feels like his entire body thaws. 

You and your glass half full attitude. He’ll never fucking get enough of it. 

His arms wrap around you again, bringing you down into his chest. You let out a breathy giggle 

“You’re never leaving my sight,” he breathes out. “Never again, baby, never.”

“I don’t ever want to, Channie. I never will.”

[lino-jagiyaa]

The Scars of Our Past

Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

Series masterlist | Ari’s masterlist

**We’re soooo close 😆 I am almost done with the last chapter 🫣 This one is a little more Ateez centered and I have a feeling the last chapter will be just as long as this one, but I hope you all enjoy it 🫶🏻💕 Please leave me any and all feedback and thank you for following this journey!**

Wolf shifter!Chan x OC witch!Aurelia; Wolf shifter!Minho, Druid emissary!Seungmin

(Featuring: Wolf shifter!Hongjoong, Mingi & Yunho, Black cat shifter!Seonghwa & San, Fox shifter!Yeosang & Wooyoung, Apprentice warlock!Jongho)

~Words: 6.1k

~Theme/au: non idol au, fantasy, supernatural themes, Skz and Ateez shifter!au, multi chapter, enemies to lovers, found family

~Warnings: mentions of injury

Taglist: @stellasays45 @palindrome969 @lino-jagiyaa @ayejaii @skzhoes @euphoriayongbok @sebastianswhore13

The shadow.

Even after ten years, the shadow of that ugly castle still plagued Chan’s memories, a chill running up his spine as their journey around the mountain ended near the setting of the sun, casting the castle’s shadow far across the town of Rohpau.

His scent disturbed Minho, the younger wolf’s hand coming up to grip Chan’s shoulder in support.

“Are you alright, hyung?”

Seungmin also looked at Chan worriedly, standing on his other side. Both of them knew Chan well, and they could tell he was not at all happy about being in this town.

“I’m fine.” Chan said lowly, neither of them really believing him, but not pressing him farther which he appreciated.

“This way, there’s somewhere we may be able to stay tonight without tipping off the warlock that there are shifters in his town.”

They followed him along the edge of the town, ducking between buildings and into alleyways until Chan stopped at a door on the back of a small cottage jammed between two larger buildings.

The scent coming from the door was the same as Chan remembered, sending him reeling into his childhood where he stood alone and terrified on this very doorstep. Now he stood with his brothers, anger and desperation filling him this time as he raised his hand to knock.

After a few moments of silence, and the occasional shuffling, the door before them opened to reveal a stooped old woman with eyes harder than flint, but a caring and warm aura. She observed the three shifters on her doorstep, her eyes widening when she looked up at Chan.

“Hello, halmeoni.”

Chan spoke softly, slightly afraid that she would be unhappy to see him.

A moment passed before the woman stepped forward and drew a startled Chan into a tight hug. He froze before laughing lightly and hugging the old woman back.

Fond tears brimmed in the woman’s eyes as she stepped back, looking Chan over with so much grandmotherly love that Minho and Seungmin had to hide their grins as Chan’s ears flattened in slight embarrassment.

“Hello, Chan. It is so good to see you again, you’ve grown into a remarkable young man.”

She ushered them into her home, Chan introducing them and then introducing her as Choi Minju, the woman that housed him after he had escaped from the castle. Minho and Seungmin looked at her in surprise, having never heard about her before from the times Chan had talked about his past.

“It made me feel guilty to talk about her,” Chan mumbled, “I was always too much of a coward to come back to Rohpau, but I still felt bad about leaving you behind, halmeoni.”

Minju shook her head sternly at him.

“Nonsense, Chan, I live here, you were a prisoner. Of course I would not expect you to return here only to wish me well, silly boy. I am interested, however, in the circumstances that bring you back to my doorstep now.”

Minho and Seungmin looked at Chan as he took a deep breath.

“What news do you have about the castle? Has the warlock who lives there returned?”

The old woman nodded, her eyebrow still arched in question. “He returned yesterday, all up in a storm about ‘finding his lost treasure’.”

Chan bared his teeth angrily, Minho’s ears pinned to his head in anger as well.

“His lost treasure?” Chan seethed, “I think he means the woman he kept prisoner for years along side the pack of shifters he has under his control.”

Minju nodded at them solemnly, turning to sit heavily in her chair, motioning them to sit around the table before her as well. They all sat down as the old woman seemed to be gathering her thoughts.

Minju looked at him seriously then, leaning forward as she asked,

“What all do you know of the castle’s mistress?”

“We know that she was sold to the warlock as a young girl,” Minho said from behind Chan. “She told us very little of the actual horrors that she faced, but we know he forced her to marry him once she turned seventeen. The shifters there helped her escape.”

She listened to Minho carefully before turning back to Chan, still looking at him questioningly. He returned her gaze steadily for a moment before he sighed.

“What he says is true. We discovered her hiding in our territory when she rescued two of my pack from hunters. We discovered a common past and she has befriended us all.”

Seungmin and Minho nodded in agreement, Minju still gazing at them all as if she were piecing together a mystery.

“I have a question though, halmeoni,” Chan said. “How long after I escaped did this warlock move into the castle? It had to have been fairly quick.”

Minju looked at Chan strangely then, realizing her confusion in the situation lay in the fact that he hadn’t put the pieces of his and Aurelia’s ‘common past’ together yet.

“Chan…what do you mean? The warlock has always lived in the castle, even before you were brought here. Do you not remember him?”

Chan’s brow was furrowed in immense confusion before his memories hit him like a boulder. His breath stopped at the realization that the warlock he’d occasionally seen around his mistress had been the warlock that tormented Aurelia her entire life. Their pasts were so similar and intertwined that they were practically mirrored. Their pain and nightmares came from within the same walls, and Chan felt himself on the edge of tears with no way to stop or explain them.

Minho gripped his shoulder in support, but also to ground himself as he and Seungmin reached the same conclusion, the mix of shock, disbelief, and sadness swirling through them both for their leader.

Another realization hit Chan, but this one seemed to calm everything in him like a ripple on perfectly stilled water. He looked back up at Minju, sympathy in her eyes that changed when she saw the clarity in Chan’s.

“That means…the shifters who helped her escape and the shifters that helped me escape, are the same? Are Hongjoong and Seonghwa really still in there?”

Minju nodded her head solemnly again at Chan’s disbelieving tone. He slumped back in his chair, an ache forming in his heart at the thought of them being trapped here for so long, helping her and Chan escape years apart, and still being enslaved to the warlock. Though he had never really spoke of them, his memories of a young Seonghwa and Hongjoong were always fond, if not a little sad.

“Not long after you left, boy, the rest of their pack attempted to rescue them from the castle.” Minju folded her hands in front of her. “It didn’t end well for them, and the warlock used the power his rage granted him to enslave them all, his anger over the death of your mistress fueling him to terrifying feats of willpower over others.”

A shiver ran down all three of their spines, the thought of the warlock’s reign of terror over the shifters for years making Minho and Seungmin sick. Chan felt himself growing more angry at the thought that his actions had led to the warlock’s ability to capture them all, but he also had a strange relief knowing Aurelia had been reunited with them. Perhaps they would find a way to help each other escape again.

Perhaps…

Chan shot up straight suddenly, startling Seungmin.

“Is it possible for you to get information from inside the castle, halmeoni?”

Minju looked surprised at Chan’s outburst, but she put her finger to her chin in thought at his question.

“There may be someone who could help. I must be careful of who I ask questions to, there are many who spy for the warlock, but if I can get a message to one of the shifters, they are all loyal to each other and would relay it to Hongjoong.”

“If I’m right,” Chan said, nodding at her thoughtfully, “they will already be working on their escape. The warlock wouldn’t let her die, and I know she is more powerful than she’s revealed to us before. With the help of the other’s imprisoned there, I have a strong feeling they have already put their plan into motion. We just need them to know they have allies on the outside as well.”

Seungmin and Minho grinned at each other with Chan’s words, nodding encouragingly at him. Minju watched them all with a fond shrewdness, feeling the tides of change approach the miserable town of Rohpau, and she couldn’t wait to help them all to sweep away the darkness that lingered here.

****

And right Chan was, Aurelia’s plan for them all to break free from the warlock’s control was already underway by the time he arrived in Rohpau.

Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Yeosang had sat with her and discussed the beginnings of their plan after they were reunited. Their story was straight by the time they heard the warlock returning, Hongjoong having just enough time to slip from the room and hide in the hall before being seen.

Aurelia laid back into the bed, Seonghwa arranging her arm so her bandages were visible. She took several deep breaths and began to sink into her magic, preparing to slowly cast the largest combination of spells she’s ever attempted. Just as her eyes started to close, Seonghwa appeared in her sight, assuring her quietly.

“Master’s magic has grown exceedingly weak over the years, he is training Jongho to follow his legacy, but Jongho is loyal to us so have no fear of him, little bird. He is the same little boy you knew on the inside.”

She squeezed his hand in reassurance as she slipped into a half dream-like state, her magic gathering to extend beyond her and leaving her body in a meditative sleep. She seemed still aware of her surroundings, but it was through a fog, and to the outside it looked as though she were unconscious.

Just as Seonghwa and Yeosang stepped to the side of the room, the door swung open. They bowed their heads quickly as their master entered with the air of a rotting corpse, his aura black around him and his eyes stormy with anger at the sight that greeted him. Jongho followed behind him, his head bowed respectfully, but Seonghwa caught the relief in his scent when he realized she was not awake.

“What is this? Explain, Seonghwa.”

The warlock didn’t look at him, just addressing him harshly. Seonghwa purposely kept his answer soft, knowing it would anger the warlock the least, making it easier for Seonghwa to lie.

“We did as ordered, master. She has been cleaned, bandaged, and given a fresh gown. We had not alerted you otherwise as she hasn’t woken yet and we did not wish to waste master’s precious time.”

Jongho’s face again gave no sign of change, his scent only giving away his amusement to the shifters in, and outside, the room. With the door open, Mingi and Yunho had to stifle their grins as they listened in, trying not to laugh at Seonghwa’s mockery.

The warlock, ever oblivious to the shifter’s distaste for him, simply kept scowling at Aurelia’s unmoving form. The amusement dropped and the shifters all tensed as they felt his dark magic move towards her.

Jongho raised his hand almost unnoticeably to stop them from attempting to protect her. He was watching Aurelia closely, her aura completely unfazed as the warlock attempted to access her mind, her resistance to his necromancy reminding Jongho of a wolf trying to pry open a rock.

The look he gave to Seonghwa had them all relaxing, his eyes showing that he had complete confidence in her abilities. Jongho knew Hongjoong had been there, he was sure they had already formed a plan with her as their spearhead. And now that he could see her magic up close…he was in awe. She was definitely no longer the timid witch who had first shown him magic, excitement buzzing in Jongho at thought of seeing the full scope of her power.

They all focused again as the warlock growled with frustration and anger, his magic retracting from her and swirling around him darkly.

“Jongho, do something.”

Jongho bowed slightly with a quiet, “yes, master.” Approaching Aurelia slightly, he reached toward her aura with his magic, having much to the same affect as the warlock’s attempt.

“I’m sorry, master, it seems I am not adept enough at mind magic quite yet.”

“Tsk, useless.” The warlock turned and began pacing in short steps, his hand on his chin as he thought about what he could possibly do to wake her.

Jongho moved to retract his magic, Aurelia sensing the master’s distraction and using it to gently tug Jongho’s aura in acknowledgment. The young warlock’s eyes snapped to her, a warm feeling spreading through him at the playful trick she used to pull when teaching him to control his aura. The shifters smiled to themselves at the happy change in Jongho’s scent, glad they had slight proof that she wasn’t completely asleep.

Before the warlock could end his pacing and come to a decision, a flustered Wooyoung ran up the stairs and down the hall towards them.

“Master! I have a message for you!”

The entire room turned to Wooyoung as he stopped before Mingi and Yunho, still huffing dramatically, causing the twin giants to roll their eyes at the fox.

The warlock also rolled his eyes at Wooyoung, walking forward to snatch the scroll from the fox’s hands.

“Be quiet, Wooyoung.”

Wooyoung cowered behind Mingi slightly at the warlock’s angry tone, all of them waiting in silence as he read through the message. He stood in contemplation for a moment before whipping around and pointing at the shifters again.

“I have been summoned by Lord Seokjin to attend an auction he wishes to host. My orders still stand while I am absent, as always, but this time there are a few changes.”

The shifters all moved reluctantly to stand before him, ready to receive their tasks, as they had been trained to over the years.

“Seonghwa, you will keep watch over my wife. Do not let her waste away there, but no one else will be allowed into this room. If she wakes, she is not to leave this room until I return.”

Seonghwa bowed. “Yes, master. I will inform you by letter the moment she wakes.”

“You two,” the warlock motioned at Yunho and Mingi, “no one other than Seonghwa is allowed to enter. You know what you have to do otherwise. Rotate who is guarding, I want one of you here at all times.”

The two bowed in acknowledgment, the warlock turning to Jongho last.

“The rest will follow your normal duties as you were trained while I am away. Jongho, you are coming with me, take Wooyoung and prepare our things.”

Jongho and Wooyoung bowed before turning to retreat down the stairs again. Yeosang stepped forward, bowing before addressing the warlock.

“Master, is it possible for me to be granted a short trip into the town? I would like to replenish some medical supplies.”

Waving his hand dismissively, the warlock turned to descend the stairs.

“Yes, yes, get what you need, you already know the rules.”

Yeosang sneered at him as he disappeared, a few beats of silence holding among the four that remained before a shadow emerged from behind another column. Hongjoong ambled up to them with a smirk on his face.

“I have to hand it to Woo for his acting, he played off the message better than I had hoped.”

The others all chuckled at him lowly, Mingi moving to shut the door to her room as they gathered around Hongjoong.

“Nice work getting him to let you leave the castle, Yeo. Now, if you can find Minju while you’re at the market, she may know something about Chan.”

Seonghwa patted Yeosang’s head gently, the fox’s tail swaying lightly behind him.

“Master’s going to be so mad,” Mingi giggled.

“I know,” Hongjoong mused. “I would love to be a fly on the wall while he tries to explain to Lord Seokjin why he showed up to his home with a fake invitation.”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes playfully at them as they laughed quietly, astonished every time that they were all imprisoned by a man who was so incredibly easy to manipulate.

“It’s a three day journey to the lord’s estate,” Hongjoong continued quietly, “but they aren’t leaving until tomorrow, plus the one very embarrassing day they will most likely spend in the estate, and the three days back gives us about a week of uninterrupted time. Think that will be enough for her to cast all of her spells?”

Seonghwa shrugged as they all looked at him hopefully, “I suppose we’ll find out.”

****

Aurelia was astonished.

The warlock and Jongho had departed with a small company of guards and servants shortly after sunrise the next morning, Yeosang seeing them off as he left for the town’s market.

In that short time, she had searched every room, hallway, nook, and cranny of the castle with her magic. The terror she’d felt as a child from the stench of death and decay greatly lessened as she realized her weakened state as a child was the only reason she had ever been afraid of him.

Once they were beyond the town, she sank deeper into her magic, pulling inspiration from the very forests she grew up in. Unseen to anyone, roots of her magic began to grow outward from the room she lay in, creeping between every stone, intertwining into the wood of the structure itself like the trees they were cut from.

The hair rose on Yunho’s neck at the feeling where he stood at the door, intimidated by the strength of it, rather than actually scared. Still he couldn’t see her magic, but as it inched past him into the walls of the castle, she could sense the collar that controlled him. Gently her magic brushed over it, trying to determine if it could be affected by the same spell that she would use to destroy the castle.

Yunho’s head turned at the gentle touch, feeling as though she were standing next to him for a moment. She determined she would need a more in depth approach to free them from the collars, and her magic resumed it’s path into the castle, brushing by Yunho with an affectionate aura as it went. He smiled at the scent of her fondness before it disappeared, more resolute to guard her from anything unexpected.

The others all tried to go about their day as if it were the same as any other time the master had left the castle.

Yeosang made it to the market in the town just as all of the stalls were beginning to open. The rules embedded into the spell on his collar forbade him from speaking to anyone unless it was to ask questions about the items he needed or respond to their business questions. He’d had a lot of practice figuring out what he could and couldn’t say, the people at the market kindly helping him communicate if the collar wouldn’t allow him to.

He waved at several of the vendors that called out to him as he walked by, searching through the small crowds for the familiar stooped figure. Yeosang neared the usual stand she used, relieved to see the old woman whispering conspiratorially to the owner of the medicinal herb stall. Their heads were close together and Yeosang had a small smile as he approached them unnoticed.

Both of them jumped slightly when they finally saw him standing there.

“Aisshh, boy! Don’t sneak up on your elders like that.”

Yeosang bowed with a grin, holding his hands in apology despite the mirth in his eyes.

Minju realized then who he was, surprised by her luck at finding one of the very shifter’s she was hoping to reach.

“Hello, Yesoon-ajumma, apologies for scaring you. May I purchase some herbs?”

“Of course you can, Yeosang, just don’t sneak next time and you are forgiven.”

Yesoon turned to gather the usual order of supplies for Yeosang as he turned and bowed to Minju.

“Hello, Minju-ajumma.”

Both women knew he could say no more than that to her unless she had business for him. Minju was glad she had run into him, though, knowing Chan and his companions had followed her to the market despite her warnings. This gave her the perfect chance to set up a deal of her own.

“Hello, Yeosang, it’s wonderful to see you actually. I was hoping to convince you of a possible business deal.”

Yeosang’s ears twitched at the framing of her words, a small smirk on his face at the woman’s clever way around his collar’s control.

“I am always open to listen to a possible deal, ajumma.”

“Come sit with me over here while your supplies are being gathered, it won’t take long.”

Yeosang followed her over to a bench nearby, tensing the moment he sat as he felt two…no three pairs of eyes on him. Turning his head slowly, he saw three figures gazing at him from where they hid, two of them locking eyes with him and then reaching up to remove their hoods, revealing their wolf’s ears.

His eyes widened and he turned back to see Minju watching the exchange.

“My business involves three merchants that recently contacted me about wares that lay locked within the castle. Is there already a plan in place to acquire these wares?”

Yeosang could hug her for practically reading his mind on the real reason he came to the market. He grasped her hand as he glanced back at the shifters in the alley.

“There is indeed a plan in place, and with the departure of the master, a window of opportunity has opened for you to acquire it.”

Chan and Minho smiled at that from where they listened, Minho turning to whisper it to Seungmin.

Minju nodded with a small smile as well.

“Then our business is concluded for now. Just know that there are interested parties within the town, and they are very eager to assist with moving said wares.”

Yeosang nodded and shook her hand more decisively, turning to see the three in the alley again. He focused his senses on the third, the scent of the other two giving them away as shifters. The third one was strange, Yeosang had only ever encountered something like his scent when Aurelia had returned to the castle.

‘Oh…of course. Magic.’

Perfect. One with magic would mean he may be able to help Aurelia from the outside. With all of the information he had, Yeosang nodded to Chan and the others before turning to bow at Minju.

“Thank you for this offer, ajumma. I will surely pass the word along to those who would be interested in carrying out the deal.”

Minju patted his head as he stood, gathering and paying for the supplies that Yesoon had packaged for him, waving at them as he returned to the castle.

She walked over to the alley where Chan hid, the boys looking at her sheepishly.

“I won’t scold you for following me, it’s luck that he saw you and can now pass the message to Hongjoong”

Chan nodded, the three of them pulling their hoods back up and returning to her cottage with her, the only thing left to do was to wait for a sign from the castle.

****

The first night, Seonghwa tossed and turned in his sleep, the feeling of being wrapped in something warm finally settling him into a dream.

He opened his eyes, blinking at the sunlight streaking through the leaves above his head. He was laying on the grass at the base of a huge tree, it’s massive roots twisting and curling through the ground around him, joining in intricate patterns before spiraling up into the canopy to support it’s heavy branches.

‘Wow. I wish I had more dreams like this,’ he thought.

‘That would be the ideal way to dream, wouldn’t it?’

Seonghwa looked into the branches above him at the voice. A woman sat with her legs hanging crossed over one of the limbs, her smile radiating warmth.

‘Aurelia…’

In the blink on an eye she was sitting next to him, the smile still on her face as he sat up across from her.

‘Is this really a dream? Or is this magic?’

‘A little of both, Hwa. I can only do so many spells at once, and mind magic is easier when people are asleep.’

‘What spell are you casting on us?’

‘Not on you, I’m just using your dreams as a path to unravel the enchantments woven into your collars. I want you all to be free from his influence before he returns.’

Seonghwa was impressed, the vividness of the dream and the warmth he could feel from her magic acting as a testament to the strength she had gained over the years. He felt pride swell in his chest, indescribably happy about who she had become in the face of adversity. Scooting closer to her, he wrapped her in a side hug that she readily returned.

‘I’m so happy you have come back to us, little bird. I feel we’re putting too much pressure on you but I know you’ll say this is your choice.’

She nodded, hugging him tighter.

‘I was the only one allowed to move on with my life, Hwa. That never sat right with me, and now that I can make everything right, I want to grant you all the chance to move on that you gave me.’

‘You deserve every happiness that you found outside these walls, Aurelia. We already told you that you had nothing to regret. But now, know we all believe in your strength and will protect you until your spell is done.’

Seonghwa smiled cheekily then.

‘And know that when the time comes to escape this place, the happiness you found is waiting to take you home.’

Aurelia looked at him in shock when she realized the implication behind his words.

‘Chan? He’s in Rohpau?’

‘Yes,’ Seonghwa nodded, smiling at the happy blush that dusted her cheeks. ‘Yeosang saw him and two others at the market today. Another shifter like Chan, and one that he said smelled of magic similar to yours.’

Aurelia was slightly alarmed that Chan would bring Seungmin, but that gave her the idea that she may be able to connect with him somehow.

‘That’s good to know,’ she said with a smile. ‘With all of the pieces in place, now all I ask is for everyone’s patience as I weave the spells. Keep your eyes open for the signs that will begin to show for you and the others. Once I visit them all, your collars will be ineffective and after that I will be able to dismantle his control over this town once and for all.’

Seonghwa admired her determination, hugging her again as he felt his eyes droop with weariness.

‘Lay back down, Hwa, I’m almost done with the magic on your collar. I want to visit Hongjoong tonight as well before I can rest until tomorrow.’

Seonghwa nodded, doing as she said while closing his eyes with a sigh.

‘I will see you in the morning, little bird, even if you will be in a magic sleep.’

Aurelia laughed at him, petting his head softly as he drifted back into darkness, her whisper the last thing he heard.

‘Goodnight, Hwa.’

****

The next morning did indeed bear the signs that Aurelia had spoken of.

Seonghwa approached the room she lay in, Mingi on guard this time, and almost dropped everything in his hands at the sight of tree roots spreading outward from the door. His eyes followed them as they wove through the stone of the walls around him, traveling up into the ceiling, and down through the floor into the castle below.

The shock on his face was so evident that Mingi stepped forward with concern.

“What’s wrong, hyung? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Seonghwa looked around confused for a moment more before asking,

“Does this hallway look normal to you, Mingi?”

Now Mingi looked confused, turning to look all around before shrugging at Seonghwa.

“Yeah? Just the same as it was yesterday.”

“…okay. Never mind, I guess my eyes are playing tricks on me.”

He hurried past Mingi, the wolf just shaking his head at Seonghwa’s antics. Inside the room was the same, roots covering the walls and growing from around the bed with her at it’s heart. Seonghwa shook his head as he approached her bedside.

“You could’ve warned me about what the signs were, you know. I almost had a heart attack just now.”

The slight scent of her amusement had his tail flicking in annoyance, her face unchanged in her sleep though he still felt like she was laughing at him. She responded to his soft commands to eat and drink, so he fed her and made his way from the room.

As he descended the stairs he noticed the roots following the same route. They were sluggishly moving along the wall, forcing their way through cracks and weaving over beams. He trailed after them slowly as he watched, not noticing that he was being watched as well.

Seonghwa jumped when Hongjoong grabbed his shoulder, hoping he hadn’t seen him staring at the invisible roots. The look on his face convinced Seonghwa otherwise.

“You can see them too?”

He nodded at Hongjoong’s hushed question, remembering that she’d said she would visit Hongjoong as well.

“We both dreamt of her last night, she was using our dreams to access the magic in the collars. The others will hopefully be able to see them as she breaks each spell.”

Hongjoong visibly relaxed at his words, he’d dreamt of her but she hadn’t been able to speak to him as clearly as Seonghwa.

They looked around at the creeping roots, the movement still steadily consuming the castle.

“This is going to be huge, isn’t it?” Seonghwa asked quietly.

“She told us that she’d learned even the darkest magic bends to the will of nature. She means to tear this castle apart stone by stone with forest magic, literally breaking his control over us, the castle, and the town.”

“Good.”

They shared a look of agreement, their anticipation building as their freedom came ever closer.

The day after, Seonghwa returned to her room to care for her, where he found Yunho staring around him with wide eyes, confusion on his face. He looked over as Seonghwa approached.

“Hyung, this is gonna sound like a weird question, but can you see the roots that are all over the walls?”

He wanted to tease him, but the laugh Seonghwa released gave him away. He wiped his eye in faux amusement before he patted Yunho on the shoulder comfortingly.

“Yes, I can see them Yunho. Hongjoong and I could see them yesterday. I also have a strange question, did you have a dream last night were you met Aurelia under a giant tree?”

Yunho nodded with wide eyes, confused for moment until it clicked. His face lit up, and Seonghwa couldn’t help chuckling at him again.

“Ohhh, it was Aurelia-noona’s magic, not just a dream. And the roots are too?”

“Yes, and she broke the spell on your collar, Yunho.”

Seonghwa smiled softly as Yunho brushed his hand over the collar on his neck, realizing Seonghwa was right, the magic aura of the collar was gone.

“Leave it on for now, we don’t want to alert someone that might inform master.”

Yunho nodded in understanding.

“You should talk to Mingi too, hyung. He had a similar dream and he might be freaked out if he sees the roots.”

“I will, I’m sure I’ll find him after I take care of Aurelia. Or he’ll find me.”

They laughed together lightly before Seonghwa moved to take care of her, and then locate and take care of Mingi.

Their suspicion was accurate about Mingi being scared of the roots, Seonghwa and Hongjoong finding him sitting unnaturally straight in a chair near a group of creeping roots, looking as though it was taking everything in him not to look at them.

The rest of their pack was sitting around in the same room, minus Yunho who was on guard duty and Jongho of course, so Hongjoong stepped forward to address the creeping issue.

“Listen, you all know we made a plan with Aurelia to get out of the castle. Part of that plan includes breaking us all free from our collars.”

The others nodded, moving to sit and listen more intently.

“In order for her to break the collars, she has to visit us in a dream, using that as a way into the fabric of the spells. Seonghwa, myself, Yunho, and Mingi have all had this dream already.”

That shocked them all, Mingi the most as he stared at Hongjoong like he’d grown a second head.

“How did you know that, hyung?”

“Because now you can see her other spells, Mingi-ah. Like the roots growing through the hallway and into this room right now.”

Wooyoung and San looked startled, searching around frantically and uselessly, Yeosang understanding what they were saying. Even though he couldn’t see them yet, Yeosang’s sharp senses could tell that Aurelia’s magic was filling the castle, the feeling growing more dense since the day before.

Mingi looked relieved, slumping into the chair more as he realized he wasn’t crazy or the only one who could see the vines. Yunho had said they’d had the same dream, but Mingi couldn’t be sure.

“That’s a relief, I thought I was going crazy.”

“Not yet, Mingi, but don’t get your hopes too high.”

Wooyoung’s quick wit had Mingi jumping after him as they wrestled across the floor.

The tension dissipated and Seonghwa rolled his eyes. San and Yeosang approached them, San’s tail flicking playfully as he watched Wooyoung and Mingi.

“So we just have to wait to have the same dream? What happens after that?”

Yeosang asked Hongjoong, his brow quirked in question.

“After that, she said once the roots have spread over the entire castle, the spell will be fully cast and we won’t be able to miss when that time comes. When it does, we’ll all need to be ready to get out into the town. If we have to scatter, we’ll all meet at Minju’s cottage, Chan and his pack will be there to help us anyway.”

They all nodded, more anticipation building in them as they drew that much closer to escaping.

By the next two nights, all three of the remaining shifters had had their dream.

The collars were all broken and Aurelia felt massive relief at that knowledge. Even if the spell on the castle wasn’t entirely completed, it would still do enough damage to allow them to escape, and now that their collars were no longer an obstacle she could focus all of her energy on that.

After visiting Yeosang’s dream and breaking his collar, Aurelia couldn’t help but wonder if she could connect with Seungmin before she rested for the night. Reaching out from where the roots were thickest on the castle stone, she searched the town as far as she could. Luckily, Seungmin had been waiting for her, watching for her aura from near the castle ever since they had seen Yeosang.

He jumped slightly where he sat next to Chan, his eyes glowing brighter suddenly as he felt her magic. The two shifter’s watched Seungmin intensely as he whispered,

“I found her.”

Seungmin’s eyes slipped shut as he saw her before him, an apology in his mind that she silenced quickly, her forehead touching his as he heard her voice.

‘Don’t you dare apologize. Don’t let Chan or Minho either, this was meant to happen. They are all free of their collars, soon the castle will fall. Be ready.’

With that the feeling of her magic retreated, Seungmin opening his eyes with a shaky breath.

Chan and Minho still watched him intensely, leaning towards him as he looked up.

“What did she say?”

Seungmin huffed and shook his head in disbelief with a small smile.

“She’s scary strong, hyung. All of the shifters are free, and soon the castle will be destroyed. We have to be ready for them to escape.”

They all smiled then, Chan standing with determination.

“We’ll be ready.”

****

[lino-jagiyaa]

a reminder (this is in my pinned post)

[lino-jagiyaa]

HALP