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4. Saying goodbye to my fur baby.

So this is about my fur baby - Nala our bengal cat. Almost 2 years ago Brenden and i decided we wanted to get a cat, more me than him as usual. Anyway i have wanted a cat for pretty much my whole life and never was aloud to have one, but finally i got one.

We got her at about 6 weeks old and named her nala, she was so tiny and cute and i was just smitten with her, we grew a nice bond with her and she became a family member very quickly. BUT as nala got older she started acting out at times, playing rough with us (probably our fault), she became very vocal etc. Anyway the worst habit she developed was PISSING ON OUR LOUNGE! She did it once, we cleaned it, she did it again, we cleaned it, she did it again, we cleaned it. This became her new thing, so we started putting covers on the lounge, mattress protectors everything we could think of, that didn’t stop her either! We ended up throwing out 2 lounges :( We then purchased a new lounge where all the covers could be removed and washed, and we purchased plastic containers to leave on the lounge whenever we weren’t in the room ( such a pain ) but it seemed to work, and she couldn’t pee on the lounge anymore! success right? WRONG! We had to make sure we never ever left that lounge without those containers or she would pee on it again! And a few times we did forget and she did it!  I kept telling myself no big deal, we can wash it, its our fault for forgetting the containers blah blah blah.. To this day we still have had containers on our lounge to stop her.

So the next thing was Sophie coming along, we were lucky nala wasn’t interested in her at first, she ran every time Sophie made a noise so we were happy with her keeping away from the baby and she kept away from her until about a month ago, she started getting more confident around her, climbing on all her stuff, going in her room, jumping over her! Long story short i was just becoming very cranky towards Nala and constantly telling her to get out or get of or go away and i was developing a hate towards her. So today i made the decision that we need to re - home her, at first i was like ill just post her on the internet, see if anyone is interested, probably won’t happen we are stuck with this cat forever. I got a response from a guy in Bondi but i didn’t feel he was the right person for Nala, i then got a response from a lady not far from me who was interested in her, she has 2 other cats both males and for some reason i just felt like this lady was the person, she was going to be Nala’s new mum. So we went back and forth in messages finding out about each other and talking about Nala all day, she then said she could come take her today. TODAY! :( I never thought from posting her up earlier that day that i would of been saying goodbye to her that afternoon. So of she went to her new home with her new family, i felt and still feel confident she is safe and will be loved and well looked after but i just feel sadness. I haven’t cried about it yet but i am sure it’s building, every now and then i look around, realise she’s gone and i feel my eyes fill with water but i stop myself and just think how much happier she will be. But then i find myself thinking, was i to soon to just get rid of her, should of tried to make more time for her, should of thought about getting another cat to entertain her, all these things run through my mind and make me feel worse and sadder, but in writing this i know now there is nothing else that i could of done other than kept her locked up in this little house we have with no attention and only to be constantly yelled at for doing things she shouldn’t be. I loved my fur baby and i still do love her and i pray to god that she will settle into her new home and become much happier and live her life to the fullest. Animals are not just animals, they become family members who you love just as much as you love your human family. I will miss my Nala girl.

Lisa xx

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3. Our first month with Sophie

So here we are, at home. The first 2 weeks at home with Sophie were hard just like taking home any newborn baby i guess especially the first baby so there was always going to be an adjustment period. Although it was hard, and waking up every 3-4hrs was a killer, She was a pretty good, content baby, she just slept, slept and slept. We had some days and nights that were harder than others and there were certainly some tears and tantrums involved from me that is. I started thinking for sure by 6 weeks old she was going to be sleeping through the night like a champ and was so excited for her to get to that age ASAP so we could get our sleep back!

Wasn’t i wrong !! A week later, we started getting a restless baby, who started crying a lot more, becoming fussy with her feeds, grunting, pulling her legs up and this went on almost 24/7, the nights became the worst and we struggled to sleep as she would either not sleep or when she was asleep she would grunt and fuss all night keeping us awake, more so me than Brenden of course. And then there was the SCREAMING, my god does she have a set of lungs on her, she just SCREAMED AND SCREAMED AND SCREAMED most times until she went purple in the face.

So i went straight to my trusty old friend google started typing in her symptoms and of course the very thing i was fearing appeared SILENT ACID REFLUX. Of course i read right into all the symptoms, the treatment, how to help my baby with this horrible thing.

Lucky for me i still had 1 visit from the home midwife so when she came out i spoke to her about it and she confirmed my fears that it sounded like Silent Acid Reflux and referred me to my GP. So a few days later we made an appt to go and see the doctor, again our fears were just confirmed that it was Silent Reflux, she was put straight onto Zantac and we just had to see how she went from there. Within a few days there was an improvement in her and she was not screaming as badly, another week later we were back to where we started, the fussing, the screaming, the grunting etc

So back to the doctor we went, straight to be put onto Losec, the God of all medicines for reflux babies apparently, after a few days on the god medicine we seen some improvement, the baby who we thought had turned into the devil was slowly starting to turn back into an angel.

Google told me this medicine should take effect within hours but for us it was a month or two. We now have a 4 month old happy, smiling, laughing little girl who still needs her medicine to maintain the reflux but we are slowly beginning to enjoy each others company and i can’t wait for her to just get better and better as she grows up.

Lisa xx

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2. The Birth

So Friday the 17th of Feb 2017 came and we were up at 5am in the morning driving to the hospital to be induced, 7am came and the anaesthetist came in, stabbed me with a few needles and there we go i was beginning to lose feeling from the waist down, not long after my obstetrician came in and broke my waters and said i will be back at about 1pm, i of course smiled and said okay but inside i wanted to yell at her and say WHY 1PM , CAN’T YOU JUST GET THE BABY OUT NOW! But no i refrained and kept my cool. I sat in that bed in pretty much the same position all day long (worst back pain ever) waiting, waiting,  doctors and midwives coming in a looking down in that region you would prefer to keep to yourself, feeling my tummy, monitoring the baby and her heart rate, taking my blood pressure every 10 minutes and so on. 1pm came and in walks my obstetrician, i felt relief, excitement and nervous all at once, she says “lets see how we are going” again looks downstairs has a poke around and says “hmm we are only 4 or 5cm dilated, we need to increase the drip (making my contractions happen)” She then looks at me who probably had a face of a kid who just dropped their icecream, patted me on the leg for reassurance and says “its ok, don’t worry we will increase the drip and that should get things going faster” again i smiled and said okay when really i just wanted to burst into tears, i had been in that bed since 6am, couldn’t move much at all, wasn’t aloud to eat a thing (Brenden, mum and his mum are all sitting next to me chowing down food mind you) :( and my back had never felt so much pain ! Anyway, i pulled it together and she tells me she will be back around 5pm :l So i decide to try have a nap and rest hoping this will make things go quicker, which to my surprise it did, next thing it was 5pm and she is back, again all those feelings rushed back, she has a look another poke around and says “much better, we are just about ready to go, ill be back in half an hour and we will start pushing” My first thought was THANK GOD, then i was like FUCK, it’s about to happen, at this point i also realised my epidural bag of goodness looked quite empty, and i had started to get this feeling in my lower stomach, it was like pressure to begin with and from there it started to get worse and would come and go so immediately i think shit i can feel these contractions, isn’t the epidural suppose to stop this! it started getting unbareable so Brenden alerted the nurse and then my doctor came in just to tell me the great news that “we can’t give you anymore of the drip because that pain is the babies head pushing down so we can’t really make that pain go away” WONDERFUL, this pain was so intense it was almost bringing me to tears, anyway i pushed on just squeezing Brenden’s hand every time it showed. It wasn’t much longer and in comes my obstetrician along with a midwife and they start preparing me and themselves for me to push, the pain i was feeling just kept getting worse and worse and every time it came i was told to PUSH as hard as i could into your bum, basically like your trying to do a massive SHIT. So i pushed, and pushed, and pushed, and pushed, never did i think i would be one of those women sitting there with sweat pouring down my face, struggling to catch a breathe just to blurt out “i can’t do it, I can’t do it” to me i felt like i had been pushing for like 5 minutes, usually it feels like a lifetime for other women but not to me, but i clearly no idea on how long it had been because after a little while my obstetrician said she’s going to give me some help but i still need to push, i immediately though “help” what kind of help?! A little tip - Do not watch one born every minute whilst pregnant - they give you a false image on birth in Aus because over there they are happy to use forceps which over here we do not use as this can crush the babies skull if done slightly incorrectly. Anyway of course in my moment of panic i thought she was going to use something along those lines, but to my relief she informs the midwife to get the vacuum, ( i picture the vacuum you use at home to clean the house ) of course it’s nothing like that, so anyway she obviously attaches this device to my babies head and somehow uses it to help pull her out, along with cutting my downstairs to pieces (not literally, but i swear it felt that way) The next thing my babies head is out and she already lets out the biggest cry i feel a little relief and then have to push one more time and then there she is laying up on my chest all covered in blood, muck and crying her little lungs out (clearly she liked the womb better) i don’t blame her.

So there she was, laying on me squirming around, crying, attempting to open her eyes while i just stared at her and then at Brenden and then back at her. After the initial shock wore of that my baby was no longer inside my stomach and was here in the world, i began to sink, i had been laying in the same bed in pretty much the same position since 6am that morning and it was now 6:30 / 7:00pm that night, i still had my legs up on stirrups whilst my obstetrician who sliced me open sat there stitching me back together for what felt like an eternity, mind you by this point i had full feeling back and girls i am sure you can only imagine the immense pain of a needle and thread pushing in and out of your skin downstairs after you just pushed a baby the size of a watermelon of down there, it was excruciating but i just tried to keep my mind off it and on this beautiful little screaming baby i had in front of me. Finally i had been put back together again, pads, towels, all types of things you can imagine had been placed underneath me to catch what felt like and what most certainly was litres of blood pouring out of me. Anyway the obstetrician had done her job, made her money and was out of there in the blink of an eye, and left the midwives to clean up her mess, quite literally. LOL  The midwife came in, took my little baby and gave her a good wipe down, gave her 2 needles, put a nappy on her and dressed her in a little gown then wrapped her up and handed her over to dad for his first cuddle. Meanwhile i laid on the bed, feeling exhausted, emotional and sore so so sore, all i wanted to do was get of that bed, get showered and to be given the strongest possible pain meds there was ! So i laid there waiting for the midwife to come back to me and offer me all of the above, it was probably only 10 minutes until she came back but to me it felt like an hour and i just sobbed to Brenden that i wanted to get up, i wanted to shower and move and not have so much pain! He hugged and comforted me until she came back, when she did she was shocked i could feel everything already but she then gave me her helping hand along with Brendens and they helped me wobble over to the bathroom handing me 4 pads to catch the litres of blood i was told will just continue to poor out, anyway the shower was difficult but i never enjoyed a shower so much that night, i just stood there letting it run down my back, i used so much soap because i just felt so dirty and gross from all the needles i had stuck in me, the blood, the sweat everything was washing away and i felt so much better, i began to think it wasn’t actually that bad after all. Brenden obviously had to help me get dried, dressed etc etc and i then wobbled back out into the room and sat down on a chair, for about 2 minutes it felt amazing, then all the pain came rushing back, my back, my head, my downstairs it all just ached and throbbed immensely, i couldn’t even think about Sophie at this point as she had only just stopped crying since she came out with my mum there settling her down. I just needed a minute to breathe and take it all in, so i sat there with Brenden and we sent out that famous text to all our family and friends announcing the birth of our girl, i had some phone calls and facetime from family sending there congratulations and melting at our new little baby. Anyway all the hype died down, mum went home and it was just me, Brenden and our new baby Sophie, the midwife came in asking if i want to breastfeed i of course said yes, when i was pregnant i always said i will try but i am not going to push if i feel like it’s not for me,  So we gave it a go, but it just wasn’t working, we tried both sides but she just couldn’t latch on and she was screaming her little lungs out, the midwife reassured me it is just because she is hungry and wants food but cannot get it. So the next thing she offered me was to bottle feed her, of course encouraged breast feeding but told me it was completely my decision, at this point i was exhausted and in severe pain and all i wanted was to stop my baby from crying, so i opted out and she handed me a bottle, Sophie SCULLED 15mls in seconds and there it was, complete silence, she was content and i breathed a sigh of relief, after that point the midwife sat with us discussing bottle and breastfeeding again saying i can try again if i would like but its up to me. I of course just leant straight toward bottle feeding, it seemed easier, less painful and i could get help from others with bottle feeding so that decision was made, we were going to bottle feed. The midwife then left to go organise me a new room to move into.

Brenden and i just sat there taking it all in talking about bottle feeding and breastfeeding and he of course supported whatever decision i was going to make, which ended up just being to bottle feed. Not to long after we were packed up and moved into our new room, it was about 9 or 10pm at night by this point and Brenden and i were exhausted after a long day, he got us some food but i couldn’t even think about food at this point i just had a hot chocolate and sat on the bed, wishing i could just lay down and fall asleep but i think my adrenalin was still pumping because that was not going to happen. So our first night was horrible, Sophie had a lot of mucus which was making her choke a lot through out the night, we were blessed with a very helpful and reassuring midwife to help us with her and i am sure we pressed the buzzer for the nurse like 20 times that night! But every time she came with a smile on her face offering nothing but her help which was such a relief for us,  So that first night we probably had about 1 or 2hrs of sleep and we took turns resting so that someone was always awake in case she started to choke, we fed her every 3-4 hours, we changed our first black tar poop and i was chowing down the pain meds every 4hrs as well as drinking ural (horrible stuff) it did help though so when i did wee it didn’t feel like i was dipping a cut into salt! Silly me went to the bathroom before drinking any of it and my god it was painful! Anyway we survived the night, early that morning Sophie had another choking episode, luckily just as the midwife walked in to check on us because she started going blue, the mucus got stuck in her throat and nose so she couldn’t get a breath out, so they took her down the nursery to suck it out and give her some oxygen, another midwife came back and assured us she was ok they just want to keep an eye on her but she was in the nursery and we could go see her whenever we want.  By this point it was lunch time so we decided to quickly eat and were then going to go down and see her but a few minutes later they brought her back in and said she was fine. So that day we had a lot of visitors come and meet Sophie and bring gifts for her so again at the end of our 2nd day we were exhausted. Our 2nd night was a bit better than our first but still we had some choking episodes and we had some crying episodes that night to, we again took turns in looking after her while the other rested, i think we swapped from the bed to the chair several times holding Sophie propped up on a pillow just to make sure she was ok and so she would sleep. Sunday morning came and we just wanted to go home, not to mention the afternoon before a new midwife had started to take care of us who was snobby, questioned me about breastfeeding, tried to teach us different ways of bathing and wrapping Sophie when we had already been taught so we just wanted out. Lucky for us that afternoon / night we were let out and were home by 7pm. And so from here our life with Sophie began.

Read blog post 3. Our first month with Sophie Lisa xx

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1. Pregnant

Well here it is, the blog i have thought about starting since i fell pregnant and all the hormones and emotions i could ever imagine started to show themselves.

So if you don’t want to hear a whinging female, complain and vent about pretty everything there is to complain about when being pregnant and becoming a new mum then stop reading and press the X in the top left corner! :)

I should probably begin with a little info about me, my fiance and our now 4 month old baby.

I am Lisa, i am 24 years young i am engaged to Brenden 26 years young and we have created a little devil baby together who we sometimes call Sophie who is 4 months young.

So Brenden and i have been together for almost 3 years, engaged for 1 year, although it feels like its been a lifetime with all the shit we have been through together, i never thought a guy i met at a local club would go on to become my fiance and baby daddy ;) but here we are today. Our relationship for about the first 6 months - 1 year was tested and we pushed each other (sometimes still do) to our absolute limits and there were points were we both thought this isn’t going to work, but again hear we are, anyway i won’t bore you with our life long story of love, laughter, tears, anger etc etc because at the end of the day we are here today, engaged and have a child together and i couldn’t imagine myself or my life having gone anywhere else because Brenden is someone who makes me truly happy and that is all i need in life.

So lets get to the real reason of why i created this blog, SOPHIE aka THE DEVIL, just kidding, actually i’m not. So about 9 + 4 months ago Brenden and i made the decision that we wanted to start a family together, i think we had argued for about a week or 2 before we actually made the decision because if i am perfectly honest Brenden wasn’t all for the idea at first and was not sure if he was ready for fatherhood but my answer to him was who is ever ready to become a parent, which is obviously what lead us to discussing, planning and making the decision to have a baby. So we all know how babies are made & if you don’t then you probably are to young to be on this blog ( top left corner X now ;) ) so we don’t need to get into that but after about a month or so i was PREGNANT just like that i know right, anyway we were both so excited and couldn’t wait to tell everyone but of course we wanted to wait until the 3 months safe zone was up to announce to everyone, especially with miscarriages running in both our families so it was an exciting but scary time for us, but the 3 months flew by and the next thing we were announcing our little bundle of joy to world via facebook of course because thats the way everyone communicates these days.

So there was only 6 months left which still was a scary time for us because i feel as though that little baby growing inside of you is never truly safe until you are holding them in your arms knowing you are going to do everything you possibly can now to keep them safe, even then they aren’t safe. So the 6 months seemed to drag on for me, i was blessed with a good pregnancy (thank god) with little morning sickness and only one off mornings feeling nauseas, i didn’t really experience anything bad during my pregnancy, i of course whinged and complained from about 30 weeks onwards when i started having shortness of breath, little bits of indigestion, sleep troubles and restless leg syndrome ( i think i still experience this one now, its a shocker ). So skip all the boring stuff and 6 months later on the 15th of Feb 2017 i was sitting in my obstetricians room being asked if i would be ok with her inducing me on Friday the 17th of Feb 2017 (due to a low platelet count, which means no epidural if it drops to low - and i was having that EPIDURAL!) So of course my answer was yes, firstly because i didn’t want to risk having no pain relief, even though i could of totally handled it ;) jokes no way i could of. I also was completely over being pregnant February being the hottest month of the year in Aus and being pregnant through summer is not FUN, so those of you planning for babies, have WINTER babies!  So on the 17th February 2017 we had our little baby girl Sophie Marie Owen. For the birth story ( in detail ) go on to read blog post 2. The birth

Lisa xx