lisamilford - Tumblr blog

[lisamilford]

A very attractive girl well along the road from try to want to need to must.

In the tropics.

[lisamilford]

Just because... ‼️

[lisamilford]

At the party your girlfriend makes smoking look so light and refined, sophisticated and easy. But you know that her habit doesn’t give her any breaks. She let it grow large, and now it’s in charge.

[lisamilford]

Good friends and a special place. It’s how it starts.

[lisamilford]

For a smoker, this is the most incredible moment. That slight need has built up, tugging a little, getting a little louder and a little more insistent, wanting to be fed. For some it is only a few times a day, maybe after a meal. For others, the tug starts up again only a minutes after the last one is crushed out. But it is the same. Feed me. Satisfy me. And then - this moment of anticipation- and the satisfaction.

[lisamilford]

At a family wedding back when you could smoke . . . It was fun to get together and see all the relatives - who quit (I’ll bet she sneaks one tonight), the old standbys (she’s always smoked) and who has started. Still sort of the same, but we have to go outside.

[lisamilford]

I think this was sophmore year college watching my boyfriend run a 10k. I used to be a runner but, well, you know.

[lisamilford]

I don’t want to smell like smoke or risk a burn in my dress, but god I need a hit. Light another one up so I can have a couple more drags. Kiss the groom? Oh that’s not a problem. He doesn’t smoke, but I started way before we met, so he’s always kissed me as a smoker. And never complained!

[lisamilford]

Yes, I started smoking once I got to college I just sort of fell into it. Of course being around mom I knew what smoking and smokers were likes. I only smoke 10 or 12 a day, nothing like mom. A little puppy habit, my boyfriend says. But it scares me my puppy might grow to the size of mom’s dog. Or excites me, I don’t know. Mom’s dog is big and mean if she doesn’t keep her fed all the time. Just waking up? Feed me. Busy at work? Feed me. Driving home? Feed me. Feeling congested? Hit the inhaler and feed me. But if mom keeps her fed her dog is so good to her, cuddly and protective, always there. I guess I do want a big cuddly dog too.

[lisamilford]

College is a good time to make life long friendships, with each other, and their cigarettes. They would remain friends for decades, having fun together and being there for each other. Graduation, first job, pack a day girl, vacations, weddings, babys, first houses, another baby, a divorce, pack and a half, a new man, another baby, always together. When the world got mean to smokers their friendship was even more important. High school graduations, daughters smoking now, empty nest, always a call or text to a friend, and always a cigarette.

[lisamilford]

Smoking in our 40s. Most of hit our 25th or 30th anniversary. We’re smoking a little more days. But we know we look good, slim even with a few more lines. We know how to make the cigarette look good and how to mask some of the negatives - it’s nice when there’s an elevator.

[lisamilford]

Smoking in our 30s. We smoke with maturity and confidence. We’re not embarrassed to step outside or excuse ourselves - it’s maturity and confidence, but also need. We have the deep inhales and long exhales of a true smoker. We know we look good.

[lisamilford]

Smoking in our 20s. We smoke because we look good. We smoke because everyone looks when we light up. We smoke because it’s a little naughty but not really. We smoke because we need them. It’s a complicated and wonderful habit.

[lisamilford]

You’re a smoker when you apply for a job because you know they are relaxed about smoke breaks. It’s too hard to go all morning with only one.

[lisamilford]

Mom, Dad, I’m bringing my girlfriend home this weekend to introduce her to you. She’s so cool. Now don’t be upset, but she’s a smoker. She’s smart and pretty but her cigarettes relax her and she needs them. We’ll go outside when she needs one. Just don’t freak out when you hear the alarm beep late at night or first thing in the morning.

[lisamilford]

The window became her spot at the party.

[lisamilford]

Is her Mom proud that her smart, accomplished daughter has grown in her smoking too and can carry off such a confident, adult look? Or sad that her daughter now gets nervous and itchy if she needs to go more than an hour without a cigarette?