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Reservoir Dogs (1992) - Movie Review / Fancast

I watched Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs for the first time tonight. (By the time I finished this, it is actually DAYS later) Remember all of the things stated in this review are my PERSONAL opinion.

Let's talk about Reservoir Dogs, because I enjoyed this film much more than I thought I would.

So, being completely transparent, I accidentally spoiled myself ten minutes in when I went to search which color Tim Roth was playing. Regardless, I enjoyed the film.

I thought the latter half of the movie was more entertaining, with the inclusion of Joe and Eddie and the more in-depth looks into White, Blonde, and Orange.

I'm not very good at serious movie reviews and don't take movies all that seriously anyways, so I am comfortable admitting that Mr. Orange was a big selling point for me. I very much enjoyed the close-up of him smirking. It really felt like a tragic love story at some parts, I was rooting for Orange and Mr. White.

Now on to the more entertaining part, let's recast. Pictures at the end.

We'll start with Mr. White. Originally played by Harvey Keitel, I think Jason Bateman would be an exceptional recast. He does serious, as Ozark proves, he does comedically dramatic, he is dilf material, and I don't think they look UNALIKE... there are some similarities that caught my eye. Honorable mention goes to a man of the same name, Mr. White, Bryan Cranston.

Mr. Pink feels like a no-brainer. Originally played by Steve Buscemi, who else other than Bill Skarsgard. Mr. Pink is slimy and he has awful posture and, for some reason, that reminded me of the very handsome Bill Skarsgard. He will never escape the typecast. For as long as I can remember, Roman Godfrey to Pennywise to that dude in Barbarian... they're all shady as fuck.

You know who else is shady as fuck? Mr. Blonde. Michael Madsen is the original Mr. Blonde and he brings such a specific energy to Blonde. I found it hard to find a good match. Looks-wise, Richard Madden. Though, in general, I think Vincent Cassel would be a very creepy, very sexy Blonde and if you've seen that scene in Ocean's Twelve, you'd know the "Stuck In The Middle With You" scene is in good hands.

I reluctantly add this next one. "Nice Guy" Eddie, played by Chris Penn, is being recast to probably my least favorite actor of all time, Jonah Hill. Fuck, it just works so well.

You know that cop, Martin whatever? Yeah, he's now Rami Malek. This is payback for being in Amsterdam.

Tim Roth, the reason I knew the plot of the entire movie before watching it, I fucking love your face man. Mr. Orange is now fan-cast as Andy Bean. Completely self-indulgent. Though, past Gee apparently thought Joesph Gorden-Levitt was a good contender because his name is very bold in my notes. Also, self-indulgent.

Randy Brook's Holdaway would be brilliantly played by Brian Tyree Henry. If you've seen Bullet Train, he is fucking incredible.

For Joe, originally played by Lawernce Tierney, I give thee Brian Cox of the Logan Roy variety. Or Vincent D'Onofrio of the Marvel supervillain variety.

Moving on to Mr. Brown, I could not decide. Give my dude Jake Sim a couple of years and he's perfect. I also have Michael C. Hall, Matt Berry, and Mark Sheppard. I don't guess it really matters as long as they can deliver an entire speech about Madonna's Like A Virgin and make it as disgusting as possible.

Before researching, I had wanted Edward Bunker's Mr. Blue to be Danny Trejo. Here's a fact I learned while researching for this review, Bunker and Trejo actually served jail time together. Small world. Oh, and Bob Odenkirk was the runner-up for Mr. Blue. I love that man.

Shit, I think that's it. Now I have to go make a collage of all these actors.

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5 Seconds of Summer - 5SOS5 Album Review

Before we begin, I would like to make it very clear that I am not a professional critic. I judge completely based on the vibes and it's all about my PERSONAL tastes.

Now, let's talk about 5SOS5 because I absolutely adore this album!

I have been a 5 Seconds of Summer fan for many YEARS now. I'm less of a fan of their first two albums (though there are some bangers) and more of a Youngblood and CALM stan. So, when this album came out, I was definitely surprised. It was very different from the last two albums.

First, we'll look at my rating from when the album first came out, back in September of 2022.

Bad Omens

Flatline

BLENDER

Easy For You To Say

Take My Hand (Joshua Tree Version)

You Don't Go To Parties

HAZE

Caramel

Red Line

Bloodhound

Me, Myself, and I

Bleach

CAROUSEL

TEARS!

COMPLETE MESS

Moodswings

Older

Best Friends

Emotions

It has definitely changed since that ranking, so let's check out my rating as of January 2023.

Bleach (+11)

Bad Omens (-1)

Moodswings (+13)

You Don't Go To Parties (+2)

Red Line (+4)

Take My Hand (Joshua Tree Version) (-1)

BLENDER (-4)

Flatline (-6)

CAROUSEL (+4)

Easy For You To Say (-6)

Caramel (-3)

Me, Myself, and I (-1)

Bloodhound (-3)

TEARS!

Older (+4)

Best Friends (+3)

COMPLETE MESS (-2)

HAZE (-11)

Emotions

I initially didn't like this album all that much, as I was comparing it to the last two albums. They really aren't comparable, as the style is much different. I think it's a fantastic album, the great songs are great and some of the forgettable songs still aren't awful.

Let's Talk About My Favorite - As shown in the September review, Bad Omens was my favorite song. The album was released the day after their ONO show at the Royal Albert Hall, where they performed some of the songs early. Bad Omens performed live, with the orchestra in the background, was fucking LIFE CHANGING. Now, I am a major Bleach fan. It's heartwrenching and the lyrics are some of the best lyrics I've seen from them.

Let's Talk About My Least Favorite - I don't have much to say about Emotions. It just isn't my style and I don't find the lyrics to be partially interesting. It just kind of feels shallow, like a TikTok celebrity wrote it.